Brad reviews OVERBOARD (1987), starring Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn!


Spoiled heiress Joanna Stayton (Goldie Hawn) hires carpenter Dean Proffitt (Kurt Russell) to remodel a closet on her yacht. Unsatisfied with his work and completely unreasonable about everything, she refuses to pay him and when he presses her for the $600, she pushes him and all of his tools overboard. Needless to say, the lady’s a “bitch” (Dean’s word) and nobody can stand her, including her husband, Grant Stayton III (Edward Herrman), and their butler Andrew (Roddy McDowell). And then something interesting happens a few days later… Joanna accidentally falls off her yacht, and when she’s fished out of the ocean, she’s still difficult to deal with, but she doesn’t have a clue who she is. Unable to identity her, the hospital puts the “amnesia lady” on the news hoping someone will recognize her. Sensing a chance to get rid of the anchor around his neck, Grant Stayton III pretends he doesn’t know her and heads out of town. This is where Dean hatches up his own plot to get revenge. He heads to the hospital and through a series of happenstances and coincidences, he’s able to convince everyone, including Joanna, now dubbed as “Annie,” that she’s his wife. He takes her home with him and makes her take care of his four wild boys, cook their food, and clean his house. Dean figures she owes it to him. But wouldn’t you know it, even though “Annie” hates it at first, over time she begins to soften towards her new life, bonds with the boys, and some sparks of love start flying between her and Dean. When she unexpectedly gets her memory back, she has to decide whether to return to her life as a spoiled heiress or stay with the man and boys she’s grown to love.

I have a soft spot in my heart for OVERBOARD, because this is a movie that my mom and I both loved, and we watched it together many times in the late 80’s and early 90’s. My mom and I didn’t often have the same taste in movies, so this was kind of “our movie.” There are a couple of other notable favorites for both me and mom, and those movies are RUTHLESS PEOPLE (1986) and LETHAL WEAPON (1987). I guarantee if I called my mom right now, interrupted her Hallmark Christmas movies, and told her I was coming over with OVERBOARD, she’d say “Come on! I’ll get something together for you to eat!” That actually sounds like a pretty good idea!

Another reason I love OVERBOARD is the fact that it stars Kurt Russell. I became a big fan of Kurt Russell during my teenage years, as I was 14 when this movie came out. A couple of years earlier, Russell starred in the films THE BEST OF TIMES (1986) and BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA (1986), and a couple of years later he would make movies like TEQUILA SUNRISE (1988), TANGO & CASH (1989), and BACKDRAFT (1991). I wanted to watch every movie that Russell was in, and all of these films are staples of my VHS years and nostalgic favorites. In OVERBOARD, Russell starts off as a gruff, grudge-holder, but as he begins to fall for “Annie,” his natural charm and likability emerge, but so does a newfound guilt for lying to her and possibly even kidnapping her. One question for the lawyers out there, is it kidnapping when her husband had a chance to claim her and chose to abandon her instead? I’m not sure if it’s a felony or not, but I’m guessing there has to be something on the law books that doesn’t jive with what happens here. Anyway, I’ll just say that it’s best not to think of these types of pesky realities when judging this fairy tale and just go along for the ride.

Along with the Russell’s fun performance, Goldie Hawn is so perfect as the horrifically spoiled snob of an heiress who transforms into a caring substitute mother and the woman of Dean’s dreams. I know she’s great in the movie, because I can’t stand her at the beginning, but I find myself falling for her too as the movie progresses. I would not really call myself a fan of Goldie Hawn, because I haven’t spent much of my life revisiting her films, but I love her here. A couple in real life, the natural chemistry between Russell and Hawn sparkles as they fall in love on screen and only the most cold-hearted cynic isn’t pulling for them to live happily ever after as the movie closes in on its ending. As far as the supporting cast, Edward Herrmann, Katherine Helmond, Mike Hagerty, and Roddy McDowall all have good moments sprinkled throughout the film.

I do have one complaint about OVERBOARD, and that’s the “Wonders of the World Miniature Golf Course,” which is the dream business of Dean and his best friend Bad Billy Pratt (Mike Hagerty). As someone who grew up in the 70’s and 80’s playing miniature golf on the courses in Branson, MO, I would never want to play their course. Its design appears over-the-top and cheesy to me, the type of course where the scores on the holes would be determined as much by luck as by skill, which is something I find offensive. However, just like the potential kidnapping storyline, I’ve had to let my disdain for the quality of the course design go as well so I could enjoy that section of the film. I will admit this one is harder for me personally, and I still struggle with it.

Overall, OVERBOARD is not high art, and its premise is about as silly as it gets, but through a magical combination of personal 1980’s nostalgia, an appreciation for the chemistry of its stars, and a complete willingness to suspend my disbelief as we head towards an irresistibly happy ending, I still love this film. I watch it just about every year, especially if I need a pick me up as I hammer away at tax returns!

Quick Review: The Longest Day (dir. by Ken Annakin, Andrew Marton, and Bernhard Wicki)


Hey hey!! Before you read this, know that this isn’t the only review for The Longest Day. Lisa Marie also wrote about it. Read that first, and then double back here if you like.

With June 6th being the 81st Anniversary of D-Day, I decided to write about 1962’s The Longest Day, a film often discussed in my family, but surprisingly, I don’t recall ever fully watching it until today. I’ll try to get a hold of a hard copy of this in the future. The film is currently available to watch (with ads) on YouTube. This was a film my Aunt adored, as she liked seeing the Military come to the rescue in any situation (which happened often in most classic sci-fi films). This, They Died With Their Boots On, and All Quiet on the Western Front were films she raved about.

According to the National WWII Museum, “The Allies suffered over 10,300 total casualties (killed, wounded, or missing), of which approximately 2,400 were on Omaha Beach.” it was also an incredible offensive achievement, with nations gathering together to take the fight to a common enemy. 

I don’t have a whole lot to say about this. As this is a film based on actual events (which takes some movie related liberties), I can’t complain or state I loved the “story”. As my boss at my Dayjob sometimes says, “It is what it is.” In terms of presentation, however, I highly recommend it. The film never really falters, nor does it give you too much time to relax. There’s a quiet tension with all of the characters you meet (all of the Allied ones, anyway), wondering if they may make it through by the end. If nothing else, watching it reminds one of the sacrifices made and the courage of anyone deciding to run head first into battle like that. 

The film is epic in scope, with a runtime of 3 hours and an all star cast that includes Robert Mitchum (Cape Fear), Eddie Albert (Dreamscape), John Wayne (The Quiet Man), Henry Fonda (Once Upon a Time in the West) Curt Jurgens (The Spy Who Loved Me), Red Buttons and Roddy McDowall (who would later work together in The Poseidon Adventure), Richard Beymer (West Side Story), Frank Findlay (Lifeforce), Gert Frobe and Sean Connery (both two years shy of working together in Goldfinger), Richard Burton (Cleopatra) and Robert Ryan (The Wild Bunch) among others.

Much like 1970’s Tora!Tora!Tora! (which my Dad often talked about), there were multiple directors for The Longest Day. Bernhard Wiki captured the German scenes, Andrew Marton handled the American ones, and Ken Annakin handled both the English and French sequences. This is all brought together in a seamless and pretty amazing tapestry. Unlike Steven Spielberg’s Saving Private Ryan, The Longest Day only covers the time leading up to and through the Omaha Beach assault, using the bulk of the film’s 3rd hour for the event. The entire film makes wonderful use of the time with all the alternate views, and by the time the first combat starts near the start of the 2nd hour, it continues to flow from interaction to interaction. There are also some wonderful arial shots over the battles, including an classic one shot that’s pretty marvelous given the time period.

The film takes place just before the invasion. American troops are already in the water on boats. Others are ready to parachute in. The French are ready to fight, waiting for the right phrase to hit the radio to put them into action. all are waiting to hear from the Britians on when the Allied Assault should begin. The weather isn’t optimal, but with the operation already delayed once before, President Eisenhower (Henry Grace) decides the 6th is the drop date. The Germans assume nothing will happen assaults are supposedly not done in harsh weather, but this proves to be quite the mistake.

It was wonderful to see everything come together. From the French sabotaging communications, to the strange comedy of soldier toting bagpipes to lead the Scottish into battle, or the Nuns who walked right through battle to save lives, it’s quite a sight to behold. 

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.4 “The Angel’s Triangle/Natchez Bound”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, an angel comes to the Island.

Episode 6.4 “The Angel’s Triangle/Natchez Bound”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on November 6th, 1982)

Death takes a holiday!

Well, not literally.  The Angel of Death, Michael Eden (played by Gary Collins), does come to Fantasy Island but he’s working.  Years ago, he was meant to take soul of Catharine Harris (Carol Lynley), a woman who was in a car accident with her husband, Brent Harris (Doug McClure).  Michael could not bring himself to allow Catharine to die.  So, she miraculously survived.  But now, years later, Michael has been sent to collect the soul of Brent.  Brent and Catharine have come to Fantasy Island to have the honeymoon they missed out on due to the car accident.  Michael has come to make sure that the honeymoon is a tragic one.

Michael very much wants to take Brent’s soul.  If Brent’s dead than maybe Michael and Catharine could (somehow) be together.  But when Brent is taken ill and sent to the Fantasy Island hospital, Michael sees how much Catharine loves her husband.  And he allow Brent to live, which seems a bit unfair to …. well, like anyone.  Or at the very least, anyone who has ever died or lost a loved one.

The interesting thing about this fantasy was that it established that Roarke is apparently not an angel.  When Roarke introduces Tattoo to Michael, Roarke says that Michael “is not like us.”  This leads to a funny moment in which Tattoo, upon hearing that Michael is the angel of death, announces that he some work to catch up on.  I always like it when Tattoo gets to do more than just wave at the airplane.  As for the rest of this fantasy, it wasn’t bad.  Carol Lynley did a good job as Catharine.  Gary Collins was a bit stiff but it kind of worked for his character.  Doug McClure was as goofy as ever.

The other fantasy features Jennilee Harrison as Jenny Ryan, a Vegas card dealer who wants to work on a Mississippi steamboat.  She gets her wish and promptly gets involved with helping a writer named Samuel Clemens (Stephen Shortridge, a.k.a. Beau on Welcome Back Kotter) and a kid named Huck Finn (Adam Rich) hide an escaped slave (Sam Scarber) from a dastardly gambler and slave hunter (Roddy McDowall).  Did I mention that Clemens is having trouble coming up with a plot for his new book?  Jenny inspires Mark Twain, helps Jim get to safety, and returns to the present with a pet frog.  Sure, why not?  This storyline was predictable, largely because I read Huckleberry Finn in high school.  However, Stephen Shortridge was, somewhat surprisingly given his work on Kotter, perfectly charming as Mark Twain and Roddy McDowall obviously enjoyed hamming up his villainy.  (To be honest, when I saw Roddy’s name in the opening credits, I was hoping he’d be returning as Satan.)

This was not a bad episode, especially compared to the previous season 6 episodes.  Both fantasies held me attention and apparently, the Angel of Death will leave you alone if he thinks you’re cute.  That’s good to know!

#MondayMuggers – Why DIRTY MARY CRAZY LARRY?


Every Monday night at 9:00 Central Time, my wife Sierra and I host a “Live Movie Tweet” event on X using the hashtag #MondayMuggers. We rotate movie picks each week, and our tastes are quite different. Tonight, Monday December 16th, we’re watching DIRTY MARY CRAZY LARRY starring Peter Fonda, Susan George, Adam Roarke, and Vic Morrow.

So why did I pick DIRTY MARY CRAZY LARRY, you might ask?

  1. I love car chase stunt movies from the 1970’s! We featured WHITE LIGHTNING with Burt Reynolds on here a couple of years ago. This should be another good 70’s car chase movie for the group. I’ve never actually watched the film before today so I’m really looking forward to it.   
  2. I like the cast, especially Susan George. What’s strange is that Susan is in my least favorite Charles Bronson movie of all time, LOLA, but I don’t hold that against her at all. She’s just so beautiful, and with a filmography that includes STRAW DOGS, SONNY AND JED, MANDINGO, and ENTER THE NINJA, what’s not to love?!!
  3. I think it’s cool that Peter Fonda did most of his own driving in the film, often driving over 100 miles per hour. I respect actors who are capable of doing their own stunt work…Jackie Chan, Tom Cruise, and now Peter Fonda!
  4. Quentin Tarantino loves DIRTY MARY CRAZY LARRY! He selected the film for the first “Quentin Tarantino Film Fest” in Austin back in 1996. He also featured a clip from this movie in JACKIE BROWN. It makes it even cooler that the scene in JACKIE BROWN featured Bridget Fonda, Peter’s daughter! If Tarantino loves it, that’s enough for me!

So join us tonight to for #MondayMuggers and watch DIRTY MARY CRAZY LARRY! It’s on Amazon Prime.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.2 “The Devil and Mr. Roarke/Ziegfeld Girls/Kid Corey Rides Again”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming on Daily Motion, YouTube, Plex, and a host of other sites.

This week is a busy one as Mr. Roarke deals with several guests, a new assistant …. AND THE DEVIL!

Episode 5.2 “The Devil and Mr. Roarke/Ziegfeld Girls/Kid Corey Rides Again”

(Dir by Don Chaffey, originally aired on October 17th, 1981)

The plane lands at the Island, carrying four people in search of a fantasy.  Waiting to greet them are Mr. Roarke, Tattoo, and Julie.  After being told that she wasn’t ready to greet the guests last week, Julie has finally been promoted.  And if you thought that Mr. Roarke and Tattoo occasionally had an awkward chemistry, it’s nothing compared to how awkward things feel with a third person cheerfully taking part in their conversations.  Wendy Schaal is likable enough as Julie but it’s hard to understand why, in-universe, the character is there.

As for our guests, Joan (Barbi Benton in old-age makeup) and Rubi (Audrey Landers, in even more old-age makeup) are former Ziegfeld girls who want to relive their youth.  Joan’s niece, Billie (Betty Kennedy), is appearing in a Ziegfeld-style revue that is being directed by Carl Wagner (Dack Rambo).  Mr.  Roarke agree to make Rubi and Joan young again, with the understanding that it will only be for the weekend and that they can’t tell anyone about their fantasy while they’re experiencing it.  The women agree and are overjoyed when they are transformed into their younger selves.  (I’m going to guess that Benton and Landers were probably even happier to ditch the old age makeup.)  Rubi promptly decides to steal Carl away from Billie.  Joan is shocked by Rubi’s behavior and she has to decide whether to allow her friend to live her fantasy or to tell the truth about what she and Rubi are doing on the island.

Also going into the past is a meek shoe salesman named Ned Plummer (Arte Johnson).  Ned wants to go back to the old west so that he can meet his hero, outlaw Kid Corey.  Corey is famous for disappearing after pulling off a million dollar robbery.  Ned even has an old picture of Corey in which Corey possesses a definite resemblance to Ned himself.  Mr. Roarke warns Ned that, when he goes to the past, the bullets will be real and he won’t be able to return to the present until his fantasy is over.  Given a magic horse, Ned rides into the past and promptly meets Kid Corey (Jack Elam).

It turns out that Kid Corey doesn’t look like Ned.  It also turns out that Kid Corey is not the Robin Hood-type figure that he was made out to be in the history books.  Kid Corey isn’t even a Kid!  He’s an irascible old man who doesn’t lift a finger when Ned is arrested by Sheriff Matt (Cameron Mitchell, naturally enough), taken to jail, and sentenced to hang.  Oh no!  It sound like it’s time for Mr. Roarke to save Ned, right?  Well, Mr. Roarke is busy with another situation so it’s Tattoo who shows up in Ned’s fantasy and, oddly, Tattoo doesn’t seem to be that worried about Ned getting executed.  Maybe Tattoo is planning on blaming it all on Julie.  (That said, it is nice to see Tattoo get to do something more than just as Mr. Roarke questions.  In this episode, Herve Villechaize seems to be enjoying the chance to show off his snarky side.)

What is occupying Mr. Roarke’s attention?  Well, Satan (Roddy McDowall) has returned to the Island.  He claims that he’s just looking for a relaxing weekend but it soon becomes obvious that, once again, he wants Roarke’s soul.  Mr. Roarke warns Julie to be careful what she says around the Devil.  So, of course, Julie promptly offers to give away her soul.

Now, in Julie’s defense, she was trying to save a guest who was drowning in quicksand and what she said is that she would do anything to save the guest’s life.  Satan hears and saves the guest in return for Julie giving him her soul at midnight.  Still, I have to wonder why Julie hadn’t been previously trained on how to pull someone out of quicksand.  I mean, if she’s ready to meet the guests then I would think that Roarke would have given her quicksand training.  That really seems like the first thing that someone should learn when they start working on Fantasy Island.

(For that matter, why is there so much quicksand on a resort!?)

Satan — surprise! — is willing to call off his deal with Julie in return for Roarke giving up his soul at midnight.  Roarke agrees but then he tricks Satan by singing a contract transferring possession of his soul to Julie.  Since Roarke’s soul is now Julie’s, Roarke can’t get give it away.  Because the overly cocky Satan spends too much time gloating and then gets upset over being conned, he loses track of time and the midnight hour passes without Satan taking anyone’s souls.

(I’m not sure if any of this would hold up in court but, to be honest, I don’t really know much about contract law.)

With three stories and a new sidekick to introduce, this was a very busy episode.  The Ziegfeld and the Old West fantasies were nicely done.  The Ziegfeld costumes were to die for and Jack Elam was memorably uncouth in the role of Kid Corey.  That said, as you can probably guess, the main attraction here is Roddy McDowall hamming it up as the Devil.  He and Montalban both seem to be having a lot of fun in this episode and their confrontation is entertaining to watch.  I wish Julie hadn’t been portrayed as being such a naive fool but still, this was an enjoyable weekend on the Island.

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 4.1 “The Devil and Mandy Breem/The Millionaire”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube, Daily Motion, and a few other sites.

This week, season 4 begins with …. THE DEVIL!

Episode 4.1 “The Devil and Mandy Breem/The Millionaire”

(Dir by Vince Edwards, originally aired on October 25th, 1980)

The fourth season of Fantasy Island opens with Mr. Roarke and Tattoo once again upset with each other.

When a man named Fred Catlett (Arte Johnson) wrote to Mr. Roarke and said that his fantasy was to become an instant millionaire, Roarke turned down his fantasy for …. reasons, I guess.  Seriously, becoming an instant millionaire sounds like a typical fantasy and I seem to remember that it’s one that Roarke has granted for other guests on the series.  I’m not sure why Roarke decided that poor, meek Fred Catlett was somehow unworthy of his fantasy.

For whatever reason, though, Roarke does turn down the fantasy.  So, imagine his surprise when Fred shows up on the island!  Tattoo explains that he decided to give Fred his fantasy.  Roarke tells Tattoo that he’ll receive no help and no money from him.  Tattoo is shocked and I’m wondering if this means that Fred will get a refund.  I mean, Fantasy Island is not cheap.  Actually, if Fred already had enough money to come to Fantasy Island, that does make his fantasy seem a little bit weird.  It seems like you have to be a millionaire to get your fantasy in the first place.

Roarke, I should add, is a hypocrite because he totally suspends the rules for this week’s other guest.  Mandy Breem (Carol Lynley) has come to the Island with her fantasy being that she wants the Island to save her life.  However, Mandy refused to explain all of the details of her fantasy until she came to the Island.  Roarke allows her to come, despite not knowing what she wants.  If Tattoo did something like that, Roarke would never let him hear the end of it.

So, what is Mandy’s fantasy?  A year ago, Mandy’s husband (Adam West) underwent a surgery.  Fearful of his life, Mandy made a deal with …. THE DEVIL!  She agreed that, if he saved her husband’s life, she would give up her soul in a year’s time.  Well, that year is coming to a close and Mandy has come to Fantasy Island, hoping that she can somehow get out of the deal.  The Devil (played by a dapper Roddy McDowall) has followed her and soon, Roarke must confront the Lord of Darkness for the sake of Mandy’s soul.

This is a really fun story, largely because the performance of Roddy McDowall as the devil.  Wearing a black suit and a white tie and delivering all of his lines with just the right mix of menace, sarcasm, and camp McDowall is the ideal trickster.  The smoky confrontation between Roarke and the Devil is the highlight of the episode, with both Montalban and McDowall both seeming to relish they drama of the moment.  Ricardo Montalban once said that, while the show’s producers wanted to keep Roarke as enigmatic as possible, he always envisioned Roarke as being a fallen angel who was doing his penance on Fantasy Island.  And, indeed, there is a hint of that in his confrontation with the Devil, with the show suggesting that this is neither the first nor the final time that the two shall meet.

As for the other fantasy, Tattoo’s solution is to steal a magic lamp and give it to Mike.  Mike rubs the lamp and wishes for a million dollars.  A briefcase full of money flies through the sky and lands in front of him.  Mike is convinced the magic worked but actually the briefcase was tossed out of a moving car and now, three thieves (Arlene Golonka, Ross Martin, and Joe Turkel) want their money back!  It all works out in the end.  Despite Roarke’s earlier refusal to grant Fred his wish, this was ultimately a typical Fantasy Island fantasy.  While it really couldn’t compete with Mr. Roarke facing off against the Devil, it did, at least, give Tattoo something to do.  One gets the feeling that this episode was specifically conceived so that both Ricardo Montalban and Herve Villechaize could get their chance in the spotlight without having to actually interact with each other.  And it works out wonderfully, with Tattoo’s silly antics providing a nice balance to the more dramatic stuff involving Mr. Roarke.

All in all, even if it’s obvious that Ricardo Montalban and Herve Villechaize were still not getting along behind the scene, this was a fantastic start for season 4!

Retro Television Reviews: Terror In The Sky (dir by Bernard L. Kowalski)


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1971’s Terror In The Sky!  It  can be viewed on YouTube.

On a flight heading from Minneapolis to Seattle, several passengers suddenly start to get ill.

Luckily, there’s a doctor on the plane.  Sporting sideburns and wearing a turtleneck, Roddy McDowall is quite chic in the role of Dr. Baird, the dedicated medical professional who comes to realize that the passengers are suffering from food poisoning.  As Dr. Baird explains it to head flight attendant Janet Turner (Lois Nettleton), everyone who had the chicken for dinner is about get severely ill.  Uh-oh …. both of the pilots had the chicken!

Is there anyone on the plane who has any flying experience?  George Spencer (Doug McClure) flew a helicopter in Vietnam but, as George explains, it’s an entirely different type of flying all together.  George has no confidence about his ability to land the plane but he’s the only chance the passengers have.

On the ground, gruff Marty Treleavan (Leif Erickson) has been summoned to the airport so that he can help to talk George through the landing.  Marty explains what all of the instruments do to George.  He tells George that he needs to stay in the air for a few hours so that he can get comfortable with the plane.  But the people on the plane are getting more ill and George says that he might be ding things up a little but he’s going to land this plane!

Does this sound familiar to anyone?

As I watched this film last night, I found myself saying, “Oh my God, this is just a serious version of Airplane!”

And actually, it is.  Terror In The Sky was based on Zero Hour, the 1957 film that also served as the basis for Airplane!  (The directors of Airplane! even bought the rights to Zero Hour so that they freely borrow whatever they wanted to from the film.)  Indeed, much of the dialogue in both Zero Hour and Terror In The Sky also shows up in Airplane!  Even the musical cues in Terror In The Sky and Airplane! are similar.

Terror In The Sky is not a bad film.  It’s an efficient made-for-TV film that features several made-for-television veterans, including Keenan Wynn and Kenneth Tobey.  Doug McClure grimaces heroically in the role of George Spencer and Roddy McDowall is as likable as ever as the doctor who hates to fly.  It’s a very earnest movie about a group of people doing everything that they can to save hundreds of lives.  They’re doing the right thing!

But it’s also totally impossible to take the film seriously because you spend the entire movie waiting for Roddy McDowall to say, “Don’t call me Shirley,” or for Leif Erickson to say that he picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.  Every moment and every line makes the viewer think of something funny from Airplane!

Personally, I think they bought their tickets.  They knew what they were getting into.  I say …. well, you get the idea.

And yes, I did rewatch Airplane! as soon as I finished up Terror In The Sky.

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 3.5 “The Chain Gang/The Boss”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  Almost entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube!

What I’ve long-feared has happened.

Tubi has removed the original Fantasy Island from its site.  The recently-canceled Fox version can be viewed but not the original.  Don’t get me wrong.  I liked the new Fox version.  But these are Retro Television Reviews and a show that premiered in 2021 is not yet retro.

Fortunately, quite a few episodes are on YouTube and it’s probable that the original complete series will again end up streaming somewhere.  So, I’m going to try to continue to review this show.  I can’t guarantee that I won’t run out of episodes at some point.  For instance, it doesn’t appear that much of seasons 6 or 7 can be found, even on YouTube.  (Unfortunately, it appears that only the first three seasons of Fantasy Island have been released on DVD.)  But I’m going to do my best!

Episode 3.5 “The Chain Gang/The Boss”

(Dir by Michael Vejar, originally aired on October 19th, 1979)

Tattoo has decided that he wants to be an artist!  Mr. Roarke demands to know why because God forbid Tattoo have a life outside of spotting the plane.  Tattoo admits that he wants to get the island women to pose for him.  Mr. Roarke orders Tattoo to abandon his art career and head down to the docks to meet the plane.

The plane is carrying two guests who hope, much like Tattoo, to change their lives.

Cindy Carter (Donna Mills) is a switchboard operator who has a crush on her boss, Brent Bailey (Brett Halsey).  Her fantasy is to be the boss of her own company.  Mr. Roarke grants her wish and soon, Cindy is in charge of her own multi-national corporation.  In fact, her corporation owns Brent Bailey’s business!  Cindy also gets a executive assistant named Gary Pointer (Roddy McDowall).  Unfortunately, it turns out that Brent isn’t a very nice person and he’s been siphoning money out of the pension fund.  He threatens to frame Cindy to keep her from approving an audit of the fund.  However, with Gary’s support and eventual love, Cindy stands up to Brent and reveals his wrong-doing.  Mr. Atwell (Stacy Keach, Sr.), the presumed-dead head of the company, suddenly shows up at the stockholder’s meeting and announces that he faked his own death to discover who was embezzling from the pension fund.  The stockholders applaud as Brent Bailey is taken away from the police.  It’s all rather silly and melodramatic but the likable presence of Roddy McDowall kept the story entertaining.

Meanwhile, Mike Jenner (Dennis Cole) came to the Island to confront Eddie Collins (Cameron Mitchell), the criminal that Mike believes murdered his father and framed him for a theft.  (There’s a lot of theft in this episode.)  Mr. Roarke reveals that Eddie lives in a nearby fishing village.  Mike goes to the village, spots Eddie, and punches him.  Eddie hits back….

….and both of them are sentenced to spend a year on a chain gang!

Fantasy Island has a chain gang!?  And the chain gang is overseen by a redneck named Captain Hawks (R.G. Armstong)!?  Why has this never been mentioned before?  I mean, is it normal to sentence paying guests to spend a year on the chain gang?

Anyway, Eddie and Mike set aside their difference and break out out the prison camp.  (Fantasy Island has prison camps!?)  During their escape, Eddie gets trapped in quicksand.  Mike does eventually rescue him but only after Eddie confesses to having framed Mike’s father.  As soon as Eddie confesses, Mr. Roarke shows up in his jeep.  Apparently, Mike is now free to leave the Island with his fiancee (Pat Klous) while Eddie is sent to the Fantasy Island prison for the rest of his life.  Much as the other fantasy was saved by the reliable likability of Roddy McDowall, this episode was saved by Cameron Mitchell’s grouchy presence.  One could always trust Mitchell to give it his all while playing a bad guy.

With the fantasies taken care of, Tattoo returns to his art.  When he asks his model to pose naked, she destroys all of his paintings while Mr. Roarke laughs and laughs.  Mr. Roarke really does hate his assistant.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 2.17 “Second Chance / Don’t Push Me / Like Father, Like Son”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week’s episode of The Love Boat is all about second chances!

Episode 2.17 “Second Chance / Don’t Push Me / Like Father, Like Son”

(Dir by Allen Baron, originally aired on January 27th, 1979)

As usual, this week’s episode presents us with three different stories involving people on the cruise.  Two of them aren’t that interesting and I’m going to deal with them first.

Fred Beery (Roddy McDowall) is a nerdy guy who is sailing on The Love Boat to get away from his clingy, marriage-obsessed girlfriend, Christine (Tammy Grimes).  However, Christine shows up at the last minute and boards the boat with Fred.  Fred suddenly starts sneezing.  When Christine asks Fred to marry her, he sneezes and, for some reason, she assumes that was his way of saying yes.  Fred goes to Doc Bricker and wonders if he could be allergic to Christine.  Doc says that people can be allergic to one another.  Fred is excited because this gives him an excuse not to marry Christine.  But then Fred changes his mind and discovers that he’s no longer allergic to Christine.  However, Christine now finds Fred to be too clingy and doesn’t want to marry him and …. well, that’s pretty much the storyline.

This was a bit of an annoying storyline.  Even with Roddy McDowall in the role, Fred was not particularly likable.  Fred’s refusal to get married and his sudden “allergy” was played for laughs but, when seen today, it’s hard not to feel that Fred is basically deep in denial.  If this episode were made today, it would end with Fred finding the courage to come out and Christine realizing the real reason why he didn’t want to marry her.  But, since it was made in the 70s, it ends with Fred begging Christine to give him a second chance.

The second storyline featured Robert Mandan and Randolph Mantooth as a father and a son who were both in love with the same woman (Cathy Lee Crosby).  Crosby, however, was far more attracted to the older Mandan than the younger (and, it seemed, alcoholic) Mantooth.  In the end, Mantooth made peace with the idea of the woman he loved becoming his stepmother.  It sounds like the premise of a Lifetime movie.

But enough about those stories.  The story that actually worked featured Debbi Morgan as Stephanie Jackson, a recent parolee who Isaac convinced the Captain to hire to work in the gift shop.   When some pearl earrings go missing, Stephanie is the number one suspect because she was previously arrested for shoplifting.  Isaac has to figure out if Stephanie stole the jewelry or if she still deserves her second chance.  Eventually, it is revealed that Stephanie did steal the earrings but she also returned them hours later, locking them up in the gift shop’s safe.  Stephanie nearly returned to her criminal ways but had a change of heart.  After hearing her confession, the Captain tells Stephanie that she did the right thing and that she will continue to work at the gift shop.

I actually liked this storyline.  Some of that was because Debbi Morgan gave a good performance as Stephanie.  But also I liked the fact that The Love Boat was highlighting the importance of helping out the formerly incarcerated.  Too often, when people get out of prison, they find themselves without any opportunities.  Most businesses and stores will always find an excuse not to hire someone with a criminal record and, as a result, those recently released are not left with many options beyond returning to a life of crime.  If we’re going to insist that prison is about rehabilitation than we have to be willing to give the formerly incarcerated a chance to prove that they’ve been rehabilitated.  The Love Boat may have been a rather silly show but, with this episode, it sailed with an important message.

Next week: The Love Boat hosts a high school reunion!

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 2.24 “Bowling/Command Performance”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, the Island plays hosts to both a bowling tournament and a circus reunion!

Episode 2.24 “Bowling/Command Performance”

(Dir by Michael Vejar, originally aired on May 12th, 1979)

This week, after spotting the approaching plane, Tattoo attempts to show off the new rocket fuel he’s invented.  Unfortunately, the fuel doesn’t work and the rocket doesn’t take off.  I guess that’s actually a good thing, considering that there’s a plane flying over the island.

“Let’s greet our guests,” a visibly annoyed Roarke says.

This week, Fantasy Island is playing host to two big events.  First, there’s the Fantasy Island Bowling Tournament, in which three of the world’s greatest bowlers will face off against Lou Fielding (Al Molinaro).  Lou is not a bowling champion.  In fact, he’s not even a very good bowler.  I don’t know much about bowling but even I know that the goal is not to get the ball in the gutter.  However, Lou’s fantasy is to win the championship.  Mr. Roarke plants stories in the local press that Lou has been causing a stir on the European bowling circuit and, at the tournament, Lou discovers that strikes are all that he can roll.  Unfortunately, Lou’s fantasy is due to end at midnight and, because of an electrical short, the championship game is delayed until the final morning.  Can Lou get the three strikes that he needs, even though he no longer has the benefit of the Island’s magic?

While this is going on, Naomi Gittings (Joan Blondell) is hosting a reunion of all of the people who used to perform in her circus.  That’s right …. the Island is crawling with acrobats, lion tamers, and clowns!  There’s especially a lot of clowns.  But I think most viewers will be more interested in Roddy McDowall, playing the role of a former tight-rope walker named Richard Simmons.  Richard used to be on the best but then he lost his balance, fell off his rope, and smashed his leg.  Now, he’s a drunk who walks with a limp and is forced to beg his old friends for money.  When members of the circus start to get murdered, Richard is the natural suspect.  But, as Mr. Roarke reveals, there’s more to this mystery than meets the eye….

I liked this episode.  Both of the stories were entertaining and, after last week’s children’s episode, it was kind of nice to once again be dealing with adults.  The bowling fantasy had the potential to be too silly for its own good but Al Molinaro and, in the role of his wife, Rue McClanahan played their roles with surprising conviction.  The highlight of the episode was Roddy McDowall, giving a serious performance as poor Richard.  All in all, this was a good trip to Fantasy Island.

Next week, the second season comes to an end with a second visit to …. ugh …. “the other side of the Island.”