Yay! It’s a new music video from Sleigh Bells!
Enjoy!
Yay! It’s a new music video from Sleigh Bells!
Enjoy!
In 1995’s Bloodknot, we are introduced to a grieving family.
Evelyn (Margot Kidder) and Arthur (Allan Royal) are mourning the death of their oldest son, who was in the military and who died during a military operation in the Middle East. Their other son, Tom (Patrick Dempsey), spends his time working on cars and helping out local racecar driver Mike (Craig Sheffer). Youngest daughter Gail (Ashleigh Ann Wood) doesn’t really have much of a personality but she’s definitely worried about her mother.
Suddenly, Connie (Kate Vernon) shows up in town. Wearing a uniform that is slightly too large for her, Connie claims that she served with Evelyn’s dead son and that they eventually became more than just friends. That’s strange, Evelyn says, he never mentioned you. Connie replies that she encouraged him to write more but, for whatever reason, he didn’t. Everyone agrees that what’s important now is that Connie has introduced herself to the family. Soon, Connie is living at the mansion and making flirtatious eye contact with both Arthur and Tom. One might expect Evelyn to be concerned about this but instead, Evelyn is too busy walking around in a depressed daze and blaming her “sinful” past for all the recent tragedy.
You probably already guessed that Connie is not who she says she is. Indeed, Connie has come to the family with an agenda of her own. She’s looking for vengeance and I won’t spoil it by revealing what she’s upset about but I will say that it’s fairly dumb and makes less sense the more that you think about it. Tom’s girlfriend, Julie (Krista Bridges), suspects that Connie is a liar but can she prove it? Julie even talks to the officer from whom Connie stole her uniform after Connie met and seduced her at a bar. Why would Connie, who seems to be willing to kill anyone, leave that one person alive? Obviously, it’s so Julie can learn the truth but still, it’s an oversight on Connie’s part that makes little sense.
(Julie isn’t a very interesting character but she does get to wear a really nice pair of boots so at least she’s got that going for her.)
Looking at the members of this film’s cast — Patrick Dempsey, Craig Sheffer, Kate Vernon — and you have to wonder if someone specifically said, “Let’s make an paranoia-themed, erotic thriller with the least interesting actors of the 90s.” (Yes, Dempsey got better but, in this film, he was still doing the goofy awkward thing.) This film goes through all the usual steps. Connie starts out as being friendly and then progressively reveals herself to be more and more unhinged. The men are reduced to stuttering incoherence by the sight of Connie smiling at them. For this type of film to work, the actors have to be fully willing to embrace the melodrama but instead, both Kate Vernon and Patrick Dempsey give oddly lowkey performances, with Vernon’s attempt at a seductive smile instead coming across like a smirk that should have clued everyone in to the fact that she was not to be trusted. If you’re appearing in a film like this, you should at least have a little fun. As for Craig Sheffer, he’s as mind-numbingly dull as ever.
The film does improve a bit towards the end, largely because Connie’s secret reason for harassing the family is so implausible that it can’t help but be a bit entertaining to listen to the characters discuss it. Overall, though, this was pretty boring. Let this film be a lesson to all — embrace the melodrama!
Previous entries in 2025’s 14 Days Of Paranoia:
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!
Love, exciting and new …. come aboard, they’re expecting you….
Episode 5.18 “His Girls Friday/A Wife for Wilfred/The Girl Who Stood Still”
(Dir by Robert Scheerer, originally aired on February 13th, 1982)
Wilfred (Tom Smothers) is a single guy who tells the crew that he’ll pay $10,000 to whoever helps him find a wife on the cruise. The members of the crew each introduce Wilfred to a different woman and soon, Wilfred has five women following him all over the boat. However, when Isaac hears Wilfred bragging about how he conned the crew into doing all the work for him and how he was lying about the $10,000, the crew hires Marilyn (Connie Stevens), who runs the ship’s flower shop, to pretend to Wilfred’s wife.
Ha! Joke’s on Wilfred! No wait, the joke’s on the crew. Marilyn and Wilfred fall in love. Meanwhile, Julie remains single.
Meanwhile, Howard Ethan (Dick Van Patten) boards the ship with his loyal and superefficient secretary, Doris (Rue McClanahan). Doris is a great secretary but when Howard finds out that Cindy Nevins (Judy Landers) is looking for a secretarial job, he tries to figure out how to get Doris to quit so that he can hire Cindy. Maybe he and Doris could just fall in love. Myself, I wonder why people were always doing work while on The Love Boat. Isn’t a cruise supposed to be a vacation? And yet, every episode seemed to feature someone determined to spend the cruise in their cabin and getting some work done. I appreciate the spirit, I guess. I mean, I write film reviews while I’m on vacation so I guess I can relate. But still, if you’re going to pay for a luxury cruise, wouldn’t you at least want to use it as an excuse to forget about your responsibilities on the mainland?
Finally, Bess Hensinger (Vera Miles) boards the boat with her daughter, Abigail (Denise Miller). Abigail is stunned to learn that Bess invited a boy that Abigail likes to join them on the cruise. How will Jim (James Osmond) react if he discovers that Abigail has …. scoliosis!? This storyline was actually the best of the episode, if just because it was the only one where the male half of the romantic pairing didn’t come across as being totally sleazy. Jim was a genuinely nice guy and, needless to say, he didn’t care that Abigail has scoliosis. Denise Miller give an excellent performance as the insecure Abigail. As an asthmatic teenager, I always dreaded the thought of using my inhaler in front of other people so I could relate to what Abigail was going through. I may not have cared about the other two stories but I was happy things worked out for Jim and Abigail.
One good story out of three is usually not something brag about but Abigail and Jim were such a winning couple that they really did make this episode worth the trouble. Despite Wilfred and Howard, this was a good cruise.
We woke up to glorious snow this morning. It’s pretty, even if it’s not quite the blizzard that we were promised by the weather service. That said, it’s 11 degrees outside and I’m looking forward to spending the next few days cuddled up inside.
In others words, let it snow!
Here’s Dean Martin expressing the thought perfectly in today’s song of the day.
Oh, the weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful
And since we’ve no place to go
Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!
Man it doesn’t show signs of stopping
And I brought me some corn for popping
The lights are turned way down low
Let it snow! Let it snow!
When we finally kiss goodnight
How I’ll hate going out in the storm
But if you’ll really hold me tight
All the way home I’ll be warm
And the fire is slowly dying
And, my dear, we’re still goodbying
But as long as you’d love me so
Let it snow! Let it snow and snow!
When we finally kiss goodnight
How I’ll hate going out in the storm
But if you really grab me tight
All the way home I’ll be warm
Oh, the fire is slowly dying
And, my dear, we’re still goodbying
But as long as you’d love me so
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!
Songwriters: Jule Styne / Sammy Cahn

Episode 8 begins with Sam Grafton (Sam Gilman) riding up to the Starett cabin as Shane (David Carradine), Tom (Tom Tully). Marian (Jill Ireland), and Joey (Christopher Shea) are chopping and stacking wood. He has a new plow for the family, and he also has a letter that has arrived for Marian from Boston. The letter is from Mr. Warren Eliot (Robert Brown), a handsome former boyfriend who is now a state Senator in Massachusetts. His letter explicitly states the fact, and also reminds Marian, that she was once “the most beautiful girl in Boston.” Tired of working like a mule for little or no appreciation and only discussing things like plow handles and wood for the winter, Marian is excited when Warren’s letter announces that he is coming for a visit. This throws the household, and Shane, into quite a tizzy. And it gets even worse when Warren arrives, for everyone but Marian and Rufe Ryker (Bert Freed) that is. Marian feels like she’s 18 again, and Ryker sees this as an unexpected opportunity to get the Starett’s and Shane out of the valley. Spending their days riding horses and talking about the old times, the new times, and everything in between, Warren eventually asks Marian to marry him and go back to Boston. Marian is unable to say yes or no immediately and asks for a little time to think about it, especially since it would be such a big change for Joey. Of course, all of this puts Shane in a pissy mood, but he still won’t tell Marian exactly how he feels, even though she presses him about it a couple of times. Will Marian agree to marry the dashing Warren Eliot? Will Ryker finally get his hands on the Starett land? Will Joey and his turtle have to travel across the country? Will Shane have to pull up stakes and move on down the trail? I think you probably know the answers, but the fun is always in watching it unfold!
Near the end of my review of episode 7, I made the following comment, “I don’t think they (Shane and Marian) look at each other longingly a single time, which did make me a little sad. Here’s hoping they’ll double that up in Episode 8!” All I can say is be careful what you wish for. In this episode, Marian and her old boyfriend, now Senator Eliot, take center stage. And Shane is off to the side sulking most of the time while Marian is basking in all the compliments and attention. I was kind of hoping that Warren would turn out not to be quite as perfect as he first appears, you know, one of those deals where he has duplicitous motives or something. But no, he really is just about perfect. And Shane, poor Shane… you would think that he might finally tell Marian how he really feels about her. But not our Shane. When she point blank asks him what he thinks she should do, with a little hope in her voice that he might try to talk her out of it, his response is “you’d be crazy not to say yes.” And then he goes off to sulk some more. At the end of the day, I can’t help but wonder if Shane doesn’t have a hell of a point! But the heart wants what the heart wants, and it doesn’t always make sense.
As for the moments where Shane and Marian look longingly at each other, this episode does indeed double up with a couple of doozies. The first time is when Shane tells her that he introduced himself to Warren earlier that day at Grafton’s as her “hired man.” She tells Shane that “you know you’re family. You know that don’t you Shane? Don’t you?” As Shane is hitching up his horse to leave, she runs out the door and stares at him, then he stares at her and then does a double take, and then she stares at him some more. Even I started to get a little uncomfortable! And there was another scene late in the episode where they chop wood together late in the evening that has be serving as a metaphor for making love or something. They are working that wood together and looking at each other and sweating. The scene ends with her saying “it’s good to be needed,” to which he replies, “yeah” while somewhat out of breath. From that point forward, we know poor Warren doesn’t stand a chance. I’ve never watched any of these episodes before starting this series of reviews, so I had no idea this was coming when I finished up last week’s review. Needless to say, Episode 8 fulfilled my quota of sexual tension between the two for at least the next few episodes combined!
Overall, while I did enjoy episode 8, I must admit that it’s not one of my favorite episodes so far, especially with Shane coming off more like lovelorn teenager than a tough gunslinger for most of the episode. The resolution is a little silly as well, with Shane and Warren actually teaming up in a bar fight with Ryker’s men. But with that said, the writers must be credited for providing me exactly what I asked for in my last review, in spades. So, thank you Jack Schaefer and Ellen Violett! As we’re reaching the midway point of the complete series, I’m looking forward to what episode 9 has to offer.
Today, we wish a happy birthday to the one and only Victoria Justice! I’m currently up at our lakehouse so I can relate to this video in spirit, even though it’s currently 18 degrees up here. It’s the thought that counts.
Enjoy!
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.
This week, there’s a heatwave on the beach!
Episode 1.7 “Heatwave”
(Dir by Lyndon Chubbuck, originally aired on April 13th, 1996)
A heatwave has hit Santa Monica! Everyone is sweltering and the cameras of Pacific Blue are there to record every drop of sweat. The AC at Chris’s apartment is not working so, while she waits for it to get repaired, she moves in with TC. What will TC’s girlfriend think of that? Actually, she won’t think anything about that because her character disappeared after the pilot.
As I watched this episode, it occurred to me that the show’s writers really seemed to have no idea who the characters actually were. Instead of coming across like actual human beings, every character has one personality trait that the writers insist on hammering into every scene. Chris is always complaining about something. Even after TC offers to let her stay at his apartment, Chris complains. Chris complains so much that it actually becomes a bit whiny on her part. But it’s not really Chris’s fault. It’s the fault of the writers who obviously assumed that writing a “strong woman” meant making her act like a bitch no matter what the situation. TC’s character trait is that he has a permanent chip on his shoulder even though every episode so far has essentially been a TC love fest. He’s second-in-command of the bike cops. He’s never held responsible for his mistakes. He comes from a rich family. Lt. Palermo praises him nonstop. And yet TC always seems like he’s bitter about something. And, as with Chris’s permanent bad mood, it’s just because the show’s writers didn’t bother to give him a personality beyond always acting like he has something to prove. The episodes hints at an attraction between Chris and TC but they would really be a terrible couple.
This episode finds a radio sex therapist (Maura Peters) being stalked by Jordan Crane (Denis Forest, playing the same type of creepy psycho that he played on multiple episodes of Friday the 13th), a listener who is obsessed with her and who murders anyone who he thinks is getting too close to her. TC has a crush on the sex therapist. Chris dislikes the sex therapist and thinks TC is dumb because of course she does. Chris and TC run afoul the homicide detective, Bart Browning (Barry Lynch), who is investigating the case. Browning doesn’t have much respect for cops who ride bicycles. Palermo, Chris, and TC go out of their way to change his mind.
So, yes, this is yet another episode where Pacific Blue tries to convince us that cops on bikes aren’t as dorky and useless as they look. Every time Browning makes fun of them, we get a shot of the bike cops chasing a thief or investigating a lead. The problem is that Browning does have a point. The cops do look really silly on their bikes. The fact that they often have to pick up and carry their bikes doesn’t help. And listen, this is not an anti-bicycle thing. I have a bike, I occasionally ride it in the park. (What I don’t do is ride it in the middle of the street.) When you’ve got asthma like me, cycling is a good way to keep your lungs healthy. But if I need the police, I want to see a squad car and I don’t want to have to deal with anyone wearing shorts.
While this is going on, Victor and Cory investigate a thief who hires strippers to perform in stores and bars. While everyone is distracted, the thief robs the place. This storyline actually did make me laugh a little. All of the male witnesses could perfectly describe the strippers but none of them even saw the man sneaking behind the counter with a gun. In the end, the thief is captured in an elaborate undercover sting. Cory and Chris pretend to be the dancers while Palermo pretends to be the bartender and the thief soon discovers everyone else in the bar is a cop as well. At least in this storyline, Chris’s bad mood had to do with being annoyed with the objectification of women as opposed to being mad because someone offered her a place to stay so she wouldn’t die of heatstroke.
Finally, Elvis discovers a lot of holes on the beach and thinks that the aliens are coming. It turns out that a local golf course was just stealing the sand for their sand traps. I’m glad that worked out!
As much as I’ve complained, this episode of Pacific Blue was a slight improvement over the previous few episodes, if just because the the subplots were vaguely interesting and/or amusing. Chris and TC continue to be the weakest part of the show. Hopefully, they’ll get some new personality traits soon.
2008’s Conspiracy opens in Iraq.
A group of American soldiers are searching for militants. Amongst them is the grim-faced William “Spooky” MacPherson (Val Kilmer). When an adorable little girl with a teddy bear approaches the soldiers, MacPherson barely notices. His mind is on adult threats. But when the girl reveals that she has a bomb in her backpack, the majority of the soldiers are blown up with her. MacPherson survives, though he loses a leg and ends up with such severe PTSD that he can no longer carry a gun or even make a fist. Helping him recover from his wounds is his best friend and fellow soldier, Miguel (Greg Serano).
A year or so later, MacPherson is back home. He lives in a run-down apartment in New York and spends most of his time with a naked woman who speaks Russian. (Whether she was meant to be his girlfriend or just someone he hired is unclear.) Miguel continually calls him up and asks him to come down to New Mexico and work on his ranch. MacPherson refuses at first. He wants to remain isolated from the world. But when his flashbacks of the explosion become too intense, MacPherson finally decides to accept Miguel’s offer. MacPherson pawns a gun so that he’ll have enough money to get a bus ticket. And then, he heads for New Mexico.
The only problem is that, once MacPherson arrives in New Mexico, Miguel is nowhere to be seen. Walking through a town that appears to have recently been constructed, MacPherson meets a lot of people who insist that they’ve never heard of Miguel and that there is no ranch at the address that Miguel gave MacPherson. The police carefully watch MacPherson as he makes his way from business to business, searching for his friend. No one in town is friendly. No one seems to want MacPherson around. Eventually, MacPherson is approached by Rhodes (Gary Cole), the businessman who is building the town and who apparently controls everything that happens within the town limits. Rhodes is friendly. Rhodes says that MacPherson, with his white skin and blonde hair, is exactly the type of person that he likes to see in his town. Can you tell where this is going?
You probably already guessed that Rhodes is an evil businessman who is involved in human trafficking and who smuggles Mexicans across the border to work for his company before then sending back to their home country with next to no money. You’ve also probably figured out that Miguel was killed by the corrupt police force. If you haven’t figured that out, you’ve never seen a movie before. MacPherson teams up with the only kind person in town, Joanna (Jennifer Esposito), and they try to stop Rhodes’s operation. The entire movie seems to be building up to a scene where MacPherson and Joanna take on the whole town but instead, somewhat anticlimactically, everyone just stands around and watches Rhodes battle MacPherson. Conspiracy promises a lot but it doesn’t really deliver.
This was one of Val Kilmer’s first straight-to-video roles and he gives a rather detached performance, which is a shame because an actor of Kilmer’s talent could have really done something with this role if he had been in the mood to do so. But I don’t blame Kilmer for not seeming to be that invested in Conspiracy. It’s not a very interesting film. Even the usually dependable Gary Cole just seems to be going through the motions. The film’s attempt to comment on the pressing political issues of 2008 — illegal immigration, the war in Iraq, the burst of the housing bubble, the recession — only serve to reinforce how shallow and heavy-handed the film actually is. Watching Conspiracy in 2025, the most interesting about it is that the issues it deals with are the issues that, 17 years later, Americans are still dealing with.
With its portrayal of an isolated town and a scarred war veteran looking for a missing friend, Conspiracy has a lot in common with the classic 1955 film, Bad Day At Black Rock. Now, that’s a film that is definitely worth seeing!
Previous entries in 2025’s 14 Days Of Paranoia:
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.
This week, someone tries to expose Fantasy Island!
Episode 6.6 “The Beautiful Skeptic/The Last Platoon”
(Dir by Ricard Montalban, originally aired on November 27th, 1982)
Your eyes do not deceive you. This episode was directed by Mr. Roarke himself, Ricardo Montalban!
The main fantasy deals with Jack Oberstar (Gary Frank), who wants to go back to World War II so that he can find proof that his brother, Ken (Steve Kanaly), was killed in action and did not, as the army claims, desert and become a black market smuggler. After the customary warnings from Mr. Roarke, Jack finds himself serving alongside his brother in France. Jack not only gets to bond with his brother but he also discovers that it was the evil Galloway (Don Stroud) who stole his brother’s identity and went on to become a criminal. Ken did die heroically but, without his dog tags, he was misidentified. No sooner does Jack learn all this then he finds himself back in the present. Jack is happy to know the truth but he regrets not having returned with proof.
However, Mr. Roarke reveals that, while Jack was having his fantasy, a career criminal died while serving a life sentence in France. By checking his fingerprints, the authorities discovered that the criminal was Galloway, who was long believed to have died in World War II. Jack realizes that he can now argue that Galloway stole Ken’s identity! He’s happy, even if he doesn’t have his definite proof. Myself, I started thinking about how different the world must have been in the days before DNA testing. Today, Jack presumably wouldn’t even have to go Fantasy Island to prove that the body buried in “Galloway’s” grave was actually his brother.
As for the other storyline, it features Connie Stevens as journalist Christine Connelly, who is determined to prove that Mr. Roarke is a fake. She tells Roarke that she interviewed eleven former guests and all of them were happy with how their fantasies went. Christine argues that there’s no such thing as “eleven satisfied customers,” which is a weird way to put it.
Christine brings along two people who have fantasies. Jay (Jimmie “JJ” Walker) wants to win a weight-lifting competition, despite being Jimmie “JJ” Walker. Luckily, Roarke has some magic chalk dust that allows Jay to do just that. (You have to feel bad for everyone who actually wasted their time training for the competition.) Frank (Herb Edelman ) wants to be reunited with his estranged wife, Connie (Ruta Lee). This actually proves somewhat difficult, as Connie really doesn’t want to see Frank. But it turns out that this is because Connie thinks that Frank is having an affair with Christine. I’m not sure that Roarke reunited Connie and Frank is really greater proof than Jimmie Walker winning a strongman competition but the important thing is that Christine learns to be less of a cynic and to open her mind to the magic of Fantasy Island.
This was not a bad trip to the Island. Much as Mr. Roarke did with the Island, Ricardo Montalban kept the episode moving quickly and efficiently. It’s interesting that Fantasy Island started out as this place that was shrouded in mystery but, by the sixth season, it was apparently well-known enough to attract the attention of tabloid television. In the end, Mr. Roarke proved his good intentions and protected the Island. Good for him!
Given the fact that today is the birthday of both John Hughes and Molly Ringwald, it seems obvious what today’s song of the day should be.
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Ooh, woah
Won’t you come see about me?
I’ll be alone, dancing, you know it, baby
Tell me your troubles and doubts
Giving everything inside and out and
Love’s strange, so real in the dark
Think of the tender things that we were working on
Slow change may pull us apart
When the light gets into your heart, baby
Don’t you, forget about me
Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t
Don’t you, forget about me
Will you stand above me?
Look my way, never love me
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling
Down, down, down
Will you recognize me?
Call my name or walk on by
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling
Down, down, down, down
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Ooh, woah
Don’t you try and pretend
It’s my feeling we’ll win in the end
I won’t harm you or touch your defenses
Vanity and security, ah
Don’t you forget about me
I’ll be alone, dancing, you know it, baby
Going to take you apart
I’ll put us back together at heart, baby
Don’t you, forget about me
Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t
Don’t you, forget about me
As you walk on by
Will you call my name?
As you walk on by
Will you call my name?
When you walk away
Or will you walk away?
Will you walk on by?
Come on, call my name
Will you call my name?
I say
La, la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
When you walk on by
And you call my name
When you walk on by