Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, Palermo is the peace maker.  *snicker*

Episode 2.20 “Bad Company”

(Dir by Corey Michael Eubanks, originally aired on April 6th, 1997)

In Santa Monica, there are two gangs.

One gang is group of white bikers.  The other gang is a group of black men who spend all of their time playing basketball.  The two groups hate each other but they all respect Lt. Palermo.  Palermo previously brokered a peace between the two group.  However, the peace is now threatened because someone has been tagging up both gang’s territories.  The two gangs are about to go to war, despite Palermo riding his bicycle all over town….

*snicker*

I’m sorry, I can’t help but laugh.  Listen, I know that gangs and gang culture are no laughing matter.  But this episode features angry gang meetings that are broken up by Palermo riding up on his bicycle and talking tough to everyone.  Palermo looks ridiculous with his shorts and his polo shirt and his Schwinn bicycle.  “Palermo’s the peace maker!”  What’s Palermo going to do if someone breaks the peace?  Chase him on his bicycle?

It turns out that a gun dealer (Daniel Quinn) is trying to kickstart his business by starting a gang war.  He’s not very good at his job because the gangs soon team up with the — *snicker* — bike patrol to him down.

Meanwhile, when Victor’s friend is killed after an underground fighting match by an associate of the gun dealer’s, Victor goes undercover to catch him.  Elvis (David Lander), the bike engineer who used to be a member of the regular cast, witnessed the murder and he finds himself being pursued by the gun dealer.  Don’t worry, Elvis!  The bike patrol is looking out for you!  Mixing the broad humor of David Lander’s performance as Elvis with a storyline about how gangs are destroying communities and getting innocent people killed was a decision that really didn’t pay off.  “Increase the peace and now laugh at this guy with an exaggerated accent.”

This episode was  a pretty good example of why Pacific Blue’s main weakness was always its premise. This episode featured a lot of scenes of the members of the bike patrol looking serious and barking out orders.  It’s hard to be intimidated by someone wearing shorts and riding a bicycle.

The title of this episode is Bad Company.  In the end, the truly bad company rode a Schwinn.