5 Heroes From Marvel’s Golden Age Who Deserve Their Own Movie

Posted on July 16, 2015 by Jedadiah Leland

Captain America is the best remembered and most prominent hero from the Golden Age of Marvel Comics (or, as the company was known back then, Timely Comics). One reason why Captain America: The First Avenger was so successful was because it exploited the nostalgia that audiences had for that golden age, a time when the world was united against the greatest evil known to man and there was no doubt who was fighting for good and who was fighting for evil.

However, Captain America was not the only Marvel super hero fighting gangsters and Nazis during the 1940s. If Marvel Studios ever decides to take another trip back to World War II, these five Golden Age heroes would be worthy additions to the MCU.

The Blonde Phantom

Created by Stan Lee and artist Syd Shores and first introduced in 1946, The Blonde Phantom was a part of Marvel’s post-war attempt to appeal to young female readers.

Originally from Hoboken, New Jersey, Louise Grant was the secretary to private detective Mark Mason. Bored with her job and in love with Mark, Louise would regularly grab a .45 caliber pistol, don the sultry disguise of the Blonde Phantom, and help her boss solve his cases. While Mark barely noticed his loyal secretary, he fell in love with the Blonde Phantom.

It would be tricky to reimagine the Blonde Phantom from a modern perspective but I think it could be done. Instead of emphasizing Louise’s unrequited crush on the sexist Mark, a modern Blonde Phantom film would focus on how becoming the Blonde Phantom allows Louise to discover her own inner strength. As Agent Carter proved, there is an audience for a strong female character in a period setting.

Claire Voyant

Introduced in 1940 and created by George Kapitan and Harry Sahle, Claire Voyant (who was also known as The Black Widow, long before the first appearance of Natasha Ramanoff) is considered to be the first costumed female super hero and also one of the darkest.

A medium, Claire is possessed by Satan and used to put a curse on the Wagler Family. After most of the family is killed in a car accident, the sole remaining Wagler shoots and kills Claire. Claire immediately goes to Hell, where Satan himself gives her the power to kill by simply touching her victim’s forehead. Satan then sends Claire back among the living, on a mission to kill evil doers so that Satan can claim their souls before they have a chance to repent and ask for forgiveness.

Along with her dark origin story and her flirtatious relationship with Satan, Claire Voyant was distinguished by both her lack of remorse when it came to killing and for having the sharpest eyebrows of almost any character from the Golden Age. As the star of her own MCU film, she would provide an interesting contrast to the wholesomeness of Captain America.

The Destroyer

A journalist-turned-spy, Keen Marlow was captured behind-the-lines in Nazi Germany. Held in a prison-of-war camp, Marlow met Prof. Eric Schmitt, an anti-Nazi German scientist who had created a serum that was similar to the one that was used to transform frail Steve Rogers into Captain America. After taking the serum, Marlow donned a mask and a dark costume and used his new powers to battle the Nazis from within Germany.

The Destroyer was a popular character during the Golden Age, though he was never as prominent as Captain America, The Human Torch, or the Submariner. The Destroyer became far more interesting when his origin was retconned in the 1970s and it was revealed the Keen Marlow was an alias used by British aristocrat Brian Falsworth. Before the start of World War II, Falsworth had been a prominent supporter of appeasement. By becoming The Destroyer, Falsworth both defended his country and sought redemption. When Falsworth eventually took on yet another costumed identity (Union Jack), his friend Roger Aubrey took over the role of the Destroyer.

The Destroyer was one of the first super hero characters to be created by Stan Lee. Not only is his origin similar to Captain America’s (Cap was introduced in March of 1941 and the Destroyer made his debut nine months later) but it is also a forerunner to Iron Man’s.

Namor the Submariner

Created by artist and writer Bill Everett, Namor was the son of human boat captain Leonard McKenzie and Fen, the daughter of the emperor of the undersea kingdom of Atlantis. As a hybrid, Namor had the ability to live under water but, with his human appearance, he could also go above the surface and safely mix with human society as well. While the arrogant and hot-tempered Namor had little use for humanity (with the exception of New York City policewoman Betty Dean), he did side with the Allies in the war against the Nazis.

Despite being a prominent member of the Marvel Universe for over 70 years, Namor has yet to even appear in a movie. Not only was he one of the most popular of the Marvel Golden Age heroes but his battle with the original Human Torch has regularly been cited as being the birth of the Marvel Universe. Unlike many Golden Age characters, Namor remains active today, sometimes fighting for humanity and sometimes trying to destroy it.

There have been efforts to make a movie about Namor but, so far, none of them have been successful. Marvel Studios president Kevin Feige has said that there are many deals and contracts that need to be sorted out before it can be definitely determined who owns the rights to the character. It will probably be a while before the Submariner swims to a theater near you.

The Phantom Reporter

The Phantom Reporter is actually Dick Jones, a former all-American fullback who was also a college boxing, wrestling, and fencing champion. As a reporter, Dick always tried to protect those who could not defend themselves. When he couldn’t help them as a journalist, he would put on a mask, a suit, and a cape and he would battle evildoers.

The Phantom Reporter only appeared in one Golden Age comic book, 1941’s Daring Mystery Comic Books #3. 65 years later, he was brought back as one of the lead characters in The Twelve, a limited series about a group of World War II super heroes who, after spending decades in suspended animation, are revived in the 21st Century. Returning to his career as both a costumed hero and a journalist, The Phantom Reporter also develops an unlikely relationship with Claire Voyant.

The perfect Phantom Reporter movie would be a cross between the screwball comedy of The Front Page and the heroics of Captain America. It would be a reminder that not all heroes have super powers. Some of them just have the desire to do the right thing.

Benny’s From Heaven: Jack Benny in THE HORN BLOWS AT MIDNIGHT (1945)

Posted on July 15, 2015 by gary loggins

Jack Benny claimed 1945’s THE HORN BLOWS AT MIDNIGHT killed his movie career. After rewatching it, I can’t understand why. This comedy/fantasy is just as good as any Bob Hope or Red Skelton film of the era. Yet the critics of the time savaged it, and Benny spent the rest of his life cracking jokes about what a turkey the movie was. I disagree, and think THE HORN BLOWS AT MIDNIGHT deserves a second look.

Jack plays Athanael, a third rate trumpeter playing third trumpet for a radio show sponsored by Paradise Coffee (“the coffee that makes you sleep”). Lulled to sleep himself by the dulcet tones of the show’s announcer, Athanael dreams he’s playing his trumpet in a heavenly orchestra. Beautiful harpist Elizabeth (Alexis Smith) recommends him to the chief angel (Guy Kibbee) for an important mission. It seems Earth has been acting up, with “persecution and hatred everywhere”, and The Big Boss (aka God) has decided to eliminate it. Athanael is sent to play “the first four notes of the Judgment Day Overture” precisely at midnight and signal the end of the world.

Our hero lands at a swank hotel, where he’s spotted by two fallen angels (Allyn Joslyn, John Alexander) who’re comfy with their corrupt lives. Athanael saves a desperate cigarette girl (Dolores Moran) from suicide and misses his chance to blow at midnight. He loses the trumpet when he can’t pay for a meal and Elizabeth is sent to straighten out the mess. The fallen angels conspire with a slick thief (Reginald Gardner) to steal the horn. A merry mix-up ends with everyone hanging from the hotel’s rooftop scrambling for the horn.

I won’t spoil the ending, but suffice it to say Athanael wakes from his dream to deliver the punchline. There are lots of historical and heavenly puns (seeing people jitterbugging on the dance floor, Athanael exclaims “I must tell St. Vitus about this”)and plenty of silly sight gags. The score by Franz Waxman adds to the fun, aided by music cues you’ll surely recognize from Warner Brothers’ Looney Tunes (an uncredited assist from cartoon maestro Carl Stalling).

The cast is loaded with comic actors like Franklin Pangborn, Margaret Dumont, ex-wrestler Mike Mazurki, and Hollywood’s favorite souse Jack Norton. And then there’s Jack. He’s perfect in the role, and his impeccable timing, comic delivery, and that unmistakable mincing walk are on full display. Director Raoul Walsh was better known for his tough, manly films (THE ROARING 20’S, HIGH SIERRA, WHITE HEAT), but handles the comedy with a sure hand.

While THE HORN BLOWS AT MIDNIGHT is no classic, it’s not as bad as you may have heard. It’s certainly not as bad as Jack Benny made it out to be all those years. He certainly got some mileage out of making fun of it, though. Watch and judge for yourself. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. Then again, I’m a huge Jack Benny fan, in case you haven’t guessed, so I may be a little biased.

Here’s the Trailer For Joy

Posted on July 15, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here’s the trailer for the latest David O. Russell/Jennifer Lawrence/Bradley Cooper/Robert De Niro film, Joy!

Joy is scheduled to be released in December, just in time for Oscar consideration and, judging from this trailer, it looks like it may just get it. After watching this, Joy has gone from being a film that I was barely aware of to being one of my most anticipated films of the year.

(That said, I still think the first trailer for American Hustle is the best trailer of Russell/Lawrence/Cooper/De Niro trilogy…)

Supermen dönüyor/The Return Of Superman (1979, dir. Kunt Tulgar)

Posted on July 15, 2015 by Valerie Troutman

Seeing as so many franchises are being continued this year and the next, I thought it would be fun to look at some of the knockoff and parodies of these films. I already covered Lady Terminator. While that was from Indonesia with American actors, this is from that glorious land of Hollywood blockbuster ripoffs: Turkey. People probably just refer to this as Turkish Superman and that’s fine because it came out the very next year after the Christopher Reeve film. However, I’ve done some poking around and I think I’ve found five other Turkish films with Superman or just the Flying Man. I believe I even found one that combines Superman and Batman into a single superhero. I hope I can find subtitles for that one.

By the way, see how Superman stands like he’s a living wall. Get used to it because you will see it a lot. He will frequently just stand there, take it, then quickly dispose of whoever has decided to waste their time trying to bring him down.

This Turkish Superman begins with Christmas ornaments against a black background. It’s supposed to be space, but they’re Christmas ornaments. Just look at them.

Superman comes from a Christmas ornament.

One of these ornaments is Krypton. It’s destroyed when “gasses that mixed suddenly caused explosions and wiped it out of the Universe.” Superman is sent away to make his way to Earth. Then Tayfun comes home to his family. In this one Clark Kent is a man named Tayfun. In short order, his family tells him how they found him and give him a green stone. He says he kind of already knew because this Superman is psychic. He types using telekinesis, but that’s later on. Now Superman sets off to follow where the stone leads him. It leads him into some Turkish caves that almost look like abandoned mines. Then a far cry from Marlon Brando appears to tell Superman he is his son.

Brando?

Yeah, he does also say he is Superman. I don’t think it’s the subtitles because he then goes on to talk about being from a race of Supermen. Don’t get me wrong, there are some issues with the subtitles. Tayfun smells his Mom’s food, says it’s great, then says I feel like starving. Papa Superman then lays out just how “strong, mighty, and virtuous” Superman is. Here it goes:

“The genious of King Solomon.
Hercules’ might…
Atlas patience…
Zeus’ health…
Achilles’ courage…
Mercury’s speed.”

These are your qualities says Papa Superman. What happened to faster than a speeding bullet and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound? Well, he can fly and he’s at least as fast as a speeding boat.

Thought it looked fake when Christopher Reeve flew? Look again. Now come the Lex Luthors. That’s right, there are two of them who work together. One is the main man and the other is his second. In this Superman the destruction of Krypton is known about and the Luthors want to turn Kryptonite into a weapon that can be fired at things to make them gold. (Full confession, it’s been many years since I watched the Reeve Superman.) Lois Lane…I mean Alev has a father who has some formulas that he needs. It’s a flimsy excuse to put her in danger so Superman has a reason to kick some butt. They try and kidnap her, so this happens.

Superman springs into action

I gotta admit, even though this is a Turkish knockoff, I was still excited to see that happen. I mean the bad guy told Alev “we’ll incubate you honey.” That’s just going too far and we need Superman to fly past bridges, factories, and buildings before showing up on the scene to save her. They drove her car into the back of a truck that they then send off to crash on it’s own on a mountain road. Superman shows up, sees it, and leaps into action literally. You might expect that he would just fly up to it and stop it with his bare hands, but no. He’s a practical Superman. He lands on the roof, gets into the driver’s side, and stops it.

The rest of the movie is just a series of the bad guys talk, Alev is put in danger, and Superman rescues her until he finally stops the Luthors altogether. With that in mind, let’s just look at a few of the highlights.

Superman is a perv

He can catch bullets

Knife to the back? No problem!

Superman laughs at threats to “bisect” him

A test of strength

I could go on with more great shots, but let’s wind down. I have to mention the music. The Superman theme is used several times, but there’s something you wouldn’t expect. How about some music from James Bond movies. No joke. You’ll recognize them immediately.

At this point, I am sure you have three big questions on your mind:

Q. Does Superman hit anyone so hard they fly into the air?
A. Yes, he flies right up in the air and grabs onto a tree branch.

Q. Once the bad guys get the info they need to create their weapon that turns things into gold, then do they try it on a cat?
A. Yes, but the cat walks off target and they miss.

Q. Since we know the Turks do the greatest death scene faces, is there a comparable one here?
A. Yes!

Almost looks like you caught him doing something naughty, but actually Superman just hit him and he’s going down.

Superman does get briefly stopped by the Kryptonite, but it’s ultimately just an excuse so Tayfun can reveal to Alev that he is Superman. Superman catches up with Luthor #1 and lifts the back of his car like Schwarzenegger in Twins. Then he squares off with him in a scene that reminded me of the final standoff in Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins. Except Superman doesn’t dodge any bullets. He simply grabs his arm, takes the gun, crushes the gun, and turns him over to the authorities. They all want Superman to stay, but apparently he must leave to “search for my country Krypton which disappeared seven light years ago.” There’s so much wrong with that sentence.

I liked it! I was a little disappointed that they didn’t take more liberties with the character. I want to see something akin to Darth Vader turning into a scorpion in Star Wars on the Famicom. The question is whether it is worth your time? I think that’s an especially important question when it comes to these kinds of movies. It’s not as good as Lady Terminator, which is definitely worth seeing. This is camp, cheese, and low budget. However, since it is Superman, there is something special about seeing him in something so familiar and yet different. It’s only a little over an hour so it won’t take up too much time. Check it out.

The look on my face when I discovered there are things like a Mexican Batwoman, Filipino Batman, and Turkish Batman.

Note: I would have loved if the upcoming Superman movies had a cameo appearance from the Turkish Superman, but unfortunately he is dead. In fact, he died one year before Reeve passed away. Also, I am well aware of the unfortunate first name of the director and the last name of the actress who plays Superman’s Mom: Kunt and Çokseker.

Val’s Movie Roundup #2: Hallmark Edition

Posted on July 14, 2015 by Valerie Troutman

Signed, Sealed, Delivered: From Paris With Love (2015) – Despite what people say elsewhere online, you can’t come into this film without having seen any of the other Signed, Sealed, Delivered TV Movies/Episodes. I know this because I tried and it doesn’t work. The movie is about four people (conveniently picked so we know that they should pair off) who get dead letters and track down who should have received them. Sounds like it should be a procedural, but it’s not. This series seems to set up a tiny little bit of a plot, then spends the whole time having the characters develop through conversation. The reason this film will lose people who are brand new is because it reaches all the way back through everything to the first episode of the show to bring Oliver’s (Eric Mabius) wife into his life again. The wife is played by Poppy Montgomery in a role far better than in Tammy and the T-Rex. Yeah, I’m going to work that movie into as many reviews as possible. There are also flashbacks. You really need to come to this as the culmination of all the previous stuff. As a result, my experience with this film was not good. It felt inert. Kind of like passing away slowly, but painlessly. I know that sounds brutal, but I can’t think of a better way to describe it.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered for Christmas (2014) – This Signed, Sealed, Delivered is a different beast. It’s still the same characters and once again a dead letter has shown up. This time it’s a letter for God. You’d think it’s for Santa considering Christmas is in the title, but this is less a Christmas movie as it is a Christian movie. Unlike From Paris With Love, you can come into this without knowing anything. That’s a real plus! Again, it’s not about plot, but character development. And subtle slow development at that. I wonder how long Hallmark is planning to keep this show going. It can feel like being teased at times. Like near the end when Norman (Geoff Gustafson) reaches up to gently touch Rita’s (Crystal Lowe) face. You know she should just grab him in her arms, but it never happens. Instead, he walks away while she is lit up like a Christmas tree. If you have to choose between the two TV Movie episodes of this show to start with, then please start with this one. You’ll have a far better time, and most likely will enjoy From Paris With Love much more than I did.

Surprised By Love (2015) – When the cake gets destroyed, just make a new one from Twinkies! There’s nothing really to be surprised about here. You have a driven girl with the wrong guy. You have one of those guys who achieved some sort of nirvana by wandering from place to place. He’s kind of like the magic negro or magic eccentric type character that turns around other people’s lives simply by coming in contact with them. And finally, you have her boyfriend who is stuffy and clearly doesn’t belong with her. Our heroine runs into the magic man who is selling driftwood. Yeah, and his car runs on vegetable oil. I’m not making that up. What happens is that her boyfriend thinks it will be really clever if she brings home the magic man, whom she knows from high school, to be an embarrassment so he looks wonderful. Guess what happens? At least the grandpa who pretends to have dementia so he doesn’t have to talk to anybody is kind of funny. This one’s harmless.

Nearlyweds (2013) – Yeah, that’s easily the best scene in the movie. A phone call comes in with a job offer and while the person is leaving a message, the dog pees on the phone and it shorts out. But let me back up. This movie is about three girlfriends who all got married around the same time by the same guy. Problem though, he dies before he can sign the paperwork. That means, technically, legally, they’re not actually married. Typical, but could be humorous. Except it’s not. One of the big problems is that the husbands don’t find out about this until 48 minutes into the movie. At that point there are 39 minutes left. I don’t know why it takes so long. Everything prior seems like filler, then the secret is out, and still next to nothing happens. I know it’s Hallmark and a TV Movie in general, but they really should have done more with this. It’s not a concept that’s necessarily doomed from the start. Too bad.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #130: Double Daddy (dir by Lee Friedlander)

Posted on July 14, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

OMG, I'm tired. It might be nap time and by nap time, I mean that I'll see everyone tomorrow morning.

— Lisa Marie Bowman (@LisaMarieBowman) July 14, 2015

Why was I tired enough to tweet that? Because late last night, after a very long day of work and dance, I rewatched the Lifetime original movie Double Daddy.

Why Was I Watching It?

I’m still in the process of trying to clear up space on my DVR. So, last night, as I battled my need for sleep, I forced myself to rewatch a Lifetime film from June so that I could review it and erase it. I didn’t care much for Double Daddy the first time that I watched it and the second time, I cared for it even less.

And, of course, because I stayed up to watch it a second time, I was exhausted for most of today. Bleh.

What Was It About?

BLEH!

Okay, I guess that doesn’t tell you much. Connor (Cameron Palatas) is a high school jock who, at the start of the film, is drunkenly stumbling around the most boring high school party ever. New girl Heather (Brittany Curran) ends up having a one night stand with him. As a result, Heather gets pregnant. At the same time, Connor’s girlfriend, Amanda (Mollee Gray), discovers that she’s pregnant as well!

That’s right — Connor’s about to be a double daddy!

Of course, since this is a Lifetime film, Heather is also a psycho who carries a knife and starts to plot Amanda’s death…

It all probably sounds more interesting than it actually is.

What Worked?

I was tempted to say that nothing worked about Double Daddy but that’s not quite true. Brittany Curran was memorably demented in the role of Heather. In fact, she gave such a good performance that I found myself rooting for Heather, regardless of how much of a murderous psycho she eventually turned out to be. Heather may have been crazy but at least she wasn’t boring.

What Did Not Work?

I’m just going to say it: of the many Lifetime films that I’ve watched over the years, Double Daddy is one of my least favorite. No, it’s not as bad as The Unauthorized Saved By The Bell Story but then again, what is? With the exception of Brittany Curran, the performances are dull and the actors get no help from a script that is both heavy-handed and simple-minded.

Perhaps worst of all, there’s a nasty strain of slut shaming that runs through Double Daddy. Amanda and Heather are held to different standards while Connor is held to no standard at all. Judgmental and bland Amanda is presented as being saintly, largely because she only has sex with a serious boyfriend and presumably only after finishing her homework. Heather, on the other hand, becomes pregnant as the result of a drunken one night stand and, perhaps not surprisingly, is also portrayed as being a complete psycho who eventually tries to murder Amanda. While we’re obviously meant to feel sorry for Amanda, the film allows absolutely no sympathy for Heather. Completely absolved of any responsibility is Connor, who we are actually supposed to feel sorry for because crazy Heather is keeping him from being with Amanda, the same girl that he previously cheated on! BLEH!

As well, let’s consider the fact that saintly Amanda and victimized Connor both come from typical upper class Lifetime families while Heather is the only character to come from a lower class background.

Seriously, exploring the subtext of Double Daddy is not a pleasant activity.

What makes all this especially upsetting is that Double Daddy was directed by Lee Friedlander, who previously directed the brilliant Babysitter’s Black Book.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Much like Heather, I always used school field trips as an excuse to go off on my own. I never pulled a knife on anyone though.

Lessons Learned

We live in a twisted and hypocritical world.

4 Shots From 4 Films: The Seventh Seal, Persona, Scenes From A Marriage, Fanny And Alexander

Posted on July 14, 2015 by Jedadiah Leland

Happy birthday, Ingmar Bergman.

4 Shots From 4 Films

The Seventh Seal (1957, directed by Ingmar Bergman)

Persona (1966, directed by Ingmar Bergman)

Scenes From A Marriage (1973, directed by Ingmar Bergman)

Fanny and Alexander (1982, directed by Ingmar Bergman)

Forget The Gallows

Posted on July 14, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The new horror film The Gallows is pretty dire. It’s boring, it’s forgettable, and – worst of all – it’s not really scary. And yet, I would argue that The Gallows is actually providing a fairly valuable service for horror films lovers.

The Gallows is a found footage horror movie and sometimes, it’s easy to forget just how bad found footage horror movies can be. Every once and a while, a film will be released that actually makes good use of the whole found footage gimmick. Movies like The Last Exorcism, Devil’s Due, Apollo 18, and Unfriended are all good horror films but, at the same time, it’s important to remember that they are the exception to the rule. The Gallows may be a total crapfest but it’s a necessary evil because it serves to remind us of why so many horror films have gone to hate found footage films.

As for The Gallows itself, it tells a story that will be familiar to anyone who has seen a horror film. 20 years ago, during a high school production of a play called The Gallows, a student named Charlie was accidentally hanged. Now, in the present, the school is commemorating the anniversary by putting on another production of The Gallows and…

Excuse me?

Yes, I know that makes no sense. What can I tell you? This is a crappy film.

Anyway, Charlie’s role is being played by a kid named Reese but Reese doesn’t really want to be in the play. He’s just doing it because he has a crush on his co-star, Pfieffer. So, Reese’s obnoxious jock friend, Ryan, suggests that they should break into the school at night and trash the set. That way, the play will be canceled and Reese can comfort Pfieffer. Reese agrees and…

What was that you asked?

Yes, the film really is that stupid.

So, Reese, Ryan, and Ryan’s girlfriend Cassidy break into the school and trash the set. However, before they can really get into destroying stuff, Pfieffer shows up and demands to know what they’re doing. And then suddenly the doors slam shut and everyone’s trapped in the school and hey, there’s the evil spirit of Charlie and he wants to hang everyone…

But guess what!

Charlie’s not just a random evil spirit, seeking out anyone foolish enough to break into the school at night. If that was the case, he might actually be scary. No, Charlie actually has a backstory and a much more complicated motive for wanting to kill everyone. And I’m not going to spoil the film for anyone who wants to see it so I’ll just say this.

Charlie’s motives? They’re really, really stupid.

And, of course, the whole film is found footage! So, once again, we get the whole shaky cam thing and people saying stuff like, “Are you filming?” and all the rest. And, of course, all of the characters share the same first name as their actors because … well, I’m not sure what the point of that is exactly. It’s not like we’re going to be fooled into thinking that we’re watching an actual event. There have been way too many crappy found footage films released recently for anyone to fall for that.

Admittedly, I did jump once or twice while watching The Gallows. But any horror film can get me to jump once or twice. The Gallows is a boring and listless film but, at the very least, it does serve as a warning.

Beware found footage horror films. They promise much yet rarely do they deliver.

Beach Blanket Bummers: SURF PARTY and WILD ON THE BEACH

Posted on July 13, 2015 by gary loggins

American International Pictures created a whole new film genre with the release of BEACH PARTY (1964). The formula was simple: take a group of attractive youngsters and put them on a beach with plenty of sand, surfing, and singing. Add in some romance and comedy. Sprinkle with veteran character actors and the latest pop idols and voila! Hollywood took notice of AIP’s success and studios big and small grabbed their surfboards trying to ride the box-office waves. 20th Century Fox was the first to jump on the hodad-wagon with SURF PARTY (1964), followed quickly by WILD ON THE BEACH (1965).

SURF PARTY begins with beautiful coeds Terry, Sylvia, and Junior arriving from Arizona to the California coast for some summertime fun. Terry (Patricia Morrow of PEYTON PLACE fame) has a brother named Skeet who heads a local gang of surfers called The Lodge. The girls meet surfing instructor Len (pop crooner Bobby Vinton) who gives them lessons and falls for Terry. Lodge wannabe Milo tries to run the pier, despite warnings from police Sgt. Neal (Richard Crane, TV’s ROCKY JONES SPACE RANGER). Neal threatens to close the beach to surfers if these dangerous antics continue. Milo busts his shoulder crashing into a pylon, but sympathetic Junior (singer Jackie DeShannon) sticks by his side. The gang hangs out at Casey’s Surfer, where bands The Routers and The Astronauts play Ventures rip-offs. Sylvia (Lory Patrick, best known as Disney star Dean Jones’s wife) has eyes for Skeet. He throws a party which ends up in a fight between him and Len. Skeet eventually gets his comeuppance, and the girls go back to Arizona supposedly older but wiser.

The problem with SURF PARTY is the film takes itself waaay too seriously. It plays like a throwback to the old 50s hot rod movies, with surfing replacing cars. The black and white cinematography doesn’t do much for the California background, but the music’s okay, with Vinton in especially fine voice on “If I Were An Artist”.

While SURF PARTY strives to be dramatic, WILD ON THE BEACH thinks it’s funny. It’s not. To call the humor ‘strained’ is like saying Andre the Giant was kinda tall. Also photographed in black and white, this one focuses on the antics of Adam (minor singer Frankie Randall) and his pals when they’re forced to share a beach house with Lee (Sherry Jackson of MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY) and her friends because of a housing shortage in their seaside college town. Dean Parker is suspicious of “‘hanky-panky” going on at the house and sends his bumbling assistant Terwilliger to investigate. Living next door is record producer Shep Kirby (character actor Russ Bender, who even sings a country ditty called “Yellow Haired Woman”). When Shep hears a recording of The Astronauts (yep, they’re back), he’s eager to sign them up. Then the dean and his sidekick pull an early morning raid and catch the coeds cohabitating. Expulsions are threatened, but Shep saves the kids by offering his pad to the guys, and the girls can stay at the beach house. Everybody’s happy and dance away to The Astronauts tune “Little Speedy Gonzales”.

The only thing notable about this turkey is the screen debut of Sonny & Cher singing “It’s Gonna Rain”. Otherwise WILD ON THE BEACH is completely forgettable. Both films were directed by Maury Dexter, a low-budget hack whose only interesting movie was THE MINI-SKIRT MOB, about a gang of female biker on the loose. The two flicks have all the trappings of the AIP beach epics, but none of the charm. Where’s Frankie and Annette when we need them? Not to mention the great Eric Von Zipper!!!

Appreciating Ray Bradbury’s The Martian Chronicles

Posted on July 13, 2015 by Jedadiah Leland

First published in 1950, Ray Bradbury’s The Martian Chronicles is a collection of 28 short stories about humans exploring and colonizing Mars while those left behind on Earth destroy each other in a never-ending atomic war. When I first read it back in middle school, it blew my mind. When I reread it this weekend, I discovered that it still holds up. 65 years after first being published, The Martian Chronicles is still a classic of American literature.

When Ray Bradbury died in 2012, many obituaries called him a “science fiction writer.” Bradbury always resisted that label, saying in one interview, “First of all, I don’t write science fiction. I’ve only done one science fiction book and that’s Fahrenheit 451, based on reality. It was named so to represent the temperature at which paper ignites. Science fiction is a depiction of the real. Fantasy is a depiction of the unreal. So Martian Chronicles is not science fiction, it’s fantasy. It couldn’t happen, you see? That’s the reason it’s going to be around a long time – because it’s a Greek myth, and myths have staying power.” There is very little science to be found in The Martian Chronicles. Humans travel between Earth and Mars via rockets and the trip only takes a matter of days. Characters frequently ride boats down the water-filled Martian canals. Humans have little trouble breathing on Mars and only occasionally complain about the thin atmosphere. Bradbury is not interested in Mars as a real place. Instead, he uses Mars as a way to explore what humanity would do if given a second chance.

The humans who come to Bradbury’s Mars all have one thing in common. All of them are fleeing an imperfect Earth. Some, like the members of the first three expeditions, come to Mars as explorers. Some, like the troubled Jeff Spender, seek to learn from Martian civilization. Others, like Sam Parkhill, come to Mars to make money. Fathers Peregrine and Stone come to Mars in search of a new world in which to spread the word of God. Mr. Stendahl comes to Mars to escape government oppression. Others come to escape the wars of Earth. Throughout The Martian Chronicles, characters deal with issues that are just as relevant today as they were in 1950. Bradbury’s vision of human society is not a positive one, especially when compared to his Martians.

All of the short stories are linked by the human characters’ struggle to come to terms with Martian society. After killing the members of the first three expeditions, the Martian race is wiped out by chicken pox, a disease that did not exist on Mars until the arrival of the humans. Only a few survive and go into hiding, watching as human move into their old cities and set up their own civilization. Ghost-like, the Martians and their dead society haunt every story in The Martian Chronicles.

There are a few stories in The Martian Chronicles that have not aged well. The Silent Towns, in which a man named Walter Gripp is horrified to discover that one of the last women left on Mars is overweight, is a mean-spirited and unpleasant story to read. But the collection’s best stories — And The Moon Be Still As Bright, The Third Expedition, Usher II, The Off Season, The Million-Year Picnic, Night Meeting, and especially There Will Come Soft Rains — still hold up as entertaining and thought-provoking works of speculative fiction.

In 1980, The Martian Chronicles was turned into a miniseries. I will be watching and reviewing it later this week.