Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.8 “The Smile In The Third Row”

Posted on May 2, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!

This week, Jonathan and Mark head to Broadway!

Episode 2.8 “The Smile In The Third Row”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on November 20th, 1985)

Fred Fusco (Lorne Greene) is a veteran actor who is appearing in a Broadway play. In the play, Fred plays a man who learns that he’s about to die. During the third act, Fred’s character actually does die and Fred ends the play with a monologue about owning the choices he made in his life before he ascends into Heaven (via a harness).

It’s a depressing play and the theater is usually half-empty whenever Fred performs. But one night, Fred claims that he spotted God sitting in the third row. Fred also says that God really enjoyed the show. When the news get out, the play becomes a huge success as audiences turn out to see a play endorsed by God. Fred becomes a huge celebrity and befriends a terminally ill boy who promises to say hi to God when he goes to Heaven. However, when Fred starts to talk about leaving his fortune to charity, both his sister (Mary Ann Gibson) and his nephew (David L. Lander) conspire to have him committed.

Fred also happens to be Jonathan and Mark’s later assignment. Mark gets a job at the theater while Jonathan puts on a collar and becomes Father Jonathan. While Mark is convinced that Fred is actually seeing God, Jonathan is skeptical because Jonathan doesn’t see God in the theater. Why, Jonathan asks, would God reveal himself to an actor but not an angel? There’s an interesting subtext here, as it quickly becomes obvious that Jonathan isn’t so much skeptical as he’s jealous. He even rather recklessly reveals to Fred that he’s an angel in his quest to convince Fred that he hasn’t actually seen God. Fred reveals that he’s willing to accept Jonathan’s word that he’s an angel but then asks why Jonathan is not willing to accept his word that he sees God in the theater.

Is God in the theater? At the end of the episode, Fred’s harness is broken but, at the end of the third act, he still ascends above the theater and then vanishes. The newspapers call it a hoax but the show suggests that, much like Elijah, he’s been assumed straight to Heaven. Is Fred meant to be a modern day Elijah? Would that therefore make his sister a modern-day Jezebel? Perhaps but, fortunately for her, she is never eaten by wild dogs.

As usual, there wasn’t much subtlety to be found in this episode of Highway to Heaven but it still worked surprisingly well. When Fred met the dying child, my first instinct was to roll my eyes at the obviousness of it all but those same eyes had tears in them by the time the scene was over. The episode benefitted greatly from Lorne Greene’s strong performance as Fred Fusco and Michael Landon’s strong portrayal of Jonathan’s mixed feelings about Fred’s claims. All in all, this was a strong episode.

The Films of 2024: The Bricklayer (dir by Renny Harlin)

Posted on May 2, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Someone is assassinating commie journalists in Europe and making it appear as if the CIA is responsible. O’Malley (Tim Blake Nelson) of the CIA suspects that the assassin is Michael Radek (Clifton Collins, Jr.), a former intelligence asset who faked his own death but who has now returned and is seeking vengeance on the Agency for the death of his wife and daughter. O’Malley decides that Radek’s friend and former CIA handler, Steve Vail (Aaron Eckhart), is the only man who can track Radek down.

The problem is that Vail is as disillusioned with intelligence work as Radek. Vail walked away from the Agency years ago and now spends his time listening to jazz and working as a bricklayer. Vail explains that, when working with bricks, everything is predictable and everything fits together perfectly. It’s the opposite of the chaotic world of spies and assassinations. O’Malley think that Vail is full of crap and I would be tempted to agree if not for the fact that Aaron Eckhart is one of the few actors who can make you believe anything that he says.

At first, Vail refuses to help but then Radek sends a group of assassins to kill him. That changes Vail’s mind. Along with an inexperienced supervisor named Kate (Nina Dobrev), Vail heads to Greece to not only track down Radek but also discover the identity of a mole in the CIA.

The Bricklayer was advertised as being a return-to-form of sorts for director Renny Harlin. In many ways, it’s a typical Harlin film. For the most part, it looks good. Some of the action scenes are exciting. A car flips over and explodes. At the same time, it never quite reaches the heights of Harlin’s heyday. This film has neither the grandeur of Die Hard 2, the romantic sparks of The Long Kiss Goodnight, or the energy of Deep Blue Sea. The film’s low-budget is definitely a factor in that. There are scenes in the film that look about as cheap as some of the movies that Bruce Willis was making before he announced his retirement.

That said, The Bricklayer does what it does with efficiency and Renny Harlin still knows how to keep the action moving. Though the story is a bit too familiar to really be intriguing, Aaron Eckhart makes for a surprisingly believable secret agent. One thing I especially liked about Eckhart’s performance is that he didn’t go for the “grim” stereotype of the former intelligence agent. As played by Aaron Eckhart, Steve Vail may have had his regrets but he wasn’t some sort of emotionless zombie. He enjoyed jazz. He enjoyed the work that he did as a bricklayer. Though the rules of the genre demand that he and Nina Dobrev start the film as mild adversaries, they quickly developed a likable chemistry.

The Bricklayer is the epitome of an okay, middle of the road movie. It’s neither good nor bad enough to be especially memorable but it’s entertaining enough if you’ve got 100 minutes to kill.

Paper Lion (1968, directed by Alex March)

Posted on May 2, 2024 by Jedadiah Leland

Writer George Plimpton (Alan Alda) is a Park Avenue sophisticate who practices “participatory” journalism. He has already written about pitching in an exhibition all-star game and getting knocked out by Sugar Ray Robinson. He is having trouble coming up with his next stunt until he goes to Central Park and plays a touch football game with his girlfriend Kate (Lauren Hutton) and his editor, Oscar (David Doyle). Oscar sees George throwing the ball and decides that George should write about going to a professional football team’s training camp as a player.

George, who fantasizes about throwing the game-winning touchdown, is enthusiastic. Most of the teams that George approaches are less enthusiastic but finally, the Detroit Lions agree to sign him as a quarterback. Once the other players realize that George is a writer and not a professional athlete, there’s a lot of resentment. As Guard John Gordy (playing himself) puts it, he could easily get injured while protecting an inexperienced quarterback like George. George can always go back to Park Avenue but, for the rest of the players, the game is their life and they don’t like the idea of some outsider coming in and treating it all like a joke. At first, only the fearsome defender Alex Karras (also playing himself) is willing to support George but eventually, George’s refusal to give up wins over the rest of the team. They even let him score a touchdown during practice.

When the preseason begins, George waits for his opportunity to take the field. How many yards can he lose in three plays?

Paper Lion is based on a true story. In 1963, George Plimpton did attending training camp and play a scrimmage for the Lions and he later wrote a book about the experience. The movie changes the time period from ’63 to ’67 so that all of the then-members of the Lions could play themselves. (Though Karras was a friend of Plimpton’s, he was actually suspended during the 1963 season and, unlike in the movie, never joined Plimpton on the practice field.) The film plays Plimpton’s football career largely for laughs, celebrating every guy’s fantasy of being a sports star while also showing why it’s probably best to leave the actual game to the professionals. Alan Alda doesn’t imitate Plimpton’s famous Mid-Atlantic accent but he does capture the excitement of a man getting to live out his fantasy.

Paper Lion was made with the full cooperation of the NFL and a good deal of the film’s final third is made up footage that was shot for an actual game. Seen today, it’s interesting to see how positively Paper Lion portrays both the game and its players and to contrast it with how the game is usually portrayed today. There’s no talk of steroids or fears of multiple concussions. All of the players are clean-cut, friendly, witty, and helpful. Even the training camp hazing is all done is good fun. Paper Lion introduces us to the nicest people in the world and they’re all football players!

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.1 “Welcome to Malibu”

Posted on May 2, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Imagine being Peter Engel in 1998.

Your most successful show, Saved By The Bell, ended its NBC run years ago, though it does live on in syndication. Your second most successful show, California Dreams, ended two years ago. Once you and your programs dominated NBC’s Sunday morning programming and the cultural landscape but now you’ve been reduced to City Guys, One World, Hang Time, and Saved By The Bell: The New Class. Both American culture and NBC are moving away from your style of goofy, wholesome entertainment.

What do you do?

If you’re Peter Engel, you take what worked with Saved By The Bell and what worked with California Dreams and you try to create a new show called Malibu, CA. And if NBC won’t return your calls, you just sell the show to syndication. That’ll show them!

Malibu, CA ran for two seasons and, until I came across a reference to it online, it was the only Engelverse show that I had previously never seen or even heard about. However, it turns out that Malibu, CA is available on YouTube. Considering all of the effort that I previously put into reviewing every episode of California Dreams, City Guys, Hang Time, and even One World (GOD GOD, ONE WORLD), it only seems right to now review Malibu, CA.

Episode 1.1 “Welcome to Malibu”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on October 11th, 1998)

After a montage of familiar Malibu images (Hey! Did you know that people surf, bike, and wear bikinis in Malibu?), the show introduces us to Scott (Trevor Merszei) and Jason Collins (Jason Hayes), two twins brothers who don’t like alike. (That’s good because I’m already having trouble remembering which is which.) In typical Peter Engel style, they start the show in their bedroom and talking directly to the audience.

Scott explains that their mother has taken a job in Saudi Arabia so he and his brother have moved to Malibu to live with their Dad. (Really? Saudi Arabia?) Jason says he’s excited because Malibu is “27 miles of babes.” Scott says that Jason is “both halves of Dumb and Dumber.” Jason says that Scott’s shirt makes him look like one of the “Spice Boys.”

Downstairs, their father Peter Collins (Edward Blatchford, who previously played Mr. Belding’s laid back and irresponsible brother on a classic episode of Saved By The Bell), waits for them so that he can take them to their first day at a new school. Scott asks if Malibu is always as perfect as it appears to be in the morning. Peter says that it’s perfect except for the mudslides and the earthquakes. Jason says that he can’t wait for his first earthquake because he wants to see “Heather Locklear run from her house in her underwear.” (Okay, Jason, we get it. You’re the type of guy who is destined to go broke due to an internet porn addiction.) Peter mentions that he dated “the redhead from Melrose Place” three times. He then tells the boys that he’s “not much on rules” and he suggests that Scott change his shirt because, “You look like Al Gore.” (OUCH!) Peter leaves for the restaurant that he apparently owns while Scott heads up stairs to look for a new shirt.

That leaves Jason alone to meet the next door neighbor, Samantha “Sam” Chapman (Gina Marley May), whose short red dress causes Jason to say, “Whoa!” and inspires someone in the studio audience to do a wolf whistle. Sam wants Jason to sign a petition that will tell businessman Henry Updyke to not drill for oil on the beach. (Didn’t the same thing happen on both Saved By The Bell and California Dreams?) Jason signs and he also meets Sam’s friend, the spacey Murray Updyke (Brandon Brooks). Murray is especially dedicated to taking down Henry’s business because Henry is his father. So, basically, Murray’s a spoiled jerk, even if the show doesn’t realize it.

We then cut to high school, which appears to be the same high school set that was used in California Dreams. We see Sam with her best friend, a lifeguard named Jennifer “Stads” Stadler (Wendi Kenya). Stads (God, do I really have to call her that?) just broke up with her boyfriend because apparently, he was only taking her to Hooters so that he could hit on the waitresses. (Was she dating Michael Scott?)

Now, the good news is that Stads hates being called Stads. “Why does everyone think I’m one of the guys?” she says angrily. “Well, you did join the boys hockey team,” Sam offers up. Stads then notices Scott struggling with his locker combination. She helps him out by punching the locker, which flies open and smacks Scott in the face. As Scott struggles to regain his composure, he asks for help finding the Marine Biology class. Sam is also into Marine Biology. (SHOCKER!) She and Scott go off together.

Meanwhile, Jason is approached by a woman (Susan Wood) in a red dress. (Another red dress!) She asks his name and, when he says that he’s Jason Collins, she asks if he’s Peter’s son. Jason immediately assume that Peter must have dated her. “My Dad always dates the hottest babes!” “I’m not a babe, I’m Ms. Morrissey …. your principal.” “Whoa!” the audience says. Murray runs into the school and hugs Mrs. Morrisey. After Morrisey politely tells them to get to class and then heads for her office, Murray suggests they should skip school instead. Jason agrees. Hey, why not? It’s not like anything important happens on the first day of school.

Jason stops by the Lighthouse, which is Peter’s restaurant. The Lighthouse is easily identifiable as Sharky’s from California Dreams, just with a new coat of paint. Peter is not happy about Jason skipping but Jason gets distracted by Sam trying to pass out flyers for her anti-oil rally. Jason offers to hand out the flyers for her. Sam thanks him and says that she can’t wait to see him at the rally. After Sam leaves, Jason gives the flyers to a waiter and tell him to put them into all the menus. Scott then shows up and says that he met the perfect girl. Jason says he did to. “Wait until you meet Samantha!” they say in unison.

Cut to the beach, where Jason, Scott, Sam, Stads, and Murray are struggling to get anyone to take their flyers. Jason suggests that they need a billboard. “Are you talking about signs everywhere ragging on my dad’s company?” Murray says, “Alright!”

(I’m sorry but Murray’s kind of a dick. I mean, are you campaigning for the environment or are you just mad at your dad?)

How to pay for a billboard? Jason suggests having a fundraiser at the Lighthouse.

“Dad won’t go for that,” Scott says.

“Dad doesn’t need to know,” Jason says.

Okay, Jason’s a dick too.

How to get Peter out of the restaurant? Jason approaches Ms. Morrissey at school and, surprisingly, is not given any sort of punishment for skipping the first day. Jason gives Ms. Morrissey tickets to the Fleetwood Mac concert and says that Peter really wants to go with her but he feels awkward because Ms. Morrissey is their principal so Ms. Morrissey will have to ask him. Ms. Morrissey agrees to this because, in the world of Peter Engel, all principals are idiots.

Somehow, the plan works. Peter — oh my God! IS HE NAMED AFTER PETER ENGEL!? — goes to the concert and the boys take over the restaurant. Sam is really impressed, since the party will give her a chance to get more teenagers to sign her useless petition. Jason and Scott get into an argument over who Sam likes and they decide to ask Stads. They don’t even notice that Stads is trying to change her image by wearing a dress.

“Just imagine if the two of us liked you,” Scott says to her, apparently unaware that Stads has a crush on him, “who would you go for?”

Stads runs from the restaurant as the audience says, “Awwww!” I actually said “awww” too. Both Jason and Scott are dicks. Poor Jennifer!

Because Jason lied and said the stars of Baywatch would be at the restaurant, way too many people show up for the party. Jason and Scott get into an argument over who is to blame and they each accuse the other of only throwing the party to get a date with Sam. Offended, Sam declares, “I wouldn’t date either of you!” Good for you, Sam, they suck.

Guess who suddenly shows up? It’s Peter and the cops! The restaurant is closed for overcrowding and Peter, as owner, is fined $500. Peter worries that maybe he’s not responsible enough to look after his sons. Maybe they need to go back to New York and live with their grandma.

The next days, Jason and Scott tells Stads and Sam that they’re leaving. “I’m never going to see you again!?” Stads says before kissing Scott. “Hey, I’m leaving too!” Jason says.

Fear not. Peter decides to give them another chance, with the understanding that there will be rules. They’re both grounded and they’re both going to have to work as busboys in the restaurant. But they can stay in Malibu and continue to compete for Sam.

“My brother doesn’t stand a chance!” Jason and Scott is unison.

Well, that happened. The first episode of Malibu CA did what a first episode should do. It introduced us to the characters and their situations and it set up future storylines. Unfortunately, almost none of the characters are particularly likable. Jason’s a jerk. Scott’s a wimp. Murray is a spoiled brat. Sam is self-righteous. Peter is a midlife crisis waiting to happen. The closest thing this show has to a likable character is Jennifer and she’s stuck with a terrible nickname. I’m an optimist and I’m fully aware that first episodes are rarely indicative of what a show is going to eventually become. I hope Malibu CA will improve. For now, though, I’m starting understand why I had never heard of it before.

Documentary Review: Lock-Up: The Prisoners of Rikers Island (dir by Jon Alpert and Nina Rosenblum)

Posted on May 2, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Rikers Island is one of those places that we all know about, even those of us who have never been there.

Rikers Island is an island that sits in the East River in the Bronx. It is also home to New York City’s largest and most notorious jail. It’s a jail that has a reputation for violence and corruption. Over 100,000 people are admitted into Rikers per year and, on most days, the complex has a population of 10,000 prisoners. (For comparison, my mom was born in a town that currently has a population of 1,200.) Rikers Island is notorious for the number of prisoners who have died while in the jail. It is estimated that 85% of the inmates are pre-trial defendants, people who have yet to be convicted of anything but who either didn’t get or couldn’t afford bail. The other 15% are serving short sentences. Rikers Island is a county jail that has a reputation for being as bad as any state prison. You don’t have to be from New York City to know about Rikers Island. The jail has become so notorious that Rikers Island has developed an international reputation and is often held up as a symbol of everything that’s wrong with the way that incarceration is handled.

Lock-Up: The Prisoners of Rikers Island was filmed for and aired on HBO in 1994. The documentary is now 30 years old and the population of the jail has grown considerably since it first aired. That’s a frightening thought because the jail that is seen in the documentary was already overcrowded, dirty, and dangerous. The documentary features interviews with both guard and prisoners. We follow the guards as they search cells and confiscate weapons and drugs. We meet a prisoner who has AIDS and who is hoping to be transferred to a drug rehab. (He explains that he was born addicted and he’ll probably die addicted if he’s left in Rikers.) We meet several of the pregnant women who are incarcerated in the jail and listen as they wonder what would happen if they went into labor when there’s not a guard around. We watch as the guards uneasily deal with the prisoners who have asked to be incarcerated in the jail’s “gay wing.” We meet several inmates who are obviously dealing with untreated mental illness. A lawyer tries to talk to his client and gets in a shouting match with another prisoner. We meet a notorious criminal named Eddie White, who explains that a life sentence means that he no longer has to follow the rules. We meet a lot of people in this documentary and what they all agree on is that being locked up is Hell.

It’s hardly a balanced documentary. The filmmakers are clearly on the side of the inmates but that’s okay. Considering that the inmates have essentially no control over their own lives while they’re in Rikers, it can be argued that they deserve to have someone on their side. Most of the inmates talk about their regrets but, as the documentary ruefully observes, most of them will eventually end up returning to Rikers even after they’re released. One woman cries when she learns her baby might be ill but, when we see her during her second stint at Rikers, she blithely comments that her baby was taken away by “the city.” As with so many inmates, she explains that she was set free with no training as to how to remain free. As an addict, she has discovered the system is more interesting in punishing her addiction than treating it.

The biggest problem with the criminal justice system is that it rarely rehabilitates but instead creates a situation where no one can get or take advantage of a second chance. 30 years after it was released, Lock-Up reminds us that this is hardly a new problem.

Lisa Marie’s Way Too Early Oscar Predictions For May

Posted on May 2, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

We’re nearly halfway through the year and so far, we have two films that seem like they might still be in the Oscar conversation at the end of the year, Dune 2 and Civil War. With the Cannes Film Festival coming up this month, we should soon have some more contenders to consider.

My predictions below are a bit heavy on sequels. In fact, if the predictions below came true, it would a record year for sequels at the Oscars. Of course, it’s early and it’s totally probable that the majority of the films listed below will not be nominated. Right now, it’s pretty much a guessing game. The production delays caused by last year’s strikes have opened the door for a lot of sequels to receive consideration that they might not receive in other years.

What will happen when the nominations are announced in 2025? Who knows? For now, let’s just have fun guessing. You can check out my predictions for April by clicking here.

Best Picture

The Apprentice

The Bikeriders

Blitz

Civil War

Dune, Part II

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

Gladiator 2

Inside Out 2

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

SNL: 1975

Best Director

Ali Abassi for The Apprentice

Alex Garland for Civil War

Steve McQueen for Blitz

George Miller for Furiousa: A Mad Max Saga

Ridley Scott for Gladiator 2

Best Actor

Austin Butler in The Bikeriders

Daniel Craig in Queer

Richard Gere in Oh, Canada

Paul Mescal in Gladiator 2

Glen Powell in Hit Man

Best Actress

Jodie Comer in The Bikeriders

Ryan Destiny in The Fire Inside

Noemie Merlant in Emmanuelle

Anya Taylor-Joy in Furiosa

Zendaya in Challengers

Best Supporting Actor

Kieran Culkin in A Real Pain

Tom Hardy in The Bikeriders

Samuel L. Jackson in The Piano Lesson

Jeremy Strong in The Apprentice

Denzel Washington in Gladiator 2

Best Supporting Actress

Joan Chen in Didi

Danielle Deadwyler in The Piano Lesson

Connie Nielsen in Gladiator 2

Saoirse Ronan in Blitz

Rachel Sennot in SNL: 1975

Moments #14: Visitors

Posted on May 2, 2024 by Dazzling Erin

Living near a creek, we occasionally do get visitors. These fine ducks decided to take a break in our front yard on their way back home. They were enjoying the warm weather.

Previous Moments:

Scenes That I Love: Ari Lehman Emerges From The Lake In Friday the 13th

Posted on May 2, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy 59th birthday to actor and musician Ari Lehman! Lehman made his debut in 1978’s Manny Orphans and so impressed director Sean S. Cunningham that Cunningham offered him a role in his next film. When Cunningham offered Lehman the role, he asked only one question. “Can you swim?”

At the age of 14, Ari appeared in Friday the 13th. He didn’t get much screen time but his performance and appearance as the young Jason Voorhees created a moment of fright that lives on today.

Happy birthday, Ari Lehman!

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Lone Scherfig Edition

Posted on May 2, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, TSL wishes a happy birthday to Danish director Lone Scherfig! It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Lone Scherfig Films