Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.8 “Better Living Through Chemistry”

Posted on November 18, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Tubbs’s cover is blown …. again.

Episode 3.8 “Better Living Through Chemistry”

(Dir by Leon Ichaso, originally aired on November 14th, 1986)

While working undercover as Ricardo Cooper (and yes, I’m pretty sure I heard the fake Caribbean accent at the start of this episode), Tubbs is stunned to discover that his former partner from New York, Clarence Batisse (Victor Love), is now working as a DJ at a club owned by a local drug lord.

Tubbs is even more shocked when Clarence announces to the entire club that “Ricardo Cooper” is actually an undercover cop.

Somehow, and it’s not really made clear how, Tubbs is able to escape the club without getting shot. Sonny also somehow manages to convince the drug dealers that he didn’t know that Tubbs was actually a cop. So, Sonny “Burnett” continues to play his part in the undercover operation while Tubbs tries to figure out why Clarence blew his cover.

Clarence is bitter. His career with the NYPD came crashing down when he shot a bookie during a raid. Clarence claimed the bookie had a gun but the gun was never found. Tubbs didn’t see the gun and refused to lie for his partner. However, when Tubbs realizes that Clarence has been reduce to working for a drug lord, he sets about to try to clear Clarence’s name.

Meanwhile, informant Izzy (Martin Ferrero) has been hired to babysit the drug lord’s chemist, nerdy Henry Luna (Nelson Villamor). Luna has developed cocaine that is so pure that most people can’t even survive doing one hit. The Vice squad know that, if the cocaine hits the streets, it will lead to a gang war. But then Luna does a hit of his own cocaine and falls over dead.

Tubbs does manage to clear Clarence’s name but it doesn’t matter. Clarence has gone so far over to the dark side that he sets up Tubbs and Crockett to be attacked in a surprise raid. Tubbs and Crockett kill the bad guys and, at the end of the episode, Tubbs takes Clarence into custody. A good cop has gone very bad….

This was a weird episode. It was technically a Tubbs episode but it seemed like the majority of the running time was taken up with Izzy babysitting the chemist. Izzy is one of those supporting characters who works best in small amounts. Building almost an entire episode around him just serves to highlight that there’s really not much depth to Izzy as a character. He’s cowardly and he talks a lot. It’s funny until it isn’t, which is another way of saying that it gets old after ten minutes. The comedy of Izzy and the Chermist didn’t really fit in with the scenes of Tubbs trying to clear his former partner’s name. The tone of the episode was all over the place, making this a rare Miami Vice episode that didn’t seem to know what it wanted to be.

On the plus side, the drug lord owned a club that was full of motorcycles and where Peter Gabriel’s Sledgehammer was the most popular song. There was one very exciting shoot-out at the club. That was a good thing. Otherwise, this was Miami Vice at its least effective.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.7 “El Viejo”

Posted on November 11, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Willie Nelson and Steve Buscemi guest star!

Episode 3.7 “El Viejo”

(Dir by Aaron Lipstadt, originally aired on November 7th, 1986)

Using their undercover identities of Burnett and Cooper, Crockett and Tubbs are attempting to take down a Bolivian drug lord named Mendez (Anwar Zayden). Unfortunately, Crockett’s first attempt to bust Mendez does not go so well. Their meeting, which is being held at a museum for some reason, is interrupted by a security guard. In the resulting shootout, the security guard is killed and a green briefcase that’s full of cocaine is stolen by an old man named Jake Pierson (Willie Nelson). Soon, Jake is attempting to contact Mendez himself, offering to bring him the briefcase. Jake’s actions also bring him to the attention of Crockett and Tubbs, who both wonder why a 66 year-old Texan with no criminal record is suddenly trying to get involved in their drug deal.

Jake, it turns out, is a former Texas Ranger. When he was younger, he was a legend. He and his partner took down criminals like Bonnie and Clyde and protected Texas from Mexican revolutionaries who were preying on the border towns. It’s been a while since Jack retired. Now, he lives in a tiny apartment and spends most of his time thinking about the past. He’s still a killer shot with a gun and knows how to handle himself in a fight. But he also has a heart condition and, in fact, he would have died early on in the episode if Tubbs hadn’t given him his pills. Crockett, for his part, idolizes the Texas Rangers, to an extent that almost seems out-of-character when you consider how cynical Crockett is usually portrayed as being. Crockett is stunned that a former Ranger would be involved with running drugs. Even though he’s pretending to be career criminal Sonny Burnett, Crockett still asks Jake about all of his adventures as a Ranger and does little to hide how impressed he is.

So, why has Jake gone over to the bad side? Well, he really hasn’t. It turns out that the son of his former partner was murdered by Mendez and Jake is looking to get revenge. It all leads to a number of shoot-outs, including an exciting one that occurs on a Miami highway and an explosive finale at a cemetery. Jake kills Mendez and his men but, in typical Miami Vice fashion, he takes a bullet himself and dies right after he reveals that he knew Crockett was a cop all along.

This episode features two notable guest stars. Along with Willie Nelson, Steve Buscemi shows up in a small but memorable role as Rickles, who serves as a go-between for Crockett and Mendez. Buscemi is as wonderfully weaselly as ever and, even though he’s a bit stiff as an actor, Nelson still brings a lot of Texas authenticity to the character of Jake Pierson. Of course, in real life, Vice would have stopped Willie and searched his tour bus as soon as he entered the Miami city limits. This is a pretty dark episode but it’s still amusing to watch iconic hippie stoner Willie Nelson play a cop, even if Jake is retired.

This was a good episode. That Don Johnson and Willie Nelson were friends in real life is easy to deduce from witnessing how easily they play off of each other in this episode. This is another episode where the bad guys are defeated but at the cost of a good guy. Mendez will soon be replaced by another drug lord but no one will ever replace Jake Pierson.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.6 “Shadows In The Dark”

Posted on November 4, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Crockett loses it!

Episode 3.6 “Shadows In The Dark”

(Dir by Christopher Crowe, originally aired on October 31st, 1986)

Crockett and Tubbs are assigned to work with Lt. Ray Gilmore (Jack Thibeau) in investigating a series of burglaries. The burglar has broken into several houses. Each time, he eats whatever meat is in the house, he draws a picture on the wall, and then he steals a pair of pants. Gilmore is convinced that the burglar is working his way towards doing something even more serious and deadly.

Crockett and Tubbs soon discover that Gilmore is suffering from intense burnout. Years spent getting inside the minds of burglars and working nights have left Gilmore angry and erratic. When Gilmore finally snaps and starts shooting an icebox, Crockett and Tubbs assume that the investigation is over. Instead, Castillo informs them that, with Gilmore now committed to a mental hospital, they will now be in charge of the investigation.

Soon, Crockett finds himself becoming just as obsessed as Gilmore. He starts staying up late. The few instances in which he does sleep, he’s woken up by intense nightmares. Crockett becomes obsessed with the mysterious burglar, to the extent that Castillo and the rest of the Vice Squad start to worry that he’s losing his mind. In the end, Crockett does manage to figure out what house the Shadow (Vincent Caristi) will be targeting next. Both the Shadow and Crockett break into the house at the same time, leaving the homeowner terrified as the two men fight.

“I’m a cop! I’m a cop!” a desperate and wild-eyed Crockett shouts at her while holding up his badge.

This was a dark episode, one that played out more like a mini-horror movie than a typical episode of Miami Vice. (Appropriately, this episode aired on Halloween and was clearly made with the scary season in mind.) While I do think Crockett’s descent into madness happened a bit too quickly, I can’t deny that Don Johnson did a great job as the unhinged Sonny Crockett. When he desperately yelled “I’m a cop!,” it was obvious that he was trying to convince himself as much as the poor woman who owned the house. Though this episode was definitely a showcase for Don Johnson, Edward James Olmos did get plenty of opportunities to employ the Castillo stare as Crockett grew more and more unstable. Finally, Vincent Caristi was truly frightening as the Shadow.

Interestingly enough, the episode’s plot is similar to Manhunter, which came out earlier that year. The episode even features a scene where Crockett, Tubbs, and Gilmore visit a former burglar so that they can get his insights on their current prey. (Manhunter, of course, was the first film to feature Dr. Hannibal Lecter being consulted about a serial killer.) Miami Vice‘s producer and creator, Michael Mann, directed Manhunter and, though he didn’t direct this episode, it’s clear that Shadow In The Dark was meant to be a bit of an homage to the film.

Season three has, so far, been a bit uneven but this was a good and offbeat episode.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.5 “The Good Collar”

Posted on October 28, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, even more innocent lives are destroyed by an unwinnable war on drugs.

Episode 3.5 “The Good Collar”

(Dir by Mario DiLeo, originally aired on October 24th, 1986)

This week’s episode of Miami Vice tells the story of several wars playing out on the streets of Miami.

One of the wars is the skirmish between two street gangs, made up exclusively of teenagers. Led by Count Walker (Samuel Graham), the Regular Fellas are pushing drugs and even forcing a promising football star named Archie Ellis (Keith Diamond) to deliver a package of black tar heroin for them. The Regular Fellas are at war with The Apostles. Among the members of the Apostles is Ramirez (Jsu Garcia), an undercover cop who is actually 23 but who is pretending to be seventeen.

When Crockett and Tubbs bust Archie, all three of them find themselves dragged into the National War On Drugs. Assistant State Attorney William Pepin (Terry Kinney) wants to take Count Walker down, if just so he can claim a rare victory. When Archie helps Crockett and Tubbs make a bust and also saves them from getting shot in a back alley, Pepin agrees to drop all the charges against Archie. But after Ramirez is blown up by the Regular Fellas, Pepin decides that he’s going to go ahead and charge Archie unless Archie wears a wire and gets Count Walker to confess to his crimes.

Crockett, the former football star, is outraged by Pepin’s decision to put Archie in danger. Crockett even offers to doctor the records so that Archie’s arrest will be dismissed by the courts. However, Archie refuses. Archie says that he’s responsible for his own mistakes and he’ll deal with the consequences. Unfortunately, in this case, the consequences involve Archie being shot and killed by Count Walker, though not before getting Walker to confess on tape. Walker is arrested and his gang is destroyed but at the cost of Archie’s life. Pepin is happy. Ramierz’s supervisor, Lt. Lee Atkins (John Spencer), is happy. But social worker Ed McCain (Charles S. Dutton) blames Crockett for Archie’s death. And Archie’s grandmother slams the door in Crockett’s face when he attempts to come by to pay his final respects.

What a dark episode! However, it does get to the truth of the matter. There was no way to win the War on Drugs. Even the victories in this episode feel hollow. Regular viewers of Miami Vice would have understood that someone else would eventually step into the vacuum left by Walker’s arrest. Meanwhile, Archie — a good kid with the athletic talent necessary to win a college scholarship and have a chance to escape from the poverty that he grew up in — is shot and killed because a state’s attorney needed to notch up at least one victory. Miami Vice was at its best when it was cynical and it doesn’t get much more cynical than this heartbreaking episode.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.4 “Walk-Alone”

Posted on October 21, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, it’s a rare Tubbs episode!

Episode 3.4 “Walk-Alone”

(Dir by David Jackson, originally aired October 17th, 1986)

As Switek puts it, Tubbs has been walking on air for two weeks. He’s got a new girlfriend, a waitress at a hot Miami restaurant. Unfortunately, a shoot-out at that restaurant leaves her dead. Though Crockett thinks that Tubbs is still too close to the case to be trusted to investigate, Tubbs insists on being involved and Castillo agrees. (Castillo, at times, just seem to automatically do the opposite of whatever Crockett suggests.)

The shoot-out happened as a result of a drug deal that went down in the state prison. Using the name Cubero, Tubbs goes undercover as a recently transferred prisoner. He enters the prison as his usual cool and collected self. He’s promptly beaten up by the Aryan Nations. Fortunately, since this is a television show and not The Shawshank Redemption, beating him up is the only thing the Aryans do to Tubbs.

Tubbs is being targeted by all the prisoners, from the Aryans to the Muslims. But when words get out that he’s a big-time drug dealer, Commander Fox (Keven Conway) makes a deal with him. If Tubbs keeps Fox and his men supplied with drugs, Tubbs (or Cubero) will be kept safe.

Unfortunately, when Switek, Zito, and Trudy go the prison to see Tubbs, a prisoner recognizes them. Tubbs’s cover is blown. Crockett wants to go into the prison to save him but Castillo points out that everyone in the prison knows that Crockett is a cop. (Tubbs has been Crockett’s partner for three years now so why did Castillo assume no one in the prison would be able to make him?) Castillo goes into the prison to save Tubbs from both the guards and the prisoners. The episode ends with Castillo gunning down a few guards and saving Tubbs’s life. Way to go, Castillo! The main lesson here seems to be that Castillo would rather risk of his own life than depend on Crockett for anything.

This was …. well, this episode was okay. The plot was nothing special. For all the talk about how Florida’s state prison was the most dangerous place in the world, it actually came across as being a rather mild place. Tubbs got beaten up and he got threatened but he didn’t get shanked and or any of the other things that one tends to associate with prison. The prison guards were not the most intimidating or interesting villains to appear on Miami Vice, even though one of them is played by a young Laurence Fishburne.

(This episode all features a youngish Ron Perlman, playing a good guy who I kept expecting to turn out to be a bad guy because he was being played by Ron Perlman.)

In the end, this episode was a bit forgettable, though it did allow the often-underused Philip Michael Thomas a chance to have the spotlight for once. He does a good job, even if he doesn’t get to bust out his fake Caribbean accent.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.3 “Killshot”

Posted on October 14, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, another friend of Crockett’s is in trouble!

Episode 3.3 “Killshot”

(Dir by Leon Ichaso, originally aired on October 10th, 1986)

Crockett and Tubbs are working undercover as Burnett and Cooper to take down drug lord Morales (Roger Pretto). Morales is one of the most powerful drug lords in Miami but he’s still not connected enough to know that Burnett and Cooper are undercover cops. I know that I bring this up nearly every time I write about this show but it just baffles me that Crockett and Tubbs are somehow still able to maintain their covers despite the fact that those covers have gotten blown in numerous episodes and Crockett makes no effort to act any differently when he’s pretending to be Burnett. At least Tubbs uses his fake Jamaican accent whenever he’s pretending to be Cooper. Crockett doesn’t even bother to change his suit before pretending to be Burnett.

That said, they’ve somehow managed to keep Morales from discovering that they’re cops. So, Morales instead focuses on manipulating a customs agent, Frank Ariolla (Carlos Cestero). Frank’s brother, Tico (Fernando Allende) is an up-and-coming jai alai player. (That’s the sport, prominently featured in Miami Vice‘s opening credits, in which the players use a wicker to both catch and launch a ball.) However, Tico also has a raging cocaine problem. In fact, the drug often leaves him impotent. When a prostitute suggests that Tico might not be attracted tp women, Tico goes crazy and blacks out. When he wakes up, the prostitute appears to be dead and madam Isabel Batista (Maria Duval) says she’ll protect Tico for a price. Frank has to work as a double agent or Isabel and Morales will send a tape of Tico attacking the prostitute to the police.

(For the record, the prostitute was only pretending to be dead as a part of a plot to frame Tico. But then Isabel had her killed for real.)

Trying to protect his brother, Frank agrees to work for Morales. But when a guilt-stricken Tico makes a mistake during a match that leads to him getting killed when he’s stuck in the head by the ja alai ball, will Crockett and Tubbs be able to stop Frank from taking his own violent vengeance on both Morales and Isabel? As you probably already guessed, this is yet another Miami Vice episode the ends with a freeze frame and an off-screen gunshot as Crockett yells, “No!”

If there’s one thing that has stayed consistent over the first three seasons of Miami Vice, it’s that it does not pay to be a friend of Sonny’s. From Jimmy Smits getting blown up in the pilot to Ira Stone dying last week to Frank throwing his life away to avenge his brother in this week’s episode, anyone who has ever been close to Crockett seems to end up having terrible luck. I’m stunned that Tubbs has managed to survive for as long as he has.

As for this episode, Crockett and Tubbs both seemed to be sidelined in favor of the story of Frank and Tico. It’s always weird when Crockett and Tubbs become supporting characters on their own show. Carlos Cestero and Maria Duval both gave good performances, which is good because it helps to distract from the fact that Morales is a fairly dull villain and Tico is not a particularly compelling character. For the most part, this episode works best as a commercial for ja alai, which looks a hundred times more exciting than most sports. Certainly, its fast action and the constant danger of sudden death makes it the ideal sport for Miami.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.2 “Stone’s War”

Posted on October 7, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, another friend of Sonny’s gets killed.

Episode 3.2 “Stone’s War”

(Dir by David Jackson, originally aired on October 3rd, 1986)

Sonny Crockett’s old friend, journalist Ira Stone (Bob Balaban), returns to Miami and he’s in trouble once again.

The last time we saw Stone, he appeared to be dying as the result of being severely wounded by Col. William Maynard (G. Gordon Liddy). I guess Stone survived because this episode opens with him and a cameraman in Nicaragua, filming anti-Communist rebels opening fire on a village. They even gun down a priest! However, it turns out that the rebels have got some help from some men who appear to be American. Stone’s cameraman is shot. Apparently leaving him to die, Stone grabs the tape of the attack and then flees to Miami.

In Miami, Stone tracks down Sonny, who is reluctant to get involved with Stone. However, when it becomes obvious that some agents of the government are not only following Stone but also trying to assassinate him, Crockett changes his mind. It turns out that the men in Nicaragua do indeed work for Col. Maynard. Maynard makes a return appearance, showing off a necklace of ears that have been chopped off of communists in an attempt to get businessmen to invest in his army. This episode drops some very obvious hints that Maynard is now working for the U.S. government.

In their efforts to help Stone get his tape to the public, Crockett and Tubbs get a few people killed. Local reporter Alica Mena (Lonette McKee) is murdered after Maynard’s men break into her office to search for the tape. In the end, Stone himself is once again wounded by Maynard’s man and this time, he actually dies on-camera. As for Maynard, he once again boards a private plane and escapes. The episode ends on a properly cynical note, with Crockett listening to reports blaming the death of the priest on the Nicaraguan government.

Actually, this whole episode feels a bit cynical. On the one hand, this episode criticizes the American government for being so anti-communist that it tries to overthrow the governments of other counties. On the other hand, a good deal of the episode’s running time is devoted to showing off Sonny’s new car, a 1986 Ferrari Testarossa. There’s even an extended chase scene that seems to exist largely so the show can work in as many close-ups of Sonny changing gears as possible. It’s a cool car but just try to get one in Nicaragua, Venezuela, or Cuba. (Or, I should say, try to get one without being related to someone who is in power.)

Ira Stone was a bit more compelling in his previous appearance on the show. In this episode, Balaban’s performance is almost too low-key. It lacks the manic instability of his first appearance, in which Stone was portrayed as being almost as mad as Maynard. This time out, he’s just another independent journalist who is convinced the government is out to get him. Fortunately, G. Gordon Liddy returns to Maynard and takes so much obvious joy in the role that he’s fun to watch. As I mentioned when Liddy last appeared on this episode, my father had a “G. Gordon Liddy for President” bumper sticker. As far as Watergate felons are concerned, Liddy was certainly less annoyingly self-righteous and more honest about his amorality than John Dean has turned out to be.

As a whole, this wasn’t a bad episode. Like last week’s episode, it was serviceable but it still seemed to be lacking the spark that distinguished the show’s first two seasons. For the second week in a row, Miami Vice puts more emphasis on its guest stars than the main cast and, perhaps as a result, the main cast seems to largely be going through the motions. (Zito and Gina don’t even appear in this episode. Castillo is barely present, which is interesting considering that the character is supposed to have connections in U.S. intelligence that would have perhaps been a bit helpful this time around.) Still, it was good to see both Stone and Maynard return to the show and remind the viewers that the vice in Miami is often the result of conflicts happening elsewhere.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.1 “When Irish Eyes Are Crying”

Posted on September 30, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to season 3!

Episode 3.1 “When Irish Eyes Are Crying”

(Dir by Mario DiLeo, originally aired on September 26, 1986)

The third season of Miami Vice opens with Gina saving the life of Sean Carrone (a very young Liam Neeson).

Carrone is a former commander in the IRA, a man who has lost two brothers during the Troubles and who killed his first British solider when was fourteen but who now says that he has renounced violence and is instead a believer in peace. When he gives a lecture in Miami, Gina, Zito, and Switek attend because they’ve gotten a hot tip from Izzy that an arms deal is going to occur afterwards. Instead, a teenage gunman attempts to assassinate Sean and Gina is forced to use deadly force to save Sean’s life.

Gina is put on administrative leave after the shooting, which gives her plenty of time to pursue her new romance with Sean! A jealous Crockett doesn’t trust Sean and it turns out that Crockett’s correct when it becomes apparent that Sean and his American benefactor (Paul Gleason) are looking to purchase Stinger missiles from arms dealers Max Kilzer (Walter Gotell, who played the head of the KGB in several Bond films) and Eddie Kaye (Jeff Fahey). With the dubious help of a haughty British MI6 agent (Daniel Gerroll), Crockett and Tubbs try to uncover Sean’s plans. Along the way, Tubbs gets to try out another fake accent, Crockett spends some time as Burnett without anyone noticing that Sonny Burnett looks and talks exactly like Sonny Crockett, and Eddie Kaye finds time to blow up Sonny’s beloved car.

On the plus side, this episode had a wonderful group of guest stars. When one episode finds substantial roles for Liam Neeson, Jeff Fahey, Paul Gleason, and Walter Gotell, it’s pretty good guess that the episode is going to be worth watching. All four of them give memorable performances. Liam Neeson is, of course, the star attraction here but I also enjoyed Jeff Fahey’s turn as a half-crazed bayou arms dealer who is first seen wearing a t-shirt that reads, “Kill Them All.” I also appreciated that this episode gave everyone in the cast something to do. During season 2, it was easy to forget that Gina and Trudy were even on the show.

That said, as I watched this episode, I couldn’t help but feel that it was missing the energy that made the first two seasons stand out. If the first season was tough and gritty and the second season was surreal and often shocking, the third season got off to a rather comfortable start. Don Johnson and Phillip Michael Thomas both seemed a little bit too relaxed in their roles as Crockett and Tubbs. The third season opener played out like a well-0iled machine and that was the problem. It was almost too efficient, with little of the spontaneity that ran through the previous two seasons.

It’s something that happens to every series. The first two seasons are all about experimenting and taking chances and finding the right tone. By the time the third season rolls around, the formula is in place and things can start to feel a little mechanical. That was how I felt about this episode. The supporting cast carried the drama while the main cast went through the motions. That said, the episode did what a season premiere should do. It re-introduced the viewer to the characters, it had enough violence to keep action fans happy, and it announced the show was back. We’ll see how season 3 plays out over the next few weeks.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.23 “Sons and Lovers”

Posted on September 23, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the second season comes to a close with …. TRAGEDY!

Episode 2.23 “Sons and Lovers”

(Dir by John Nicolella, originally aired on May 9th, 1986)

The final episode of the second season Miami Vice opens with Crockett and Tubbs getting their cover blown for what seems like the 100th time. Seriously, has there every been an episode featuring these two going undercover in which their cover has not been blown? This time, they’re nearly executed by the drug dealers they were trying to arrest but, at the last minute, a sniper with a laser-guided sight shoots one of the dealers. In the confusion, Sonny and Tubbs are able to subdue most of the other dealers and disarm a booby trap that would have blown up Switek and Zito.

When Crockett mentions that they would have been dead if not for the sniper with the laser pointer, Switek says, “None of our guys have a laser.”

(Why not, Switek!? Are you guys trying to win the War on Drugs or not!?)

It turns out that the sniper worked for Angelina Medera (Phanie Napoli), the daughter of Calderone, the Colombian drug lord whose murder of Tubb’s brother led to Tubbs coming to Miami in the first place. Though she is still bitter over Crockett killing her father, Angelina has come to Miami to introduce Tubbs to his son, infant Ricardo, and to warn Tubbs that her half-brother, Orlando (John Leguizamo, in his first screen role), has put a contact out on his life.

Tubbs is a father! Tubbs is in love! Well, as Crockett could warn him, there’s nothing worse than being happy when you’re a member of the Vice Squad because it’s guaranteed that your happiness will be ripped away from you in the most violent way possible. Orlando comes to Miami and kidnaps Angelina and little Ricardo. With the help of a corrupt DEA agent named Harrison (J.C. Quinn), Orlando tries to set Tubbs up. Drawing Tubbs out to a pier where Angelina is bound in a car, Orlando plans to blow up his rival. Tubbs, being the star of the show, does manage to survive being near the car when it explodes. Angelina is not so lucky. Tragically, Tubbs believes that his son was in the car as well. (Actually, Orlando set little Ricardo back to Colombia.) At Angelina’s funeral, Tubbs receives a letter from Orlando. “I’ll be back!” it reads.

And so, season 2 ends!

The finale was a bit of a let down, largely because a good deal of the running time was devoted to flashbacks to remind us just who the Calerdones were in the first place. As well, John Leguizamo is not exactly the most intimidating of actors and his performance as Orlando was a bit stiff and awkward. (It makes sense when you consider that he was only 19 years old and making his debut on a hit television show. Anyone would be nervous.) Much like the Frank Zappa episode, it’s obvious that this episode was meant to launch a storyline that would be revisited in the future. While Leguizamo would return, it would appear that this episode is the only one to feature Tubbs’s son. So, I guess Tubbs will have to live the rest of his life thinking his childhood was blown up by a Colombian drug lord.

That’s dark!

That’s Miami Vice dark!

Despite the weak finale, I thought the second season of Miami Vice was a good one. There were a few weak episodes but, for the most part, it was a strong and stylish season and one that continued to explore just why exactly the War on Drugs proved to be unwinnable. Episodes like Out Where The Buses Don’t Run, Bushido, One Way Ticket, Little Miss Dangerous, and Trust Fund Pirates were all examples of Miami Vice at its cynical and surreal best.

Next week, we begin season 3 with a guest appearance by Liam Neeson!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.22 “Trust Fund Pirates”

Posted on September 16, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, things get weird in Miami!

Episode 2.22 “Trust Fund Pirates”

(Dir by Jim Johnston, originally aired on May 2ns 1986)

Pirate radio DJ Captain Hook (Richard Belzer) sits on his yacht in international waters and broadcasts music to Miami while, at the same time, brokering drug deals among other yacht owners. His assistant is Noogie (Charlie Barnett), the informant who was all over the place during Miami Vice’s first season but who, up until this episode, was absent from the second season.

On another yacht, a group of Bolivians are gunned down by preppy young men who are led by Ivy League dropout Skip Mueller (Perry Lang). Skip and his buddies brag about being pirates and cheerfully make jokes while standing over the bodies of the men and the women that they killed.

A seaplane pilot named Jackson Crane (a young Gary Cole) raids the Bolivian yacht and takes some of the boat’s equipment home with him. Jackson is a longtime drug smuggler who claims that he’s on the verge of retirement. He’s dating a woman named Lani (Nicole Fosse), who happens to be Skip’s sister.

In a trailer park, Jumbo (Tommy Chong) and his wife Fluffy (Denny Dillon) keep a running tally of how many rats they’ve killed while trying to buy drugs and fence stolen goods. Jumbo calls everyone “man.” Fluffy is good with a shotgun.

And, in the middle of all this, we’ve got two aspiring drug dealers named Burnett and Cooper. Burnett and Cooper, of course, are actually Crockett and Tubbs. Just two episodes ago, one of Miami’s fiercest drug lords figured out that Burnett and Cooper are actually cops but I guess he decided not to tell anyone, despite the fact that he still thinks Crockett owes him money.

It’s a bizarre episode, full of strange characters and a plot that has so many double-crosses that it’s hard to keep track of who is betraying who. The episode was originally intended to be a sequel to Smuggler’s Blues, with Glenn Frey once again playing Jimmy the Pilot. When Frey couldn’t fit a return appearance into his schedule, the script was rewritten to feature Gary Cole as a friend of Jimmy’s. That said, it’s still obvious that the script was originally written more to highlight a popular guest star than to tell a totally coherent story.

Fortunately, Miami Vice works best when its a bit incoherent. One the major themes of the show is that no one can be trusted and that everyone is willing to betray everyone else. The world of Miami Vice is often illogical because it’s a world full of illogical people who tend to do whatever pops into their head at any given moment. Another major theme is that everyone either wants to get rich from selling drugs or they’re just adrenaline junkies who get a high from being involved in the underground. Skip and his friends are rich. They just enjoy killing people and pretending to be gangsters. This is one of the more violent and bloody episodes of Miami Vice. Skip and his friends enjoy their work a little too much.

It’s a good episode and well-acted. Gary Cole was considered for the role of Crockett before Don Johnson got the part and, in this episode, it’s easy to see why. Even as a young actor, Cole has a rugged cynicism to him that’s both dangerous and compelling. Perry Lang appeared in a lot of dumb teen comedies in the 80s, usually playing dorky nice guys. He’s absolutely chilling as the sociopathic Skip Mueller. And finally, there’s Richard Belzer, wearing an eyepatch, opening the episode by rapping with Noogie, and encouraging the criminals of Miami to enjoy some good music while breaking the law. Full of strange characters and shocking violence, this episode captures the idea of Miami being a surreal playground for the rich, ruthless, and crazy.

Next week, season 2 comes to an end!