Adventures in Cleaning Out The DVR: Buried Secrets (dir by Monika Mitchell)

Posted on November 19, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

So, as you know if you’re one of our regular readers, I am currently in the process of cleaning out my DVR. That means that I’ve spent this week watching and reviewing a countless number of Lifetime and SyFy films. It’s been fun and I do love watching Lifetime films but I also have to admit that I’m glad to see that I only have 8 films left to go.

Earlier today, I continued to make progress by watching Buried Secrets. Buried Secrets originally aired on October 25th, on the Lifetime Movie Network. I didn’t get to see it when it originally aired because I was busy dancing in my underwear at a Halloween party. Fortunately, that’s why we have DVRs!

So, how to describe the plot of Buried Secrets? Seriously, it’s not easy as you might assume. There is a lot of stuff going on in Buried Secrets. In fact, it’s probably one of the most convoluted Lifetime films that I’ve ever seen. But let’s give it a shot:

Sarah Winters (Sarah Clarke) was a police detective who was involved in investigating the mysterious murder of police informant, Derrick Saunders (Fulvio Cecere). However, before Sarah could solve the crime, she was accused of corruption and kicked off the force. Sarah, of course, was totally innocent and she feels that she was set up by one of her fellow detectives, Joan Mueller (Veena Sood). Mueller is now chief-of-police, largely because of the attention she gained by accusing Sarah of being corrupt.

Sarah also has a teenage daughter (Angela de Lieva) and a mother (Gabrielle Rose), who she doesn’t get along with. This is largely because Sarah was adopted and she is upset because her adoptive mother refuses to give her any information about her biological parents.

Since Sarah is no longer on the force, she writes a novel that becomes a best seller. The novel is based on the murder of Derrick Saunders and features an incompetent, untrustworthy detective named Meckler. When Mueller demands to know if Meckler is based on her, Sarah says that she is. In the real world, this would lead to Sarah being sued for libel and probably being driven to bankruptcy.

However, this is Lifetime world! Mueller is concerned about much more than the real identity of Detective Meckler. Mueller thinks that the book contains details of the crime, which prove that Sarah was the murderer.

Meanwhile, Sarah’s boyfriend, Barry (Dan Payne), is working on the security detail of Mayor Harding (Sarah-Jane Redmond). Harding is running for reelection but it looks like she might be on the verge of losing her office. So, Harding starts to sleep with Barry to get information about Sarah. Mayor Harding has decided that if she campaigns on a platform that calls for banning Sarah’s book, she’ll win reelection.

And yes, that makes absolutely no sense but just go with it.

Meanwhile, there’s a mysterious homeless-looking guy (Teach Grant) and he keeps popping up at the strangest times. He shows up at a book singing. He follows Sarah’s daughter in the park. And, of course, he spends a lot of time at the local DNA lab…

Okay, so you might think, after reading all of this, that Buried Secrets doesn’t make much sense. And it doesn’t! But that, to be honest, is the film’s main appeal. Since Buried Secrets refuses to be tied down by logic, that means that literally anything can happen! At it’s best, Buried Secrets creates its own hyper realized world, where everything is just a bit over-the-top and strange. It’s a world where a major municipal election hinges on banning a novel, where book signings are fraught with drama and peril, and where one teenager can change an entire city’s mind just by grabbing a microphone and giving an impassioned speech. It’s all so strange that there’s no way not to enjoy it.

Adventures in Cleaning Out the DVR: The Wrong Girl (dir by Jason Bourque)

Posted on November 18, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

After I wrote my review of Caught and watched the latest episodes of Survivor and South Park, it was time for me to continue cleaning out the DVR by re-watching and reviewing The Wrong Girl. The Wrong Girl premiered on Lifetime on May 16th of this year. At the time that it originally aired, I was in the middle of doing my Embracing The Melodrama, Part II series of reviews and I simply did not have the opportunity to properly review it. But fortunately, I did DVR it.

The Wrong Girl tells the story of Sophie Allen (Sarah Grey), a teenager who is intelligent, responsible, fairly chaste, and a talented pianist. She’s the dream teenager but one day, she meets and befriends the new girl in school, Michelle (Kirsten Prout).

At first, Michelle — with her oversized glasses and her social awkwardness — seems like she’s just shy and introverted. But, the more that she hangs out with Sophie, the more another side of Michelle starts to emerge. It soon becomes obvious that Michelle is obsessed with being Sophie’s friend and more than a little possessive. She’s also a bad influence, telling Sophie that she’s playing well when she clearly is not. When Sophie’s music teacher says she doesn’t want Michelle hanging out around piano practice, Michelle goes to extreme methods to change her mind. When a condescending English teacher threatens to fail Sophie, Michelle blackmails him into changing his mind.

But then Sophie starts to feel that Michelle is getting too possessive and Michelle starts to turn against her “best friend.” Michelle starts to dress and do her hair exactly like Sophie and then Sophie catches Michelle making out with her crush. Someone breaks into Michelle’s mother’s office and throws stuff around. When Sophie makes the mistake of telling Michelle that she’s scared of spiders, can anyone really be surprised when a huge spider suddenly shows up creeping across her piano in the middle of a recital?

The Wrong Girl starts out as a typical Lifetime “obsessive friendship” film but, once Sophie starts to investigate Michelle’s background, there’s a plot twist that pushes The Wrong Girl over the line from melodrama to over the top craziness. And that’s okay! The over-the-top craziness is one reason why people like me tend to love Lifetime movies!

Sarah Grey and Kirsten Prout are both well-cast, director Jason Bourque keeps the action moving at a good pace, and you get to hear a lot of really good piano music. Kara Veri is credited as playing the piano and she does a great job! The Wrong Girl is enjoyable fun, the exact type of movie that justifies why so many of us watch Lifetime.

(On a purely administrative note: With this review, I have 8 more films to watch and review and then my DVR will be officially cleaned out!)

Adventures in Cleaning Out the DVR: Caught (dir by Maggie Kiley)

Posted on November 18, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Since I’m still in the process of recovering from my sprained foot, I am spending today at home. And I have to tell you that this whole resting and taking it easy thing is starting to drive me crazy! Other than a very short police standoff in Arlington, there was absolutely nothing interesting on TV this afternoon. So, in an effort to stave off impending boredom, I decided to continue cleaning out my DVR.

I just finished watching Caught, a film which made its Lifetime premiere on November 7th. (I missed it because I was out celebrating my upcoming birthday with my friends in the SBS. Sexy Bitch Squad Forever!!!) Much like Stockholm, Pennsylvania, Caught was originally meant to be a theatrical release. It played at a few film festivals earlier this year until it was finally picked up by Lifetime.

And watching Caught, it’s easy to see why it ended up going straight to television. It’s not that Caught is a bad movie (especially when compared to the turgid mess that was Stockholm, Pennsylvania). It’s just that there’s nothing really cinematic about Caught. There’s no one moment or scene that makes you think, “I really wish I could see this on a big screen.” From the start, Caught feels as if it was tailor-made for Lifetime and that’s where it belongs.

And again, that’s not a criticism. I’ve lost track of how many of them that I’ve reviewed on this site but, by now, you should have no doubt that I happen to like Lifetime movies.

Caught opens with teenager Allie (Stefanie Scott) having a bad day. Because she’s failing some of her classes, she’s been kicked off the school’s track team. When she’s not sleeping through class or going for a run, Allie works at a resteraunt, where her boss just happens to be her mother (Mary B. McCann). After a day of dealing with bad grades and rude customers, Allie is looking forward to continuing her affair with the much older, Justin (Sam Page). However, once Allie’s mom meets Justin, she declares that she no longer wants Allie to see him.

And then, to top it all off, Allie gets kidnapped and ends up chained to a chair in an attic.

Who has kidnapped Allie? Well, judging from such previous Lifetime movies as The Bride He Bought Online and Stolen From The Suburbs, the obvious answer would be the Russian Mafia but, in Allie’s case, the obvious answer is wrong. Instead, she has been kidnapped by two sisters who aren’t really sure what they’re planning on doing with her. The younger of the two, Paige (Amelia Rose Blaire), is a shy introvert who starts to have second thoughts almost immediately. The older sister is Sabrina (Anna Camp). Sabrina masterminded the abduction. Sabrina also happens to be married to Justin…

Now, I have to admit, that I had my doubts when this movie started. Allie seemed like such a boring character that it was difficult for me to get emotionally invested in … well, in anything that she was involved with. When her coach told her she was off the team, I thought to myself, “You should have paid attention in class.” When her mom yelled at her for being late to work, I thought to myself, “I’m glad that I’ve never had to really work hard for a living.” And when Justin showed up, I shrugged and thought, “Why wouldn’t the two most boring people on Earth be drawn to each other?”

But then Allie got kidnapped and I quickly realized that Allie’s blandness may have very well been intentional. Because, ultimately, Caught is not about Allie. Instead, Caught is totally about Sabrina and, even more importantly, it’s about Anna Camp’s thoroughly wonderful performance in the lead role. Sabrina is totally batshit insane and Camp has a lot of fun playing that aspect of her personality. And, because she is so insane and so neurotic about trying to hide that fact, Sabrina is also the only interesting person in the entire movie. Throughout Caught, she struggles so hard to keep the kidnapping from going wrong that it’s hard not to sympathize with her. It didn’t matter what happened, I found myself on Sabrina’s side. Really, I found myself thinking, Sabrina just killed a cop? Well, maybe he shouldn’t have insisted on trying to search the house even after she told him it wasn’t necessary! Oh, did Sabrina just threaten to kill someone else? Well, maybe everyone just needs to get off her back, y’know!? Sabrina’s like a suburban hostess watching in terror as a drunk uncle and an out-of-control pre-schooler team up to destroy her dinner party. It’s up to her to somehow clean up the mess while continually to assure all of her guests that all is well, even when it obvious is not. Sabrina may say some hateful things during the movie but she always manages to say them all with a smile. Quite frankly, we could all learn a listen from Sabrina.

Once you realize that Caught is totally about Sabrina (and, even more importantly, totally about Anna Camp’s lead performance), it actually works fairly well.

Adventures in Cleaning Out The DVR: Cleveland Abduction (dir by Alex Kalymnios)

Posted on November 17, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

After I finished up Ominous, it was time to deal with Cleveland Abduction. Why was it something that I had to “deal with?” Well, I originally watched Cleveland Abduction when it was broadcast on Lifetime way back in May. I meant to review it when I originally watched it but, every time I sat down to write about this movie, I just couldn’t. Just thinking about the movie and the true story that inspired it was too overwhelming and upsetting. Cleveland Abduction is one of the most disturbing and depressing (and yet also inspiring) movies that I’ve ever seen. It’s certainly the most emotionally intense film to ever be made for Lifetime.

A friend of mine actually told me that she could only watch 15 minutes of Cleveland Abduction and then had to stop because she didn’t want the film’s ugliness to get inside her head. And I don’t blame her. Cleveland Abduction is an ugly film about three young women who were kidnapped, held prisoner, and repeatedly raped by an evil man. The film does not flinch from showing the details of their ordeal and it is all the more disturbing for being based on a true story.

I don’t know if I believe in demons or possession or anything like that but I do know that Ariel Castro was an evil man. Castro, a school bus driver and wannabe musician, abducted Michelle Knight, Gina DeJesus, and Amanda Berry off the streets of Cleveland. For 11 years, he held them prisoner in his filthy house. (Disturbingly, some of Castro’s neighbors actually saw the girls in the house but refused to get involved.) Rather than face a jury and spend the rest of his life as imprisoned as the three women he held captive in his house, Castro committed suicide in his jail cell.

The film centers on Castro’s first known victim, single mother Michelle Knight (a poignant performance from Taryn Manning, who perfectly captures Michelle’s quiet strength). Castro (played, in properly brutal fashion, by Raymond Cruz) runs into Michelle while she’s walking to court to try to win custody of her son. Castro offers her a ride and Michelle agrees. Castro takes her back to his house and her 11-year nightmare begins.

And it’s not easy to watch, nor should it be. The film doesn’t shy away from showing what Michelle and, eventually, the other two victims went through. Spending her days either handcuffed or in a locked bedroom, Michelle’s only escape comes from thinking about her son. When the other two girls are abducted, Michelle comforts them and help them to remain strong. Meanwhile, on the outside, the police assume that Michelle has just run away from her old life and they refuse to even look for her.

It’s ugly and disturbing and difficult and infuriating to watch. As I watched, I continually asked myself if I would be able to survive if I ever found myself in the same situation. I always like to assume that, since I always have pepper spray and I’m a fairly god runner, nobody would ever be able to abduct me but, as I sit here couch-bound with a sprained foot, I know that it’s never that simple. I also like to assume that I could be as strong as Michelle Knight. Hopefully, I’ll never have to find out.

But here’s the thing — as disturbing and nightmarish as this film has to be — it’s ultimately a very inspiring film. For all the ugliness, Cleveland Abduction is ultimately a film about survival and tribute to the strength, courage, and sisterhood of Michelle Knight, Gina DeJesus, and Amanda Berry. Based on Michelle’s book and featuring a compelling lead performance from Taryn Manning, Cleveland Abduction is not an easy film to watch but it is one that should be watched.

Adventures in Cleaning out the DVR: Dangerous Company (dir by Sheldon Larry)

Posted on November 17, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Continuing in my efforts to clean out the DVR (as well as post a review of every single film that premiere on Lifetime, LMN, or the SyFy network this year), I just watched Dangerous Company. Dangerous Company originally aired on LMN on August 15th, 2015.

Alicia Leigh Willis plays Pauline, the CEO of Wendy Blue Fashion. Pauline inherited the company from her mother, who, years earlier, died of dementia. Pauline took care of her mother in her final days and still resents the fact that her sister, Deanna (Susan Slome), was not there to help. Pauline also lives in fear that she will someday follow in her mother’s footsteps.

At the movie begins, it appears that Pauline’s fears may be coming true. She is frequently forgetful and keeps losing her cell phone. Her husband, Aaron (Rick Ravenello), has to frequently remind her what their nightly plans are. Eventually, her assistant — Elizabeth (Melissa Marty) — confesses that she’s been covering up a lot of Pauline’s mistakes. When Pauline starts to tell Elizabeth about her mother, Elizabeth reveals that Pauline has told her this story many times in the past.

Finally, when Pauline goes to see a doctor (David Alan Graf), she suddenly freaks out in the examining room and, when a man claiming to be her husband shows up to pick her up, the terrified Pauline claims that she does not know who he is. Finally, she’s given a sedative and, when she wakes up, Aaron tells her that the man she didn’t recognize was him.

And, at first, both Aaron and Elizabeth seem to be so concerned and helpful but, as the movie progresses, you start to wonder about both of them. They are both just a little bit too eager for Pauline to say in bed and remove herself from running the company. Whenever Pauline says that she’s okay, Aaron replies with, “Your mother used to say that.” And then, of course, there’s a controversial business proposal that will result in Wendy Blue Fashion shipping jobs overseas. Aaron is all for it. Pauline is opposed.

(WAY TO STAND UP FOR AMERICA, PAULINE! USA! USA! USA!)

For the first hour or so, Dangerous Company keeps you guessing. Is Pauline really suffering from dementia or is this all just an elaborate Gaslight-like plot? Alicia Leigh Willis does a great job portraying Pauline’s fear and confusion and director Sheldon Larry keeps the viewers off-balance. Of course, since this is a Lifetime movie, we shouldn’t be shocked to discover that it all actually is a plot to steal Pauline’s company but still, Dangerous Company is very good at doing what it does.

Incidentally, my favorite character was Elizabeth, the duplicitous administrative assistant. I’ve always been of the opinion that all of us office administrators could secretly rule the country if we wanted to and I have to give full props to Elizabeth for proving me right! You go, girl!

Adventures In Cleaning Out The DVR: Stolen Daughter (dir by Jason Bourque)

Posted on November 15, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

After I finished watching Lost Boy earlier today, I realized that it was time to rewatch and review Stolen Daughter. Stolen Daughter originally had its Lifetime premiere on July 26th. I watched it and, if I remember correctly, I had a lot of fun live-tweeting it. So, why hadn’t I reviewed Stolen Daughter up until this point? The final week of July was not an easy one for me. The world seemed angry (this was the same week that Cecil the Lion was killed in Zimbawe), I was dreading the idea of getting older, and — briefly — I was too overwhelmed by all the angst to write. It happens.

But anyway, enough about me and my obsessive personality! Let’s talk about Stolen Daughter!

As Stolen Daughter opens, Martha Dixel (Rachel Hayward) is on the verge of being released from prison. After shooting the drunk driver who killed both her husband and her daughter, Martha was convicted of manslaughter. She’s been both a model inmate and psychiatric patient and, now that she’s been paroled, she has no intention of ever returning to prison. However, the world is not quite ready to accept Martha’s freedom. As she leaves prison, she is greeted by people protesting her release. Then, after dealing with all that, Martha is struck by a van.

As a result of getting hit by that van, a dazed Martha now believes that both her husband and her daughter are still alive. After the driver gets out to check on her, Martha steals his van. After driving around for a while, Martha thinks that she sees her daughter at a local playground. Drawing a gun, Martha kidnaps her “daughter” and, after tossing her into the van, drives off to meet up with her “husband.”

Of course, the teenage girl who Martha had kidnapped is not her daughter. Instead, her name is Sarah Wilkins (Sarah Dugdale) and she is the daughter of Stacy Wilkins (Andrea Roth). Stacy happens to be a police detective and, as soon as she learns that her daughter has been kidnapped, Stacy demands to be put on the case.

However, Stacy has demons of her own. She had been on psychiatric leave after being involved in a hostage situation that led to the hostage being killed in front of her and has only recently returned to active duty. As a result, the condescending detective who has been put in charge of the case — a real prick named Barker (Josh Byer, who has appeared in several other films directed by Stolen Daughter‘s director, Jason Bourque) — refuses to let Stacy anywhere near the investigation.

And so, working on her own, Stacy tries to track down her daughter. Meanwhile, Sarah has to figure out how to keep the increasingly unstable Martha from snapping even further.

There are literally hundreds of Lifetime films that center around kidnapped daughters but what sets Stolen Daughter apart is that Martha is a much more complex character than we traditionally expect to find in these movies. When we first meet Martha, it’s impossible not to feel sympathy for her. Even after she gets hit by that van and kidnaps Sarah, the film makes it clear that Martha is not in control of what she’s doing. As the film progresses, Martha becomes more and more unstable and we start to realize just how dangerous she actually is. Even though she’s frightening by the end of Stolen Daughter, you still can’t help but feel for her.

Sarah Dugdale’s had a pretty busy year on both the Lifetime and SyFy networks. Not only has she had to deal with a Sorority Murder but she also found herself trapped in The Hollow and was one of the Sugarbabies. She did a good job in those movies and she does a good job here as well. Finally, Andrea Roth totally kicks ass in the role of Stacy. Check out the scene where she beats up a guy while searching for daughter. I am so totally going to learn how to do that!

Stolen Daughter was directed by Jason Bourque, who has been responsible for some of the more entertaining movies to show up on both Lifetime and the SyFy network over the past two years. Along with writing my favorite SyFy film, End of the World, he also directed a film, called Black Fly, that I think everyone should see.

One good thing about Lifetime is that they reshow all of their movies like a hundred times. So, keep an eye out for Stolen Daughter.

Adventures in Cleaning Out The DVR: Lost Boy (dir by Tara Miele)

Posted on November 15, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

After watching River Raft Nightmare, it was time to finish watching Lost Boy. I say finish because, if I am remembering correctly, I actually watched the first hour when Lost Boy had its Lifetime premiere on July 25th. However, after 60 minutes, I turned over to SyFy and I watched Lavalantula. At the time, I probably said, “I’ll finish watching this on the DVR.” And it only took me 3 months to get around to it!

Lost Boy opens with every parent’s worst nightmare. Six year-old Mitchell Harris is flying a kite in the park when he’s abducted. Eleven years later, Mitchell is still missing but his mother, Laura (Virginia Madsen), is convinced that he’s still out there. She continues to put up flyers and, every time the police call to ask her to identify another body, Laura fears that it will turn out to be her son.

In the 11 years since Mitchell vanished, Laura has become a successful and influential advocate for missing persons but it’s come at the cost of her family. She is separated from her husband, Greg (Mark Valley). When Greg’s new girlfriend, Amanda (Carly Pope), gets pregnant, Greg asks Laura to finalize the divorce. Laura is hesitant, not wanting to end their marriage while Mitchell might still be out there and looking for them. For his part, Greg seems to have moved on and accepted that his son his dead. Meanwhile, Mitchell’s twin sister, Summer (Sosie Bacon), deals with her guilt and anger by rebelling.

(It wouldn’t be a Lifetime movie without a rebellious teenage daughter.)

One night, a 17 year-old boy (Matthew Fahey) emerges from the shadows and stares at one of Laura’s flyers. Soon, the boy shows up at the high school, watching Summer. And then, one night, the boy suddenly appears at Laura’s front door. When Laura sees him, she is immediately convinced that Mitchell has returned home.

But has he? Both Greg and Amanda are suspicious of “Mitchell.” For one thing, Mitchell doesn’t seem to have many clear memories of his family. As well, he refuses to tell anyone who kidnapped him or where he’s been. He encourages Summer and his younger brother, Jonathan (Jacob Buster), to do dangerous things and then threatens to hurt them if they tell on him. Though Mitchell makes a big show of having nightmares about his ordeal, he’s actually awake while he’s tossing and turning.

Perhaps most damning of all, when Mitchell, Greg, and Jonathan take a DNA test, Mitchell switches his DNA with Jonathan’s and again threatens to kill Jonathan…

So, yes, it’s pretty obvious that Mitchell is not who he says he is. However, whenever anyone points out how strangely he’s acting, Laura makes excuses for him. She’s so happy to have her son back that she’s willing to overlook all of the inconsistencies in his story. Or, at the very least, she is until she finds out that Mitchell has been threatening Jonathan. But, by that point, Greg is convinced that Mitchell is his son and now, suddenly, he’s the one who is making excuses for him…

I liked Lost Boy, even if it did ultimately get somewhat predictable. Moodily shot and featuring an excellent lead performance from Virginia Madsen, Lost Boy made me wonder what I would do if I ever found myself in a similar situation. Hopefully, I won’t ever have to find out.

Adventures in Cleaning Out The DVR: River Raft Nightmare (dir by Fred Olen Ray)

Posted on November 15, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hi there! As I write this, I am couch-bound with what I’m pretty sure is a sprained toe. With that in mind, I’ve decided to continue my efforts to clean out the DVR. I just finished watching River Raft Nightmare, which premiered on Lifetime on September 5th. That was Labor Day weekend and, like a lot of people, I was too busy hanging out with my family to watch a movie about a mother and daughter navigating rapids while being menaced by three criminals.

River Raft Nightmare, which was directed by the amazingly prolific (and, by B-movie fans, beloved) Fred Olen Ray, tells the story of Sharon (Brigid Brannagh) and her teenage daughter, Cassie (Leah Bateman). They are looking forward to spending a nice relaxing weekend trying not to drown while river rafting. The only things they have to worry about are the possibilities of Cassie going into diabetic shock, a sudden wilderness fire breaking out, and maybe running into three criminals who are searching for some stolen money that has been hidden somewhere in the wilderness.

True, it’s easy to imagine that one of those things could happen. After all, all vacations have their obstacles. And maybe you could even see two of those things happening because, sometimes, it’s just a mistake to leave the house. But who would have guessed that all three of those things would end up happening!? That’s right — Sharon and Cassie have to deal with fire, diabetic shock, and criminals!

The head criminal is named Frank. He’s played by Ivan Sergei. From the minute he showed up, I thought he looked familiar and then, about an hour into the movie, I realized that he previously played the psycho boyfriend in another Lifetime mainstay, Mother, May I Sleep With Danger? Incidentally, that movie also featured Ivan Sergei nearly drowning in a river. Maybe Ivan should stay away from the water from now on…

Frank continually assures Sharon and Cassie that he’s not going to kill them and that he just wants to find his money. However, Cassie has already seen Frank kill a man. That’s one reason why River Raft Nightmare was originally called Eyewitness, Personally, I think River Raft Nightmare is a better title. Eyewitness is a bit generic but River Raft Nightmare — hey, it’s got the word nightmare in it! You can’t go wrong with that.

River Raft Nightmare is a thoroughly predictable film. You will not be taken by surprise. But, with that in mind, it’s enjoyable enough. One thing that I appreciate about Fred Olen Ray is that he is a director who is almost totally lacking in pretension. A Fred Olen Ray film doesn’t pretend to be anything that it isn’t. River Raft Nightmare is a low-budget B-movie and it’s totally content with being a low-budget B-movie and you really have to admire that. Add to that, I always love movies about moms and daughters bonding while kicking ass and Ivan Sergei was hot even when he was killing people.

(By the way, Fred, if you’re reading this, I’ve got an idea for a film called Red River Nightmare….)

One funny thing about the DVR is that it really does work as a time machine. When you watch something that you recorded two months ago, it’s like stepping back in the past and sometimes, you’re shocked to discover what you had forgotten about. In the case of River Raft Nightmare, I was shocked to be reminded that — for a few weeks — Lifetime experimented with having Erin Foley pop up during the commercial breaks and attempt to be snarky. A typical Erin Foley comment would be something like: “So, they’re being hunted by killers but their makeup and hair are still perfect.” (To which those of us at home would say, “No shit, haven’t you ever watched one of these movies before? We all got over that a long time ago…”) Having been reminded of its existence, all I can say is that I’m glad Lifetime ended that experiment. No offense to Erin Foley but nothing she said ever came close to topping what the live tweeters were saying on twitter.

Seriously, Lifetime, those of us watching provide more than enough snark without it being necessary for you to bring in a “ringer.”

Sorry, Erin Foley, you were not necessary…

What Lisa Watched Last Night #145: The Preacher’s Sin (dir by Michelle Mower)

Posted on November 15, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the latest Lifetime film, The Preacher’s Sin!

Why Was I Watching It?

What else was I going to watch? The Democratic debate? Not likely…

Seriously, though, everyone knows how much I love Lifetime! Plus, the title of the film promised a sinning preacher and Lifetime has a pretty good track record when it comes to sinning preachers.

What Was It About?

Evan Tanning (JR Bourne) is a successful and popular preacher. He has his own radio show, where he gives advice on how to raise a family. Much like Will Ferrell in A Deadly Adoption, he is popular on the book tour circuit. As the movie opens, he has just signed a contract with Bill Traggert (Bill Lake) and his show is about be nationally syndicated. Sure, Bill might be a little bit sleazy but it looks like everything’s perfect in Evan’s life…

Except, of course, it isn’t. Evan has just discovered that he has an illegitimate son (Demi Oliver) and, once Bill finds out, Evan finds himself being blackmailed. Add to that, Evan is the legal guardian of his niece Jamie (Allie Gonino), a rebellious teenager who has recently been arrested for driving drunk. When Jamie gets arrested a second time, Evan struggles to try to figure out how to deal with her.

What Evan doesn’t realize is that Jamie was set up by Bill’s evil daughter, Tinsley (Stephanie La Rochelle). When Tinsley escalates her bullying of Jamie, Evan is forced to take a stand and confront his past.

What Worked

The film was well-acted and it definitely had an intriguing first hour. JR Bourne did a good job as the preacher and so did Allie Gonino as Jamie. (Add to that, I really liked Jamie’s hair.) There’s been a lot of bitchy mean girls on Lifetime but few of them have been played with the amount of sociopathic panache that Stephanie La Rochelle brought to the role of Tinsley.

What Did Not Work

So, here’s the thing: with a title like The Preacher’s Sin, I was expecting the film to feature the preaching sinning. I mean, okay — he did have an extramarital affair but that was before he even became a preacher. He never knew that he had a son and, once he found out, Evan went out of his way to accept and help him out..

To be honest, a better title for the film would have been Tinsley’s Sin because Tinsley was the one who kept doing the wrong thing. As a lot of people on twitter pointed out, the final 30 minutes of the film — which were pretty much dominated by Tinsley’s sins — felt like they were happening in a totally different movie.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Oh my God, I so related to Jamie! It’s not just that we were both rebellious teenagers who had to deal with jealous haters. It was also the fact that she was judged for having better hair than everyone else. I have red hair and Jamie had green hair. Judging from this movie, the only thing more difficult than being a redhead is being a greenhead.

Lessons Learned

It’s not easy being green.

Adventures in Cleaning Out The DVR: Mother of All Lies (dir by Monika Mitchell)

Posted on November 14, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

mother of all lies

I watched one final film today as a part of my effort to clean out my DVR. Mother Of All Lies premiered on the Lifetime Movie Network on September 12th and I’m not really sure why I decided just to record it, as opposed to actually watching it. Perhaps I actually had a life on the night of the 12th. Who knows?

Anyway, much as in Girl Missing, Francesca Eastwood plays a young woman who discovers the identity of her birth mother and decides that she wants to see her. In this case, Eastwood is playing Sara Caskie, an intelligent but rebellious teenager (a common character type when it comes to Lifetime movies). Though Sara has a comfortable life with her adopted parents, she wonders about her biological mother, Abby (Jennifer Copping). It turns out that Abby is in prison, convicted of a robbery gone wrong. Over the warnings of her adopted parents, Sara writes a letter to the parole board and is so persuasive that her mother is released from prison!

After being told that she shouldn’t contact her biological mother, Sara does exactly what I would have done. She find out where her mother is living, sneaks out of the house, and then drives off to find her. It turns out that Abby is living in an isolated cousin with her scuzzy boyfriend. At first, Abby is shocked when Sara shows up but Abby eventually allows Sara to stay at the cabin. And that’s a good thing because, once Abby ends up killing her boyfriend, it’s good to have Sara around to help cover the crime up.

The boyfriend’s criminal associates are trying to track him down and soon, they are hanging out around the cabin and generally making things even more trashy. Meanwhile, Sara is starting to doubt whether she really wants to get to know anything else about her mother and Sara’s adoptive parents are frantically searching for her and calling the police.

Mother Of All Lies is one of the less impressive of the many films to premiere on Lifetime and LMN this year. Other then one brilliantly executed nightmare sequence, it’s just not a very memorable film. However, the film is partially redeemed by the heartfelt performances of Francesca Eastwood and Jennifer Copping. Francesca Eastwood — and yes, she is Clint’s daughter — has actually had a pretty good Lifetime run this year. Not only did she star in this film and Girl Missing but she also had a key supporting role in Wuthering High School. Francesca Eastwood is great at playing good-hearted but troubled characters. Meanwhile, Jennifer Copping actually makes her character both poignant and frightening. Whatever other flaws that Mother Of All Lies may have, it is worth watching for their performances.