October Positivity: The 3 (dir by Chip Rossetti)

Posted on October 20, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

You don’t have to be a gun control fanatic to be horrified by the school shootings that seem to be a regular occurrence nowadays.

I mean, the thing with school is that, at a certain age, you’re pretty much forced to be there. If you skip school, you could potentially get into a lot of trouble and, depending on where you live, your parents could get in a lot of trouble as well. You’re not really given a choice about going to school so it’s not unreasonable to feel that you should at least be able to go to school without feeling like you’re going to die as a result. Instead, children are now regularly subjected to active shooter drills and encouraged to snitch on any classmates who seem to be troubled. Many are expected to start each day stepping through metal detectors while being eyeballed by security guards. While I support the second amendment, I’m not particularly a huge fan of the idea of teachers being told to come to school armed so they can gun down any potential threats. (Then again, when we have cops like the cowards in Uvalde, what choice do people have than to arm themselves?) School shootings are a terrifying thing but what is even more terrifying is that people are starting to get used to type this violence. It’s no longer an automatic shock to hear that there’s been a shooting at a school. Often times, the incidents are in and out of the news within days.

2019’s The 3 is a film that deals with the aftermath of a school shooting. One day, divorced dad Jimmy Collins (Jeff Armstrong) sends his daughter, Brittany (Kate Kilcoyne), out of the house and to school. He barely even says goodbye to her. A few hours later, Jimmy gets a call from ex-wife, Susan (Jessica Bell). Jimmy thinks that Susan is calling to yell at him about a late alimony check but instead, she tells him to turn on the news. There’s been a shooting at the school and, as we soon learn, Brittany is dead.

After the funeral, Jimmy wants to lock himself away from the world and basically drink himself into unconsciousness. (He refuses the comfort of the local pastor, despite the fact that the pastor’s wife is played by Tina Wesson, the winner of the second season of Survivor.) Instead, Jimmy is visited by three spirits. The first spirit is Jimmy’s Dad (Darryl Worley), who talks about the events that led to him committing suicide and who essentially dares Jimmy to follow the same path. The third spirit is …. well, he doesn’t give his name but the fact that he’s played by Jefferson Moore, the star of the Perfect Stranger series, should give the audience a clue as to who he is. And, appearing in between these two, is Brittany. Brittany talks about her short life and shares memories, both good and bad, with her father. She also tells her father that he has to let go of her but, of course, neither Jimmy nor Susan can bring themselves to do that.

It’s a well-acted and effective film. It’s certainly far more sensitive than you might expect from a film directed by the same guy who did Right to Believe. It’s a film that explores the horror of everyday violence and which makes its theological case without coming across as being overly preachy. That said, the film cheats a bit at the end, giving Jimmy an opportunity that doesn’t quite seem to go along with the film’s theme. It allows the film to have a happy ending but it still feels a bit like a cop out. That said, though, The 3 turned out to be far better than I was expecting.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Friday the 13th 1.3 “Cupid’s Quiver”

Posted on October 20, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th, a show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

Tonight’s episode is directed by a future Oscar nominee and a multiple Genie winner!

Episode 1.3 “Cupid’s Quiver”

(Dir by Atom Egoyan, originally aired on October 12th, 1987)

This week’s cursed antique is a statue of Cupid that shoots neon arrows at women and causes those targeted to fall madly in love with the statue’s owner. Unfortunately, the curse kicks in when the owner of the statue is then forced to murder the woman who is now in love with him. Yikes! What a mean statue.

When we first see the statue, it belongs to a frat boy who uses the statue at a club. After the frat boy is arrested for murder, possession of the statue falls to a total loser named Eddie Monroe (Denis Forest). Eddie is a janitor and groundskeeper at a local college. He’s the type of guy who hardly anyone ever notices and even those who do notice him think that he is a complete creep. Eddie is obsessed with a student named Laurie Warren (Carolyn Dunn), following her around campus and taking pictures of her. He’s even built an elaborate shrine to her in his apartment, one where he’s cut the heads off of the people that Carolyn was with and replaced them with his own head. (Double yikes!) Laurie, of course, wants nothing to do with Eddie.

Could Eddie’s new statue help him out? He hopes so and he even takes it to the club to test it on someone else beforehand. Eddie is determined to force Carolyn to love him, even if he’ll be required to kill her almost immediately afterwards. Fortunately, Ryan, Jack, and Micki are on campus, searching for the statue.

This episode is often cited as one of the best of the show’s run, largely because it was directed by a future Oscar nominee, Atom Egoyan. (Amongst Egoyan’s films: Exotica, The Sweet Hereafter, Felicia’s Journey and Where The Truth Lies.) It’s certainly not a bad episode, as Egoyan approaches the storyline with a sense of humor. The scenes of the frat boy and then Eddie wandering around with their cupid statue are more than a little silly and Egoyan seems to understand that. He does a good job contrasting the ludicrousness of the statue with the seriousness of the consequences of using it. The ultimate message is that both the statue and the men who carry it with them are more dangerous than they look.

I also enjoyed the scenes in which Ryan and a far more reluctant Micki went to a frat house to search for the statue. The frat house is a stereotypical den of debauchery, full of empty beers can and a black bra hanging from a ceiling fan. Ryan, not surprisingly, is right at home. Micki cannot wait to escape and I have to say that, as often happens when I watched episodes of this show, I definitely related to Micki. Watching Ryan and Micki wander through various frat parties in search of Eddie and his statue, I had to ask myself which is worse, a cursed antique or a fraternity?

Congratulations to the Diamondbacks!

Posted on October 20, 2023 by Dazzling Erin

A big congratulations to the Arizona Diamondbacks for beating the Phillies 5-6 and tying up the NLCS!

I really hope the Diamondbacks can maintain their momentum and win their conference because, just in case the Asstros do end up in the World Series, it’ll be at least easier for me to cheer against them if they’re playing against Arizona than if they’re playing against Philadelphia. If the Philadelphia and Houston end up in the World Series, I’ll have to cheer for Houston by default. If it’s Houston and Arizona, I’ve got some breathing room.

Of course, my main hope is that the Rangers will get it together and win the next two games of the ALCS!

Go Rangers!

Horror on TV: The Hitchhiker 5.23 “Dying Generation” (dir by Timothy Bond)

Posted on October 20, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight’s episode of The Hitchhiker features Roberta Maxwell as a fortune teller who, for five bucks, gives her clients a vision of the future and, as we all know, no one gets a happy ending. Maybe that’s why so many of her teenage clients end up committing suicide. Greg Spottiswood and Cynthia Preston play the two teens who decide to investigate how the fortune teller is involved in their friends death. This is an intriguing episode, featuring a good performance from Roberta Maxwell.

This episode originally aired on November 24th, 1989.

October Hacks: Intruder (dir by Scott Spiegel)

Posted on October 20, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 1989 film, Intruder, is often advertised as being a Bruce Campbell film but Bruce only appears in the final few minutes. I’m pointing this out because Bruce himself has criticized, in the past, the way that some distributors have used his name to promote Intruder and to fool potential viewers into thinking that Intruder features Ash or takes place S-Mart. Bruce Campbell’s chin-tastic profile is put to good use as a police officer who shows up at the scene of a very bloody crime but Intruder is hardly a Bruce Campbell movie.

What is Bruce doing in Intruder? It probably has something to do with the fact that Intruder was the directorial debut of Scott Spiegel, who co-wrote the script for Evil Dead II and who was a good friend of Sam Raimi’s. (That probably also explains the presence of Ted Raimi in a tiny role and Sam Raimi himself in a bigger role.)

That said, if you’re looking for a good and suspenseful slasher film to watch as Halloween approaches, you could certainly do worse than Intruder. Bruce Campbell may only appear in a cameo but the film itself is good enough that you’ll enjoy it while waiting for Bruce to make his appearance.

The film takes over the course of the night shift at a large but financially struggling grocery store. When cashier Jennifer Ross (Elizabeth Cox) is harassed by her ex-con boyfriend, Craig (David Byrnes), the entire night crew comes together to protect her and to chase Craig out of the store. The police are called but, when they finally do arrive at the store, they reveal that there’s not much they can do. With Craig still making angry phone calls to the store, the crew prepares for the next day of business. The store’s owners hold a store meeting and, after announcing how proud they are of the way the night crew handled the Craig situation, they announce that the store will be closing and soon, everyone will be out of a job.

No one is happy about that, with co-owner Bill (Dan Hicks) rather pathetically saying that the store was his entire life. That said, it doesn’t seem like anyone at the store is going to have much of a life left because someone is determined to kill the entire night crew before the sun comes up. Soon, the employees are dying in various bloody ways (and I do mean bloody!) and the storeroom is full of body parts. Has Craig returned? Could it be the butcher, played by Sam Raimi? Could it be one the owners? Or could it be some random intruder? Watch the film to find out.

Intruder is an effective slasher film, one that is fortunate to have an above average cast (with Elizabeth Cox especially giving a good performance), memorable characters who have a bit more depth than the jocks and cheerleaders who usually populate films like this, and an interesting location in the form of the dark and shadow-filled grocery store. Intruder also had a lot of very graphic horror. The gore effects were provided by the same people who would later work on The Walking Dead and I have to say that even I, being the Italian horror fan that I am, was a bit shocked by just how much blood ended up flowing down the aisles. If you’re scared of trash compactors, this film isn’t going to do anything to make you feel better about them.

Intruder is a superior slasher film. And hey …. Bruce Campbell’s in it for a minute!

The TSL Horror Grindhouse: Indecent Desires (dir by Doris Wishman)

Posted on October 20, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

An odd film, 1968’s Indecent Desires.

Directed by Doris Wishman, Indecent Desires tells the story of two people and a doll. Zeb (Michael Alaimo) is a pervy loser who is obsessed with Ann (Sharon Kent), the young secretary that he often sees while she’s on the way too work. Ann is a painfully normal (some might say boring) person, with an office job, a super dull boyfriend named Tom (Trom Little), and a wild best friend named Babs (Jackie Richards). Babs is the type who comes into the office and announces that she met a superfab guy the previous night, a guy named Monty who is “so continental.” Ann is the type who replies that she doesn’t trust anyone named Monty nor anyone who is continental.

(Like what the heck does that even mean?)

One day, pervy Zeb discovers a doll in a trash can and he takes it home with him. The doll bears a superficial resemblance to Ann, in that they’re both blonde. Whenever Zeb caresses the doll, Ann feels it. Whenever Zeb gets upset and slaps the doll, Ann feels it. When Zeb undresses the doll, Ann undresses. When Zeb discovers that Ann has a boyfriend, Ann feels Zeb’s anger.

YIKES!

It’s kept ambiguous as to whether or not Zeb knows that Ann can feel what he’s doing with the doll. There’s an odd scene where Zeb sees Ann on the street and she briefly turns into a giant version of the doll. It’s totally possible that Zeb is using the doll as his way to pretend to possess someone who he knows that he’ll never have the courage to actually approach. That adds a haunting ambiguity to the film’s final scene, as we’re left to wonder whether Zeb truly understands the consequences of his actions.

It’s tempting — perhaps a bit too tempting — to find a subversive subtext to the film’s exploitive story. Zeb may be obsessed with Ann but she barely notices him in the film. She doesn’t know that he exists but it’s not because she’s self-absorbed. She just has a life of her own with a career of her own and a boyfriend of her own and Zeb is not a part of her life. For Zeb, though, obsessing on Ann is his entire life and he is outraged that she doesn’t even know him. Fueled by misogyny and a sense of entitlement, Zeb uses the doll to exert his control over Ann and to finally keep her from being with anyone but him. Zeb can’t talk to a real woman but he can totally have a relationship with a plastic doll that has no opinions and, even more importantly, never changes or develops in any way. Of course, it’s debatable whether this subtext was deliberate or accidental. Sometimes, the rushed nature of the exploitation film basis led to some of the most subversive statements of all.

This film was directed Doris Wishman, who was the busiest female director of the sound era and, as a woman who made sexploitation films, a true groundbreaker. Clocking in at barely 75 minutes, Indecent Desires is definitely a Wishman film, from the stark black-and-white cinematography to the often skewed camera angles. There’s very little dialogue and what there is was obviously dubbed. There’s no ambient noise to be heard, giving the film a surreal and dream-like feel even before Zeb grabs the doll.

Indecent Desires is effective, low-budget paranoia fuel. It’s a film that will leave you to wonder who has been watching you and how many “dolls” they’ve collected.

The Astros Now Lead The ALCS

Posted on October 20, 2023 by Dazzling Erin

This game was painful!

The Rangers went into the ninth leading the Astros but then Jose Altuvie hit his 26th season post-season career home run and the score went from being 2-4, Rangers to 5-4, Astros. The Rangers always seem to struggle at home but the good news is that, lately, Houston has been struggling at their home too. The ALCS is returning to Houston so let’s hope the Rangers can turn things around. The Astros are one game away from returning to the World Series and, if they’re joined by the Phillies, it’ll be another years with two most hated teams in the league fighting it out in the World Series.

Normally, I’d cheer for Astros in that case but I might not this year. Not after Martin Maldonado deliberately hit Adolis Garcia with a pitch. Way to keep up classy, Houston. It would take a lot to make me support a team from Philadelphia but the Astros are really determined to help me do it.

Go Rangers!

The Eric Roberts Horror Collection: The Dead Want Women (dir by Charles Band)

Posted on October 20, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

2012’s The Dead Want Women opens in 1927.

At her luxurious Hollywood mansion, silent film star Rose Pettigrew (Jean Louise O’Sullivan) is throwing a party to celebrate the release of her new film. While her guests gossip about whether or not the coming of sound is going to end Rose’s career (since Rose’s voice does not fit her sultry image), Rose and three of her friends — cowboy star Sonny (Eric Roberts), scarred leading man Eric Burke (Robert Zachar), and overweight comedian Tubby (Nihilist Gelo) — slip into Rose’s underground dungeon and have an orgy with two flappers. Tubby has just murdered one of the flappers when Rose’s lawyer interrupts the orgy and announces that 1) Rose’s new film is a flop, 2) audiences love the new talkie, 3) the studio will no longer be producing silent films, and 4) Rose no longer has a contract with the studio. The shocked Rose shoots all of her friends and then slits her own throat in front of her horrified guests.

The film then jumps forward to 2012. Two real estate agents, Reese (Jessica Morris) and Danni (Arianna Medix), are getting the long-abandoned mansion ready for a prospecting buyer. They clean the mansion. They find Rose’s old necklace (which fell from her neck when she slit her throat), and they have a bottle of wine. Reese explains who Rose was while Danni says that she hates silent films. That night, the ghosts of Sonny, Eric, Tubby, and one of the flappers suddenly appear, looking to haunt the two real estate agent and ultimately drag them to Hell with all the other tormented spirits of silent Hollywood!

The Dead Want Women attempts to be a campy throwback to the old haunted house films of the 40s and the 50s, just with a lot more gore and nudity. Unfortunately, the film itself is rather slow. The 1927 opening drags on forever and, at one point, I actually groaned when Rose told her weaselly agent to repeat what he had just told her because it literally took five minutes for him to say it beforehand. As a lover of old Hollywood and film history, I appreciated the fact that the film used the coming of sound as the impetus for the haunting and I also liked the fact that the lecherous Tubby was obviously based on Fatty Arbuckle but otherwise, there really wasn’t much to The Dead Want Women. It was a standard Charles Band ghost story, with the emphasis more on boobs than scares.

On the plus side, Eric Roberts was an effectively evil cowboy ghost and some of the rotting flash makeup that was used on the ghosts was properly icky. But otherwise, this is a pretty forgettable film. Sorry, The Dead Want Women. You are not ready for your close-up.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

Donner Pass (2011, directed by Elise Robertson)

Posted on October 20, 2023 by Jedadiah Leland

A bunch of teenagers hang out in a house during one snowy weekend. It’s just too bad that the house is located near Donner Pass, the infamous Colorado location where George Donner ate several people while trapped by a blizzard. Legend has it that Old Man Donner is still out there, his spirit tracking down others dumb enough to get lost in the snow and eating them. And even if Old Man Donner doesn’t get them, what about the escaped criminal who is currently missing somewhere in the Colorado wilderness?

As far as the types of film are concerned, Donner Pass is okay. There is one creative kill, the film does feature an unexpected twist or two, and probably enough gore to keep the gorehounds happy. For those of us looking for something more than just gore, Donner Pass suffers from a lack of sympathetic characters. Other than Kaylee (played by Desiree Hall), all of the characters are either wimpy or just alcoholic jerks. There are some atmospheric night shots of the blizzard and the house is a great location but, since you don’t care about any of the characters it’s hard to get invested in the film. The Donner Party is one of those true stories that is so creepy that its true horror defies even the bloodiest of films.

Retro Television Reviews: T and T 1.21 “Private Eyes”

Posted on October 20, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, T.S. Turner searches for a missing teenage boy and finds Vernon Wells instead.

Episode 1.21 “Private Eyes”

(Dir by Stan Olsen, originally aired on May 30th, 1989)

“On tonight’s episode,” Mr. T informs us during the pre-credits, “the mob hunts for a young kid to prevent his father from testifying in court.”

Now, I understand that it’s tempting to roll your eyes at the mention of the mob, seeing as how this is a Canadian show. But what many Americans don’t know is that the Mafia is actually very active in Canada and they have been since the days of Prohibition. All that liquor that Al Capone was selling on the streets of Chicago? It came from Canada!

Tonight’s episode opens with Frank (Angelo Pedari), who has an impressive flat top, walking and then driving down the snowy streets of Canada. He’s on a mission to prevent a married couple from testifying in court. As the local mob boss puts it, the couple will be less likely to testify if their son is missing. Interestingly, these two important witnesses do not have any police assigned their house so Mr. Flaptop and his criminal associate are able to walk right in and announce that they’re taking young Steve (Noam Zylberman) hostage. In his bedroom, Steve overhears and slips out the window. The mobsters decide to chase after Steve as opposed to kidnapping (or doing something even worse) to his parents. I mean, if their goal is to keep the parents from testifying and Canada won’t even send a patrol car to check on the house, I’m not sure why the mob is wasting their time on some teenager.

At the courthouse, Officer Jones (Ken James) gives Amanda a picture of Steve and then asks if T.S. Turner can hit the streets and look for him. (So, why not just give the picture to Turner?) Turner agrees to look for the kid, even though he and Amy agree that they’re obviously only getting half the story.

Turner heads to down to the local pool hall, where the local pool hustler says that someone already came into the place looking for the kid. “He talked like that Alligator guy in the movie.”

“Australian!?” Turner asks, as if this is the first time that an Australian has ever been spotted in Toronto.

Now fully aware that there is an Australian searching for the kid, Turner reminds everyone in the pool hall to “call me” and not the Australian.

Who is the Australian? Why, it’s veteran screen tough guy, Vernon Wells! (Wells played played Wez in The Road Warrior.) In this episode, Vernon is playing Nigel and he is determined to find that kid. When T.S. stumbles across Nigel at the local Canadian high school, showing the students picture of Steven, Turner demands to know what’s going on.

“I’m not talking to you, mate!” Nigel replies.

“Yes, you are.” T.S. replies.

“No, I’m not!”

“Yes, you are!”

“No, I’m not!”

Okay, guys, come on now….

Eventually, the police are called and Nigel and T.S. are both dragged down to the police station.

“When I get out of these cuffs, my friend!” Nigel says to T.S.

“You ain’t my friend, brother!” T.S. replies.

Detective Jones tells them to stop both yelling at each other. He explains that Nigel has been hired by Steven’s parents to find their son. He suggests that T.S. and Nigel work together.

“I work alone,” Nigel says before storming out of the police station. However, Nigel changes his mind, returns, and says that maybe he and T.S. should work together.

“No hard feelings, mate?” Nigel asks.

“I guess not,” T.S. replies, “I can always beat on your later.”

“That won’t be a easy from a hospital bed, mate.”

“I ain’t your mate, brother.”

Guys, come on now. The machismo is getting almost overwhelming.

At the gym, T.S. and Nigel meet a taxi driver who gave Steve a ride to the hotel where he is currently hiding out. T.S. and Nigel decide to head over to the hotel but the mob has already learned where Steve is hiding out. (Somehow, Steve’s disguise of a trench coat and dark glasses has failed to fool anyone.)

While T.S. and Steve head over to the gym, Amy confronts Detective Jones about the fact that there was supposed to be a police car in front of Steven’s parents house on the day that Steven disappeared. Someone called off the car. Jones admits that there is a mafia informant in the police department and that’s why he had to hire T.S. to look for the kid. Jones demands to know where Amy got her information. Amy says that she never reveals her sources. Then Sophie (Catherine Disher) wanders into the office and reveals that she got the information from a guy in fingerprinting that she’s dating. Go Sophie!

Meanwhile, at the hotel, T.S. and Nigel discover that Steve is not in his room. Nigel suggests that maybe one of them should wait outside in case Steve returns.

“That’s a good idea, brother!” T.S. says.

“I’m not your brother,” Nigel replies.

Okay, guys, come on, everyone is supposed to be working together here….

Anyway, the kid and the mob show up at the same time so Nigel and Turner get to beat some people up and save the kid. Yay!

Steven’s parents testify against the mob and then enter Witness Protection, which I guess means moving from Toronto to North York. At the courthouse, Nigel and T.S. finally find something that they can agree on, American football.

“Greatest football team ever made!” T.S. announces.

“The Redskins!” Nigel agrees.

Uh-oh. Guys, you might want to stop bonding….

Anyway, this episode was actually kind of fun, due to the bickering between Mr. T and Vernon Wells. They made for a fun team. Once again, it doesn’t really do anyone any good to try to tell an hour’s worth of story in only 30 minutes but Vernon Wells made me smile. That’s the important thing!