Tag Archives: review

The Films of 2025: Emmanuelle (dir by Audrey Diwan)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

This film is taking itself way too seriously….

I had that thought 16 minutes into Emmanuelle.  A remake of the wonderfully trashy 70s film that made a star (of sorts) out of Sylvia Kristel, this version of Emmanuelle takes itself way too seriously.  It should be noted that no one is under the impression that the original Emmanuelle films or any of the unofficial spin-offs were high art.  The first film may have pretended to be about something but, ultimately, it was a trashy sex romp that was made because some folks wanted to make a lot of money.  That’s one reason why the original film and Kristel’s version of the character continue to be popular.  Both were totally shameless and unapologetic.

The remake, though, is boring.  Emmanuelle (played by Noemie Merlant) even has a boring job.  She works in quality control for a large chain of luxury hotels.  That’s right, quality control.  This film reimagines Emmanuelle as being the female version of Creed from The Office  Emmanuelle has been sent to Hong Kong so that she can evaluate a hotel that is being managed by Margot (Naomi Watts).  The company has tasked Emmanuelle with finding an excuse to fire Margot and Emmanuelle is feeling conflicted about it.  Let me tell you, there’s nothing sexier than quality control.

Emmanuelle has several sexual experiences while staying at the hotel.  The sensuality of Hong Kong gets to her.  While wearing a towel, she flirts with a nervous room steward.  She touches herself in front of an escort who hangs out at the hotel’s pool and she gets upset when Margot sends the escort and her friends away.  Emmanuelle wanders through the film with a blank expression on her face, staring at things that are often happening off-camera.  Hong Kong is presented as being a world where everything is for sale and no desires are forbidden.  If this was one of Joe D’Amato’s Black Emanuelle films, the decadence would probably be strange and entertaining.  However, since this is an Emmanuelle film that takes itself seriously, it’s kind of boring.

In fact, this film really does get caught up in the whole “Will Emmanuelle get Margot fired?” plot.  That is probably the least interesting part of the movie but the filmmakers really do want us to understand that Emmanuelle could lose her job if she doesn’t give Margot a bad report.  But honestly, who cares?  This film makes the mistake of assuming that “quality control” is a lot more exciting than it actually is.

Emmanuelle does fall in love over the course of the film.  Kei (Will Sharpe) is an enigmatic guest who hasn’t had sex in “two or three years” because he lost his desire.  He’s suffering from ennui!  Emmanuelle yells at Kei for smoking in the hotel but she’s attracted to him as well.  At least, that’s what the film wants us to believe.  Merchant and Sharpe have so little chemistry — romantic or sexual — that it’s hard to really care.  They have some philosophical discussions, the type of stuff that even Zalman King would have dismissed as being rather pretentious.

The main problem, as I said before, is that this film just isn’t fun.  It gets bogged down with its plot and Merlant, Watts, and Sharpe all sleepwalk through their roles.  This film should have been glorious trash.  Instead, it’s just dull.

#MondayMuggers present THE MECHANIC (1972) starring Charles Bronson & Jan-Michael Vincent!

Posted on by Bradley Crain

Every Monday night at 9:00 Central Time, my wife Sierra and I host a “Live Movie Tweet” event on X using the hashtag #MondayMuggers. We rotate movie picks each week, and our tastes are quite different. Tonight, Monday June 16th, we are showing THE MECHANIC (1972) starring Charles Bronson, Jan-Michael Vincent, Keenan Wynn, Jill Ireland, and Frank DeKova.

In THE MECHANIC, Charles Bronson plays a hitman who takes on a young apprentice (Jan-Michael Vincent) and trains him to be a professional assassin. But in their world, you never know when you’ll go from being the killer… to becoming the next target!

I reviewed THE MECHANIC for The Shattered Lens back on New Year’s Day!

THE MECHANIC (1972) – Celebrate the New Year with one of Charles Bronson’s most iconic roles!

Join us tonight for #MondayMuggers and watch THE MECHANIC! It’s on Amazon Prime. The trailer is included below:

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrasssi Hibh 2.6 “Crossed Wires”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1989 to 1991!  The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi

In yourself, you must believe …. let’s return to Degrassi High.

Episode 2.6 “Crossed Wires”

(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on December 10th, 1990)

Alex is dating Tessa but he has yet to kiss her and Tessa’s getting tired of waiting for him.  Arthur and Yick (remember them?) both tell Alex that he’s a total wimp.  Myself, I’m just wondering how Alex somehow went from being a background character to suddenly getting storylines.  For the record, Alex does eventually kiss Tessa and he leaves her breathless, which seems like a bit of an overreaction.  I mean, it’s just Alex….

Of course, any Tessa storyline that doesn’t involve Joey is going to feel somewhat odd because true Degrassi fans know that Tessa is eventually going to end up pregnant after sleeping with Joey, leading to a jealous Snake dropping the first F-bomb ever heard on Canadian television.  But, that was all far in the future.  When this episode aired, Tessa was still just the girl who apparently only owned that one blue dress.

Alex and Tessa’s rather silly storyline is matched with one where Liz, after going on a date with Tim (Keith White, finally getting a storyline after spending so much time as a background character), freaks out after Tim attempts to kiss her goodnight after taking her to a Pogues concert.  Liz eventually tells Spike that she was sexually abused by her mom’s ex-boyfriend and that’s why Liz doesn’t allow anyone to get close to her.  (In many ways, this episode feels like a dry run for the Jane Says episodes of Degrassi: The Next Generation.)  This episode handles the subject with sensitivity, as Degrassi (to its credit) always did.  Tonally, it can be a bit of shock to go from the silliness of Tessa’s story to the seriousness of Liz’s but that’s kind of the way it is when you’re a teenager.  One minute, you’re in a sitcom.  The next minute, you’re in the most depressing drama ever.  That’s certainly the way it was for me when I was in high school.  I preferred the sitcom moments but the fact that I can cry on cue came in useful whenever things started to get serious.

Finally, Dwayne’s moronic friends are upset because Dwayne will no longer let them beat up on Joey.  Dwayne doesn’t care.  Joey’s the only person that knows that Dwayne is HIV positive.  Joey has kept his word and not revealed Dwayne’s secret.  Dwayne helps Joey fix his car and Joey, in return, gives Dwayne a life home.  Dwayne going from being a bully to a sensitive guy is another character arc that would become a Degrassi tradition.

Next week, Kathleen finds some marijuana.  Oh no!

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 3.13 “The City That Bleeds”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, it’s another red ball on Homicide!

Episode 3.12 “The City That Bleeds”

(Dir by Tim Hunter, originally aired on January 27th, 1995)

This week’s episode opens with Bolander, Munch, Howard, and Felton having a morning meeting outside of an apartment building.  They put on bullet-proof vets because they (and several uniformed officers) are about to arrest Glenn Holton, a sex offender who is believed to have murdered a child.  Unfortunately, because of a transcription error on the warrant, the detective go to Apartment 201 instead of 210.  As they knock on the door to 201, someone on the stairwell opens fire on them.  Bolander, Howard, and Felton are hit.  Munch somehow avoids being shot.

It’s red ball time!  We’re only 12 episodes into season 3 and this is our third “all hands on deck” red ball of the season.  NBC reportedly wanted showrunner Tom Fontana to give them more drama in return for renewing the low-rated Homicide and Fontana delivered.

And that’s not necessarily a bad thing.  This was a compelling episode, featuring Pembleton tracking Glenn Holton across the city while Bayliss tried to deal with his guilt over being relieved that he wasn’t shot.  After visiting the hospital, Giardello had an emotional breakdown while Lewis was driving him back to the station.  Felton’s wife returned from Philadelphia to visit him in the hospital.  Gloria Reuben and Tony Lo Bianco guest-starred as detectives who came in to help with the case and, for both of them, this episode felt like an audition to join the cast.  Things ended with a cliffhanger.  Holton is still at large.  Felton is awake but hospitalized.  Bolander and Kay are still in critical condition.  It was an exciting episode.

And yet, one can understand why Ned Beatty later said, in an interview, that this was one of the episodes that eventually led to him leaving the show.  First off, why the detectives would be serving the arrest warrant as opposed to the uniformed cops or, considering Holton’s crimes, even the SWAT team, I’m not sure.  Munch makes a comment about how the four of them had served hundreds of arrest warrants in the past but it’s not something that we’ve ever seen them do on the show before.  That the nonstop emotional drama was compelling was due to the strength of the cast and not the strength of the script, which was occasionally so overwrought that it felt almost like a parody of a cop show.  This episode worked but, after it ended, I found myself thinking about how different it felt from the deliberately-paced and moody episodes the aired during the first and second seasons.

And finally, it’s hard not to get annoyed that, with everything going on, we still had to deal with all of Felton’s stupid domestic nonsense.  I’m tried of hearing about Felton’s wife and kids and how he can’t make his marriage work.  I’m even more tired of Megan Russert, a character who could be a total badass, being solely defined by her relationship with Felton.

This episode, the first of a three-parter, held my attention while I was watching it and it was only afterwards that I realized I kind of had mixed feelings about it overall.  Homicide is changing.  We’ll see where it goes.

Brad reviews MEN & CHICKEN (2015), starring Mads Mikkelsen!

Posted on by Bradley Crain

MEN & CHICKEN (2015) is the story of two estranged, and flat out strange, brothers, Gabriel (David Dencik) and Elias (Mads Mikkelsen), who find out a family secret when their father passes away. It turns out that their “dad” is not their biological father, so the two brothers head out to find their real one. They know he’s a reclusive scientist named Evelio Thanatos, and that he lives on a remote island. When they arrive on his island, they meet their three half-brothers Josef (Nicolas Bro), Gregor (Nikolaj Lie Kaas) and Franz (Soren Malling), who are some real weirdos, and who are prone to violently beat visitors in the head with heavy cookware and stuffed beavers. After taking a couple of beatings from their brothers, Gabriel and Elias are able to work their way into their family’s dilapidated mansion where they find that it is filled with chickens, pigs and a bull named Isak. This is a strange group, with each brother exhibiting certain physical abnormalities and odd behaviors. There’s something dark going on here… and why won’t their new brothers let Gabriel and Elias meet their dad, who apparently sleeps all day in an upstairs room? The remainder of the film deals with the brothers getting to know each other and discovering their family’s deep, dark, animalistic secrets!

I’ve presented a plot summary of MEN & CHICKEN above, but no summary can really do this film justice. It’s a film that has to be seen to be believed. The first thing I really noted about the film is its complete commitment to its weird tone and a twisted sense of humor. We meet Mikkelsen’s character Elias on the most awkward date ever, which he follows up by going to the bathroom and immediately masturbating. We soon learn that masturbating is just something he always has to do. The way his brother accepts the behavior as if it’s no different than him tying his shoes is odd and funny at the same time. There’s also a sight gag early in the film where Gabriel is watching from afar as his brother is being beaten repeatedly in the head by kitchen pots the size of bathtubs that made me laugh out loud. Of course, it’s meant to be funny, but the film’s visuals are also realistic enough that when we see Elias up close his face is a bloody mess! I haven’t watched a lot of Danish films in my life, but I’m starting to get a sense of just how twisted their senses of humor can get! Director and writer Anders Thomas Jensen is somehow able to balance the dark comedy of his setup, the strange nature of the characters he’s created, and the grotesque, horrific visuals that we see inside their family home in a way that’s both absurd and increasingly poignant as the film continues on. I’m so used to movies that follow the same plot points and formulas, but Jensen’s films are wildly unpredictable. You truly never know what you’re about to see next, to both good and bad effect, but it’s definitely not boring!

Mads Mikkelsen is incredible as brother Elias. This role could not possibly be farther away from his repressed badass in Jensen’s RIDERS OF JUSTICE, but you can’t take your eyes off of him. As odd and repulsive as his character can be, the actor’s instincts for absurd comedy are perfectly on display and he’s incredible. I also liked actor David Dencik as his brother Gabriel. His more “normal” character grounds the film as all sorts of craziness is going on around him. They complement each other well. I also recognized Nikolaj Lie Kaas and Nicolas Bro as two of the odd brothers, who were also in RIDERS OF JUSTICE. It’s fun seeing Jensen’s stock players in such unique and versatile performances.

After having now watched Jensen’s films MEN & CHICKEN and RIDERS OF JUSTICE, one of the things I’m picking up on is his ability to create an endearing “family” out of almost any kind of circumstances. These are some of the most strange and troubled people that you will ever see on screen, but beneath the perversity of it all, a theme emerges on the power and acceptance that can be experienced inside of a family, and, ultimately, on the nature of humanity itself. It may not be altogether realistic, but there’s an idealism and hope that resonates with me. 

As I wrap this up, let me just say that MEN & CHICKEN is not for everyone, so I can’t recommend it wholeheartedly. It goes to some deep, dark places in both its humor and the revelation of their dad’s disturbing scientific experiments. However, adventurous viewers with a perverse sense of humor and a willingness to follow a story wherever it may lead will be rewarded by this wholly unique film. A 25 year old me would have probably not been a fan, but 50+ year old me thinks it’s great!!

Lifetime Film Review: My Amish Double Life (dir by Cooper Harrington)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

In 2025’s My Amish Double Life, Lexi Minetree plays Emma, a young Amish woman who suspects that her father was murdered and who starts sneaking into the city so that she can see for herself what life is like amongst the English.

While hanging out at the club with her friend Rebecca (Rebecca Coopes), Emma meets the handsome and charming Heath (Ty Trumbo).  When Emma, much like Cinderella at midnight, announces that she has to go home, Heath asks her to meet with him the next day.  He says he really likes her.  Even though it goes against her way of life, Emma does so.  In fact, Emma even ends up at Heath’s large and beautiful home.  Unfortunately, when another woman is murdered by a scythe-wielding assailant, Emma finds herself trapped in a web of deception and danger!

Oh, the Amish!  I feel kind of bad for them.  For the most part, they just want to be left alone but, over the past few years, Lifetime and Hallmark have become obsessed with them.  As a result, we’ve gotten several movies about life amongst the Amish.  On Hallmark, Amish men and woman are falling in love with the English.  On Lifetime, young Amish women are having to solve murders and stand up to condescending male elders.  For the most part, most of these films present the Amish as just being a bunch of people who wear old timey clothes and work on farms.  And certainly, I imagine that the farms and the clothes are an important part of Amish life but it’s still hard not to feel that most of these movies are simplifying things a bit.  If nothing else, they tend to ignore the huge role that both religion and pacifism play in the Amish community.  There’s also a tendency to assume that every Amish person secretly yearns to sneak off to the big city.  In the movies, the Amish obsess about life amongst “the English.”  In reality, it seems to be the other way around.

(I should mention that there’s a fascinating documentary called Devil’s Playground, which follows a group of Amish teenagers on Rumspringa.  I recommend it for anyone who is curious about the Amish.)

But what about My Amish Double Life?  Is it an entertaining film?  Heck yeah, it’s an entertaining film.  I mean, let’s set aside the question of accuracy.  This is a Lifetime film.  You’re not watching it for accuracy.  You’re watching it for the melodrama.  You’re watching it for the mystery.  You’re watching it for the clothes and the houses.  That’s why we watch Lifetime films.  My Amish Double Life had a good mystery, one that features several viable suspects.  Clothes?  Not only did we get old timey Amish clothes but we also got sneaking off to the club in the middle of the night clothes!  Houses?  Heath lives in a mansion and the Amish farmhouses were pretty cozy too!  And melodrama?  This film totally embraced the melodrama!  Lexi Minetree was a sympathetic lead, Lesa Wilson did a good job as her overprotective mother, and Rachel Coopes was a force of chaos as the Amish girl who liked to break the rules.  It was an entertaining film, which is the main thing that a Lifetime film should be.

Seriously, though — if you’re in Pennsylvania and you see a horse-drawn buggy on the road, be polite when you pass and don’t gawk.  The Amish are just living their lives.

The Films of 2025: The Surfer (dir by Lorcan Finnegan)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Surfer (Nicolas Cage) is an American who has returned to the Australian beach where his dad used to surf.  He wants to buy a home overlooking the ocean.  Even more importantly, he wants to surf with his teenage son (Finn Little).  As the Surfer and his son walk towards the water, they are confronted by three men.  The leader of the men goes by the name of Pitbull (Alexander Bertrand).

“Don’t live here,” Pitbull says, “don’t surf here.”

The Surfer assures Pitbull that his son is an amazing surfer.  (The Surfer’s son looks embarrassed.)

“Don’t live here, don’t surf here,” Pitbull replies.

Pitbull is a member of a cult of local surfers, all of whom follow Scally (Julian McMahon), a self-appointed guru who recites his rules with a ruthless but charismatic intensity.  Scally brands his followers, burning their flesh in a ritual to announce that they are now a part of his family.  “Before you can surf, you must suffer,” Scally says.

Now, to be honest, I would just go to a different beach.  I’m not a surfer.  I’m not even that much of a swimmer.  I do, however, enjoy laying out on a nice beach or by a big swimming pool.  One thing that I’ve learned is that, when the cult arrives, you leave.  Seriously, there’s always somewhere better to go.  Any place that does not have a cult will be infinitely better than a place that does.

The Surfer’s son agrees with me and suggests just going to another beach but that’s not an option for the Surfer.  The Surfer is obsessed with Scally’s beach and he’s determined to surf it.  It was on that beach where the Surfer made his best childhood memories.  It was on that beach where his father died.  The Surfer sends his son back home and then the Surfer literally moves into his Lexus.  He sleeps in the parking lot and he keeps an obsessive eye on the beach.

People come and go.  The Surfer meets the Bum (Nic Cassim), who claims that Scally is responsible for the death of both his dog and his son.  A local cop comes by and is quickly revealed to be a member of Scally’s cult.  The Surfer become more and more disheveled.  He loses his money.  He loses his car.  He runs into his real estate agent (Rahel Romahn) but the agent says that he’s never seen the Surfer before.  The Surfer starts to hallucinate and can no longer keep straight who is who.  What at first seemed like an intense midlife crisis and a desire to reclaim one’s youth starts to seem like something much more troubling and potentially psychotic.  Everyone tells The Surfer to leave.  Everyone tells him that he’s never going to get his house and he’s never going to surfer the beach.  But, like the Bum, the Surfer is a man obsessed.

The Surfer is an intriguing film.  At first, it seems like it’s going to be another Nicolas Cage revenge film.  Then, it becomes a surreal head trip, one that leaves you wondering just who exactly Cage’s surfer actually is.  Unfortunately, the film loses it’s way during its final third and instead becomes a rather mundane thriller.  That said, the cinematography is gorgeous and, if you’re a fan of Cage’s unique style (as I am), this film allows him a chance to get totally unhinged.  I wish the film had stuck with its surreal implications rather than chickening out during the final third but still, The Surfer and Nicolas Cage held my interest.

Song of the Day: Life In The Fast Lane by The Eagles

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

For this Father’s Day, I’m dedicating today’s song of the day to my father.  I miss you, Dad.

He was a hard-headed man
He was brutally handsome, and she was terminally pretty
She held him up, and he held her for ransom in the heart
of the cold, cold city
He had a nasty reputation as a cruel dude
They said he was ruthless, they said he was crude
They had one thing in common, they were good in bed
She’d say, ‘Faster, faster. The lights are turnin’ red.”
Life in the fast lane
Surely make you lose your mind, mm
Are you with me so far?
Eager for action and hot for the game
The coming attraction, the drop of a name
They knew all the right people, they took
all the right pills
They threw outrageous parties, they paid heavenly bills
There were lines on the mirror, lines on her face
She pretended not to notice, she was caught up
in the race

Out every evening, until it was light
He was too tired to make it, she was too tired
to fight about it

Life in the fast lane
Surely make you lose your mind
Life in the fast lane, everything all the time
Life in the fast lane, uh huh
Blowin’ and burnin’, blinded by thirst
They didn’t see the stop sign,
took a turn for the worse

She said, “Listen, baby. You can hear the engine
ring. We’ve been up and down this highway;
haven’t seen a goddam thing.”
He said, “Call the doctor. I think I’m gonna crash.”
“The doctor say he’s comin’, but you gotta pay him cash.”
They went rushin’ down that freeway,
messed around and got lost
They didn’t know they were just dyin’ to get off
And it was life in the fast lane
Life in the fast lane

Songwriters: Joseph Fidler Walsh / Glenn Lewis Frey / Donald Hugh Henley

Music Video of the Day: CPR by Wet Leg (2025, dir by ????)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Jeff and I are on vacation for the next two week and I imagine it’ll be something like this, except with no bearded guys and maybe a nicer car.  That said, I love the dream-like feel of this video.  It’s like driving into another dimension.

Enjoy!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out! 3.18 “Vote For Me”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and Peacock!

This week, Howard goes for a higher office!

Episode 3.18 “Vote For Me”

(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on January 16th, 1988)

The local Business Owners Association asks Howard to run for city council because …. well, I’m not sure why they would ask Howard.  Howard refuses but then he sees his campaign assistant Lila (Heather Smith) and changes his mind.

Howard is shocked to discover that he will be running against a former baseball player and local celebrity named Patrick O’Malley (Bill Lake).  Everyone agrees that there is no way that Howard can win and that’s pretty much the entire episode.  Howard never has a chance, he screws up every opportunity that he’s given, and he ends up getting 400 votes and running behind a write-in campaign for Edna.  (Edna answered some questions in Howard’s place when the latter was late to a campaign forum.)  Howard is stunned by his loss.  Viker says that he was not one of the people who write in Edna’s name before mentioning, “I voted for O’Malley.”  Howard promises to take his employees to the best party in town, the O’Malley victory party.

This was a weird episode.  It’s unfortunate that it didn’t work because the idea of a bumbling egomaniac like Howard running for political office definitely had potential and I will admit I did laugh at Howard’s insane explanation of why getting rid of the police would get rid of crime.  (To be honest, it really wasn’t that different from the arguments I heard during the Defund protests.)  But the show wrote itself into a corner by making Howard such an idiot that there was never any chance of him actually winning.  The entire episode was essentially scene after scene of Howard saying something dumb while everyone else rolled their eyes.  It got predictable fairly quickly.

I think if Jack Christian had been the one who was recruited to run for city council, the episode could have worked.  Christian is as much of a jackass as Howard but Jeff Pustil always manages to give the character a hint of insecurity so you root for him despite your better instincts.  Howard, on the other hand, is often portrayed as being so incredibly dumb and clueless that it’s difficult really get involved in his attempts to be something more than just a grocery store manager.

Oh well.  I would have voted for O’Malley too.