It’s Super Bowl Sunday, which means that people like me — who know little about football and care even less — will be having a great time watching commercials!
Speaking of which, here’s the Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2 Super Bowl spot! I can’t wait until this movie comes out!
In America, they love winners and that’s especially true when it comes to the Super Bowl. Every year, one team wins the Super Bowl and goes home to a parade and sometimes a riot. Another teams loses the Super Bowl, often becomes a laughing-stock, and spends the next season searching for “redemption,” never mind that even the team that loses the Super Bowl still did something that 30 other NFL teams failed to do.
Just ask the Buffalo Bills. In the early 1990s, the Bills accomplished something that no other football team had ever accomplished. They went to four consecutive super bowls. And yet, because they lost all four times, the 90s Bills are remembered for what they lost instead of what they accomplished. If the Bills had won all four of those Super Bowls, they would be remembered as the greatest team of all time. But because they lost, they are forever remembered as being joke.
Four Falls of Buffalo is a documentary about those four Super Bowls, all told from the point of view of the players that lost and the city that loved them. Four Falls of Buffalo is very much a fan’s film but it’s still interesting to watch. Along with detailing what went wrong (and sometimes right) at all four of the Super Bowls that the Bills lost, it also features interviews with the Bills players. Particularly notewothy is an interview with Scott Norwood, the kicker who missed a field goal that, had he made it, would have won Super Bowl XXV for the Bills. Even though the city of Buffalo embraced him after the loss, it is obvious that missed kick still haunts him.
Watch Four Falls of Buffalo in honor of all the teams that made it to the Super Bowl but did not get that win.
Since we are only a few hours away from the big game, I better get my Super Bowl predictions in.
I predict that the final score will be:
New England Patriots — 32
Atlanta Falcons — 17
After winning his fifth Super Bowl, Tom Brady will announce his retirement, run against Elizabeth Warren in 2018, and will be elected President in 2028.
Congratulations, Mr. President!
Quarterback Cat Catlan (Charlton Heston) used to be one of the greats. For fifteen years, he has been a professional football player. He probably should have retired after he led the New Orleans Saints to their first championship but, instead, the stubborn Cat kept playing. Now, he is 40 years old and struggling to keep up with the younger players. His coach (John Randolph) says that Cat has another two or three years left in him but the team doctor (G.D. Spradlin who, ten years later, played a coach in North Dallas Forty) says that one more strong hit could not only end Cat’s career but possibly his life as well. Two of former Cat’s former teammates (Bruce Dern and Bobby Troup) offer to help Cat find a job off the field but Cat tells them the same thing that he tells his long-suffering wife (Jessica Walter). He just has to win one more championship.
Number One is unique for being one of the first movies to ever take a look at the dark side of professional football. At 40, Cat is facing an uncertain future. His years of being a star have left him unprepared to deal with life in the real world. He has no real friends and a wife who no longer needs him. This would seem like a perfect role for Heston, who always excelled at playing misanthropes. Heston is convincing when he’s arguing with his wife or refusing to sign an autograph but, surprisingly, he is thoroughly unconvincing whenever he’s on the field. For all of his grunting and all the lines delivered through gritted teeth, Heston is simply not believable as a professional athlete, even one who is past his prime. (When he played the 40 year-old Cat, Heston was 46 and looked like he was 56.) Whenever Cat throws a football, he’s played by Heston in close-ups and very obviously replaced by real-life Saints quarterback Billy Kilmer for the long shots. A football film is only as good and convincing as the football action and, on that front, Number One leaves much to be desired.
This 1969 press photo displays Heston’s throwing technique.
Two final notes: For the scene in which Cat is tackled by three Dallas Cowboys (all played by actual players), Heston requested that the players actually tackle him. Heston ended up with three broken ribs.
Finally, Number One was made the cooperation of the New Orleans Saints and features several players in the cast. When Number One was filmed, the Saints were still a relatively new expansion team. Cat is described as having already led the Saints to a championship but it would actually be another 40 years before the Saints would finally make their first trip to the Super Bowl.
So, as our longtime readers know, the only reason I ever watch the Super Bowl is for the commercials. Every year, I post my 6 favorite Super Bowl commercials. Now, I have to be honest, it’s hard to pick 6 from this year’s crop. This was a seriously bland year! There were no sexy commercials. There were no secretly subversive commercials. There were no commercials so offensive that I simply had to post them just to be annoying.
Instead, we got stuff like the Super Bowl Babies. And I know that a lot of people loved the Super Bowl Babies but … bleh. Seriously, it was a really creepy and kind of annoying commercial and I refuse to believe that anyone actually enjoyed it. I think people saw the babies and thought, “Oh, I have to enjoy this or else it means I don’t love babies.” The babies were cute but the commercial was super creepy.
And then there was this stupid Puppy Monkey Baby thing. What the Hell was that supposed to be!?
I have to say — if I was going to have a pet that was half baby, that’s not the half that I would want.
Anyway, I did finally manage to come up with 6 that I did like. And here they are! Please understand that being include on this list does not mean that this site or any author of this site is saying that you should use any of the services or products being advertised. In fact, seeing as how we’re not getting any money for highlighting this excellent commercials, I would suggest that you not use anything featured in these commercials.
Here are the commercials:
6) Coca-Cola: Little Marvels
Those little minicans drive me crazy and I refuse to allow them in either the house or here at the TSL offices. Just a few days ago, Leonard try to stock some in the break room fridge and I spent the next few hours pouring them all out on the floor just to make a point! But, taking all that into consideration, I still like this ad because … well, Ant-Man’s cute.
5) Kia: Walken Closet
I liked this one because it featured Christopher Walken and … well, that’s pretty much the only reason. But it’s a good reason! If nothing else, it kept me from thinking about how much I hate car commercials. I hope Walken does a truck commercial next because I want him to explain what torque means.
4) T-Mobile — Drop The Balls
I liked this one because 1) Steve Harvey has a good sense of humor about traumatizing Miss Colombia and 2) it makes fun of Verizon. Seriously, Verizon commercials are so smug! Anyway, you tell them, Steve and keep praying for all us heathens.
3) Avocados From Mexico: Avos In Space
I really enjoyed this ad. I’ll probably hate it after I see it another 100 times but for now, good job!
2) Prius: Getaway Car
I’m still trying to get the Dazzling Erin to buy a Prius so I can make fun of her for getting one. But, after seeing this commercial, I now understand that a Prius is also a great car to own if you’re planning on fleeing from the police. Seeing as how I always root for the guy being chased whenever there’s a high-speed police chase, I appreciated this feature of the car. Add to that, I love the way that the Prius 4 become celebrities because that’s exactly what would happen in real life.
1) T-Mobile: Restricted Bling
It’s Jimmy! And he can walk again!
And that’s it for this year! Next year, advertisers, let’s bring back the sexy and the pretentious, okay? It’ll make it a lot easier to make out a list.
Since we are only three hours away from the game, I better get my prediction in:
Carolina 24
Denver 21
And the game-winning field goal will be kicked by Gus the mule.
Enjoy the game (if you’re watching!)
My New England Patriots aren’t in this year’s big game, and I can’t stand that big-headed Peyton Manning, so my interest in tonight’s Super Bowl is minimal. And the halftime show does nothing for me: Coldplay is probably one of my least favorite bands (Beyoncé’s OK, though). So if like me, you’re not planning on spending much time watching Roger Goodell’s season-ending spectacular (can’t stand Goodell, either) may I suggest an alternative, namely John Frankenheimer’s thriller BLACK SUNDAY.
No, it’s not the 1960 Barbara Steele/Mario Bava horror classic, this BLACK SUNDAY is a rousing political thriller about terrorist organization Black September plotting a strike against America at the biggest game of them all, the Super Bowl. Beautiful but deadly terrorist Dahlia (Marthe Keller) has recruited the bitter, unstable blimp pilot Michael Lander (Bruce Dern at his 70’s psycho best) to turn the blimp into the ultimate suicide bomb, with plastique explosives setting…
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Last night, as I was trying to write up my annual list of the good things that I saw on TV during the previous year, I realized that I was struggling a bit to come up with enough entries to justify doing a list. The more I thought about it, the more apparent it became that I watched a lot less TV than usual last year.
(Though I did manage to watch a lot of Lifetime movies…)
Furthermore, when I do think about what I saw on television last year, a lot of my memories deal with being annoyed. I find myself fixating on those terrible Liberty Mutual Insurance Commercials and that stupid advertisement where they wouldn’t stop saying, “The Tobin Stance…” and especially that Taco Bell commercial with those horrible hipsters, Mary and Dominic, talking about how much they love breakfast tacos.
BLEH!
But, that said, there were still a few things worth praising! (Hope is never totally lost…) And here they are in no particular order:
1) South Park Had One Of Its Greatest Seasons Ever!
Seriously, 2015 saw South Park have one of its greatest seasons ever. Trey and Matt took on the excesses of PC Culture and ended up providing one of the most important and incisive critiques of 21st Century America ever. At a time when political and cultural criticism is growing increasingly dreary and predictable, South Park delivered a much-needed jolt to the system and reminded of us why satire and humor are so important in the first place. Perhaps the best part of this season was watching dreary PC-obsessed critics desperately trying to figure out how to praise this season without acknowledging that they were the ones being satirized.
2) UnReal
One of the best shows on television premiered on the Lifetime network. UnReal took us behind the scenes of a Bachelor-type series and provided the ultimate take down of reality television. I love reality TV but I loved UnReal even more.
3) Ash vs. Evil Dead
Save us, Groovy Bruce!
4) Agent Carter
Agent Carter didn’t get as much attention as it deserved during its 8-episode short season. I loved the show’s retro look, I loved the way it satirized 40s style sexism, I loved the dashing Dominic Cooper as Iron Man’s father, and most of all, I loved Hayley Atwell as Peggy Carter! The overrated Supergirl has been getting a lot of attention as an empowering comic book show but honestly, Agent Carter did it first, did it with style and wit, and did it a 100 times better.
5) Show Me A Hero
At times, this HBO miniseries was a bit too heavy-handed for my taste. But overall, it was a fascinating look at municipal politics and racism up north. (Yes, there are racists up north, as much as people refuse to admit it.) Plus, Oscar Isaac gave a great performance as an initially idealistic politician who is literally destroyed by his attempt to do the right thing.
6) Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
HBO pretty much fell apart this year (The Brink? Ballers?) but, fortunately, Netflix was there to offer up some of the best original programming of the year. Kimmy Schmidt is brilliantly hilarious and gives Elle Kemper a role that is finally worthy of her talents.
7) Jessica Jones
Again, who needs Supergirl when you’ve got Jessica Jones?
8) Glenn lived on The Walking Dead!
Actually, I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. To be honest, having Glenn survive that zombie attack totally goes against everything that The Walking Dead previously stood for. After all, this was the show where anyone could die. It didn’t matter if you were likable or popular or if the sight of you being ripped into pieces would traumatize the viewers. Under the previously established rules of the show, Glenn should have died. And yet, he didn’t. And I can’t complain because, seriously — was anyone really ready to see Glenn die? That said, if Glenn somehow escapes certain death a second time, it’ll be a problem.
9) Degrassi Was Picked Up By Netflix!
Oh my God, I was so upset when I heard that my beloved Degrassi would no longer be airing on TeenNick. I’ve always said that the day when there were no more episodes of Degrassi would be the day that I would finally have to admit to being an adult. Fortunately, Netflix picked up Degrassi so I got to put off adulthood for at least another year.
10) More Old People TV Networks
I’m a history nerd so I love all of these TV networks that only show reruns of old people TV shows. I may never get to personally experience what it was like to be alive in the 1970s but I can a rerun on an Old People TV Network and get a taste. And happily, it seems like there’s a new Old People TV network every day! Seriously, I’m getting quite an education.
11) Mario Bava and Lucio Fulci on TCM
Last year, they showed both Shock and The House By The Cemetery on TCM! Finally, Bava and Fulci are getting the respect they deserve. Now, if only TCM would show a Jean Rollin film…
12) Speaking of TCM…
Actually, I just love TCM in general. It’s without a doubt the greatest thing in the world!
13) Debate Counter-Programming
Seriously, I am so happy that there is always something else for me to watch while everyone else in the world is watching a Presidential debate. My main fear is that, in the future, all of the networks will decide to simultaneously air the debates (like they occasionally do with charity fund raisers) and there will be no escape from the droning emptiness of it all.
(Seriously, I could imagine them doing it. “These debates are damn important…” Whatever.)
14) One of my tweets appeared on TV!
Seriously that was pretty neat, even if I did turn out to be 100% incorrect in my prediction.
15) I trashed The Leisure Class and sent at least one troll into a rage spiral!
Seriously, never underestimate how much some people love the unlovable! My oddly controversial review of the Project Greenlight film really rubbed some people the wrong way. That some people felt so strongly about it is both alarming and amusing.
16) Dancing Sharks at The Super Bowl!
That was in 2015, wasn’t it?
Dance, Shark, dance!
Tomorrow, I’ll continue my look back at 2015 with my ten favorite non-fiction books of the year!
Previous Entries In The Best of 2015:
Arleigh has in the past taken time to congratulate the San Francisco Giants upon winning the World Series, so as a long time New England Patriots fan, I can only say congratulations to the Patriots for winning the Super Bowl, and here’s to hoping that he’ll win a record fifth championship next year! Yes, this is a short post, but that’s all that’s needed right now.
The Amazing Spider-Man 2 continues the reboot Sony began with the Spider-Man franchise minus Sam Raimi and Tobey Maguire. While The Amazing Spider-Man did quite well in the box-office when it came out in 2012 the general consensus with fans and critics alike was that it was just another origins tale that rehashed events from the Peter Parker story that was already well-known to comic book and non-comic book fans alike.
This sequel will now bring in villains and some plot points that fans have been waiting for since the franchise first began in the early 2000’s. We have Jamie Foxx and Paul Giamatti as the villains Electro and Rhino finally appearing on film with hints that other iconic Spider-Man villains such as the Vulture and the Hobgoblin probably having a cameo. This sudden flood of villains looks to be Sony’s attempt to set-up a Sinister Six film that would be the studio’s way to counter the success of Marvel’s and Disney’s success with The Avengers.
Time will tell if this gamble will end up paying off for Sony and many comic books wish it won’t since there’s a chance it would return Spider-Man to Marvel Studios thus making him available to appear in future films as an Avenger.
Sony went to unprecedented lengths to make sure people knew about the new trailer arriving on Super Bowl Sunday. We had a teaser teasing the trailer for the Super Bowl. Then we had the brief teaser shown during the Super Bowl. Below is the full 3-minute plus trailer that was shown on-line soon after.
The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is set for a May 2, 2014 release date.
Through the Shattered Lens 