Brad reviews SHOWDOWN (1993), starring Billy Blanks and Patrick Kilpatrick!

Posted on August 19, 2025 by Bradley Crain

Are you a fan of THE KARATE KID? If you are, then I have the movie for you… SHOWDOWN (1993)! What’s better is that it’s now streaming on Amazon Prime, so you can go watch it right now!

SHOWDOWN is primarily the story of Ken Marx (Kenn Scott), a high school student who has recently moved to a new city with his mom. When he enrolls in the local high school, he catches the eye of the beautiful Julie (Christine Taylor), unaware that her boyfriend is a bullying asshole named Tom (Ken McLeod), a young martial artist trained by the ruthless sensei Lee (Patrick Kilpatrick). SHOWDOWN is also the story of ex-cop Billy Grant (Billy Blanks), who accidentally killed evil sensei Lee’s brother seven years earlier when breaking up a wild party one night when he was on duty with his partner Spinelli (Mike Genovese). Unable to cope with killing a man, Billy is now working as a janitor at the high school. The two main characters come together one afternoon when Tom gives Ken a good beating for having the nerve to talk to his property, I mean his girlfriend, Julie. Billy sees Ken doubled over in pain after taking a shot from Tom in the face and the gut, so he reluctantly decides to help the new kid, eventually introducing him to self-defense techniques and martial arts that will help him stand up to the bully. His teaching methods are quite unconventional and include such humbling tasks as cleaning toilets and urinals. The stories all come to a head one night when Ken and Tom fight it out in the ring. When evil sensei Lee tries to involve himself in the battle between the students, Billy gets his own shot at redemption when he steps in to enforce law and order for the first time in many years!

Based on the plot description above, it’s evident that SHOWDOWN is not afraid to wear its “Karate Kid” influences on its sleeve! I had never seen this 1993 B-movie before, so I found a lot of nostalgic fun in its familiar underdog story, with characters even specifically referencing key moments from the 80’s classic. Even if he’s somewhat limited as an actor, Billy Blanks just has this likable presence about him, and he’s definitely believable as a martial arts master. I enjoy watching him. Kenn Scott carries on the tradition of being a 25-year-old man playing a high school student, but he seems much older to me than Ralph Macchio did in THE KARATE KID. Scott in 1993 was much more physically developed than Macchio was in 1984, so while he doesn’t seem reasonable as a high school student, he does seem more reasonable as a fighter. Continuing my comparisons, Christine Taylor is cute as the love interest, but a fifth grade Brad Crain fell head over heels in love with Elizabeth Shue as “Ali with an I.” That’s not Christine’s fault though, and she’s fine here. Finally, I have to give a shoutout to Patrick Kilpatrick as the evil sensei Lee. In a career defined by playing bad guys, his deliriously unhinged, over-the-top performance here is a true highlight of the film.

As for the fight choreography in SHOWDOWN, it’s serviceable and delivered with conviction, but it’s not that great when viewed in 2025 and compared to the better movies of the genre. But that’s okay because the movie does what a lot of movies can’t do… it entertains and moves by at a fast pace. I enjoyed it, and I can easily recommend it to any person who enjoyed THE KARATE KID series or low budget, early 90’s, direct-to-video action.

Cleaning Out The DVR Yet Again #16: Zoolander 2 (dir by Ben Stiller)

Posted on November 28, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Lisa recently discovered that she only has about 8 hours of space left on her DVR! It turns out that she’s been recording movies from July and she just hasn’t gotten around to watching and reviewing them yet. So, once again, Lisa is cleaning out her DVR! She is going to try to watch and review 52 movies by Wednesday, November 30th! Will she make it? Keep checking the site to find out!)

On October 14th, I recorded Zoolander 2 off of Epix.

A sequel to the 2001 cult hit, Zoolander 2 came out earlier this year and got absolutely terrible reviews and quickly vanished from theaters. Watching the film last night, I could understand why it got such terrible reviews. Zoolander 2 is not only a terrible movie but it’s also a rather bland one. Somehow, the blandness is even more offensive than the badness.

Zoolander 2 opens with Justin Bieber getting assassinated and Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) being forced to come out of retirement and discover why pop stars are being targeted. And, of course, Zoolander can’t do it without the help of Hansel (Owen Wilson)! Penelope Cruz is in the film as well, playing Zoolander’s handler and essentially being wasted in a role that could have been played by anyone.

Oh! And Will Ferrell returns as well. Ferrell gives a performance that essentially shouts out to the world, “Fuck you, I’m Will Ferrell and no one is going to tell Will Ferrell to tone his shit down!”

Actually, I think everyone in the world is in Zoolander 2. This is one of those films that is full of cameos from people who probably thought a silly comedy would be good for their image. For instance, there’s a huge number of journalists who show up playing themselves. Matt Lauer shows up and I get the feeling that we’re supposed to be happy about that. There was a reason why people cheered when the sharks ate him in Sharknado 3.

You know who else shows up as himself? Billy Zane! And Billy Zane has exactly the right type of attitude for a film like this. He shows up and he mocks the whole enterprise by giving the Billy Zaniest performance of Billy Zane’s career. For that matter, Kiefer Sutherland also shows up as himself. I’m not really sure what Kiefer was doing in the film but he makes sure to deliver all of his lines in that sexy growl of his. Kiefer knows what we want to hear.

You may notice that I’m not talking about the plot of Zoolander 2. That’s largely because I couldn’t follow the plot. This is an incredibly complicated film but it’s not complicated in a funny way. Instead, it’s complicated in a way that suggests that the film was made up on the spot. It’s as if the cast said, “We’re all funny! Just turn on the camera and we’ll make it work!”

The problem with Zoolander 2 is obvious. The first film pretty much exhausted the comic possibilities of making a spy film about shallow and stupid models. Don’t get me wrong — the first film did a good job but it’s not like it left any material untapped. But I would ask you to indulge me as I imagine an alternate reality.

Consider this: Terrence Malick was reportedly a huge fun of Zoolander.

Let’s take just a minute to imagine a world in which Ben Stiller asked Terrence Malick to write and direct Zoolander 2. And let’s say, just for the sake of argument, that Malick agreed!

Just think about it — 4 hours of Zoolander and Hansel staring up at the sky and thinking about nature. “What is this thing that causes the heart of man to beat?” Zoolander asks. “Are we nature or has nature become us?” Hansel replies.

That would have been a fun film!

Quickie Review: Dodgeball – A True Underdog Story (dir. by Rawson Marshall Thurber)

Posted on January 8, 2011 by Arleigh

What is there to say about Dodgeball – A True Underdog Story other than it’s a no-brainer of a hilarious movie that doesn’t aspire to lofty heights. What it does do is come out firing with some of the funniest physical comedy and one-liners since The Farrelly Brothers’ Something About Mary. First time director Rawson Marshall Thurber does a good enough job to keep the laughs coming one right after the another to keep Dodgeball from becoming too repetitive.

The movie is a riff from the stock underdog sports genre with a Peter La Fleur (played by Vince Vaughn with his usual sardonic wit) having to find a way to save his Average Joe’s Gym from being foreclosed by his bank and turned by a rival hi-tech gym next door into a parking lot. Who else would be the perfect foil for Vince Vaughn’s Peter La Fleur but none other than Ben Stiller as the former-fatty turned workout fitness Nazi, White Goodman. Goodman’s Globo Gym is a state-of-the art, sterile and BALCO-like gym where insults and making its members feel ugly, fat and useless is the way to clean health and the perfect bod.

Already, within the first fifteen minutes, we know who to root for and who to boo. In one corner we have the Average Joe’s guys played with comedic timing by Justin Long, Stephen Root, Chris Williams, Alan Tudyk and Joel Moore. Stiller’s Goodman and his consigliere Me’Shell (Jamal Duff channeling Barry White) with a hand-picked ringer of a dodgeball team he calls the Purple Cobras. With the two sides set the dodgeball carnage begins as Average Joe’s must win the Las Vegas Dodgeball Invitational to earn the $50,000 needed to save the gym. To round out the Average Joe’s team will be the bank accountant who ends up sympathizing with the Joe’s, Kate Veatch (played by Stiller’s real-life wife, Christine Taylor) and Patches O’Houlihan (Rip Torn in a scene-stealing role).

Rip Torn is hilarious as the acerbic and insane former dodgeball great Patches O’Houlihan. He pretty much gets all the best one-liners in the movie the moment he appears on the screen. He coaches the Average Joe’s team by browbeating them, insulting them and, failing that, throwing wrenches at them to help them in learning the 5 D’s of dodgeball: Dodge, duck, dip, dive, dodge. In fact, I would say that if it wasn’t for Rip Torn’s character dominating the middle part of the movie, I think Dodgeball‘s constant ball to the groin shots would’ve gotten old. Instead Patches O’Houlihan constantly gave people watching a reason to laugh out loud.

Dodgeball – A True Underdog Story is a movie that the Academy voters will not go about showering with praises and awards, but I’m sure most of them will be watching it and laughing out loud like the rest of the general public. Dodgeball is one hilarious, one-liner after one-liner ball to the nuts funny and it doesn’t aspire to be anything else but that. This movie will never get old with each viewing and will continue to make people laugh out loud.