Timothee Chalamet plays Marty Mauser, a young man who dreams of being the world’s greatest ping pong player.
Normally, that is not the type of plot description that would catch my attention but Marty Supreme is directed by Josh Safdie, so you know it’s going to be about much more than just ping pong. The cast is also intriguing. Along with Chalamet, the cast includes everyone from Gwyneth Paltrow to Fran Drescher to Penn Jillette and director Abel Ferrara. Is Kevin O’Leary playing himself? Who knows with Safdie directing?
Judging from the trailer, this might be the most intense ping pong film ever made.
The 1987 film, Tough Guys Don’t Dance, opens with Tim Madden (Ryan O’Neal) talking to his father, tough Dougy (Lawrence Tierney). Dougy has stopped by Tim’s New England home to let Tim know that he has decided stop chemotherapy and accept his eventual death from cancer because, as Dougy puts it, “Tough guys don’t dance.” The tone of Dougy’s voice is all we need to hear to know that, in his opinion, his son has spent way too much time dancing.
Tim is an ex-convict turned writer and, when we first see him, he’s obviously had a few rough nights. He explains to Dougy that he woke up after a bender with his ex-girlfriend’s name tattooed on his arm, blood all over his jeep, and two heads dumped in his marijuana stash. Tim says that he’s hopeful that he’s not the murderer but he can’t be sure. He’s been drinking and doping too much. He suffers from blackouts. He’s not sure what happened.
The majority of the film is made up of flashbacks, detailing Tim’s affairs with a number of women and also his odd relationship with the town’s police chief, Luther Regency (Wings Hauser). Luther is married to Tim’s ex-girlfriend, Madeleine (Isabella Rossellini), who long ago accompanied Tim on a trip to North Carolina where they hooked up with a fundamentalist preacher (Penn Jillette) and his then-wife, Patty Lariene (Debra Sundland). (Tim found their personal ad while casually skimming the latest issue of Screw, as one does I suppose.) Patty Lariene eventually ended up married to Tim, though she has recently left him. As for Madeleine, she has never forgiven him for a car accident that they were involved in. Is Tim capable of loving anyone? Well, he does say, “Oh God, oh man,” repeatedly when he discovers that his wife has been having an affair.
Tim tries to solve the murders himself, finding that they involve not only him and Luther but also Tim’s old prep school friend, Wardley Meeks III (John Bedford Lloyd) and also some rather stupid drug dealers that Tim hangs out with. The plot is almost ludicrously convoluted and it’s tempting to assume that the film is meant to be a parody of the noir genre but then you remember that the film is not only based on a Norman Mailer movie but that it was directed by Mailer himself. Mailer, who was the type of public intellectual who we really don’t have anymore, was blessed with a brilliant mind and cursed with a lack of self-awareness. There’s little doubt that we are meant to take this entire mess of a film very seriously.
And the film’s theme isn’t hard to pick up on. By investigating the murders, Tim faces his own troubled past and finally comes to understand why tough guys, like his father, don’t hesitate to take action. Tough guys don’t dance around what they want or need. That’s a pretty common theme when it comes to Mailer. Tim Madden is not quite an autobiographical character but he is, by the end of the story, meant to represent the type of hard-living intellectual that Mailer always presented himself as being. Unfortunately, Ryan O’Neal wasn’t exactly an actor who projected a good deal of intelligence. And, despite his lengthy criminal record off-screen, O’Neal’s screen presence was somewhat docile. That served him well in films like Love Story and Barry Lyndon. It serves him less well in a film like this. It’s easy to imagine O’Neal’s Tim getting manipulated and, in those scenes where he’s supposed to be a chump, O’Neal is credible enough in the role. It’s far more difficult to buy the idea of Tim actually doing something about it.
Indeed, it’s hard not to feel that co-star Wings Hauser would have been far more credible in the lead role. But then, who would play Luther Regency? Hauser gives such a wonderfully unhinged and out-there performance as Luther that it’s impossible to imagine anyone else in the role. Maybe Hauser could have played both Tim and Luther. Now that would have made for a classic film!
Tough Guys Don’t Dance is weird enough to be watchable. The dialogue is both raunchy and thoroughly humorless, which makes it interesting to listen to, if nothing else. The moments that are meant to be funny are so obvious (like casting noted atheist Penn Jillette as a fundamentalist) that it’s obvious that the moment that feel like clever satire were actually all a happy accident. As far as Norman Mailer films go, this one is not as boring as Wild 90 but it also can’t match the unhinged lunacy of a frustrated Rip Torn spontaneously attacking Mailer with a hammer at the end of the unscripted Maidstone. It’s a success d’estime. Mailer flew too close to the sun but the crash into the ocean was oddly entertaining.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
This week, the second season with a two-hour long premiere! Crockett and Tubbs are going to New York!
Episode 2.1 and 2.2 “The Prodigal Son”
(Dir by Paul Michael Glaser, originally aired on September 27th, 1985)
The second season premiere of Miami Vice opens with a series of set pieces.
In Panama, Crockett and Tubbs visit a secret military base in the jungle and are disgusted to learn how the Panamanian military gets information about drug smugglers. Tubbs and Crockett find one horribly tortured man in a tent. Tubbs gives him a drink of water and gets what information he can from the man. Crockett and Tubbs leave the tent. A gunshot rings out as the involuntary informant is executed. When the shot rings out, both Crockett and Tubbs turn back to the tent in slow motion, stunned by the brutality of their allies in the Drug War. Indeed, it’s hard not to compare the scene to the famous photograph of a South Vietnamese general executing a communist during the Vietnam War.
The Vietnam analogy continues with the next scene. In the Everglades, Crockett, Tubbs, and the entire Vice Squad work with the DEA to ambush the Revilla cousins as they bring drugs into the U.S. Sitting in the swamp, Crockett compares the experience to Vietnam, suggesting that the war on the drugs is just as futile and as costly. And indeed, it’s hard not to notice that every drug dealer that Crockett and Tubbs has taken down over the course of this show has immediately been replaced by another. The Revillas are just another in a long line of people getting rich off of other people’s addictions.
After the bust goes down, Crockett and Tubbs arrives at a celebratory party, just to discover that almost of all of the undercover DEA agents have been murdered and Gina has been seriously wounded. There is something very haunting about this scene, with Crockett and Tubbs rushing through a penthouse and seeing a dead body in almost every room.
At a meeting in a stark office, the head DEA agent explains that his agency has been compromised and all of his undercover agents have been unmasked. Someone has to go to New York and work undercover to take down the Revillas but it can’t be any of his people. Since the Revillas are smuggling their stuff in through Miami, Miami Vice has jurisdiction. Paging Crockett and Tubbs!
Working undercover as Burnett and Cooper, Crockett and Tubbs visit a low-level drug dealer (played by Gene Simmons) who lives on a yacht and who gives them the name of a connection in New York City.
From there, Miami Vice moves to New York City, where Crockett and Tubbs meet a low-level criminal named Jimmy Borges (played by an almost impossibly young Penn Jillette) and they try to infiltrate the Revilla organization. Along the way, Tubbs meets up with Valerie (Pam Grier) and discovers that she has apparently lost herself working undercover. Meanwhile, Crockett has a brief — and kind of weird — romance with a photographer named Margaret (Susan Hess).
(“I like guns,” she says when Crockett demands to know why she stole his.)
With Crockett and Tubbs leaving Miami for New York in order to get revenge for a colleague who was wounded during an operation, The Prodigal Son almost feels like the pilot in reverse. Also, much like the pilot, the exact details of The Prodigal Son‘s story are often less important than how the story is told. This episode is full of moody shots of our heroes walking through New York while songs like You Belong To The City play on the soundtrack. (There’s also a song from Phil Collins, undoubtedly included to bring back memories of the In The Air Tonight scene from the pilot.) It’s all very entertaining to watch, even if the story itself doesn’t always make total sense. Indeed, you really do have to wonder how all of these criminals keep falling for Sonny’s undercover identity as Sonny Burnett. You would think that someone would eventually notice that anyone who buys from Sonny Burnett seems to get busted the very next day.
Stylish as the storytelling may be, this episode actually does have something on its mind. Those lines comparing the War on Drugs to the Vietnam Conflict was not just throwaways. Towards the end of the episode, Crockett and Tubbs follow a lead to the offices of J.J. Johnston (Julian Beck, the ghost preacher from Poltergeist II). The skeletal Johnston is an investor of some sort. He has no problem admitting that he’s involved in the drug trade, presumably because he knows that there’s nothing Crockett and Tubbs can do to touch him. Upon meeting the two cops, he immediately tells them exactly how much money they have in their checking accounts. He points out that they’re poor and they’re fighting a losing war whereas he’s rich and he’s making money off of a losing war. Beck gives a wonderfully smug performance as Johnston and it should be noted that, of all of the episode’s villains, he’s the only one who is not brought to any sort of justice. Val almost loses herself. Tubbs and Crockett don’t even get a thank you for their hard work. The somewhat sympathetic Jimmy Borges ends up dead while the Revillas were undoubtedly been replaced by even more viscous dealers. Meanwhile, J.J. Johnston relaxes in his office and counts his money. This is the No Country For Old Men of Miami Vice episodes.
This episode is also full of familiar faces. Charles S. Dutton, Kevin Anderson, Anthony Heald, Miguel Pinero, James Russo, Bill Smtirovich, Zoe Tamerlis, Paul Calderon, and Louis Guzman, they all show up in small roles and add to show’s rather surreal atmosphere. This is Miami Vice at its most dream-like, full of people you think you might know despite the fact that they’re doing things of which you don’t want to be a part.
As for the title, The Prodigal Son is Tubbs and he is tempted to stay in New York City. But, in the end, he joins Crockett on that flight back to Miami. It’s his home.
When I picked out this music video to feature today, I thought it would just be a catchy song that happens to feature Penn & Teller. I had no idea that the song It’s Tricky is actually an amalgamation of My Sharona by The Knack and Mickey by Toni Basil. The site Who Sampled has a great comparison here for Toni Basil and here for The Knack. They took a small bit of the guitar riff from My Sharona which got them sued in 2006, and was settled out of court. The vocal structure for the song was taken from Mickey. I would have never put that together had I not stumbled upon it on Wikipedia.
As for the music video, I’m a little confused. She gets her chain taken by Penn & Teller, the cops show up, they chase after them, she calls RUN-DMC as you do, and suddenly they are instantly doing three card monte again all in the span of a few minutes in front of the same theater. That’s tricky. Actually I wouldn’t be surprised if director Jon Small meant people to think of it that way.
This music video apparently aired for the first time in May of 1987 while Beastie Boys’ music video for No Sleep Till Brooklyn first aired in April of 1987. I only bring it up because of the similarities between the last scenes where RUN-DMC shows up at their scheduled concert to find that Penn & Teller have taken their place. Beastie Boys do the same kind of thing in No Sleep For Brooklyn, which seems to have borrowed elements from RUN-DMC’s music video for Walk This Way that aired the previous year in 1986. IMVDb says that It’s Tricky first aired in 1986, but 1987 makes more sense, and is in mvdbase that always seems to be the more accurate source for older music videos. Regardless, I find it funny how these things all interconnect whether intentionally via sampling, or what seemed like two different groups who had similar music videos right around the same time.
Director Jon Small seems to have worked on about 50 music videos as well as some concert films.
That seems to be all there is about this simple and fun music video, so enjoy!
(This review contains spoilers because it’s impossible for me to imagine that you somehow have not already seen Sharknado 3.)
Last night, I watched and live tweeted Sharknado 3 and I’m still recovering. After the first hundred, I lost track of how many tweets I devoted to Sharknado 3. Of course, I wasn’t alone in that. Last night, it seemed like the entire nation was tweeting about Sharknado 3 and it was a wonderful thing. At its best, twitter can be the great equalizer, giving everyone an equal voice and last night was one of those moments.
I hoping for a #Sharknado3 spin-off called Kittennado. "The world is ending! And it's adorable!" #meow
— Lisa Marie Bowman (@LisaMarieBowman) July 23, 2015
In fact, I was tempted to just devote this review to posting the best Sharknado 3 tweets from last night. However, if I did that, 90% of those tweets would be from me. Out of the millions of Sharknado 3 related tweets last night, mine were definitely the best.
Over the past three years, the premiere of the latest Sharknado film has almost become an unofficial national holiday, a summer version of the Super Bowl. On twitter, Sharknado 3 was trending for days before the film even premiered. And, once Sharknado 3 did start, it seemed as if everyone in the country was watching and taking bets on which celebrity guest star would be the next to die. (I’m very proud to say that I correctly predicted the bloody and prolonged death of Frankie Muniz.) Even the majority of the commercials were specifically meant to tie in with the Sharknado franchise.
Fans of the first Sharknado will be happy to know that Nova returns!
But what’s amazing and admirable is that, even though the franchise has now become an international phenomena, Sharknado 3 stayed true to its SyFy roots. Ignore all the hype and you’ll see that Sharknado 3 tells a story that will be familiar to anyone who has ever watched any SyFy original movie. The world is threatened by a flamboyant threat, in this case a bunch of tornadoes that happens to be full of sharks. Only one man (Ian Ziering as Finn) can save the world but first, he has to deal with skeptical military jackasses. As always seems to happen in these films, he’s separated from his wife (Tara Reid playing the role of April and sporting a truly badass robotic hand). Meanwhile, their teenage daughter (Ryan Newman as Claudia) has gone off on her own and finds herself right in the center of the disaster. It’s a plot that has been used in thousands of SyFy and Asylum films but director Anthony C. Ferrante directs with a lot of energy and writer Thunder Levin provides so many clever one liners that it doesn’t matter if the storyline is familiar. Ignore all the hype and you’ll discover that Sharknado 3 is still a wonderfully fun film that features everything that we love about SyFy movies.
Of course, one thing that distinguishes Sharknado 3 from other Asylum film is that it is full of celebrity cameos. Usually, I am weary of excessive celebrity cameos because they’re distracting and the celebs often turn out to be terrible actors. But the celebs in Sharknado 3 all do a wonderful job. (Add to that, the majority of them get eaten, as well.) Then again, the same could be said for the entire cast. Regardless of what they’re asked to do or say, Ian Ziering and Tara Reid both full commit to their performances. Casting director Gerald Webb is indeed one of the unsung heroes of the entire Sharknado phenomena.
The film opens with a shark attack on Washington D.C. and it’s during this time that we meet President Mark Cuban and Vice President Ann Coulter. And, oh my God, how certain heads on twitter exploded when Ann Coulter showed up. But you know what? After seeing Sharknado 3, I would totally vote for a Cuban/Coulter ticket. I don’t care what their platform is, they know how to fight sharks and they seemed far more believable than anyone who is currently running for President. At first, I assumed that Mark Cuban was supposed to be playing himself and I thought that Sharknado 3 had somehow managed to predict the presidential campaign of Donald Trump. However, I then checked with the imdb and I discovered that Cuban was playing President Marcus Robbins.
The same people on twitter who were bitching about Ann Coulter weren’t much happier when Michele Bachman showed up, playing herself. (For a few minutes, I was hoping that the movie would be full of cameos from former Presidential candidates.) However, the political cameos in Sharknado 3 are bipartisan. When the action moves down to Orlando, noted Democrat Jerry Springer shows up as a tourist and promptly gets eaten. And then Carlos Danger himself, Anthony Weiner, shows up as a heroic NASA guy. Eventually, for those of us who lean towards the libertarian side of the political spectrum, Penn Jilette and Teller eventually show up. Personally, I suspect that Teller knew how to stop the sharks but, of course, he wasn’t going to say anything.
As for the cameos from various media personalities, Sharknado 3 never manages to top the moment from Sharknado 2 where Kelly Ripa stomped a shark with her high heels. But no matter — it’s still fun to watch Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda get drunk while sharks fall around them. And then Matt Lauer gets eaten by a shark so yay for that!
(Incidentally, whether intentional or not, the film was full of former contestants from The Celebrity Apprentice, with Ian, Penn, and Lou Ferrigno all showing up. Personally, I would have enjoyed seeing Piers Morgan get eaten by a shark.)
However, of all the celebrity cameos in Sharknado 3, nobody could top the Hoff. When David Hasselhoff first showed up as Finn’s father, it felt like a funny but obvious joke. Of course, Finn’s father would be David Hasselhoff. But you know what? Give credit where credit is due. The Hoff actually gave a pretty good performance and, during the film’s interstellar climax, he managed to do a pretty good impersonation of George Clooney as he looked out into space and said, “It’s a beautiful view.”
And yes, Sharknado 3 does go into space. How could it not? The film may have started out as an homage to the classic weather disaster films but, by the end of the movie, it turned into a delirious combination of Jaws, Gravity and Interstellar. By the time Finn was exploring the stomach of a shark while it floated through the starry sky, Sharknado 3 had achieved a definite state of grace.
Incidentally, the film ended with a cliffhanger and we were asked to vote whether or not April would live. At first, I voted to kill April because, quite frankly, I thought it would be fun to see a vengeance-obsessed Finn. But then Tara Reid tweeted the following and made me feel totally guilty:
This is it show me your love and support I need you! You are the fans that made this movie keep it going! #AprilLives
Through the Shattered Lens 