Cooper Hoffman Tries To Survive In The Trailer For The Long Walk


Somehow, I missed that a film version of The Long Walk is on the verge of being released.

The Long Walk is one of Stephen King’s best novels, even if it is one that he wrote under the name of Richard Bachman.  In a dystopian future, a group of young men enter an annual walking contest.  They have to walk a certain number of miles an hour (four in the book but apparently three in the film) and, if they fall behind or stop, they are executed by the soldiers following them.  The Walk continues until there is only one survivor.  The Long Walk feels like a distant cousin to The Running Man (the book, not necessarily the film adaptation).

The film version of The Long Walk was directed by Francis Lawrence, who previous directed The Hunger Games sequels, and has a cast that includes Cooper Hoffman, Charlie Plummer, Judy Greer, and Mark Hamill as the main bad guy.  Who knows if the film will do justice to the book’s bleak tone.  The trailer offers some hints.  The film will be released on September 12th.

Music Video of the Day: Get Right by Jennifer Lopez (2005, dir by Francis Lawrence)


I hope everyone had a great holiday!

Let’s start the final week of 2023 with Jennifer Lopez playing seven different characters in the video for Get Right.  This video was directed by Francis Lawrence, who famously worked with another Jennifer when he took over directing duties on The Hunger Games franchise.

Enjoy!

Music Video of the Day: I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing by Aerosmith (1997, directed by Francis Lawrence)


The video for this song, written for the film Armageddon, was filmed at the Minneapolis Armory.  Along with featuring clips from the movie, the video pays tribute to the real-life American space shuttle program.  When this song came out in 1997, it was inescapable. As with any popular song, there was a backlash but I defy anyone to get the chorus out of their head after they hear it.

Director Francis Lawrence directed music videos or just about everyone before starting a career as a feature film director, directing Constantine, I Am Legend, Water For Elephants, Red Sparrow, and the sequels to The Hunger Games.

Enjoy!

Music Video of the Day: Goodbye to You by Michelle Branch (2006, dir by Francis Lawrence)


Today’s music video of the day is another break-up anthem.  In this case, it’s Michelle Branch singing Goodbye To You while going through all of her break-up rituals.  These rituals include going to a pawnshop and exchanging her ring for a guitar and taking a goldfish to the beach.  Along the way to the beach, she witnesses a forest fire.  The fire actually looks pretty serious and undoubtedly, many lives were lost as a result.  However, this video reminds us that nothing is more important than going to the beach and singing away your troubles.

(To be honest, I’m surprised the roads weren’t closed because that forest fire looked really dangerous.  I know that California gets a new wildfire every week but still, I found myself wondering if Michelle’s going to have a home to which to return once she gets finished singing on the beach.)

This video was directed by Francis Lawrence, who also did The Hunger Games sequels.  If Jennifer Lawrence had been driving that car, she would have gotten out and helped to put out that fire.  I mean, I like the beach too and there’s even a little downtown pawnshop that I love but even I know that there are things that are more important.

Enjoy!

Music Video Of The Day: Whenever, Wherever by Shakira (2001, dir. by Francis Lawrence)


Hey, everyone!  Erin Nicole, here, filling in for Lisa while she celebrates her birthday!

Today’s music video of the day could be called Shakira Can Do Everything!  She can swim with the fishes!  She can leap on the rocks!  She can outrun the horses!  Most of this video was shot against a green screen but, in the underwater scenes, Shakira actually is swimming.  Francis Lawrence went on to direct the majority of the Hunger Games films.

There’s nothing Shakira can’t do!

Music Video of the Day: The Call by Backstreet Boys (2000, dir. by Francis Lawrence)


In this video, a man cheats on his girlfriend after he meets another girl at the club.  He gives his girlfriend a call where he lies about why he’s going to be late getting home.  Each Backstreet Boy takes a turn playing the cheater.

What the Hell, Backstreet Boys?  You’re all cheating on the same girl?  That’s not cool!

Check out that phone that AJ’s using at the start of the video.  Feel old, yet?  According to AJ, it was during the filming of this video that he tried cocaine for the first time.  Don’t worry, though, AJ’s been sober for a year now.

Enjoy!

 

Music Video of the Day: Sk8er Boi by Avril Lavigne (2002, dir. by Francis Lawrence)


With Lisa on vacation this week, it falls to me to select today’s music video of the day.  I picked the video for Avirl Lavigne’s Sk8er Boi because nostalgia is everything and I can still remember when this song was playing everywhere.

The song’s about a girl who has a crush on a skater but she still rejects him because all of her snobby friends don’t know that all skaters grow up to be rich rock stars who make appearances on TRL and get to hang out with Carson Daly.  Meanwhile, the snobby girl becomes a single mother and I just realized that this song is really problematic.

In the video, Avril and her followers perform an impromptu concert in the middle of Los Angeles before Avril escapes in a helicopter.  This was filmed at the intersection of 7th and S. Spring Street in Los Angeles so if you live near either of those streets, what were you doing in 2002?

I remember when The Sims first came out, every teenage Sim girl looked like Avril Lavigne.  Later, with the Superstar expansion pack, your Sims could actually try to hang out with Avril.

If you threw a really rocking party, she might even show up and see where you had trapped Drew Carey.

You can tell by the credit at the top of the picture that I’m not the one who actually did that to Drew but I wish I had.  That’s a clever way to keep your celebrity friends from ever going home.

But back to Sk8er BoiSk8er Boi was actually optioned for adaptation into a feature film but nothing ever came of it.  I don’t know why because the whole story is right there in the lyrics.  It could still be made because there will always be snobby girls and skater boys.  The only thing that would have to change would be the part about the skater playing guitar on MTV because no one does that anymore.

The video was directed by Francis Lawrence, who directed all of the Hunger Games movies except for the first one.  It was nominated for a MTV Music Video award but who cares about those?

Enjoy!

Constantine, Review by Case Wright


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Can one act stain your soul for all eternity? It turns out that if you attempt suicide, you’re going to Hell.  Anywho, Constantine was a comic by Alan Moore (Watchmen) long before Keanu Reeves played the demon fighter.  Full disclosure, I have purchased, but not read the comic. It’s long and I’m not sure if I can get through it for this horrorthon, but I WILL TRY!

Constantine was born with a “gift” that he could see demons among us.  This drives him out of his mind; so, he commits suicide and is sent promptly to Hell. He’s tormented for what seems like an eternity, but in our time was just two minutes. He returns to Earth because paramedics revive him.  Because he attempted to kill himself, he’s condemned to Hell when he dies.  How do I know this?The “Half-Angel” Gabriel tells it to us in really clunky exposition.  It turns out that Heaven and Hell are basically in a Cold War and can’t directly fight on Earth.

Constantine REALLY doesn’t want to go back to Hell.  His solution is to fight demons for a living to get into heaven. He does an exorcism here and there and fights evil, but this isn’t his ticket back to heaven- as I was told by MORE exposition.  Constantine is kind of a depressive and a little whiny at times.  I guess that’s why I kept getting annoyed by him.  Yeah, Yeah, your life sucks, but there’s no reason to do this all the time:

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There’s a lot of these “I’m so broody Boohoo” moments in this film.

Like this one: broody 3.jpg

This one was a long trip to bummer time with a soupçon of anger:

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Between the complaining, Constantine uncovers a plot that Lucifer’s son Mammon is trying to break into earth and cause a lot of trouble.  Trouble….Trouble….that starts with M …. and ends with N, which stands for Mammon!

Constantine was entertaining, but it seems kinda all over the place at times.  The parts that had him hot on the trail of Mammon and his evil plans were fun, but all the side plots and side characters were a mixture of goofy and dull.  Overall, it was a good burgers and fries flick.  Not to say that the comics or the cartoon (yep, there’s a cartoon, I know because of Google) aren’t awesome, but if they are the same quality as the movie, they are beach reads or I’m stuck on public transportation reading.  There might be sequel.  Will I watch it? Yes, because despite my snark, I’m basically 14.

 

Music Video of the Day: Circus by Britney Spears (2008, dir by Francis Lawrence)


“There’s two types of persons in the world.  The ones that entertain and the ones that observe.”

Ten years ago, this song helped me get through the most difficult December of my life and, for that reason, it is today’s music video of the day.

To be honest, despite the fact that this is one of my favorite Britney songs, I nearly didn’t pick Circus for music video of the day because the song was co-written and produced by the infamous Dr. Luke.  But you know what?  The song may have been written by him but Britney makes it her own and this video isn’t about him.  Instead, it’s about the circus that is everyone’s life.  When Britney emerges in control, it’s a reminder that we all have it in us to put on the top hat and take control of the circus.  It’s a slightly silly video but that’s what makes it so great. It’s a fun video and Britney appears to be happy, which was a huge relief back in 2008.

This video was directed by Francis Lawrence, who is today best known for directing all of the Hunger Games film, with the exception of the first one.  He also directed Red Sparrow but we’ll forgive him for that.  (Speaking of circuses, he also directed Water For Elephants.)

Enjoy!

Film Review: Red Sparrow (dir by Francis Lawrence)


God, this film was a mess.

Red Sparrow is a spy thriller that features a lot of spies but not many thrills.  Jennifer Lawrence plays Dominika Ergova, a Russian ballerina whose career with the Bolshoi is ended when another dancer drops her on stage.  Fortunately, Dominka’s sleazy uncle Ivan (Matthias Schoenaerts) has a new career in mind!  Maybe Dominka could be a sparrow, a spy who seduces the enemy!  Just in case Dominka doesn’t want to spend the rest of her life seducing westerners, Ivan arranges for her to witness a murder and then informs her that she’ll be eliminated as a witness unless she does what he tells her.  This, of course, leads to Dominkia attending State School 4, where she is schooled in the arts of seduction by Matron (Charlotte Rampling).  Upon graduation, Dominka is sent to Budapest, where she falls in love with a CIA agent named Nash (Joel Edgerton) and a lot of predictable spy stuff happens.  Despite all of the sex and violence, it’s just not much fun.

Red Sparrow has all the ingredients to be an enjoyably trashy 90-minute spy flick but instead, it’s a slowly paced, 140-minute slog that just seems to go on forever.  Throughout the film, director Francis Lawrence (no relation to the film’s star) struggles to maintain a steady pace.  Too much time is spent on Dominka’s life before she suffers the injury that should have opened the film.  Meanwhile, the only interesting part of the film — Dominka’s education at State School 4 — goes by far too quickly and, despite the fact that she was giving one of the few interesting performances in Red Sparrow, Charlotte Rampling vanishes from the film early on.  Once Dominkia gets to Budapest, the film really slow down to a crawl.  Joel Edgerton’s a good actor and an even better director but he gives an overly grim and serious performance in Red Sparrow and he and Jennifer Lawrence have next to no romantic chemistry.

(That lack of romantic chemistry petty much dooms the final forty minutes of the film.  It’s easy to imagine a much better version of Red Sparrow in which Bradley Cooper played the role of Nash.  True, that would have been like the 100th time that Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence starred opposite each other but why not?  It worked for William Powell and Myrna Loy.)

As for Jennifer Lawrence, her performance is okay.  It’s not one of her best and there’s a few moments where it seems as if she’s more concerned with maintaining her Russian accent than with what’s actually going on in the scene but, for the most part, it’s a good enough performance.  That said, you do have to wonder how long she can go without having another hit film.  Despite being heavily hyped, Passengers, Mother!, and Red Sparrow all underperformed at the box office.  (In defense of Mother!, it was never going to be a box office hit, regardless of who starred in it.)  As talented as she is, it’s sometimes hard not to feel that, as an actress, Jennifer Lawrence has lost some of the natural spark that took viewers by surprise in Winter’s Bone, launched a whole new genre of dystopian YA adaptations with The Hunger Games, and which previously elevated unlikely films like The House At The End Of The Street.  She was a far more interesting actress before she became J Law.

Here’s hoping that she finally gets another role worthy of her talent!