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Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.21 “Remember When….”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.
This week …. oh no!
Episode 6.21 “Remember When”
(Dir by Philip Leacock, originally aired on May 7th, 1983)
After crashing his little car, Tattoo ends up in the Fantasy Island hospital. Roarke cancels all of the weekend’s fantasies so that he can stay by Tattoo’s side and keep Tattoo cheerful until it’s time for him to have life-saving surgery. Roarke and Tattoo share memories and …. YEP, IT’S A CLIP SHOW!
Actually, for a clip show, it’s not that bad. Yes, there’s a lot of awkward dialogue. “Boss, remember that time Mickey Gilley opened up his place?” That said, the clips are well-selected and they all feature Herve Villechaize at his best, turning this episode into a Tattoo tribute. At the end of the episode, Tattoo says that he’s never going to leave Fantasy Island. Which …. well, we’ll get to season 7 in a few weeks.
Anyway, clip shows are pretty much impossible to review. Let’s just be happy that Tattoo pulls through. That accident looked serious!
Brad reviews DANCING OUTLAW (1991) – starring Jesco White and a few of the other wild and wonderful Whites of West Virginia!
Last year I reviewed the 2009 documentary, THE WILD AND WONDERFUL WHITES OF WEST VIRGINIA, which focused on Jesco White and the out of control White family from Boone County, West Virginia. Today, I’m going back to the original 1991 documentary, DANCING OUTLAW that first introduced us to Jesco and his family. Directed by Jacob Young and premiering as part of the PBS “Different Drummer” documentary series, this program would go on to win a 1992 Emmy Award, as well as a 1993 American Film Institute Award for “Best Documentary.” It would also turn Jesco into a celebrity and pop culture figure in West Virginia. This amazing documentary is currently available on YOUTUBE, and I highly recommend it to any person who’s interested in seeing what poverty and unchecked drug and alcohol abuse will do to the human brain.
DANCING OUTLAW is where we first meet Jesco White, an amazingly talented mountain tap dancer, who has multiple personalities and a never ending love and respect for his dad, who gave him his talent and his dancing shoes, if not necessarily an outspoken love. The documentary is smart enough to show us Jesco performing on multiple occasions, thus establishing that Jesco is a truly talented and unique dancer. The multiple personalities seem to come from years of huffing gasoline and lighter fluid that has destroyed his brain. Despite his talent, we are able to observe that Jesco is completely lost as a human being, based on his own words that he willingly shares with us, as well as what we learn from others.
We meet Jesco’s mom Bertie Mae White, the miracle woman, for the first time in DANCING OUTLAW. One of the more emotional parts of THE WILD AND WONDERFUL WHITES OF WEST VIRGINIA was the fact that Bertie Mae passed away during the year the film was made. Here, however, we meet Bertie Mae almost 20 years earlier and get a better feel for what she was like as a younger, healthier woman. We find out how proud she is of her husband Donald “D.” Ray White. We also see that she’s fiercely protective of her kids, and that they love her, even if she can’t control them. I’ve said before that I can see some of my own Grandma Crain in Bertie Mae.
We also meet Jesco’s wife, Norma Jean White. This is not a match made in heaven, as they fight non-stop, with Jesco usually threatening to kill her at some point. Bertie Mae makes it clear that nobody in their family wanted them to get married, yet here they are anyway… married, divorced, married again. Norma Jean tells us some interesting stuff about Jesco, mainly filling us in on his three distinct personalities:
- Jessie – She says Jessie is the most beautiful, perfect man you could ever ask for.
- Jesco – She says Jesco is the devil himself.
- Elvis – She says she has to be silent and just enjoy Elvis. Jesco comments that the Elvis side of his personality is what calms him down and keeps him from wanting to kill everyone else in the world.
I think there’s something to West Virginians and multiple personalities. My wife is from West Virginia, has the last name of White, and often references her different personalities. Luckily, the ones I’ve met so far are pretty nice! On a side note, I’m not sure what became of Norma Jean because she’s never referenced in THE WILD AND WONDERFUL WHITES OF WEST VIRGINIA. Based on all of their arguing, I’m hoping they just got divorced, and I pray that she’s not buried somewhere out there in a holler! (Author update – Jesco was married to Norma Jean up until her death in 2009).
One of the more interesting parts of the documentary is when Jesco, Norma Jean, and Jesco’s brother Dorsey tell us about the night their dad, D. Ray White, was killed. Prior to telling us the events that led to his death, we’re treated to some video footage of D. Ray singing and performing his 52 mountain tap dancing steps. He was a truly amazing performer, and you can’t help but think that Jesco will never be quite as good as his dad. However, the events that led to his death can easily be summed up as follows: all kinds of people were partying together, which means abusing alcohol and drugs, when a fight started, and a person out of their right mind blew him away. It’s a sad waste, but it’s also a natural result of a family and community that’s deep into poverty, drugs and alcohol. Not only do we see how profoundly this affects Bertie Mae, Jesco and the rest of the family in this documentary, but we can also see the aftermath of his death, and the unbroken circles of drug use and violence again in THE WILD AND WONDERFUL WHITES OF WEST VIRGINIA. It’s ultimately both sad and pathetic.
In DANCING OUTLAW, we first meet Jesco’s sister Mamie, as well as his brothers Poney and Dorsey. The only thing I want to say about these three is that we’re updated on each of them in THE WILD AND WONDERFUL WHITES OF WEST VIRGINIA. The passage of time hasn’t been real kind to Mamie, as she’s gone from a pretty, wild, fun-loving woman to a scary, unstable woman who will do anything, including illegal things, to make money. Dorsey is dead from an accidental shooting, and Poney has proven to be the smartest of the bunch by taking his kids and moving to Minnesota for a fresh start. At least there’s one success story since he was able to get away.
At the end of the day, the documentary just kind of ends where it began, with Jesco and Norma Jean sitting at their trailer and arguing. There really is no “happy” way to end a movie about people like Jesco White and his family. I follow a lot of Jesco’s family members on social media, and I think the notoriety they have received from these documentaries has done nothing but make things worse for them. They are almost all struggling with the effects of poverty and drug abuse to this day. In some ways, these people don’t seem real, but the truth is that they are real, and that we know people like them in our own lives. Heck, we may be people like them. Our issues may not be the same, but our lives often contain unbroken cycles of making the same mistakes over and over again and then wondering why we can’t be happy. If nothing else, watching the slow-motion train wreck of another person’s life can hopefully inspire us to get our own shit together!
I’ve included the YouTube link to the DANCING OUTLAW below if you want to see for yourself!
Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.1 “Go-Cart Terror”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!
It’s time for the fourth season! Ponch and Baker — but especially Ponch — continue to keep Los Angeles safe for pedestrians and motorists.
Episode 4.1 “Go-Cart Terror”
(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on September 21st, 1980)
It’s time for season 4 of CHiPs, a.k.a The Ponch Show!
Seriously, if there’s anything that really stuck out about the fourth season premiere, it’s that Baker’s character was pretty much superfluous. Yes, Baker was out there on his motorcycle and helped Ponch catch this week’s bad guys, two thieves played by Larry Storch and Sonny Bono. But, ultimately, it was Ponch who did the important things.
Who coached the CHP-sponsored go-cart team to victory over the fire department’s? Ponch!
Who rescued a woman from a van after she crashed into a lake? Ponch!
Who always knew the right thing to say? Ponch!
Who did everyone talk to when they had a problem? Ponch!
This episode established that Frank ‘Ponch” Poncherello is the greatest human being who ever lived. Baker …. well, he tries. Baker’s nice and dedicated to the job but, in the end, he can only watch with amazement as Ponch solves all of the world’s problems.
I read over on the imdb that Larry Wilcox did not enjoy working with Erik Estrada and he felt that Estrada was the producer’s pet. Watching this episode, I can see why Wilcox would have felt like that. It’s hard to believe that, when this show first started, Baker was the competent one while Ponch was the nervous screw-up who kept making mistakes and who always seemed to be on the verge of getting written up. The fourth season premiere celebrates Ponch as being the supercop who the rest of Los Angeles looked up to. Sorry, Mr. Wilcox …. you may be the better actor but it’s hard to compete with the Estrada of it all.
As for the episode itself, it was typical CHiPs. The criminals were captured after being chased on the freeway and a bunch of kids learned an important lesson about proper go-cart safety. When the go-cart team had to raise money to compete in the next race, Ponch told all the adults that the kids had to come up with a plan because it was their team and the whole point of the go-cart experience was to learn responsibility. You tell ’em, Ponch! I mean, goddamn, Ponch is the man! Anyway, the kids held a car wash and I think the only reason they did that was so the show could have an excuse to have Randi Oakes show up in short shorts and get sprayed by a hose. I hope Ponch talked to the producers about treating Randi Oakes with respect.
I liked this episode, even though I did feel bad for Larry Wilcox. It was silly and fun.
Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.9 “The Rising Sun of Death”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!
This week, the Yakuza invades Miami.
Episode 4.9 “The Rising Sun of Death”
(Dir by Leon Ichaso, originally aired on May 27th, 1988)
Castillo is concerned. The murder of an American businessman leads him to suspect that the Yakuza has come to Miami and it turns out that he’s right. Riochi Tanaka (James Hong), a World War II war criminal-turned-mobster, is trying to take over the Miami underworld. While corrupt Homicide Detective Haskell (R. Lee Ermey) tries to convince everyone that the Yakuza is just a myth, Castillo teams up with Japanese detective Kenji Fujitsu (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa) to takes down Tanaka and his right-hand man, Agawa (Danny Kamekoa). Needless to say, this leads to a fight with samurai swords, a lot of talk of honor, and a seppuku to close the case.
This episode hit every Yakuza cliche and the plot itself felt as if it had been put together at the last minute. (This is one of those episodes where every plot hole is dismissed as being a cultural difference.) We’re expected to believe that Tanaka could outsmart the Allies during World War II but he couldn’t outsmart the Miami Vice Squad. As well, of the major Japanese characters, only one was played by Japanese actor. Danny Kamekoa is a Hawaiian while James Hong is of Chinese descent.
That said, this episode was shot and filmed with a lot of style and it found an excuse to play Billy Idol’s Flesh For Fantasy during one of the early scenes. There’s something to be said for that. Neither Crockett nor Tubbs really did much in this episode but we did get to see Crockett house hunting with Cailtin. It’s mentioned that everyone thinks that Caitlin’s new husband is named Sonny Burnett instead of Sonny Cockett. That’s fine …. except for the fact that Sonny Crockett has previously been established as a bit of a minor celebrity, a college football star who would have gone on to the NFL if he hadn’t injured his knee. Every time this show tries to convince me that Crockett has fooled everyone into thinking he’s Sonny Burnett, it just further convinces me that there’s no way Crockett and Tubbs should still be doing undercover assignments.
This episode was stylish but empty but, considering some of the other episodes that have aired during this season, at least it was entertaining.
Brad reviews the Netflix shark movie UNDER PARIS (2024)!
Last week Sierra and I had dinner with our kids, and as usual, at some point the conversation turned towards movies. Sierra has been watching a lot of terrible shark movies, so I asked the kids if they had seen any decent shark movies lately. Our son mentioned this movie UNDER PARIS, and both he and his wife agreed that they thought it was a good movie. We had not heard of it before, but being tired of the SHARKNADO’s of the world, we decided to check it out.
UNDER PARIS opens with marine biologist Sophia Assalas (Berenice Bejo) and her dive team, which includes her husband Chris, tracking a shark named Lilith. The divers go into the water to obtain a blood sample, expecting to find a normal sized Lilith, but instead discover that Lilith has grown to three times her normal size and is aggressively hunting with a pack of other sharks. Before they can get back to the boat, the divers are all attacked and killed. Three years later and still traumatized by the events of that fateful day, Sophia is now an employee of a Paris aquarium when a young environmentalist named Mika (Lea Leviant) approaches her and says that Lilith’s tracking beacon seems to be active in Paris’ Seine River. Skeptical at first since Lilith shouldn’t be able to survive in fresh water, Sophia changes her tune when a homeless man is found half eaten with wounds clearly caused by a shark. Sophia then works closely with the river police and Sergeant Adil (Nassim Lyes) to try to find the shark before it can kill other Parisians. Wouldn’t you know it, it seems that Paris is about to host a large triathlon that’s tied to the upcoming Paris Olympics. Concerned that the participants could turn into shark food, Sophia and the police meet with the Mayor of Paris (Anne Marivin) to ask her to put off the triathlon. The mayor, however, doesn’t want the bad publicity that would come from cancelling the triathlon due to a “shark problem” so she refuses to cancel and tells them to just deal with it. I think we can all imagine where the story goes from there!
UNDER PARIS is better than most of the shark movies that Sierra and I have been watching, but it’s also a bit of a mess. There are a few things I really did like about the movie. First, I liked the Paris setting, which is not your typical setting for a shark movie. It was fun seeing the Eiffel Tower in the background as our various characters went through all the familiar shark movie tropes, speaking in French no less. Second, I enjoyed the somewhat serious and suspenseful tone of the early portions of the film. Our main character Sophia, as played by Berenice Bejo, is dealing with real tragedy and the movie treats her grief seriously. I think Bejo is good in the film, and I felt for her through these early sequences. I also liked her relationship with Sergeant Adil. Of course he would be skeptical at first, but I thought actor Nassim Lyes did a fine job of balancing rationality with a desire to get to the truth no matter how outlandish it may seem. The suspense around the tragedy at the opening of the film, as well as the portions dealing with convincing the police that the shark is in Paris, are quite effective. Even though it’s a cliché at this point, it was a fun throwback to JAWS (1975) when the mayor of Paris didn’t want to cancel the triathlon due to the bad publicity it would cause. In other words, I really did enjoy a lot of the world that UNDER PARIS created as it was building to the catastrophic shark attacks
UNDER PARIS does have its share of problems. When the big set pieces start and the shark(s) start attacking Paris, the movie pretty much abandons the human stories for CGI shark attacks. I won’t deny that there is some excitement in these scenes, but while the effects are decent, they’re not great, and the non-stop carnage took me out of the parts of the movie that I was really enjoying. Some of the characters, I’m looking at you mayor and environmentalist Mika, are especially naïve and silly, and their downright idiotic decisions lead to the majority of death and destruction presented in the film. By the time half the environmentalists and triathletes have been eaten or severely disabled, I was already wondering how much time we had left to the end of the movie.
Overall, I do think UNDER PARIS is better than most of the shark movies you can find on the streaming services. The unique setting, serious tone, and strong performances get the movie off to a solid start. Unfortunately, it’s just not able to sustain its early momentum throughout to the end.
Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi High 2.8 “Home, Sweet Home”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1989 to 1991! The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi
This week, everyone is sick of Wheels.
Episode 2.8 “Home, Sweet Home”
(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on January 7th, 1991)
Oh, Wheels! Always in trouble, that one.
Ever since getting kicked out of his grandma’s house, Wheels has been staying with Joey but, after several weeks, Joey and his parents are sick of their houseguest. Wheels easts all the food, never says thank you, and has yet to even to start to look for his own place. Instead, he steals a bunch of money from Joey’s mom’s purse. As a result, Wheels not only gets kicked out of the Jeremiah residence but Snake’s parents announce that Wheels can’t stay with them either. Trapped outside during a thunderstorm, Wheels calls his grandmother and promises to obey her rules if she allows him to come home.
“I don’t believe you,” she replies before hanging up on him.
OUCH! Though, to be honest, she’s right about Wheels’s sincerity. Wheels is a pathological liar who takes advantage of anyone who trusts him. It’s been a while since he was the cool kid that everyone wanted to date.
Wheels eventually crashes on Snake’s back porch. (“My parents cannot know you’re back here,” Snake says.) The next day, at school, Wheels promises Joey that he will pay back the money he owes. Joey turns his back on Wheels and walks off.
And, again, Wheels really has no one to blame for but himself. And those of us who know our Degrassi history know that things are soon going to get even worse for Derek Wheeler.
Meanwhile, Michelle returns home so she can have a quiet place to study. She is shocked to find her father is at the house. (She thought he would be at cooking class.) Michelle agrees to move back in but on the condition that she pay rent and that her father stop trying to control her life. Her father reluctantly agrees. I guess, now that she’s broken up with BLT, it no longer matters that her father was previously portrayed as being a raging racist.
This episode was okay but it felt very familiar. We’ve done the whole Wheels-is-awful thing already. Add to that, as terrible as Wheels is, I don’t really agree with Grandma’s decision to refuse to allow him to come home. Wheels promised to abide by his grandmother’s rules and that was the condition that Grandma set for his return. Wheels is a handful and undoubtedly was being insincere but I think Grandma is going back on her word here. If Wheels had come home, she could have at least continued to talk to him and kept trying to get him to go to therapy. Instead, she left him out in the middle of Toronto in a rainstorm. Shame on her for that.
Some characters are just doomed no matter what and that’s certainly the case with Wheels.
Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 3.15 “End Game”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC! It can be viewed on Peacock.
This week, the Homicide detective finally arrest the shooter but can they get a confession?
Episode 3.15 “End Game”
(Dir by Lee Bonner, originally aired on February 10th, 1995)
Finally, the Homicide detectives have figured out who actually shot Bolander, Howard, and Felton. Gordon Pratt (Steve Buscemi), who lived at the apartment that the detectives were accidentally sent to, is a gun-obsessed pseudo-intellectual whose apartment is full of books that he’s probably never read and a picture of himself posing like Lee Harvey Oswald with the rifle he used to kill JFK. Pratt also has an outstanding warrant for his arrest, explaining why he panicked when the cops accidentally knocked on his door.
Here’s my question. Why exactly did it not occur to anyone to see who lived in Apartment 201 when the shootings first happened? I understand that they were focused on a different suspect but it still seems strange that, with all the detectives assigned to the case, no one bothered to check out the guy who lived in Apartment 201.
Anyway, Bayliss and Mitch Drummond drop in on Pratt’s parents, who own a farmhouse and insist that Gordon would never shoot anyone. Meanwhile, Pratt’s co-workers all talk about how much they hate his guts with one guy mentioning that Pratt went out of his way to antagonize people. Pratt is finally tracked down at a massage parlor.
The majority of this episode centers around Pembleton and Bayliss interrogating Pratt. It’s an obvious attempt to recapture the intensity of the first season’s Three Men and Adena and it actually succeeds, thanks to some smart writing and the performances of Andre Braugher, Kyle Secor, and especially Steve Buscemi. Buscemi plays Pratt as being the ultimate uneducated know-it-all, someone who has picked bits and pieces of philosophy and who has learned that, if you deliver your mundane thoughts with a sneering contempt, some people will assume that you’re smarter than you actually are. Pembleton and Bayliss have fun picking apart Pratt’s arrogance but — and this is what sets Homicide apart from so many other cop shows — Pembleton ultimately goes too far. When he takes a look at Pratt’s copy of Plato’s The Republic and realizes that it’s written in Greek, Pembleton can’t help but taunt Pratt and point out that, unlike Pratt, he can actually read ancient Greek because he was educated by “the Jesuits,” while Pratt didn’t even mange to graduate high school.
“I want a lawyer!” Pratt shouts.
At this point, I realized that I had gotten so wrapped up in the interrogation scene that I had totally forgotten about the fact that all of the evidence linking Pratt to the shooting was circumstantial. Without a gun or a confession, there’s not enough evidence to hold Pratt. He pleads out to his outstanding assault warrant and he’s free within a few hours.
“You got too cute, Frank,” Munch says, leading to Pembleton physically attacking Munch and then storming out of the station. Munch goes to the hospital to see Bolander (who has woken up from his coma but who has no memory of who Much actually is) and Bayliss is the only person left to take the call when Gordon Pratt turns up dead in the lobby of his apartment building, shot in the head.
Who murdered Gordon Pratt and was it a cop? That’s what Bayliss — who sarcastically declares “I love my job!” before heading to the crime scene — will have to figure out.
Great episode! Not only was it wonderfully performed but, just when you thought to yourself, “There’s no way Pembleton could get away with this in real life,” it turns out that Pembleton couldn’t get away with it on Homicide either. That’s what makes Frank Pembleton such a fascinating character. He’s a brilliant detective but, in this episode, he let his desire to embarrass Pratt get in the way of doing his job. “He who loses control loses,” Pembleton says and, in this episode, he lost control. Pembleton’s reaction is to storm out of the station in a huff, leaving Bayliss the task of figuring out who killed Gordon Pratt.
My money’s on Munch, just because of how upset he was when Pratt walked and also that it would make sense for Munch to avenge Bolander’s head wound by shooting Pratt in the head. We’ll see if I’m correct next week!
Song Of The Day: Coming Into Los Angeles by Arlo Guthrie
We’ll be coming into Los Angeles in another 12 hours or so. And then, it’ll be onto Dallas. It was a good vacation but I’m definitely ready to jump back into things. I have to say thank you to my fellow writers here at the Shattered Lens and especially my wonderful sister, the one and only Dazzling Erin Nicole, for keeping the site thriving while I was gone.
Here’s today’s song of the day. For the record, I will not be bringing in a couple of keys. I still love Arlo, though!
Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out! 3.20 “Smotherly Love”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and Peacock!
This week, Christian’s mother comes to visit.
Episode 3.20 “Smotherly Love”
(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on January 31st, 1988)
Christian’s mother (Marilyn Peppiatt) flies from Florida to Canada so she can visit her favorite son. It turns out that Christian has been lying to his mother, telling her that he’s the manager of Cobb’s and that Marlene is his fiancée! Howard and the rest of the staff reluctantly play along with Christian’s lies but when it turns out that his mother is planning on sticking around, Howard tells Christian that he needs to tell her the truth.
(Christian doesn’t tell her the truth but it comes out anyway after she overhears him talking to Howard and Edna about how he doesn’t want to disappoint her.)
Meanwhile, the very pregnant Mrs. Viker (Marcia Bennett) hangs out at the story until her water breaks and it’s time for Viker to rush her to the hospital. Later, Edna reveals that Viker actually took his wife to the Holiday Inn.
This was a good episode because it focused on two of the most consistently funny characters on the show, Jeff Pustil’s Jack Christian and Gordon Clapp’s Viker. Pustil is always at his best in those rare scenes where Christian reveals that he has a conscience while Gordon Clapp’s portrayal of Viker’s sincere stupidity has always been one of the best things about the show. Viker’s joy over being a father mixed with Christian’s relief upon learning that his mom didn’t hate him made this a surprisingly heartfelt and sweet episode.
As for Christian telling his mom that he and Marlene are engaged, Jeff Pustil and Kathleen Laskey actually did get married after the show ended. Personally, I’ve always found them to be a cute couple whenever they interacted with each other on the show, even if their characters were supposed to be mortal enemies.
Two more episodes to go!
Through the Shattered Lens 