Writing In An Angry World

Posted on July 28, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I was planning on writing a lot of film reviews today. After all, I am definitely running behind. I’ve recently seen everything from Lavalantula to Trainwreck to The Stanford Prison Experiment and I promise that, within the next few days, I will get around to reviewing all of them.

But right now, I am having a hard time getting my mind to focus. Indulge me, if you will, in a few off-topic thoughts:

We live in an angry world. Fortunately, there is often enough good out there to allow us to maintain some sort of hope in the face of the bad. But this week…oh my God, this week. I find myself dreading going on twitter because my timeline is full of hatred. It’s being spewed by people on both sides of the political and cultural divide and none of it is really designed to debate an issue or change anyone’s mind. Instead, it’s simply a celebration of just how capable and imaginative we, as a species, are when it comes to finding excuses to hate one another.

Sometimes, it becomes too much to handle. It’s infuriating. It’s depressing. It’s exhausting. I can understand why my fellow TSL writer, Viktor VonGlum, takes occasional breaks from all forms of social media.

I think, ultimately, the main reason all of the twitter fights and the angry Facebook memes and the internet trolling gets to me is because it all feels so pointless. It’s depressing that there are apparently thousands of people out there who believe that tweeting out a picture of some smirking comedian talking about what he thinks Jesus would do is somehow the equivalent of true political activism. The whole idea that any of this is being done to make the world a better place is a fantasy. Instead, it’s simply a reflection of the fact that we live in an angry and hateful world. Nobody’s mind is going to be expanded. Nothing is going to be accomplished. Nothing is going to be changed. And nothing is ever going to get better. And let’s be honest, here — the majority of twitter activists don’t want to change the world. If the world ever became more like the one they claim to want, they would lose their excuse for being angry and hence, their reason for existing.

That’s why I usually refuse to comment on politics on twitter. That’s why, whenever any of my friends on Facebook send out a political meme, I usually choose to hide the post. Me, sign a petition? Unless it’s related to film preservation, don’t count on it…

Or, at least, that’s what I would have said until earlier today. That was when I read about the death of Cecil the Lion. Cecil was a 13 year-old lion who lived in Zimbawe’s Hwange National Park. Since 1999, Cecil had been a part of a study conducted by scientists from Oxford University. Known for being a particularly friendly lion, Cecil was something of a national icon in his home country.

Earlier this month, an American tourist killed Cecil the Lion. Working with two accomplices, this hunter used meat to lure Cecil away from the safety of the park. He then shot Cecil with a bow and arrow. When that failed to kill Cecil, this hunter spent 40 hours tracking Cecil. When he found the wounded Cecil, he shot and killed him with a rifle. Cecil was then skinned and beheaded. To the hunter, Cecil was just another trophy. Cecil’s cubs have now been left without a father and will probably be killed as other male lions seek to take over Cecil’s pride.

Well, when I read that story, I finally had enough. I was finally as pissed off as everyone else on twitter. And I did something that I have never done before. I signed a petition over at Whitehouse.gov, demanding that the American tourist be extradited to face poaching charges in Zimbawe. And if the story of Cecil’s death pissed you off as much as it did me, I would ask you to consider signing as well. Here’s the link.

(As someone who believes in as little government as possible, I am as shocked as anyone by the fact that I’m petitioning the government to actually do something.)

Thank you for your consideration and for indulging me in this little off-topic rant.

Cecil The Lion, R.I.P.

Gods of the Hammer Films: Peter Cushing, Christopher Lee, and THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN (1957)

Posted on July 28, 2015 by gary loggins

cracked rear viewer

When Britain’s Hammer Films began in the early 1930’s they were just another movie production company. After finding some success with the 1955 sci-fi adaptation THE QUARTERMASS EXPERIMENT, they chose to make a Gothic horror based on Mary Shelley’s classic 1818 novel about a man obsessed with creating artificial life. FRANKENSTEIN had been filmed many times before, most notably Universal’s 1931 version that brought eternal fame to Boris Karloff. This time however, the producers shot in vibrant color, with blood and body parts on gory display. Tame stuff compared to today’s anything goes horrors, but in the fifties it was considered quite shocking.

Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee had appeared in two films before, Lawrence Olivier’s 1948 HAMLET and John Huston’s 1952 MOULIN ROUGE, though not as a team. Once CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN was unleashed upon the public, they were paired another nineteen times, making Cushing and Lee terror’s all-time tandem. HORROR OF DRACULA came next, with…

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Film Review: Atomic Cyborg/Hands of Steel (1986, dir. Sergio Martino)

Posted on July 28, 2015 by Valerie Troutman

Paco Queruak (Daniel Greene)

I already looked at The Terminator (1984) knockoff film Lady Terminator, but there are many Terminator inspired movies. What makes Atomic Cyborg stand out is that it takes The Terminator and adds that much loved past time of arm wrestling. If you hadn’t seen this in 1986, then you would have had to wait till the arm wrestling greeting in Predator (1987) and Stallone in Over The Top (1987). Actually, the arm wrestling is pretty ridiculous.

The movie begins with Paco (Daniel Greene) going to kill a guy. At this point, we really don’t know anything. Paco tries to kill this guy, but fails. It soon emerges that a bad guy played by John Saxon sent Paco, who is a cyborg. Paco flees to Arizona and takes up residence at a bar with a woman named Linda (Janet Agren). Apparently, arm wrestling is big in these parts. Paco doesn’t engage in it at first, but after receiving a message on a roll of toilet paper, this happens, and it’s go time!

Meanwhile, the cops are trying to figure out what weapon was used to attack the good guy. They don’t know it was Paco. In fact, them trying to figure it out provides the film with one of it’s funniest scenes. The computer displays an image of the weapon and possible objects it could be. I totally look at that and see an ashtray, don’t you?

Clearly that shape is anything but a hand

Meanwhile, the bad guys are also searching for Paco. You see, Paco isn’t a cyborg in the same way as The Terminator. The Terminator is a machine with biological parts added to create a cyborg. Paco is like RoboCop in that he is a human that, according to him, is made up of 70% machine. That’s why he wasn’t able to carry out his mission. It’s also why he is able to be provoked, form a bond with Linda, and be tricked into a trap under the pretense that some kids need to be saved. They are pissed that he has failed them.

There really isn’t anything else to the movie. I know I say that a lot, but that’s the case with many of the films I watch. They’re pretty simple. While Paco arm wrestles, the good guys try to figure out what happened while the bad guys search for Paco. Here’s a few highlights though. I always feel it’s important to show you, rather than just try and use words. Otherwise, it’s like trying to describe to something living in 2D what it’s like in three dimensions.

The movie is made by Italians, so of course the beat the hero up scene that came into Spaghetti Westerns via Yojimbo is here.

The rattlesnake arm wrestling scene.

Repairs

Clearly, this Atari 2600 game will help them find Paco.

Lady Atomic Cyborg

All I can say is, it’s fun. I wouldn’t go out of my way to see it, but it’s enjoyable. I do love the ending screen.

A Baad Asssss Cyborg Is Coming To Collect Some Dues?

There are two behind the scenes things worth mentioning. First, if you look up Daniel Greene who played Paco, you will find that he seems to be a favorite of the Farrelly brothers. He’s in many of their films from Kingpin on. Second, John Saxon’s co-star Claudio Cassinelli was killed in a helicopter crash while filming in Arizona. Since this movie wasn’t a union picture, John Saxon followed SAG guidelines and shot all his scenes in Italy. He credits SAG with saving his life because he figures he would have been on the helicopter in Arizona if he hadn’t followed the rules. At least this is according to IMDb.

4 Shots From 4 Films: The Goddess, Last Year at Marienbad, Berlin Alexanderplatz, Raise the Red Lantern

Posted on July 27, 2015 by Valerie Troutman

Four beautiful and talented actresses.

Ruan Lingyu in The Goddess (1934, dir. Yonggang Wu)

Delphine Seyrig in Last Year at Marienbad (1961, dir. Alain Resnais)

Barbara Sukowa in Berlin Alexanderplatz (1980, dir. Rainer Werner Fassbinder)

Gong Li in Raise the Red Lantern (1991, dir. Zhang Yimou)

In Praise of Seinfeld’s Joe Bookman

Posted on July 27, 2015 by Jedadiah Leland

Lt. Joe Bookman is a cop. He works for the New York Public Library, helping to track down delinquents who vandalize books and fail to pay their late fees. Yes, the library cop is named Bookman but he has already heard all the jokes.

1971. That was Bookman’s first year on the job. Bad year for libraries. Bad year for America. Hippies burning library cards. Abbie Hoffman telling everyone to steal books. Bookman doesn’t judge a man by the length of his hair or the type of music that he listens to. Rock and roll was never his bag. But he’ll make sure you put on a pair of shoes before you step into the New York Public Library, fella!

You know that little stamp, the one that says “New York Public Library?” That may not mean anything to you but it means a lot to Joe Bookman. One whole hell of a lot. Why would Bookman make such a big stink over old library books? Here’s a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Sure, we’re too old to change the world. But what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee pees and wee wees on The Cat In The Hat and The Five Chinese Brothers? Doesn’t he deserve better?

Of the many odd characters who appeared on the sitcom Seinfeld, Joe Bookman (played by Philip Baker Hall) remains one of the most popular. Unlike Kramer’s lawyer Jackie Chiles or Larry David’s impersonation of George Steinbrenner, Mr. Bookman only appeared in two episodes. He had a cameo in the series finale and, before that, he appeared in the third season episode, The Library. The scene where Bookman mercilessly grills Jerry Seinfeld about whether or not Seinfeld returned Tropic of Cancer is a classic, with Hall playing the dogged library cop like a modern-day Inspector Javert and Seinfeld obviously struggling not to laugh.

Seinfeld was famously described as being a show about nothing. What set Lt. Bookman apart from the show’s regular characters was that he believed in something. Joe Bookman believed in the sanctity of the New York Public Library. He was an old-fashioned man with a code of honor, the type of man who take a bullet to save a book.

When he first appeared in 1991, Bookman was already angry about the way the world was changing around him. He is probably even less happy today. Where is Joe Bookman right now? Maybe he’s retired and sitting on a beach, drinking a piña colada and reading Henry Miller. Maybe. But I like to believe that he is still on the job, collecting fines and searching for overdue books.

Whatever Bookman is doing now, he will always be there in syndication, reminding us to put our shoes on before stepping into the library and to return our books on time.

Book Review: How To Be A Superhero by Mark Edlitz

Posted on July 27, 2015 by Jedadiah Leland

Who has not wanted to be a super hero? When I was growing up, I wanted to be an X-Man until I realized that I would rather be the first American to play the Doctor on Doctor Who. Over the years, many actors and actresses have actually gotten to be super heroes on both the small and big screen. Some of them, like Hugh Jackman, became stars as a result. Others, like Adam West and anyone who has ever played Superman, spent the rest of their career dealing with being typecast. Of course, a few, like George Clooney, were lucky to survive the experience with any sort of career at all.

In the new book How To Be A Superhero, Mark Edlitz interviews 30 actors, asking them what it was like to be a hero and how the experience changed (or did not change) their lives and careers. Edlitz is a good interviewer and all of the conversations are full of interesting tidbits and trivia but what really sets this book apart is the wide variety of people who Edlitz interviews.

While Edlitz interviews everyone who you would expect to be interviewed in a book like this (Adam West, The Adventures of Superman’s Jack Larson, Dean Cain, Clark Gregg, Tom Hiddleston, and others), he also finds the time to speak to and acknowledge some of the lesser known heroes. John Wesley Shipp and John Haymes Newton (who, in the early 90s, respectively played The Flash and Superboy) both share bittersweet memories of only getting to play their iconic heroes for one season. Helen Slater reflects on playing the title character in 1984’s Supergirl. In one of the book’s best interviews, Nicholas Hammond talks about playing Spider-Man on TV in the 1970s and how, as a result of getting into the role, he once tried to foil an actual mugging. The cast of Roger Corman’s Fantastic Four share their disappointment when they discovered that their movie was never going to be released. Even Chip Zien, who voiced Howard the Duck, offers up a few less-than-positive memories.

Not everyone that Edlitz interviewd wore a costume. Leonard Nimoy, in one of his final interviews, assures Edlitz that Spock would win a fight against Kirk. George Lazenby talks about coming to terms with the experience of briefly being James Bond. Roger Moore’s memories are much more light-hearted.

Edlitz also speaks with some of the people who worked behind the scenes. Especially interesting is his interview with screenwriter Tom Mankiewicz, who talks about what it was like to write for both James Bond and Superman. Among many other stories, Mankiewicz tells how he introduced Sean Connery and Christopher Reeve at a party. When Reeve asked what he should do if Superman turned out to be a hit, Connery advised him to hire a good lawyer and sue the producers for more money.

Insightful and always enjoyable to read, How To Be A Superhero is a book that belongs in the library of anyone who has ever dreamed of being a hero.

Val’s Movie Roundup #5: Dogs Edition

Posted on July 27, 2015 by Valerie Troutman

Beethoven’s Big Break (2008) – Some months ago I watched a SyFy movie called Lake Placid vs. Anaconda (2015). During, or shortly after, one of the actresses named Ali Eagle reached out to me on Twitter. As a result, I added several of her films to my queue. I just happened to get around to this one recently. That’s her above. As for the movie, I grew up with the first two Beethoven films and have not seen the third, fourth, and fifth films that come before this one. The family from those films isn’t here. Now we get an animal trainer whose son finds a Saint Bernard and names it Beethoven because of it’s affinity for classical music. The father is helping another animal trainer who unbeknownst to him kidnaps the dog star of a movie in order to extort money from the production company. Problem is that they haven’t actually shot one scene with the dog. As a result, upon seeing Beethoven, they simply recast. What follows is possibly the largest collection of tired, overused, and old jokes I have ever seen in one film. It’s obviously supposed to be a parody in some ways of the Beethoven movies while also being a reboot, but it doesn’t work. There is no reason to see this stinker. I will probably see the other Beethoven sequels, so we can hope that they are at least a little better.

The Adventures of RoboRex (2014) – You know your Transformers movies suck when a children’s film about a good robotic dog and an evil robotic cat is better. This movie is about a kid whose mother passed away and left him with a crystal. He doesn’t know it’s importance until a capsule arrives like The Terminator with an evil robotic cat named Destructo Cat inside. Soon after, a good robotic dog called RoboRex shows up to help the kid. The cat is sent from the future by Professor Apocalypse to instruct and help his younger self get the crystal. What follows is a slow but sure trajectory toward a final battle. In between we do get a nice little fight between the cat and dog that is more exciting than anything in the 4,076 minutes of Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014). I definitely recommend this one, but two things kind of bothered me. Ben Browder is in this and although it’s only been about ten years or so since Stargate, he looks like he has aged quite a bit. The other part is that they never explain how RoboRex ends up at Ben Affleck’s place in Gone Girl (2014).

C.H.O.M.P.S. (1979) – This movie has stupid characters and plot, but the dog is awesome! It’s like The Terminator (1984) and Superman (1978). It literally rips off the roof of a car with it’s paws. And you can see from the picture above that it’s a small dog. The movie is about a guy who works for a home security company. Instead of trying to make your standard security system, he looks to nature’s home security system and decides to improve it. He first thinks of creating a robotic Doberman, but probably realized that people had already seen Dobermans rob banks in earlier movies and just copied his own dog instead. The movie basically has three things going on. First, the dog is on an endless rampage to catch these two criminals that might as well have stepped out of Home Alone (1990). Second, the guy and his girl are trying to sell the company on the idea of a robotic dog. Third, is this big black dog that occasionally pops up whose thoughts we can hear. That dog has some mouth on it. It says, “Up your poop, granny” and “Shit”. With Hot to Trot, that makes two talking animal movies I’ve seen recently where the talking animal says “shit”. If you can put aside the problems and just focus on the cool dog, then this one can be fun. It’s a little weird to see the dog’s eyes light up and the head get removed though.

The Amazing Wizard of Paws (2015) – This is a movie that would have the Cinema Snob saying “What the fuck!” The script is a mess. The movie begins with what looks like Snape cornering Gandalf against a tree. Gandalf is holding a book. That book will be important…sort of. Next a dog meets up with a kid who has lost his father in a car accident. Snape visits him in the backyard, but doesn’t seem to do anything. Then we jump seven years into the future. That’s where this movie starts to just go wherever it feels like. It sets things up that the dog can talk, the book is magic, and the kid is supposed to protect it using magic. However, despite this evil wizard who wants the book, the kid spends most of his time signing up for talent shows in order to get money so his mother can keep the house. You will find yourself saying, “And the wizard went where? What happened to him wanting the book?” I can’t recommend this movie at all. A total skip. It’s sad because I really do like the dog.

Artist Profile: Earle Bergey (1901 — 1952)

Posted on July 27, 2015 by Dazzling Erin

Born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and educated at the Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Arts, Earle Bergey is considered to have been one of the most prolific and influential pulp fiction artists of the 20th Century. His most famous cover was the one he painted for Gentleman Prefer Blondes in 1948.

Check out that cover and some more of Earle Bergey’s work below!

‘Cuz I’m A “Creep” — I’m A Weirdo —

Posted on July 26, 2015 by Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)

I think I liked this one — or at least most of it?

Trash Film Guru

What’s the next line in that song? Oh, yeah — “what the hell am I doing here?”

Spoiler alert : I kinda wondered that myself for the last two minutes or so of Patrick Brice and Mark Duplass’s 2014 indie horror (now streaming on Netflix even before it hits Blu-ray and DVD) Creep, but that was only after thoroughly digging the first 80-or-so minutes a lot more.

Yes, folks, we’re back on the “found footage” train here, and with a distinctly limited cast of characters, at that — in fact, just two. Brice (who co-wrote the script) stars as “millenial looking for a buck” freelance cameraman Aaron, while Duplass (who not only co-wrote, but directs here) is Josef, who has enticed him with a $1,000 cash offer to come to his cabin up north in order to , he says, document an average day in his life for his…

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