Gerald Castillo | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime and Tubi!

This week, Zack has a chance to get ride of his main frenemy!

Episode 1.6 “Aloha Slater”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 23rd, 1989)

Zack Morris used to be the “top dog” at Bayside but now that Slater has arrived, no one cares about Zack’s pathetic little third place ribbon that he got at a track meet. Instead, they care about the giant trophy that Slater won at his latest wrestling match.

However, there may be hope on the horizon! Slater’s father, Major Martin Slater (Gerald Castillo), has been offered a transfer to Hawaii. When Major Slater tells Belding that he will be removing AC from school, Screech listens from inside a filing cabinet. Major Slater can’t wait to go to Hawaii but AC isn’t so sure. He’s finally got friends and he’s winning trophies! Major Slater leaves it up to his son. If AC Slater wants to go to Hawaii, the family will transfer. If AC wants to stay in California, they will.

Zack decides that AC has to go to Hawaii. He convinces Lisa, Kelly, and Jessie that AC is dying of a mysterious disease and that his only hope for survival is moving to Hawaii. Zack sprinkles fire ants on AC’s back to make AC herk and jerk, as if he’s having a spasm. “This is study hall, not soul train!” the teacher announces. That teacher, by the way, was played by Dustin Diamond’s father.

Zack convinces everyone to treat AC like crap. He also steals AC’s wrestling trophy. AC announces that he’s going to Hawaii. Kelly replies, “And I’m going with him!”

Zack is stunned. I’m stunned, as well. How exactly is Kelly going to go with him? Are her poor, salt-of-the-Earth parents okay with moving to one of the most expensive states to live in? At least the Slaters have a home and a good job waiting for them in the Aloha State.

(Actually, now that I think about it and I remember Saved By The Hell Hawaiian Style, Kelly did have that uncle who lived in Hawaii so I guess it’s not as out-there a development as I initially though.)

Kelly tells Slater that she knows he’s dying. Slater realizes that he’s been set up. It’s time for another prank! AC’s father turns out to be remarkably okay with staying in California. He’s also okay with pretending to be insane and throwing a grenade at Zack.

Watching this episode, it occurred to me that, during the first season at least, Mario Lopez was clearly the star of the show. While Mark-Paul Gosselaar was still trying a little bit too hard (and he wasn’t helped by some overwritten dialogue) and Dustin Diamond looked like he was about 10 years old, Mario Lopez gave a believable performance as a teenager who had finally found a home and didn’t want to leave it. Slater’s the compelling character, the one who actually gets to grow and deal with real problems. (Gosselaar, of course, has grown tremendously as an actor since the first season of SBTB.)

Fortunately, Slater stays in California. Yay! It’s hard to imagine Bayside without him.

This is my final Saved By The Bell review of 2025. Retro Television Reviews is taken a break for the holidays so that I can focus on Awards Season and Christmas movies! Saved By The Bell will return on January 10th, 2026.

This is the one where Charles Bronson sodomizes a guy with a dildo.

Don’t worry, though. Bronson does it off-screen and the guy was abusing Nicole Eggert so he had it coming.

In Kinjite, Bronson plays Lt. Crowe, a tough LAPD vice cop who hates two groups of people: pedophiles (which is cool, who doesn’t hate them?) and the Japanese (which is not cool). Not only does Crowe sodomize a pervert but he also forces a pimp to eat a gold watch and later, with the help of his partner, he holds another man over the edge of a balcony, just to have that man accidentally slip out of his shoes and plunge to his death. Finally, Crowe tosses a convict into a prison cell, where another prisoner (played by Danny Trejo, in what may have been his film debut) announces that he’s “got something big and long for you.” Crowe chuckles, “That’s justice” and then walks away.

Danny Trejo in Kinjite

Of the many strange films that Bronson made for Cannon Films, Kinjite may be the strangest. The main plot involves Crowe searching for and rescuing the kidnapped daughter of a Japanese businessman (James Pax). Before his daughter was kidnapped, the businessman groped Crowe’s fifteen year-old daughter on a city bus. The entire movie seems to be building up to the moment that Crowe, who is portrayed as being overprotective of his daughter, discovers what the businessman did but that moment never comes. There are numerous scenes of the businessman in Japan but they do not have anything to do with the rest of the plot. Strangely, neither Crowe’s daughter nor his wife (played by Peggy Lipton) are ever menaced by the bad guys. What type of Charles Bronson movie is this?

In Bronson’s defense, he was 71 year-old when he made this movie and, off screen, his wife Jill Ireland was battling the cancer that would eventually take her life. Bronson can be excused for not appearing to be overly invested in Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects. (Since Kinjite means Forbidden Subjects in Japanese, the actual title of this movie is Forbidden Subjects: Forbidden Subjects.) No one appears to have made much of an effort on Kinjite, though Bronson’s stunt double gets a good work out. Kinjite is full of scenes where Bronson throws a punch in close-up but his first in never actually shown connecting with anyone. Most of the action scenes are clumsily filmed so that Crowe keeps his back to the camera. All Kinjite needs is a supporting turn from Troy McClure and a cameo from McGarnagle and it would be perfect viewing for The Simpsons.

Kinjite would be the final film that Bronson made for Cannon Films. It would also be the last Bronson film to be directed by J. Lee Thompson. After Kinjite, Bronson appeared in two more feature films: Sean Penn’s The Indian Runner (which, if not for Penn’s pretentious direction, could have launched Bronson on a second career as a first-rate character actor) and a final Death Wish film. Bronson returned to television, appearing in three made-for-TV movies before retiring in 1999. Bronson died in 2003 but, as long as there are people who enjoy a good action movie, he will never be forgotten.