Hi, everyone! Tonight, on Mastodon, I will be hosting the #TubiThursday watch party! Join us for Cocktail (1988)!
You can find the movie on Tubi and you can join us on Mastodon at 9 pm central time! (That’s 10 pm for you folks on the East Coast.) We will be using #TubiThursday hashtag! See you then!
Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy birthday to Dennis Quaid!
This scene that I love comes from 1983’s The Right Stuff and features Quaid as astronaut Gordon Cooper. In this scene, the famous grin is flashed when Cooper is asked to name the best pilot that he ever saw. However, Cooper surprises everyone by turning thoughtful.
4 (or more) Shots From 4 (or more) Films is just what it says it is, 4 (or more) shots from 4 (or more) of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 (or more) Shots From 4 (or more) Films lets the visuals do the talking.
Today, on Jean-Paul Belmondo’s birthday, we pay tribute to French cinema! It’s time for….
4 Shots From 4 French Film
The 400 Blows (1959, dir by François Truffaut, DP: Henri Decae)
Breathless (1960, dir by Jean-Luc Godard, DP: Raoul Coutard)
The Iron Rose (1973, dir by Jean Rollin)
The Girl With A Bracelet (2020, dir by Stéphane Demoustier, DP: Sylvain Verdet)
Behold the glory that was Rome!
In 2008’s Cyclops, Ancient Rome is a bad CGI village that is being menaced by an even worse CGI cyclops. (The height of the Cyclops literally changes from scene to scene.) After the Cyclops is captures, it’s forced to fight in the gladiatorial games of the decadent Emperor Tiberius (Eric Roberts). Marcus (Kevin Stapleton), a centurion-turned-gladiator, eventually launches his own revolution against the Empire. When you’re fighting against the 15 members of the fearsome Roman army, it helps to a have a monster from Greek mythology on your side. Long live the Roman Republic!
This is an extremely silly movie but it’s hard not to admire the chutzpah it takes to try to recreate the glory of Rome on a tiny budget. It’s not just that the city of Rome looks like a medieval village. It’s also that there appears to only be about fifty citizens of Rome and most of them look like they wandered over from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The film doesn’t work but kudos to the filmmakers for trying in the first place. Not surprisingly, this was a Roger Corman production.
Eric Roberts as a Roman emperor is something that simply needs to be seen to believed. Eric has the haircut and the sinful smile and he gives the thumbs up symbol with the proper theatrical flourish. In the film, Tiberius turns on Marcus after the latter demands that he be given a land grant along with his promotion and I’m on Tiberius’s side as far as that goes. Marcus should have just accepted the promotion without making demands. Tiberius had every right to be miffed and no one plays miffed quite as well as Eric Roberts. Tiberius goes on to plan the state dinner that will celebrate the capture of the Cyclops. Tiberius and his friends will have half-a-boar. Marcus will be given “eggs and greens.” Oh, Tiberius!
Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.
Uh-oh. This episode features OJ Simpson doing the real acting.
Episode 3.9 “Call For The Hall”
(Directed by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on November 4th, 1987)
TD Parker (played by OJ Simpson) has a lot to deal with this week!
The team’s running back has been injured. Buffalo is willing to trade their running back in return for Bubba Kincaid! Nobody wants to say goodbye to Bubba. He’s the heart of the team. He’s the team “poobah,” which means that he gets to wear a stupid horned helmet whenever he’s at that team bar. But the Bulls need a running back. TD is the one who has to tell Bubba that he’s been traded. Jethro is named the new team poobah. Bubba’s wife is not happy about moving to Buffalo because it’s too cold up north. Fortunately, it turns out that Buffalo’s running back has also been injured and the trade is canceled. Bubba is staying!
TD has also been voted into the football hall of fame. Should he take his wife and son to the ceremony or should he bring his mistress? TD can’t decide, even though it seems like kind of an obvious decision. Still, TD has to go to the team owner for advice and he is shocked when she reveals that she and everyone else know about TD’s new relationship.
Sorry, TD — everyone knows!
The team owner says that he should probably bring his wife, if just for the sake of appearances. TD then plays basketball with his son and apologizes for not being a better father. This leads to a line of dialogue that so totally epitomizes how much times have changed that it really should be put in a museum.
OJ Simpson apologizes for not being more like Bill Cosby. I think that pretty much sums up this show’s entire third season.
In the end, TD does not take his mistress to the Hall of Fame. But it doesn’t appear that his family attends either. TD gives a speech, thanking his wife and son. Awwww.
This episode features a lot of OJ Simpson acting. As an actor, OJ was mild, bland, and likable. He delivered his lines smoothly but with little sincerity. Of course, nowadays, it’s impossible to listen to him speak without searching for a hidden meaning between the lines. As I watched this episode, I found myself thinking, “Do not make him mad, do not make him mad….”
There was one other storyline in this episode. Dr. Death and Mad Dog stole Coach Grier’s pet mouse. The mouse died. Dr. Death and Mad Dog had to run up and down the stadium stairs as a punishment. The laugh track insists that all of this is funny but I had to disagree. Killing pets is never a good look.
This episode was a lot like OJ’s acting — mild and bland. Unlike OJ, it won’t be getting voted into the Hall of Fame anytime soon.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!
Come aboard, we’re expecting you….
Episode 7.14 “The Last Case/Looking for Mr. Wilson/Love on Strike”
(Dir by Richard A. Wells, originally aired on December 17th, 1983)
This week, an old high school friend of Julie’s is on the cruise. Whenever anyone from Julie’s past shows up, it means drama. Five years ago, when Jan Maddox (Jeanine Wilson) told her boyfriend, Michael, that she was pregnant, he ran out on her. Jan lied to her father, the rigid Colonel Maddox (Claude Akins), and told him that she and Michael had gotten married. For five years, Jan has been telling her father that she’s married. When Colonel Maddox boards the ship and meets his grandson Richie (R.J. Williams) for the first time, Jan continues to lie. She says that Michael got called away on business.
However, when Jan meets a charming single passenger (Tony Dow) and starts to fall for him, she decides to tell her father the truth.
“My grandson is illegitimate?” Maddox says, in a tone more worthy of 1883 than 1983.
Colonel Maddox says that he never wants to see his daughter or his grandson again. Seriously? Okay, good riddance. Colonel Maddox is a terrible person and Jan seems to be doing fine without him. However, Julie mentions to Maddox that Michael walked out on Jan and now the Colonel is doing the same thing. And then Richie tracks him down and yells, “You’re a mean old man and I hate you!” Colonel Maddox sees the error of his ways and that magically fixes everything. Jan forgives him. Richie forgives him. I would not have forgiven him. Then again, I also wouldn’t have lied about being married in the first place.
While this is going on, Jenny (Didi Conn) boards the ship and spends the cruise harassing her ex-boyfriend (Grant Goodeve) and his new girlfriend (Wendy Schaal). Jenny boards with two signs, each declaring that her ex is a louse. She follows him around the ship, chanting about what a louse he is. When she sees him dancing with his new girlfriend, she grabs a microphone and starts to talk about him to all the other passengers. Jenny probably should have been taken into custody and kicked off the boat at the next port-of-call. Instead, everyone acts as if Jenny’s actions are cute. It’s a weird story.
Finally, a mysterious woman known as the Contessa has disappeared from her cabin. Stubing convinces an old friend, retired detective Manfred Benusse (John Hillerman), to investigate. (I would think that the Captain would be required — by law and company policy — to report a missing passenger as soon as it was discovered that she was missing but whatever.) It turns out that there never was a Contessa. The whole thing was a set up, engineered by Benusse’s secretary, Liliane Pendergrast (Allyn Ann McLerie). Lillian didn’t want Benusse to retire and she thought that, if she gave him an unsolvable case, he would change his mind and I presume spend the rest of his days searching for a non-existent human being. I’m not sure how that would have been a good thing but, once Benusse figures it all out, he falls in love with Ms. Pendergrast. When you consider the fact that he could have easily been fired if Benusse hadn’t figured out what his secretary was doing, the Captain is surprisingly forgiving.
This was a really weird episode but the detective storyline was kind of charming in its nonsensical way. Hillerman did such a good job as the detective that it made up for the fact that the other two stories were kind of annoying. The end result was a pleasant cruise.
Today’s song of the day was used to surprisingly good effect in Stanley Kubrick’s 1987 Vietnam war film, Full Metal Jacket.
Today would have been the 84th birthday of special effects maestro, Douglas Trumbull.
Today’s scene that I love come from 1968’s 2001: A Space Odyssey. The famous stargate sequence was designed by Trumbull and it remains one of the most influential science fiction moments of all time. In one of their greatest oversights, the Academy neglected to include Trumbull when they nominated the film for its special effects. As a result, the Oscar only went to Stanley Kubrick. Trumbull was not happy about that and, sadly, Kubrick and Trumbull did not speak to each other for years afterwards.
Despite not being included in the nomination, Douglas Trumbull’s work has stood the test of time.
4 (or more) Shots From 4 (or more) Films is just what it says it is, 4 (or more) shots from 4 (or more) of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 (or more) Shots From 4 (or more) Films lets the visuals do the talking.
With the official Cannes line-up due to be announced tomorrow, it only seems right to highlight a few American films that have previously won the Palme d’Or. It’s time for….
4 Shots From 4 Films That Won At Cannes
Wild At Heart (1990, dir by David Lynch, DP: Frederick Elmes)
Barton Fink (1991, dir by the Coen Brothers, DP: Roger Deakins)
Pulp Fiction (1994, dir by Quentin Tarantino, DP: Andrzej Sekuła)
Tree of Life (2011, dir by Terrence Malick, DP: Emmanuel Lubezki)
Through the Shattered Lens 