Tag Archives: Erin Gray

Holidays On The Lens: Christmas In Palm Springs (dir by Fred Olen Ray)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today, we have another cute little Christmas film from the insanely prolific director, Fred Olen Ray.

In 2014’s Christmas In Palm Springs, Dina Meyer is a divorced workaholic who is due to give a presentation in Palm Springs.  Patrick Muldoon is her ex-husband, who would like to get back together with her.  Fortunately, their children want them to get back together as well and will do anything to make it happen….

It’s cute and Christmas-y and Ian Ziering and David Chokachi in small roles.   (You may remember Chokachi as the speedo-wearing Baywatch lifeguard that my friend Evelyn nicknamed “The Bulge.”)  And it’s also a Starship Troopers reunion.  Personally, I just like it when Patrick Muldoon shows up in these movies!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.19 “Face of Love/Image of Celeste”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week …. hey, where’s Tattoo!?

Episode 5.19 “Face of Love/Image of Celeste”

(Dir by Don Chaffey, originally aired on March 20th, 1982)

Once again, as I did with Miami Vice and CHiPs, I am going to save time by doing this review bullet-point style.  It’s the holidays, after all.

  • After two (or was it three) weeks of just Roarke and Tattoo, this episode features only Julie as Roarke’s assistant.  Apparently, Tattoo has been busy helping a guest fulfill a “Cinderella fantasy” but things have gone wrong.  The carriage turned back into a pumpkin.  The horses turned back into mice and are now running all over the Island.  Tattoo is not seen in this episode, which is a shame because the last few episodes (featuring only him and Roarke) really did feel like a throw-back to the first two seasons of the show.
  • It’s been kind of weird during this season, continually hearing that various fantasies are going wrong.  That’s not the Fantasy Island that we all know.  Fantasy Island has previously been portrayed as a place where Roarke would never allow anything to truly go wrong.
  • Julie doesn’t really do anything as Roarke’s assistant in this episode.  Roarke tells her who each guest is and gives her the details of their fantasy but that’s pretty much it.
  • Laura Jensen (Erin Gray) has spent her life with a face that was scarred during a housefire.  She’s grown up to be bitter and angry.  She’s just gotten out of prison and she’s brought to the Island by her parole officer, Ron  (Monte Markham).  Ron’s fantasy is for Laura’s scars to go away so that Laura can let go of her anger and live a norma;l life.
  • Though initially weary, Laura is amazed when Roarke gives her a magical cream that causes her scars to temporarily vanish.  In fact, Laura appears to be ready to get on with her life and accept that she and Ron are in love.  But then Laura’s sleazy ex (Larry Manetti) shows up and tempts her back to her old ways.  Don’t worry.  It all works out in the end and Ron and Laura leave as a couple.  However, I get the feeling that Ron’s going to lose his job as a parole officer.  Falling in love with a parolee and taking a tropical vacation with her seems like something that would go against every rule in the book.
  • The other fantasy was slightly more interesting, if just because it featured Paul Gauguin.  When Celeste Vallon (Joanne Pettet) discovers that Roarke owns a Gauguin portrait of a woman who looks just like her, Celeste requests to go back to the past and be that woman.  Roarke agrees, even though he warns her that she will also have to make a very serious decision, one that could change history.
  • Right away, this fantasy ran into a major stumbling block.  The Gauguin painting looked absolutely nothing like something that Gauguin, one of the great post-impressionists, would have painted.  Instead, it’s a very conventional painting.
  • The second stumbling block is that the legendary and charismatic Gauguin is played by the handsome but mild-mannered Robert Goulet.
  • What Celeste discovers is that she is directly descended from the woman in Gauguin’s painting.  The woman was Gauguin’s mistress and was engaged, against her will, to marry a soldier (Christopher Stone).  If Celeste agrees to remain with Gauguin, then Gauguin will never paint another painting.  If Celeste agrees to return to France, her ancestor will lose the love of her life but Gauguin will continue to paint.
  • Celeste chooses not to change history.  Good for her!  Of course, that’s kind of an easy decision to make when Celeste isn’t the one who is actually going to have to live the rest of her life in Paris, dreaming of returning to Tahiti and Gauguin.
  • I wanted to like this episode more than I did.  The parole officer bringing one of his parolees to the Island felt strange to me and the Gauguin story would have worked if the painter had been anyone other than the Paul Gauguin.  If they had come up with a fictional painter, perhaps Goulet would have seemed more appropriate in the role.  As it was, this episode felt bland and miscast.
  • Herve Villechaize was an accomplished painter so it’s a shame he wasn’t present for the Gauguin story.  It’s previously been established that Tattoo is quite a painter himself so this episode definitely feels like a missed opportunity.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 4.9 “She Stole His Heart/Return of the Captain’s Brother/Swag and Mag”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

The Stubing Brothers are together again!

Episode 4.9 “She Stole His Heart/Return of the Captain’s Brother/Swag and Mag”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on December 8th, 1980)

This week, Captain Stubing’s no-good brother — Marshall Stubing — returns!  That means that it is once again time for Gavin MacLeod to put on a toupee and a fake mustache and to play a dual role.  (And, once again, he is credited as O.D. Warbux when playing Marshall.)

This time, Marshall is actually on the boat with the best of intentions.  He wants to marry Natalie Martin (Arlene Dahl) and, amazingly enough, Natalie wants to marry him as well.  Except — oh no! — it’s Zsa Zsa Gabor!  Gabor plays Marshall’s ex-girlfriend.  The character has a name but we’ll just call her Zsa Zsa because she’s basically playing herself.  Marshall is certainly tempted by Zsa Zsa but, in the end, he does the right thing and he marries Natalie.  In fact, the third Stubing brother, Milo Stubing (Sonny Wilde), shows up for the wedding.  Wait a minute, Sonny Wilde?  OH MY GOD, IT’S GAVIN MACLEOD IN ANOTHER WIG!

Gavin MacLeod plays three characters in this episode and let’s give him some credit.  It’s all very, very silly and Zsa Zsa Gabor is not for everyone but Gavin MacLeond pulls it off.  (Admittedly, there is one awkward scene where Merill has a conversation with Marshall and it’s obvious that no one told MacLeod where the other version of him would be standing so, as a result, Merrill appears to be looking over Marshall’s head while speaking to him but even that is kind of charming in its low-rent way.)  Gavin MacLeod appears to be having fun in this episode and that was definitely the correct approach to take to this show.  It keeps the story entertaining, even though not that much really happens with it.

As for the other stories …. eh, who cares?  I mean, when you’ve got Gavin MacLeod talking to himself and Zsa Zsa Gabor making a grand entrance into every scene, do you need any other stories?  Okay, okay, I’ll still talk about them, even though neither one is really that interesting.

Joan Van Ark plays a kleptomaniac from Oklahoma who falls for a psychologist played by Stephen Keep Mills.  Whenever she flirts with him, she ends up walking away with his wallet or his wristwatch.  Fortunately, they find romance and good mental health together.  The doctor could have just called the police and had her arrested but that would have made for a depressing ending.

Darryl Brewster (Ron Ely) is Vicki’s favorite actor.  He plays private detective Steve Swaggart on television.  Swaggart can win any fight but when Darryl is challenged to a real fight by another passenger (William Boyett), Darryl ends up trying to pay the guy off.  The passenger reveals Darryl is a coward and, for a while, everyone is disillusioned.  But then Darryl gives a speech about the difference between playing a brawler and being one and everyone forgives him, including his agent and soon-to-be lover, Maggie (Erin Gray).  The big problem here is that we’re asked to believe that Stubing would allow two passengers to schedule a fistfight on his ship without any repercussions.  That would be the sort of thing that I think would get most captains fired.  Obviously, Merrill was pre-occupied with his brothers but that’s really no excuse for putting the cruise line in legal jeopardy.

In short, it may be time to fire Stubing and let Gopher take over.

We’ll see if Stubing has gotten any better at his job next week.

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 4.3 “The Skater’s Edge/Concerto of Death/The Last Great Race”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube, Daily Motion, and a few other sites.

This week, Fantasy Island loses a fantasy.  Read on to find out the details and remember, “Smiles, everyone!  Smiles!”

Episode 4.3 “The Skater’s Edge/Concerto of Death/The Last Great Race”

(Dir by Cliff Bole and Vince Edwards, originally aired on November 8th, 1980)

When this episode originally aired, it was a special two-hour episode of Fantasy Island, one that featured three fantasies as opposed to the usual two.

In Skater’s Edge, Charlie Johnson (Charlene Tilton) is a farm girl from Missouri who dreams of being a world class figure skater.  She comes to the Island to compete in the Fantasy Island Skating Competition.  Mr. Roarke gives Charlie a pair of magic skates that he claims belonged to figure skater Sonja Henie.  As long as Charlie is wearing the skates, she is the greatest skater in the world.  She takes the competition by storm and she also wins the heart of coach Mike O’Brien (Dack Rambo).  Unfortunately, in doing so, Charlie upsets Mike’s protégé, Laura Henderson (Peggy Fleming).  Laura steals Charlie’s skates but, after Mr. Roarke talks to her about the importance of friendship and fair play, Laura returns the skates to Charlie. Charlie gets a perfect score from the judges but, even more importantly, she learns a lesson in humility and she’s happy when Laura is named the winner of the competition.  Laura has the Fantasy Island championship but Charlie has got Mike.

In Concerto of Death, Dennis Cole plays Jeremy Hale, who comes to the island with his wife (Mary Ann Mobley).  Jeremy’s brother was a talented concert pianist who was murdered.  Jeremy wants to play as well as his brother but he also wants to solve his murder.  Roarke gives Jeremy an emerald ring that glows a deep green when Jeremy plays his piano.  Roarke warns Jeremy that his brother’s ghost might try to possess him and seek violent revenge against those who he blames for his death.  The scenes involving Jeremy being possessed feature Jeremy being suffused by a green glow and yes, it’s kind of silly but it’s still fun in the way that cheap special effects often are.  Eventually, Jeremy realizes that his brother was killed by Carla Marco (Erin Gray) and it ends with the police taking away Carla and Jeremy’s guest cabin burning to the ground.  That cabin burned down to the ground at least once per season.

Finally, in The Last Great Race, Dick Shawn and Juliet Mills play a couple who are divorcing.  They go on a race with the winner getting the majority of their possessions.

You may notice that I don’t have much to say about The Last Great Race.  This is because the Race fantasy was edited out of this episode when it went into syndication.  Unfortunately, all of the versions that I’ve found of this episode online are of the syndicated version.  So, I guess The Last Great Race is just going to be the lost fantasy of Fantasy Island.

It’s hard to judge this episode because, in the syndicated version, it’s very obvious that a lot has been removed.  It makes things feel a bit disjointed with the scene transitions often coming abruptly.  Charlie and Mike seem to fall in love in record time and Laura declaring herself to be Charlie’s friend seems odd because we haven’t really seen them interact before Laura steals her skates.  Meanwhile, the story with Jeremy also feels rushed with the final confrontation between Jeremy and the murderer seeming to come out of nowhere.

That said, it’s kind of a fun episode.  The skating scenes feature an obvious stunt double for Charlene Tilton and it’s hard not to be kind of charmed by how obvious it all is.  (You can get dizzy as the scene cuts from close-ups of Tilton’s face and close-ups of the stunt double’s legs.)  The supernatural story makes no sense but the silly special effects made me smile.  The episode ends with Mr. Roarke causing snow to fall on Fantasy Island but, in typical Roarke fashion, he makes sure that it only falls on Tattoo.  Roarke has a good laugh while Tattoo screams in terror.  Seriously, those two hate each other so much.

Buck Rogers in the 25th Century (1979, directed by Daniel Haller)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

In the year 1987, NASA launches it’s final manned mission.  Captain Buck Rogers (Gil Gerard) is sent into space but, while he’s orbiting the Earth, he and his spacecraft fall victim to a strange space anomaly which leaves him in suspended animation.  On Earth, Buck Rogers is believed to be lost.  500 years pass.  Buck’s ship continues to orbit the Earth while, down below, mankind nearly destroys itself in a nuclear war.  Eventually, Earth is reduced to radioactive rubble and what remains of human civilization lives in the city of New Chicago.  (Old Chicago, meanwhile, has been taken over by mutants.)

Finally, in the 25th century, Buck and his ship are discovered by Draconia, a spaceship that belongs to the intergalactic Draconian Empire.  Buck is brought out of suspended animation and meets the beautiful Draconian Princess Ardala (Pamela Hensely) and her second-in-command, an Earthling named Kane (Henry Silva).  Ardala would obviously like to make Buck her prince but, after being in suspended animation for 500 years, Buck just wants to return to Earth.  The Draconians allow Buck to return home.

Upon landing in New Chicago, Buck discovers that the world is much different now.  Everyone wears skintight uniforms and a little robot named Twiki (voice by Mel Blanc) is the only person willing to be Buck’s friend.  Commander Wilma Deering (Erin Gray) is in charge of defending what’s left of human civilization and she’s immediately suspicious of Buck and his story.  When it turns out that Ardala and Kane implanted Buck with a tracking device, Deering want to execute him.  Can Buck prove his loyalty and also thwart Ardala and Kane’s plot to conquer humanity?

Buck Rogers In The 25th Century was originally a pilot for a Glen Larson-produced televisions series.  (Larson was also responsible for the original Battlestar Galactica, another sci-fi show whose pilot was given a theatrical release.)  Hoping to appeal to the same audiences who made Star Wars a monster hit, Universal spent a little extra money to upgrade the special effects, added a few suggestive scenes to prevent the pilot from getting the dreaded G-rating, and then released it in theaters a few months before the TV show premiered.  That was a good idea because the movie did become a minor hit and the TV series went on to run for two seasons.

As the movie itself, it never feels like anything more than an extended episode of a television series.  Gil Gerard is bland in the lead role and most serious sci-fi fans will probably lose interest as soon as the child-friendly robot shows up.  Buck Rogers may have been made to capitalize on the success of Star Wars but it doesn’t have any of the attention to detail or the careful world-building that went into George Lucas’s original space opera.  On the plus side, though, the Dads who took their kids to matinee showings of this film were probably happy to see Erin Gray and Pamela Hensley prominently featured in the film and Henry Silva is a great villain as always.  As with a lot of the sci-fi films that were released in the immediate wake of Star Wars, Buck Rogers In The 25th Century does have a definite camp appeal.  It’s bad but some people will enjoy it on a nostalgic level.

Probably the most memorable thing about Buck Rogers In the 25th Century was its James Bond-inspired title sequence.  Here it is, in all of its glory:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BINijYepahA

Coach of the Year (1980, directed by Don Medford)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Jim Brandon (Robert Conrad) used to be a member of the Chicago Bears, until he was drafted and sent to Vietnam.  While Jim was serving his country, he was wounded in battle and when he returns to the United States, he’s now in a wheelchair.  With his playing days over, Jim still wants to put his athletic abilities to good use.  When the Bears front office tells him that they want to place him in the PR department as a glorified mascot, Jim tells them to forget about it and then starts to search for any opportunity to work as a coach.  Unfortunately, no one is willing to take a chance on a coach who can’t walk across the field.

While he looks for a job, Jim is living with his sister (Erin Gray) and her son, Andy (Ricky Paull Goldin).  When Andy gets caught (not for the first time) breaking the law, he is sent to the local reform school.  It’s while Jim is visiting his nephew that he notices that the students at the Illinois State Training School for Boys like to play football.  Jim suggests that the school needs an official team and that he would be the perfect person to coach them.

At first, the boys are rebellious and refuse to show Jim any respect but Jim slowly wins them over.  When a prep school’s football team visits the reform school and makes some snide remarks, Jim challenges them to a game.  If Jim’s team wins, it will not only prove that Jim can coach but it will also give the members of the team a needed boost of self-respect.  If Jim loses, he’ll get fired and his team will probably try to escape before boarding the bus back to reform school.

Coach of the Year was a TV movie and there’s nothing surprising about it.  It’s a typical example of an “inspiring” sports film, where an underdog team is led to victory by an underdog coach.  The two teams play each other twice in the movie and, just as surely as you’ll be able to guess who wins the first game, you’ll also be able to guess who manages to beat the odds and win the second game.  The film’s main selling point is that Robert Conrad gives a good performance as Jim Brandon.  Conrad is believable as both a coach, a former star athlete, and a man who is not yet prepared to surrender his pride.  Though Jim’s clearly the hero, the movie doesn’t idealize him.  Sometimes, Jim can be too stubborn for his own good.  Supposedly, in real life, Conrad was always the celebrity who ended up taking his appearances on Battle Of The Network Stars too seriously and that’s the way that Conrad plays Jim.  It doesn’t matter if his team is made up of a bunch of juvenile delinquents or that their games are just for exhibition.  Jim’s determined to win.

Coach of the Year is on Amazon Prime.  Unfortunately, Battle Of The Network Stars is not.