I’ve been called “Charles Bronson’s biggest fan” on multiple occasions and by people I greatly respect. It’s possible that’s close to being true, but I chose to buy the entire TV series of SHANE on DVD because I wanted to watch Bronson’s wife, Jill Ireland, in a role that doesn’t include her more famous husband. I also wanted to see a young David Carradine as Shane. It doesn’t hurt that the 1953 film starring Alan Ladd is one of my absolute favorite movies.
The very first episode of SHANE starts off with Mr. Starett (Tom Tully) and the new schoolmarm (Diane Ladd) riding into town. They immediately run into Mr. Ryker (Bert Freed) and his henchman Harve (Lawrence Mann), who tells them in no uncertain terms that there will never be a school in this town. Enter Shane (David Carradine), who works for Mr. Starett. He tells Harve to get out of the way, and Mr. Starett, the school teacher and Shane head out to their ranch.
The new school is going to be in Ed Howell’s (Karl Lukas) barn. Mr. Howell is concerned about the school and his own personal safety since he’s heard of Ryker’s threats. Mr. Starett reassures him that everything will be okay so they head to Grafton’s general store to purchase supplies. Mr. Ryker shows up there and tries some more intimidation. When they leave the store, they notice a fire off in the distance. It’s Ed Howell’s barn. Appalled by all of this violence, the schoolteacher catches the next stage out of town.
Marian Starett (Jill Ireland), old man Starett’s daughter, decides she will teach the school. She knows her son Joey (Christopher Shea) needs to be educated along with the other children in the area. Since the barn was burned down, Marian asks Mr. Grafton if they can use the saloon to hold their classes since men don’t come to drink until 4:00 or later. Of course, now Mr. Ryker decides to come early and start drinking. They break bottles and glasses on the floor while the kids try to do their multiplication tables. Scared for the children, Marian takes the kids out and the future of the school appears to be in doubt again.
Shane decides he’s had enough of this crap. He begins building a school out in the country and tells Marian that school will start there tomorrow. He’s prepared to defend the school against Ryker, Harve and anyone else who gets in the way. The next morning, Shane tells Marian & Mr. Starett to listen for the school bell. If they hear it, come on. If they don’t, there will be no school. Harve confronts Shane at the new school building. If Shane is defeated, the idea for the school and the education of the kids in the valley will be dead with him…
I enjoyed this first episode. The main cast does a fine job. David Carradine is a solid Shane. He has the confidence of a man who knows his true value is his ability with a gun. He doesn’t lead with the gun, but he’ll go there when it’s required. Jill Ireland is also good as Marian Starett. There’s a nice bit of sexual tension between her and Shane, and she’s also good as the doting mother to Joey. It is nice to see her in a role that doesn’t involve Charles Bronson, and she’s good in this first episode. Tom Tully is good as old man Starett, Marian’s father-in-law. His character is necessary as a guy who provides some needed relief between Shane and Marian. Finally, Joey is played by Christopher Shea. I’ll have to see how he grows on me as the series progresses. He’s fine in the first episode. Interestingly, he voiced Linus in the classics, “A Charlie Brown Christmas” and “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” so I’m willing to give him some space to grow!
I’m looking forward to seeing where the series goes. It’s a total of 17 episodes so it won’t take too long to get there!
First released in 1979 and directed by the great Werner Herzog, Woyzeck takes place in a small German town in the 19th century. It’s the type of town where everyone knows everyone else and not much happens. As is mentioned towards the end of the film, it’s been a while since the town has seen a “real murder.”
Franz Woyzeck (Klaus Kinski) is a soldier who lives in the town. He’s had a son with Marie (Eva Mattes), despite not being married to her. For that, Woyzeck’s Captain (Wolfgang Reichmann) continually tells him that he is immoral. Woyzeck replies that the poor cannot afford morals. To make extra money, Woyzeck does odd jobs for the Captain and he’s agreed to serve as an experimental test subject for the Doctor (Willy Semmelrogge). The Doctor, who looks down on Woyzeck, has put Woyzeck on a diet of only peas. He’s curious to see what this does to Woyzeck’s physical well-being but he has no interest in the fact that Woyzeck is obviously going mad.
Woyzeck, who, at the start of the film, is already hearing voices and talking about his apocalyptic visions, comes to suspect that Marie is cheating on him with a handsome Drum Major (Josef Bierbichler). While the film does make it clear that the Drum Major is interested in Marie, whether or not she’s actually cheating is left ambiguous. Woyzeck may believe that she is but Woyzeck also believes that he’s having visions of the end of the world so who knows whether one should trust his opinion. Eventually, Woyzeck’s madness leads to tragedy and another ambiguous ending. (The ambiguity reflects not only Werner Herzog’s customary aesthetic but also the fact that the film is based on a fragment of an unfinished play.)
What drives Woyzeck mad? Was he born mad or was he driven mad by his jealousy over the Drum Major? Does he truly love Marie or, as someone who has very little to his name, does he just want to possess her? Is he driven crazy by the inequality all around him or is he just looking for an excuse to justify his own disturbed thoughts? Herzog does not provide a definitive answer. Why Woyzeck goes mad is less important than the fact that the community around him is thoroughly and totally indifferent to the fact that he’s obviously losing his mind. The Captain lectures him as him as if he’s merely a teenager who needs to grow up. The Doctor only cares about Woyzeck as a test subject. Even Marie seems to be indifferent to his instability.
With each scene shot in one take and featuring a largely stationary camera, Woyzeck captures the claustrophobic feeling of being trapped in one’s circumstances. Woyzeck is desperate to escape both his circumstances and his madness but Herzog makes it clear that Woyzeck has nowhere to go. He’s trapped in his life and his fate feels almost pre-ordained. This film is dark, even by the standards of Werner Herzog, However, it also features one of Klaus Kinski’s rare sympathetic roles. It’s not surprising that Kinski is convincing as a madman as Kinski is often said to have been a bit mad in real life as well. What stands out is just how good a job Kinski does at playing the rather meek and subservient side of Woyzeck. Woyzeck features one of Klaus Kinski’s best performances.
In My Best Fiend, Herzog said (one hopes jokingly) that he was often tempted to have Kinski killed. Woyzeck shows us why we should be happy that he didn’t.
First released in 1978, Starcrash takes place in a galaxy that is probably far, far away. The evil Count Zath Arn (Joe Spinell) is attempting to overthrow the benevolent Emperor (Christopher Plummer). Zath Arn has built a weapon that is so large and so powerful that it can only be hidden inside of another planet. (“Like a Death Star?” you say. Hush, don’t go there….) The Emperor’s son, Prince Simon (David Hasselhoff), led an expedition in search of the weapon but a surprise attack of glowing red lights led to his ship crashing on the unknown planet. Simon is missing and Zath Arn’s power is growing.
Two legendary smugglers — Stella Starr (Caroline Munro) and the enigmatic Akton (Marjoe Gortner) — are released from prison and tasked with tracking down both the weapon and Simon. (Stella was already in the process of escaping when she got the news of her release.) Accompanied by the duplicitous Thor (Robert Tessier) and the loyal Elle (Judd Hamilton), a robot with a thick Southern accent, Stella and Akton set out to explore the haunted stars.
It’s a journey that leads them to …. well, actually, it only leads them to three planets. It turns out that the weapon wasn’t that well-hidden after all. Still, one planet is populated by Amazons and protected by a giant, tin robot. Another planet is populated by cannibals who wear stone masks. And then there’s an ice planet where the clouds race across the sky while Stella and Elle try to make it back to their ship without freezing to death. And if that’s not enough to make things exciting, this film also features David Hasselhoff with a light saber!
There’s no point in denying that Starcrash would never have been made if not for the success of the first Star Wars. Indeed, the film even begins with an opening crawl and features a shot that is almost a recreation of the first scene in Star Wars. However, director Luigi Cozzi doesn’t limit himself to just mining Star Wars for inspiration. The giant tin robot owes a huge debt to the creations of Ray Harryhausen. The judge that sentences Stella and Akton to prison is the same talking head that appeared in Invaders From Mars. A scene in which Stella explores an abandoned spaceship owes more than a little to 2001: A Space Odyssey. Even Akton, with his telepathic powers, seems like he could have stepped out of an episode of Star Trek.
Starcrash makes no secret of its influences but it’s such an energetic and good-natured film that all of the borrowing feels like like a rip-off and more like a very affectionate homage. It’s obvious that director Luigi Cozzi loved the films from which he borrowed and that love is present in every frame of Starcrash. Starcrash is a fast-paced space adventure and it’s a lot of fun. It’s certainly more fun than any of the recent entries in the Star Wars franchise. Working with a low-budget, an energetic cast, and some surprisingly creative special effects, Cozzi crafts a genuinely entertaining movie. Marjoe Gortner was never better than he was in Starcrash. Christopher Plummer, to his credit, brings a truly noble bearing to the role of the Emperor. Joe Spinell obviously understood that his role didn’t require subtlety and he delivers all of his lines like a villain in an old time serial. As for David Hasselhoff …. he’s the Hoff and he brings his trademark earnestness to the role of Simon. Starcrash is the best film that Cozzi ever directed.
A good deal of the success of Starcrash is due to Caroline Munro, who gives such a committed and likable performance as Stella Starr that it’s hard not to mourn the fact that Cozzi was never able to make any more films about the character. As played by Munro, Stella Starr is a smart, confident, and strong. Stella loves doing what she does and it’s impossible not share her joy when she announces she’s taking the ship into “hyperspace.” Even though Stella spends the majority of the film running around in a leather bikini, Munro brings a definite touch of class to the role. No one is going to push Stella Starr around and certainly, no one is going to destroy the Galaxy on her watch. Thank to Caroline Munro’s fearless performance, Starcrash is one of the most empowering science fictions ever made.
Starcrash ends with hints of a possible sequel but sadly, there never came to be. (Not surprisingly, there was an unrelated film that was advertised as being a sequel but which was actually just a softcore science fiction version of Lady Chatterley’s Lover.) It’s a shame. Stella Starr definitely deserved to have many more adventures.
THE MECHANIC features an iconic performance by Charles Bronson, a performance that would represent a blueprint for the type of character he would play in many films…the strong, silent, unstoppable, man of action. Bronson plays Arthur Bishop, a hit man with a gift for planning and executing his hits in a way that make the deaths look like natural deaths rather than murders. Facing health issues and loneliness, he takes on a young protégé named Steve McKenna, played by Jan-Michael Vincent. This upsets his bosses in the underworld because he takes on the apprentice without asking them. Will they allow him to train up this new protégé and complete tag team hits going forward, or will they decide that Bishop is no longer worth the risk?
I’ll start off by stating up front that I love THE MECHANIC. The first Charles Bronson movie I ever owned on VHS was a nearly unwatchable, 2nd hand version of the film, but I still tried to watch it. The first Charles Bronson movie I ever saw on the big screen was a beautiful 35mm print of the film at the Mahoning Drive-in theater in Lehighton, PA. I also believe that this film has the best ending of any Charles Bronson film. Needless to say, the following review will be full of praise, so if you’re looking for a real critical take on the piece, this is probably not the place to look!
To start off, THE MECHANIC has a uniquely amazing opening sequence. The first 16 minutes of the film features hitman Bishop going through the mundane tasks of setting up a hit. We watch him set up shop across the street from the mark, we watch him break into the mark’s apartment to rig the things needed to accomplish the hit, we watch him squeeze a wax ball, etc. Bishop speaks no dialogue during these 16 minutes, and the only things we hear are the sounds of the soundtrack and the street. Bronson’s unique screen presence makes it mesmerizing. Could you imagine an action film trying this strategy in this day and age?
Once Bishop has successfully completed the first hit, we’re introduced to Bishop’s world outside of what we’d observed during the opening sequence. We meet Harry McKenna (Keenan Wynn), the “uncle-like” figure who has gotten himself in trouble with the organization. We’re not surprised who’s given the job to eliminate this problem. We meet Harry’s son Steve (Jan-Michael Vincent) who hits it off with Bishop at the funeral where their relationship really begins. On a side note, the film’s script featured these two characters as gay men, and the sexuality element was going to be a major way that Steve would get close enough to Bishop to gain his trust. That part of the script was changed to get Bronson and secure financing for the film. Since that element is not part of the movie I’ll move on. We meet a prostitute (Jill Ireland) who’s visited by Bishop. This is a very interesting scene that gives us a strong insight into just how lonely Bishop is and also helps us understand why he’s open to the idea of bringing on an apprentice. I think Jill Ireland is quite effective in her one scene.
Once the various characters are introduced, the film settles nicely into a mentoring relationship between Bishop & Steve. The experienced hitman shares his knowledge, and we follow along with them as they complete various assignments. The movie seems most interested in the relationship between the men, but this is an action movie, so we have a couple of very solid action sequences in the middle portion of the film, as well as the end. Director Michael Winner, who directed Charles Bronson in six different films, stages these sequences extremely well, especially the sequence that ends the film in Naples, Italy. We see necks snapped. We see faces knuckle punched. We see a motorcycle chase ending with a motorcycle flying off a cliff and exploding into a ball of flames upon impact. We see boats exploding. We see Bronson using my favorite weapon, the pump shotgun, with expert precision. We see cars chasing each other along the Italian coast. We see bombs being dropped out of moving cars with precision timing to blow up the cars behind them. We even see a bulldozer pushing a moving car off the side of a cliff. It’s some amazing stuff, with Bronson & Vincent appearing quite badass at times. And then the ending, the ending that proves just how awesome Bishop truly is! I won’t say anymore about that. Just watch and enjoy!
**BONUS CONTENT** – We dedicated an episode of the “This Week in Charles Bronson” podcast to THE MECHANIC. It was one of the most enjoyable episodes for me to record. If you’re interested in learning more about the film from a group of guys who love Charles Bronson, give it a listen!
On New Year’s Eve in 1972, a tragedy struck in the Aegean Sea. Just as the clock hit midnight and its passengers wished each other a happy new year, the cruise ship Poseidon was capsized by a tidal wave. The majority of the ship’s crew and passengers were killed in the disaster but a small group managed to climb up through the wreckage and make their way to the ship’s hull, where they were rescued. Gene Hackman sacrificed his life so that Ernest Borgnine, Red Buttons, Jack Albertson, Carol Lynley, and Pamela Sue Martin could all survive.
We all know the story of The Poseidon Adventure and some of us have even been goaded by our sisters into singing There’s Got To Be A Morning After for karaoke night at Grandpa Tony’s. (Grandpa Tony’s has since shut down but, for a while, it was the best place in Dallas for nachos and karaoke.) But do you know the story of what happened after that initial group of survivors was rescued from the ship? Have you gone Beyond The Poseidon Adventure?
First released in 1979, Beyond The Poseidon Adventure picks up directly from where the first film ended. Mere minutes after the rescue helicopter flies off, a tugboat pulls up alongside the still capsized wreck of the Poseidon. Needing money to pay off his debts, Captain Mike Turner (Michael Caine) has decided to declare salvage rights and claim all of the cash and jewelry that he can find in the wreckage. Accompanying him is his mentor Dead Meat (Karl Malden) and his protegee, Annoying and Cutesy (Sally Field). Actually, Dead Meat is named Wilbur but, as soon as Karl Malden starts to dramatically grab at his chest, viewers will know that he’s destined to heroically sacrifice himself. Annoying and Cutesy’s real name is Celeste. Sally Field gives perhaps the worst performance of her career as the almost always perky Celeste. This movie came out the same year that Sally Field appeared in the film for which she won her first Oscar, Norma Rae. I have to imagine that Field was happy to win that Oscar because it meant she would never have to do another film like Beyond The Poseidon Adventure.
Before the tugboat crew can begin to explore the Poseidon, another boat shows up. This boat is captained by Stefan Svevo (Telly Savalas), who claims to be a doctor who is responding to an S.O.S. from the capsized ship. Svevo and his crew insist on accompanying the tugboat crew into the Poseidon. It’s obvious from the start that Svevo is not actually a benevolent doctor. For one thing, the men accompanying him are armed. For another thing, he’s played by veteran screen villain Telly Savalas.
The two crews finally enter the ship and …. hey, there’s even more people on the boat! At the end of The Poseidon Adventure, we were told that only six people had survived the disaster but apparently, that was just a damn lie. The ship is literally crawling with people who still haven’t gotten out. (Why didn’t the people who rescued the first batch of survivors check to make sure that they had gotten everyone?) There’s Tex (Slim Pickens), who says he’s from “Big D” and talks about how he owns an oil well (as we all do in Big D). There’s Frank Mazzetti (Peter Boyle, basically playing the same loudmouth that Ernest Borgnine played in the first film) and his daughter Theresa (Angela Cartwright) and Theresa’s new boyfriend, Larry (Mark Harmon). There’s a nurse (Shirley Jones) and a blind man (Jack Warden) and his wife (Shirley Knight). There’s Susanne (Veronica Hamel), the cool femme fatale who has a connection to Svevo.
While Svevo searches for a crate of plutonium (what the Hell was that doing on the Poseidon?), Mike tries to get the survivors to safety. That means once again climbing up to the hull while the ship shakes and the engines continue to explode. Both the first film and the sequel feature the exact same footage of the engines exploding. At this rate, I guess the Poseidon might finally sink sometime this year.
Directed by Irwin Allen (who produced the first film), Beyond The Poseidon Adventure is about as bad as a film could be. The first film had plenty of silly moments but it also had the entertaining spectacle of Gene Hackman and Ernest Borgnine competing to see who could yell the loudest. Beyond the Poseidon Adventure has Michael Caine and Telly Savalas both looking bored while Peter Boyle complains, “That was the worst New Year’s Party I’ve ever been to!” and Sally Field says stuff like, “I’ve been to Anzio! It’s the pits!” At one point, Slim Pickens says that he’s as phony as a three dollar bill. The same could be said of this film. Beyond The Poseidon Adventure looks and feels cheap and generates none of the suspense of the first film.
As Beyond The Poseidon Adventure ended, I found myself worrying that there might be other passengers still stuck on the ship. I mean, apparently, it’s very easy to not only survive on a capsized cruise ship but also to be overlooked by professional rescue crews. Unfortunately, there was not another sequel so those folks were just out of luck.
There was a time in my life, before streaming existed, where it seemed like I wanted to buy every movie that interested me in the slightest. The main ways I looked for new movie releases was to go to a store like the Hastings Entertainment Superstore and look at their inventory, or look at the new and recent releases on Amazon’s online store. I could spend hours looking for movies in either location, and I did. Sometime in 2008, I ran across a DVD box set described as “The Films of Budd Boetticher” that contained introductions by the likes of Martin Scorsese, Taylor Hackford, and Clint Eastwood. The films included on the box set were THE TALL T, DECISION AT SUNDOWN, BUCHANAN RIDES ALONE, RIDE LONESOME, and COMANCHE STATION. I remember seeing the names of these movies at various times in my life in my movie books. They had never really caught my attention, although I do remember that they would receive good reviews. This set did catch my attention, however, based on the interesting packaging and the fact that Scorsese and Eastwood were both singing the praises of the films. I did a little bit of quick research and decided to just buy the boxset. I’m glad to report that these films have turned into some of my very favorite movies, and I sing their praises to anyone who will listen.
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The earliest movie in this set is THE TALL T from 1957, which is based on Elmore Leonard’s short story, “The Captives.” The story opens with our hero Pat Brennan (Randolph Scott) stopping by the Sassabee Stagecoach Station and visiting with the owner Hank (Fred Sherman) and his son, Jeff (Christopher Olsen). Brennan seems like a good-natured guy who has a nice visit with the two and even agrees to purchase young Jeff some striped candy when he stops in the town of Contention later that day. Brennan heads on to Contention where we meet Ed Rintoon (Arthur Hunnicutt), a stagecoach driver who has been hired to take Willard and Doretta Mims (John Hubbard and Maureen O’Sullivan) to Bisbee for their honeymoon. Rintoon and Brennan are clearly old friends. As part of their various conversations, we learn that Doretta Mims is the daughter of Old Man Gateway, the man with the richest copper claim in the territory. After saying goodbye to Rintoon and buying young Jeff his striped candy, Brennan continues on to Tenvoorde’s (Robert Burton) ranch, in hopes of buying a seed bull for his own start-up ranch. For many years, Brennan had been the ramrod on Tenvoorde’s ranch, and the old man clearly wants him to come back. Tenvoorde offers Brennan a chance to get his bull for nothing, but he has to ride the bull to a stand still. If he can’t do it, then Tenvoorde keeps the bull and Brennan’s horse. Brennan takes him up on the offer, falls off the bull, dives into water trough to avoid getting stomped by the bull, and then heads back towards his ranch with nothing but his wet clothes and saddle. As he’s walking down the road, Rintoon comes by on his stagecoach with Mr. and Mrs. Mims. They pick Brennan up and give him a ride. When they stop back at the Sassabee Stagecoach Station, Hank and Jeff are nowhere to be seen. Rather, a voice from inside the station says “Drop your guns and come on down.” Frank Usher (Richard Boone) and young Billy Jack (Skip Homeier) emerge from the station with their guns drawn. When he’s getting down off the stagecoach, Rintoon goes for his shotgun and is shot down by another man, Chink (Henry Silva), whose been waiting in the shadows. These three men are waiting to rob the next stagecoach that comes along. They’ve already killed Hank and Jeff, and are planning to kill every person on this coach, when Willard tells them that his wife Doretta is from the richest family in the territory. Willard tells the three outlaws that Old Man Gateway will pay good money to get his daughter back, if they will just let them live. Usher, the leader of the bunch, likes this idea and sends Billy Jack and Willard back to Contention to request $50,000 from Gateway for the safe return of his daughter. With the endgame changed, Usher takes Brennan and Mrs. Mims to their hideout to wait to get their money from Gateway. Brennan knows that it’s just a matter of time before they are all killed, and he tells Mrs. Mims that they will need to be looking for any possible opportunity to escape.
THE TALL T is just so good. It’s amazing how much drama that director Budd Boetticher could fit into these films that all had running times of less than 80 minutes. The story is simple, but it deals with big themes like honor, cowardice, true love, sociopathic evil, and big dreams. Credit here has to be given to Elmore Leonard, the writer of the short story the film is based on. It must also be given to Burt Kennedy. Kennedy wrote the scripts for THE TALL T, RIDE LONESOME, and COMANCHE STATION. He’s not the credited writer for BUCHANAN RIDES ALONE but he did uncredited work on the script. Kennedy would go on to have a good career writing and directing his own westerns, like SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL SHERIFF, THE TRAIN ROBBERS, and HANNIE CAULDER, but his work with Boetticher is definitely some of his very best.
It’s also amazing how spare and simple everything looks in the THE TALL T. The land is just so dry, with nothing but big rocks and not a tree in sight. Growing up in Arkansas, I’m used to green fields and trees and flowers. It can almost feel like you’re choking on dust just watching this film.
The casting always seems to be perfect in Boetticher’s films. Randolph Scott is simpatico with Boetticher. His character here is a good man who will do what it takes to survive while also keeping his honor intact. Boetticher and Scott are truly a match made in heaven. Richard Boone is great as Frank Usher, the leader of the outlaws. He could have killed Scott’s character Brennan, but he is glad to have an honorable man to talk to after spending all of his time with Billy Jack and Chink. Boone somehow makes his outlaw leader into an honorable man even though he’s done many dishonorable things. It’s an impressive feat. Maureen O’Sullivan has an important role as Doretta Mims, the rich but plain woman, who married Willard because she was afraid she’d end up all alone. Her career goes all the way back to the 1930’s where she played Jane in the original Tarzan movies. She’s a good actress whose character undergoes the widest arc in the entire movie. Henry Silva’s Chink is a sociopath who is keeping score of the number of people he kills. Boone’s Usher would have been much better off if he would have gone with Chink’s advice and put Brennan and the Mims’ in the well back at the Sassabee station! Based on his nonchalant penchant for violence, you can see how Henry Silva would go on to having an amazing career playing bad guys. The last person I want to mention in the cast is Arthur Hunnicutt, who played Ed Rintoon. Hunnicutt is special to me because he comes from the hills of Arkansas, from a little town called Gravelly. He attended the same college I attended, although it was called the Arkansas State Teachers College when he was there. It was the University of Central Arkansas when I came through. Hunnicutt specialized in wise, rural characters. He was even nominated for an Acadamy Award a few years earlier for a movie called THE BIG SKY. He’d go on to be in so many good movies, including playing “Bull” in EL DORADO with John Wayne. I’m just proud of the guy for growing up in extreme rural Arkansas and then becoming a great character actor in Hollywood. I’ll watch anything he’s in.
I recommend all of these Budd Boetticher / Randolph Scott westerns, and THE TALL T is one of the very best!
Every Monday night at 9:00 Central Time, my wife Sierra and I host a “Live Movie Tweet” event on X using the hashtag #MondayMuggers. We rotate movie picks each week, and our tastes are quite different. Tonight, Monday December 30th, we’re watching 48 HRS. starring Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy.
So why did I pick 48 HRS., you might ask?
It’s quite simply one of the best “Buddy-Cop” action comedies of all time! If you love tough, violent, badass action, as well as laughing your ass off, 48 HRS. is the perfect movie for you.
Eddie Murphy made one of the great film debuts of all time with 48 HRS. After establishing himself as a comic genius on Saturday Night Live with roles like Mr. White, Buckwheat, and Mr. Robinson, Murphy absolutely steals his debut film. Nick Nolte is also great as the tough, grizzled cop, but it’s Murphy’s performance that turned this into a classic.
Walter Hill directed 48 HRS. and he’s one of my favorite directors. My personal favorite film as I type this is Hill’s directorial debut, HARD TIMES (1975), starring legendary tough guy icon, Charles Bronson. Hill has such a great resume of top-notch films including THE DRIVER (1978), THE WARRIORS (1979), THE LONG RIDERS (1980), SOUTHERN COMFORT (1981), CROSSROADS (1986), EXTREME PREJUDICE (1987), and RED HEAT (1988). And 48 HRS. is probably the best of the bunch.
I love the songs in the film. Of course it starts with Eddie Murphy’s rendition of “Roxanne” by The Police. And then you can’t help but want to dance when the BusBoys are singing “The Boys are Back in Town” and “New Shoes.” Heck, I love “Torchy’s Boogie” by Ira Newborn as well, setting the stage for Murphy’s rousting of the redneck bar, one of the movie’s best scenes!
So join us tonight to for #MondayMuggers and watch 48 HRS. It’s on Amazon Prime.
(Author’s note: I’m using the film’s original title of DRACULA 3D for my review. It seems to be going under the title of ARGENTO’S DRACULA as well, like in the image above. That’s also how I found it on Amazon Prime for my current viewing.)
If you’re one of my favorite directors or actors, I will watch all of your work, and I will probably like it. Such is the case with Dario Argento and Rutger Hauer. These two have been a part of so many great films over the years, but they have also been associated with some pretty bad stuff as well. I remember when I first read that Argento was making his own version of Dracula in 3D, and that Rutger Hauer would be playing the famous vampire hunter Van Helsing, the movie immediately went on my watch list. This means that I would google for more information every couple of days, as well as follow various entertainment-related websites looking for additional info. I also remember when the trailer was released. I specifically remember thinking that it looked awesome. I couldn’t wait to see it! And then it came out, and it seemed like everyone hated it. I made the mistake of reading reviews, which I often purposely avoid, and it seemed that many critics had a personal vendetta against the film. The reviewers weren’t content to just say it was a bad movie, they wanted me to know that it was an incompetent mess that everyone involved in should be completely ashamed of. There were a few exceptions to this universal shame, including my friend Lisa Marie Bowman, but that was definitely the general consensus. Because of this public disdain for the movie, I haven’t put that much effort into watching DRACULA 3D over the years. I’d started it a time or two, but I’d never actually finished it before. That is, until now. It’s a rainy day here in Central Arkansas, so I chose the movie for my wife and I to watch as the thunder rolled, and the rain came on in.
The plot of the DRACULA 3D sticks to most of the things I remember about watching Dracula movies over the years. Count Dracula (Thomas Kretschmann) seems to be inflicting a sort of reign of terror in his part of the world and all the locals seem to know that going out into the woods by yourself at night is a bad idea, but they keep doing it anyway. The movie opens with Tanja (Miriam Giovanelli) going to meet her boyfriend in a barn for a late night sex romp. Sadly, after he gets satisfied, he refuses to walk her back to town. She throws her cross necklace at him and walks away in anger. Soon a big owl flies down on her, turns into Dracula and starts sucking her blood. The next person I remember meeting is an out of towner named Jonathan Harker (Unax Ugalde). It seems Count Dracula has called him to his castle to organize his library or something. He visits with Dracula for a bit, listens to wolves howling in the distance, and then heads to his room. It turns out that Tanja is not dead but is now living at the castle with Dracula. She invites herself in to tempt Jonathan, a married man, with her assets. Of course, it isn’t long before she’s trying to suck his blood. Dracula isn’t having any of that though, and he shows up and reminds Tanja that “he’s mine,” before attacking Jonathan’s neck like it’s a lobster tail at an all-you-can-eat seafood buffet in Branson, MO! Soon Jonathan’s wife, Mina (Marta Gastini), and her friend Lucy (Asia Argento) show up at Dracula’s place since Jonathan seems to have gone missing. Dracula proceeds to suck on Lucy behind her knee, turning her into a member of the undead, and then tries to turn Mina into his eternal love. Finally, after all the activities above, Van Helsing (Rutger Hauer), Dracula’s old nemesis, shows up to try to end his reign of terror once and for all. I’ve probably missed some important details, but I think I got the gist of it. Feel free to correct me in the comments if I missed anything important.
After watching DRACULA 3D, the multitude of critics may have been right if all they cared about is a great movie by “movie criticism” standards. That just doesn’t describe me though. I watch movies because I like the people in them, and the people who make them. I certainly don’t expect perfection, and I certainly value entertainment over some self-important “message.” The critics have always gone out of their way to disparage my hero Charles Bronson, and I just keep watching his movies anyway. I have to admit I had that same feeling when watching DRACULA 3D. I think this movie is fun, and I don’t really give a shit what the critics think. Based on past movies like SUSPIRIA and BLADE RUNNER, maybe the critics have a right to expect more out of Argento and Hauer. But then again, if any person expected that level of cinema back in 2012 when they watched this movie, I wonder if they should consider going into another profession. DRACULA 3D never intended to compete with those classics. It is camp of the highest order, it’s on purpose, and it should be judged as such. The special effects are cheesy, the boobs are plenty, and the performances are over the top. Dario Argento has made some of the best movies I’ve ever watched. I don’t think he just forgot how to make a movie. This is the movie he meant to make, and, in my opinion, the campiness adds to the charm. Thomas Kretschmann gives a committed performance as Dracula, and Rutger Hauer is very serious as Van Helsing, without a hint of comedy or goofiness. With all the crazy things going on around them, I think their “serious” performances are perfect for the movie. If I had any complaint about the movie, it would be that Hauer doesn’t show up until over an hour into the one hour, 50-minute runtime. However, once he comes to town, Van Helsing pretty much takes over the movie from that point forward. As a big time, fan of Hauer, I enjoyed his Van Helsing turning badass and dispatching everyone who had seemed unkillable up to that point.
My final word is if you’re truly a fan of Argento or Hauer, you should enjoy this film. Don’t expect TENEBRAE or THE HITCHER. Just enjoy it for what it is… a cheesy, B-movie take on a legendary story. That was enough for me!
Here are a few thoughts about what I watched during the final week of 2024.
Check It Out (Tubi)
Look for my review of this show next Saturday.
Degrassi High and Degrassi: The Next Generation (Tubi)
I’ve had a cold since the day after Christmas so I’ve been spending a lot of time in bed and rewatching the Degrassi franchise.
Dragnet (YouTube)
Joe Friday and Bill Gannon kept the streets safe in the episodes that I watched on Friday as I tried to get over my cold. Good for them!
Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)
In order to get a head start on 2o25, I watched an episode of Friday the 13th this week. Look for my review next Friday!
Happy New Year, Charlie Brown (Apple TV+)
I watched this classic special with Erin on Thursday. Someone needs to check on Charlie Brown. He’s sleeping in the snow! He’ll never finish War and Peace if he gets pneuomonia!
Highway to Heaven (Tubi)
I returned to Highway to Heaven this week. Look for my review next week!
Homicide: Life On The Street (Peacock)
Look for my review next week!
King of the Hill (Hulu)
Hank rented a truck for the holidays! “You mean …. a convoy!?” Absolutely one of my favorite episodes of this classic show and I was happy to watch it on Monday.
I went on to binge a few more episodes on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. I’ve had a cold and this show has definitely kept me entertained as I’ve tried to will myself into good health.
The Love Boat (Paramount+)
I watched an episode of The Love Boat this week. Look for my review next week!
Malibu, CA (YouTube)
I forced myself to watch two episodes of this show on Sunday. Look for my reviews in 2025!
Monsters (YouTube)
I returned to Monsters this week. Look for my review next week!
Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town (Sunday Night, ABC)
I watched this holiday classic with my sisters on Sunday night. It made me smile, as it always does. I love the holidays!
Seinfeld (Netflix)
I watched the Festivus episode on Monday (which, appropriately enough, was Festivus!). I always enjoy it when Bryan Cranston shows up as the decadent dentist.
St. Elsewhere (Hulu)
Look for my reviews to return next week!
TV 2000 (Night Flight+)
I watched an episode of this 80s music video program on Friday night. They were really wild about Bruce Springsteen. I’ve never really gotten his appeal but then again, I’m not from New Jersey.
Welcome Back, Kotter (Prime)
I’m continuing my way through the fourth and final season. My reviews will return in 2025.
Through the Shattered Lens 