Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.14 “Remission”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

It’s another day at the hospital.

Episode 1.14 “Remission”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on February 22nd, 1983)

A young Michael Madsen pops up in this episode, playing a hoodlum named Mike O’Connor who brings his severely beaten friend to the hospital.  This was Madsen’s first role on television and, in his very first scene and while delivering his very first televised monologue, he drops the N-word as he accuses a group of black men of beating up his friend.  Dr. Morrison is worried about whether or not Madsen’s friend is going to lose a kidney.  Meanwhile, race relations in Boston are not doing well.  What else is new?

(I remember, after the shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson, there was a commentator who thought he was being clever when he said, “I don’t understand why blacks stay in the South when they could just move to Boston.”  The response to his comments served as a reminder that Boston’s history of racism makes some Southern cities seem almost progressive by comparison.)

It’s interesting that Michael Madsen is the second well-known actor to appear on St. Elsewhere as a gang member.  Just a few episodes ago, Howie Mandel was chasing Ray Liotta out of the hospital.  This particular episode ended with a fight breaking out in the ER between a white gang and a black gang.  I assume this will be continued next week so I guess we still have time to see Howie Mandel pull a gun on Michael Madsen.  Seriously, it better happen.  I’m plotting the upcoming week around it.

Speaking of Dr. Fiscus, he got evicted from his apartment.  He was shocked, even though he hadn’t paid his rent in forever.  No one wants Fiscus to stay with them but, after Fiscus saved Dr. Ehrlich from getting beaten up in the ER (and no, this was not a part of the gang fight, instead it was a different fight — goldang, Boston’s dangerous!  And yes, I gave up cursing for Lent), Ehrlich agrees to let Fiscus stay with him until he gets a new place.  I imagine Ehrlich will come to regret that, especially after Fiscus showed up with Dr. Kochar and a homeless guy who had earlier helped them steer a truck out of a traffic jam.  What?  Don’t ask, it didn’t make much sense on the show either.

Dr. Cavenero has been nominated for a prestigious fellowship by Dr. Auschlander but she’s not sure if she should accept it because the fellowship would be for research and she’s not sure that’s what she wants to focus on.  Auschlander has bigger issues to deal with, as he ends up collapsing in the hospital hallway, a result of his liver cancer.  The irony that Auschlander, a liver specialist, is dying of liver cancer is not lost on Auschlander and Norman Lloyd did a wonderful job in this episode, portraying not only Auschlander’s frustration but also his gentle humor.

Also, a woman was walking around the hospital and flashing people.  She said it was because she wanted to show off that, even in middle age, she still had a good body.  That makes sense to me.  Played by Janis Page, she was somehow who was fine for a one episode storyline but I’m going to scream if this becomes a multi-episode thing, like it did with Ralph the Birdman.

This was a good episode, even if I get the feeling the whole gang thing is going to be cringey in the way that most 80s television shows tended to be whenever they tried to take on race relations.  Norman Lloyd’s heartfelt performance carried the hour.  I’m hoping the best for Dr. Auschlander.  He’s a character that I would hate to lose.

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 3.5 “The Chain Gang/The Boss”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  Almost entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube!

What I’ve long-feared has happened.

Tubi has removed the original Fantasy Island from its site.  The recently-canceled Fox version can be viewed but not the original.  Don’t get me wrong.  I liked the new Fox version.  But these are Retro Television Reviews and a show that premiered in 2021 is not yet retro.

Fortunately, quite a few episodes are on YouTube and it’s probable that the original complete series will again end up streaming somewhere.  So, I’m going to try to continue to review this show.  I can’t guarantee that I won’t run out of episodes at some point.  For instance, it doesn’t appear that much of seasons 6 or 7 can be found, even on YouTube.  (Unfortunately, it appears that only the first three seasons of Fantasy Island have been released on DVD.)  But I’m going to do my best!

Episode 3.5 “The Chain Gang/The Boss”

(Dir by Michael Vejar, originally aired on October 19th, 1979)

Tattoo has decided that he wants to be an artist!  Mr. Roarke demands to know why because God forbid Tattoo have a life outside of spotting the plane.  Tattoo admits that he wants to get the island women to pose for him.  Mr. Roarke orders Tattoo to abandon his art career and head down to the docks to meet the plane.

The plane is carrying two guests who hope, much like Tattoo, to change their lives.

Cindy Carter (Donna Mills) is a switchboard operator who has a crush on her boss, Brent Bailey (Brett Halsey).  Her fantasy is to be the boss of her own company.  Mr. Roarke grants her wish and soon, Cindy is in charge of her own multi-national corporation.  In fact, her corporation owns Brent Bailey’s business!  Cindy also gets a executive assistant named Gary Pointer (Roddy McDowall).  Unfortunately, it turns out that Brent isn’t a very nice person and he’s been siphoning money out of the pension fund.  He threatens to frame Cindy to keep her from approving an audit of the fund.  However, with Gary’s support and eventual love, Cindy stands up to Brent and reveals his wrong-doing.  Mr. Atwell (Stacy Keach, Sr.), the presumed-dead head of the company, suddenly shows up at the stockholder’s meeting and announces that he faked his own death to discover who was embezzling from the pension fund.  The stockholders applaud as Brent Bailey is taken away from the police.  It’s all rather silly and melodramatic but the likable presence of Roddy McDowall kept the story entertaining.

Meanwhile, Mike Jenner (Dennis Cole) came to the Island to confront Eddie Collins (Cameron Mitchell), the criminal that Mike believes murdered his father and framed him for a theft.  (There’s a lot of theft in this episode.)  Mr. Roarke reveals that Eddie lives in a nearby fishing village.  Mike goes to the village, spots Eddie, and punches him.  Eddie hits back….

….and both of them are sentenced to spend a year on a chain gang!

Fantasy Island has a chain gang!?  And the chain gang is overseen by a redneck named Captain Hawks (R.G. Armstong)!?  Why has this never been mentioned before?  I mean, is it normal to sentence paying guests to spend a year on the chain gang?

Anyway, Eddie and Mike set aside their difference and break out out the prison camp.  (Fantasy Island has prison camps!?)  During their escape, Eddie gets trapped in quicksand.  Mike does eventually rescue him but only after Eddie confesses to having framed Mike’s father.  As soon as Eddie confesses, Mr. Roarke shows up in his jeep.  Apparently, Mike is now free to leave the Island with his fiancee (Pat Klous) while Eddie is sent to the Fantasy Island prison for the rest of his life.  Much as the other fantasy was saved by the reliable likability of Roddy McDowall, this episode was saved by Cameron Mitchell’s grouchy presence.  One could always trust Mitchell to give it his all while playing a bad guy.

With the fantasies taken care of, Tattoo returns to his art.  When he asks his model to pose naked, she destroys all of his paintings while Mr. Roarke laughs and laughs.  Mr. Roarke really does hate his assistant.

A Movie A Day #224: Armed and Dangerous (1986, directed by Mark L. Lester)


John Candy and Eugene Levy make a great team in the underrated comedy, Armed and Dangerous.

John Candy plays Frank Dooley, a member of the LAPD.  One of the first scenes of the movie is Frank climbing up a tree to save a little boy’s kitten and then getting stuck in the tree himself.  When Frank discovers two corrupt detectives stealing televisions, Frank is framed for the theft and kicked off the force.

Eugene Levy plays Norman Kane, a lawyer whose latest client is a Charles Manson-style cult leader who has a swastika carved into his head.  After being repeatedly threatened with murder, Norman asks for a sidebar and requests that the judge sentence his client to life in prison.  The judge agrees on the condition that Norman, whom he describes as being “the worst attorney to ever appear before me,” find a new line of work.

Frank and Norman end up taking a one day training course to act as security guards and are assigned to work together by their tough by sympathetic supervisor (Meg Ryan!).  Assigned to guard a pharmaceutical warehouse, Frank and Norman stumble across a robbery.  The robbery leads them to corruption inside their own union and, before you can say 80s cop movie, Frank and Norman are ignoring the orders of their supervisors and investigating a crime that nobody wants solved.

Armed and Dangerous was one of the many comedy/cop hybrid films of the 1980s.  Like Beverly Hills Cop, it features Jonathan Banks as a bad guy.  Like the recruits in Police Academy, all of Frank and Norman’s fellow security guards are societal misfits who are distinguished by one or two eccentricities.  There is nothing ground-breaking about Armed and Dangerous but Mark Lester did a good job directing the movie and the team of Candy and Levy (who has previously worked together on SCTV) made me laugh more than a few times.

Armed and Dangerous was originally written to be a vehicle for John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd.  It’s easy to imagine Belushi and Aykroyd in the lead roles but I think the movie actually works better with Candy and Levy, whose comedic style was similar to but far less aggressive than that of Belushi and Aykroyd.  One of the reasons that Armed and Dangerous works is because John Candy and Eugene Levy seem like the two last people to ever find themselves in a shootout or a car chase.  With Belushi and Aykroyd, it would have been expected.  After all, everyone’s seen The Blues Brothers.

 

Horror on the Lens: Panic at Lakewood Manor (dir by Robert Scheerer)


Today’s horror on the lens is a made-for-TV movie from 1977.  This movie has many different names: Panic at Lakewood Manor, It Happened At Lakewood Manor, and Ants.

Panic at Lakewood Manor is a mix of different genres.  It’s a disaster film, a soap opera, and ultimately a revenge-of-nature horror film.  The film begins with our cast gathering at Lakewood Manor, a luxury hotel that’s only partially finished.  In fact, the owners are so determined to complete construction that they ignore the threat posed by …. KILLER ANTS!

Anyway, this is a made-for-TV movie from the 70s so it’s never as graphic as what we’d expect to see today.  That said, I once accidentally stepped on a fire ant mound while I was barefoot and OH MY GOD DID THAT EVER HURT!  AGCK!

If you’re a fan of old movies, you’ll enjoy seeing a lot of familiar faces in this one.  Even Myrna Loy shows up!

(Incidentally, this film was written by Guerdon Trueblood, who directed the brilliant The Candy Snatchers.)