Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 4/21/24 — 4/27/24


Baby On Board (YouTube)

I wrote about Baby on Board here!

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

Check It Out! (YouTube)

My review of this week’s episode will drop in about 90 minutes.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I wrote about CHiPs here!

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi Junior High here!  Poor Wheels.

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched an episode in which Dr. Phil confronted a pathological liar named Brittany.  She stormed off stage.  The audience gasped.

On Monday, I watched a two-part episode featuring a crazy woman who insisted that both of her children were paranoid schizophrenic.  Dr. Phil said he would help her if she agreed to delete her YouTube channel.  “No,” the woman replied.  The audience gasped.

On Tuesday, I watched a two-part episode in which a man was falsely accused by his ex-wife and mother-in-law of sexually abusing his daughter.  What a toxic family!  I mean, the guy was kind of a jerk but no one deserves to be falsely accused of something like that.

On Wednesday, I watched a divorced couple yell at each other over who was responsible for their son’s video game addiction.

On Thursday, I watched a two-part episode in which a masseuse named Tarek came on the show to try to clear his name after he was accused of sexually assaulting 18 of his clients.  Tarek asked to be on the show and demanded to take a polygraph exam.  What was weird about that was the fact that Tarek was obviously guilty and a terrible liar.  No one was shocked when he failed the polygraph.

Later, I watched an episode about a mother-in-law who accused her son’s wife of being the “spawn of Satan.”  Yikes!  The wife was actually very nice and had the patience of a saint.

On Friday morning, I watched an episode in which Phil got annoyed with a teenage girl who hoped that getting pregnant would lead to her getting her own reality show.

On Saturday, I watched an episode featuring a young woman who insisted that her mother had kidnapped her son.  The young woman wanted to sue her parents but she also wanted them to lend her the money for the attorney.

Dragnet (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched my favorite episode of this old cop show.  Friday and Gannon appeared on a talk show and debated an underground newspaper editor and a sociologist.  Someday, I’ll write a full-length review of this episode because, from a historical point of view, it’s really is spectacular.

I followed this up with my second favorite episode, in which Friday enrolled in night school and promptly arrested one of his classmates.

Fantasy Island (Daily Motion)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Highway to Heaven (Freevee)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Miami Vice (Prime)

I wrote about Miami Vice here!

Monsters (YouTube)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Snub UK (Night Flight Plus)

I watched an episode of this old music show on Friday night.  The music videos were enjoyably trippy.

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here.

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back, Kotter here!

World’s Most Evil Killers (YouTube)

On Friday, I watched an episode about Arizona’s Baseline Killer.  He was definitely evil and he was a killer so I guess the show delivered what it promised.

World’s Most Evil Prisoners (YouTube)

On Wednesday morning, I watched a profile of Christa Pike, the youngest inmate on Tennessee’s Death Row.  And yes, Christa Pike did appear to be really, really evil.  As a fellow redhead, I was upset to see a member of the 2% behaving so badly.

On Friday, I watched an episode about T.D. Bingham, a leader of the Aryan Brotherhood.  He was definitely a scary guy, as well as being an evil prisoner.  So, just as with World’s Most Evil Killers, this show delivered what it promised.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.11 “Back In The World”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, an old friend of Sonny’s comes to Miami.

Episode 2.11 “Back In The World”

(Dir by Don Johnson, originally aired on December 6th, 1985)

Directed by Don Johnson himself, Back In The World opens in the closing days of the Vietnam War.  A war correspondent named Ira Stone (played by Bob Balaban) has discovered that the bodies of American soldiers are being packed with heroin before being shipped back to the United States.  He shares the discovery with his best friend, a young Marine named Sonny Crockett.

Ten years later, Sonny is a member of Miami Vice and laughing as he watches the DEA go all out to arrest two rich kids who have a few pounds on weed on them.  Meanwhile, Ira Stone is still a journalist but it’s been a while since he’s had a major byline.  Stone has become known for being erratic and paranoid.  His own wife (played by Patti D’Arbanville, who was Johnson’s girlfriend at the time this episode was filmed) describes Stone as being a crazed junkie who spends his time chasing imaginary enemies.  Sonny discovers just how paranoid Stone has become when Stone approaches him and asks for help in exposing the truth about the heroin trade.

Stone has a lot of theories, the majority of which involve rogue elements of the CIA.  Sonny agrees to help Stone investigate a lead but he’s skeptical of Stone’s theories.  But then someone launches a mortar attack on Sonny and Stone while they’re talking on a motorboat.  “INCOMING!” Stone yells as Sonny steers the boat through a shower of explosions.  As out there as Ira Stone may be, he’s obviously made someone uncomfortable.

Could that someone be William Maynard (G. Gordon Liddy, who was one of the Watergate burglars)?  Maynard is a former (and maybe current) CIA agent who, in Vietnam, was renowned for his ability to track down and destroy the enemy.  Now, Maynard lives in a Miami mansion with his wife (Susan Hatfield) and a mute servant who has a tendency to show up whenever someone needs to be killed.   While Crockett and Stone investigate Maynard, Tubbs and Switek (who is dressed as a leather-clad biker for some reason) investigate an exotic drug currier named Dakotah (Iman).

It’s an intriguing story but it ends on a rather conventional note, with Crockett and Tubbs launching an assault on one of Maynard’s mansions in the Everglades.  It’s probably not a coincidence that the Everglades are filmed to resemble a Vietnamese jungle.  At one point, Crockett nearly shoots in Tubbs by mistake, a stark reminder of the confusion that comes with combat.  In the end, Maynard escapes, Stone is seriously wounded, and the heroin trade continues.  There aren’t many happy endings to be found in Miami.

This was an uneven but entertaining episode.  The use of The Doors on the soundtrack was occasionally effective and occasionally heavy-handed.  The opening Vietnam montage was done well but it fell apart as soon as middle-aged and gravelly-voiced Don Johnson showed up as a fresh-faced Marine in his 20s.  That said, once the action moved to Miami and the present day, Don Johnson was never less than convincing as a battle-scarred veteran still trying to come to terms with what happened in Vietnam.  G. Gordon Liddy was entertaining as Maynard, even if it was obvious that acting was not his main thing.  Bob Balaban’s manic intensity (“INCOMING!”  “MEDIC!”) made Ira Stone into a fascinating character.  A visit by Crockett and Stone to a VA hospital not only leads to an important lead but it also allows the show to discuss the shameful way that America treated (and treats) veterans of unpopular wars.  Johnson did a good job directing the episode but it still never quite escaped the shadow of the thematically-similar Bushido.

Incidentally, my father used to have a “G. Gordon Liddy For President” bumper sticker.  And I’ve got a beat-up copy of Liddy’s autobiography, one that I purchased from Recycled Books in Denton a few years ago.  After watching this week’s episode, I think I’ll give it a read.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 4/14/24 — 4/20/24


Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, CBS)

Yay!  Janine is finally back at the school, where she belongs.  Hopefully, we won’t have to spend any more time with those district dorks.  Considering how much I disliked the whole district storyline, I’m kind of thankful this is a shortened season.  I don’t know I could have handled 20 episodes of Janine working for the district.

Plus, it looks like Ava Fest was a huge success!  Congrats to all!

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

Blind Date (YouTube)

On Saturday evening, I watched an episode featuring a guy named Igor who had a terrible date.  I wonder if, back in 1999. Igor had any idea his bad date would still be available for viewing in 2024.

Check It Out!  (Tubi)

My review of this week’s episode will be dropping in about 90 minutes.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I wrote about CHiPs here!

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi Junior High here!

Fantasy Island (Daily Motion)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

On Sunday night, I watched last week’s episode of Law & Order.  I have to admit that I cringed at first, especially when it appeared that the villain was going to be a Republican congressman.  Law & Order is always at its worse when it tries to deal with partisan politics and the stuff with the congressman was painfully heavy-handed.  (One can tell that it’s been a while since anyone in the writer’s room talked to an actual Republican.)  Fortunately, the show’s signature twist was that the congressman had nothing to do with it and the murderer was a Ukranian refugee who claimed to be suffering from PTSD.  Naturally, Maroun wasn’t sure if the woman should be prosecuted because she had family members who suffered from the same thing.  Price told Maroun to stop crying and do her job and good for him.  Anyway, this episode turned out to be stronger than I was expecting.  It was another entry in what has, so far, been a pretty good season.

On Thursday night, I watched the latest episode of Law & Order.  A chef, who had previously been wrongly convicted of rape and murder, was killed by someone.  His attorney was arrested but then Nolan started to have doubts as to whether or not the guy was actually guilty.  It turned out that it was actually the attorney’s wife who committed the murder.  This episode was obviously designed to try to make Nolan into a more likable figure.  (“Nolan Price does it again!” Shaw happily said at one point.)  But the whole thing just fell kind of flat.  The only moment that really worked for me was when D.A. Baxter told Nolan to stop whining and do his job.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

The Masters (Sunday Afternoon, CBS)

Congratulations to Scottie Scheffler!  And yes, I do enjoy watching golf.  I like the peaceful beauty of the courses.

Miami Vice (Prime)

I wrote about Miami Vice here!

Monsters (YouTube)

I wrote about Monsters here!

New Sounds (Night Flight Plus)

This was a music video show that aired in the late 80s, I believe.  I watched an episode on Friday night.  Some of the music was good and some of it was kind of forgettable.  Such is life.

Our America With Lisa Ling (YouTube)

On Saturday, I watched an episode of this old news program in which Lisa Ling interviewed parents whose children had been taken away from them.  Lisa Ling is one of those reporters who has a tendency to do a fake “journalist voice” whenever she speaks and it kind of made it difficult for me to treat the episode with the seriousness it deserved.

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Veronica’s Video (YouTube)

I sacrificed my eyesight to review Veronica’s Video.

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back Kotter here!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.10 “Bought and Paid For”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, things get bleak.

Episode 2.9 “Bought For Paid For”

(Dir by John Nicolella, originally aired on November 29th, 1985)

This is a dark episode.

It opens with Gina’s friend, a Haitian immigrant named Odette (Lynn Whitfield), being attacked and raped in Gina’s apartment.  The rapist is easily identified as Nico Arroyo (Joaquim de Almeida), the sociopathic son of a Bolivian general (Tomas Milian) who has been exiled to Miami after a failed coup attempt.  Odette used to work as a maid in the general’s Art Deco mansion and Nico is obsessed with her.

Gina is able to convince Odette to testify against Nico but then the general brings Odette’s mother to America and offers her a good deal of money in return for Odette agreeing to testify that the encounter with Nico was consensual.  Because her family is poor and desperately needs the money, Odette agrees.  With the charges dropped,  Nico goes to Odette’s home and kills her.

Gina goes to the general’s mansion and confronts Nico, knowing that it will lead to him trying to attack her in her apartment.  When Nico shows up, he’s carrying a switchblade but he drops it as soon as he sees that Gina has a gun.  Gina shoots him dead.

Watching this show, one gets the feeling that being a supporting player on Miami Vice could be a thankless task.  Switek, Zito, Trudy, and Gina are in every episode but they rarely get to do much.  This week Gina gets to have a moment and Saundra Santiago makes the most of it.  This episode exists in the shadow of the first season’s Give A Little, Take A Little, in which Gina was raped by Burt Young and, at the end of the episode, shot him dead as well.  At one point, when Sonny is arguing that Gina needs to accept that Odette is not going to press charges against Nico, Gina says that he knows why she can’t do that.  Later, after Odette dies, Gina fears that, because of her own experience, she may have pushed Odette too hard.  In the end, Gina shoots and kills an unarmed man, just as she did in Give A Little, Take A Little.  It’s a ruthless move but both of the men were scum who totally deserved it.  It’s hard not to appreciate the idea of Gina serving as Miami’s version of Ms. 45.

As I said at the start of this review, this is a dark episode.  Nico’s father committed war crimes in Bolivia but now he’s remade himself as a respectable member of Miami society.  Nico and his father live in a fabulous mansion and Nico spends his day lounging by the pool.  Meanwhile, Odette struggles day-to-day and is essentially sold out by her own mother.  (One of the things that gives Nico away as the rapist is the fact that Sonny recognizes the smell of his extremely expensive — and apparently rather pungent — cologne on Odette’s clothes.)  Nico feels that he can do whatever he wants to Odette because he’s rich and  she’s “bought and paid for.”  The system fails and Gina is forced to put her life at risk to get some sort of justice for Odette.  This is Miami Vice at its bleakest.  The world under all of the glitz and glamour is a dark one.

There is one funny moment though.  Gina and Sonny go out to a club with Tubbs and Odette.  Sonny watches Tubbs dance with Odette and he starts laughing.  And he simply can’t stop.  It feels like such a spontaneous moment that I have to wonder if it was scripted or if Don Johnson really did think Philip Michael Thomas was just a terrible dancer.

Next week, a figure from Crockett’s past resurfaces in Miami.  Maybe Castillo can give him so advice on how to deal with that.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.9 “Bushido”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, a man from the past returns to haunt Castillo.

Episode 2.9 “Bushido”

(Dir by Edward James Olmos, originally aired on November 22nd, 1985)

This week’s episode opens with yet another intricately plotted drug bust going awry.  This time, a dealer ends up dead, a DEA Agent ends up knocked out and tied up in a bathroom, and $50,000 goes missing.  Watching the tapes of the bust, Castillo is shocked to spot a familiar face on the scene.  Castillo says that Jack Gretsky (Dean Stockwell) was his partner when he was working for the CIA in Vietnam.  Gretsky has long been thought dead but there he is, on tape and ruining Castillo’s bust.

Realizing that Gretsky was sending him a message, Castillo decides to deal with the situation personally.  After visiting two CIA agents (Jerry Hardin and Tom Bower) who work out of an adult novelty shop, Castillo tracks Gretsky down to a Buddhist temple.  The two of them talk.  Gretsky reveals that he’s married to a Russian woman and that he has a son.  He asks Castillo to watch over them if anything happens to him.  The stoic Castillo agrees and then gives Gretsky a hug.  Castillo says that he has to arrest Gretsky.  Gretsky says he knows and then pulls a machine gun, forcing Castillo to kill him.  The CIA agents are happy to no longer have to deal with Gretsky.

A day later, the coroner’s office calls Vice and says that Gretsky was terminally ill with cancer and probably only had a few days left to live.  When Crockett and Tubbs go to tell Castillo, they find his badge and a note sitting in the office.  Castillo is fulfilling Gretsky’s final wish and protecting his wife (Natasha Schneider) and his son, Marty (Robin Kaputsin).  Castillo sees it as being a part of the samurai code by which he lives his life.  Meanwhile, a rogue CIA agent named Surf (David Rasche, giving a wonderfully unhinged performance) is working with the KGB to track down Gretsky’s family.

Directed by Edward James Olmos, Bushido is a wonderfully odd episode.  With a combination of skewed camera angles and deliberately eccentric performances from Dean Stockwell and David Rasche, this episode plays out with the relentless intensity of a fever dream.  (The opening drug bust even features Zito burying himself in the sand and using a straw to breathe until its time to emerge and knock out one of the bad guys.  It’s weird but it’s great.)  Olmos contrasts Castillo’s trademark stoicism with the more verbose characters played by Stockwell and Rasche and, as a result, Castillo emerges as an honorable man who hides his emotions because he knows that’s the only way to survive in his world.  To fall in love like Jack or to get cocky like Surf can only lead to one’s downfall.

After a few uneven episodes, Bushido is a nice reminder of what Miami Vice was capable of at its best.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 3/31/24 — 4/6/24


Here’s a few thoughts on what I watched this week.  (Most of this week was taken up with movies as opposed to television.)

Dirty Pair Flash (YouTube)

Yuri and Kei tried to capture a notorious con artist but instead ended up getting stranded in the middle of the wilderness with him.  This is the first episode of Dirty Pair Flash where I’ve actually been able to follow the plot and I have to admit it was pretty amusing.  I relate to Yuri.  We have a similar attitude towards life and I appreciated her efforts to stay positive.

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

Dr. Phil talked to a cheating husband and the wife who got revenge by having an affair of her own.  Phil seemed fairly annoyed with both of them and I really can’t blame him.

Geraldo (YouTube)

In an episode from the late 80s, Geraldo Rivera talked to teenagers on death row, all of whom claimed to be former Satanists.  I didn’t believe a word of it.  One of the teens that Geraldo talked to ended up going to Oklahoma’s gas chambers ten years later so I guess the whole Satanism scam didn’t work for him.  Myself, I’m just wondering how long Geraldo Rivera has been around.

It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (Hulu)

Heh heh, the bowling episode.  Dee finally knocked over a pin, just to discover that everyone had already left to go find something better to do.  I laughed.

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

This week, via Peacock, I got caught up on the last three episodes of Law & Order.  They were, as is typical of this show, uneven. The first episode that I watched dealt with a shooting at a hospital and it was well-done.  The second episode was yet another one about a murdered millionaire and a dominatrix and it was enjoyably trashy.  The third episode was a take on the death of Jordan Neely and it felt a bit like Leftist fanfic, straight down to portraying the Daniel Penny stand-in as being a secret white supremacist.

I continue to enjoy Reid Scott’s performance as the newest cop.  Tony Goldwyn has now taken over as District Attorney and I guess he’ll be okay, though it’s going to be difficult to replace Sam Waterston.  Neither Price nor Maroun seem like they were worth Jack resigning to protect.

Night Court (Peacock)

I finished up Night Court’s second season this week.  I’m not really sure why I felt the need to watch the remaining episodes, because I laughed even less while watching the second season than I did while watching the first season.  I think the main problem with this show is that there’s really no room for the characters to develop.  Abby will always have to be impossibly naive or the show will have to totally change direction.  Dan will always have to be a cynic or the show won’t work.  The supporting characters all have to be one-dimensional or the show will be thrown off-balance.  It’s just not a very good show, despite the best efforts of Melissa Rauch and John Larroquette.

Watched and reviewed elsewhere:

  1. Baywatch Nights
  2. Beane’s of Boston
  3. Check it Out — The review will be dropping in about 90 minutes
  4. CHiPs
  5. Degrassi Junior High — The review will be dropping tomorrow
  6. Fantasy Island
  7. Friday the 13th: The Series
  8. Highway to Heaven
  9. The Love Boat
  10. Miami Vice
  11. Monsters
  12. T and T
  13. Welcome Back Kotter

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.8 “Tale of the Goat”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, things get weird.

Episode 2.8 “Tale of the Goat”

(Dir by Michael O’Herlihy, originally aired on November 15th, 1985)

It’s hard to know where to begin with this one.

Legba (Clarence Williams III) is a drug lord that Sonny has been trying to take down for three years.  While hiding out in Haiti, Legba reportedly dies.  When his body is flown back to Miami, Crockett and Tubbs are waiting in the airport so that Crockett can snap a picture of Legba in his casket.  Legba does indeed appear to be dead.  But, at his voodoo-themed funeral, a man on a motorcycle riddles the casket with bullets.  When Crockett and Tubbs (who were staking out the ceremony) open up the casket, they discover only a dead goat.

“Zombie!” a priest exclaims.

Legba has come back, though not as a member of the undead.  Instead, while in Haiti, he ingested a toxin that put him in a 48-hour coma.  Unlike a lot of people who take the toxin, Legba survives.  However, when he is revived, he has suffered brain damage and is now walking and talking slowly.  That doesn’t stop Legba from getting his old gang back together (including a dwarf who carries a pickaxe) and going after everyone who he feels has betrayed him.  This includes his former lieutenant (Mykelti Williamson) and an obnoxious money launderer (Ray Sharkey) who owns a used car lot.

Tubbs doesn’t believe in voodoo, despite Crockett warning him of the dangers.  Tubbs is more interested in Marie (Denise Thompson), Legba’s ex-girlfriend.  Looking to keep Marie safe from Legba, Tubbs attempts to infiltrate a voodoo ceremony.  You might think this would give Tubbs the perfect excuse to trot out the fake Caribbean accent that he occasionally used during the first season but instead, Tubbs is captured before he can even utter a word.  He’s injected with the toxin and spends 48 hours in a coma, haunted by visions of Legba staring at him!

Eventually, Tubbs does come out of his coma and, amazingly, it takes him about five minutes to fully recover.  The episode ends with another raid on a yacht.  This time, Tubbs manages to kill the villain, shooting him in the back!  In Tubbs’s defense, he was still having visions and he thought Legba was facing him.  Legba dies and Marie is found in a coma but alive.

This was a weird episode, one that had enough plot for a two-parter.  As it is, the story felt rather rushed.  No sooner had Mykleti Williamson and Ray Sharkey made their appearances as criminals then Legba was doing away with them.  No sooner had Marie stepped onto Crockett’s boat then she was being kidnapped by Legba’s men.  No sooner had Tubbs decided to infiltrate Legba’s cult then he was getting injected with the voodoo toxin.  And no sooner had Tubbs woken up from his coma then he was preparing to raid the yacht.  Add to that, Clarence Williams III gave a performance that was without a hint of subtlety, speaking in accent that was impossible to describe.  This wasn’t really a good episode but it was so weird that it was undeniably entertaining.

Next week, Dean Stockwell appears as an old friend of Castillo’s!  Hopefully, he won’t be a voodoo priest.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.7 “Junk Love”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Sonny and Rico somehow still manage to work undercover.

Episode 2.7 “Junk Love”

(Dir by Michael O’Herlihy, originally aired on November 8th, 1985)

“What’s a four letter word for dirt?” Switek asks, while on a stakeout.

“Mud,” Zito offers before correcting himself, “I mean …. sand!”

However, according to Switek, the correct answer is Vice!

And indeed, there’s a lot of dirt to be found in this week’s rather sordid episode of Miami Vice.  A raid on a brothel leads the Vice Squad to arrest a notorious smuggler and pimp named Ivory Jones (legendary Jazz musician, Miles Davis) and one of Ivory’s girls, a strung-out junkie named Rosella (Ely Pouget).  When they find out that Rosella is apparently the girlfriend of a notorious dealer named Juan Carlos Silva (Jose Perez), they decide to use her and Ivory to take Silva down.  While Tubbs is convinced that Rosella will say anything get her next fix, Crockett is convinced that Rosella is someone who truly wants to change her life.  Hmmm …. isn’t Crockett usually the cynical one?

Silva is sexually obsessed with Rosella, to the extent that he’ll even kill the members of his own organization if he thinks they’re interested in her.  The episode’s twist comes towards the end, when Gina does some research and discovers that Silva is not only Rosella’s lover but also her …. ick! …. father!  Ewwwww!  As with so many episodes of Miami Vice, Junk Love ends with Sonny watching helplessly as a victimized woman throws away her freedom so that she can shoot her tormenter.  Miami Vice was a show that always managed to be downbeat, even when the bad guys met a deserved end.

This episode felt like an attempt to recreate the emotional drama of the season one episode that featured Bruce Willis as an arms dealer with an abused wife.  Both episodes even feature the same basic ending, just with the setting moved from the courthouse steps to a yacht.  Unfortunately, this episode doesn’t work anywhere half as well as any of the episodes that aired during the first season.  Jose Perez may be playing an evil character but he simply does not have an intimidating enough screen presence to be convincing in the role.  Miles Davis, meanwhile, delivers his lines convincingly enough but his character disappears in such a way that it almost feels as if he left the set before all of his scenes were filmed.

The main thing that I found myself thinking about, as I watched this episode, was how could Sonny Crockett and Rico Tubbs still convincingly go undercover after two years of busting drug kingpin after drug kingpin.  You would think the entire Miami underworld would be on the lookout for them.  Instead, Sonny is still somehow convincing everyone that he’s actually “Sonny Burnett,” aspiring drug dealer.  I’m starting to think the criminals in Miami might not be that smart.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 3/17/24 — 3/23/24


Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

I’m now caught up with Abbott Elementary.  Season 3 has been a bit rocky for me and, as I watched the latest episode on Thursday morning, I realized that it really did come down to the fact that it seems as if Abbott is running the risk of losing its edge.  The celebrity cameos are nice and often funny but they also take the viewers out of the reality of the show.  I’m also still not a fan of Janine working for the District.  I love teachers but I cannot stand bureaucrats.  I also think, after three seasons, it might be time for Gregory to stop looking stunned by everything.  It was funny at first but now, it’s just coming across as being a bit lazy.

That said, when this show works, it really does work.  Mr. Johnson debating how AI will effect the future of janitoring made me laugh so hard that I had to get a drink of water to stop myself from choking to death.

Blind Date (YouTube)

I watched two episodes on Tuesday afternoon.  No one found love.

Chappelle’s Show (Netflix)

On Sunday, I watched an episode in which Wayne Brady took over Dave Chappelle’s Show.  Dave later talked about the time Wayne forced him to smoke crystal meth and murdered at least three people.  It made me laugh.

Dirty Pair Flash (YouTube)

On Friday, I watched an episode in which the two main characters had to hide out at a private school, one that was haunted by a ghost.  I related to Yuri’s enthusiasm.

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

On Tuesday afternoon, I watched an episode in which Phil talked to a white kid from the suburbs who thought he was a gangster.  A real-life former gangster was brought on to talk to him about the “realities” of life on the street.  I’ve never heard so much psycho-babble in my life.

The N.Y. Friars Club Roast of Chevy Chase (YouTube)

I read about this infamous 2002 Roast on Wednesday so I decided to watch it on Thursday.  It’s true that the humor was brutal.  I thought the roast of Michael Scott on The Office was brutal but it was nothing compared to what Chevy Chase was put through.  It was kind of obvious that everyone involved had been waiting for a chance to let the world know how much they hated Chevy Chase.  It was …. awkward.  I’m just not a huge fan of the whole roast thing.  It just seems mean!

Jenny Jones (YouTube)

On Monday, I watched a 1992 episode of this talk show.  Easily flustered host Jenny Jones talked to teenage girls who were dating older boys and basically made things awkward by asking them to tell her and the entire audience about their first time.

The Phil Donahue Show (YouTube)

On Monday, I watched a 1993 episode of this ancient talk show.  The pompous host talked to girls who were dating older men.  Everyone was amazingly inarticulate.

Quiet On The Set (Max)

A four-part docuseries, Quiet On The Set took a look at the rise (and eventual fall) of Nickelodeon and television producer Dan Schneider.  The centerpiece of the series was an episode-long interview with Drake Bell, in which he bravely discussed being sexually abused by Brian Peck, who was one of three Nickelodeon employees to be convicted of child sexual abuse over a short period of time.

While Drake was compelling and the series did a good job of detailing the toxic atmosphere on many of Schneider’s shows, the series also featured a few too many journalists and a few too many interviews with other former child stars who came across like they were mostly annoyed that their careers fizzled out.  Dan Schneider comes across as being a terrible boss and a selfish human being but, at the same time,  the series started out with an agenda and sometimes, I wondered how much of the narrative was shaped to fit that agenda.

In the end, the main thing I took away from watching this docuseries was the Nickelodeon really was as creepy as I always kind of suspected it of being.

Rollergames (YouTube)

I watched an episode of this old show on Saturday morning.  The roller derby was brutal!

Sally Jessy Raphael (YouTube)

On Monday, I watched a two-part episode from 1993.  Sally interviewed teen girls who were sexually active and basically spent two hours scolding them,  There was also an army of virgins in the audience who would say stuff like, “I am a virgin,” and the audience would go crazy.  It all felt very weird and judgmental.  For someone who claimed to be a feminist, Sally sure was quick to judge her guests.

Trisha Goddard Show (YouTube)

I watched an episode of this talk show (which I had never heard of before) on Sunday night.  Trisha Goddard, who was a kind of annoying British woman, talked to a 68 year-old woman whose deceased son was thought to be the father of two 27 year-old women.  For some reason, a psychic was brought out to give her opinion.  “I’m sensing the number three,” she said, for reasons that were never explained.

I watched another episode on Wednesday.  It featured a man who refused to accept that he was the father of his ex-partner’s baby, even after a DNA test proved that he was.  “That test could have been doctored!” he yelled while the audience gasped in shock.

Watched And Reviewed Elsewhere:

Baywatch Nights

Changing Patterns

Check It Out — Review to come shortly  (unless I fall asleep)

CHiPs

Fantasy Island

Friday the 13th: The Series

Highway to Heaven

The Love Boat

Miami Vice

Monsters

T and T

Welcome Back Kotter

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.6 “Buddies”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Crockett discovers that one of his oldest friends has a secret.

Episode 2.6 “Buddies”

(Dir by Henry Mastrogeorge, originally aired on November 1st, 1985)

When sleazy stand-up comedian Morty Price (a youngish Nathan Lane) attempts to sexually assault a cocktail waitress named Dorothy (Eszter Balint), he ends up getting fatally stabbed with a steak knife.  Dorothy flees from the crime scene, taking her baby and grabbing a bunch of random papers that, unknown to her, prove that Morty Price was placing illegal bets with mobster Frank Doss (Frankie Valli).  This information could keep Doss from being able to get a casino license in Florida.

Because Doss and his partner, Johnny Cannata (Tom Signorelli), are mob-connected, Castillo and Vice take over the investigation of Price’s murder.  Sonny and Tubbs learn, from an informant (Karla Tamburrelli), that Price took Dorothy up to his room before he was murdered.  While Crockett and Tubbs search for Dorothy to find out what happened with Price, Doss and Cannata send their men to track down Dorothy and keep the papers from reaching the police.

During the investigation, Sonny is stunned to come across security footage of one of his oldest friends, Robbie Cann (James Remar), meeting with Doss and Cannata.  Robbie not only served in Vietnam with Sonny but he has also recently asked Sonny to be his son’s godfather.  Robbie has just opened up a club and, as he explains to Sonny, he finally feels like he’s something more than just a loser.  When Sonny confronts Robbie about meeting with the gangsters, Robbie admits that he borrowed money from them to start the club but he insists that he doesn’t have any other type of relationship with them.  However, when Sonny attends the christening of Robbie’s son, he discovers that Robbie’s name is actually Robert Cannata.  He is Johnny Cannata’s son!  Robbie insists that he has nothing to do with his father’s business but Sonny is forced to ask just how much he can trust one of his closest friends.

This episode is a bit of a mess.  On the plus side, fans of character actors will enjoy this episode.  James Remar’s nervy performance keeps you guessing and it’s undeniably interesting to see Nathan Lane playing someone that sleazy.  Frankie Valli and Tom Signorelli make for convincing gangsters.  It’s also the first episode of the series to really feature Sonny talking about what it was like to serve in Vietnam and it deserves some credit for attempting to explore the difficulty that many veterans face when trying to adjust back to civilian life.  Robbie has not had an easy life after returning to the U.S. but now, he finally has a wife, a child, and a business.  Sonny may feel betrayed by Robbie but he’s also aware that his investigation is going to potentially ruin Robbie’s life.

On the other hand, the episode attempts to take on so much that it stretches itself a bit then.  It requires a real suspension of disbelief to accept that Sonny would just happen to be assigned to an investigation that would involve his best friend.  I mean, what are the chances?  The episode also can’t seem to decide if it wants to focus on Robbie or if it wants to focus on Dorothy and her child.  As a result, neither story really feels as if it gets all of the attention that it deserves.

Next week, the Vice Squad investigates jazz legend Miles Davis!