Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.13 “Family History”

Posted on February 22, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

Usually, I review this show on Friday but, yesterday, my week of visiting Lake Texoma in freezing weather finally caught up with me and I spent most of the day congested and curled up in bed. As a result, St. Elsewhere got preempted until today. Now, let’s see what’s happening at St. Eligius….

Episode 1.13 “Family History”

(Dir by Kevin Hooks, originally aired on February 8th, 1983)

After being a background character for the past few episodes, Dr. Wendy Armstrong (Kim Miyori) finally gets her time in the spotlight with this episode. When Charlie Heller (Keenan Wynn) comes into the ER with a chronic nosebleed, Dr. Armstrong is too quick to assume that it’s nothing serious. Dr. Westphall, who is in an especially crappy mood this episode, reprimands her for not getting a family history before making her diagnosis. A chastened Armstrong gets Charlie’s family history and comes to suspect that he has a rare blood condition that only seems to effect Jewish men. A very expensive test confirms Armstrong’s diagnosis. Armstrong is excited. “I was right!” she says. Westphall again reprimands her, telling her that she now needs to tell Charlie that he has a chronic condition and will have to take medicine for the rest of his life.

Seriously, Westphall was not in a good mood during this episode! But I don’t blame him. From her first appearance on the show, Dr. Armstrong has been complaining nonstop. No matter what happens in the hospital, she seems to take it as a personal affront. Now, after several episodes of complaining about the other doctors, Armstrong fails to do a simple thing like get a family history. No wonder Westphall was all like, What are you bragging about?

That said, even if his mood was understandable, I would not want to get on Westphall’s bad side. Even after Armstrong makes the correct diagnosis, Westphall takes the time to say, “Next time, do what I told you to do.” Agck!

While Westphall was dealing with whatever was eating away at him, Dr. Chandler was getting annoyed by John Doe’s refusal to try to remember anything about his past. Even when John Doe’s real father showed up and explained that Doe was his son, Dave Stewart, he refused to try to remember anything. Eventually, Chandler snapped at Dave for refusing to even try. Chandler, of course, is played by a young Denzel Washington so, when he gets mad, it’s like having the voice of God call you out. After Chandler’s reprimand, Dave finally makes an effort to remember his past. He realizes that, when he was shot, he had a vision of his deceased mother welcoming him to heaven. Awwww!

Dr. Craig’s friend has his gender affirmation surgery. Crag met his friend’s lover, a trans man. Needless to say, this episode featured a lot of scenes of Craig rolling his eyes as he struggled to come to terms with everything he was learning about his old friend. It was all pretty predictable but William Daniels did a great job playing up Craig’s confusion and single-mindedness.

And finally, Peter was happy because his wife wanted to get back together. I get the feeling any happiness Peter feels is destined to always be temporary.

This episode was a bit uneven. Armstrong’s story would have been compelling if Armstrong herself was a more interesting character. The highlight of the episode were the scenes between Denzel Washington’s doctor and Tom Hulce’s amnesiac. It’s always enjoyable to watch two good actors perform opposite of each other.

Next week, the great Norman Lloyd takes center stage as Auschlander’s cancer returns.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 2/9/25 — 2/15/25

Posted on February 15, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Abbott Elementary (Wednsesday Night, ABC)

I loved the science fair episode, which I watched on Hulu on Wednesday afternoon! Ava is my favorite character so I enjoy any episode that deals with her troubled past, her unique principal style, and the moments where she actually turns out to be good at her job.

I also enjoyed the latest episode of Abbott, with Ava helping out the other schools and Jacob giving an impassioned speech to the school board that will probably come back to haunt him at some point in the future. After the previous season’s somewhat uneven mix of episodes, it’s nice to see Abbott Elementary going strong again!

Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown (Apple TV+)

Erin and I watched this on Thursday. It’s a holiday tradition! You can read Erin’s review here!

Dark (Netflix)

Case and I finished up season two this week. Onward to the season three next week!

Extracted (Monday Night, Fox)

In this new reality show, out-of-shape people go into the wilderness and try not to die. From a control room, their family members watch and debate whether or not to pull them out of the game. On Wednesday, I watched the first two episodes on Hulu. The show is ludicrous but it’s entertaining, as most good reality shows are. I would hope that my family would pull me out after the first ten minutes.

Kitchen Nightmares (Tuesday Night, Fox)

Finally leaving the ugly restaurants of New Orleans, Chef Ramsay helped out an ugly restaurant in Houston. Seriously, how does the show find these ugly places? This time, the restaurant owner got mad at Ramsay and even called him into the storeroom for a talk. Ramsay was still able to get through to her and save the restaurant. Yay!

Scamanda (Hulu)

On Tuesday, I watched the second episode of Scamanda, which revealed a bit about Amanda’s background and also her husband. The episode suggested that Amanda based her scam off of her husband’s stepdaughter from his first marriage and her very real battle with Leukemia. Not only does this show how twisted Amanda was but it also indicates that her husband was very much a part of her scheme. The second episode was marked improvement over the first. I’m looking forward to the third.

The Story Behind (Tubi)

I watched two episodes. One featured the story behind Beverly Hills 9o210. The other was the story behind Full House. Neither really told me anything that I didn’t already know.

Super Bowl LXI (Sunday Night, Fox)

The only thing more boring than the game were the commercials. A lot of people are making a big deal about Taylor Swift getting booed at the game. The Swifties are in an uproar but, honestly, it’s an American tradition to boo celebs at sporting events, especially ones who are only there because they’re dating a player. Taylor’s apparent shock at being booed has become a meme but it was actually a very relatable and human moment. I prefer Taylor’s “What’s going on?” to the celebs who either pretend to not to care or the ones who go into a rage mode the minute they have to deal with public opinion.

Watched and Reviewed Elsewhere:

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.12 “Release”

Posted on February 14, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, things get dark.

Episode 1.12 “Release”

(Dir by Victor Lobl, originally aired on February 1st, 1983)

The gunshot victim (Tom Hulce) who was saved by Samuels last week has woken up but he has no idea who he is. He is labeled John Doe #12, meaning there’s at least eleven other people at St. Eligius who are suffering from amnesia! That’s a scary thought. There’s a lot of things that I don’t want to suffer from and amnesia is high on the list. I can’t imagine how frightening that would be, not having any idea who you are or where you belong.

Dr. Chandler tries to help John Doe #12 get his memory back but, in this episode at least, neither has any luck. Even an attempt at hypnosis reveals that John can’t remember anything before being rolled into the ER. At one point, an older couple step into the room to discover if John is their son, who has been missing for two years. He’s not, which leaves the couple in tears.

As serious and as heart-breaking as this all is (and both Washington and Hulce give outstanding performances in this episode), there is one moment where Dr. Westphall makes a reference to a “Lt. Gerard,” who is searching for John’s parents. It seems like a throw-away reference, unless you’re familiar with either the 1950s television show The Fugitive or the subsequent 1993 film adaptation. Lt. Gerard was the name of the detective who was hunting for that show’s main character, Dr. Richard Kimble. Ed Flanders delivers the line solemnly and it occurs at a serious moment. There’s no winking at the audience. Instead, it’s simply a reward for the pop culture-literate who might be watching the episode.

For the most part, this was a grim episode. After losing a patient to cancer, Dr. Peter White was ordered to talk his family into signing a release for an autopsy. The autopsy was largely to protect the hospital from getting sued. The family didn’t want an autopsy. Peter didn’t feel the autopsy was necessary. But, having been bullied by his superiors, Peter proceeded to bully and manipulate the dead man’s son into signing the release. In the end, it turned out that Peter was correct. The man did die of cancer. The autopsy was not necessary. Upset over the whole process, Peter said that he felt like he had “raped” a mourning family. The doctor who ordered Peter to get the release merely smiled and said he would see Peter at rounds the next day.

Meanwhile, Dr. Craig was shocked and angered when he discovered that his old friend (played by Andy Romano) had checked into the hospital for gender-affirming surgery. This led to the episode final scene, in which Craig talked about not liking the way the world had changed since he was a young man. The scene was well-acted by William Daniels, who was one of the best when it comes to giving a monologue of frustration.

And finally, Dr. Samuels and Dr. Paxson disagreed on how to treat a patient and this storyline would have been interesting if either Samuels or Paxson had been an interesting character. But they’re not. I don’t care about them. I don’t care about their boring relationship. And, knowing that neither is going to be around once this season ends, I really didn’t care that much about their storyline. With all of the interesting stuff that happened in this episode, I groaned whenever I realized I was going to waste a few minutes watching Samuels and Paxson argue.

This episode left me feeling pretty depressed. Between Peter bullying that family and John Doe searching for his identity, there wasn’t much hope to be found. Still, I have faith that John Doe will find his identity and maybe Peter will even become a better doctor. (He certainly can’t get much worse.) If Lt. Gerard could find Richard Kimble, then anything’s possible!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 2/2/25 — 2/8/25

Posted on February 8, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here’s a few thoughts on what I watched this week.

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

I’m one episode behind as far as Abbott goes. This week, I watched the golf course episode but I still need to watch the science fair episode. I’ll do it tomorrow before the Super Bowl. As always, the episode made me laugh. The show has done marginally better with the gentrification subplot than it did with the charter school storyline a few seasons ago.

Dark (Netflix)

Case and I continuing to watch this creepy German show. This is the only show I’ve ever seen that’s actually held my attention while the characters discuss physics.

Hell’s Kitchen (Fox, Thursday Night)

And we have a winner! Kyle’s door open and he is the latest chef to win a season of Hell’s Kitchen. I did like Kyle but I have to admit that I lost interest in this season after both Brandon and Egypt were eliminated. I still can’t see Kyle as a head chef. Brandon had a bad night and Egypt lost an arbitrary contest but I still feel like either one of them would have been a better winner. That said, anyone who has ever tasted my cooking knows that I wouldn’t have even made it past the first 10 minutes of the first episode of Hell’s Kitchen. Congratulations to Kyle on his victory and on proving people like me, who were pretty dismissive of his chances at first, wrong.

King of the Hill (Hulu)

I watched the episode where Bill’s touchdown record was broken and, with Hank’s encouragement, Bill rejoined the high school team in an effort to win it back. “You the man, Bill …. don’t look down at your leg.”

Kitchen Nightmares (Fox, Tuesday Night)

Chef Ramsay was, again, in New Orleans this week. The New Orleans shows have been kind of boring. None of the restaurants have really been that appealing, either before or after their makeover. You have to wonder how many times Chef Ramsay is going to have to invite an ex-football player to come and convince people to do their job. It’s kind of funny how the only thing many of these restaurants really need is for a former member of the Saints to show up for five minutes.

After being bored with the trip to New Orleans, I hopped on Tubi and revisited the Amy’s Baking Company episodes from seasons 6 and 7. Now that was classic Ramsay chaos! I like it when Chef Ramsay is nice to the chefs on Hell’s Kitchen but, when it comes to Kitchen Nightmares, I just want him to rip the place apart!

Scamanda (Hulu)

On Wednesday, I watched the first episode of this NBC docuseries about a woman who pretended to have cancer and who swindled a lot of people out of a lot of money. It was an interesting episode. People pretending to be sick to get money from people is hardly a new phenomena but it was interesting to see not only how far Amanda took it but also how gullible people really were. (They really wanted to believe.) The film did have a few regrettable reenactments, including a truly risible one of a bunch of churchgoers literally throwing money at Amanda’s feet. Still, it’s an interesting story.

Watched and reviewed:

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.11 “Graveyard”

Posted on February 7, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, a handful of doctors save two patients and lose one.

Episode 1.11 “Graveyard”

(Dir by Victor Lobl, originally aired on January 18th, 1983)

It’s the graveyard shift at St. Eligius. The halls and the cafeteria are dark. The ER is oddly calm. There are only a few patients to be looked after and most of the doctors are playing poker and talking about the rather boring subject of Dr. Samuels’s love life.

Only a handful of the series regulars make an appearance in this episode but that’s fine. This episode actually provides a nice break from having to keep track of where everyone is. Unfortunately, as I already said, a lot of this episode is centered around the character of Dr. Samuels. Nothing against the late David Birney, who did a perfectly acceptable job in the role, but Dr. Ben Samuels is just not that interesting of a character. He’s a dedicated surgeon who feels too much, drinks too much, and wants to sleep with his colleagues. That’s fine but I grew up watching General Hospital. I’ve seen a hundred doctors just like Samuels on television.

To me, the far more interesting characters are the people like David Morse’s Jack Morrison or Ed Begley, Jr’s Victor Ehrlich or even Terence Knox’s Peter White. They’re doctors who screw up and aren’t always brilliant and sometimes say the wrong things. They feel like real people whereas Dr. Samuels just feels like a cliche, a holdover from some other medical show. Samuels is not a particularly compelling character and, when I did some research, I was not surprised to discover that David Birney only appeared on one season of the show.

G.W. Bailey’s Hugh Beale also only appeared in the first season and that’s a shame because Bailey’s performance as Beale has been one of the first season’s real pleasures. Bailey plays Beale as a compassionate man who often pretends to be more naive than he is. As a Southerner, he’s an outsider on this Boston-set show and, being an outsider, he can often relate to the patients in the psych ward. Of course, that still doesn’t stop Dr. Beale’s main patient, Ralph the Birdman, from throwing himself off the roof of the hospital in this episode. To be honest, I already suspected things weren’t going to go well for Ralph on this show but his suicidal jump still upset me. As annoying as the character was, he was also finally making some progress. He finally admitted he wasn’t a bird. And then he proved it by showing that he couldn’t fly.

While Ralph plunged to his death, Dr. Samuels saved a gunshot victim (played by Tom Hulce). And Jack allowed the father (James Hong) of one of his comatose patients to perform a Chinese ritual that led to the patient waking up and eventually walking into the cafeteria, where the doctors were playing poker. “Who ordered the Chinese?” Fiscus asked and …. ugh. Not cool, Fiscus.

It was a night of triumph and tragedy. Ralph died but Dr. Samuels and Dr. Paxton agreed to give their relationship another try which …. eh. I don’t care about Samuels and Paxton. For the most part, though, I liked this episode. The smaller cast made it easier to keep track of things and the poker game banter reminded me that the doctors are all people too. Still, I have to feel bad for Ralph. All he wanted to do was fly.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/26/25 — 2/1/25

Posted on February 1, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

My sinuses were really bothering me this week so I didn’t watch much, other than the shows that I review for this site. I mean, it was literally a struggle for me to look at a screen, whether it my phone, a laptop, or a television for more than a few minutes without getting a headache.

I did watch two more episodes of Dark with Case. This intriguing German show gets more and more creepy with each episode.

On Sunday, Jeff and I watched a football game. It was Taylor Swift’s team vs someone else. Taylor Swift won.

I watched Kitchen Nightmares. This week’s restaurant was boring. I’m hoping for another Amy’s Baking Company style fiasco.

And I watched Hell’s Kitchen. Really? They eliminated Egypt? First Brandon and then Egypt? Weakest final two ever!

Finally, I watched and reviewed Miami Vice, CHiPs, Fantasy Island, Pacific Blue, The Love Boat, Monsters, Malibu CA, Highway to Heaven, St. Elsewhere, Friday the 13th, Welcome Back Kotter, and Check It Out!

And that’s it, thanks to my sinuses. Bleh!

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.9 “Hearts”

Posted on January 31, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Dr. Ehrlich faints!

Episode 1.9 “Hearts”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on January 11th, 1983)

Ralph, the guy who thinks that he’s a bird, is now running around the hospital and checking in on patients and signing his name as “Dr. Bullfinch.” I guess it says something about how big St. Elgius is that Dr. Chandler spends most of this episode asking people if they’ve ever heard of or met Dr. Bullfinch. The show plays this for humor. There’s only two problems.

First off, we’ve already done the fake doctor thing. Dr. Craig spent three episodes searching for Dr. Barnum, the fictional doctor who Mark thought was interested in buying his car. Since Chandler was a part of that whole practical joke, it surprised me that it didn’t occur to him that maybe Dr. Bullfinch also didn’t exist.

Secondly, Ralph is one of those character who was amusing at first but, after episode-after-episode of him disrupting the hospital and making the patients uncomfortable, I can’t help but feel that it’s time for Ralph to at least try to fly off into the sunset, even if it leads to him crashing to the pavement below. Dr. Westphall tells Dr. Beale to keep Ralph locked up in the psych ward or else Westphall will send Ralph to a mental hospital. I think Westphall should have just gone for it. I mean, does Westphall not realize the legal jeopardy that the hospital is now in because of Ralph’s continued presence?

While that was going on, an overweight woman (Conchata Ferrell) checked into the hospital with stomach pains and was shocked to discover that she was pregnant and going into labor. This was a heartbreaking story, largely due to the wonderful performance of Conchata Ferrell. No one — from her father to the nurses at the hospital — has ever treated her with any sort of compassion. In the end, she checks out of the hospital and abandons her baby in the maternity ward.

A new doctor (Dorothy Fielding) came to work at St. Eligius and — hey! — she has a romantic history with Dr. Samuels. *Yawn* Samuels is the most boring character on the show and I tuned out this storyline as soon as I realized he was going to be at the center of it.

Newly separated from his wife, Dr. White is having a nervous breakdown and has to abandon a patient so that he can cry in the stairwell. Dr. Westphall offers him some heartfelt advice but you can tell that Westphall thinks that White doesn’t have what it takes to be a doctor. I think Westphall is right.

Finally, an ill Dr. Erhlich tries to get out of assisting Dr. Craig with an operation. Craig tells Erhlich to man up. Erhlich faints during the operation. Surprisingly, Dr. Craig is not angry with Ehrlich because, as he explains it, the important thing is that the operation was a success. Seeing how sick Ehrlich has become, Craig tells Ehrlich to go home and get some rest.

“Do you have a car?” Dr. Craig asks.

“No, I usually ride the bus,” Ehrlich replies.

“Good,” Craig says, “you shouldn’t be driving in your condition.”

And I have to admit that exchange made me laugh. William Daniels gives such a good performance as the arrogant yet talented Dr. Craig that you can’t help but love the guy, no matter how much of a jerk he is. After knowing him best as the always compassionate Mr. Feeney on Boy Meets World, it’s been interesting to watch William Daniels play a character as thoroughly self-centered and vain as Dr. Craig. On the drama St. Elsewhere, William Daniels often provides some much-needed comedic relief. On the (very silly) sitcom Boy Meets World, Daniels was the dramatic relief. It’s a strange world.

This episode had a few too many plotlines that I either didn’t care about or which felt a bit played out (like Ralph the Birdman). It wasn’t St. Elsewhere at its best but William Daniels and Conchata Ferrell still saved the episode.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/19/25 — 1/25/25

Posted on January 25, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here are just a few (admittedly, very few) thoughts on what I watched this week!

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

Unlike the characters in Abbott Elementary, I’m not a fan of the American Labor Movement but I still enjoyed this week’s episode about a bus strike. The remote learning stuff was definitely the highlight of the episodes.

Dark (Netflix)

Case and I are continuing to watch this German show on Netflix. It’s a very intriguing saga of time travel and murder.

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, Fox)

Without Brandon in the competition, who cares? It seems kind of obvious that Egypt’s going to win.

Kitchen Nightmares (Tuesday Night, Fox)

Chef Ramsay saved another restaurant in New Orleans. That’s good and all but I still wouldn’t want to eat anywhere that’s been featured on Kitchen Nightmares. Once a mess, always a mess. At least, that’s the way that I view things as far as food preparation is concerned.

The Oscar Nominations (Thursday Morning, Hulu)

The nominations didn’t do much for me this year. Honestly, I have to wonder how long it’s going to be until ABC dumps the Oscars and the ceremony is reduced to just streaming on Hulu. It’s going to happen sooner or later.

The Presidential Inauguration (Monday, C-Span)

I’m thankful for C-Span. I was able to watch the whole thing without any commentary for either side.

I also watched and reviewed:

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.9 “Rain”

Posted on January 24, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, a famous face shows up in the ER!

Episode 1.9 “Rain”

(Dir by Victor Hsu, originally aired on January 3rd, 1983)

Last night, after writing my review of Goodfellas, I watched the ninth episode of St. Elsewhere and there was Ray Liotta!

Liotta played Murray, a young man who came into the ER with a deep cut on his back. Orderly Luther took one look at him and decided that he was a member of the same gang who mugged Fiscus a few episodes ago. Luther then told Fiscus right before Fiscus was due to stitch Murray up. Murray was indeed rude but Fiscus wasn’t particularly polite to him. Fiscus didn’t stich up Murray’s wound but he did pull his gun on him. Murray fled the ER and, after knocking over several doctors who were in his way, he jumped out of a window and escaped from St. Eligius.

As for Fiscus, he got a stern talking to from Dr. Westphall. Westphall ordered Fiscus to get rid of the gun and told him that if he ever brought a weapon to work again, his residency would come to an end. Fiscus agreed to not bring the gun to the ER anymore but he later told Dr. Chandler that he was terrified for his life. I’ve been critical of Howie Mandel’s performance on this show but he actually did a pretty good job in this episode. He was able to hold his own while sharing the screen with Denzel Washington. That’s quite an accomplishment.

While Dr. Westphall yelled at Fiscus, Dr. Craig yelled at Ehrlich for spraining his pinkie while playing handball. Dr. Craig demands to know how Ehrlich will ever make it as a surgeon if he doesn’t protect his hands. Ehrlich spends the entire day trying to protect his hands and he continually fails. (Ehrlich’s a bit of a klutz.) Finally, Ehrlich storms into Craig’s office and interrupts a meeting to announce that he’s going to continue to play handball. Craig shrugs and dismissively says, “He’s from California.”

As for the rest of this episode, it took place over one very long and rainy day. Peter is still struggling as both a doctor and a husband. When his daughter (a very young Candace Cameron Bure) was rushed to the hospital after eating mothballs, Peter blamed his wife and his wife blamed Peter. Returning home from the hospital, Peter nearly hit his wife after she tossed his dinner on the floor. It was scary to watch. I’m getting a bad feeling about what’s going to happen with this marriage.

Dr. Morrison made the mistake of making a house call and soon, he discovered himself constantly being called by Mr. Lukovic (George Morfogen) whenever any of Lukovic’s neighbors were taken ill. Morrison kept telling Lukovic to take his friends to the hospital but Lukovic talked about how, in the past, doctors would always make house calls. When Morrison finally refused to go to Lukovic’s building, Lukovic brought his neighbor to the hospital. The neighbor was in cardiac arrest but Morrison managed to get his heart beating again. Rather than be thankful, Lukovic blamed Morrison for not responding to his call. Morrison lost his temper and told Lukovic that he couldn’t keep living in the past. “I will not call you again,” Lukovic replied. Roll the end credits!

This was a pretty good episode, one that not only answered the question of why doctors don’t make housecalls but also which featured Ray Liotta being tough and dangerous. There were a few annoying scenes involving the guy who thinks that he’s a bird but otherwise, this was a well-done and rainy hour.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.8 “Tweety and Ralph”

Posted on January 17, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Oddly enough, this week’s episode is not available on Hulu. I had to purchase it on Prime. I’m not really sure why this episode — and apparently this episode alone — wouldn’t be on Hulu. The world of Streaming is a strange and arbitrary place.

Episode 1.8 “Tweety and Ralph”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on December 20th, 1982)

Dr. Craig is still trying to track down the mysterious Dr. Barnum, the man who says that he’s interested in Craig’s convertible. Dr. Craig is constantly getting messages from Barnum. He’s constantly hearing Barnum being paged on the PA. Craig has become obsessed with tracking down the elusive Dr. Barnum.

Of course, Dr. Barnum does not exist. What started as a practical joke on the part of Dr. Samuels has grown into a hospital-wide conspiracy of people playing with the emotions of the pompous and prickly Dr. Craig. Craig is so obsessed with selling his car that he even cuts his hand while working on the engine. Finally, Dr. Craig’s wife, Ellen (played by William Daniels’s real-life wife, Bonnie Bartlett), confronts Samuels and tells him that she knows what he’s doing. When Samuels hears that Craig cut his hand, he feels guilty. He knows how important a surgeon’s hands are. Samuels finally works up the courage to tell Craig the truth. Craig laughs. And then he punches out Dr. Samuels.

And you know what? Dr. Samuels totally deserved it. Good for you, Dr. Craig!

(Everyone seems to have forgiven Dr. Samuels for causing a VD break-out during the pilot. They’re very forgiving at St. Eligius.)

Meanwhile, the Legionnaire’s outbreak is finally contained, with the culprit being one dirty shower head. Ward 5 is re-opened! Yay! Dr. Westphall celebrates his victory but still comes across as being the most depressed man on the planet. While that goes on, Dr. Fiscus reveals that he now carries a gun so he won’t get mugged in the ER again and Dr. Cavanero considers her decision to devote her life to her career when a friend check into the hospital for hysterectomy.

That said, the majority of the episode centered around Ralph (Richard Marcus) and Jane (Laraine Newman), two psychiatric patients. Jane is pregnant and Ralph is the father. Ralph is a genius who graduated at the top of his class from MIT and who invented his own personal computer. Unfortunately, he also thinks that he’s a bird and has been stealing medical supplies to build a giant nest in one of the supply closets. Jane wants to marry Ralph but, when she and Ralph go out to dinner with Dr. Beale, Jane can only watch in horror as Ralph panics at the sight of a cat. “Caw! Caw!” Ralph shouts as he jumps up on a chair. The cat, for its part, just looks confused.

In other words, the marriage is off. Jane tells Ralph that she’ll always love him but that she can’t be with him anymore. The episode ends with a close-up of Ralph intensely staring at the camera. Uh-oh, that doesn’t look good….

This was a weird but ultimately effective episode. I really shouldn’t have been as emotionally moved as I was by Ralph and Jane’s story. Ralph’s behavior was more than a little cartoonish. But, I have to admit that I felt really sad as Jane said goodbye to Ralph. Richard Marcus and Laraine Newman did such a good job playing the characters that I couldn’t help but be sad that things weren’t working out for them.

Oh well. I guess that’s just another day at St. Eligius….