How about a little adventure?
Today’s song of the day, from 1938’s The Adventures of Robin Hood:
So, get to know it.
Enjoy!
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.
Let’s start season two of this stupid show!
Episode 2.1 “Lights Out”
(Dir by Terrence O’Hara, originally aired on August 17th, 1996)
It’s time for season 2 of Pacific Blue!
Elvis, the mechanic played by David L. Lander, is no longer a member of the cast but the rest of the ensemble is there and still trying to convince us that they’re real cops despite the fact that they ride bicycles and wear shorts. The episode opens with Palermo telling everyone that they have new bicycles. In fact, it’s the same type of bicycles that are used by the Secret Service!
See, the show tells us, bicycle cops aren’t dorky!
Okay, Pacific Blue, whatever, It’s the start of the second season and you’re still trying to justify your existence.
A mad bomber named Wilson Dupree (Robin Sachs) is planting bombs all over …. Malibu? Santa Barbara? Where does this show take place again? Anyway, we know that Wilson is a bad guy because he speaks with a British accent. Whenever he plants a bomb, he calls ahead and specifically asks for someone from the bike patrol to come and defuse it. Why is Wilson picking on the bike patrol? Hey, who wouldn’t? The bike patrol is dorky as Heck!
TC and Victor are soon finding bombs. TC and Victor turn out to be rather incompetent when it comes to defusing bombs. A lifeguard tower explodes. A car explodes. There’s an unintentionally funny scene where the entire bike patrol chases after a taxi that they’ve been informed is carrying a bomb. Wouldn’t it have made more sense to call the real cops so that they could send a patrol car with its lights flashing and sirens going? The taxi driver doesn’t even realize he’s being followed.
The FBI sends down Agent Stone (David Lee Smith) to head up the investigation. As soon as Stone arrives, Palermo starts in with usual “We’re real cops!’ spiel, even though Stone hasn’t suggested that they aren’t. Palermo is apparently so used to people not taking bike cops seriously that he just starts ranting as soon as he meets anyone new. Stone asks Chris to be his liaison and Chris, as usual, is like, “Anything to get off this stupid bicycle!”
Stone thinks that Wilson is an anti-technology, eco-terrorist, like the Unabomber. Palermo has his doubts because Palermo always has to try to convince everyone that he knows everything. In the end, it really doesn’t matter because Wilson’s main goal is just to blow everything up. The whole argument over motives feels like it has more to do with Palermo’s insecurities than anything else.
Is the town saved from the mad bomber? Yes. Good work, bike patrol! You all still look silly on those bikes though.
First released in 1971, Carnal Knowledge is the story of two friends, Jonathan (Jack Nicholson) and Sandy (Art Garfunkel).
Jonathan and Sandy meet in the late 40s, when they’re both assigned to be roommates at Amherst College. They’re both smart, handsome, and obviously from well-off families. They both believe that they have a wonderful future ahead of them and why shouldn’t they? World War II is over. America is the leader of the world and Jonathan and Sandy both appear to be future leaders of America. Sandy is shy and sensitive. When he meets Susan (Candice Bergen), he struggles to talk to her and when they date, he doesn’t know how far he should go with her. (When he tells Jonathan about getting a hand job from her, it’s obvious that Sandy didn’t previously realize such a thing was possible.) Jonathan, on the other hand, is confident and aggressive. He can be a braggart and he can be insensitive but there’s something undeniably attractive about someone who knows what he wants and is determined to get it. Soon, Susan finds herself torn between the two roommates, though Sandy is clueless that Jonathan is even interested in her.
Carnal Knowledge is divided into three separate parts, each taking place in a different decade and each shot in its own individual style. (The film was written by playwright Jules Feiffer and the script does very much feel like a three-act play.) As a character, Susan disappears after the first act but her relationship with Jonathan and Sandy haunts every bit of the second and third acts. By the end of the film, Sandy is no longer sensitive and Jonathan is no longer virile and one can’t help but feel that Susan, wherever she may be, is definitely better off without either one of them.
The second act is dominated by Jonathan’s relationship with Bobbie, played by Ann-Margaret. Bobbie is beautiful and heart-breakingly insecure. Her relationship with Jonathan starts with a dash of romance and then quickly becomes a trap for both of them. Jonathan is not ready (or mature enough) to settle down. Bobbie is desperate for him to marry her and willing to go to extremes to make that happen. The scenes where Jonathan and Bobbie fight are some of the most powerful in the film, with both Nicholson and Ann-Margaret giving the viewer raw and honest portrayals of two insecure people who are totally wrong for each other but also incapable of getting away from each other.
By the time the third act comes around, Jonathan has been reduced to paranoid ruminations about “ball-breakers” and can only get it up when he’s feeling like he’s the one in power. (Rita Moreno has a cameo as a very patient prostitute.) Meanwhile, middle-aged Sandy is dating an 18 year-old (Carol Kane) and clearly trying to live the free-spirited youth that he never had. Who is more pathetic? Jonathan, who bitterly realizes he’s never going to be young again, or Sandy, who is trying to deny the fact that he’s getting older?
Carnal Knowledge is a dark film and indeed, it sometimes feels like it’s a bit too dark for its own good. Even the worst people occasionally have a laugh. The script is full of sharp lines and the characters are interesting, even if they are for the most part unlikable. Still, there’s a staginess to the film’s narrative and director Mike Nichols never quite breaks free from it. That said, I still highly recommend this film. Not only is it a portrait of a culture-in-transition but it also features some wonderful performances, especially from Ann-Margaret and Jack Nicholson. (In most ways, Jonathan is definitely worse than Sandy but we still have more sympathy for Jonathan because Jack Nicholson is a considerably better actor than Art Garfunkel.) Ann-Margaret honestly portrays the heart-breaking insecurity that comes from being repeatedly told that you have nothing but your looks to offer. Meanwhile, Nicholson throws himself into playing the charismatic but immature Jonathan. We may not like Jonathan but we do, in the end, understand why he’s become the person that he has. It takes a certain amount of courage to play a character like Jonathan and, in this film, Nicholson shows every bit of that courage.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.
This week, Roarke is in the director’s chair!
Episode 6.13 “Midnight Waltz/Let Them Eat Cake”
(Dir by Ricardo Montalban, originally aired on February 12th, 1983)
Adele Anthony (Adrienne Barbeau) is a hard-working waitress whose fantasy is to be a queen for the weekend. Mr. Roarke asks her if there’s a country that she would like to rule over. Adele shrugs and says that she’s always liked France. Mr. Roarke has her shoot an arrow and suddenly, Adele Anthony is …. MARIE ANTOINETTE!
Yes, the same Marie Antoinette who was beheaded during the French Revolution.
Like, seriously, Mr. Roarke ….. she couldn’t have been any other queen? I’m not really sure why Mr. Roarke decided to do this to Adele, who is probably about a saintly a guest as has ever visited Fantasy Island. Occasionally, Roarke will use the fantasies to teach someone a lesson but Adele really hasn’t done anything to justify being beheaded.
Fortunately, Adele isn’t beheaded. It turns out that Marie Antoinette was saved from the guillotine by Francois (Patrick Wayne), a leader of the revolution who was shocked to discover that the Queen was not as heartless as he had been led to believe and that she had actually been framed by her husband, Louis (James Coco) and Louis’s mistress, Baroness La Rue (Cathryn Damon). Indeed, all Marie Antoinette did was suggest that the cake that the royals were going to have for desert should be given to the citizens, along with a lot of other food. Louis spread the story that Marie Antoinette had said, “Let them eat cake.”
So, Marie Antoinette (and Adele) survives! Meanwhile, Louis is dragged off to be beheaded. Except, it turns out that Louis was just having a fantasy as well. Louis is actually Mr. Willaker, who runs the Fantasy Island car towing service. In lieu of paying him for his services, Roarke gave him a fantasy in which he was beheaded. The episode ends with Willaker towing away Tattoo’s car.
Meanwhile, John Cook (Lew Ayres) is a widower who wants to have one last dance with his wife, Carol (played, in ghost form, by Rosemary DeCamp). However, John meets and falls in love with Martha Wilson (Jane Wyatt) and instead dances with her. Carol approves, saying that she doesn’t want John to spend the rest of his days in mourning. It’s a pretty simple fantasy but you know what? It still brought tears to my eyes and I still smiled at the end of it. A lot of that is due to the Lew Ayres, one of the great actors of Golden Age Hollywood. Ayres gives such a sincere and downright sweet performance that it’s impossible not to get swept up in his fantasy.
This was a good episode. I’m still not sure that Adele needed to become Marie Antoinette but the last dance fantasy made up for a lot. It was just so sweet! This was the second (and last) episode of the series to be directed by Ricardo Montalban and he did a great job.
Based on the final (and unfinished) novel by F. Scott Fitzgerald, 1976’s The Last Tycoon tells the story of Monroe Stahr (Robert De Niro).
Monroe Stahr is the head of production at a film studio during the early days of Hollywood. Stahr is an unemotional and seemingly repressed man who only shows enthusiasm when he’s talking about movies. He may not be able to deal with real people but he instinctively knows what they want to see on the big screen. Stahr is a genius but he’s working himself to death, ignoring his health concerns while trying to create the perfect world through film. He’s haunted by a lost love and when he meets Kathleen Moore (Ingrid Boulting, giving a remarkably dull performance), he tries to find love with her but, naturally, he doesn’t succeed. Meanwhile, he has to deal with his boss (Robert Mitchum), his boss’s daughter (Theresa Russell), a neurotic screenwriter (Donald Pleasence), an impotent actor (Tony Curtis), and a lowdown dirty communist labor organizer (Jack Nicholson)! Sadly, for Stahr, McCarthyism is still a few decades away.
There’s a lot of talented people in The Last Tycoon and it’s undeniably interesting to see old school stars — like Mitchum, Curtis, Dana Andrews, Ray Milland — acting opposite a Method-driven, 30-something Robert De Niro. This is one of those films where even the minor roles are filled with name actors. John Carradine plays a tour guide. Jeff Corey plays a doctor. This is a film about Golden Age Hollywood that is full of Golden Age survivors. It’s a shame that most of them don’t get much to do. The Last Tycoon is a very episodic film as Stahr goes from one crisis to another. Characters show up and then just kind of disappear and we’re never quite sure how Stahr feels about any of them or how their existence really shapes Stahr’s worldview. Robert De Niro may be a great actor but, as portrayed in this film, Monroe Stahr is a boring character and De Niro’s trademark tight-lipped intensity just makes Stahr seem like someone who doesn’t have much to offer beyond employment. This is one of De Niro’s least interesting performances, mostly because he’s playing a not-particularly interesting person. Mitchum, Pleasence, and the old guard all make an impression because they’re willing to coast by on their bigger-than-life personalities. De Niro is trapped by the Method and a total lack of chemistry with co-star Ingrid Boulting.
Still, this is the only film to feature both De Niro and Jack Nicholson. (The Departed was originally conceived as a chance to bring De Niro and Nicholson together, with De Niro being the original choice for the role eventually played by Martin Sheen.) Nicholson’s role is small and he doesn’t show up until the film is nearly over. He and De Niro have an intense table tennis match. Nicholson doesn’t really dig deep into Brimmer’s character. Instead, he flashes his grin and let’s the natural sarcasm of his voice carry the scene. It’s nowhere close to being as emotionally satisfying as the De Niro/Pacino meeting in Heat. That said, Jack Nicholson at least appears to be enjoying himself. His natural charisma makes his role seem bigger than it actually is.
Why was The Last Tycoon such a disappointment? Though unfinished, the book still featured some of Fitzgerald’s best work and there’s a huge amount of talent involved in this film. The blame mostly falls on Elia Kazan, who came out of retirement to direct the film after original director Mike Nichols left the project. (Nichols reportedly objected to casting De Niro as Stahr. While it’s tempting to think that Nichols realized that De Niro’s intense style wouldn’t be right for the role, it actually appears that Nichols and De Niro sincerely disliked each other as Nichols also abandoned the next film he was hired to direct when he was told that De Niro wanted the lead role. Nichols choice for Monroe Stahr was Dustin Hoffman, which actually would have worked. If nothing else, it would have provided a Graduate reunion.) Kazan later said that he did the film solely for the money and it’s obvious that he didn’t really care much about the film’s story. The film has some good scenes but, overall, it feels disjointed and uneven. Kazan doesn’t really seem to care about Monroe Stahr and, as a result, the entire film falls flat.
Previous Icarus Files:
Bless the Asylum and their love of giant monster movies!
In 2021’s Megaboa, a group of college students accompany Dr. Malone (Eric Roberts) a field trip to a remote island. They’re on the island specifically to explore some caves and study some drawings. It’s time to have some fun with anthropology! But when Dr. Malone gets bitten by a venomous spider, a group of students go off in search of an orchid that can neutralize the venom. This eventually leads to them discovering that they’re not alone on the island. There’s also a giant snake, a megaboa if you will.
This is pretty much a typical Asylum film. Giant snakes, tank top-wearing heroines, and Eric Roberts hamming it up in his usual delightful fashion. “Far out!” Dr. Malone says when he first sees the giant snake and how can you not agree with him? Those who complain that the Asylum makes cheap movies are missing the point. The film may be cheap but they’re almost always fun as well. This one features a giant snake that is actually kind of cute and it also features a scene of someone shouting, “Get me out of here!” after being swallowed by the snake and how can you not enjoy that? It’s like a much more honest and self-aware version of Anaconda and, best of all, it’s got Eric Roberts delivering his lines with a twinkle in his eye. He knows better than to take any of this too seriously and hopefully, you do as well.
Megaboa is fun. It’s like the type of films that I used to look forward to watching on the SyFy channel. Get together with a group of your wittiest friends and watch it. Don’t be afraid to talk back to the movie. Don’t be afraid to laugh when the snake first shows up. Tell the characters when they’re doing something dumb, that’s the point of the film. Megaboa is pure entertainment.
Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:
Today’s scene that I love comes from 1975’s Tommy. Based on The Who’s rock opera and directed by Ken Russell, Tommy featured several actors who weren’t necessarily known as singers. Oliver Reed is the most obvious example.
And then there’s Jack Nicholson! Jack’s role is pretty small. He’s the therapist who examines Tommy and who eye flirts with Ann-Margaret. And, of course, he gets his check.
4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!
Today is Jack Nicholson’s 88th birthday!
Though he has pretty much retired from acting, Jack Nicholson remains a screen icon with a filmography that is a cinema lover’s dream. He’s worked with everyone from Roger Corman to Stanley Kubrick to Milos Forman to Martin Scorsese and, along the way, he’s become a symbol of a very American-type of rebel. Though often associated with the counter-culture, his style has always been too aggressive and idiosyncratic for him to be a believable hippie. Instead, he’s one of the last of the beats, an outsider searching for meaning in Americana.
Over the course of his career, Nicholson has won three Oscars and been nominated for a total of 12. He’s the only actor to have been nominated in every decade from the 1960s to the 2000s. He is an actor who epitomizes an era in filmmaking, actually several eras. It’s been 15 years since he last appeared in a movie but Jack Nicholson will never be forgotten.
4 Shots From 4 Jack Nicholson Films