Someday, when the humans sit down and try to figure out what led to the cats losing all respect for them and subsequently conquering the world, it will be because of days like this. It’s April Fools Day, a day when people express their love for each other by playing mean jokes and telling viscous lies. Today, thousands of people will briefly think they’ve gotten a promotion at work. Others will celebrate the news of an unexpected pregnancy or they’ll be shocked to learn that their cousin got married over the weekend. There’s going to be a lot of drama and, in the end, it’ll all end with someone yelling “April Fools!” That’s supposed to make it all okay.
Today will be a day of hurt feelings and anger so we here at the Shattered Lens suggest that you spend today watching a movie. Actually, we suggest that you watch at least four movies. Maybe even five. Just watch however many movies you need to watch in order to ensure that you have an excuse not to interact with anyone today. Stay off social media. Avoid twitter. For the love of God, don’t go anywhere near Facebook. Turn off your phone and don’t check your email.
Just watch the movies and make sure that your cat is properly taken care of. If ever there’s a day that should make you appreciate the straight-forward pragmatism of a cat, it should be today. In this history of this cursed holiday, no cat has ever been an April fool. To be an April fool, you have to make the mistake of caring about whether or not your cousin got married in Vegas over the weekend. Cats know better. Being a cat means never having to say that your sorry. It also means never falling for any human pranks.
Happy April Fools Day, everyone.
On this day, watch a movie. May I suggest starting with this one?