A Few Final Thoughts On The Oscar Ceremony


Parasite made history and Bong Joon-ho proved himself to be one of the most charming people alive.  That was the best thing about Sunday night’s Oscar ceremony.

Yes, Joaquin Phoenix and Renee Zellweger did ramble on a bit in their acceptance speeches but ….. I can’t complain.  They’re both so sincere in their spaciness that you can’t help but be a little bit charmed by them.  Plus, Renee’s a Texas Girl so I’ve got her back.

The show itself was incredibly dull. It was nice to see so many deserving winners but, beyond Parasite making history at the very end, there really weren’t any huge moments.  There were no major fashion disasters.  The speeches were all pretty much gracious.  It was the way an awards ceremony should be but let’s be honest.  One reason we watch award shows is so to see rich and famous people screw up.  When that doesn’t happen, it just turns into a bunch of people patting themselves on the back.

Best Documentary Feature went to American Factory.  The best documentary of the year was Apollo 11, which wasn’t even nominated.  The documentary’s director called on the workers of the world to unite and it felt as vacuous as 70s-era Godard.

Brad Pitt finally won an Oscar for acting.  (He already has one for producing.)  My hope was that he would drop to one knee, produce a ring, and ask Jennifer Aniston to marry him again.  Instead, he gave kind of a boring speech.  Those of us who were hoping that stoner Brad Pitt would show up tonight were a bit disappointed.  Brad shaved and washed his hair before the ceremony and was basically on his best behavior.

This was the 2nd year in a row that show didn’t have a host and …. eh.  I enjoyed it when they went hostless last year but this year, the show felt like a formless mess.  There was no one to steer the ship or to set the mood and, as a result, the ceremony felt somewhat directionless.

I get that we’re supposed to get excited whenever any former SNL cast member shows up to present an award but I always instinctively cringe whenever Will Ferrell or Maya Rudolph step out on stage.  Both of them are such attention hogs that their arrival usually means that the show is going to come to a dead halt while they run a joke into the ground.  This year, Ferrell wasn’t quite as bad as usual but Rudolph had me totally cringing.  Speaking of stage hogs, I was actually surprised at how quickly Rebel Wilson and James Corden got through their bit.  I assume they wanted to hurry up and get backstage so they could get out of their cat costumes.  (Just imagine — Rebel Wilson actually had an important supporting role in one of the best picture nominees but, instead of celebrating that, the Academy made her put on her cat costume.)

Billie Eilish won the night with her reactions to …. well, everything.

As I said, this year’s ceremony was dull.  Beyond Parasite winning and making history, this was probably the most boring ceremony since 2010.  Interestingly enough, history was made there as well, when Kathryn Bigelow won Best Director.  Why do good things always happen during boring broadcasts?

So, for next year, I hope we’ll see a return of a host, a return of tone deaf fashion choices, and hopefully a few undeserving winners, at least enough to liven up the ceremony a little.

For now, though, congratulations to the cast and crew of Parasite on winning Best Picture and making history, all in the same night!  Woo hoo!

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, S3,Ep1, “The Hellbound Heart” (Dir. Rob Seidenglanz)


sabrina

Welcome to horrorth….Wait a minute, it’s not October….it’s …February?  Yes.  Chilling Adventures of Sabrina is like a failed marriage, aging football player, or your dad posting a video on YouTube; it should’ve stopped awhile ago.  Kiernan Shipka is a great actress, but it’s like she’s been shackled to the Detroit Tigers.  It doesn’t help that the director Rob Seidenglanz could make the Titanic sinking feel like watching C-Span.

The entire episode from the Party City inspired costumes to the bad middle school sets to the pedestrian camera angles….it was just awful.  Although I do like seeing a Lead Character as a self-centered incompetent, it’s refreshing and accurate for life.  Am I going to watch and review this season? Of course I will, but I will be sharing the pain with Lisa who will review episodes 3-6. We may even do another Livetweet … Fingers Crossed!

We left off last season with Nick trapping the devil inside his brain and got carried off to Hell to save humanity.  Well, I guess to heck with all that heroism because Sabrina misses her boyfriend and she REALLY doesn’t care about anything or anyone else.

First, going to take Nick out of Hell, puts everyone at risk who is strong-armed into going with her on this unnecessary adventure. Second, if they get Nick back and he dies, Lucifer is unleashed upon our world.  Third, I don’t need a third; this is dumb.

Sabrina decides that she wants to go to Hell and get Nick out. Fine. She of course does the reasonable thing and just takes herself into Hell and doesn’t risk her friends lives.  No, she risks everyone: Harvey, Theo, and Rosalind.  Side Note: Rosalind was blind for a while, but can see now…that’s weird.  Sabrina pushes her friends around and then they agree to go to Hell with her.  One note, the second Sabrina isn’t around all of her friends they start singing and start a band.  They need to read some self-help books about toxic friends.

The group goes into hell and it really looks like a British Columbia beach. They run into Theo’s uncle who’s being tortured in Hell. Of course, Sabrina insists that they stop and help Theo’s uncle. NO, Sabrina’s an Owner of Lonely Heart and she’s gotta get Nick back or there’s gonna be trouble hey na hey na. During the journey, we see that Lilith is ruling Hell in a Party City outfit and 10 dollar crown.  For some reason, Lilith is angry at Sabrina and it’s not clear why.  There’s also this boring intrigue competition for the throne of hell and can you blame them?! It’s British Columbia beach front!!!!

Sabrina confronts Lilith… because I just don’t know why. Sigh. Sabrina ascends to the Hell Throne – I’m assuming that’s what it’s called.  However, Sabrina is just going to run Hell part-time like an Uber side-hustle because she’s got debate team, mathletes, and 4H; so, this is the LAST extra-curricular. Period.  Lilith will advise Sabrina in her part-time Hell-gig.  This is the best of the worst: Sabrina gets Nick out of hell and them…. puts him in a … dungeon. Yep, after all that, she puts him in a dungeon.  Fine. There’s a lot of exposition that there’s some “Old Ones” coming to town and I keep thinking it’s going to be Wilford Brimley.  Maybe, Sabrina will come down with Dia-beetus? Beach party

A Blast From The Past: Robert Opel Crashes The 1974 Oscars


On April 2nd, 1974, just as David Niven was about to introduce Elizabeth Taylor so that she could announce that The Sting had won Best Picture of the year, the Oscar telecast was interrupted by a naked man running across the stage.

The streaker was a man named Robert Opel.  A former student activist who had reportedly briefly worked as a speechwriter for future President Ronald Reagan, Opel was employed as a teacher when he made his Oscar debut.  He lost his job as a result but he found a new fame as a professional streaker.  He also went on to open his own photography business and ran for President in 1976.  His slogan was reportedly, “Not Just Another Crooked Dick.”  Five years after making his television debut, the 39 year-old Opel was murdered in his apartment.

There’s some debate as to whether or not this was actually a spontaneous moment.  It’s been reported that Niven wrote down his famous quip about short comings during a rehearsal.  It’s also interesting to note that the camera seemed to be perfectly positioned to not catch anything that could actually get the broadcast fined by the FCC.  If this had been truly a spontaneous event, I’m not sure that would have been the case.

Anyway, that was 1974 for you.  Who knows what might happen tonight?

(Of course, there’s no host so, if something does happen, there won’t be any quips.  Oh well.)

 

Scenes That I Love: The Opening Of The Very First Televised Oscar Ceremony


Today, we take it for granted that the Oscars will always be on television in February or March of every year.  We know that they will be broadcast on ABC on Sunday night.  We also know that there’s a good chance that, every year, some clueless TV exec will try to do something to ruin our annual tradition.  Whether it’s the idea of introducing an award for Best Popular Film or maybe suggesting that some awards should be given off camera, we know better than to trust ABC.

However, for the first 25 years of the Academy’s existence, the Oscars were not televised.  In fact, for a while, they weren’t even broadcast on the radio because it was assumed that no one outside of Hollywood cared about them.  It really wasn’t until the mid-30s that the Oscars became an annual ritual for so many Americans.  At first, people listened to the ceremony on the radio and then eventually, the ceremony came to television.

The first Oscar telecast was on March 19th, 1953.  The ceremony was split between two locations, Hollywood and New York.  Bob Hope hosted in Hollywood while Conrad Nagel and Fredric March hosted in New York.  The ceremony didn’t start until 10:30 pm and it ran for two hours and 20 minutes.  Why the late start?  Several of the nominees were also appearing in Broadway shows and they had to finish their nightly performances before they could attend the ceremony.

As for why this ceremony was telecast — well, as always, it all comes down to money.  The Academy needed the money that came from selling the broadcast rights to NBC.  (NBC, to their credit, did not demand an award for Best Popular Film.)  The show was such a ratings success that it led to the annual tradition that we all know and love today.

What won at the first televised ceremony?  The Greatest Show On Earth won Best Picture while John Ford took home Best Director (for The Quiet Man) and Gary Cooper was named Best Actor for High Noon.  Shirley Booth was named Best Actress for Come Back, Little Sheba.  The supporting awards went to Anthony Quinn for Viva Zapata! and Gloria Grahame for The Bad and the Beautiful.

Here is the opening of the very first televised Oscar ceremony.  As you can tell, it was quite a bit different from what we’re used to today!

 

Lisa’s Top 6 Super Bowl Commercials


So, as far as this year’s Super Bowl was concerned, the commercials were disappointing.  I mean, sure, we got a few movie trailers that looked really good.  I’m super excited for Black Widow and Mulan, not to mention Hunters and WandaVision. 

But, otherwise, it was a pretty forgettable year for commercials.  I mean, I guess we should be glad that, for the most part, we didn’t have any gigantic corporations trying to sell themselves as being woke crusaders.  (We did get that one beer commercial that had to include clips of people at a protest mark because that’s definitely something you want to do while your drunk off your ass.  Why are beer commercials always so pompous?)  With the exception of one well-meaning but rather creepy spot for Google, there also weren’t any disturbingly morbid commercials like that one from a few years back where the TV crushed the child.  There was also a definite lack of grotesque commercials.  There was no Puppy Monkey Baby or whatever the Hell that thing was.

Instead, the majority of the commercials were kind of tasteful and a little bit dull.  There was one commercial where Martin Scorsese invited Jonah Hill to a party and that would have been fun if Jonah Hill hadn’t looked so depressed.  I was like worried about him the entire time I was watching the commercial.  And then there was another one where Ellen DeGeneres wondered what people did before Alexa and that would have been a funny commercial if not for the fact that it felt like it went on for like an hour.  There was a Facebook commercial where Sylvester Stallone beat up Chris Rock for some reason.  And, of course, there was a Mike Bloomberg commercial because there’s always a Mike Bloomberg commercial.

Anyway, usually I do a top ten list after every Super Bowl but this year, I’m just doing my top six because that’s the type of year it was.  As I said previously, my favorite commercials were for Black Widow and Disney+ but, since I already shared those on this site, I will not be listing them below.

In other words, here’s the best of the rest:

6. Cheetos

I liked this commercial because it was basically the opposite of all of those incredibly pompous beer commercials where they act like their product is going to save the world.  Instead, Cheetos proudly announced, “Buy our product and you’ll never have to help anyone again!  And really, let’s be honest.  The world is not full of people who want to help you move.  The world is full of people looking for an excuse to say, “Sorry, can’t do it.”  This commercial is for them.

5. Mr. Peanut

Seriously, Baby Nut is freaking adorable.

4. Mountain Dew

Bryan Cranston as Jack Torrance?  Hey, it works.  To be honest, even if not for Cranston’s cheerfully demented performance, this video would have worked just for the final shot of the elevator.

3. Hard Rock Hotel

A lot of people on twitter didn’t care much for this commercial because …. well, I’m not sure what their problem was.  I thought it was fun.

2. Tide

I enjoyed all of Tide’s Super Bowl commercials, mostly just because Charlie Day is adorable.  I was a little bit annoyed when they tricked me into thinking that I was about see a new commercial for Wonder Woman 1984 but, even in that case, I have to give them credit for taking me by surprise.  Tide should definitely use Charlie Day in all of their commercials and get rid of that boring couple talking about “the funk.”

  1. Jeep

From the minute I heard about this commercial, I knew it would probably end up being my favorite of the night and it turns out that it was.  Usually, I hate Jeep commercials because they tend to be almost as pompous as beer commercials but how can you resist Bill Murray and Phil?

Happy Super Bowl Sunday, everyone!  I hope your team won.  And if they didn’t, I hope they win next year.  And if they don’t …. well, maybe look for a new team.  I don’t know.  Football’s not really my thing.  I do like the commercials, though.

Congratulations To The Super Bowl 54 Champions, the Kansas City Chiefs!


Congratulations to the Kansas City Chiefs on their amazing come from behind victory in the Super Bowl tonight!  I thought that the 49ers had it all wrapped up until the final six minutes of the game when the Chiefs came alive and scored two touchdowns, giving them a 31-20 victory and their first Super Bowl title in 50 years!  It was a great game.

And now that the football season is over with, bring on baseball!

The Universe Is Expanding: Here’s The Super Bowl Disney+ MCU Trailer!


The universe is expanding!

Out of the three shows that are featured in the teaser below, it’s the one with Wanda and Vision that most interests me.  I can’t wait to see what happens with those two characters.  And, of course, there’s no way I couldn’t smile a little when Loki popped up.  His death in Infinity War depressed me almost as much as Black Widow’s death in Endgame.

Here’s The Super Bowl Spot For Hunters!


Hunters is a show that I’m very much looking forward to.  Al Pacino hunting down Nazi war criminals?  Seriously, how can you not want to see that?  Here’s the Super Bowl spot for Hunters, which is definitely intriguing.  I like the contrast between the placid surface of suburbia and the truth lurking right underneath the surface.

The first episode of Hunters will drop on February 21st!

6 Good Things That Lisa Marie Saw On Television in 2019


It’s going to be a short list this year but that’s okay.

  1. Chernobyl — This miniseries about the Chernobyl disaster was both engrossing and horrifying.
  2. Unbelievable — This Netflix miniseries was important viewing.  Kaitlyn Dever gives one of the bravest and most honest performances of the year.
  3. The Finale of Veep — The best comedy on television went out on a high note.  Selina got what she wanted and she lost everything as a result.  Veep took a look at our leaders and showed us that, for the most part, they’re just as venal and screwed up as the rest of us.
  4. Barry — Without a doubt, one of the best shows to come along in a while.  The adventure of Barry, hitman-turned-actor, continue to fascinate.  Great work from Bill Hader, Henry Winkler, Stephen Root, Sarah Goldberg, and Anthony Carrigan.
  5. Tulsi Gabbard destroys Kamala Harris’s Presidential Campaign During The Democratic Primary Debate — There was just something very gratifying about watching a self-described “top tier candidate” get taken down by someone who the media previously attempted to dismiss.
  6. Colin and Christie finally won The Amazing Race — Yay!

The Perfection, Review By Case Wright


perfection

Let me begin by writing that I love watching Netflix and I REALLY love livetweeting with Lisa and the rest of the Shattered Lens staff. We can coordinate times well and it’s easy to sync up.  This time, I was given the movie choosing authority and perhaps it will be my last.  I heard that The Perfection was a bit gory, but I figured come on, this is Shattered Lens- we Rocktober the October over here with our Horrorthon!  When I saw that Steven Weber was in it, I felt like ok, this is going to be like a Tales From the Crypt experience.  Well……….not so much.

The Perfection has trashy components to it and some cheaply built sets and the director REALLY wants you to know that they splurged and actually filmed in China! The best way to describe The Perfection is as an unaware, pretentious, and boring episode of Tales From the Crypt.  It had the victim goes to victimizer TFTC theme and the over the top gore, but it was always trying to be serious and important when it was just an overly long TFTC episode without any humor.

The plot is pretty straight-forward: Charlotte is a prodigy Cellist who left her art to care for her dying mother for ten-years.  When she tries to return to her life, she finds that a younger classmate Lizzy has attained the Cello fame that she sought.  She sees her old Mentor Anton (Steven Weber) and Charlotte is now the clear has-been.  Charlotte executes a plan to destroy Lizzy forever.  Charlotte meets Lizzy, seduces Lizzy, drugs Lizzy, and convinces Lizzy to chop her hand off.  Yep, another Hollywood girl meets girl, girl drugs girl, girl gets girl to chop her hand off story.  The Perfection was actually the original script for Love Actually.  The “To Me You Are Perfect” scene was just going to be Andrew Lincoln throwing severed hands at people – “To Me you are a perfect…Target” *throws hand at Juliet*.

Just when you think this movie will be a fun version of Black Swan it takes a turn for the dumb, gross.  Yes, I get that this was made by a post-Weinstein Miramax and it was showing how fame could encourage and condone horrible behavior, but it was done with so much exposition that it really caused the film to jerk from long explanations to gore and long explanations to gore and long explanations to trying a Subway Cold Cut Combo – even terrible movies get hungry.

I’m not sure if I should spoil this piece of trash or not.  It’s really not worth your time. Instead of watching this film you could eat a sandwich, do your taxes, plot revenge. However, it is nice to see that Steven Weber is still working – there’s that.