Real Genius (1985, directed by Martha Coolidge)

Posted on April 2, 2025 by Jedadiah Leland

Mitch Taylor (Gabriel Jarrett) is a teenage genius who is recruited by Prof. Jerry Hathaway (William Atherton) to study at Pacific Tech University. The real reason why Hathaway has recruited Mitch is because Chris Knight (Val Kilmer), another genius, has been slacking on developing the power source for an experimental laser called “crossbow.” Hathaway hopes that Mitch can get Chris to take his work seriously and to focus on the project. Instead, Chris teaches Mitch that he has to learn how to enjoy life or his great intelligence will become a burden and he’ll end up burned out and living in the tunnel underneath the university. That’s what happened to Laszlo Holyfield (Jon Gries). That’s what nearly happened to Chris. Chris is determined not to let it happen to Mitch.

Real Genius combines college hijinks with a serious examination of the pressures of being a “real genius.” Mitch knows everything about laser physics but he still misses his parents and cries after getting yelled at by Prof. Hathaway. He’s just a kid, no matter how smart he is. Chris proves himself to be a good friend, encouraging Mitch to relax and enjoy life. Just because you’re a genius doesn’t mean that you can’t have fun. As played by Val Kilmer, Chris Knight is the best friend that everyone wishes they could have, whether they’re a genius or not. Even when the film gets sophomoric, Kilmer plays his role seriously and never loses sight of Chris’s humanity or why it’s so important to Chris that Mitch not become consumed by the pressure of being smarter than almost everyone else in the room. This is one of the early Val Kilmer performances that showed just how good an actor he truly was. With Chris’s encouragement, Mitch pursues a romance with Jordan Cochran (Michelle Meyrink) and gets revenge (more than once) on the arrogant Kent (Robert Prescott).

Eventually, Chris and Mitch realize that their research is being used to construct a weapon for the CIA and this leads to the film’s famous ending. Ever since this movie came out, there’s been a debate over whether or not a laser could be used to make popcorn and, even more importantly, whether or not a gigantic amount of popcorn could actually destroy someone’s house. I don’t know the answers to those questions but I’d like to think that Real Genius got it right and I have no interest in any evidence that suggests otherwise. Sometimes, you owe it yourself to believe in the power of lasers and popcorn. The next person who takes advantage of your hard work, destroy his house with popcorn and then sing Everybody Wants To Rule The World. Learn the lessons of Real Genius.

Finally, when I was growing up, Real Genius was one of those films that seemed to be on HBO all the time. Somehow, I always turned it on right when the popcorn started popping. That popcorn-filled house, followed by Everybody Want To Rule The World, was a huge part of my childhood. Real Genius will always bring back good memories for me.

Love On The Shattered Lens: Frank and Ava (dir by Michael Oblowitz)

Posted on February 14, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

2018’s Frank & Ava tells the story of the tempestuous love affair and marriage of Frank Sinatra (Rico Simonini) and Ava Gardner (Emily Elicia Low).

The film opens with Sinatra at his lowest point. His records are no longer selling. His marriage to Nancy is in trouble. The government is now investigating him for supposed communist sympathies (say it ain’t so, Frank!) and also his connections to the Mafia. Hedda Hopper (Joanne Baron), Louella Parsons (Joanna Sanchez), and Walter Winchell (Richard Portnow) all pop up throughout the film, breathlessly reading the latest gossip into radio microphones. Frank’s voice is weakening and it looks like he’s about to lose his fanbase to Eddie Fisher and Perry Como. As for his acting career, everyone knows that he can’t act. (At one point, even Frank’s friends laugh at the idea of Siantra ever winning an Oscar.) Frank knows that he would be perfect for the role of Maggio in From Here To Eternity but the film’s director wants to cast someone like Harvey Lembeck or Eli Wallach.

As for Ava Gardner, she’s just gotten out of a relationship with Howard Hughes. More famous for her then-scandalous personal life than her film roles, Gardner drinks too much, curses too much, and is too open about her affairs for the sensibilities of much of 1950 America.

When Frank and Ava meet, it’s love at first sight. They drive around while drinking champagne straight from the bottle. They crash cars. When they’re arrested, they charm a local sheriff (Harry Dean Stanton, in his final film role). They fight. They make love. They fight more. They make love more. Frank obsesses on the possibility of Ava being unfaithful to him while continually cheating on her with everyone from Lana Turner to Marilyn Maxwell.

The first thing that you notice about Frank & Ava is that it is full of references to real Hollywood gossip. Names are dropped. Real celebrities are depicted and the portrayals are not always positive. The second thing that you notice is that, with the exception of Emily Elicia Low, no one is particularly convincing. The actress who plays Marilyn Monroe not only looks nothing like Marilyn but her attempt to imitate Marilyn’s trademark voice made me laugh out loud. Actors appear as Lana Turner, Montgomery Clift, Howard Hughes, and a host of mafiosos and none of them are the least bit convincing. Much of the film is like attending a costume party where no one could spend more than five bucks on their costume. Rico Simonini, who was so charming in My Dinner With Eric, is not particularly convincing as Frank Sinatra. That said, Emily Elicia Low is well-cast as Ava Gardner and Eric Roberts shows up for two scenes as producer Harry Cohn. In real life, Cohn was a notorious bully. The old anecdote about everyone showing up at an unpopular man’s funeral to make sure that he’s actually dead is often said to have been inspired by Cohn. In the film, Roberts plays Cohn as being a surprisingly reasonable guy. If Fred Zinnemann wants Sinatra, he can have Sinatra. If he wants Eli Wallach, he can have Eli Wallach. Just make sure they aren’t communists!

Probably the most interesting thing about this film is its attempt to recreate the 50s without spending a good deal of money. This is a low-budget movie and there’s an obvious artificiality to many of the sets and costumes that gives the entire film an oddly dream-like feel. It’s less a recreation of the past and more a look at how the past might look in our fantasies. All the men wear suits. Ava dresses and talk as if she just stepped out of a parody of a film noir. Famous scenes from Goodfellas and La Dolce Vita are awkwardly recreated by Santini and the cast. The film, which was made by people who obviously loved the legend of Frank and Ava, ultimately transcends the conventional definition of good and bad and instead becomes a work of outsider art, a look into the hazier regions of the American cultural psyche.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

Cleaning Out The DVR: Deadly Exchange (dir by Tom Shell)

Posted on January 6, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Hi there! So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR. Seriously, I currently have 181 things recorded! I’ve decided that, on February 1st, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not. So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR! Will I make it? Keep checking this site to find out! I recorded Deadly Exchange off of the Lifetime Movie Network on December 6th, 2017!)

Thinking about opening up your home to a foreign exchange student?

Personally, I think that’s a great idea. During my junior year of high school, I took an English class with a South African exchange student named Sean. He was a swimmer with a charming accent and a killer smile and needless to say, nearly everyone in the school was in love with him. He once approached my at a party, looked down at the diamond heart pendant that fell right above my cleavage, and said, “I like those,” before winking and moving on. With his accent, he could get away with it. He left after a semester, leaving many a broken heart behind.

So, I say open up your home to those foreign exchange students. However, Deadly Exchange says, “Not so fast!”

Deadly Exchange is an example of a “Be Careful Who You Let Into Your House” Lifetime film. Samantha (Lindsay Hartley) thinks it’ll be good idea to serve as host to a foreign exchange student. Both her husband and her oldest daughter have died and her other daughter, Blake (Victoria Konefal), is still struggling to deal with the loss. When Chloe (Valentina Novakovic) arrives from the UK, she almost seems too go to be true. She’s nice, polite, and, like me, she has red hair. Chloe is soon encouraging Blake to break out of her shell and hang out with more people than just her geeky friend, Jack (Rhys Matthew Bond). With the help of Chloe, Blake even becomes a cheerleader!

However, there are a few drawbacks to having Chloe in the house. For instance, Chloe has a habit of stealing people’s phones, drugging their drinks, flirting with their boyfriends, and drowning their other friends. Whenever Samantha starts to get too concerned about Chloe and her influence on her daughter, an email shows up from Chloe’s parents, suggesting that Samantha throw Chloe a birthday party or do something else that would generally cheer Chloe up. Of course, what Samantha doesn’t realize is that those emails are being sent by Chloe herself…

I really liked Deadly Exchange, largely because it was a good, old-fashioned Lifetime melodrama, one that didn’t take itself too seriously and wasn’t worried about going totally over the top. Chloe may have been a little bit disturbed and she did kill a few people but she did it with so much style that it was fun to watch. When Chloe wasn’t busy with murder and email, she was subtly but cleverly driving a wedge between Samantha, Blake, and everyone they knew. Any experienced Lifetime viewer knew exactly what Chloe was doing and what would probably happen as a result but, largely thanks to Valentina Novakovic’s cheerfully evil performance, it was still a lot of fun to watch. Of course, with a film like this, the villain is always the most interesting character but, as her unwitting victims, Linday Hartley, Victoria Konefal, Jason-Shane Scott, and Rhys Matthew Bond were all sympathetic and made a good impression as well.

(That said, I was definitely Team Chloe for most of the film.)

Deadly Exchange premiered during the days leading up to New Year’s Eve so I imagine a lot of people missed it when it originally aired. But, since Lifetime repeats all of their movies about a hundred times a month, it’ll probably air again soon. Keep an eye out for it!

A Movie A Day #274: The Dentist (1996, directed by Brian Yuzna)

Posted on October 9, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

Alan (Corbin Bernsen) may be a wealthy dentist in Malibu but he still has problems. He has got an IRS agent (Earl Boen) breathing down his neck. His assistant, Jessica (Molly Hagan), has no respect for him. His demanding patients don’t take care of their teeth. His wife (Linda Hoffman) is fucking the pool guy (Michael Stadvec). When Alan feels up a beauty queen while she’s passed out from the nitrous oxide, her manager (Mark “yes, the Hulk” Ruffalo) punches him and then goes to the police. Under pressure from all sides, Alan loses his mind and a crazy dentist with a drill means a lot of missing teeth.

“You’re a rabid anti-dentite!” Kramer once yelled at Jerry Seinfeld and even people who were not already uneasy about going to dentist will be after watching Corbin Bernsen stick his drill in Earl Boen’s mouth. The scene where Alan tells a group of dental students to yank out their patients’ teeth represents everyone’s worst fear of what dentists talk about when there aren’t any innocent bystanders around. The Dentist may be predictable but Corbin Bernsen gives the performance of his career, playing the nightmare of anyone who has ever had a toothache.

Of course, good health begins with healthy teeth and real-life dentists provide a valuable service. Take it from Robert Wagner:

Cleaning Out The DVR, Again #36: Killer Assistant (dir by Danny J. Boyle)

Posted on July 11, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Lisa is currently in the process of trying to clean out her DVR by watching and reviewing all 40 of the movies that she recorded from the start of March to the end of June. She’s trying to get it all done by the end of July 11th! Will she make it!? Keep visiting the site to find out!)

The 36th film on my DVR was Killer Assistant (also known as simply The Assistant.)

Killer Assistant originally aired on Lifetime on June 20th and it won major points from me just because of the title. Though often underappreciated, administrative assistants are the glue that hold most offices together. If there were no administrative assistants, the entire world would literally stop spinning so I’m always happy whenever I see a movie in which the assistants finally get their revenge.

The assistant of the title is … well, he claims his name is David (Brando Eaton). That’s not his real name, of course. And he’s really not from a small town in upstate New York despite what he tells everyone. He may be a shady character who stole someone else’s identity but that doesn’t mean that he’s not a good assistant! He especially proves to be invaluable to Suzanne Austin (Arianne Zucker), an editor at a fashion magazine. As Suzanne struggles to put together the magazine’s 50th anniversary edition (all the while being watched by her boss, who bare a probably not coincidental resemblance to Anna Wintour), David proves to be a great source of ideas. When Suzanne thinks that she’s seen her husband (George Stults) cheating on her, David proves to be a great source of comfort.

Which is another way of saying that they end up having a one night stand. How passionate do things get? So passionate that the sex scene is actually shown in slow motion. (You know that Lifetime is getting serious when they start using the slow mo.) However, the next morning, Suzanne announces that the previous night was a “mistake” and tells David that he is fired.

David, however, has other ideas. After all, he already went through the trouble of attacking one of Suzanne’s other assistants just to make sure that he’d be able to keep his job. David tells Suzanne that he’s not going anywhere. He’s going to continue to answer the phones for her and schedule meetings for her. And if she has a problem with that, he’ll just show everyone the little film that he made of the two of them during the previous night.

So, Suzanne is stuck with David. And David is now flirting with her rebellious teenage daughter, Calista (Natalie Lander).

Anyway, Killer Assistant is rather ludicrous but I enjoyed it because 1) it was about a crazy administrative assistant and 2) it took place at a fashion magazine and was, therefore, full of bitchy dialogue. Plus, Brando Eaton did a really good job in the role of David. He was just so clean-cut, helpful, and cheerful, no matter what terrible things he was plotting. As I watched the film, I found myself imagining a possible spin-off in which Suzanne is a guest judge on Project Runway and David blackmails her into praising the ugliest dress. It was fun!

(For those keeping track of my efforts to clean out my DVR, that’s 36 films down and 4 to go!)