Retro Television Review: Malibu CA 2.2 “Jason’s Song”

Posted on February 13, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

I know that’s the first season cast but I don’t care.

This week …. ugh.

Episode 2.2 “Jason’s Song”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on October 16th, 1999)

Lisa is just the worst!

No, silly, not me! I’m the best. I’m talking about Lisa, the newest character on this show. Lisa is the medical student who was hired to work as a waitress at the restaurant. This week’s episode finds her desperately looking for an apartment and moving in with …. Traycee! The problem is that Lisa can’t stand Traycee because Traycee loves the color pink and is a careless driver. What’s wrong with that? I love the color pink and …. well, I am a good driver. But still, Lisa throws such a fit over moving in with Traycee and Marquita Terry (who plays Lisa) gives such a cartoonishly over-the-top performance in the role that you can kind of end up feeling that Lisa is …. well, she’s the worst.

Things are resolved when Lisa throws one of Traycee’s possessions of the balcony in frustration. I hate to say it but, even though it’s only been a few hours since I watched the episode, I cannot remember what exactly Lisa threw. Was it a CD? Let’s say it was a CD because I refuse to rewatch this episode because, as I will discuss in the next paragraph, this episode deeply offended me. The important thing is that, when the cop shows up at the apartment looking for who threw the whatever at him, Traycee takes the blame and …. GOES TO JAIL! (Editor’s Note: I checked and it was a CD. — Erin)

See, that’s why I’m not going to rewatch this episode. Getting arrested and going to jail is a big deal. Lisa allowed Traycee to potentially get a criminal record. If the show wants me to sympathize with Lisa then Lisa should have gone to the police and told the truth and dealt with the consequences. Lisa was the one dumb enough to throw whatever it was that she threw. This is on Lisa and I don’t care how frustrated she was, she’s the one was an idiot. Instead, Lisa stays at the apartment and paints one door pink and puts up some fake hearts. When Traycee returns …. FROM JAIL! …. she is overjoyed. Lisa and Traycee are friends. Yay? No, no yay. TRAYCEE WENT TO JAIL FOR YOU! Traycee probably got charged with a misdemeanor and had to pay a fine. Someone probably had to bail her out. Throwing something off of a balcony and hitting a cop is not a little thing. Someone with that little self-control should not be a doctor. Lisa spends almost this entire episode shaking with rage. Was no one directing this episode? Was no one asking for a second take? What the Hell was going on?

While this was going on, Jason pursued his musical career and fell under the influence of Jesse Mercer (Rex Smith), who was once in a band with Jason and Scott’s father. (The Disco Dudes, I think they were called.) Jesse proves to be a bad influence. Recently promoted to night manager and having been given a laptop by his father, Jason sells the laptop for a new guitar. What a prick. Jesse agrees to play a fundraiser for the lifeguards but bails at the last minute. Don’t worry. Jason has a guitar and he’s learned an important lesson.

This storyline actually featured a pretty good performance from Rex Smith but it was hard not to notice that it was basically just the Fabolous Belding Boys with Edward Blatchford (now cast not as the cool Belding brother but instead as Jason and Scott’s dorky father) playing the role that Dennis Haskins originally played. If that sentence doesn’t make sense to you, you’ve never watched Saved By The Bell and you’re lucky.

Ugh, this show.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 3.26 “Vicki’s First Love/The High Cost of Living/Accident Prone”

Posted on January 17, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

The Love Boat promises something for everyone!

Episode 3.26 “Vicki’s First Love/The High Cost of Loving/Accident Prone”

(Dir by George Tyne, originally aired on April 5th, 1980)

It’s not easy growing up on a cruise ship. That was one of the main takeaways that I took from this week’s episode of The Love Boat. Vicki is really excited when singer Mark Redding (Rex Smith) boards the ship. She has a huge crush on him and she even gets to give him a tour of the boat.

Of course, despite his teen idol status, Mark is an adult and famous and being pursued by almost every woman on the ship. Vicki feels insecure compared to the other women who are pursuing Mark. (Of course, those women are all in their 20s while Vicki is 12.) Eventually, Captain Stubing has one of his fatherly conversations with her and Vicki realizes that she doesn’t have to grow up quickly. It’s a simple storyline but it’s nicely performed by both Jill Whelan and Gavin MacLeod and, speaking as someone who wanted to be an adult when she was 12, I could relate to Vicki’s feelings. I was also glad that Mark turned out to be not a sleazy rock star, even if he was a bit superficial. The Love Boat is a place for romance, not debauchery.

As for the other two storylines, one featured Steve Kanaly as Mr. Massey, a wealthy man who is paying a former lover palimony. At his lawyer’s insistence, he boards the boat with a series of contracts. Before he get involved with any woman, he is supposed to get her to sign an agreement not to sue him for palimony. Needless to say, this does not make Massey’s romantic life easy. Finally, he decides to forget about the contract, just for his shipboard hook-up to present him with a contract of her own. Apparently, everyone’s scared of getting sued!

Speaking of getting sued, Tom Barry (Alan Feinstein) boards the boat with a broken leg and is shocked to discover that the bad driver responsible for the accident that injured him is on the boat as well! Karen (Britt Ekland) is a bit accident-prone but, despite the awkwardness of their first meeting, Tom and Karen fall in love. Tom even agrees to not sue her. Yay! I love a happy ending.

This was an enjoyable episode of The Love Boat. With the exception of Tom and Karen’ story, there really wasn’t much romance. There was just Vicki feeling insecure but coming to realize that she was just fine the way she was and then there was Mr. Massey trying to balance getting laid with remaining legally safe. But the Vicki storyline was sensitive and intelligent while the Mr. Massey storyline featured some nice comedic desperation from Steve Kanaly. Even Alan Feinstein and Britt Ekland had a really likable chemistry. All in all, this was a pleasant cruise.

The Trial of the Incredible Hulk (1989, directed by Bill Bixby)

Posted on October 5, 2020 by Jedadiah Leland

Still on the run and hoping to find a cure for the condition that causes him to transform into the Incredible Hulk, David Banner (Bill Bixby) is now in New York and using the name David Belson. He’s grown a beard to keep himself from being recognized. I guess it’s like when Superman used to put on his glasses. When David sees a woman being harassed on the subway by two thugs, it’s too much stress for him and he transforms into the Hulk (Lou Ferrigno). When the Hulk turns back into David, he is arrested and charged with being a mugger. (No one believes the witness’s account of seeing a huge green man on the subway.)

Despite the title, the Hulk never goes on trial, though there’s a dream sequence where David turns into the Hulk in a courtroom. (Stan Lee plays the jury foreman.) Just having a nightmare about turning into the Hulk is enough to cause the transformation for real. No New York jail can hold the Hulk.

David’s lawyer is blind and yes, his name is Matthew Murdock (played by Rex Smith). Murdock thinks that the attack on the subway was somehow linked to a crime lord named … yes, Wilson Fisk. Fisk (John Rhys-Davies) wants to set up a national crime syndicate, as if Lucky Luciano didn’t already do that. Using the name Daredevil, Murdock tries to prevent that. David eventually ends up helping.

The Trial of the Incredible Hulk is a huge tease. It promises the Hulk on trial but, instead, it’s just a backdoor pilot for a Daredevil TV series. Just like in The Incredible Hulk Returns, the Hulk is forced to make room for a new hero. But at least The Incredible Hulk Returns actually featured the Hulk working with Thor. In Trial of the Incredible Hulk, the Hulk is hardly present at all. Banner encourages Murdock not to give up, even after he’s badly beaten by Fisk’s men, and he works with Matt to help him prepare for a rematch. But the final battle is almost all Daredevil. Once he escape from prison, Banner doesn’t turn into the Hulk once.

Rex Smith isn’t bad as Daredevil. While he’s not as good as Charlie Cox, he’s still better than Ben Affleck. While the movie does not feature the classic Daredevil costume, it does at least get Daredevil’s origins and powers correct. John Rhys-Davies hams it up as Wilson Fisk. One of Marvel’s most intriguing villains is turned into just another generic bad guy in an office. It’s disappointing.

The Trial of the Incredible Hulk ends with Murdock pledging to protecting the city and Banner again hitchhiking away. Daredevil would have to wait for another 25 years before getting his own series. Banner would return in The Death of the Incredible Hulk.