Retro Television Review: America 2100 1.1 “Pilot”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  This Thursdays, I will be reviewing America 2100, which aired its only episode on ABC in 1979.  The show can be found on YouTube!

Episode 1.1 “Pilot” 

(Directed by Joel Zwick, originally aired on July 24th, 1979)

In 1979, it appears that the comedy team of Chester Barnes (Jon Cutler) and Phil Kreese (Mark King) are on the verge of breaking up.  Tired of not finding success and struggling to pay the bills, Chester is thinking of moving home and working for his uncle’s refrigeration company.  Phil begs Chester to reconsider.  Chester finally agrees to sleep on it.  To help him sleep, Phil suggests warm milk and sleeping pills.  Chester and Phil go to bed in their small apartment….

….and wake up in 2100!

As the cheery Dr. Karen Harland (Karen Valentine) explains, Chester and Phil died in 1979 but, through the use of science, they’ve been brought back to life!   What is 2100 like?

It’s a lot like the 70s, just a little bit tackier.

The Future!

At first, Chester and Phil claim that there were the leaders of America in 1979.  When Karen says that the mysterious Max takes a dim view of lying, Chester and Phil admit that they were two unemployed losers.  When they ask who Max is, Karen explains that Max is in charge and that everyone has to do what Max is.

Max is a robot, though it’s not a good idea to call him that.  He prefers to be called a — wait for it — “computer.”  Max speaks with the voice of Sid Caesar.  Every child is brought before Max and told what they’re going to do with the rest of your life.  “You’ll be a microbiologist,” Max says to one child.  “You’ll be a female impersonator,” he says to another.  Eventually, Chester and Phil are brought before Max.

“You two will be museum exhibits,” Max says.

Chester and Phil are not happy about that.  They want to be in show business!  Back at their apartment, they explain to Karen that she’s living a life where there is no freedom and, without free will, life is meaningless.  Karen admits that she secretly wants to be a tap dancer.  She then shows off a few of her tap dancing moves and the audiences goes wild and the end credits roll.

Wow, I wonder what type of wacky adventures Chest and Phil had in the future!?

Well, they didn’t have any adventures.  This pilot aired once and it didn’t lead to a series.  Watching the pilot, I could see why the show didn’t work.  The two leads were miscast and they both played their roles very broadly.  When you’ve already got Sid Caesar providing the voice of a rolling computer, you really don’t need anyone else in the cast to go overboard.  It also didn’t help that Chester and Phil seemed to be pretty much interchangeable as characters.  The only thing that really distinguished one from the other was that Chester was the one with dark hair.

That said, I am a big believer in personal freedom and I appreciated that this show attempted to make the case for allowing people to be creative and to even screw up occasionally.  An America where everyone compliantly takes orders from a computer may have seemed unbelievable in 1979 but it’s a bit more plausible in 2026.  Max is basically a less cranky version of Bernie Sanders so it was fun to see someone tell him off, even if it was just Chester and Phil.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Monsters 3.9 “The Young and the Headless”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, Monsters loses its head of another series.

Episode 3.9 “The Young and the Headless”

(Dir by Tom Abrams, originally aired on November 25th, 1990)

As you can tell from the title, this episode of Monsters is meant to be a parody of soap operas.  Two scientists, Victoria (Karen Valentine) and Edward (George Reinhardt), have been have been married ever since Victoria’s lunkhead ex-boyfriend, Hunk (John Schiappa), disappeared while on a soldier of fortune mission.  However, when Hunk suddenly returns, Victoria and George are left with a dilemma, especially after Edward tricks Hunk into killing himself and then removes his head.

Victoria and George decide to reanimate the headless Hunk, bringing him back to life with microchips.  (Sure, why not?)  They treat the headless Hunk as a servant but it turns out that Hunk doesn’t need a brain to get his revenge.

The plot was nonsense but the episode did have good performances and a memorable monster in headless Hunk.  I think the main problem is that the episode tried very hard to parody the soap opera genre but, since most soap operas are already self-parodies that cheerfully embrace the melodrama and make no attempt to pretend to be realistic, a lot of the humor fell flat.  It’s hard to make fun of a genre that is, for the most part, defined by its self-awareness.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 1.15 & 1.16 “The Eyes of Love / Masquerade / Hollywood Royalty / The Caper: Parts 1 & 2”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week’s episode of The Love Boat is one of historical value so let’s climb aboard and get to it!

Episodes 1.15 & 1.16 “The Eyes of Love / Masquerade / Hollywood Royalty / The Caper: Parts 1 & 2”

(Dir by Allen Baron, originally aired on January 21st, 1978)

This is an important episode for two reasons.

First off, this episode marked the first time that the opening credits featured video of the guest stars along with their names.  This was the only time that this was done during the first season, though it would become a regular feature of the show from the second season forward.

Secondly, excluding the three pilot films that aired before the series was ordered, this was the first super-sized two hour episode of The Love Boat.  This episode is split into two parts when it airs in syndication, which is why it’s listed as being the 15th and the 16th episode of The Love Boat

Oddly enough, despite all of that, it’s pretty much a standard episode.  Usually, whenever a TV shows airs an extra-long episode, it’s because some important event is occurring.  Usually, either someone’s getting married or someone’s leaving the show or maybe an actor died and the show needs an extra hour to pay tribute to them.  In this case, though, it’s just a typical cruise of the love boat, complete with three separate stories and a lot of time spent looking at the ocean.

For instance, Roz Rogers (Michele Lee) and Bill Teague (Fernado Lamas) are a famous and glamorous Hollywood couple who book a voyage and who are followed all the way to the dock by the paparazzi.  As quickly becomes clear, Bill and Roz’s relationship is not as perfect as the world believes.  Still, Bill is convinced that their relationship can be fixed by Roz co-starring in an old-fashioned adventure film that he wrote.  Along with having written the script, Bill hopes to direct, produce, and star in it.  Roz is a bit skeptical but fear not, everything works out in the end and she finally convinces Bill that she loves him for him and not because he’s a star.

Roz boards the boat with not just Bill’s script but also a large and valuable diamond.  A group of jewelry thieves follow her onto the boat, hoping to steal the diamond for themselves.  Vernon (Howard Gould) is the arrogant leader of the group.  Taffy (Karen Valentine) distracts Gopher, Doc, and the Captain by flirting with them.  Elwood (Larry Storch) is the group’s technician.  And Ox (John Schuck) is the muscle who tends to take things literally.  When the first attempt to steal the jewel fails, Vernon disguises himself as Captain Stubing and Gavin MacLeod gets a chance to do something more than just look slightly annoyed by the crew.  To be honest, I actually enjoyed the jewelry theft subplot far more than I was expecting.  Gould, Valentine, Storch, and Schuck all seemed to be having fun playing off of each other.  Plus, the whole story ended with a nice little twist that James Cameron would later use in Titanic.

(No, the Love Boat does not sink.)

While this is going on, a blind girl named Jenny (Stephanie Zimbalist) is stunned to discover that one of her former classmates, Steve (Desi Arnaz, Jr.), is also on the boat.  Jenny and Steve fall in love but Steve has recently gotten back his sight and Jenny worries that he won’t want to spend the rest of his life with someone who can’t see.  Fortunately, it turns out that Jenny’s wrong.

Finally, Alan (Dan Rowan) is horrified to discover that not only are both his wife (Juliet Mills) and his mistress (Adrienne Barbeau) on the cruise together but that they’ve become friends.  Alan was an adulterous jerk so it was pretty difficult to really care about this story.  

Again, it was pretty much a typical episode of The Love Boat, despite the extra length and the inclusion of a masquerade ball during the episode’s 2nd hour.  That said, the thieves were funnier than they had any right to be and the Jenny/Steve storyline was sweet.  The ocean scenery was lovely.  That’s really all I ask from The Love Boat.  This episode delivered.