Retro Television Reviews: T and T 1.5 “The Drop” and 1.6 “Something In The Air”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990.  The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, Mr. T takes on drug dealers and mad bombers!

Episode 1.5 “The Drop”

(Dir by Allan Kroeker, originally aired on February 8th, 1988)

“In this episode,” Mr. T tells us, “a kid’s life is shattered when he’s arrested for dealing drugs.  Amy and I try to pick the pieces, with some unexpected help from Renee!”

This episode begins with one of my favorite cop show clichés.  A suspected drug courier is grabbed by two cops.  They open the envelope that he was carrying and discover a white powder.  One of the cops puts some of the power on her fingers and then sticks her fingers in her mouth.

“High grade crack!” she announced.

Hey, just be happy it wasn’t anthrax!

In this case, the accused courier is a 14 year-old named Norm (Gerry Musgrave), who says that he has no idea what was in the envelopes and he was only carrying them because he answered a classified ad asking for delivery people.  However, the prosecution is determined to send a message by trying Norm as an adult!  Fortunately, Norm is friends with T.S.’s goddaughter, Renee (Rachael Crawford).  Renee brings T.S. and Amy onto the case.

“Loosen up, brother, you already convinced us,” T.S. tells Norm, “Now we just got to the convince the court.”

Norm moves into T.S.’s home, where he is looked after by the gospel-singing Aunt Martha (Jackie Robinson).  While Jackie helps Norm get settled in, Renee approaches T.S. and says, “I’ve seen the ads on crack.  I know what it does.”

“And you want to help Norm,” T.S. says, “Don’t get involved!  People dealing drugs are very dangerous!”

Renee does not take T.S.’s advice and instead, approaches the school drug dealer, Bob Douglas (Jeremy Ratchford).  She compliments Bob on his red trans am and Bob invites her to meet up with him at a local disco.  Renee’s friends tell her that she might be making a mistake but Renee snaps that she can’t look the other way like everyone else at school.

While Renee skips class so she can meet up with Bob at the most depressing nightclub I’ve ever seen (seriously, there’s just one very sad disco ball hanging over the dance floor), T.S. meets with Fat Sam, who is not fat and who is played by future television director Clark Johnson!  (As an actor, Johnson is probably best-known for playing Meldrick Lewis on Homicide and later Gus Johnson on The Wire.)

“Fat Sam,” T.S. says, “you’re the coolest dude I know!”

“As long as the dice keep rolling my way,” Fat Sam replies, “Rumor on the street has it that you’re looking for a specific crack dealer.”

“Be honest with you, Fat Sam,” T.S. replies, “I want to bust all the crack dealers but I want this one first.”

Fat Sam makes some phone calls and tells T.S. that the crack dealer he’s looking for is …. BOB DOUGLAS!

“Thanks, Fat Sam, I owe you one,” T.S. replies.

Meanwhile, Bob Douglas has taken Renee to his loft apartment!  When Bob discovers the Renee has been searching his apartment while he was distracted, Bob has a paranoid breakdown, accuses Renee of being a narc, and makes a run for it.  Fortunately, T.S. and Amy show up in time to catch him and clear Norm’s name!  Yay!

This episode suffered a bit because, for all the build-up, it turned out that all Amy and T.S. needed to do to prove Norm’s innocence was to get Fat Sam to make one phone call.  It felt a bit anticlimactic, to say the least.  This is a case where the limits of that 30-minute running time really worked against the story the show was trying to tell.  That said, Mr. T growling against crack is always enjoyable to watch.

Episode 1.6 “Something In The Air”

(Dir by Allan A. Goldstein, originally aired on February 15th, 1988)

“In this episode,” Mr. T tell us, “a radio DJ is the target of an angry phone caller.  While Amy fights to keep the D.J. on the air, I get to make a few calls of my own.”

After radio DJ PJ Reynolds (Lee Curreri) encourages his listeners to “take it to the streets,” one of his listeners blows up a mailbox.  The district attorney wants to take Reynolds off the air!  Fortunately, Reynold is a client of Amy Taler’s!  When Louney (Neil Munro), the smarmy D.A. tries to convince Amy and T.S. to deliver a court summons to the DJ, T.S. replies, “Sorry, brother.  We ain’t a delivery service!”

Because there’s only one explosives dealer in all of Canada, Turner confronts his friend Whisperer (Martin Donlevy) and demands to know who he has been selling to.  Whisperer says that he sold a timer to a man who said that he wanted to take down Reynolds.  “He sounded like someone who was used to getting what he wants.”  Somehow, T.S. figures that this means Louney is behind the bombings.  Turner needs Louney to call the show again but Reynolds has voluntarily taken himself off the air.

“Let’s talk responsibility,” Turner snaps at the DJ, “That’s the big talk!”

Convined that he has a responsibility, Reynolds goes back on the air and Louney can’t help but call him.  Though Louney hangs up before the police can trace the call, T.S. is staking out Louney’s house and, as soon as Louney steps outside with a briefcase bomb, Turner goes after him.  It leads to a car chase that ends with T.S. capturing Louney and forcing to Louney to defuse his latest bomb right before it detonates.

A grateful PJ promises that, from now on, he’s going to be “Mr. Mellow” on the air.  When Amy says she doesn’t think it’ll happen, PJ says, “You’ll have to tune in and see.”

“Not me, brother,” T.S. replies, “I’m going to stick to my TV …. it’s my favorite medium!”

I liked this episode because it stood up for free speech.  Any show that exposes a power-crazed bureaucrat, I’m going to enjoy.

Next week, Amy and T.S. search for …. THE SILVER ANGEL!

Retro Television Reviews: City Guys 5.25 “And Then There Were None” and 5.26 “Al’s In Toyland”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, City Guys finally comes to an end.

Episode 5.25 “And Then There Were None”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on December 8th, 2001)

Having graduated from Manny High, the gang (and Ms. Noble!) gather together at the Manhattan Diner so that they can remember all of the adventures they had over the past five years of high school.  I can understand a group of high school friends wanting to get together for one last time before going to college but what is the principal doing there?  I mean, Ms. Noble has retired.  Why isn’t she hanging out with her husband?  Why isn’t she in the Hamptons?  WHY IS SHE STILL HANGING OUT WITH THESE KIDS!?

Anyway, as you may have guessed, this is a clip show.  We get clips of Dawn crusading for the environment during the first season and then a scene of her getting drunk at Chris’s penthouse.  And then we get a clip of that weird time that Ms. Noble tricked L-Train into thinking she couldn’t walk.  We relive a few of the times that Al and L-Train did something stupid.  Cassidy remembers some cringey radio drama that she did with Chris and Jamal and, for some reason, she also remembers Chris’s terrible Austin Powers impersonation.  Finally, Chris and Jamal remember their stupid radio show.  After everyone has left, Chris and Jamal share one final embrace and then Chris leaves Manhattan Diner.  Jamal stands at the booth alone and …. wow, that’s kind of depressing.

In general, I loathe clip shows but I usually make an exception if they are a part of a series finale.  City Guys is a show that I grew tired of reviewing about halfway through the 4th season but the finale actually was kind of touching.  If nothing else, the cast themselves seemed to be genuinely emotional about filming their final scenes together.

However, this effective episode was not the final episode of City Guys to air.  There was one more episode to go….

Episode 5.26 “Al’s In Toyland”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on December 15th, 2001)

As I’ve often said while reviewing both City Guys and Hang Time, NBC didn’t really pay much attention to little things like showing episodes in the order in which they were supposed to be seen.  Nowhere is this more evident than with the final episode City Guys, which finds the gang back in high school despite having graduated and left for college in the previous episodes.  This is because Al In Toyland was not meant to be the series finale.  It was meant to air earlier in the season but it was pushed back because of the terrorist attacks on September 11th, 2001.

This episode opens by reminding us that Ms. Noble is a monster as she announces that she has signed Jamal, Chris, L-Train, Dawn, and Cassidy up for the marching band without telling them ahead of time.  She explains that they all need an elective arts credit.  (Cassidy has appeared off-Broadway but somehow doesn’t have an elective arts credit?)  The band, of course, practices on the roof of the school and the gang is horrified to discover how uncool the band kids are.

Why isn’t Al in the band?  It’s because he’s working in advertising!  The president of Snappy Toys has hired Al to do commercials for him because he was impressed by Al’s suggestion that “Snappy Toys Ain’t Just For Kids No more” could be their new slogan.  Somehow, this leads to L-Train starring in a commercial.  I mean, it’s strange enough that a company would put Al in charge of their advertising but why would they hire L-Train to star in their commercial?

Snappy Toys asks Al to develop a campaign for a toy gun known as the Annihilator.  L-Train tells a story about a friend of his who entered a store with a toy gun and got shot by the owner.  Al promises that he’ll develop a non-violent commercial for the gun but his boss says that he wants the commercial to look like the “opening scene of Scream!”

While Al works on his advertising career, Chris, Jamal, Dawn, Cassidy, and L-Train discover that the band kids really know how to party.  In fact, they’re throwing a rave …. on the roof of the school!  It turns out that the band has very high standards and, after a pep rally, they kick Chris, Jamal, Dawn, Cassidy, and L-Train out of the band for just not being cool enough.  I guess they listened to Chris and Jamal’s radio show.

Meanwhile, Al sees his younger sibling playing with the guns and pretending to be dead.  He decides that he can’t work for Snappy Toys.  He quits but his boss assures him that, “a kid like you, who stands up for what he believes in — you have a great future.”

And so ends City Guys!  And, to be honest, Al’s In Toyland wasn’t a terrible episode.  I liked the fact that Al’s boss was not portrayed as being some sort of sleazy, money-crazed villain but instead just as a reasonable businessman making business decisions.  And I even liked the band subplot, if just because it featured all of the main characters being put in their place for once.

What is left to say about City GuysCity Guys was the show that I used to launch Reto Television Reviews.  I’ve been watching and reviewing the show for nearly a year.  At first, I kind of enjoyed the show and then I got kind of annoyed the show and, by the fifth season, I think it was pretty obvious that I was ready to be done with it.  That said, I do feel a little emotional saying goodbye to it.  City Guys was a show that had a few good moments, though it never really escaped the shadow of better Peter Engel-produced shows like California Dreams and Saved By The Bell.

Next week, we’ll be starting a look at a new show on Thursday.  Here’s a preview:

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 3.3 “The Grass Is Greener/Three Stages of Love/Oldies But Goodies”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

For this week’s cruise, Julie learns that she’s not the only person who can do her job!

Episode 3.3 “The Grass is Greener/Three Stages of Love/Oldies But Goodies”

(Dir by Alan Rafkin, originally aired on September 22nd, 1979)

This week, Julie is super excited when her friend, Tina Philips (Joan Hackett), boards the cruise with her young son, Brian (Adam Rich).  Tina and Julie went to cruise director school together, where they were both taught by none other than Captain Stubing.

(As I’ve mentioned before, there have been a lot of weird continuity issues with establishing just how long anyone had actually known Captain Stubing.  During the first season, everyone was unsure of what to make of Captain Stubing and none of them had any experience sailing with him.  But, in the second season, Stubing was suddenly celebrating his five year anniversary as the ship’s captain.  And, in this episode, Stubing is established as being Julie’s mentor.)

Tina had a crush on Stubing while she was a student and Stubing had a bit of a crush on her as well.  Though Tina could have had a great career as a cruise director, she decided to get married and settle down instead.  Now, with her marriage falling apart, Tina boards the boat and immediately starts giving Stubing and Julie advice.  Julie, meanwhile, takes care of Brian while Tina dances with the captain.  Tina lives Julie’s life and Julie lives the life she could have had if she had stayed in Alaska and gotten married.  It turns out that Julie’s a great substitute mom but Tina is a terrible substitute cruise director.  Her idea of throwing a sock hop is a huge bust and, to be honest, it does seem a bit childish for a luxury cruise.  In the end, Tina returns to being a single mom and Julie returns to being childless and career-driven.  Yay, I guess.

Meanwhile, Nora (Amanda Blake) boards the ship with her daughter, Daphne (Karen Morrow).  Daphne is determined to marry a millionaire but Nora is the one who finds love when she meets the wheelchair-bound Phillip (Barry Sullivan).  Unfortunately, Phillip’s stuffy valet, Perkins (Werner Klemperer), insists that Philip needs to stay in his cabin and watch his blood pressure.  Fear not, though.  Daphne finds a millionaire and the millionaire hires away Perkins so now Phillip and Nora are free to have fun.  Yay!

(Though, really, Phillip should keep an eye on his blood pressure….)

Finally, Mike (Eddie Mekka) and Robin (Lani O’Grady) seems like a perfect couple, except for the fact that Mike is convinced that all relationships go through three stages before ending and he has an annoying habit of saying stuff like, “We’ve just entered stage two!”  Robin gets tired of Mike and his cynicism and eventually, Mike decides to give love a try because …. well, I’m not sure why.  I think it was because the episode was nearly over.

This episode was pleasant but, ultimately, rather forgettable.  Nora and Phillip were a nice couple but Perkins was portrayed in an over-the=top villainous light, especially when one considers that he was just doing the job he was hired to do.  Mike and Robin seemed like they were still destined to break up, even as they left the ship in love.  I did enjoy the scenes in which Tina’s sock hop party turned out to be a bust, just because it seemed like a dumb idea from the minute she mentioned it.  That said, the main message of this episode seemed to be that having a family and career were two mutually exclusive things, which I certainly did not agree with.

Again, this was not necessarily a bad episode.  It was just kind of a bland one.

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 3.11 “The Mermaid/The Victim”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  Almost entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube!

Smiles!

Episode 3.11 “The Mermaid/The Victim”

(Dir by Earl Bellamy, originally aired on December 1st, 1979)

This week, Fantasy Island suddenly becomes the most dangerous place on Earth.

Julie Bett (Joan Prather) comes to the island with a simple fantasy.  She wants a date — just one date — with a man that she met briefly four years ago.  Mr. Roarke asks Julie if perhaps she has overidealized her memories of Michael Duvall (James Darren).  Julie says no and that Michael is the ideal man.  Roarke reveals that Duvall lives on a nearby island where Roarke has no legal authority.  Julie says that fine, since the date will be on Fantasy Island.  Roarke reveals that Duvall is usually not allowed to step foot on Fantasy Island because of his shady reputation.  Julie replies that there’s nothing shady about Michael Duvall.  Roarke finally allows Duvall to come to Fantasy Island for the date.

Of course, within minutes of arriving, Duvall has drugged Julie’s drink and then whisked her back to his own island.  It turns out that Michael Duvall is a Jeffrey Epstein-style human trafficker and his estate doubles as a prison for the women that he had abducted.  His evil assistant, Madame Jeannot (Yvonne DeCarlo), announces that there is no way that Julie can escape and, to prove her point, she introduces Julie to Annie (Cathryn O’Neil), who tried to escape and was severely beaten as a result.

Julie tries to rally the other prisoners (including Dorothy Stratten, who would be murdered 8 months after this episode aired) to fight back against Duvall, Jeannot, and their servant.  If her rebellion fails, Julie knows that she’ll never be seen again….

Meanwhile, oceanographer Harold DeHaven (John Saxon) has come to Fantasy Island with his wife, Amanda (Mary Ann Mobley).  Harold and Amanda have a troubled marriage, largely because Harold is too obsessed with his work and his desire to make a major discovery of some sort.  No sooner has Harold started walking along the beach then he comes across a mermaid!  Princess Nyah (Michelle Phillips) is apparently a well-known figure on Fantasy Island and, at one point, Roarke even confronts Nyah about her history of trying to lure the guests to their deaths.  Can Amanda prevent her husband from drowning in his attempt to be with Princess Nyah?

(This episodes leaves us to wonder just what exactly Fantasy Island’s legal liability would be if someone died as a result of their fantasy.  Seriously, it seems like Mr. Roarke has really left himself vulnerable to a lawsuit.)

Anyway, Julie and the other kidnapped women manage to escape from Duvall’s estate, just to find Mr. Roarke and a bunch of policemen waiting for them.  Roarke explains that he knew what Duvall was doing but he needed proof before he could contact that authorities.  Julie provided the proof.  Essentially, Roarke is saying that he put Julie’s life at risk to take down Duvall but Julie and the other women seem to be amused by the whole thing.  Everyone smiles as Mr. Roarke says that he’ll take them back to Fantasy Island.  I guess PTSD doesn’t exist on the islands.

Meanwhile, Amanda’s efforts to keep Harold from swimming off with Nyah nearly leads to Amanda drowning.  Seeing his wife risk her life for him, Harold realizes that he really does love Amanda and both he and Amanda return to dry land.  Disappointed, Nyah swims off.

Yay!  Everyone lived!  As they all left the Island, no one seemed to be the least bit traumatized by nearly dying.  At the plane flies away, Roarke suggest that Nyah’s new target might be Tattoo.  “Be serious, boss,” Tattoo, “I can’t even swim.”  The thought of his assistant dying a terrible death from drowning cause Roarke to laugh out loud as the end credits roll.

There was a weird episode and compulsively watchable as a result.  Seriously, how do you not love John Saxon following Michelle Phillips into water?  That said, Fantasy Island seems like a very dangerous place.

Retro Television Review: Hang Time 6.7 “Life 101” and 6.8 “Secrets and Lies”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Hang Time, which ran on NBC from 1995 to 2000.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Hammer returns!

Episode 6.7 “Life 101”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on November 4th, 2000)

Hammer returns during this episode but, before we discuss that, let’s get the dumb B-plot out of the way.  Coach K, is going out of town so he assigns Antonio to look after his dog, a chihuahua named Killer.  (What was the deal with both of the coaches always asking their dumb players to look after their pets, cars, and houses?)  Antonio and the boys lose Killer at the mall.  However, they then see a little girl named Susie adopting a chihuahua on television.  Assuming that the girl has adopted Killer, they bribe the girl with toys to get the dog.  When they give the dog to the Coach, he immeidately sees that it’s not Killer because it’s a girl and not a boy.

Uh-oh!

No worries, though.  It turns out that the woman who found Killer saw a flyer that the boys put up and she shows up at the gym with Killer.  She asks Coach K out on a date.  “Woooooo!” the audience shouts.  As I wrote earliier, it was all pretty dumb but at least the dog was cute.

Meanwhile, Hammer (Mark Famiglietti) returns to Indiana from North Carolina!  Mary Beth is so excited!  Hammer explains that he’s not sure he wants to attend Duke.  (I thought Hammer was attending Duke but apparently, he was just in some sort of Duke-affiliated prep school or something.)  Hammer says that Duke might not have a spot for him on the team so he decides to apply to UCLA with Mary Beth and Kristy.

Mary Beth and Kristy get into UCLA!  Yay!

Hammer does not.  Boooo!

Hammer pressures Mary Beth to turn down UCLA and go to the University of Indiana with him.  Hammer, what happened to you!?

Mary Beth agrees but then Hammer learns that Duke does want him to play basketball so he decides he’s going to go Duke anyway and that Mary Beth should come with him.  “You want me to move to North Carolina!?” a shocked Mary Beth says.  (Uhmm, it’s better than freaking Indiana.)  Mary Beth and Hammer break up and Mary Beth decides to go to UCLA afterall.

I guess it’s good that Mary Beth is finally going to graduate from high school but this episode still bothered me.  Bringing back Hammer was cool.  Having him come back with a totally different personality from the one he had when he was previously on the show was not cool.  That just felt like lazy writing.

Let’s move on.

Episode 6.8 “Secrets and Lies”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on November 11th, 2000)

It’s championship time again!

Actually, it was championship time last season.  Seasons 5 and 6 were filmed at the same time and were originally intended to be a part of one big, final season.  NBC decided to not only split the season in two but they also rearranged the order of the episodes, leading to all sorts of continuity confusion.  The tournament that we see the Tornadoes playing at the University of Indiana was originally meant to be a part of the championship story arc that was featured in season 5.  (That storyline, of course, ended with the previously undefeated Tornadoes losing in an upset and learning about humility.)  Instead of airing where it was originally meant to air, this tournament episode somewhat randomly pops up in the middle of season 6.

As for this episode, it’s a mix of the serious and the seriously stupid.  The seriously stupid part of the episode finds Eugene and Silk being led astray by two cheerleaders who steal their uniforms, lock them in a locker room, and try to keep them from playing in the big game.  It doesn’t work, of course.  Silk and Eugene end up tumbling out of an air conditioning duct and landing in the middle of the gym.  The important thing is that they get to play and no one asks why they were wandering around a duct while half-naked in the first place.

As for the serious storyline, it features Mary Beth meeting Brett, a handsome guy who is writing a story for his school’s newspaper.  He takes Mary Beth and the team out to a bar and, in a backroom, attempts to force himself on Mary Beth.  While Mary Beth gets away from him, Brett still threatens to reveal that the team was at a bar if she dares to say anything about what he tried to do.  However, when Mary Beth sees Brett talking to another girl and trying to lead her to a backroom, she realizes that she can’t be quiet.  Brett gets arrested but not before Coach K threatened to rip him from limb to limb.

This was a good episode, solely due to the Mary Beth storyline, which was well-acted and had a valuable message.  When Dick Butkus threatened Brett, you never had any doubt that he meant every word of it.  I’ve been a bit critical of Dick Butkus in these reviews but it’s hard to imagine Reggie Theus bringing the same emotional intensity to this episode that Butkus did.  One gets the feeling that Theus would have just made Mary Beth feel guilty for not speaking up immediately.  Dick Butkus, on the other hand, isn’t going to let anyone get away with hurting his students.

Retro Television Reviews: A Great American Tragedy (dir by J. Lee Thompson)


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1972’s A Great American Tragedy!  It  can be viewed on YouTube!

Brad Wilkes (George Kennedy) had a good career, working as an aerospace engineer.  He was able to buy a nice house.  With his wife, Gloria (Vera Miles), he was able to raise a good family.  He was even able to buy a sailboat, one that is the pride of the entire marina.  But then, one day, he’s told that the company is letting him go.

Returning to his home, Brad tells Gloria that he’s lost his job but that everything’s going to be okay because not only does he have a $10,000 pension but he’s sure he can find a new job.  “Of course, I might not be making $35,000 a year….” he says.

(Watching at home, I said, “Pfffft!  I make more than that!”  But, of course, Brad is talking about $35,000 in 1972 money, which would be the equivalent of a quarter of a million today.)

However, Brad soon discovers that getting a new job will not be as easy as he assumed.  It turns out that there are a lot of people out there looking for work and most of them are younger, cheaper, and better educated than Brad.  The bills start to pile up.  His former boss (Robert Mandan) informs Brad that his pension is going to be $7,000 less than he thought.  Brad forces himself to go down to the unemployment office so that he can collect $25 a week and then suffers the humiliation of being offered a loan by his well-meaning son-in-law (played by a youngish James Woods).  Gloria gets a job at the same clothing store where she used to shop and her lecherous boss (Kevin McCarthy) starts to hit on her.

For Brad, the final humiliation comes when he has to sell the boat.  A younger boat owner (Tony Dow, with a huge mustache) puts Brad in contact with a woman named Paula (Natalie Trundy).  Paula wants to buy the boat and, after they take it out on the water, Brad finds himself tempted to cheat on his wife.  It all gets to be too much for Brad and soon, he’s on a plane to Nevada where hopefully one good night at the craps table will be enough to pay his bills….

Watching this film, I found myself feeling very sorry for Brad while, at the same time, becoming very frustrated with him.  On the one hand, his company tossed him out after years of loyal service and then tried to screw him out of his pension.  On the other hand, Brad spent almost the entire movie in denial about how bad things actually were.  It’s one thing to be proud and it’s another to just be stubborn.  Knowing that he has next to no money, Brad still insists on throwing his annual 4th of July party and he even invites his former boss to come over and celebrate.  Brad simply cannot bring himself to admit that his old life is over but really, who can blame him?  He’s not the one who chose to be fired.

A Great American Tragedy was directed by J. Lee Thompson, who also did Cape Fear, The Guns of Navarone, the Planet of the Apes sequels, and several Charles Bronson films.  There are no fight scenes to be found in A Great American Tragedy but Thompson does get good performances from his cast and the film makes great use of George Kennedy’s likability.  The viewer remains sympathetic to Brad, even when he makes mistake after mistake.  A film about a formerly secure family suddenly discovering just how much the economy sucks, A Great American Tragedy remains just as a relevant today as when it was first made.

Retro Television Reviews: Welcome Back Kotter 1.22 “Father Vinnie”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, the first season comes to an end with a surprisingly touching episode.

Episode 1.22 “Father Vinnie”

(Dir by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on February 26th, 1976)

At the apartment, Gabe asks Julie if he’s ever told her about his Uncle Jerry and Aunt June and how, on their 40th wedding anniversary, they took a second honeymoon.  Aunt June was feeling romantic and asked Jerry to bite her neck, just like he did when they were newlyweds.

“Wait a minute,” Jerry replied, “I’ll get my teeth.”

(Gabe comes from a very old family, I’ve noticed.)

At school, Gabe teaches his class about the Russian revolution.  Horshack asks where Kotter “learned all that stuff.”  Gabe replies that he saw Dr. Zhivago four times.  Horshack breaks out into wheezy laughter.  All the Sweathogs are amused but …. WHERE’S BARBARINO!?

Barbarino shows up, just as the bell for lunch is ringing.  Depressed, he barely acknowledges Gabe’s question as to where he’s been.  Instead, he sits down at the classroom window and stares at the rain falling outside.  Epstein tries to cheer him up by reading some his latest “excuse notes.”  They’re all in verse!

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I’ve been home two days with the Spanish flu.”

Freddie reads note that Epstein wrote for him.  “Please excuse me for missing your lecture on mold but I was home sick with a bad head cold.”

Barbarino is not amused.  He explains that he’s just gotten back from the hospital, where his 87 year-old grandmother is dying.  “She’s got a bad case of being old,” Barbarino explains.

The Sweathogs discuss death.  Epstein doesn’t worry about it because he has a note for wherever he goes.  Horshack mentions that he’s against death.  Freddie, always the pragmatist, says that death is something that you have to accept.

Barbarino explains that his grandmother’s dream was always for him to become a priest and now that she’s dying, he has to do it!  The other Sweathogs scoff at the idea and Gabe tells him that not everyone is cut out to be a priest.  Despite not wanting to become a priest himself, Barbarino is stunned by their lack of faith and decides that he is going to become a priest just to show them.

A few days later, in the teacher’s lounge, Mr. Woodman tells Gabe that Barbarino just blessed Epstein’s gym locker and that he’s now walking around the school and telling people that he loves them.  Gabe, however, is depressed because Barbarino’s grandmother has died and now he’s thinking about all the family members that he’s lost and used for material for his stand-up routine.  Woodman mentions that Epstein’s mother died four times over the course of the previous school year.

Gabe asks Woodman if he ever thinks about death.  Woodman replies, “Mot people want to go quickly but not me.  I want to linger.  I want to be a burden to people for as long as possible.”

(As always, John Sylvester White brilliantly portrays Woodman’s mix of bitterness and what appears to be genuine mental instability.  As played by White, Woodman could announce that he had just spent the morning attacking muggers on the subway and it would be a laugh-out-loud funny line.)

Carrying a bible, a much changed Barbarino enters the teacher’s lounge.

Barbarino says that he forgives Gabe for the previous day’s pop quiz.  Gabe tells Barbarino that he doesn’t need to forgive him, he just needs to study.  When Barbarino replies that he no longer needs to study because the Lord is his shepherd, Gabe tells him that he’s taking the religion thing too far.

The next day, in the school hallway, Barbarino interrupts a Sweathog dice game and tells Horshack that he loves him.

“I’ve always been fond of you,” Horshack says.

Barbarino suggests that the Sweathogs should give their money to the poor.

“We are the poor!” Freddie replies.

A blonde named Bambi asks if Barbarino is going to meet her at their usual place “behind the billboard.”  Horshack replies that Barbarino is now a priest.  After an offended Bambi walks away, Barbarino has a meltdown in the school hallway, saying, “I can’t take it!”  Gabe steps out of his classroom and says that maybe he’s not cut out to be celibate.  The other Sweathogs start taunting Barbarino about all of his now ex-girlfriends.  Barbarino realizes that it will be okay for him not to become a priest but he worries about how he’s going to tell his mother.

Epstein writes an excuse note for Barbarino to give to his mother, though he asks Gabe to sign because Epstein has yet to figure out how to forge his signature.  The note reads,  “Dear Mrs. Barbarino, they were shocked when you had a son, because that meant you could not be a nun.  I hope you won’t mind this as a reason but your son Vinnie will not be a priest.  Signed, Epstein’s teacher.”

Back at the apartment, Gabe tells Julie about his Uncle Morris, who was so thrifty that he never gave any money to charity.

And with that, season one ends!  Wisely, Welcome Back, Kotter ended by focusing on Barbarino.  All of the actors playing the Sweathogs were talented and all of them did a good job in the episodes that focused on them but, from the start, John Travolta was clearly the star and Travolta does a pretty good job of capturing both Barbarino’s sweet-natured stupidity and his earnest sincerity in this episode.  It was hard not to be emotionally moved by his desire to make his grandmother’s dying wish come true, even though it wasn’t what he wanted to do with his life.  This was a rare sitcom episode that dealt with religion in an even-handed manner while still remaining funny and non-preachy.  All in all, this was not a bad way to end the first season.

(I have to admit that I wasn’t expecting much from Welcome Back, Kotter but I’ve certainly enjoyed watching and reviewing the first 22 episodes.)

Next week, season two begins!

Retro Television Reviews: T. and T. 1.3 “Settling the Score” and 1.4 “Stowaway”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990.  The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, T.S. Turner confronts the man who framed him!

Episode 1.3 “Settling the Score”

(Dir by Allan Goldstein, originally aired on January 25th, 1988)

“In this episode,” Mr. T tells us before the opening credits, “a young boxer is accused of throwing a fight.  While Amy tries help him clear his name, I get a rematch with the man who sent me to prison.”

The episode opens with T.S. Turner in a very polite Canadian bar, watching a boxing match.  He’s shocked when the favored boxer, “Dancin'” Joe (Louis Ferreira), starts to act groggy and is knocked out in the 2nd round.  The next day, at the courthouse, people are talking about how Joe obviously took a dive.  Amy, however, is busy keeping her latest clients out of jail.

“Hey, Amy,” T.S. asks, “what’s the score today?”

“Justice triumphed,” Amy says, “Suspended sentence.”

Woo hoo!

Amy then asks T.S. about Dancin’ Joe’s boxing lisence.  T.S. reveals that the Commission suspended Dancin’ Joe and now they’re after his friend Decker because Dancin’ Joe trained at Decker’s gym.

“They’re after his lisence, too?” Amy asks.

“No one gets away clean,” T.S. growls.

T.S. thinks that Dancin’ Joe was forced to take a dive by Targon (Steven Makaj), the same gangster who earlier framed T.S. for the beating death of his manager.  T.S. confronts Targon in his bar.  (All gangsters have a bar.)

“A little far from home, aren’t you, Turner?” Targon says.

“Yeah,” T.S. replies, “and traveling don’t improve my temper …. I know you got to Dancin’ Joe.  But this time, you’re going down!  Last night’s fix makes it a whole new ball game.”

(Really, the main pleasure of T. and T. is listening to Mr. T speak.)

Back at the gym, a bruised Dancin’ Joe shows up to tell Decker and T.S. that he didn’t throw the fight.  According to Dancin’ Joe, he suddenly started to feel woozy during the fight.  Maybe Amy can help him get his license back!

This leads to a scene of T.S. Turner, shadowboxing while wearing a pink jumpsuit, and having flashbacks to the time that Targon demanded that he take a dive.  “T.S. Turner ain’t going in the tank!” T.S. declared before knocking out his opponent.  Targon framed T.S. for murdering his trainer.  (Fortunately, Amy was there to somehow get a second trial and win T.S. an acquittal.)

Turner starts to investigate the Dancin’ Joe’s fight so Targon decides to stop T.S. by …. framing him for a crime he didn’t commit!  (Hey, it worked before.)  Targon’s goon beats up Dancin’ Joe’s cornerman and Targon’s bartender calls the police and claims that he witnessed T.S. doing it.  Learning that there is a new warrant out for his arrest, T.S. hits the mean streets of Canada in an attempt to clear his name.

Luckily, the cornerman survived his beating and he informs T.S. that Targon put some sort of drug on Dancin’ Joe’s mouthpiece.  T.S. gets the mouthpiece from Decker, holds it up to his nose, and announces, “What they used, it don’t smell.”  Amy then shows up to tell T.S. that he needs to turn himself in and that the reports from the lab prove that Dancin’ Joe was drugged.  T.S. flees from the gym so he can track down the bartender who claimed to see him beating up the cornerman.

Because there’s only five minutes left in the episode, Targon and his men suddenly show up at the gym and take Decker and Amy hostage.  Fortunately, T.S. decides to come back to the gym and he rather easily beats up all of Targon’s men and Targon himself!

“Stop, T.S.,” Amy says, “Leave Targon for the law.”

“Look at me!” T.S. shouts at Targon, “I want you to see what’s coming!”  T.S. then runs his finger across his throat, allowing Targon to know that he will be heading to one of Canada’s prisons.  Fortunately, for Targon, Canada has no death penalty.

With Targon captured, Dancin’ Joe gets to fight again and T.S. makes peace with Detective Jones (Ken James), the man who arrested him years ago and who has always doubted his innocence.

“I’m never going to change,” the Detective says.

“Neither am I,” T.S. growls.

Woo hoo!  You tell ’em, T.S!

Episode 1.4 “Stowaway”

(Dir by Allen Kroeker, originally aired on February 1st, 1988)

“In this episode,” Mr. T says, “A runway kid has to grow up quickly when his friendship is tested and life depends on the outcome.”

“You know, when I was small,” T.S. says, “I used to think about running away also, but I didn’t realize my mother was doing the best she could with what she had.”  T.S. delivers these lines from a hospital bed, which is where he spends most of this episode.  While searching for a runaway named Fabian (Sean Roberge), T.S. got hit on the back of the head by a group of smugglers, temporarily taking him out of action.

Indeed, the majority of this episode is dominated not by T.S. Turner and Amy Taler but instead by Captain Grayson (played by the episode’s special guest star, Don Stroud).  Captain Grayson is the captain of a boat that transports goods to South America.  Fabian befriended Captain Grayson when he went to the docks to draw pictures.  When Fabian runs away from home because he wants to go to sea with Captain Grayson, he discovers that Grayson is smuggling guns.

“People need those guns,” Grayson explains.

“Guns hurt people!” Fabian yells.

Anyway, Grayson is a good-hearted smuggler but his boss is not.  Grayson is ordered to keep Fabian on the boat and to drop him off somewhere in South America.  However, Grayson feels very guilty about this and Don Stroud, who is probably best-remembered for playing the convict who Clint Eastwood tracked to New York in Coogan’s Bluff, does a really good job of portraying Grayson’s inner conflict.  Grayson finally decides to let Fabian go home.  At the same time, T.S. Turner sneaks out of his hospital bed and rescues Fabian from the other smugglers, none of whom are as good-hearted as Grayson.

“If you really want to make your mother proud of you,” T.S. tells Fabian, “stay in school, get a good education, learn to become an architect, and never run away again.”  T.S. also convinces Fabian to forgive Grayson for holding him prisoner.  “Little brother, that man cares for you.”

These were two good episodes of T. and T.  Yes, the plots were predictable but the appeal of this show is listening to Mr. T talk and sound like Mr. T.  And Mr. T does a lot of talking in these two episodes.

Retro Television Reviews: City Guys 5.23 “Prom-Lems” and 5.24 “Goodbye Manny High”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

It’s taken nearly a year but we’re almost done with City Guys!  This week, it’s time for the last prom and graduation!

Episode 5.23 “Prom-Lems”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on December 1st, 2001)

It’s time for the last prom of the graduating class of Manny High!  Al and Dawn decide that, even though they are broken up, they will still go to the prom together.  L-Train and Jamal try to show their dates a wonderful night but first the limo they ordered cancels and then L-Train fails to make the reservations for dinner at Tavern in the Green.  Not surprisingly, their dates are a bit less than impressed with the idea of having jambalaya at the Manhattan Diner.  Meanwhile, Ms. Noble won’t stop going on about how she doesn’t have anyone to go to prom with because her husband is out of town.  Ms. Noble, once again …. YOU’RE THE PRINCIPAL!  PROM IS NOT ABOUT YOU!  Anyway, Ms. Noble’s husband does come back home in time to take her to prom so, fortunately, everyone is spared from having to listen to Ms. Noble whine about it.

The majority of the episode focuses on Chris and Cassidy.  Chris and Cassidy should be happy because they’re named Prom King and Queen but there’s an issue that could have easily been resolved by everyone not being an idiot and not jumping to conclusions.  When Cassidy learns that Chris is going to give her a ring at prom, she thinks that Chris is not only going to ask her to marry him but that he is also pressure her to go to Duke with him and leave behind her plans of attending Cal Arts.  But, it turns out that Chris just wanted to give her a ring because it seemed like a romantic thing to do.  This is another one of those issues that could have been resolved by Cassidy just asking Chris about the ring.

Every high school show produced by Peter Engel featured a “final prom” episode and, by that time City Guys got around to it, the show and its writers were obviously just going through the motions.  It’s a pretty boring prom, to be honest.  It’s nowhere near as touching as the California Dreams playing their final gig or Jessie and Slater sharing one last dance.  It’s just another night at Manny High.

(Why were teenagers in Peter Engel sitcoms always applying to Duke?)

Episode 5.24 “Goodbye Manny High”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on December 8th, 2001)

Graduation is approaching but life at Manny High is still as pointlessly complicated as ever.

For instance, Dawn has been entrusted with ordering the school’s diplomas.  Why would that be Dawn’s job?  Shouldn’t that be Ms. Noble’s job or maybe the job of the school district?  Well, needless to say, Dawn screws up and ends up getting a bunch of diplomas that were supposed to go to a private school in Canada.  Al, however, says that his cousin can get them some new diplomas before Ms. Noble ever finds out.  Again …. WHY ARE STUDENTS IN CHARGE OF THIS!?  Here’s the thing with diplomas.  They’re kind of important.  You don’t just hand out homemade diplomas.  When the students of Manny High are applying for their first post-High School jobs, I can only imagine how their potential employers are going to react to being handed a home-made diploma.

Meanwhile, Chris and Jamal have to figure out the best way to end their stupid radio show.  Even after Chris puts on a turban and speaks in a fake Indian accent (and yes, it is all incredibly cringey), Chris cannot figure out how he and Jamal should say goodbye to Manny High.

But the biggest problem might be L-Train’s!  After being held back three times, L-Train is excited because he’s finally going to graduate.  Except …. he’s not!  He’s short one credit and there’s no way he can make up that credit in just four days so it looks like the Bayside Gang is going to have to figure out a way to help Zack graduate.  Oh wait, I’m sorry.  I got confused as to which Peter Engel-produced show’s graduation episode I was reviewing.  It’s understandable as the exact same thing that happens to L-Train also happened to Zack Morris at the end of Saved By The Bell.  It’s almost as if Peter Engel’s stable of writers had collectively given up on coming up with new ideas during the final two seasons of City Guys.

Anyway, just as how the Saved By The Bell girls totally ruined their final ballet performance so Zack could get his final credit, Cassidy decides to put on a one-act play, starring L-Train.  The play is called For Girls Only and, of course, it requires that L-Train put on a wig and speak in a slightly higher voice.  The school board is impressed with the play and gives L-Train his elective credit.  L-Train graduates!  L-Train thanks Ms. Noble for helping him to go from being a bully to being a high school graduate and, as was so often the case with this show, Steven Daniel’s sweet sincerity makes the scene work, despite the somewhat overwritten dialogue.

As for the other storylines, Chris and Jamal end their final show by announcing, “Goodbye, Manny High!”  The fake diplomas arrive just in time for graduation.  Everyone puts on their red robes and, after five long and punishing seasons, they receive their diplomas.  The camera glides through Manny High’s empty hallways and we hear dialogue from past episodes.  For all the silliness of this episode and the show in general, these final moments were kind of touching, if just because it reminded me of my own feelings when I graduated high school.  Plus, an empty school hallway always feels like the perfect way to wrap up any show about high school.

Yay, it’s over!  City Guys is over!

Except it’s not.  There’s still more two episodes to go.  We’ll get to them next week and then, City Guys will finally be over.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 3.1 and 3.2 “The Alaskan Wedding Cruise: Carol and Doug’s Story/Peter and Alicia’s Story/Julie’s Story/Buddy and Portia’s Story”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

The Love Boat sets sail for season 3!

Episode 3.1 and 3.2 “The Alaskan Wedding Cruise: Carol and Doug’s Story/Peter and Alicia’s Story/Julie’s Story/Buddy and Portia’s Story”

(Dir by Roger Duchowny, originally aired on September 15th, 1979)

The third season of The Love Boat starts with a special voyage to Alaska and a two-hour running time.  It’s double the guest stars, double the melodrama, double the goofiness, and double the romance!  The opening also features new clips for Doc, Gopher, and Julie.  Whereas the first two seasons introduced Doc listening to his own heartbeat, the third season opening features him laughing while leaning against a railing.  Gopher’s new opening credit features him looking wistfully out at the ocean and it’s a much more mature look for him.  As for Julie, she’s still smiling and perky but she’s let her hair grow out.  If the first two seasons of The Love Boat featured Julie looking like the star of the high school drama department, she looks more like the most popular cheerleader now.  As for the Captain, he continues to salute the camera and Isaac continues to do his signature pointing.

The episode opens in Canada. The boat is docked in Vancouver, where it has been rented out by a huge and wealthy wedding party.  The boat will be sailing to Alaska.  Isaac has been reading everything that he can find about Alaska and he spends most of the episode sharing trivia about the state’s history.  Gopher, preparing for Alaska’s cold weather, buys a gigantic coat.  Meanwhile, Doc Bricker makes jokes about his ex-wives and Capt. Stubing tries to keep everything professional.  (“You’re not going to the North Pole!” he snaps at Gopher when he sees the size of his new fur coat.)

As for Julie, her mind is elsewhere.  Alaska is where Jack (Tony Roberts) lives.  Who is Jack?  During the second season, he was a passenger who fell in love with Julie and who asked Julie to marry him.  She knows that she’s going to see Jack in Alaska and she’s going to give him an answer as far as his proposal is concerned.  (If you don’t remember Jack asking Julie to marry him, don’t feel bad.  I had forgotten about it, too.  Fortunately, the first hour of this episode is full of flashbacks to Jack’s previous episode.)  Is Julie ready to settle down?  While Julie tries to make up her mind, she also has to deal with the romantic intentions of the wedding party’s dorky best man (Donny Most).

As for the wedding party, Carol (Lisa Hartman) and Doug (Mark Harmon, sporting a truly unfortunate haircut) are looking forward to getting married, even though Doug’s ex-girlfriend (Caren Kaye) is also on the boat and determined to win Doug back.  If that means jumping out a cake while wearing a bikini, she’ll do it.  Doug is more concerned about the fact that his estranged, alcoholic father, Peter (Ray Milland) had turned up on the cruise despite having not been invited to or even informed about the wedding.  Peter has stopped drinking and is trying to make peace with his son and his ex-wife, Alicia (Eleanor Parker).  What Doug and Alicia do not know is that Peter is terminally ill.  And what neither Doug nor Peter knows is that Alicia is on the verge of filing for bankruptcy.

Meanwhile, Carol’s plain-spoken grandfather (Lorne Greene) feels uncomfortable with all of the rich folks but then he meets Doug’s equally plain-spoken aunt (Audra Lindley).  Could we be heading for a double wedding?  It is The Love Boat, after all!

There aren’t really any big surprises on this episode but it’s likable nonetheless.  For this episode, the crew and the cast actually sailed to Alaska and all the action was filmed during an actual cruise.  The scenery is gorgeous, even if it’s obvious that the cast was frequently freezing while filming their scenes.  By this point, the show’s regulars had their chemistry down perfectly and all of the 3rd season premiere’s guest stars are well-selected.  I especially liked the performances of Lorne Greene, Audra Lindley, the great Ray Milland, and Tony Roberts.  Julie and Jack’s reunion was far more touching that I think anyone would expect from a show like The Love Boat, with Tony Roberts playing the role of Jack so well that the viewer really did believe that, under different circumstances, he and Julie truly would have had a wonderful life together.  This was a great way to start the third season.