The TSL’s Daily Horror Grindhouse: The Sweet House of Horrors (dir by Lucio Fulci)


Mary and Roberto Vivaldi (played by Lubka Lenzi and Pascal Persiano) would appear to have a perfect life, perhaps because they do.  They’re young.  They’re attractive.  They’re in love.  They’re rich.  They have a really nice house and they have two children, a boy and a girl.  What could go wrong, right?

Well, they could come home from a party and discover that their house is being burglarized.  And the burglar could then proceed to graphically and viscously murder them, smashing in Robert’s head and, since this is a Lucio Fulci film, popping out Mary’s eye.  In fact, the opening murder is so graphic and so disturbing that it’s somewhat surprising to learn that this movie was made for television.

Of course, what’s even stranger is that the rest of the film is oddly tame, particularly for a Fulci film.  Perhaps they only had enough money in the budget for one graphic gore scene.

Anyway, the parents are now dead and the children are now orphans.  At the funeral, the children shock everyone by playing and laughing.  However, a few seconds later, they’re standing over the grave and crying.  Some people would call this an inconsistency but I think it’s the most realistic part of the film.  When you lose someone who you love, you do strange things.  There is no one proper way to grieve.  As someone who suffered through his share of personal tragedy, this was something that Fulci probably understood.

The parents may be dead but they’re not gone!  Instead, they’re haunting the house.  The children are overjoyed but their new guardian, Aunt Marcia (Cinzia Monreale, who was Emily in Fulci’s The Beyond) is not.  Marcia freaks out upon realizing that the house is haunted and it certainly doesn’t help that she’s attacked by a gigantic fly in the attic.  Her husband, the incredibly dense Carlo (Jean Christophe Bretigniere), doesn’t think anything strange is happening.  Still, Carlo does agree that it would be a good idea to sell the house and move the children elsewhere.

Nope!  The parents have no intention of letting that happen!  Of course, the dead parents main concern to kill the man who killed them but, once he’s dead (it doesn’t take that long), they’re free to spend their time pushing a real estate agent down a flight of stairs, harassing Marcia and Carlo and eventually causing an exorcist’s hand to melt.

If you’re getting the feeling that both the dead parents and the living children are pretty obnoxious, that’s because they are.  I mean, it’s one thing to not want to be separated.  That’s something we can all relate to.  It’s another thing to melt a man’s hand and then laugh about it.  Add to that, neither Marcia nor Carlo come across as being particularly villainous.  It’s not like they’re planning on murdering the kids for their inheritance or sending them to a Dickensian orphanage or anything like that.  They just want the kids to stop conducting black magic ceremonies and they want to live in a house that isn’t haunted.  No matter how much sympathy you may have for the parents or the kids, it’s hard to deny that Marcia and Carlo aren’t being all that unreasonable.

(It also doesn’t help that the film ends with the suggestion that the dead parents can stay with the kids regardless of whether the house is sold or not.)

And yet, I can’t help but like The Sweet House of Horrors.  Even though it doesn’t make much sense and it’s hampered by a low-budget (just check out the floating flames that represent the dead parents), there’s a sincerity to The Sweet House of Horrors.  The parents really do seem to love their obnoxious children and the film actually does provide some insight regarding the way that children use imagination to deal with grief.  Like many of his later film, The Sweet House of Horrors is hit-and-miss but Lucio Fulci still comes up with a few good visuals, suggesting that his heart may have been in this film in a way that it wasn’t in some of the other films he made during the final years of his storied career.  Just the fact that The Sweet House of Horrors tells such an openly sentimental story makes it unique in Fulci’s filmography.

The Sweet House of Horrors cannot be compared to such Fulci classics as The Beyond, The House By The Cemetery, The Black Cat, or Zombi 2.  But still, it’s an interesting little film and provides a hint that, even during his decline, Fulci still possessed some of the talent that made his earlier films so iconic.

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Halloween Havoc!: ZOMBIE (Variety Film 1979)


gary loggins's avatarcracked rear viewer

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I’ll admit, I’m a latecomer to the Lucio Fulci bandwagon. I viewed my first film by The Maestro, THE HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY , earlier this year, and absolutely loved it! I’ve been looking for more Fulci films to discover ever since, and recently recorded his most famous, ZOMBIE, off the El Rey Network (which I highly recommend to Grindhouse fans out there). ZOMBIE goes by many names, but this is the title I watched it under, so we’ll stick with that.

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From that opening shot of a gun pointed at the camera, then blasting the head of a rising corpse, I knew I was in for a good time! After the credits roll, we see a derelict ship floating in New York harbor. The harbor patrol boards it, and find it deserted, with rotting food and supplies strewn everywhere. One of the cops investigates further, and is killed by a zombie…

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4 Shots From Horror History: Friday the 13th, The Shining, The Beyond, The Howling


This October, I’m going to be doing something a little bit different with my contribution to 4 Shots From 4 Films.  I’m going to be taking a little chronological tour of the history of horror cinema, moving from decade to decade.

Today, we begin the 80s!

4 Shots From 4 Films

Friday the  13th (1980, dir by Sean S. Cunningham)

Friday the 13th (1980, dir by Sean S. Cunningham)

The Shining (1980, dir by Stanley Kubrick)

The Shining (1980, dir by Stanley Kubrick)

The Beyond (1981, dir by Lucio Fulci)

The Beyond (1981, dir by Lucio Fulci)

The Howling (1981, dir by Joe Dante)

The Howling (1981, dir by Joe Dante)

Horror on the Lens: The Curse (dir by David Keith)


Today’s horror on the lens is 1987’s The Curse!

This slice of rural horror is based on H.P. Lovecraft’s The Colour From Outer Space and, somewhat oddly, it was produced by Lucio Fulci.  The Curse, in this case, is a meteorite the lands near a farm and poisons all the crops.  Mayhem follows.

Seriously, country livin’ sucks.  That’s why I’m glad to live in the suburbs, away from all the aliens and the poisoned meteorites.

4 Shots From Horror History: Suspiria, Dawn of the Dead, Halloween, Zombi 2


This October, I’m going to be doing something a little bit different with my contribution to 4 Shots From 4 Films.  I’m going to be taking a little chronological tour of the history of horror cinema, moving from decade to decade.

Today, we close out the 70s!

4 Shots From 4 Films

Suspiria (1977, dir by Dario Argento)

Suspiria (1977, dir by Dario Argento)

Dawn of the Dead (1978, dir by George Romero)

Dawn of the Dead (1978, dir by George Romero)

Halloween (1978, dir by John Carpenter)

Halloween (1978, dir by John Carpenter)

Zombi 2 (1979, dir by Lucio Fulci)

Zombi 2 (1979, dir by Lucio Fulci)

Dance Scenes That I Love: The Vampire and the Ballerina and Murderrock


You know what?

I may have shared this before.

But you know what … I have had an incredibly long day so I’m just going to share it again.  This is from the 1960 film, The Vampire and the Ballerina.

Enjoy!

And, just because I love you, here’s an extra bonus dance scene from Lucio Fulci’s 1984 film Murderrock!

4 Shots From 4 Films: Perversion Story, Zombi 2, The Beyond, The New York Ripper


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20 years ago today, the great Italian director Lucio Fulci passed away in Rome.  In the years following his death, Fulci has somehow managed to be both one of the most influential and one of the most underappreciated directors of all time.  This edition of 4 Shots From 4 Films is dedicated to Fulci’s memory and his legacy.

(We’ve dedicated two editions of 4 Shots From 4 Films to Fulci in the past.  Take a look at them here and here.  Fortunately, Fulci was one of the most visually inventive directors of all time.  Even the lesser, low-budget films that he made towards the end of his career can be counted on to offer up at least one memorably surreal shot.)

4 Shots From 4 Films

Perversion Story (1969, dir by Lucio Fulci)

Perversion Story (1969, dir by Lucio Fulci)

Zombi 2 (1969, dir by Lucio Fulci)

Zombi 2 (1969, dir by Lucio Fulci)

The Beyond (1981, dir by Lucio Fulci)

The Beyond (1981, dir by Lucio Fulci)

The New York Ripper (1982, dir by Lucio Fulci)

The New York Ripper (1982, dir by Lucio Fulci)

Cleaning Out the DVR Pt 6: All-Star Horror Edition!


gary loggins's avatarcracked rear viewer

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As many of you Dear Readers know by now, classic horror has always been my favorite genre. From the Universal Monsters to Bug-Eyed Aliens to Freddie Krueger and friends (fiends?), a good scary movie is a good time! Even a bad scary movie can be fun, if I’m in the right mood. So here are six (count ’em), yes six horror films I’ve recently watched, with some great horror actors and directors at their best (and worst!):

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MIRACLES FOR SALE

(MGM 1939, D: Tod Browning)

The first great horror director, Browning teamed with Lon Chaney Sr. in the silent era to shock audiences with films like LONDON AFTER MIDNIGHT and THE UNHOLY THREE. He kicked off the Golden Age of Sound Horror with DRACULA, followed by the controversial FREAKS. MIRACLES FOR SALE was his last film, and while it’s more of a locked-room mystery, it’s loaded with those bizarre Browning…

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2015 In Review: 16 Good Things I Saw On Television


Last night, as I was trying to write up my annual list of the good things that I saw on TV during the previous year, I realized that I was struggling a bit to come up with enough entries to justify doing a list.  The more I thought about it, the more apparent it became that I watched a lot less TV than usual last year.

(Though I did manage to watch a lot of Lifetime movies…)

Furthermore, when I do think about what I saw on television last year, a lot of my memories deal with being annoyed.  I find myself fixating on those terrible Liberty Mutual Insurance Commercials and that stupid advertisement where they wouldn’t stop saying, “The Tobin Stance…” and especially that Taco Bell commercial with those horrible hipsters, Mary and Dominic, talking about how much they love breakfast tacos.

BLEH!

But, that said, there were still a few things worth praising!  (Hope is never totally lost…)  And here they are in no particular order:

1) South Park Had One Of Its Greatest Seasons Ever!

Seriously, 2015 saw South Park have one of its greatest seasons ever.  Trey and Matt took on the excesses of PC Culture and ended up providing one of the most important and incisive critiques of 21st Century America ever.  At a time when political and cultural criticism is growing increasingly dreary and predictable, South Park delivered a much-needed jolt to the system and reminded of us why satire and humor are so important in the first place.  Perhaps the best part of this season was watching dreary PC-obsessed critics desperately trying to figure out how to praise this season without acknowledging that they were the ones being satirized.

2) UnReal

One of the best shows on television premiered on the Lifetime network.  UnReal took us behind the scenes of a Bachelor-type series and provided the ultimate take down of reality television.  I love reality TV but I loved UnReal even more.

Enjoy Jacksonville, Ash.

3) Ash vs. Evil Dead

Save us, Groovy Bruce!

4) Agent Carter

Agent Carter didn’t get as much attention as it deserved during its 8-episode short season.  I loved the show’s retro look, I loved the way it satirized 40s style sexism, I loved the dashing Dominic Cooper as Iron Man’s father, and most of all, I loved Hayley Atwell as Peggy Carter!  The overrated Supergirl has been getting a lot of attention as an empowering comic book show but honestly, Agent Carter did it first, did it with style and wit, and did it a 100 times better.

5) Show Me A Hero

At times, this HBO miniseries was a bit too heavy-handed for my taste.  But overall, it was a fascinating look at municipal politics and racism up north.  (Yes, there are racists up north, as much as people refuse to admit it.)  Plus, Oscar Isaac gave a great performance as an initially idealistic politician who is literally destroyed by his attempt to do the right thing.

6) Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

HBO pretty much fell apart this year (The Brink?  Ballers?) but, fortunately, Netflix was there to offer up some of the best original programming of the year.  Kimmy Schmidt is brilliantly hilarious and gives Elle Kemper a role that is finally worthy of her talents.

Jessica Jones

7) Jessica Jones

Again, who needs Supergirl when you’ve got Jessica Jones?

8) Glenn lived on The Walking Dead!

Actually, I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.  To be honest, having Glenn survive that zombie attack totally goes against everything that The Walking Dead previously stood for.  After all, this was the show where anyone could die.  It didn’t matter if you were likable or popular or if the sight of you being ripped into pieces would traumatize the viewers.  Under the previously established rules of the show, Glenn should have died.  And yet, he didn’t.  And I can’t complain because, seriously — was anyone really ready to see Glenn die?  That said, if Glenn somehow escapes certain death a second time, it’ll be a problem.

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9) Degrassi Was Picked Up By Netflix!

Oh my God, I was so upset when I heard that my beloved Degrassi would no longer be airing on TeenNick.  I’ve always said that the day when there were no more episodes of Degrassi would be the day that I would finally have to admit to being an adult.  Fortunately, Netflix picked up Degrassi so I got to put off adulthood for at least another year.

10) More Old People TV Networks

I’m a history nerd so I love all of these TV networks that only show reruns of old people TV shows.  I may never get to personally experience what it was like to be alive in the 1970s but I can a rerun on an Old People TV Network and get a taste.  And happily, it seems like there’s a new Old People TV network every day!  Seriously, I’m getting quite an education.

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11) Mario Bava and Lucio Fulci on TCM

Last year, they showed both Shock and The House By The Cemetery on TCM!  Finally, Bava and Fulci are getting the respect they deserve.  Now, if only TCM would show a Jean Rollin film…

12) Speaking of TCM…

Actually, I just love TCM in general.  It’s without a doubt the greatest thing in the world!

13) Debate Counter-Programming

Seriously, I am so happy that there is always something else for me to watch while everyone else in the world is watching a Presidential debate.  My main fear is that, in the future, all of the networks will decide to simultaneously air the debates (like they occasionally do with charity fund raisers) and there will be no escape from the droning emptiness of it all.

(Seriously, I could imagine them doing it.  “These debates are damn important…”  Whatever.)

14) One of my tweets appeared on TV!

Seriously that was pretty neat, even if I did turn out to be 100% incorrect in my prediction.

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15) I trashed The Leisure Class and sent at least one troll into a rage spiral!

Seriously, never underestimate how much some people love the unlovable!  My oddly controversial review of the Project Greenlight film really rubbed some people the wrong way.  That some people felt so strongly about it is both alarming and amusing.

16) Dancing Sharks at The Super Bowl!

That was in 2015, wasn’t it?

Dance, Shark, dance!

Dance, Shark, dance!

Tomorrow, I’ll continue my look back at 2015 with my ten favorite non-fiction books of the year!

Previous Entries In The Best of 2015:

  1. Valerie Troutman’s 25 Best, Worst, and Gems I Saw in 2015
  2. Necromoonyeti’s Top 15 Metal Albums of 2015
  3. 2015 In Review: The Best of SyFy
  4. 2015 in Review: The Best of Lifetime
  5. 2015 In Review: Lisa’s Picks For The 16 Worst Films of 2015
  6. 2015 in Review: Lisa Marie’s 10 Favorite Songs of 2015

 

4 Shots From 4 Films: Black Sunday, 8 1/2, I maniaci, Caged Heat


4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films is all about letting the visuals do the talking.

Happy birthday to the wonderful and iconic actress, Barbara Steele!

4 Shots From 4 Films

Black Sunday (1960, dir by Mario Bava)

Black Sunday (1960, dir by Mario Bava)

8  1/2 (1963, dir by Federico Fellini)

8 1/2 (1963, dir by Federico Fellini)

I maniaci (1964, dir by Lucio Fulci)

I maniaci (1964, dir by Lucio Fulci)

Caged Heat (1974, dir by Jonathan Demme)

Caged Heat (1974, dir by Jonathan Demme)