Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 1.13 “Super Bull Sunday”

Posted on October 8, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, season one comes to an end with the Championship Game!

Episode 1.13 “Super Bull Sunday”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on February 17th, 1985)

The Bulls make it to the Championship Game!

And lose!

In fact, they lose in spectacular fashion. We don’t actually see much of the game but we do see the aftermath. We learn that star running back Carl Witherspoon set a record for fumbles. Star quarterback Bob Dorsey set a record for interceptions. The offensive line set a record for letting their quarterback get sacked. Coach Denardo blames himself but Diana announces to the press that the Bull will be back next year so …. “LOOK OUT!”

Admittedly, the big game only took up about 5 and a half minutes of screentime. Most of this episode centered around a dumb plot to trick Diana into selling the Bulls to the Japanese so that her ex-husband (remember him?) could swoop in and buy back his team. It was a pretty dumb plan that fell apart easily but, at the very least, it appears that it finally led to Diana firing her duplicitous general manager, Roger Barrow (Clayton Landey), something she should have done at the start of the season.

But let’s give the show some credit. It would have been really easy to just have the Bulls pull off another last-minute victory. Instead, season one ended with the agony of defeat and the actors actually did a really good job of playing up their depression. It can’t be easy make it to the Championship Game and fail.

So, that’s it for season one. It wasn’t really that good of a season but maybe I would feel differently if I was a football fan or if I was a dude. This is very much a guy-centered show. Next week, we’ll start season 2!

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 1.12 “Not Quite Mr. Right”

Posted on October 1, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Is this season over yet?

Episode 1.12 “Not Quite Mr. Right”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on February 10th, 1985)

The Bulls are going to the “Championship Game!”

They should be getting ready for the game but instead, everyone’s distracted.

Wide receiver Mace Petty (Marshall R. Teague) has been cast in a movie where he will be co-starring with his favorite actor, Larry the Wonder Dog.

Diana is distracted when a former lover (Dennis Holohan) shows up and starts acting like he wants to get back together.

Denardo is distracted by the networks wanting to mic him up during the big game. Everyone agrees that Denardo curses too much to wear a microphone. Since this episode was edited for syndication, we don’t actually heard Denardo curse but we are assured that he does it.

This episode sucked. Right when the football part of the show finally starts to get interesting, 1st & Ten does an episode that takes everyone off the field. Now, I will add one caveat. On Tubi, it appears that they are largely using episodes that were edited for syndication. As a result, there was so pretty obvious dubbing (especially where Denardo was concerned) and some pretty abrupt jump cuts. So, it’s totally possible that the HBO version of this episode might have been a masterpiece. I doubt it, though.

Next week …. it’s not the Super Bowl. It’s the Championship Game!

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 1.11 “Rona’s Fling”

Posted on September 24, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the Bulls try to keep their season alive.

Episode 1.11 “Rona’s Fling”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on February 3rd, 1985)

Rona (Ruta Lee) has been Diane’s best friend and biggest supporter since she first appeared during 1st & Ten’s pilot. And yet I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned her in any of my review because her character just wasn’t that interesting. She was a sarcastic society maven who was always drinking. She was a bit of a sitcom cliche and I didn’t really see any need to waste a lot time on her character.

This episode, however, opens with Rona getting out of rehab. She’s stopped drinking! And she’s also met a guy, a fellow alcoholic. Tim (Will Bledsoe) is a young and handsome and he and Rona have great sex. Tim is also the Bulls’s new punter! With Tim on the team, the Bulls are guaranteed to make it to the playoffs! (I never knew punters were so important.)

Meanwhile, the Arcola Brothers are also determined to make sure the Bulls make it to the playoffs. They bribe a referee.

The referee, however, is knocked out early in the game when two plays collide with him. However, the Bulls win the game on their own, no doubt thanks to Tim and his amazing punting abilities! Rona would be happy except she’s recently learned that Tim is married. Tim was separated when he went into rehab but, once he got out, his wife fell in love with him all over again.

And that’s pretty much the episode. It wasn’t a bad episode, even if the whole thing with the referee felt a bit anti-climatic. Ruta Lee gave a good performance as Rona and I appreciated the fact that she was still sober at the end of the episode. And, hey ….. The Bulls are going to the playoffs!

Thank God for the kicking team, I guess.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 1.10 “Wine Time”

Posted on September 17, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, it’s hard to win a game when you’re star players are in jail.

Episode 1.10 “Wine Time”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on January 27th, 1985)

When the Bulls are cheated by a fake vineyard owner named Jacques St. George (Peter Elbling), Bubba and Jethro (Cliff Frazier) end up in prison for attacking him. Jethro is surprised to discover that their cellmate is an old friend of his named Mike (Eddie Bell). Mike wears a long blonde wig and a dress. Jethro doesn’t know what to make of it. Mike explains that he likes “dressing like this” and says it’s no different from how much Jethro enjoys playing football.

Meanwhile, Diane is desperate to get Bubba and Jethro out of jail in time for their next game. She even goes to Arcola Brothers for help but, in the end, she decides that she can’t compromise her morals by accepting favors from gangsters. The team plays with Jethro and Bubba. The team loses.

Meanwhile, Dr. Death (Donald Gibb) and Otis (Tiny Lister), two defensive backs, go to the hospital and threaten to toss Jacques out of a window until he agrees to drop the charges.

This episode actually had a few amusing moments, mostly due to the performances of Gibb and Lister. I appreciated the fact that the team lost the game as opposed to pulling off some sort of last minute miracle. Diane refused to compromise her principles and that’s a good thing. But her solution was still basically to allow Dr. Death and Otis to threaten to kill a guy. This episode sent some very mixed messages.

I will say this. Michael V. Gazzo’s performance as Sal Arcola is one of the few things that I consistently enjoy about this show. A playwright, Gazzo had a pretty good side career going as a movie and television mobster. He’ll always be best remembered for playing Frankie in The Godfather, Part II. 1st & Ten is no Godfather but Gazzo is always entertaining.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & 10 1.8 “The Sins of the Quarterback”

Posted on September 3, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Bryce Smith finally takes the field!

Episode 1.8 “The Sins of the Quarterback”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on January 13th, 1985)

During a game against the — oh come on! — Atlanta Confederates, Bob Dorsey is sacked and knocked unconscious. Ultra-religious backup quarterback Bryce Smith (Jeff East) is sent in to replace him. Bryce throws an amazing pass across the entire field that is somewhat caught for a touchdown. The Bulls win!

The defensive players celebrate by grabbing Bryce forcing liquor down his throat. Bryce is a Mormon and a graduate of BYU. Bryce gets drunk easily. After the rest of the players leave the locker room, a barely coherent Bryce is approached by cheerleader Tammy Baker (Pamela Jean Bryant) who says that she is God’s gift to him. The scene ends rather abruptly, I assume because this episode was heavily edited for syndication.

A week later, an excited Tammy approaches Bryce at a roast honoring the team. She tells him that she’s pregnant! She’s super-excited! Bryce, however, is shaken and — after a fantasy sequence set in the Garden of Eden — Bryce announces that he is retiring from football and going to Tibet to become a monk. Why would a Mormon go to Tibet to become a monk?

Well, I guess the team is screwed! Bob Dorsey still isn’t ready to come back and the third-string quarterback can barely throw the ball. However, Bryce’s wife comes to the rescue. She forgives Bryce for cheating and she also invites Tammy to come live with them. Bryce can continue to play football!

Denardo, however, doubts that Bryce is the one who impregnated Tammy. He demands that every other player who had sex with Tammy raise their hand. Nearly every hand in the locker room goes up. Bryce worries that everyone is going to have to move in with him and his wife….

Okay, then! It’s hard to review this episode because, again, it’s obvious that the racy, original episode (the one that aired on HBO) was heavily edited for syndication. The version that I saw featured a lot of abrupt jump cuts. The story itself was fairly dumb but that’s kind of a given when it comes to this show. I’ll give some credit to Jeff East. He was far better than the material he had to work with.

Myself, I’m just amazed that this show featured a team called the Atlanta Confederates. I’m going to assume that team eventually changed their name.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 1.7 “Uneasy Lies The Head”

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Coach Denardo has a bad dream and put the future of the Bulls in jeopardy.

Episode 1.7 “Uneasy Lies The Head”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on January 6th, 1985)

After having a nightmare in which the members of the Bulls all appear as parts of his failing body and a demonic linebacker (Donald Gibb) and a saintly quarterback (Jeff East) tell him that he has to decide whether he wants to go to Heaven or Hell, Coach Denardo fears that his time is up.

At the next game, Denardo is distracted. He calls the last time out, not realizing that he doesn’t have any left. The clocks runs out while the Bulls are trying to get set up for field goal. “Time out! Time out!” Denardo yells. “You have no time left, coach,” the referee replies, which is maybe not the best way to speak to a man recovering from a heart attack. As for the game, it’s a humiliating loss. Denardo says that he might have to retire….

Yeah, that sounds about right. I don’t know much about football but I can tell that Denardo made a lot of mistakes in the course of just two minutes. Get that old man out there! Heck, just let Diane coach like she did last week….

Diane decides to trick Denardo into staying. She rolls a really old computer out during practice and lets it call the plays. Denardo gets angry. No machine is going to replace Ernie Denardo!

Meanwhile, Bubba (Prince Hughes) upsets his mother-in-law.

Seriously, that’s the entire episode. That’s all that happens. I know it doesn’t sound like much but what can I tell you? I sat through this and spent the whole time wondering when the episode’s actual story was going to start and it really didn’t. Denardo had a bad dream. Bubba upset his mother-in-law. That’s it.

This episode was forgettable. Diane should have fired Denardo after that loss. I fear the Bulls aren’t going to make it to whatever this show’s version of the Super Bowl is.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 1.6 “You Are Who You Eat”

Posted on August 20, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Diana makes history!

Episode 1.6 “You Are Who You Eat”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on December 30th, 1984)

Coach Denardo has a heart attack and is laid up in the hospital. It looks like Diane is going to have to coach the team!

Wait? What?

Listen, I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know a lot about football but I do know that there is such a thing as an assistant coach. And there’s also coordinators. There’s a lot of coordinators and a lot of assistants and I imagine that a part of their job entails coaching whenever the head coach is in the hospital. So, I’m not really sure how this episode went from “Coach Denardo can’t coach this weekend” to “The owner is going to have to do it!”

Still, Diana ends up on the sidelines as the “first female head coach in history!” I remember that a few Super Bowls ago, they made a big deal about one of the teams having a female assistant coach and I was like, “Well, they better win or they’re never going to hire another woman.” I think the team lost. I don’t really follow football.

Anyway, Coach Denardo is on the phone with Diana for most of the game but, towards the end of the game, the connection goes down. Denardo runs out of his hospital in his hospital gown and takes a taxi to the stadium. Luckily, even without his help, Diana knew exactly which play to call and the Bulls win another game.

Yay, I guess. This episode was pretty dumb. If I was coaching a football team, I would just be like, “Have that guy run to the touchdown area and then throw him the ball.” I think we would win easily.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 1.5 “Play Me Or Trade Me”

Posted on August 13, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, an injury leads to the promise of sex …. or does it?

Episode 1.5 “Play Me Or Trade Me”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on December 23rd, 1984)

Carl Whitherspoon, the star running back who is always demanding more money, is injured while filming a commercial for a rental car company. (“Call OJ,” the commercial’s director says when it becomes obvious that Carl won’t be able to jump over any more luggage.) The Bulls are struggling and Coach Denardo wants a championship but his star player is out for four weeks!

It’s time to trade! Unfortunately, the only way that the Bulls are going to be able to get the running back they want is by trading their aging quarterback, Bob Dorsey. Dana is upset about losing Bob but then she realizes she can finally have sex with him if he’s no longer a Bull and she decides that she’s okay with the trade.

But then the running back that the Bulls were hoping to trade for is injured so the trade is called off. So, Dana can’t have sex with Bob. But Bob still leads the team to victory. Actually, the team wins because Bubba (Prince Hughes) blocks a field goal with his oversized ass. (That’s not me being rude. Bubba’s weight and the size of his ass is a running theme on this show.) The Bulls are now 5-3 and I guess they don’t need a running back after all.

The main theme of this episode seemed to be that Dana needs to get laid. I liked the chemistry between Delta Burke and Geoffrey Scott. And the scene where Carl injured himself made me laugh just because of Sam Scarber’s over-the-top facial expressions as he crashed into a table. Otherwise, this episode was pretty forgettable.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 7.5 “Roarke’s Sacrifice/The Butler’s Affair”

Posted on August 12, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, Roarke is haunted by a past love.

Episode 7.5 “Roarke’s Sacrifice/The Butler’s Affair”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on November 12th, 1983)

This is an odd episode. Both of the stories deal with love. In one of them, Lee Meriwether plays a woman who is in love with her butler, Efrem Zimbalist, Jr. She comes to Fantasy Island with a group of friends, all of whom are very judgmental about the idea of Meriwether dating a member of the help. Mr. Roarke deals with the situation by threatening to reveal all of their secrets. He explains that he does a thorough background check on everyone who comes to Fantasy Island. I’m not sure if I buy that because some really bad folks have come to the Island. Anyway, this story ends with Zimbalist starting to loosen up and Meriwether saying that she was going to continue to train him to be her boyfriend once they returned to the mainland. I’m not sure if this is so much a love story as much as it’s a “I want to have sex with someone who I pay so they can’t ever say no” story.

The other story is a bit more interesting. Julie Mars (Cyd Charisse, who I adore) is a dancer who walks with a cane. It turns out that she and Roarke have been in love for years and the implication is that Roarke spent time with her off of the Island. This is really a big deal. It goes against everything that has always been implied about Roarke in the past. Roarke never leaves the Island, that’s what we believed. It turns out we were wrong. He’s not only left the Island before but he’s fallen in love. Julie’s fantasy is to be able to dance again. Roarke grants her fantasy and Edmond Rome (Cesar Romero) wants to puts her in a show. Roarke knows that the only way Julie can continue to dance is if she forgets the love that she has for Roarke. That doesn’t quite make sense but Roarke just goes with it. She leaves the Island, acting as if Roarke is just a friendly acquaintance as opposed to being the love of her life.

That was sad! What made it especially sad is that Roarke doesn’t really have anyone to talk about all of this. Tattoo was close enough to being an equal that Roarke could open up to him. Lawrence is just a butler. Some people confide in their butler. Some people — as seen in this very episode — fall in love with their butler. Roarke, however, is lost without Tattoo.

Poor Roarke!

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 1.4 “The Slump”

Posted on August 6, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, cocaine comes to the locker room. Actually, cocaine was probably already there. Now, there’s more cocaine. Football, right?

Anyway….

Episode 1.4 “The Slump”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on December 16th, 1984)

This week’s episode starts off with some full front nudity as wide receiver Mace Petty (Marshall R. Teague) takes a shower with a blonde woman. Suddenly, a bearded man steps into the shower, accuses Mace of seducing his wife, and points a gun at him. OH MY GOD, IS MACE GOING TO DIE!? (And who is Mace, anyway?)

Oh wait, it’s a prop gun. Ha ha, it’s practical joke. Those crazy Bulls.

With the required HBO nudity out of the way, the plot kicks off. The Bulls are in a slump. They’ve lost their past two games! In order to turn things around, Diane makes a trade for a talented wide receiver. (Ha! TAKE THAT, MACE!) Butch Cassidy (Michael Toland) may be a good athlete but guess who has a cocaine addiction!? Butch is soon snorting in the men’s room. When he has to take a drug test, he uses a groupie’s urine instead. When the results come back, it’s announced that Butch is pregnant. Butch is kicked off the team. Maybe the Sundance Kid can take his place….

The good news is that The Bulls still win their next game, breaking the slump. And Bob Dorsey earns Diana’s trust by telling her that Butch has a drug problem. And the Arcola Brothers attempt to keep the Bulls from serving beer at the stadium is thwarted when Diana has a bunch of helicopter fly in the beer. (That way, no one has to cross the picket line that the Arcolas have set up outside the stadium.) Finally, Carl Witherspoon gets a new contract and the rest of the team gets jealous because Carl is now a “millionaire” but then Carl points out that he’s a terrible negotiator and he actually got screwed over on the contract. He then agrees to take the team to Hawaii. No wonder they won that game!

This episode was actually better than the previous three. That doesn’t mean it was particularly good but still it wasn’t terrible. (And that’s what we mean by “damning by faint praise.”) If nothing else, Michael Toland gave a good performance as the cocky but self-destructive Butch Cassidy. I also kind of like the chemistry between Geoffrey Scott and Delta Burke. They’re good together. As far as episodes of bad shows go, this was a good one.