This new music video makes me want to take up boxing. Pop pop!
Enjoy!
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Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out! 3.8 “Mutiny on Mr. Christian”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and Peacock!
This week, Howard leaves the store once again. Chaos follows.
Episode 3.8 “Mutiny on Mr. Christian”
(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on November 7th, 1987)
Howard goes on another one of the 100 vacations that he seems to take during the year, leaving Christian in charge of the store. To no one’s surprise, Christian turns out to be a total martinet who times Marlene’s check-out speed, bothers Leslie at the deli, and refuses to give out the paychecks early. “The book says 4:00,” Christian explains, “and I’m doing things by the book.”
When Howard returns early, Marlene rats on Christian and reveals, amongst other things, that Christian attempted to strip search a female shop lifter. (Agck! As someone who was a compulsive makeup stealer in her teen years, I’m glad Target didn’t have the same policy.) Howard probably could fire Christian for the strip search stunt but instead, he …. well, he does nothing.
Christian, however, gets back at Marlene by disguising his voice, calling her, and telling her that she has won two tickets to Atlantic City as a part of a newspaper sweepstakes that she was taking part in. Marlene is super-excited and can’t wait to take her grandmother on a real vacation. Christian suffers a pang of guilt. When he later calls to tell Marlene that she didn’t win the tickets, Howard overhears him. Christian is forced to tell Marlene what he did. Instead of yelling at Christian, Marlene says she’ll just win the tickets for real.
Marlene does not win the contest. But Howard, Leslie, and even Christian all buy her tickets to Atlantic City. Awwwww!
Plotwise, this episode felt like a season two episode. Howard is once again going on vacation whenever he wants. Christian is once again acting like a jackass. Leslie and Marlene are once again allied against the world. Edna is not in the episode and neither is Viker. Even the ending feels like a season two ending. Marlene takes the tickets from Christian while Marlene returns the other tickets to Leslie and Howard so that they can get refunds. They laugh about getting one over on Christian though they might want to consider that Christian, for once, tried to do the right thing without being ordered to do so.
That said, this episode works like a season 3 episode because it focuses on the show’s three most consistently funny performers, Jeff Pustil, Aaron Schwartz, and Kathleen Laskey. Schwartz has fun with Leslie’s snarky insults. Laskey brings an edge to Marlene’s sarcasm. Jeff Pustil is always at his best when he’s portraying Christian’s attempts to weasel out of being held responsible for his actions. The three of them more than make up for the fact that Don Adams himself feels a bit off in this episode.
All in all, this wasn’t the best episode of the show or even the third season. But it still made me smile.
Song of the Day: Once In A Lifetime by Talking Heads
Today’s song of the day, much like our scene that I love for today, is taken from Jonathan Demme’s Stop Making Sense. Here is Once In A Lifetime, performed by Talking Heads.
And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself, “Well, how did I get here?”
Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again, after the money’s gone
Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground
And you may ask yourself, “How do I work this?”
And you may ask yourself, “Where is that large automobile?”
And you may tell yourself, “This is not my beautiful house”
And you may tell yourself, “This is not my beautiful wife”
Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again, after the money’s gone
Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Water dissolving and water removing
There is water at the bottom of the ocean
Under the water, carry the water
Remove the water from the bottom of the ocean
Water dissolving and water removing
Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again, into the silent water
Under the rocks and stones, there is water underground
Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
Leting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again, after the money’s gone
Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground
You may ask yourself, “What is that beautiful house?”
You may ask yourself, “Where does that highway go to?”
And you may ask yourself, “Am I right, am I wrong?”
And you may say to yourself, “My God, what have I done?”
Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again, into the silent water
Under the rocks and stones, there is water underground
Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again, after the money’s gone
Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Same as it ever was, look where my hand was
Time isn’t holding up, time isn’t after us
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was (I couldn’t get no rest)
Same as it ever was, hey let’s all twist our thumbs
Here comes the twister
Letting the days go by (same as it ever was, same as it ever was)
Letting the days go by (same as it ever was, same as it ever was)
Once in a lifetime, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Songwriters: David Byrne / Phoebe Esprit / Tina Weymouth / Jerry Harrison / Christopher Frantz / Brian Peter George Eno / Ronald Amanze
Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 4.18 “The Sweat Smell of Success”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC from 1975 to 1979. The entire show can be purchased on Prime.
Buchanan High is in chaos! Only one man can save the day but he’s not around anymore.
Episode 4.18 “The Sweat Smell of Success”
(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on March 3rd, 1979)
Where is Mr. Kotter!?
I mean, don’t get me wrong. I know why Gabe Kaplan was hardly ever on the show during the fourth season. He was annoyed that the network refused to allow the Sweathogs to graduate from Buchanan High, despite the fact that the actors playing the Sweathogs were all in their late 20s and early 30s. He was not happy about working with Marcia Strassman. And he was shooting a movie for a good deal of the fourth season. Kaplan felt that he moved on from the series and as such, he allowed his character to become vice principal and kept his appearances on the show to a minimum,
But, in the narrative of the show, where is Mr. Kotter? Usually, someone will mention that he’s out of town or busy with school business. In this episode, he isn’t even mentioned. It’s kind of disturbing how he’s vanished and no one seems to care. The Sweathogs need his guidance and this episode, as dumb as it was, features a plot that feels like it would have been perfect for Mr. Kotter’s corny jokes and gentle mentoring. Even more importantly …. who is the song welcoming back? Kotter’s gone! He’s not around to be welcomed back!
As for this week’s episodes, it appears that the show’s writers finally remembered that, at the start of the season, each of the Sweathogs was assigned a job around the school. Freddie and Horshack run the school store. Meanwhile, Epstein is in charge of the audio visual department. But he sucks at his job so Woodman reassigns him to the school paper. Horshack’s girlfriend, Mary Johnson, edits and writes the paper and is very earnest in her efforts to make the paper something worth reading. That’s quite a chance from the Mary who tried to kill herself just a few episodes ago.
Anyway, Epstein turns the paper into a tabloid. He suggests that Julie is having an affair with Woodman. (“She’s not my type!” Woodman declares, “Too tall!”) He writes about Freddie Washington wore diapers until he was six months old. Epstein describes Horshack as being a diva. Epstein says that Beau is a member of the Ku Klux Klan. He says….
WAIT! WHAT!?
Okay, one of these stories is far worse than the others. Washington did wear diapers when he was a baby and Horshack is a diva and Julie probably is cheating on Gabe. But Beau is a member of the Klan? Where did this come from? “I’m going to need a police escort to go home tonight,” Beau says while the audience laughs.
Seriously, don’t just toss around Klan accusations, folks. It’s just common sense.
Anyway, Epstein’s friends get mad at him so Epstein quits the paper after publishing an expose of himself on the front page. He returns to the audio visual department. He still sucks at his job and I guess Mary is back to having to write, edit, and publish the entire newspaper by herself. Is this a happy ending?
Well, at least Beau didn’t get killed.
Next week, it’s time for the school talent show! Wow, Mr. Kotter would have loved that. RIP.
Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.13 “Family History”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!
Usually, I review this show on Friday but, yesterday, my week of visiting Lake Texoma in freezing weather finally caught up with me and I spent most of the day congested and curled up in bed. As a result, St. Elsewhere got preempted until today. Now, let’s see what’s happening at St. Eligius….
Episode 1.13 “Family History”
(Dir by Kevin Hooks, originally aired on February 8th, 1983)
After being a background character for the past few episodes, Dr. Wendy Armstrong (Kim Miyori) finally gets her time in the spotlight with this episode. When Charlie Heller (Keenan Wynn) comes into the ER with a chronic nosebleed, Dr. Armstrong is too quick to assume that it’s nothing serious. Dr. Westphall, who is in an especially crappy mood this episode, reprimands her for not getting a family history before making her diagnosis. A chastened Armstrong gets Charlie’s family history and comes to suspect that he has a rare blood condition that only seems to effect Jewish men. A very expensive test confirms Armstrong’s diagnosis. Armstrong is excited. “I was right!” she says. Westphall again reprimands her, telling her that she now needs to tell Charlie that he has a chronic condition and will have to take medicine for the rest of his life.
Seriously, Westphall was not in a good mood during this episode! But I don’t blame him. From her first appearance on the show, Dr. Armstrong has been complaining nonstop. No matter what happens in the hospital, she seems to take it as a personal affront. Now, after several episodes of complaining about the other doctors, Armstrong fails to do a simple thing like get a family history. No wonder Westphall was all like, What are you bragging about?
That said, even if his mood was understandable, I would not want to get on Westphall’s bad side. Even after Armstrong makes the correct diagnosis, Westphall takes the time to say, “Next time, do what I told you to do.” Agck!
While Westphall was dealing with whatever was eating away at him, Dr. Chandler was getting annoyed by John Doe’s refusal to try to remember anything about his past. Even when John Doe’s real father showed up and explained that Doe was his son, Dave Stewart, he refused to try to remember anything. Eventually, Chandler snapped at Dave for refusing to even try. Chandler, of course, is played by a young Denzel Washington so, when he gets mad, it’s like having the voice of God call you out. After Chandler’s reprimand, Dave finally makes an effort to remember his past. He realizes that, when he was shot, he had a vision of his deceased mother welcoming him to heaven. Awwww!
Dr. Craig’s friend has his gender affirmation surgery. Crag met his friend’s lover, a trans man. Needless to say, this episode featured a lot of scenes of Craig rolling his eyes as he struggled to come to terms with everything he was learning about his old friend. It was all pretty predictable but William Daniels did a great job playing up Craig’s confusion and single-mindedness.
And finally, Peter was happy because his wife wanted to get back together. I get the feeling any happiness Peter feels is destined to always be temporary.
This episode was a bit uneven. Armstrong’s story would have been compelling if Armstrong herself was a more interesting character. The highlight of the episode were the scenes between Denzel Washington’s doctor and Tom Hulce’s amnesiac. It’s always enjoyable to watch two good actors perform opposite of each other.
Next week, the great Norman Lloyd takes center stage as Auschlander’s cancer returns.
Music Video of the Day: Big Ben Beat by Kim Deal (2025, dir by Richard Ayoade)
Today’s music video of the day is the latest from the great Kim Deal!
Enjoy!
GANG WAR (1958) – a young Charles Bronson testifies against the mob!
Charles Bronson starred in four movies and one TV show in 1958. Two of those movies were produced by Harold Knox, written by Louis Vittes, and directed by Gene Fowler, Jr. The first of the two films was SHOWDOWN AT BOOT HILL, an excellent low budget western that featured Bronson as a bounty hunter with a chip on his shoulder and love in his heart. The second film was GANG WAR.
In GANG WAR, Charles Bronson plays Alan Avery, a high school teacher in Los Angeles who’s walking home one night and happens to witness a gangland killing. He calls the police to report the murder, but he doesn’t want to get any further involved so he doesn’t give them his name. Avery was on his way home from a trip to the pharmacy where he had picked up a prescription for his pregnant wife (Gloria Henry) who is suffering from migraines. In the stress of the moment, he left the pharmacy sack in the phone booth and the police are able to track him down to his home. After being pressed by the police, Avery reluctantly agrees to testify. He’s a great witness as he’s able to give the police a description of the car and its license plate number. His information leads to the arrest of Joe Reno, the second in command to mobster Maxie Meadows (John Doucette). Maxie sends his attorney Bryce Barker (Kent Taylor) over to the police station to see Captain Finch. Finch happens to be on Maxie’s payroll, and he immediately tells Barker about the witness. He even leaks it to the press so they can run a story revealing Avery’s name and address. Maxie would prefer to buy Avery’s silence, but he also wants a little insurance, so he sends his punch drunk henchman Chester over to slap around Avery’s wife. This order is akin to asking Lennie Small from OF MICE AND MEN to go play with some puppies. Simple-minded Chester proceeds to kill Mrs. Avery. When Avery comes home and finds his wife dead, he heads directly to Maxie’s house to kill him. The cab driver who took Avery to Maxie’s place just happened to see his gun, so he called the cops. Just before Avery can squeeze off a kill shot, the police show up and arrest him. Pissed that Avery was able to get so close to killing him, Meadows puts an actual hit out on him this time. Will the high school teacher be able to survive his battle against the mob?!!
(Note: The analysis below ventures into spoiler territory for both GANG WAR and SHOWDOWN AT BOOT HILL. You may want to watch these films prior to reading the rest of the review.)
As a lifelong fan of Charles Bronson, I really appreciate his work with director Gene Fowler, Jr. in 1958. Fowler recognized Bronson’s charismatic screen presence, but he also recognized something deeper in the legendary icon… his heart. SHOWDOWN AT BOOT HILL seemed to be giving us Bronson as a typical western hero, only to reverse course and turn Bronson into a romantic lead who would choose to throw down his guns so he could establish roots in a community and spend his life with the woman he loves. In a similar way, GANG WAR seems to be setting Bronson up to be a vigilante, not much different than the type of character he would be portraying throughout the 70’s and 80’s. But when 70’s and 80’s Bronson would be pulling his trigger, Fowler presents a more thoughtful Bronson who recognizes that the best revenge can sometimes be in letting someone live with the consequences of their own decisions. This allows him to lower his gun, walk away and continue his life free of the guilt and the legal consequences that would undoubtedly come with taking another person’s life. This decision honors his wife’s legacy much more than murder and a lifetime in jail ever would.
There are many good performances in this little gem. Bronson may not have been a “star” when this film was made, but there is no doubt that he was ready. He simply commands every frame that he appears in from the beginning to the end. John Doucette and Kent Taylor are also memorable as the gangster and his paid off lawyer, respectively. Doucette’s Maxie Meadows is certainly a stereotype of the gangsters in TV’s and movies at the time, but he plays the part well, saving his very best for his last moments of the film. Kent Taylor has the movie’s best story arc. When we meet him, he’s an alcoholic who can’t stand what he’s allowed himself to become, yet he continues to run every time Maxie calls. It’s a strong moment when he decides he won’t do it anymore. And Jennifer Holden is simply gorgeous as Marie, Maxie’s woman. Speaking of nice scenery, it was also fun seeing a Los Angeles that included landmarks like the Capitol Records Building and the old Nickodell Restaurant. So much of the action in GANG WAR takes place against these iconic backdrops, and for a guy who’s never been to LA, seeing these places again almost makes me feel like a resident.
Overall, while GANG WAR does feel like an old fashioned 50’s movie, it has plenty of things to recommend it, not the least of which is an excellent performance from a young Charles Bronson. At a 75 minute run time, it’s definitely worth a viewing.
The trailer for GANG WAR is presented below:
Music Video of the Day: Loud Mouth Woman by Emily Zeck (2025, dir by Chad Crawford and chuckmylord)
I love the look of this video. Production design is so underrated.
Enjoy!
Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 3.14 “All That Glitters”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!
This week, a conman seeks refuge in a church.
Episode 3.14 “All that Glitters”
(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on January 7th, 1987)
There’s a fire raging in the city and elderly homeowners are being forced to evacuate. “Father” Jonathan and “Father” Mark open up an abandoned church so that the people have some place to stay while the fires are burning. Good for them and also good for this show for finally acknowledging Catholicism.
Also hiding out in the church and disguised as a priest is Charley Trapola (John Pleshette), a con artist who, despite his criminal profession, actually has a good heart. Charley has a briefcase with him, one that is full of money. A group of criminals want the briefcase back but, at least initially, they know better than to try anything in the church. Instead, they decide to wait for Charley to come out. Inside the church, Charley gets to know Wanda (Didi Conn), a shy but kind-hearted woman who goes to Confession every day.
This episode was okay. Usually, when Jonathan and Mark go undercover as clergyman, they’re portrayed as being wishy-washy Episcopalians or vaguely liberal Methodists so I was happy that they were Catholic for this episode. John Pleshette and Didi Conn were both well-cast as this episode’s guest stars. They eventually made for a very sweet and likable couple. My main issue with this episode is that it tried to do a bit too much. Not only did we have Charley being chased by the gangsters but we also had Wanda dealing with her shyness and Mark and Jonathan dealing with the people were seeking shelter and looking for their loved ones. This episode — and not that weird marriage counseling episode — would have benefitted from an extra hour. As it was, it just felt a bit overstuffed. As well, this is another episode in which Jonathan reveals early on that he’s angel and, oddly enough, Charley has no hesitation about believing him. I always prefer the episodes where Jonathan doesn’t reveal who he really is. When Jonathan reveals that he’s an angel, it almost seems like cheating. The show is always more effective when people decide to open up their hearts on their own as opposed to doing so because they feel they’ve been ordered to.
There’s an odd scene where the three thugs break into the church and pull a gun on Jonathan. After Jonathan gives them fair warning about “the boss,” the main thug attempts to shoot Jonathan. Needless to say, the bullets don’t have any effect on an angel. However, a sudden blue lights fills the church and suddenly, the three men are apparently zapped out of existence. Jonathan later jokes that he’s not sure where the three men are but that they probably aren’t happy. So, did the three men go straight to Hell? Are they dead? I understand the logic behind the scene but it’s not really something you expect from a show where the main theme is usually that everyone has a chance for redemption.
Next week, Dick Van Dyke plays a homeless puppeteer …. uh oh. This sounds like it could a little bit cringey …. well, we’ll see.
14 Days of Paranoia #6: The Player (dir by Robert Altman)
1992’s The Player tells the story of Griffin Mill (Tim Robbins).
It’s not easy being Griffin Mill. From the outside, of course, it looks like he has the perfect life. He’s a studio executive with a nice house in Hollywood. He’s young. He’s up-and-coming. Some people, especially Griffin, suspect that he’ll be the president of the studio some day. By day, he sits in his office and listens to pitches from respected screenwriters like Buck Henry. (Henry has a great idea for The Graduate II!) During the afternoon, he might attends dailies and watch endless takes of actors like Scott Glenn and Lily Tomlin arguing with each other. Or he might go to lunch and take a minute to say hello to Burt Reynolds. (“Asshole,” Burt says as Griffin walks away.) At night, he might go to a nice party in a big mansion and mingle with actors who are both young and old. He might even run into and share some sharp words with Malcolm McDowell.
But Griffin’s life isn’t as easy as it seems. He’s constantly worried about his position in the studio, knowing that one box office failure could end his career. He fears that a new executive named Larry Levy (Peter Gallagher) is after his job. Two new screenwriters (Richard E. Grant and Dean Stockwell) keep bugging him to produce their downbeat, no-stars anti-capitol punishment film. His girlfriend (Cynthia Stevenson) wants to make good movies that mean something. Even worse, someone is sending Griffin threatening notes.
It doesn’t take long for Griffin to decide that the notes are coming from a screenwriter named Dave Kahane (Vincent D’Onofrio). Griffin’s attempt to arrange a meeting with Dave at a bar so that Griffin can offer him a production deal instead leads to Griffin murdering Dave in a parking lot. While the other writers in Hollywood mourn Dave’s death, Griffin starts a relationship with Dave’s artist girlfriend (Great Scacchi) and tried to hide his guilt from two investigating detectives (Whoopi Goldberg and Lyle Lovett). Worst of all, the notes keep coming. The writer, whomever they may be, is now not only threatening Griffin but also seems to know what Griffin did.
After spend more than a decade in the industry wilderness, Robert Altman made a critical and commercial comeback with The Player. It’s a satire of Hollywood but it’s also a celebration of the film industry, featuring 60 celebrities cameoing as themselves. Everyone, it seems, wanted to appear in a movie that portrayed studio execs as being sociopathic and screenwriters as being whiny and kind of annoying. The Player both loves and ridicules Hollywood and the often anonymous men who run the industry. Largely motivated by greed and self-preservation, Griffin may not love movies but he certainly loves controlling what the public sees. In the end, only one character in The Player sticks to her values and her ideals and, by the end of the movie, she’s out of a job. At the same time, Griffin has a social life that those in the audience can’t help but envy. He can’t step out of his office without running into someone famous.
The Player is one Altman’s most entertaining films, with the camera continually tracking from one location to another and giving as a vision of Hollywood that feels very much alive. Tim Robbins gives one of his best performances as Griffin Mill and Altman surrounds him with a great supporting cast. I especially liked Fred Ward as the studio’s head of security. With The Player, Altman mixes melodrama with a sharp and sometimes bizarre comedy, with dialogue so snappy that the film is as much a joy to listen to as to watch. That said, the real attraction of the film is spotting all of the celebrity cameos. (That and cheering when Bruce Willis saves Julia Roberts from certain death.) Altman was a director who often used his films to explore eccentric communities. With The Player, he opened up his own home.
Previous entries in 2025’s 14 Days Of Paranoia:
Through the Shattered Lens 