Music Video of the Day: Little Of Your Love by Haim (2017, dir by Paul Thomas Anderson)


As we approach Valentine’s Day, this music video from Haim feels appropriate.  Back in the day, Paul Thomas Anderson directed video-after-video of the Haim sisters walking around Los Angeles and it was the greatest thing ever.

Enjoy!

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 3.14 “Heartbeat”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, Palermo dies but it’s not a permanent condition.

Episode 3.14 “Heartbeat”

(Dir by Terence H. Winkless, originally aired on December 28th, 1997)

This week, Pacific Blue decided to stop pretending that it was anything more than a Baywatch ripoff by having Carmen Electra appear as Lani MacKenzie, the lifeguard that she played on Baywatch.  She helped the bicycle cops out with a rescue and then the bike cops helped her out when she had to break up a knife fight on the beach.

Lani was also present to discuss a new program in which two EMTs will ride with the cops.  They will learn how to get around on a bicycle while teaching the bike cops stuff like CPR.  One of the EMTs is Alexa Cholak (Alex Datcher), an ex-girlfriend of Palermo’s.  This complicates things when an explosion rips across the beach.  Palermo and a random woman are injured.  Alexa and all the bike cops work on restarting Palermo’s heart, giving him mouth-to-mouth and chest compressions.  Palermo lives.  The woman dies.  The woman’s boyfriend then sues the bike patrol because he says that they were so concerned about saving Palermo that they essentially just let his girlfriend die.  We’re supposed to dislike the boyfriend but he is actually kind of …. sort of …. right?  Chris points out that the woman would have died even if the EMTs had tried to save her but they had no way of knowing that at the time.  Essentially, they decided to save their friend Palermo while ignoring someone else who was seriously injured.

This really gets to one of the major problems I have with Pacific Blue.  The show just assumes that we’re going to be on the side of the bike patrol no matter what, despite the fact that they often come across as being a bunch of jerks.  That’s certainly the case here.  When Palermo returns to the office, everyone starts applauding and cheering for him, despite the fact that the dead woman’s boyfriend happens to be standing just a few feet away.

This episode features scenes of the members of the bike patrol being interviewed by a therapist after the explosion.  Palermo says that, when he was dead, he didn’t see a bright light or feel any sort of inner peace.  He didn’t see his loved ones waiting for him.  It’s like even the show is admitting that Palermo is going to go to Hell for creating the bike patrol.

As for the rest of the episode, Chris and Victor investigated the claims of an environmentalist whack job (Michael Houston King) who said that a big evil businessman (Larry Wilcox, of CHiPs fame) was polluting the beach.  It turned out the environmentalist was telling the truth.  Meanwhile, shaken by the death of the woman and the resulting lawsuit, Alexa resigned from the bike patrol.  It would have been touching if Alexa had actually been in more than one episode.  Still, each member of the bike patrol popped a wheelie in honor of Alexa.  It was dumb.  Get those bicycles off the beach!

Stupid episode, this week.

 

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 1.4 “Home Shopping”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, an old friend makes an appearance.

Episode 1.4 “Home Shopping”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 2nd, 1993)

With the entire school freaking out about midterms and Scott and Lindsay working in the school store (which apparently is just a cardboard sign set up next to a trashcan in the hall), Scott comes up with a brilliant idea.  Why not start a home shopping network on Baywatch’s TV station?  And why not sell a special memory tonic that is basically just chocolate syrup and fish oil?

Soon, the entire school is drinking Chocolate Memory.  Evil old Dr. Hammersmith (David Byrd) announces that he’s going to make his midterm even more difficult as a way to combat the use of Chocolate Memory.  Scott recruits James the Actor (Mark Blankfield) to pretend to be a Harvard professor who is willing to offer Dr. Hammersmith a job but only if Dr. Hammersmith gives an easy midterm.

James the Actor, I should mention, appeared in a handful of episodes of the original Saved By The Bell.  He was a waiter at the Maxx and an actor who would happily put on a fake beard whenever Zack needed to fool someone.  It’s not a  surprise that he would come back for Saved By The Bell: The New Class.  What is a surprise is that Scott — a transfer student from another school — somehow knows who James is.  In fact, how do any of the members of the new cast know James as well as they do?  James was Zack’s friend and now, suddenly, he’s Scott’s friend.  It seems like James, a grown man approaching 50, just liked hanging out with high school students and helping them with their zany schemes.  Red flag!  Red flag!

Oh, this episode was dumb.  Presumably, everyone flunked their midterms, except for Megan who was so worried about fooling Mr. Hammersmith that she actually studied for them.  What’s funny is that the “difficult” questions that Mr. Hammersmith asked weren’t that difficult.  I mean, if you can’t remember the year that the Boston Tea Party occurred, maybe you should be held back a grade or two.  (1773, by the way.)

One of the more familiar complaints about the first season of Saved By The Bell: The New Class is that it didn’t do much to differentiate itself from the original series.  It just brought in a bunch of new people and had them act like Zack, Slater, Kelly, and Weasel.  That’s certainly true in this case.  As I watched Scott go through the motions with his wacky scheme, I found myself suspecting that the episode’s script probably just had a line marked through “Zack” and “Scott” added in pencil.

At the end of the episode, Megan and Scott share a smile and agree that they make a great team.  “Whooooo!” the audience shouts.  I guess they make an okay team.  I mean, they managed to get everyone in the school to drink a potentially lethal combination of fish oil and chocolate syrup.  If Megan wants to become a professional con artist, I guess she’s found her man.

Review: Primate (dir. by Johannes Roberts)


“There’s something wrong with Ben.” — Lucy Pinborough

Primate is the kind of nasty little horror movie that knows exactly what it is: a killer-chimp siege flick with a mean streak, a surprising amount of craft, and just enough emotional texture to keep it from feeling like pure junk food. It is also, very unapologetically, a January-release bloodbath built around one simple promise: you came to watch a chimp rip people apart, and the film is absolutely going to deliver on that.

Set on a remote, luxury house carved into a Hawaiian cliffside, Primate follows Lucy, a college student returning home to her deaf father Adam, younger sister Erin, and Ben—their adopted chimpanzee, who has been taught to communicate using a custom soundboard. The setup leans a bit into family melodrama and awkward-friends-on-vacation vibes: Lucy brings her buddies Kate and Nick, Kate drags along wildcard Hannah, and a pair of party bros, Drew and Brad, orbit the group on the way to a weekend of drinking by the infinity pool. Things tilt into horror when Ben is bitten by a rabid mongoose, starts behaving erratically, and eventually tears the face off the local vet before busting out of his enclosure and turning the house into a kill zone. From there, the movie pretty much drops the pretense of being about anything except survival, creative carnage, and the miserable logistics of trying to outrun a furious primate on a cliff.

Director Johannes Roberts, who previously did 47 Meters Down and The Strangers: Prey at Night, brings that same B-movie efficiency here—minimal fat, fast escalation, and a willingness to lean into the ridiculous without winking too hard. Once Ben escapes, the film basically becomes a series of tightly staged, high-tension set pieces: kids trapped in a pool while a chimp stalks the edge, frantic dashes through glass corridors, and messy, up-close attacks where you really feel the weight and speed of the animal. The pool sequence in particular is a great example of Roberts finding one strong visual idea—humans stranded in water because the predator can’t swim—and milking it for all the dread he can. It’s simple, almost old-fashioned monster-movie blocking, but it works because the geography is clear and the danger feels immediate rather than abstract.

Visually, the film is punching above what you might expect from “rabid chimp horror.” The cliffside house setting gives Roberts and his team a lot to play with: long glass walls, sharp drops, tight stairwells, and that infinity pool hanging over nothing. The camera favors clean, legible compositions instead of frantic shaky-cam, which means when the violence happens, you actually see it—and the movie is proud of that. There’s a grimy 80s-video-store energy to the way kills are framed and lingered on just long enough to be uncomfortable, but not so long that they turn into camp. Adrian Johnston’s synth-heavy score leans into that retro horror vibe too; it buzzes and screeches like someone let a demon loose on a cheap keyboard, and it matches the film’s mix of nasty and playful pretty well.

The real secret weapon here is Ben himself. Rather than going full CGI or trying to work with a real chimp, the production uses a combination of suit performance, animatronics, and careful staging, with Miguel Torres Umba giving the creature its physical personality. The result is surprisingly convincing; there are stretches where it feels like you’re watching a real animal charge people on stairs or slam into doors, which makes the violence land harder. You can tell the effects team put in serious work on the costume and facial mechanics—Ben’s expressions shift from confused, childlike attachment to full-on feral rage, and that emotional readability helps sell him as a character instead of just a prop. Importantly, the film avoids the “PS3 cutscene” problem of bad CG animals, which would have killed the tension immediately.

Performance-wise, this is very much “do your job and don’t get in the way” acting, and that’s mostly a compliment. Johnny Sequoyah makes Lucy feel grounded enough that you buy her as both final girl and guilty older sister who’s been away too long. Troy Kotsur, as Adam, is probably the standout human presence; his scenes use sign language not as a gimmick, but as part of how the family actually lives, and his mixture of vulnerability and stubbornness gives the movie a little heart. The rest of the cast—Jessica Alexander, Victoria Wyant, Gia Hunter, Benjamin Cheng, and the cannon-fodder guys—do what’s asked: they feel like actual young adults rather than complete idiots, which helps when the film needs you to invest in whether they make it out. Nobody is delivering awards-caliber work, but nobody is embarrassing themselves either, and in a film where a chimp tears someone’s jaw off, that’s honestly the sweet spot.

Tonally, Primate walks a line between brutal and darkly funny, and your mileage will depend on how much you enjoy mean-spirited genre films. This is not a movie that’s precious about its characters; the script makes it clear that almost anyone can get obliterated at any moment, and the kill scenes are loud, wet, and often abrupt. There’s a streak of black comedy in how casually some of the deaths happen—a rock to the head here, a shovel to the face there—but Roberts never tips fully into self-parody. At the same time, the film does gesture at something sadder in the idea of a beloved family member suddenly turning dangerous because of a disease, and in the way Lucy has to reconcile her childhood bond with Ben with the reality of what he’s become. The movie doesn’t dig into that theme deeply, but it’s present enough to keep things from feeling completely hollow.

Where Primate stumbles is mostly in its limitations, and whether those feel like flaws or just genre boundaries will depend on what you’re looking for. The script is extremely straightforward: characters have clear, basic motivations, relationships are sketched in a few lines, and then everyone gets funneled into the survival engine. If you want layered character work, subtext about animal ethics, or a big commentary on captivity and communication, this is not that movie, even though the setup with a sign-literate chimp and a linguist mother hints at richer territory. The film also indulges in the usual horror conveniences—texts ignored, warnings missed, people splitting up when they probably shouldn’t—though to its credit, the characters generally behave less stupidly once they understand the situation. And as gnarly as the gore is, the movie’s reliance on shock and escalation can make the back half feel a bit repetitive: Ben appears, someone gets mauled, survivors scramble, repeat.

From an honesty standpoint, Primate is absolutely worth watching if you have a soft spot for creature-features, killer-animal movies, or throwback 80s-style horror that doesn’t pretend to be more than a vicious good time. It’s tightly paced, well shot, and anchored by a genuinely impressive creature performance that justifies the whole exercise. If you’re squeamish about animal violence, or you want your horror to come with metaphor, political commentary, or emotional catharsis, you’ll probably bounce off this pretty quickly. But if you can meet it on its own trashy, committed wavelength, there’s something satisfying about watching a studio-backed film go this hard, this graphically, on such a simple premise. It feels like the kind of bloody, fast-moving B-movie you’d have rented on VHS for a sleepover, only now it’s playing in theaters with a slicker finish and a killer chimp named Ben waiting to wreck your night.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Alexander Payne Edition


4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy birthday to director Alexander Payne!  It’s time for….

4 Shots from 4 Alexander Payne Films

Election (1999, dir by Alexander Payne, DP: James Glennon)

Sideways (2004, dir by Alexander Payne, DP: Phedon Papamichael)

The Descendants (2011, dir by Alexander Payne, DP: Phedon Papamichael)

Nebraska (2013, dir by Alexander Payne, DP: Phedon Papamichael)

 

Song of the Day: Open Arms (by Journey)


There’s something about nostalgia that hits differently. It gets a bad rap sometimes—mostly because it can make us label anything from our past as a “classic” just because it’s tied to some fond memory. But when it’s genuine, nostalgia can feel like stepping back into a moment you never wanted to end.

That’s exactly what today’s “Song of the Day” does—it stirs up those feelings of the past and reminds me why some songs never lose their magic. I’m talking about one of the all-time great power ballads: Journey’s “Open Arms.”

Released in 1982 on Journey’s seventh album, Escape, the song was an instant hit, both on the radio and in their arena shows. “Open Arms” quickly became the rock power ballad—the one all others get compared to. Like any good ballad, it’s about losing love and finding it again. Honestly, I don’t know anyone—no matter their music taste—who hasn’t slow danced to this song at least once.

It wasn’t exactly the go-to tune at my high school dances, but I definitely heard it plenty once I was older—at weddings, anniversaries, and other celebrations. The song’s staying power comes from more than just its lyrics—it’s Steve Perry’s voice. His delivery is powerful without feeling overdone or corny. There’s this sincerity in his singing, like he’s sharing something deeply personal, and that’s what gives the song its timeless emotional pull.

Open Arms

Lying beside you
here in the dark
Feeling your heart beat with mine

Softly you whisper
you’re so sincere
How could our love be so blind
We sailed on together
We drifted apart
And here you are by my side

So now I come to you
with open arms
Nothing to hide
believe what I say
So here I am with open arms
Hoping you’ll see what your love means to me
Open arms

Living without you
living alone
This empty house seems so cold

Wanting to hold you
wanting you near

How much I want you home
But now that you’ve come back
Turned night into day
I need you to stay

So now I come to you
with open arms
Nothing to hide
believe what I say
So here I am with open arms
Hoping you’ll see what your love means to me
Open arms

Music Video of the Day: With You by Jessica Simpson (2003, dir by Elliott Lester)


Today’s music video features Jessica Simpson, back in happier days.  This was the last video she made with Nick Lachey.  (They would get divorced three years later.)  It’s essentially just an advertisement for the reality show that was their life.  When Jessica and Nick split up, a generation stopped believing in love.  They probably should have stopped believing in reality television instead.

Jessica Simpson and I went to the same high school, though Jessica had dropped out and moved to California long before I started going there.  Still, I had some teachers who remembered her as being a nice person.

Enjoy!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 5.8 “Diamond In The Rough”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

Who will be Jon’s partner this week?  Read on to find out.

Episode 5.8 “Diamond in the Rough”

(Dir by Leslie H. Martinson, originally aired on November 22nd, 1981)

Erik Estrada is not in this episode which means that a pre-transition Caitlyn Jenner is back as Officer Steve McLeish.  Yay!  Jenner is just as off-putting and unconvincing as the last time that he appeared on this show.  Unfortunately, it appears that the show’s producers picked up on the fact that he wasn’t a particularly good (or even appealing) actor and, as a result, neither Jon nor Steve do much in this episode.  It’s almost as if the show’s producer didn’t realize that Jenner’s inability to show emotion or deliver his lines without smiling like a goofball was the most entertaining thing about the episodes without Estrada.

Instead, the episode is split between a veteran thief (Henry Jones) plotting his next robbery and an angry kid named Pat (Nicky Katt, in one of his first roles) who stays with the Getraers while his mother is recovering after a car accident.  As the car accident was caused by the thief’s car, Pat is in a position where he can identify the thief.  But first, Pat has to stop getting angry at everyone.

This episode didn’t add up too much.  The whole thing felt a bit half-baked and one gets the feeling that the script was hastily thrown together so that it wouldn’t require Estrada (who was recovering from a stunt-gone-wrong at the time) while, at the same time, it also wouldn’t require Jenner to do much more other than stand around and direct traffic.  Robert Pine gets to do a bit more than usual, which is good because he was the best actor on the show.  But still, on the whole, this just didn’t feel like a proper episode of CHiPs.

One final note: Nicky Katt was really good as Pat.  Most child actors tend to go overboard and come across as being cutesy.  Katt, on the other hand, seemed to be sincerely angry in the role of Pat.  Your heart really broke for him.  Even as a child actor, Katt was a smart and intuitive actor.  He is definitely missed.