Guilty Pleasure No. 67: Aerobicide (dir by David A. Prior)

Posted on October 16, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It doesn’t get more 80s than 1987’s Aerobicide, a rather ludicrous slasher film that is also known as Killer Workout.

The clients and the staff at Rhonda’s Work-Out are in danger. People are being murdered inside the gym, left and right. One member of the gym is slashed to death in the showers. Another one is beaten to death with a barbell while his friend is killed with a very large safety pin. One instructors ends up hanging in a closet while another is stabbed to death in a locker room. A group of teens show up to spray graffiti on the outside of the club and they all end up getting murdered as well.

Most people would assume that, with all of those murders going on, that the place would be closed down or, at the very least, people would stop frequenting the gym. But no, the opposite happens. Every murder is followed by an aerobics class, in which the camera shamelessly lingers on the lycra-clad participants, none of whom seem to be particularly concerned about working out at a crime scene. ( If your body’s looking too big, one of the film’s many songs tells us, Like a hippo or a pig/ Gotta workout/ gotta work out….) The gym’s owner, Rhonda Johnson (Marica Karr), doesn’t seem to be particularly concerned about the gym getting a bad reputation as a result of all the murders. Instead, she’s more annoyed with her surviving instructors, snapping at one, “Stop showing off your tits and that tight little ass!” Personally, I would think looking good would be a top priority for someone working at a gym but apparently, Rhonda feels differently.

(Then again, if people were being murdered at my gym, I’d probably cancel my membership, despite the fact that my gym is only a few blocks away from my house and most of the people who go there are relatively cool. That said, the main reason why I signed up for a membership was so my sister could get a discount on her membership fees. Personally, I prefer running.)

Even if Rhonda refuses to close the gym, you would think that Lt. Morgan (David James Campbell) would make sure that the gym had a full-time police presence. Eventually, Morgan does assign one policeman to watch the gym but that’s only after several murders have already occurred and that one policeman’s presence doesn’t really do much good. Then again, Lt. Morgan never comes across as being a particularly good cop. Morgan is spectacularly bad at his job, which wouldn’t be a huge problem if not for the fact that Morgan is also the hero of the film. Eventually, he does figure out that the murders are connected to a tragic tanning bed accident but it’s hard to say how exactly he managed to do that. Rather than actually showing us Lt. Morgan gathering clues and drawing conclusions, the film just has him randomly blurt stuff out.

It’s all pretty ridiculous but, because the film is such a film of it’s time, it’s also rather fascinating. Killer Workout may not have been the only or even the first film to combine Flashdance with slasher chills but it is the first one to feature a song with lyrics like, “It’s the perfect body you’re looking for/it’s aerobocide.” This is one of those films where you come for the big hair and the 80s fashions and the bass-heavy score and you stay for the ludicrous plot twists, the overacting, the overheated dialogue, and the out-of-nowhere plot twists that dominate the film’s final 30 minutes. It’s not necessarily a “good” film but I defy anyone to look away once it begins.

Previous Guilty Pleasures

Sledgehammer (1983, directed by David A. Prior)

Posted on October 7, 2021 by Jedadiah Leland

Long ago, an adulterous couple was beaten to death by someone weilding a sledgehammer while one of the victm’s 8 year-old son watched. Ten years later, a bunch of stupid college kids decide that the farmhouse would be a great place to throw a party. Great idea! After a lot of filler, including a length foodfight, one of the partiers tells the story of the murder and then suggests holding a seance so that they can talk to “ghosts and goblins.” Everyone agrees. At first, it seems like the seance is just an extended practical joke but soon, a killer with a sledgehammer shows up.

Sledgehammer was an early direct-to-video slasher film. It was directed by David A. Prior, who later went on to become one of the buseist DTV directors of the 80s and 90s. Starring in the film was Ted Prior, brother of David. Ted plays Chuck, who is not sure whether or not he wants to marry his fiancee, Joni (Linda McGill). There’s a scene where Chuck and Joni walk through a fied in slow motion. It adds nothing to the plot but it did add to the running time, which I imagine was the intent. There are, in fact, several slow motion sequences in the film. There’s so much slow motion that it’s hard not to laugh whenever the frames start to slow down. It’s an 87 minute film but it feels like at least 20 minutes of that is due to the slow motion.

Sledgehammer is slow and dumb but it’s hard to really dislike it. The cast may be amateurish but they also appear to be having a good time and the decision to film almost the entire movie in what was then David Prior’s apartment is actually likable in a low-rent, anyone-can-make-a-movie way. The opening credits are written in generic 80s computer font and the movie ends with a lengthy “You have been watching” style montage of the cast. It’s like bad 80s synthesizer music, cheesy but impossible to hate. As for the killer, he’s stuck wearing a cheap mask but the sledgehammer is a good weapon and it actually makes him more threatening than many of his knife and axe wielding comrades.

Sledgehammer is not great. It’s not even the best thing from the 80s to be called Sledgehammer. (David Rasche rules!) But it’s better than many other direct-to-video slashers. What it lacks in creativity, it maes up for with ethusiasm.

Cinemax Memories: Raw Nerve (1991, directed by David A. Prior)

Posted on October 1, 2019 by Jedadiah Leland

Raw Nerve opens with a serial killer haunting Mobile, Alabama, using a pump action shotgun to shoot women in the face while they’re wearing red high heels. Race car driver Jimmy Clayton (Ted Prior, brother of this film’s director) has been having visions of the murders so he goes to the police and offers to help them out. Unfortunately for Jimmy, neither Detective Ellis (Jan-Michael Vincent!) nor Captain Gavin (Glenn Ford!!) believe in psychic phenomena so they toss Jimmy’s ass in jail. While Ellis’s ex-wife, Gloria (Sandahl Bergman!!!), tries to prove that Jimmy’s innocent, Jimmy’s mechanic (Randall “Tex” Cobb!!!!), takes an unhealthy interest in Jimmy’s teenage sister, Gina (TRACI LORDS!!!!!).

As you can tell from reading the paragraph above, the main thing that this film has going for it is a cast full of recognizable B-actors. Though none of them are really at their best, Raw Nerve is still your only chance to see Glenn Ford, Jan-Michael Vincent, and Sandahl Bergman all sharing scenes together. Unfortunately, despite all of the famous names in the cast, Ted Prior got the most screen time and he really didn’t have the screen presence to pull off either the role or the film’s loony final twist.

The best thing about Raw Nerve is that it features both Randall “Tex” Cobb and Traci Lords. Lords was a legitimately good actress, even if her past as a pornographic actress made it impossible for her to get the type of roles that she really deserved. Lords doesn’t get to do much in Raw Nerve but she does her best to make Gina into a real character instead of just a generic victim. Meanwhile, Randall “Tex” Cobb is a marvel as a biker who is never seen without a beer in his hand. When Cobb eventually leaves the movie, you miss him.

Raw Nerve was one of the many low-budget thrillers that came out in the 90s. Like many of these films, Raw Nerve was directed by David A. Prior and released by Action International Pictures, which shared both an acronym and a sensibility with American International Pictures. Though films like Raw Nerve may not have been great art, they were entertaining if you came across one of them on Cinemax. Where else were you going to see Tex Cobb and Jan-Michael Vincent battle it out at two in the morning?

A Mardi Gras Film Review: Mardi Gras For The Devil (dir by David A. Prior)

Posted on February 10, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

A maniac is holding New Orleans hostage! He’s committed a series of savage, Satanically-influenced homicides and the police cannot seem to even slow him down! The entire city is terrified!

Well, actually … New Orleans doesn’t seem to be scared at all. In fact, no one in this movie seems to be all that disturbed by all of the brutal murders that are happening around them. Some people would probably say that’s because this film takes place during Mardi Gras and everyone’s too drunk to notice. Why worry about being murdered when all you have to do to get a bunch of cheap beads is flash a boob? Add to that, this is New Orleans. New Orleans is a very forgiving city.

Anyway, regardless of whether people care or not, there’s a Satanic murderer prowling through the city. Who is the killer? Could he possibly be that guy who always dresses in black, who has a perfectly trimmed beard, and who is always throwing back his head and laughing before doing something evil? The guy’s name is Bishop and he’s played by everyone’s favorite Canadian character actor, Michael Ironside. As far as Michael Ironside villains are concerned, Bishop is pretty frightening though he’s nowhere near as a frightening as Darryl Revok. I mean, he does a lot of evil stuff but he doesn’t actually make anyone’s head explode.

Detective Mike Turner (Robert Davi) is obsessed with stopping Bishop. Unfortunately, Detective Turner doesn’t appear to be very good at his job. I mean, everyone he knows he keeps getting seriously injured. His first partner dies. His second partner gets run over by a bus. His ex-wife (Lesley-Anne Down) ends up trapped in a pool. His girlfriend (Lydie Denier) ends up getting tied up in a barn while a time bomb ticks down across from her. Fortunately, a few of these people do manage to survive. Turner may not be a very good cop but, fortunately, Bishop isn’t that good of a serial killer.

It soon becomes apparent that Bishop has a motive for all of his murders, one that goes beyond the usual serial killer weirdness. It turns out that Bishop’s murders are actually sacrifices and he has given his soul to Satan. Giving your soul to the devil apparently gives you the power to do whatever the script needs you to do at any particular moment in the movie. Fortunately, it also leaves you with a weakness that can be exploited whenever the movie decides to come to an end.

Am I saying that Mardi Gras For the Devil makes no sense? I most definitely am! However, that’s actually the film’s charm. The film was made with so little concern for continuity and narrative logic that it plays out like a fever dream. The cast is surprisingly good for a film like this, which means that everyone delivers the strangest of lines with the utmost sincerity. Michael Ironside plays his role without a hint of subtlety, which is exactly the type of bad guy that a film like this requires. Meanwhile, Robert Davi brings a weary cynicism to his role. You can just hear him thinking, “Satanic serial killers? I’m too old for this shit.” Combine that with a fiery ending that doesn’t even try to make sense and you have a movie that, perhaps through no intention of the film’s director, manages to create and sustain a very surreal atmosphere. The film may not be any good but it’s hard to look away from.

Though the film takes place at Mardi Gras and was released, in some countries, as both Mardi Gras For The Devil and Mardi Gras Nightmare, it actually has very little do with Mardi Gras. The opening scenes were shot during a Mardi Gras parade but that’s about it. The film was also released under the title Night Trap, which is a woefully generic title. You can find the movie on YouTube.