Cleaning Out The DVR: The Serial Killer Seduced Me (dir by Dylan Vox)

Posted on October 13, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Lifetime film, The Serial Killer Seduced Me, tells the story of Chloe (Tess Cline).

Chloe is currently working as a nurse at an assisted living facility but what she truly wants is to be recognized as an artist. One of her patients, Lillian (Kris Ann Russell), is always encouraging Chloe to pursue her artistic dreams. In fact, Lillian has quite a collection of art herself. She gives Chloe the key to her house so that Chloe can get some of her paintings. When Chloe goes to the house, she finds a painting of a young woman. What we know but what Chloe doesn’t know is that someone murdered the woman after she posed for the painting.

Speaking of murder, someone smothers Lillian in her sleep. Chloe is so upset over Lillian’s death that she barely pays attention when her agent, Chase (Allen Williamson), tells her that he needs some of her paintings. Chloe signs a contract that Chase pushes in front of her. Later, while Chloe is still in shock over Lillian’s death, she gets a call from Chase informing her that he’s set up a show for her at a local gallery.

Excited, Chloe goes to the gallery and discovers that not only has Chase hung several of her paintings in the gallery but that everyone also seems to like them. However, the painting that everyone loves appears to be the painting of the woman that Chloe found at Lillian’s house. Chloe is stunned, especially after a man approaches her and claims to be the husband of the woman in the painting. The man shouts that the woman was murdered and then he goes outside and promptly gets run over by a car that ignores a stop sign.

Chloe doesn’t know what to do. She doesn’t want to take credit for the painting but she signed a contract with Chase and Chase, when he finds out that Chloe didn’t actually paint the painting, proceeds to blackmail her. Chase says that he needs more paintings and that they need to be like the one that everyone liked, the one that Chloe didn’t actually paint. A trip back to Lillian’s place leads to the discovery of the paintings of several women. Chloe notices that the paintings are numbered and she deduces that all the women in the paintings have been murdered.

Chase doesn’t care. He’s got paintings to sell and he want Chloe to sit down for an interview with a journalist named Ariadne (Kristi Murdock). Chloe, however, is now more concerned with Luke (Ali Zahiri), who is Lillian’s son and who is quite a fan of her art. Chloe knows that there’s a good chance that Luke might be the murderer but she’s also feeling attracted to him.

Uh-oh!

I enjoyed the Lifetime film, largely because it thoroughly embraced the melodrama in the way that the best Lifetime films often do. I enjoyed the film’s satiric look at the art world and, even more importantly, Chloe’s outfits were all to die for. From the minute she showed up with her thigh high boots and her portfolio of pretentious paintings, I knew Chloe was going to be a character to whom I could relate. The solution to the film’s mystery didn’t really make much sense but …. eh. I wasn’t expecting it to make any sense so it didn’t really matter.

This film was originally entitled Picture Her Dead, which personally I think was a better and more appropriate title than The Serial Killer Seduced Me.

Cleaning Out The DVR: Abducted By My Teacher: The Elizabeth Thomas Story (dir by Shawn Linden)

Posted on September 4, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Based on a true story, Lifetime’s Abducted By My Teacher opens with a situation that I related to all too well.

15 year-old Elizabeth Thomas (Summer H. Howell) is the newest student at the local high school. She’s starting school in the middle of the year and she doesn’t know anyone at the school. Everyone is wondering why she’s enrolling so late in the semester. No one wants to run the risk of being the new girl’s friend. Elizabeth can’t even find a table where she can eat her lunch. Now, when I was growing up, my family moved frequently. I started and left a lot of different schools and that meant that I got used to being the new girl. I got used to people asking me questions about my past. I got used to having to fit into a social system that had been established long before I arrived. I learned how to make friends without becoming so close to them that it would hurt when I inevitably had to leave and go to a new school. It never became easily but I do think I managed to handle it about as well as anyone could. (Fortunately, I also had three older sisters to help me out.)

Elizabeth, however, has a problem that I never had to deal with. She’s not only the new girl but the high school is also the first one that she’s ever attended. Previously, Elizabeth was home-schooled by her unstable mother. Now, her father has custody of her and Elizabeth is experiencing public school for the first time. All of the teachers and her classmates know about Elizabeth’s past, leaving Elizabeth feeling like a freak.

However, things start to look up when one of her teachers, Tad Cummins (Michael Fishman), invites her to join the group of students who eat lunch in his classroom. Tad is one of those self-consciously cool teachers who insists that his students refer to him by his first name. He takes an immediate interest in Elizabeth and he even invites her to attend church with him and his wife. At first, Elizabeth isn’t sure how to react to Tad but, eventually, she comes to trust him. After all, he’s the only person at school who seems to care about her and he even helps her to get a job at a restaurant. (Elizabeth’s boss so respects Tad that she’s willing to hire Elizabeth on his recommendation alone.) Eventually, Elizabeth’s father (Gino Anania) grows suspicious of Tad’s interest in his daughter but, by that point, Tad has Elizabeth so in his thrall that he’s able to convince her to run off with him.

It’s a disturbingly familiar tale of grooming and abduction, one that features a sympathetic lead performance from Summer Howell and a memorably creepy one from Michael Fishman. From the minute that we first see Tad, we went to tell Elizabeth to stay away from him but, as this film show, things often look different when they’re actually happening to you than they do when you’re on the outside looking in. Tad is eventually reveled to be a messianic lunatic but, at the beginning, he’s simply the only person willing to give encouragement to someone who desperately needs it. Having no experience with public education and the outside world at all, Elizabeth is easily manipulated but eventually, she reveals an inner strength that even she didn’t know she had. Summer Howell does a wonderful job portraying Elizabeth’s transformation from being meek and easily manipulated to being strong and confident enough to face down her abductor in court.

This film was executive produced by Elizabeth Smart and Smart introduces the film. Elizabeth Smart is someone who has survived a trauma that most of us couldn’t even imagine but she’s since spent her life helping others who have been in similar situations. She deserves all the credit in the world.

Cleaning Out The DVR: To Kill A Stepfather (dir by Peter Sullivan)

Posted on September 3, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As with so many Lifetime films, To Kill A Stepfather opens with a murder.

Matthew (Dan Golden) is a pillar of his small town’s community. He’s well-liked by all and he’s renowned for the way his voice sounds whenever he sings with the choir. His wife, Kate (Elyse Mirto), is a bit less popular with the community but everyone agrees that Matthew has been good as stepfather to her daughter, Riley (Kelly McCart).

Of course, Riley is not Kate’s only daughter. Nicole (Alex Camacho) is a high-priced defense attorney who left home a long time ago and who has never really made peace with her memories of her mother being an alcoholic. Nicole barely knows Matthew. She’s been too busy pursuing her career to keep up with what’s happening at her former home. Nicole is one of those lawyers who gets yelled at by strangers because so many of her clients are guilty. Now, of course, Nicole’s job is to defend her clients. Guilty or not, anyone accused of a crime is entitled to representation and the job of a defense attorney is to serve as their client’s advocate and help them make their way through the complexities of the American legal system. In other words, Nicole is doing her job. Get off her back, people!

One night, Matthew and Kate’s neighbors hear an argument coming from their house. Inside the house, someone shoves Matthew down a flight of stairs and kills him. When the police arrest Kate for the crime, Riley calls the only attorney that she knows, her older sister Nicole. Nicole returns to her hometown and discovers that, even in jail and desperately needing an attorney, her mother still isn’t happy to see her. Indeed, Kate even says that she would prefer a different lawyer but Nicole takes one look at the ambulance chaser who has been assigned to the case and declares that she’s taking over her mother’s defense.

Apparently, this film was inspired by a true story but it plays out like a typical Lifetime courtroom drama. That’s not a complaint, of course. The familiarity is one of the things that people love about Lifetime movies. From the minute that Nicole meets Kate in prison, the viewer will suspect that they know where the story is heading but that’s okay. The destination is less important than the journey and the journey is enjoyably melodramatic. Alex Camacho and Kelly McCart are instantly believable as sisters and Elyse Mirto gives a good performance as the mother who wants to hold onto her secrets, even if they mean possibly going to prison. In the end, the important thing is that the film embraces the melodrama. That’s really the main thing that we ask from our Lifetime films.

That said, I was kind of amused by how “slick” all of the attorneys in the film were. I’ve worked as an administrative assistant in a law office. I’ve known a few lawyers. I’ve been to the courthouses. Attorneys are usually the most shabbily-dressed people in the courthouse and, usually, they’re juggling way too much to have time to stand around and exchange snarky bon mots. But again, one doesn’t watch a legal drama on Lifetime because they’re looking for a realistic portrait of the American legal system. On Lifetime, all lawyers are perfectly dressed and have not a hair out of place and that’s more than alright.

2022 In Review: The Best of Lifetime

Posted on February 9, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

First off, my apologies for being so late in finishing up my look at the best of 2022! I’ve still got three categories to go, so let’s get to it by taking a look at the best of Lifetime!

As chaotic as 2022 may have been, one thing remained unchanged! Lifetime provided me with both a lot of entertainment and a lot to think about! Not only did it embrace the melodrama with films like Deadly Yoga Retreat but it also sensitively dramatized the real-life tragedies of The Gabby Petito Story and Dirty Little Secret. Below, you’ll find my picks for the best Lifetime films and performances of the past year!

(For my previous best of Lifetime picks, click on the links: 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, and 2021!)

Best Picture: The Gabby Petito Story

Best Director: Thora Birch for The Gabby Petito Story

Best Actress: Melissa Joan Hart in Dirty Little Secret

Best Actor: Jonathan Bennett in Deadly Yoga Retreat

Best Supporting Actress: Maja Vujicic in Mommy’s Little Star

Best Supporting Actor: Roderick McNeil in Mommy’s Little Star

Best Screenplay: Dirty Little Secret

Lisa Marie’s 2022 In Review:

What Lisa Marie and Megan Watched Last Night #225: Mommy’s Little Star (dir by Curtis Crawford)

Posted on December 30, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, my sister Megan and I watched Mommy’s Little Star on the Lifetime Movie Network!

Why Were We Watching It?

For the past week and a half, I’ve been visiting my sister Megan and her family. This is kind of our holiday tradition. Everyone gets together for Christmas and then, from Christmas Day to New Year, Megan and I catch up and bond and talk about how we’re feeling about the past year and what we’re hoping to get out of the upcoming year. Plus, we watch a lot of TV and movies!

I’ve always loved watching movies with my family and I especially love Lifetime movies. (Unfortunately, I haven’t gotten to watch as much Lifetime as usual this year.) So, when I saw that the Lifetime Movie Network was broadcasting something called Mommy’s Little Star, I literally fell on my knees and begged Megan to stay up and watch it with me.

What Was It About?

12 year-old Olivia (Maja Vujicic) thinks that she’s found a way bring her parents back together. She’ll become a social media star by posting dancing videos online. If she can get her mother, Lauren (Rebecca Amzallag), to appear in the videos with her, she’ll become an even bigger star and maybe even win a contest because people love to watch young influencers dance with their moms.

Lauren’s new boyfriend, Aiden (Roderick McNeil), offers to act as Olivia’s agent and to guide her to social media stardom. Olivia is excited but soon, she becomes so addicted to being popular online that she starts neglect her friends, her schoolwork, and her well-meaning but strict nanny. Meanwhile, Aiden is actually a con artist who is willing to go to any lengths, including murder!, to get what he wants.

What Worked?

I always enjoy a good Lifetime moral panic film. This film had the typical Lifetime plot of the handsome but sinister man who was trying to take a daughter away from her loving parents but, to that, it also added a fear that I imagine many parents have, the fear of what their children might be doing online. One thing that both Olivia’s mom and her father (played by David Lafontaine) had in common is that neither one of them was really sure what it was that Olivia was getting so excited about and watching them, I was reminded of my aunt’s reaction when I first tried to explain to her what Twitter was. The film suggested that all of the trouble that Olivia and her family go through is worth it because it encourages Olivia to eventually take a break from social media. It’s all rather silly and campy but that’s what makes Lifetime movies so much fun.

I really enjoyed Roderick McNeil’s performance as Aiden. He had the whole charming sociopath act down to perfection.

What Did Not Work?

The film missed an opportunity by not having Olivia herself turn evil in her attempts to win the big contest. Maybe Lifetime had already met their quota for murderous children by the time they got around to Mommy’s Little Star.

“OMG! Just like me!” Moments

Right after my parents divorced, I had a fantasy that lasted for about two years where they would both come to see me performing with the New York City Ballet and they would be so moved by my dancing that they would get back together. That never happened, of course, but still, I could relate to what Olivia was trying to do even if I didn’t quite agree with her methods.

Both Megan and I agreed that Rebecca Amzallag, who did a great job playing Olivia’s mother, looked just like our friend Lea so that was kind of neat. We spent a lot of the film asking ourselves, “Is that what Lea would do?”

Lessons Learned

Social media is evil!

Cleaning out the DVR: Dirty Little Secret (dir by Linda-Lisa Hayter)

Posted on December 2, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

On the outside, Joanna (Melissa John Hart) and her 17 year-old daughter, Lucy (Lizzie Boys), seem like they have a good life.

Joanna is a nurse who is beloved by both her patients and her co-workers. She works hard and she often worries about money but she is also responsible for saving lives. One of her former patients, Drew (Edward Foy), has even fallen in love with her and is pursuing a relationship with her. Drew is nice, considerate, and a financially stable. He seems like he would be anyone’s dream but Joanna is hesitant about getting close to him or anyone else.

Lucy is a smart student and a talented artist and her guidance counselor thinks that she should apply to F.I.T. in New York City. When Lucy says that she’s not sure that she could afford it, she is assured that she could probably get a scholarship or a grant. Lucy has a close friend named Kaylie (Pavia Sidhu) and a potential boyfriend named Josh (Wern Lee) and she should be looking forward to a great future. Instead, she’s spending all of her time making up excuses to keep people from coming by her house.

Joanna and Lucy share a secret. Joanna is a compulsive hoarder. Her house is so cluttered that she can’t find a thing. While Joanna watches home improvement shows and talks about all of her plans for the future, Lucy struggles to find room to sleep. Lucy is forced to take showers at school because Joanna couldn’t find the water bill. When Lucy tries to secretly throw away some bubble wrap, Joanna catches her and yells, “What about if I want to send gifts!?” The clutter is so terrible that Joanna is constantly struggling with her asthma.

It easy to cast Joanna as the villain here but, as the film makes clear, both she and Lucy have been abandoned by the rest of their family. Joanna’s husband walked out years ago. Lucy’s older sister, Sara (Samantha Hodhod), refuses to come by the house or even talk to Joanna but, at the same time, she expects Lucy to put all of her plans on hold so that she can take care of their mother. Everyone has given up on Joanna but Lucy is convinced that she can somehow fix things. It ultimately leads to tragedy and leaves the audience wondering if anyone in the family ever really had a chance.

This is one dark Lifetime movie.

I have to admit that, though I’m compulsively clean and organized, I always have a bit of sympathy for hoarders. When you grow up in an unstable household, it’s easy to put a lot of importance in the things that you own because those are the thing that aren’t going to abandon you. Even the simplest or most mundane items can come to represent either a good memory or hope for a better future. I’ve seen a few episodes of Hoarders and I always despise the family members who yell at the hoarder for not throwing stuff out. What the people yelling don’t understand is that those possessions are often the only source of comfort and stability that a hoarder has. Throwing stuff away means throwing away memories and hope. (The other reason why I don’t like it when people yell on Hoarders is because they’re usually only yelling to show off for the cameras. People will ignore a problem for years and then try to play the hero as soon as a television crew shows up.) Myself, I have a sentimental attachment to just about everything I own. Fortunately, I also have a storage unit.

Melissa Joan Hart does a good job playing Joanna, who alternates between pretending that everything is normal and flying into a rage whenever she can’t find something in the house. Lizzie Boys is also effective as Lucy, who has been unfairly burdened with not only protecting the family’s secrets but also with taking care of her mother. At the end of the movie, it’s obvious that both characters deserved to be treated better than they were. Both characters sacrifice their chances for happiness in order to keep the family secrets. It makes for an effective and sad Lifetime film, one that will hopefully inspire a little compassion for not only the hoarders but also the people who try to take care of them.

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night #224: Ice Road Killer (dir by Max McGuire)

Posted on December 2, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched Ice Road Killer on the Lifetime Movie Network!

Why Was I Watching It?

It had been a while since I had last watched a Lifetime movie and, with this year soon to come to a close, I figured that last night would be a good time to start catching up.

What Was It About?

While on her way to pick up her daughter from college, Helen (Sarah Allen) nearly runs over a young woman named Carly (Zoe Belkin). Carly claims that she’s stranded. Because the roads are icy and a heavy snow is falling, Helen agrees to give Carly a ride to wherever Carly is going. Needless to say, Helen’s daughter, Lauren (Erica Anderson), is not amused.

Of course, what Helen doesn’t realize is that Carly and her boyfriend, Boyd (Connor McMahon), are planning on robbing her. But what Carly and Boyd don’t realize is that they are being followed by a psycho trucker (Michael Swatton), who is looking for revenge.

What Worked?

For a Lifetime film, Ice Road Killer had some effectively scary moments and some creepy locations. (The motel where Helen, Lauren, and Carly initially attempted to spend the night was memorably run-down and it brought back some memories of my own childhood road trips.) The ice, the snow, and the howling wind all added up to create an otherworldly atmosphere and Christopher Guglick’s original score was appropriately ominous.

Michael Swatton was wonderfully creepy as the psycho trucker.

What Did Not Work?

A huge issue that I had was that Carly and Boyd’s robbery scheme never made sense to me. Instead of just robbing Helen when she first stopped to pick up Carly, Boyd instead followed behind Helen and Carly while they drove down the icy road. If you’re going to rob a random driver, it seems like it would make more sense to just do it and make a run for it instead of dragging it all out.

Another issue that I had was with the idea that anyone, in the year 2022, would actually pick up a hitchhiker, especially someone like Helen who had reason to not trust people in general. I get that the weather was bad but still, it seems like a stretch that Helen would give Carly a ride, arrange for Carly to spend the night in a motel with Helen and her daughter, and then leave Carly — a total stranger — alone with the $500 that Helen could not afford to lose.

You always have to be willing to suspend your disbelief when it comes to Lifetime films, that’s usually a part of the fun. This film just asked you to suspend it even more than usual.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

I am a fairly compassionate person and I do believe in helping those in need but there’s no way in Hell that I would ever pick up a hitchhiker, regardless of how bad the weather conditions are. If I see a person stranded on the side of the road, I might feel bad for them but I’m still not going to let them get in my car. I might encourage someone driving behind me to pick them up but I’ve seen too many horror films to make that mistake myself. So, I couldn’t relate to that part of the film.

However, I also don’t drive well in cold weather. When Helen ran her car off the icy road and nearly ran over Carly, I could totally relate to that.

Lessons Learned

Don’t pick up hitchhikers and by nice to truck drivers!

Lifetime Film Review: The Gabby Petito Story (dir by Thora Birch)

Posted on October 2, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, when I watched The Gabby Petito Story on Lifetime, my inital reaction was to think that it was a bit gauche just how quickly Lifetime had turned the story of Petito’s murder into a movie.

“Wow, I thought, this only happened a few months ago and they’ve already turned it into a movie?”

However, I then took a look at Gabby’s Wikipedia page and I discovered that it has actually been over a year since Gabby Petito disappeared while driving across the country with her fiancée Brian Laundrie. It has been over a year since her family frantically asked that anyone with information come forward. It has been over a year since the release of the footage of the police talking to a distraught Gabby Petito while Brian laughed about the situation on the other side of their van. It has been over a year since Brian himself vanished. It has been over a year since Gabby’s remains were found and the coroner confirmed that she had indeed been choked to death. And it’s been over a year since Laundrie’s skeletal remains were found, along with a note in which he confessed to killing Gabby.

It’s been over a year but it seems like it was just yesterday. That’s how invested many of us became in the search for Gabby Petito and that’s how fresh our anger over what happened remains. Why did Gabby Petito’s disappearance capture the public imagination in a way that so many other disappearances haven’t? Some claim that it’s because Gabby was young, pretty, and white and that might be the case with some people. But, for many of us, the reason why Gabby’s disappearance captured our imagination is because every woman has known at least one man like Brian Laundrie, the self-declared nice guy who is actually controlling, manipulative, and mentally (and often physically) abusive. We watched the footage of Gabby telling the police that Brian’s anger was all her fault because “I just get so OCD” and we realized that the same thing could have just as easily happened to us. Brian hit Gabby because she asked him to not track dirt and mud into the van in which they were going to spend the next few months living. And, when the police showed up to ask what was going on, she blamed herself. No one was there to save Gabby and we all felt that if we had found ourselves in the same situation that there would not have been anyone there to save us either.

The Gabby Petito Story stars Skyler Samuels as Gabby and Evan Hall as Brian Laundrie. It follows them from the moment that their relationship began and we watch as Brian goes from being endearingly awkward to being an out-of-control monster, one who hides behind his anxiety disorder and his nerdy persona. It’s not always easy to watch, as the film does a good job of showing how an abusive relationship develops and also how it will inevitably end. It’s difficult to be comfortable with any show that uses a true life tragedy to generate ratings (and knowing that Lifetime was probably started planning the film even while Gabby was still missing doesn’t help) but The Gabby Petito Story is well-acted by Samuels and Hall and it’s well-directed by Thora Birch, who also plays Gabby’s mother. If nothing else, it shows why so many of us became obsessed with Gabby’s disappearance and why her tragic fate continues to haunt us a year later.

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night #220: Deadly Yoga Retreat (dir by Brian Herzlinger)

Posted on June 6, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the Lifetime film, Deadly Yoga Retreat!

Why Was I Watching It?

I watched this film for a number of reasons. First off, yoga has been on my mind lately because, over the past two weeks, I have managed to strain my back not once but twice! My mom also had trouble with her back and she was a big believer in yoga as something more than just an excuse to wear a cute outfit. Myself, I have to admit that the outfit has always been the main appeal to me.

Secondly, the film was on Lifetime and it’s been a while since I’ve gotten to sit down and watch a good Lifetime film.

Third, I wanted an excuse to do one of my What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night reviews. I have fun writing them.

What Was It About?

Remy Morrow (Jonathan Bennett) runs the most exclusive and demanding yoga retreat out there. He expects you to show up on time. He expects you to take yoga seriously. He expects you to take him seriously. If you don’t take him seriously, he’ll kick you out of the group. And, if that’s not enough to get rid of you, he’ll just kill you. Killing people over yoga? That may sound extreme but Remy’s an extreme guy.

Isabella (Danielle C. Ryan) may just be planning on using the yoga retreat as a way to get away from her struggling marriage but she’s about to discover that Remy has his own plans for her and the other students.

What Worked?

Like many recent Lifetime film, Deadly Yoga Retreat takes a deliberately campy approach to its story. It’s not meant to be taken seriously and Jonathan Bennett brings exactly the right sensibility to his performance as Remy, playing him as being the unhinged yoga instructor from Hell. There’s not a single subtle moment to be found in Bennett’s performance but this isn’t a film that calls for subtlety. This is a film that calls for someone willing to totally embrace the melodrama and go over the the top and, as anyone who saw him on Celebrity Big Brother can tell you, Bennett is certainly willing to do that. Bennett’s approach was nicely balanced by Danielle C. Ryan, who was likable as Isabella.

When you sit down to watch a film called Deadly Yoga Retreat, you know what you’re getting into. If there’s anything that I don’t have much use for, it’s people who act all offended or shocked that a movie like this would turn out to be deliberately campy and kitschy. This is a Lifetime film and it’s about a psychotic yoga instructor. You knew what you were getting into when you saw the title. The title promises attractive people in cute outfits doing dangerous and sexy things in a lovely, beach-filled location. Here’s the important thing: Deadly Yoga Retreat delivers exactly what it promised.

What Did Not Work?

As far as I’m concerned it all worked.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

My best friend Evelyn and I occasionally went to a yoga class when we were in college. The instructor was intense, though not murderous. He always used to say stuff like, “Yoga is for lovers” and “This weekend should be all about you, yoga and a lover.” Actually, he was pretty creepy. Anyway, he always used to get annoyed because we would giggle through his class but I don’t think he ever killed anyone.

Lessons Learned

Don’t say “Namaste” unless you mean it.

Lifetime Film Review: The Wrong Blind Date (dir by David DeCoteau)

Posted on February 26, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“Looks like he was the wrong blind date!”

You tell them, Vivica A. Fox!

The Wrong Blind Date is the latest of the Lifetime “Wrong” films. Like all of the “Wrong” films, it was directed by David DeCoteau and it features Vivica A. Fox delivering the film’s title. It may seem somewhat silly to those who don’t regularly watch these films but, if you’re a fan of the “Wrong” series, you will literally sit through just about anything just for the chance to hear Vivica A. Fox say the movie’s name. The film’s realize this too. Lifetime films, at their best, are very self-aware. None are as self-aware as the “Wrong” films.

In this one, Fox has a supporting role. She plays Beth, who works as a therapist. One of her patients is Laura (Meredith Thomas). Laura has got a lot to deal with. Her daughter, Hannah (Sofia Masson), has just started going to college and is dating Noah (Rainer Dawn). Laura and her friend, Angela (Lesli Kay), are trying to launch their own design firm. Laura is also in the process of getting a divorce from her husband, an abusive ex-cop named Michael (Clark Moore). Michael is controlling and temperamental and he’s also determined to convince Laura not to go through with the divorce.

When Laura puts her profile on a dating website, she’s shocked by the number of replies that she gets. One of those replies is from Kevin (Matthew Pohlkamp). Kevin is handsome and charming and he lives in Beverly Hills. He lists his job as investment banking. Kevin has money and he’s so interested in Laura that he even finds a way to contact her after she deletes her dating profile! At first, Laura thinks that Kevin’s behavior is a little stalkerish but then she agrees to go on one date with him. And that one date leads to another and then another and then….

But wait a minute! This is a Lifetime film! Even more importantly, this is a “Wrong” film. Those of us who have spent years viewing these movies know better than to trust any perfect man who claims to be wealthy. Laura may not realize that there’s obviously something sinister about Kevin but we do! Unfortunately, Laura is so used to her husband acting like a jerk that she’s overly impressed when Kevin does things like refuse to pick a fight with an obnoxious drunk. It’s only after Laura leaves that Kevin returns to the bar and beats the man up.

Yes, Kevin has some problems. He’s the wrong blind date. And it soon becomes apparent that he’s lying about who he is, where he lives, and what he even does for a living. It’s not a spoiler to tell you that Michael has hired Kevin to fool his wife, all as a part of a rather silly plan to convince Laura to take him back. But when Kevin starts to become obsessed with Laura, not even Michael can stand in his way.

These films are predictable but fun. We all know better than to trust Kevin but that doesn’t make it any less enjoyable to watch as Hannah vainly tries to convince her mother that she needs to do a little more research into her new boyfriend’s background. And, of course, there’s the murders. There’s always a murder or two in a Lifetime film. Mereidth Thomas and Sofia Masson are convincing as mother and daughter and Matthew Pohlkamp is credible whether being charming or unhinged. And, of course, Vivica A. Fox says the name of the movie. It’s Lifetime, what’s not to enjoy?