Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 4.17 “Also Rans/Portrait of Solange”

Posted on March 19, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Almost the entire show is currently streaming on Daily Motion.

Smiles, everyone, smiles! It’s Tattoo’s birthday!

Episode 4.17 “Also Rans/Portrait of Solange”

(Dir by Leslie H. Martinson, originally aired on February 28th, 1981)

It’s hard to know where to start with this episode, it’s so odd.

The first fantasy features Larry Linville as Jerome Pepper, who works in the “women’s shoes department” at Latham Department Store. He has a crush on his co-worker, Delia (Joan Prather). Delia is also the daughter of Emmett Latham (Don Porter), the owner of the store. The shy Jerome has only one fantasy. He just wants Delia to notice him.

Well, it turns out that Delia and Emmett are on the Island! They keep their horse at the Fantasy Island Stables. Delia has challenged the owner of Selby’s Department Store, widow Amelia (Arlene Dahl), to a race. The only problem is that Delia is having trouble training her horse. The horse is fast but it always stops before crossing the finish line.

Mr. Roarke arranges for Jerome to bring a horse named The Professor to the stables. The Professor is such a charismatic horse that all other horses want to hang out with him. If The Professor is standing at the finish line, Delia’s horse will have no trouble running across it. Delia has definitely noticed Jerome now.

The day of the race, The Professor disappears! So, Jerome steals an ice cream truck (“Fantasy Island Ice Cream” is written on the side of vehicle) and drives around the island announcing, “Professor! Tutti Frutti! Professor! Tutti Frutti!” Luckily, Professor loves Tutti Frutti and escapes from the stable where Amelia’s people were holding him prisoner.

Jerome and the Professor show up at the finish line, just in time to help Delia’s horse win the race. Jerome and Delia fall in love. Amelia confesses that she’s in love with Emmett and the two decide to combine their stores. So, I guess we’re just going to ignore the fact that Amelia tried to steal The Professor!

Good Lord, this fantasy! The whole thing just felt like a combination of random plot devices that had probably been snipped out of other episodes. Perhaps it would have worked better if Jerome had been a young, nerdy guy but Larry Linville appeared to be in his 50s and far too old to require a fantasy in order to talk to a co-worker.

The second fantasy is a little bit more interesting, if just because Mr. Roarke is actually nice to Tattoo for once. Tattoo’s birthday is approaching so Roarke decides to give him a fantasy as a gift. Knowing that Tattoo is a fan of Toulouse-Lautrec (and Herve Villechaize was an acclaimed painter in real life, as well), Mr. Roarke arranges for the Traditional Dance Company of Paris to come to Fantasy Island to rehearse and so Tattoo can paint them.

While Tattoo enjoys sketching all of the dancers, his favorite subject is Solange Latienne (Elissa Leeds), who takes care of the company’s costumes but who dreams of dancing herself. We’re told that Solange is French, though she doesn’t speak with an accent and she uses an American pronunciation for her last name. Tattoo falls for Solange but the company’s arrogant choreographer, Mark Ellison (David Groh), goes out of his way to try to keep Solange away from Tattoo. Knowing that Tattoo is watching from a distance, Mark kisses Solange. Thinking that Solange has rejected him, Tatoo throws away a sketch he had done of her. Awwwwww!

Mr. Roarke informs Tattoo that an emergency meeting of the “Island Council,” has been scheduled for the night. (This is the first time we’ve ever heard of this Island Council.) Tattoo agrees to go in Roarke’s place but it turns out that the meeting is a surprise party! The owner of the Traditional Dance Company, Alfred Gerrard (MacDonald Carey), buys Tattoo’s sketches. Then Solange dances as a part of the birthday celebration and Alfred is so impressed that he makes her a part of the company. Take that, Mark!

So, both Solange and Tattoo’s fantasies come true. Though Solange still leaves the Island so, once again, Tattoo’s heart is broken. Again, awwwwww!

Elissa Leeds was convincing neither as a French girl nor as a dancer but the second fantasy was still enjoyable, if just because it gave Herve Villechaize a rare chance to do something more than announce the plane and ask Mr. Roarke to explain everyone’s fantasies. Villechaize did a good job in this episode and it was nice to see he and Montalban pretending to like each other.

It was an uneven episode but at least Tattoo had a nice birthday.

Music Video of the Day: All I Remember by Brian Eno (2024, dir by Anamoprh)

Posted on March 19, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Let’s see what Brian Eno has been up to.

Enjoy!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 1.18 “Cry Wolf”

Posted on March 18, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, someone is calling in false emergencies and neither Baker nor Ponch are going to let him get away with it!

Episode 1.18 “Cry Wolf”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on February 16th, 1978)

A creepy weirdo named Walt (Brad David) is angry at the world. He hasn’t been able to get a job since he got out of prison and his sister is always giving him a hard time. Walt deals with his anger by driving up to police call boxes and phoning in reports of imaginary accidents. For every call, the fire department and the highway patrol waste precious recourses responding. Getraer wants the caller caught and he’s placed Jon in charge of the task force to take him down.

This is one of those episodes where the emphasis is on how all the various departments work together to keep people safe. Whenever Walt places a call, we’re presented with a montage of cops and firemen racing to be the first one to arrive at the “accident.” Though the show makes clear that Walt is not thinking straight and that he’s not in a good place mentally, the emphasis is still on how many resources are wasted on his calls.

It gets so bad that Jon and Ponch start to assume that every call is a prank. When someone calls in to say that a helicopter has crashed on the highway, Jon is shocked to discover that a helicopter actually has crashed. He and Ponch rush the plane’s cargo — rare blood for an operation — to a local hospital and are scolded for showing up late. That’s the danger of crying wolf. When Walt is finally caught by Baker and Ponch, he attempts to jump off a bridge. Baker and Ponch stop him, of course. As they pull him back to safety, Baker says that Walt is lucky they weren’t busy answering a false call.

This was a good episode for Baker, as he also got a subplot in which a minor motorcycle crash led to him meeting and dating an X-ray technician named Karen Rayburn (Kathryn Holcomb). Baker and Karen were a cute couple and there was something undeniably charming about how nervous Baker got whenever he had to flirt. Larry Wilcox was not the most expressive actor but his stiff demeanor was put to good use in this episode.

This was not a bad episode. Since the majority of the episode focused on one storyline, this episode felt more cohesive than some of the ones that came before it. As usual, the main highlight was watching Baker and Ponch weave their way in and out of traffic. The scenery was lovely and there was even an exploding helicopter! You can’t go wrong with that.

Monday Live Tweet Alert: Join Us For Fatal Deviation!

Posted on March 18, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in hosting a few weekly live tweets on twitter and occasionally Mastodon. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of Mastodon’s #MondayActionMovie ! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We snark our way through it.

Tonight, for #MondayActionMovie, the film will be 1998’s Fatal Deviation! Selected and hosted by Bunny Hero, this film features motorcycles and explosives! So, you know it has to be good!

It should make for a night of fun viewing and I invite all of you to join in. If you want to join the live tweets, just hop onto Mastodon, pull up Fatal Deviation on YouTube, start the movie at 8 pm et, and use the #MondayActionMovie hashtag! The live tweet community is a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.6 “Buddies”

Posted on March 18, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Crockett discovers that one of his oldest friends has a secret.

Episode 2.6 “Buddies”

(Dir by Henry Mastrogeorge, originally aired on November 1st, 1985)

When sleazy stand-up comedian Morty Price (a youngish Nathan Lane) attempts to sexually assault a cocktail waitress named Dorothy (Eszter Balint), he ends up getting fatally stabbed with a steak knife. Dorothy flees from the crime scene, taking her baby and grabbing a bunch of random papers that, unknown to her, prove that Morty Price was placing illegal bets with mobster Frank Doss (Frankie Valli). This information could keep Doss from being able to get a casino license in Florida.

Because Doss and his partner, Johnny Cannata (Tom Signorelli), are mob-connected, Castillo and Vice take over the investigation of Price’s murder. Sonny and Tubbs learn, from an informant (Karla Tamburrelli), that Price took Dorothy up to his room before he was murdered. While Crockett and Tubbs search for Dorothy to find out what happened with Price, Doss and Cannata send their men to track down Dorothy and keep the papers from reaching the police.

During the investigation, Sonny is stunned to come across security footage of one of his oldest friends, Robbie Cann (James Remar), meeting with Doss and Cannata. Robbie not only served in Vietnam with Sonny but he has also recently asked Sonny to be his son’s godfather. Robbie has just opened up a club and, as he explains to Sonny, he finally feels like he’s something more than just a loser. When Sonny confronts Robbie about meeting with the gangsters, Robbie admits that he borrowed money from them to start the club but he insists that he doesn’t have any other type of relationship with them. However, when Sonny attends the christening of Robbie’s son, he discovers that Robbie’s name is actually Robert Cannata. He is Johnny Cannata’s son! Robbie insists that he has nothing to do with his father’s business but Sonny is forced to ask just how much he can trust one of his closest friends.

This episode is a bit of a mess. On the plus side, fans of character actors will enjoy this episode. James Remar’s nervy performance keeps you guessing and it’s undeniably interesting to see Nathan Lane playing someone that sleazy. Frankie Valli and Tom Signorelli make for convincing gangsters. It’s also the first episode of the series to really feature Sonny talking about what it was like to serve in Vietnam and it deserves some credit for attempting to explore the difficulty that many veterans face when trying to adjust back to civilian life. Robbie has not had an easy life after returning to the U.S. but now, he finally has a wife, a child, and a business. Sonny may feel betrayed by Robbie but he’s also aware that his investigation is going to potentially ruin Robbie’s life.

On the other hand, the episode attempts to take on so much that it stretches itself a bit then. It requires a real suspension of disbelief to accept that Sonny would just happen to be assigned to an investigation that would involve his best friend. I mean, what are the chances? The episode also can’t seem to decide if it wants to focus on Robbie or if it wants to focus on Dorothy and her child. As a result, neither story really feels as if it gets all of the attention that it deserves.

Next week, the Vice Squad investigates jazz legend Miles Davis!

Music Video of the Day: Dance Alone by SIA, featuring Kylie Minogue (2024, dir by Dano Cerny)

Posted on March 18, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

What better way to start the week than with the latest music video from Kylie Minogue and Sia?

For a long time, I resented Sia for hijacking the finale of Survivor 32 and spending so much time talking about her love for Tai that we never got a chance to hear why the jury had voted for Michele over Aubrey. But eventually I realized that was more Jeff Probst’s fault as opposed to Sia’s. Sia may have run out on stage unannounced but Probst is the one who let her stick around. Plus, Music was such a bizarrely ill-conceived film that it’s hard not to appreciate Sia’s refusal to be anyone other than Sia.

(For the record, I think Michele won because the overly analytical Aubrey seemed like she was probably a bit of a pain to live with on the beach.)

As for Kylie, she’s one of the best of all time.

Enjoy!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi Junior High 2.9 “Dog Days”

Posted on March 17, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi Junior High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1987 to 1989! The series can be streamed on YouTube!

This week, we check back in with Stephanie and Arthur.

Episode 2.9 “Dog Days”

(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on February 29th, 1988)

Stephanie is feeling depressed. She no longer cares about keeping up her grades. She no longer changes clothes or puts on makeup when she arrives at school. She wants nothing to do with her former best friends, the Farrell Twins. She’s no longer interested in being school president or even trying to capture Simon’s attention.

When her friends, her teachers, and her mother ask her why she’s so depressed, Stephanie refuses to tell them. “Maybe I’ll just kill myself,” she says at one point and while the Farrell Twins assume that she’s just being overdramatic, the viewer knows that Stephanie has been skipping school so that she can gaze up at a bridge and fantasize about jumping off.

(The bridge that appears in this episode was an actual bridge in Toronto that was nicknamed “Suicide Bridge,” because so many people did jump from it. So, Canadian viewers would have immediately understood the horrible significance of Stephanie standing in front of that particular bridge and staring up at it.)

Meanwhile, Stephanie’s mother wants Arthur to come over for dinner. Arthur is curious about the dinner but he’s also very concerned about what he’s going to do with Phil, an adorable puppy that has started following him around. Arthur tries to take the dog to school with him, hiding him first in his book bag and secondly in the school’s boiler room. Both times, the dog is discovered and Arthur eventually ends up with detention. Myself, I’m not a dog person but I thought the puppy was adorable and he definitely should have been enrolled in the school.

At dinner, Stephanie and Arthur’s mom announces that she’s getting married to Jerry, her latest boyfriend. Stephanie throws a tantrum and Arthur grabs Phil and leaves the house. Stephanie follows after him and finds him in the park. They have a conversation about how awkward their parents’ divorce has made their lives while sitting in the swings and Stephanie cheers up a little, realizing that Arthur will always be there for her.

During the first season of Degrassi Junior High, nearly every episode focused on Stephanie and Arthur. Up until this episode, they spent most of the second season in the background, overshadowed by the drama surrounding Spike’s pregnancy and Joey’s dreams of rock stardom. For me, as someone who likes to keep up with what’s going on with people, it was kind of nice to see the two of them finally get another spotlight episode. This episode hit close to home for me, as I struggled with depression when I was in high school and I also used to make life Hell for anyone who thought he could be my stepfather. I related to Stephanie in this episode and Nicole Stoffman did a great job of capturing the feeling of oppressive ennui that had afflicted her. Duncan Waugh also gave a good performance as Arthur, with this episode showing how much he had matured since the first season while also acknowledging that Arthur is still basically a very naive kid. I just hope he was allowed to keep the dog.

In typical Degrassi Junior High fashion, this episode ends without any clear or definite resolution. Stephanie is doing a little better but she’s still depressed and she’s still angry about her mom marrying Jerry. That was one of the great things about Degrassi. Whereas other shows always tried to wrap everything up in 30 minutes or an hour, Degrassi had the courage to admit that things were not always that easy or simple.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Review: 3/11/24 — 3/17/24

Posted on March 17, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I hope everyone had a wonderful St. Patrick’s Day!

Here’s what I watched, read, and listened to this week!

Films I Watched:

Field of Dreams (1989)
Malibu Express (1985)
Manhunter (1986)
The Overnight (2022)
The Squad (2023)
Stay Tuned (1992)
Tower of London (1962)

Television Shows I Watched:

The Amazing Ride
Baywatch Nights
Blind Date
Bubblegum Crash
Chapelle Show
Check It Out!
CHiPs
Degrassi Junior High
Fantasy Island
Friday the 13th: The Series
Highway to Heaven
The Love Boat
Miami Vice
Monsters
Night Flight
Puppetman
Rolanda
Survivor
T and T
The Trisha Goddard Show
The Vanishing Shadow
Welcome Back Kotter

Books I Read:

The Family Across The Street (2021) by Nicole Trope

Music To Which I Listened:

Adi Ulmansky
Art of Noise
Average White Band
Britney Spears
The Chemical Brothers
Dropkick Murphys
ELO
Heidi Klum
The Ides of March
The Killers
Maggie Lindemann
Muse
Phantogram
PVRIS
Saint Motel
Siouxise and the Banshees
Talking Heads
Wild Youth

Live Tweets:

News From Last Week:

Links From Last Week:

Links From The Site:

Leonard shared the trailer for The Crow!
Jeff reviewed Marked Man!
Erin shared Sin Beach, Movie Fun, Two Way Beach Girl, The Pale Blonde of Sand Street, Amazing Stories, Digging The Love Goddess, and Image of St. Patrick!
I shared music videos from Wild Youth, Art of Noise, The Ides of March, PVRIS, Maggie Lindemann, Heidi Klum, and Kate Hudson!
I paid tribute to David Cronenberg and Raoul Walsh!
I shared a scene from Inception!
I reviewed The Oscars, Miami Vice, CHiPs, Fantasy Island, Baywatch Nights, The Love Boat, Monsters, Puppetman, Highway to Heaven, T and T, Friday the 13th, Welcome Back Kotter, and Check it Out!
I reviewed The Squad and The Death Of Me Yet!
I congratulated Godzilla on his Oscar victory!
I congratulated you on surviving Oscar Sunday!
I shared my week in television!

More From Us:

At Days Without Incident, Leonard wrote about the Oscars!
At my music site, I shared songs from Siouxsie and the Banshees, Average White Band, The Killers, Talking Heads, Britney Spears, Phantogram, and Haim!
At her photography site, Erin shared Green, Meditation Garden, The Alley As A Painting, Green Tree Against A Gray Sky, Black-and-White Street, Sky and Ground, and Chair and Ladder!

Want to see what I did last week? Click here!

Retro Television Review: The Death Of Me Yet (dir by John Llewellyn Moxey)

Posted on March 17, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay. Today’s film is 1971’s The Death Of Me Yet! It can be viewed on YouTube.

Welcome to Middletown!

Middletown is a nice, comfy, and friendly little town. As you might guess from the name, it seems just like the type of town that you would expect to find in the middle of the country. Edward Young (Doug McClure) is a friendly and popular citizen of the town. Everyone loves to see Edward walking around Middletown with his girlfriend, Alice (Meg Foster, of the otherworldly eyes). But one day, Edward comes home to find a message waiting for him. He has been “activated” and it’s time for him to leave Middletown and head to …. THE UNITED STATES!

You see, Middletown is in the middle of a country. It’s in the middle of Russia, to be exact. It’s a KGB training center, where sleeper agents learn how to pass for Americans.

Edward heads to America, where he takes on the name of Paul Towers. Over the years, Paul settles in a town that looks a lot like Middletown. Paul becomes a newspaper publisher and he comes to love America. He also marries Sibby (Rosemary Forsyth), the sister of defense contract Hank Keller (Dana Elcar). When one of Hank’s executives dies under mysterious circumstances, Hank offers to bring Paul into the business.

Paul is reluctant, both because he doesn’t know if he could pass the background check that the FBI is going to run on him and also because he suspects that someone is trying to kill him! When he sees Alice and his former KGB handler (Richard Basehart) in town, Paul realizes that he’s going to have to pick a side and face the consequences of all of his actions.

The Death of Me Yet is an enjoyably twisty thriller, one that embraces the melodrama while having some fun with the idea of a bunch of sleeper agents doing business in a generic American town. Doug McClure’s natural earnestness makes him an odd choice for the role of a lifelong spy but the casting works in that it explains why no one has ever suspected Paul in the past. As always, Darren McGavin is a welcome presence as the FBI agent who assures Paul that he will be doing a thorough background check. Richard Basehart makes for a good villain and Meg Foster’s enigmatic screen presence keeps the viewer guessing as to what her ultimate goal may be.

The film ends with the hint of continued adventures for Paul. It wouldn’t surprise me if this movie was made with an eye on turning it into a weekly series. As far as I know, that series never happened, though The Americans would later feature many of the same themes and ideas found in The Death of Me Yet. The Death of Me Yet holds up as an entertaining espionage thriller.