Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 2.9 “A Family Affair”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, the playoffs continue.

Episode 2.9 “A Family Affair”

(Dir by Burt Brinckerhoff, originally aired on January 13th, 1987)

A playoff game against Denver is approaching.  Denver is coached by a former protegee of Denardo’s and Denardo is obsessed with winning.  He’s so obsessed that he alienates the players and Coach Grier (Stan Kamber).  Grier is tempted to take a job as Houston’s head coach.  Denardo says he doesn’t care until Diane reveals that Grier has turned down several other jobs out of loyalty to Denardo.

As for the other assistant coach, T.D. Parker (OJ Simpson) has problems of his own.  His youngest son is acting out and the only thing that’s kept him out of juvenile detention is the fact that the cops are all fans of T.D. and the Bulls.  T.D. tells his son that he’s not allowed to leave the house.  When T.D.’s wife says that she thinks T.D. is being too strict, T.D. tells her to back off.  T.D. gets really mad in this episode but none of it is convincing because OJ Simpson was too amiable an actor to really come across as being threatening.  That’s something that would prove helpful to OJ in the years to come.

Meanwhile, the players all invest in the stock market.  The stock doesn’t do well.  The player who recommended the stock is chased out onto the field before the start of the big game against Denver.  Ha ha, those players are all broke now.  Good luck dealing with life after the game.

This show, I never know what to make of it.  Is it a comedy?  Is it a drama?  Why is it so oddly edited?  How many scenes were cut for syndication?  Why do storylines start and then just disappear?  For that matter, why do characters suddenly vanish?  Dr. Death was a huge part of the show during the first half of the second season but I haven’t seen him during the second half.  Did he get traded?  Did he get injured?  Seriously, what’s going on with this show?

I have no idea.  Football’s a confusing sport.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 2.8 “Easy Come Easy Go”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

Time to get back to 1st & Ten.  To be honest, with all the excitement of the holiday season, I totally forgot that I was reviewing this show.

Episode 2.8 “Easy Come, Easy Go”

(Dir by Burt Brinckerhoff, originally aired on January 6th, 1987)

This is yet another episode of 1st & Ten that felt as if it was put together almost at random.

Mad Dog (Tony Longo) has a one night stand with a lawyer named Molly (June Chadwick) and he ends up becoming obsessed with her.  He shows up at a fancy cocktail party being hosted by Molly’s law firm.  “This man is stalking me!” Molly yells.  All of the men at the party are like, “Mad Dog!  You’re my favorite player!”  Now, I will say that this is a realistic portrayal of how most men act whenever they see a professional athlete but it still felt a bit icky to watch.

Jethro takes a blood test and discovers that little Tommy is not his son.  But he still wants to be a part of the kid’s life.

Yinessa sees a tabloid newspaper headline about his “nude pictures” and starts yelling at a supermarket manager for selling the paper.

Waldren is in financial trouble because he’s been tossing money around.  A group of gamblers approach him and offer to pay to shave points.  OJ Simpson (in the role of offensive coordinator T.D. Parker) tells Waldren, “I’m keeping my eye on you.”  Oh no!  LOOK OUT, WALDREN!

However, Waldren does not shave points.  Instead, he catches the ball that seals the Bulls victory in their first playoff game.  Woo hoo!  Go, Waldren!

A lot happened but, in typical 1st & Ten fashion, none of it added up to much.  It could be because the streaming episodes were edited for syndication but this is just a weird show.  Every episode feels as if their huge chunks of plot missing.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 2.7 “Yinessa’s Interview”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

The Bulls are in the playoffs!

Episode 2.7 “Yinessa’s Interview”

(Dir by Burt Brinckerhoff, originally aired on December 30th, 1986)

Last week, training camp finally ended.

This week, the Bulls are in the playoffs!

Wow, we skipped the entire regular season.  Well, that’s okay.  It was obvious from the start that the Bulls were going to make it to the playoffs so why hold off on the inevitable?  Tom Yinessa has led the Bulls to a spot in the Wildcard and woo hoo!

The only problem is that Yinessa hasn’t had time to get laid.  When he does try to make time for Christy (Betsy Russell) — who I guess is his new girlfriend because she wasn’t his girlfriend an episode ago — they are interrupted by reporter Donna Starkey (Brianne Leary), who needs to finish up her interview with Yinessa.  Christy leaves angry but then she returns to make up for Yinessa, just to discover him on the verge of fooling around with Donna.

While all of this is going, the other team tries to fool the Bulls by sending them a fake playbook.  Coach Denardo thinks that it’s genuine but T.D. Parker is like, “I’ll kill you if you use that playbook!  I’ve done it before!”  Also a woman tells Jethro that he’s the father of her son.  Jethro is skeptical but he agrees to get a paternity test.

Donna writes an article about how Yinessa is an unimpressive quarterback.  But the Bulls still win their playoff game by relying on defense.  Mad Dog Smears angrily notes that reporters never want to interview anyone defense …. wait a minute, where’s Dr. Death?  Seeing as how the defense wins the game, this seems like a weird episode not to feature Dr. Death.

The Bulls win their game but Yinessa no longer has a girlfriend.  Womp womp.

This episode was weirdly unsubstantial.  It may be because of how the episodes have been edited for syndication to remove all of the nudity and cursing but 1st & Ten never seems to be able to develop any sort of narrative momentum.  Instead of each episode building towards something, it’s usually just 20 minutes of random events that never seem to really be tied together.  One could say the same thing of life in general, I suppose.

This is my final 1st & Ten review of 2025.  Retro Television Reviews is taken a break for the holidays but this feature will return in January.  My next 1st & Ten review will be on January 7th, 2026.

Horror Film Review: Dogs (dir by Burt Brinckerhoff)


I’ll admit it right now.  I’ve never really been a dog person.

That’s the way it’s been my entire life.  According to my sisters, I was bitten by a dog when I was two years old.  Needless to say, I don’t remember that happening but that still might explain why, when I was growing up, I was scared to death of dogs.  Seriously, if I was outside and I heard a dog barking or if I saw a dog running around loose (or even on a leash), I would immediately start shaking.  It didn’t help that, for some reason, I always seemed to run into the big dogs that wanted to jump and slobber all over me.  (“Don’t be scared,” one dog owner shouted at me, “that’ll just make him more wild,” as if it was somehow my responsibility to keep his dog under control.)

Then there was that time when was I was ten and I was visiting Lake Texoma with my family.  There was another family there and they had a big black dog with them.  When I first saw him, the dog was very friendly.  He ran up to me and, tentatively and with my sisters standing beside me for moral support, I even patted his head,.  He seemed so nice!  Finally, I had met a dog that didn’t scare me.  My family was really happy.  We went down to the lake and everyone told me how proud they were that I had managed to face a dog without running away.  As we came back from the lake, I saw the dog laying down next to his family’s van.  I smiled at the sight of him.  He raised his head, looked at me, and started to growl.  He wasn’t growling at my sisters or my parents.  He was growling at me.  Terrified, I went over to my family’s car and I ducked down behind it.  I could hear my Dad telling the dog to stop and then I heard the loudest barking and saw the dog running towards me.  I jumped in the car and locked the doors.  The dog’s owners eventually grabbed their dog and took him back to their van.  They said that I probably looked like someone who had been mean to it a few weeks earlier.  One thing that they did not really do was apologize.  Instead, they just made me feel like it was somehow my fault.  They didn’t seem sympathetic when my Mom explained that I was terrified of dogs.  When they realized my Dad was on the verge of punching someone, they retreated to their van and quickly left.  At that time, I decided that 1) I would never trust another dog and that 2) dog owners are the most selfish people on the planet.  I know that sounds harsh but seriously, I was traumatized!

As I grew up, I mellowed a bit.  I met nice dog owners who actually made the effort to control their pets.  I even met some friendly dogs and slowly realized that not all of them were going to try to kill me.  I became less scared of dogs but they still definitely make me nervous.  I still cringe when listening to the barking and I still reflexively step back whenever I see a big dog anywhere near me.  Now that I know more about dogs, I have to admit that I feel a little bit guilty about not liking them more.  Knowing that dogs actually blame themselves for me not liking them is kind of heart-breaking and I have been making more of an effort to be, if nothing else, at least polite to the canines who lives in the neighborhood.  That said, I’m a cat person and I’ll always be cat person.  Cats don’t care if you like them or not nor do they blame themselves if you’re in a bad mood, which is lot less of an emotional responsibility to deal with.

1977’s Dogs is a film that seems like it was especially made to give people like me nightmares.  It’s a pretty simple movie.  At a college in Southern California, the students and the faculty find themselves under siege from a bunch of dogs that have been driven mad by pheromones being sprayed into the atmosphere by a nearby, top secret government experiment.  Two professors (David McCallum and George Wyner) attempt to convince everyone to evacuate the college and the town but, in typical Jaws fashion, no one wants to admit the truth about what’s happening.  By the end, nearly everyone is dead (and the final scene of all the dead bodies spread across campus is genuinely haunting) and the cats are starting to hiss at humans.

Dogs is a low-budget drive-in flick but it’s still a frightening film, largely because the dogs are relentless and the victims may be largely stupid but they’re all stupid in realistic ways.  A group of college students is told to wait inside until George Wyner comes back for them but Wyner takes so long in returning that the terrified students decide to make a run for it themselves.  It doesn’t end well but it’s the sort of thing that I can actually imagine happening.  No one likes being told to wait and, with no idea of what’s actually going on, making a run for it might actually seem like as good an idea as any.  Even when the movie recreates the Psycho shower scene (with dogs instead of Norman Bates), it’s far more effective than it perhaps has any right to be.

Would this film be as effective from the point of view of someone who doesn’t have a history of being scared of dogs?  It’s a legitimate question.  Dogs aren’t like sharks.  Most people like dogs.  But when they’re barking and growling and determined to bite your throat, they can be pretty scary!  I’ll just say that Dogs is a film that seemed to be uniquely designed to give me nightmares.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Good Morning Miss Bliss 1.12 “Clubs and Cliques”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Good Morning, Miss Bliss, which ran on the Disney Channel from 1988 to 1989 before then moving to NBC and being renamed Saved By The Bell.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Miss Bliss takes over the school.

Episode 1.12 “Clubs and Cliques”

(Dir by Burt Brinckerhoff, originally aired on March 11th, 1989)

Mr. Belding is teaching Miss Bliss’s class!

Why?

Well, the answer doesn’t make much sense but here it is.  The School Board has ordered Belding to name one of the teachers as an “assistant principal” who can be in charge whenever he’s out of the building.  Most schools just hire an assistant principal but whatever.  Maybe this is an Indiana thing.  Since there are only three teachers to choose from and one of them is the mad scientist who wanted to force Nikki to dissect a frog, Mr. Belding goes with Miss Bliss.  But, before Miss Bliss can officially have the job, she has to serve as a principal for a week.  Belding covers her class.

At first, Mr. Belding is nervous.  But, by the end of the class period, he’s thrilled.  He tells Miss Bliss that he thinks he did a wonderful job and that the kids really got something out of it.

“Mr. Belding,” Miss Bliss replies, “it’s only homeroom.”

Okay, I’m just going to say it …. WHAT A BITCH!  Seriously, how condescending can one person be?  This is who you want to make principal?  Is this how you motivate people?  Again, this is why I cannot stand Miss Bliss.  Seriously, if anyone ever said that to her — “It’s only homeroom,” — she would have rightly been offended.

(Then again, I have to wonder whether or not Mr. Belding’s ever taught a class before.  This episode seems to imply that he hasn’t.  Was that a common thing with principals back in the 80s?)

Miss Bliss has a lot to deal with because it’s pledge week.  Apparently, the coolest club at JFK Middle School is the Rigma club and Zach has been told by Rick (J. Trevor Edmond) and Trevor (Christopher Carter) that he can wear a Rigma jacket if he’s mean to all of his friends.  Zach calls Lisa’s parents and let them know that she wears makeup in school.  He throws ice cream at Nikki’s sweater.  He reveals that Mikey has a crush.  He calls Screech a “nothing.”  He loses all of his friends and then he finds out that he wasn’t even being considered for Rigma membership.  Instead, it was all a big joke on the part of Rick and Trevor.

Now, to give credit where credit is due, Mark-Paul Gosselaar did a pretty good job playing up Zach’s regret after he realized he had lost all of his friends for nothing.  The episode is interesting because it shows a side of Zach that would totally disappear over the course of Saved By The Bell.  In this episode, Zach is insecure and desperate to belong.  By the time Saved By The Bell really got going, it had been established that Zach had no insecurities and was automatically loved by everyone he met.  Insecure Zach is infinitely more compelling but a bit less fun than confident Zach.  Watching this episode, it’s hard to believe we’re watching the same Zach Morris who will eventually lie about a being a descendant of Chief Joseph.

Things work out in the end.  His friends forgive Zach.  Even more importantly, Miss Bliss gets in trouble for not calling and asking for permission from the Board of Education before giving everyone everything they wanted.  “She’s not perfect,” Belding chuckles.  You got that right, Mr. Belding!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Good Morning Miss Bliss 1.11 “Stevie”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Good Morning, Miss Bliss, which ran on the Disney Channel from 1988 to 1989 before then moving to NBC and being renamed Saved By The Bell.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This is perhaps the dumbest episode of this show yet.

Episode 1.11 “Stevie”

(Dir by Burt Brinckerhoff, originally aired March 4th, 1989)

The world’s most popular pop singer (Suzanna Tara) is performing at her old middle school, JFK Junior High!  The world knows her as Stevie but Miss Bliss still calls her “Colleen Morton.”  Since Colleen/Stevie’s parents are no longer living in Indiana, Miss Bliss suggests that Stevie should stay with her.  Stevie agrees because, when you’re a millionaire who can literally stay anywhere, why wouldn’t you want to stay with a condescending middle school teacher?

During her concert, Stevie will be singing to one student who will join her on stage.  Zach wants to be that student, especially since he’s made a bet that he’ll kiss Stevie before the week ends.  Zach sends Stevie a letter, claiming to be terminally ill.  Stevie is touched.  Mr. Belding is touched.  Miss Bliss sees right through Zach and exposes him for being a liar.

When Zach goes to Miss Bliss’s house to apologize, he meets Colleen.  Like Zach, Colleen is also a damn liar and claims to be Miss Bliss’s niece.  Zach and Colleen talk about how Stevie is retiring to go to college.  Zach thinks that is crazy and I agree.  Colleen kisses Zach on the cheek.

Later, watching Stevie sing to Screech, Zach realizes who she is.  “I kissed Stevie!” he shouts.  Nikki tells him to get bent.

This was an annoying episode.  I could buy the idea of Stevie wanting to perform at her old high school but seriously, who would ever want to return to middle school?  Who remembers their middle school teachers?  Who would want to stay with Miss Bliss?  Add to that, this was yet another episode of Good Morning Miss Bliss that was so poorly lit that I almost went blind from the glare of Mark-Paul Gosselaar’s hair.

This whole thing was just dumb.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Good Morning, Miss Bliss 1.9 “Let’s Get Together”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Good Morning, Miss Bliss, which ran on the Disney Channel from 1988 to 1989 before then moving to NBC and being renamed Saved By The Bell.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, the kids learn yet another lesson about conflict resolution.

Episode 1.9 “Let’s Get Together”

(Dir by Burt Brinckerhoff, originally aired on February 18th, 1989)

After Ms. Palladino (Joan Ryan) is kicked out of her apartment by her boyfriend, she temporarily moves in with Miss Bliss.  It doesn’t go well.  Ms. Palladino is messy and quirky and accident-prone.  Miss Bliss is British.  Can these two friends figure out how to live together?

Meanwhile, Nikki and Zach have been assigned to work on a class project but they’re suddenly not getting along.  They have to convince Miss Bliss that the telephone is a worthwhile invention.  (Miss Bliss plays the role of a skeptical pilgrim.)  Nikki wants to use a bunch of charts to make her point.  Zach pretends to call Nikki on the phone and apologizes to her for not being a good friend.  It’s extremely awkward to watch, despite the fact that Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Heather Hopper both pour their hearts into the scene.  Actually, maybe that’s why it’s so awkward to watch.  Imagine being a student, trapped in that classroom and forced to listen to Zach and Nikki work out their differences.  Miss Bliss give them an A and decides to stop being such a bitch to Ms. Palladino.  Good for her!

This episode probably would have been more effective if we hadn’t already been subjected to an episode where Mickey and Zach get into a disagreement and then talk about their friendship while the entire school watches.  This episode felt like a do-over.  I also found it curious that all the students apparently knew that Miss Bliss and Ms. Palladino were living together and not getting along.  First off, why would the students know this and secondly, why would the students cares?

I’m starting to think that Good Morning Miss Bliss was not a realistic portrayal of the Indiana middle school experience.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Good Morning Miss Bliss 1.4 “Leaping to Conclusions”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Good Morning, Miss Bliss, which ran on the Disney Channel from 1988 to 1989 before then moving to NBC and being renamed Saved By The Bell.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Miss Bliss knows everything.

Episode 1.4 “Leaping To Conclusions”

(Dir by Burt Brinckerhoff, originally aired on December 21st, 1988)

It’s time to dissect a frog for Biology class!  Nikki (Heather Hopper) doesn’t believe in animal dissection and is especially upset that the frogs are currently still alive and living in a box with “LIVE ANIMALS” written on it.

Mr. Morton (Deryl Carroll), the crazed science teacher, doesn’t care about Nikki’s objections.  However, Miss Bliss, the school busybody, definitely does.  Miss Bliss tells Nikki to follow her conscience.  Nikki steals the “LIVE ANIMALS” box and sets all of the frogs free in a nearby creek and probably ruins Indiana’s ecosystem.

Morton’s angry but Mr. Belding lets Nikki go with a warning because Mr. Belding is convinced that a private academy is trying to recruit Miss Bliss.  Belding spends the entire episode giving Miss Bliss anything she asks for — a new globe, money for a field trip, a new projector — while the rest of the teachers receive nothing.  When Miss Bliss discovers that Belding went through her mail and saw she had received a letter from a private academy, Miss Bliss does her usual, “Mr. Belding, you stupid little American,” routine.  Belding laughs and then redistributes all of the gifts that he previously gave Miss Bliss.  Miss Bliss is not amused because, seriously, why should any other teacher have a new projector?  Everyone knows the world revolves around Miss Bliss.

As for Nikki, she steals the replacement frogs but then returns them, saying that it’s not fair for her to take away everyone else’s right to dissect a frog.  So, Nikki really didn’t have any problem with the frogs being killed.  She just didn’t want to be the one to do it.  Mr. Morton says he will have to fail Nikki.  Miss Bliss says that Nikki can just use a computer program to simulate dissecting a frog and you have to wonder why Miss Bliss is the one making that decision because it’s not even her class!

Seriously, Miss Bliss is the worst.  That said, I wouldn’t want to dissect a frog either.  That’s one reason why I lost respect for Nikki when she brought the frogs back.  When you believe that strongly in something, you don’t turn back.

 

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Good Morning Miss Bliss 1.3 “Wall Street”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Good Morning, Miss Bliss, which ran on the Disney Channel from 1988 to 1989 before then moving to NBC and being renamed Saved By The Bell.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Miss Bliss makes the mistake of trusting her students.  Zach Morris also learns a lesson about the Stock Market.  Mr. Belding learns better than to try to be nice to Miss Bliss.  It’s quite an episode!

Episode 1.3 “Wall Street”

(Dir by Burt Brinckerhoff, originally aired on December 14th, 1988)

Mr. Belding is concerned.  Miss Bliss is teaching her class a lesson about Wall Street.  Each of her students has donated $2 and the money has been used to buy a safe and dependable stock.  Belding doesn’t think that it’s good for the students to invest real money but, as usual, Miss Bliss just smirks away his worries.

However, Zach needs $300 to pay for a video camera that he damaged.  With the help of his friend Mickey (Max Battimo), Zach breaks into the classroom, gets on the computer, and invests the class’s money in potatoes.  He buys the stock on margin.  So, of course, when the stock tanks, Miss Bliss ends up owing $1,500.

“You just cost me my new car!” Miss Bliss angrily exclaims.

What car was Miss Bliss going to buy for $1,500?  It sounds like maybe they did Miss Bliss a favor, to be honest.

Miss Bliss gets angry and storms out of her classroom.  Mr. Belding comforts her and tells her that she’s a good teacher.  He jokes that something even worse will probably happen in the future.  Miss Bliss snaps that he should have just said, “I told you so.”

This exchange between Mr. Belding and Miss Bliss gets right to the heart of why I can’t stand Miss Bliss.  Mr. Belding is trying to help.  He compliments her.  He tells her that this sort of thing happen to every teacher.  He attempts to lighten the mood with a joke.  And Miss Bliss snaps at him.  Miss Bliss is someone who has no problem dismissing everyone else’s problems but, once something goes wrong for her, the entire world is supposed to stop.  Mr. Belding didn’t say “I told you so,” because Mr. Belding isn’t a condescending know-it-all, unlike a certain teacher who no longer afford a new car.

I liked this episode.  The overwhelming smugness of Miss Bliss meets the overwhelming self-absorption of Zach Morris.  The end result is Miss Bliss doesn’t get a car but she does get a bag of potatoes.  Miss Bliss even forgives her students for stealing from her.  To be honest, Zach is in the 8th Grade and most 8th Graders know better.  Add to that, Zach sneaks into the school to buy those potatoes.  Again, this is not typical 8th Grade behavior.  It might be time to get this kid some professional help because God knows what he’s going to be like when he reaches high school….

Late Night Retro Television Review: Good Morning, Miss Bliss 1.2 “Love Letters”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Good Morning, Miss Bliss, which ran on the Disney Channel from 1988 to 1989 before then moving to NBC and being renamed Saved By The Bell.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week …. well, it’s all really stupid.

Episode 1.2 “Love Letters”

(Dir by Burt Brinkerhoff, originally aired on December 7th, 1988)

Miss Bliss thinks that Mr. Belding has sent her a love letter!  Mr. Belding thinks Miss Bliss had sent him a love letter!  Much awkwardness follows.  Of course, the truth is that they both have a love letter that Zach wrote to Lisa (the character, not me) on behalf of Screech.  Screech, meanwhile, writes Zach’s term paper on the War of 1812, which is probably the easiest war to write a paper on.  I mean, if Zach can’t handle the War of 1812 on his own, he really is doomed.

This was a dumb episode, one that was later remade as an episode of Saved By The Bell during the infamous Tori season.  The remake even went as far as to have Zach write a love note to Lisa for Screech and Mr. Belding and another teacher thinking that the note was written for them.  Somehow, no one stopped and said, “Hey, hasn’t this happened before?”  The remake was just as dumb as the original.

I will say this.  Dustin Diamond is actually …. dare I say it? …. likable in this episode.  Watching this episode, I could actually understand why Diamond was at the center of so many early episodes of Saved By The Bell because it appears that, before he started doing the squeaky, cartoonish voice thing and got totally typecast as the most annoying person on the planet, Dustin Diamond actually was a good child actor.  There’s a sincere sweetness to his crush on Lisa in this episode.  It’s quite a contrast to the deranged stalker that he would later become.

I should also note, for Saved By The Bell historians, this episode is the first to establish that Screech has a crush on Lisa and that Lisa, who is kind of mean in this episode, wishes that Screech would get lost.  At the start of the episode, Lisa stuffs Screech in a locker.  That seems a bit extreme to me.  It’s always struck me as strange how the people on these shows were always getting stuffed into lockers.  I went to a lot of different schools when I was growing up and I never once saw that happen to anyone.  And yet, on Saved By The Bell and a host of other Peter Engel-produced sitcoms, it’s like a daily occurrence.  I would think that it can’t be healthy to be stuffed in a locker.  I can’t imagine the air quality is very good inside one of those metal caskets.

This episode also presents Screech and Zach as not being the childhood friends that Saved By The Bell later presented them as being.  (Indeed, Screech mentions that no one will believe that he and Zach are actually friends.)  Then again, this episode also takes place in Indiana instead of California so I guess it’s best not to worry too much about continuity.

On the How Condescending Is Miss Bliss scale, this episode score a solid 7 out of 10.  She wasn’t anywhere near as a condescending as she would be in some of her later episodes but her comment when Mr. Belding asks her for the identity of the person who actually wrote the letter — “Why should I tell you?  You just dumped me.” — pushes the score up to a 7.

Next week, Miss Bliss loses a lot of money when she stupidly allows the kids to invest it.  What a terrible teacher.  We’ll see what happens!