What Lisa Watched Last Night: The 84th Annual Academy Awards

Posted on February 27, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, me and my BFF Evelyn watched the 84th Annual Academy Awards.

Lisa and Evelyn at the Oscars

Why Was I Watching It?

As if you had to ask.

What Was It About?

It was about honoring some good films and making a lot of catty comments about rich people who don’t know how to dress themselves.

What Worked?

You know who is adorable? Bret McKenzie, who all good people as a member of The Flight of the Conchords. He won an Oscar last night for best original song for Man or Muppet and he gave exactly the type of wonderfully sincere acceptance speech that you would expect from Bret McKenzie.

You know who else is adorable? Jim Rash. The script he co-wrote for The Descendants is overrated but it was still good to see Community’s Dean up there accepting an Oscar.

And you know who is really, really adorable? The little Emma Stone. Loved her dress and loved her whole little skit with Ben Stiller.

Jean Dujardin, Christopher Plummer, and Octavia Spencer all gave wonderful acceptance speeches and Uggie got to go on stage when The Artist won best picture! That was so cute!

What Didn’t Work?

Much like the Golden Globes last month, the Academy Awards were a rather somber affair, It was as if everyone couldn’t get over the fact that they had actually nominated Incredibly Loud and Extremely Close and everyone was muttering under their breath, “Let’s get this over with before anyone remembers that we nominated a film that not even those people at the Golden Globes were impressed by!”

As much as I enjoyed two of the nominees for best picture (The Artist and Hugo), respected one of them (The Tree of Life), and enjoyed another almost despite myself (The Help), the majority of the nominations this year went to movies that we will probably never watch again and to performers who will probably never have a year as good as this one. Perhaps that is why the various Academy montages all seemed to feature scenes taken from films that received not a single Oscar nomination. (More time was devoted to the latest Mission Impossible than to Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.) It just gave the whole ceremony a rather odd feel. It reminded me of when I was in high school and the drama club would give out little trophies and certificates at the end of the year. I received a little trophy for being the Best Actress in Advanced Theatre during my junior year. I also got a certificate for “Biggest Flirt.” (My acceptance speech, by the way, was: “Couldn’t it have been for best lay?” Ahhh, High School.)

As host, Bill Crystal was pretty bleh and he kinda looked like Robert Blake from Lost Highway.

Whenever Rooney Mara popped up on screen, me and Evelyn would yell, “You need boobs to wear that dress, honey!”

Meryl Streep’s acceptance speech was long-winded and she came across as being a bit full of herself, I think. Now I know that you’re saying, “Well, gee, Lisa, she’s the greatest actress ever so she’s earned the right to be full of herself!” Actually, if you really pay attention to Streep’s performances, you’ll see that the main reason she has a reputation for being a great actress is because she never allows you to forget that she’s acting.

I missed James Franco.

“OMG! Just like me!” Moments

As I mentioned on twitter, Evelyn and I have decided that we were the Jennifer Lopez and Cameron Diaz of my living room. We’re still debating on just who exactly was Cameron and who was J.Lo.

Lessons Learned

Everything is better with James Franco!

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night: Trader Horn (dir. by W.S. Van Dyke)

Posted on February 16, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, as I attempted to drift off to sleep, I switched over to TCM and watched the 1931 film Trader Horn.

Why Was I Watching It?

I’m on a mission to see every film ever nominated for best picture and Trader Horn was nominated back in 1931. (It lost to the first western ever to win best picture, Cimarron.) Trader Horn is a bit of an oddity among Oscar contenders in that it received no other nominations save for best picture and it has never been released on DVD. When I saw it on TCM’s schedule last night, I figured that might very well be my only chance to see this forgotten best picture nominee.

What’s It About?

So Trader Horn (Harry Carey) is a heroic ivory hunter. Yes, this film was made a long time ago. He makes his living in Africa where he spends his time killing animals and explaining how, whenever the natives start playing their drums, it means that “every black devil is in the bush.” Again, this film was made a very loooooooong time ago.

Anyway, at the start of the film, Trader Horn is introducing his apprentice (Duncan Renaldo) to the facts of life in Africa. Eventually, they meet a missionary (Olive Golden) who is looking for daughter who was kidnapped by a tribe years ago. When Golden is killed, Trader Horn takes it upon himself to find her daughter (played by Edwina Booth) and bring her back to civilization.

What Worked?

Trader Horn was the first non-documentary to be filmed on location in Africa and, as you watch the movie, it quickly becomes apparent that the film’s plot is really just an excuse to show off all the nature footage that director W.S. Van Dyke managed to capture. Countless time the film’s story comes to a complete halt while Carey and Renaldo simply stop to watch a grazing giraffe or to watch a leopard hunt a wildebeest. Normally, this is the sort of thing I would complain about but, in this case, the story was so predictable and silly that I was happy for the interruption. It helps that the 80 year-old nature footage is still visually impressive and exciting to watch. According to the research I did on the Internet after seeing the film, Trader Horn’s footage was used as a stock footage in countless “jungle” films over the next three decades in much the same way that the same old distressing mondo footage tends to show up in every single Italian cannibal film.

There’s a scene were Renaldo finds a lion cub and oh my God, it’s just the most adorable little kitty ever!

Trader Horn actually has an interesting production history and I enjoyed reading about it after I watched the movie. Apparently, Van Dyke spent seven months in Africa making this film and almost the entire crew ended up falling ill. At least two cameramen were killed while filming the wild animals and Edwina Booth returned so sick that her film career was pretty much ended.

On one final note, there was apparently a pornographic remake of this film in the late 60s. Its title? Trader Hornee.

What Didn’t Work?

Did I mention this film was made a really looooooong time ago? Because, seriously, it was. On occasion, I’ve heard an old film described as being “creaky.” I never really understood what that meant until I saw Trader Horn because, quite frankly, this film is amazingly creaky. It moves slowly, the performers are rather melodramatic (though Harry Carey does a good job), and. while the cultural attitudes may have been acceptable in 1931, they now come across as extremely racist and its hard not to feel really uncomfortable with scenes where Renaldo ogles the bare-breasted native women and says, “Why, they’re not savages at all! They’re like little children!”

Bleh.

“Oh My God! Just Like Me!” Moments:

I would have wanted to adopt that lion cub too.

Lessons Learned:

1931 was a long, long time ago.

What Lisa Watched Last Night: Rocky (dir. by John G. Avildsen)

Posted on February 3, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

A few days ago, I set the DVR to record the 1976 Best Picture winner Rocky off of TCM. Last night, I finally got a chance to sit down and actually watch it.

Why Was I Watching It?

I’ll be honest here and admit that I wasn’t watching it because I’ve ever had any great desire to see this movie or, for that matter, any other Sylvester Stallone film. (Though, for the record, I thought the Expendables was vaguely entertaining.) However, this being Oscar season, my mind right now is pretty much dominated by 1) a mental list of all 493 best picture nominees and 2) an obsessive need to see every single one of those films.

And since we’re focusing on reviewing best picture nominees this month, I figured why not take this opportunity to watch Rocky. After all, I thought, this is the film that managed to win best picture over Network, Taxi Driver, and All The President’s Men. How bad can it be?

What’s It About?

So, there’s this guy named Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone) and he’s got to be the nicest Mafia goon alive. He spends his time collecting debts for the local loan shark (played by the Maniac himself, Joe Spinell) but he refuses to break anyone’s thumbs while doing so and even offers up helpful advice like, “Yo, you got to start thinking.” Spinell’s all like, “Rocky, why aren’t you breaking anyone’s thumbs?” and Rocky says he doesn’t want to and Spinell’s all like, “That’s okay,” because oddly enough, Joe Spinell is the only guy in the Mafia who is nicer than Rocky.

Anyway. Rocky is also a boxer who fights “bums” (as his trainer Burgess Meredith is fond of bellowing) and who is sweetly courting Adrian (Talia Shire), a shy girl who works in the local pet store. Adrian’s brother (played by Burt Young) is named Paul but since everyone in the film is Italian, he’s called “Paulie” instead. (I can say this because I’m a fourth Italian and if your name is Paul, I’m going to call you “Paulie” whether you like it or not.)

Anyway, there’s another boxer (played by Carl Weathers) and he’s named Apollo Creed. Apollo is the champ because when you’ve got a name like Apollo Creed, you better be the best or else you’re just going to look silly. For publicity reasons, Apollo gives the unknown Rocky the chance to fight him for the championship. Apollo is expecting an easy fight but he hasn’t taken into consideration that Rocky is not only willing to run every morning but he’s willing to run up steps as well!

What Worked?

(WARNING: SPOILERS BELOW.)

The love story between Rocky and Adrian was kinda sweet, largely because Talia Shire and Sylvester Stallone both had a very genuine chemistry and Shire gave such a good performance that Stallone (who spends most of the film coming across like a parody of a method actor) gives a better performance when he’s sharing the screen with her. I spent a lot of this movie rolling my eyes at just how shamelessly manipulative it was but I have to admit that the final scene — with Adrian going “I love you, Rocky,” and a bloody and kinda gross-looking Rocky replying with a heartfelt, “I love you!” — brought tears to my multi-colored eyes.

What Didn’t Work?

Rocky has got to be one of the most shamelessly manipulative films ever made. Director John G. Avildsen (who won best director while Martin Scorsese wasn’t even nominated for Taxi Driver) pushed every obvious button and used every technique at his disposal to force the audience to root for Rocky. Hence, we get the famous training montage set to soaring music and the subtle appeals to racism that are inherent in the portrayals of Apollo Creed and his entourage. Admittedly, one reason that a lot of these scenes fell flat is because I’ve seen them duplicated in thousands of other sports films. I know its possible that the reason I’ve seen them duplicated is because of Rocky’s success but still, it doesn’t make those scenes feel any less obvious and vaguely silly.

Do you know how sometimes you just watch a movie and you go, “There is absolutely nothing in this movie for me to relate to and I really should be watching the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills right now?” Well, my reaction to Rocky wasn’t that extreme but it was pretty close. I watched this film — which I’ve seen described as one of the most emotional films ever made — feeling oddly detached from everything I was seeing on-screen, my attention only being held by a clinical fascination concerning just how shamelessly manipulative this film was. Try as I might, I simply could not get emotionally invested in what I was watching. Some of that, undoubtedly, has to do with the fact that I’m not into sports films in general. However, I think most of it comes down to the fact that I have a vagina and, quite frankly, the appeal of Sylvester Stallone is lost on me.

Speaking of the appeal of Sylvester Stallone…

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments:

None. It’s rare that I say that because I can usually find a way to relate any movie I see to my life but Rocky was just too alien to me.

Lessons Learned:

Best is a subjective term.

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night: Sexting in Suburbia (dir. by John Stimpson)

Posted on January 30, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, as I was laying in bed and waiting for sleep to come, I turned on Lifetime and watched a movie called Sexting in Suburbia.

Why Was I Watching It?

Because it was on Lifetime and seriously — how can you not watch something called Sexting in Suburbia? That’s like the greatest freaking title ever.

What Was It About?

So there’s this popular, out-going, bright futured high school student named Dina (Jenn Proske) and, on the same night that she’s crowned homecoming queen, she’s also sends her boyfriend a naked picture but she accidentally sends it to the wrong phone as well. So, of course, the picture goes viral and soon, everyone at school sees it and they get all judgmental and soon, everywhere Dina goes, she’s seeing graffiti that reads, “Dina is a slut!” Plus, Dina gets kicked off of the Girl’s Field Hockey Team because apparently, there’s some sort of morality clause that goes along with being on a high school athletic team or something like that. Seriously, is that like a real thing? Anyway, Dina loses her college scholarship as a result of being kicked off the team so she goes home and kills herself. Now, it’s up to her mom (Liz Vassey) to find out who is responsible for that picture going viral and get some justice for Dina.

Oh, and by the way, this all takes place in…suburbia!

What Worked?

The film had a good anti-bullying message to it and it definitely captured how everything in high school is such a drama. It also made a good point about just how messed up society is when it comes to dealing with sex in general and how quick everyone is to judge girls as opposed to boys. Whereas guys are applauded for “acting like men,” girls are expected to meet someone else’s standard of perfection and the minute we deviate from that standard in any way whatsoever, we’re condemned and called nasty names and expected to live the rest of our lives being punished for not living up to someone else’s ideal.

However, ultimately, what really worked as far as this film is concerned is the title. Seriously, I love that title! Sexting in Suburbia. Say it a few times and you’ll see what I mean. It’s just so melodramatic and Lifetime-worthy.

What Did Not Work?

This movie, like a lot of Lifetime Movies, had a strong bias in favor of brunettes and against redheads. Seriously, if you spend a week watching nothing by the Lifetime Movie Network, you will discover that 9 times out of ten, the movie will feature a smart brunette, a naive/or spoiled blonde, and a sociopathic redhead. Seriously.

Speaking as a redhead, I have to say that this has always bothered me.

“OH MY GOD! JUST LIKE ME!” Moments

Seriously, who among us can say that they haven’t accidentally sexted the wrong person? It’s just a part of growing up.

Lessons Learned:

It’s not easy being red.

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night: The 69th Annual Golden Globe Awards

Posted on January 16, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the 69th Annual Golden Globe Awards. I also got on twitter and made a lot of snarky comments. People seemed to enjoy it and for that reason, I say, “Yay!”

Why Was I Watching It?

Because I am an awards show junkie! Seriously, those glue sniffers on Intervention don’t have anything on me when it comes to craving the excess, glamour, and foolishness of a big, silly Hollywood awards show! Add to that, this is still a fairly wide open Oscar season and the Golden Globes are, as they always say on E!, a “precursor to the Oscars.” Winning a Golden Globe usually guarantees at least an Oscar nomination. Plus — Ricky Gervais was back to host and like a lot of people last night, I spent the minutes before the ceremony asking myself, “What ever will he say!?” in feverish anticipation.

What Was It About?

For the past 69 years, the members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association have thrown a big banquet in January and given out a lot of awards to various TV and movie stars. Nobody’s really sure who the members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association are and, to be honest, the Golden Globes always have a slightly unsavory air to them. There’s always more than a few nominations that mostly seem to be designed to get famous people to show up at the ceremony, Last year, they nominated the Tourist, this year they nominated The Ides of March. Anyway, the Golden Globes are distinguished by the Oscars by the fact that they serve alcohol during the show and, in the past, someone’s always ended up giving a drunken acceptance speech or launching into an incoherent political rant and, for the past few weeks, we’ve been told that with Ricky Gervais returning to host the 69th annual banquet, anything could happen and probably would! Yay!

What Worked

Last night, I mentioned on twitter that if nothing interesting happened on the Globes or if Ricky somehow failed to deliver the expected amount of snark then I would devote this section of my review to talking about my boobs.

With that in mind, what can I say except that they’re a little big and heavy and they pretty much ended my dreams of being a ballerina but I like my boobs, or as I call them Pride and Joy. They go great with every outfit I own and I’m pretty sure that they’re also the reason why I’ve never had to pay a speeding ticket. Plus, they allowed me to say stuff like, “I should be Ms. Golden Globes!” while I was watching the show last night…

Actually, I’m being a little bit unfair to the Golden Globes (the awards ceremony, not my boobs). The tribute to Morgan Freeman was well-done and was probably the high point of the ceremony but then again, how can you go wrong with Morgan Freeman? Seriously, when I’m on the verge of doing something silly (like using a review of the Golden Globes to show off my boobs) , I imagine Morgan Freeman saying, “Now, do you really think that’s a good idea?”

Fashion-wise, I saw a lot of red dresses last night and that made me happy because I look really good in red.

Among the winners, Christopher Plummer (Best Supporting Actor for Beginners), Jean Dujardin (Best Actor In A Comedy Motion Picture for The Artist), Martin Scorsese (Best Director for Hugo), and Claire Danes (Best Actress In A Dramatic TV Show for Homeland) all gave good and classy acceptance speeches that made me feel good to be alive. And Uggie the dog was so adorable up there on stage when The Artist won Best Motion Picture Comedy. Actually, speaking of The Artist, it was kinda nice to see so many French people accepting awards last night. (Oh, stop it! I love France!)

I enjoyed it when Madonna won for best song because she was so shocked that she forgot to speak in her fake accent.

On an admittedly petty note, Rooney Mara did not win Best Actress for David Fincher’s The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and that amused me greatly because I knew that all the little AwardsDaily Fincherites were torn about how to whine about Mara losing with coming across as if they were criticizing Meryl Streep for winning.

What Did Not Work

So, let’s start with the main problem. Last night’s Golden Globes ceremony was so respectable and predictable and slow that it might as well have just been the Oscars. Ricky Gervais started out the ceremony by telling us that he had signed an agreement to not make any offensive or outrageous statements and then he did just that. What’s especially annoying is that Ricky didn’t seem to be neutering himself as an act of protest or anything of the sort. Instead, he just came across like he was too smug and sure-of-himself to realize that he was bombing. It was as if he just expected his reputation to convince us that he was being funny and outrageous without actually being funny and outrageous. Last year, Ricky Gervais skewered Hollywood phonies. This year, Ricky Gervais was a Hollywood phony. I sat there waiting for him to say just one thing that could potentially end his career and he refused to do it.

But Ricky wasn’t alone. Seriously, where were the drunk winners launching into incoherent politically themed rants. I mean, it’s an election year for God’s sake. People on twitter were using the occasion to make all sorts of silly and naive political statements but the actual celebrities — the people who we depend on to act like a bunch of dumbasses — just sat there in this sort of placid anxiety like they were waiting for someone to show up for an intervention.

BLEH!

The majority of the night’s acceptance speeches were neither good nor bad. They were just boring. Listen, Meryl Streep is a great actress and I have no problem with her being recognized and awarded for her talent but oh my God, I nearly fell asleep trying to listen to her. Now, if Meryl (or any other winner) had gotten up on stage and started slurring her words or making dirty jokes or something like that, it would have made for great television. (Though I do have to give Meryl some credit for being the only winner to get bleeped.)

The Descendants won Best Motion Picture Drama but seriously, it’s hard for me to accept that this well-made but essentially unchallenging and rather forgettable film is now the Oscar front-runner. Seriously. Much as with every other award it has won, The Descendants felt like something of a compromise choice and, considering that Scorsese won best director, it’s hard to gauge just how much momentum the Descendants is going to get from this victory.

Oh! And another thing that sucked — how did George Clooney win a Golden Globe for essentially playing the same character he always plays while Michael Fassbender’s brilliant work in Shame was ignored? What type of game is that?

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

: To quote Joan Crawford, “I’ll show you a pair of Golden Globes!”

Lessons Learned

This is shaping up to be one of the worst Oscar seasons in recent history. Seriously, if just one deserving film or performance wins in February, I will be amazed.

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night: The Help (dir. by Tate Taylor)

Posted on January 3, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I actually watched several things last night, including the season premieres of The Bachelor and Intervention. However, neither one of those is an Oscar contender. The Help is, so I decided I better take the time to watch the film via OnDemand.

Why Was I Watching It?

I wasn’t planning on seeing this movie when it first originally opened in theaters because, just based on the trailer, it looked like it would be your typical, terribly self-congratulatory mainstream films. I’ve seen far too many films that promote the same old stereotypes in the name of progress and tolerance, as if good intentions can make up for bad filmmaking. But, so many of my girlfriends came to me raving about how much they loved this film and then my Aunt Kate just about disinherited me when I told her I hadn’t seen the movie (or read the book that it’s based on) and eventually I realized that I had to see the film. Add to that, chances are that this film is going to be an Oscar contender.

What Was It About

In segregated Mississippi, aspiring writer Skeeter (Emma Stone) decides to write book about the life of the African-American maids and nannies who work for her best friends. After some initial difficulty, she wins the trust of two maids (Viola Davis and Octavia Spenser) and gets down to exposing the truth.

What Worked

First off, The Help is a perfect example of a well-made, entertaining mainstream film. I laughed at the funny parts, I cried at the sad parts, and I thoroughly enjoyed the film, even though it kinda fell apart during the 2nd hour. There’s a lot of very legitimate issues that you can raise about how the film portrays life in the segregated South but the film itself is entertaining and well-made.

It’s also one the best acted films of 2011 with Viola Davis, Octavia Spenser, and Emma Stone all giving great performances. Jessica Chastain is funny playing a clueless newlywed and Bryce Dallas Howard does a typically good job playing the type of bitchy Queen Bee that we’ve all know and have all secretly hoped would end up fat and divorced. I also thought Allison Janney, who plays Stone’s mother, gave an excellent and underrated performance.

This film was directed with a perfect eye for the details needed to make even the most minor of characters memorable. If nothing else, I enjoyed watching it just to see what everyone would be wearing from scene to scene.

The film’s first hour is probably as perfectly paced and tonally balanced as any film I’ve seen. However, things fall apart during the second hour (more on that below). Luckily, the film’s ending is powerful and partially redeems the film’s uneven tone.

What Didn’t Work

The film is moves along pretty well until the 2nd hour, at which point it smashed into a wall created by the inability of mainstream film to truly honestly deal with racism. At the start of the second hour, civil rights leader Medgar Evers is assassinated by a member of the Ku Klux Klan and I found myself waiting for some sort of expression of anger (or really, any emotion other than stoic suffering) on the part of “the help.” Instead, we get a scene where both Viola Davis and Emma Stone are watching Evers’s funeral together and both are impressed to see John F. Kennedy show up. In the next scene, Davis has put a picture of President Kennedy up on her wall next to a picture of Jesus. So, in other words, this film reacts to the murder of a black man but deifying a white man. After showing us a clue of violent reality, it’s as if the film can’t figure out how to balance out the ugly realities of racism with the film’s need to appeal to the widest possible audience. As a result, the next hour of the film feels rather disjointed and uneven. Even though the film partially redeems itself with one of the best endings of the year, it’s still hard not to feel as if we’re watching a feel good film about something nobody should feel all that good about.

Like a lot of mainstream films about racism, a good deal of this film centers on the friendship between blacks and a few white people who, magically, don’t appear to have a shred of prejudice within them despite the fact that they were raised in the same racist culture as every other white person in the film. As a result, the racism seen in the film doesn’t really seem like it’s an ingranied part of culture as much as it just seems like the result of a couple of bullies acting like jerks. As a result, despite its very good intentions, a film like The Help will often unintentionally minimize just what a struggle the fight for civil rights was and is.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Needless to say, I totally related to Emma Stone’s character in this film.

Lessons Learned

It’s difficult to make a feel-good movie about racism.

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night: Bridesmaids (dir. by Paul Feig)

Posted on January 2, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched, via Uverse OnDemand, one of my favorite movies of 2011 — Bridesmaids.

Why Was I Watching It?

Why!? Because it’s just like one of my favorite movies of all time! Seriously, I love Bridesmaids.

What’s It About?

To put it simply, this is a movie about a bunch of bridesmaids but really, it’s so much more. Annie (Kristen Wiig) is struggling to get over the loss of her bakery and trying to find some sort of happiness in a purely sexual relationship with married Ted (Jon Hamm, at his sleaziest) when her best friend Lillian (Maya Rudolph) announces that she’s getting married. She asks Annie to be her maid-of-honor but Annie quickly finds herself locked in competition with Lillian’s other friend, the rich and snobby Helen (Rose Byrne) as well as in a tentative romance with Nathan (Chris O’Dowd, who is so cute and adorable here), who is a traffic cop but he’s also Irish so he can be forgiven.

What Worked?

Okay, so when Bridesmaids came out this summer it was advertised as being a “gross out comedy” for girls but it’s so much more. I mean, I’m not a huge fan of gross out comedy, like not at all. But I love this movie. The film is full of great (but honest) dialogue and features some of the best ensembles of the year. Along with Byrne and Wiig, the bridesmaids include Wendy McClendon-Covey, Ellie Kemper, and Melissa McCarthy and they all get a chance to shine. Especially McCarthy, who plays the sister of the groom and who gets to deliver all of the crude, laugh-out-loud lines along with getting a great, semi-dramatic scene towards the end.

This is a very funny movie but, ultimately, it’s funny because its true. As Annie, Kristen Wiig is very funny and likable but ultimately, she’s a single woman struggling to maintain both her independence and her own sense of self-worth in a world that seems to exist just to judge, a struggle that leads her to live a little too vicariously through her best friend and try to justify being the lesser half in a degrading relationship. And you know what? We’ve all been there. I know I have. And, when you find yourself in that type of prison, sometimes you just have to laugh to keep from going crazy.

There are so many laugh-out-loud moments in this film that I don’t even know where to begin in picking out my favorites. However, a few obvious highlights: the ill-fated trip to try on bridesmaid dresses and the equally ill-fated flight to Vegas. I also have to give major kudos to the film’s opening, which is one of the few sex scenes ever to be found in a comedy that’s actually filmed from the woman’s point of view.

Finally, the film features Jill Clayburgh’s final film performance and she is hilarious. Thank you, Bridemaids, for coming out after Love and Other Drugs.

What Doesn’t Work?

Any time you have a comedy like this, there will occasionally be a one-liner that falls flat or a joke that doesn’t quite work and Bridesmaids has one or two of these. But the entire film is so likable that the jokes that don’t work are quickly forgotten.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments:

Oh my God, so many! And it would probably be TMI for me to go into every single one of them but I will say that I’ve been a bridesmaid like five times and I was my sister Megan’s maid of honor though that was mostly because I cried until she agreed to give me the job. And I actually really enjoyed it every time, mostly because it meant I got to be up at the front of the church instead of stuck sitting all anonymous-like in the back and I could stand up there and be all like, “See, I even make this dress look good.”

The second time I was a bridesmaid, I kinda got everyone mad at me because I made this gagging motion when they were lighting the unity candle but seriously, I just think unity candles are all silly and Vermont-like. Plus, the marriage eventually ended in divorce like a year later so let’s hear it for me for being honest.

Lessons Learned:

Laughter is the best medicine. Always.

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night: Degrassi Episode 0815 “A Touch of Grey”

Posted on January 1, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Well, actually I didn’t watch it last night. Instead, I spent last night bring in the new year with my boyfriend, my BFF, my sister, and about two dozen people who I kinda knew or, at the very least, they seemed to know me. Seriously, it reminded me of that old commercial where every where this girl goes, everyone’s all like, “So, what color panties are you wearing tonight?” In my case, I was wearing black panties and this morning, I’m wearing red, white, and blue panties because dangit, this is 2012 and I’m proud to be an American, yes, I am! But anyway, what was I talking about?

Oh yeah, so I didn’t actually watch this last night but I did DVR it last night. And then I watched it this morning. Anyway, what I watched was the 15th episode of the 8th season of my favorite Canadian tv show, Degrassi: The Next Generation. The title of this episode: A Touch of Grey.

Why Was I Watching It?

Well, first off, it was Degrassi. Secondly, it was one of the Degrassi drug episodes. So, of course, I was totally going to make sure I got a chance to see it.

What’s It About?

This is the episode where Emma (played by Miriam McDonald) worries that her classmates view her as being boring. So, she tells everyone to call her “Blaze” and then passes out a bunch of pot brownies. At first, everyone has a great time eating the brownies and giggling and stumbling about. But, uh-oh, one girl gets so stoned that she forgets to take her insulin and slips into a diabetic coma. Will Blaze confess to the Canadian police or will she allow her cute boyfriend to take the fall?

What Worked

Any Degrassi episode dealing with drug abuse is automatically fascinating because Degrassi, on the one hand, took a lot of pride on treating the issues realistically but, at the same time, there’s no way that a teen show could get away with allowing any character to abuse drugs for more than one episode. As such, drug episodes of Degrassi have this wonderfully schizophrenic feel to them where everything starts out normal until about 18 minutes in, at which point THE WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT WILL EVER HAPPEN happens. In A Touch of Grey, we find out that handing out pot brownies will not only help induce a coma but will also lead to you breaking up with your cute boyfriend as well.

What Didn’t Work

It was Degrassi. It all worked.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments:

When I first went to college, my roommate used to call me “Blaze” too. In my case, though, it was either because of my hair or my temper.

Lessons Learned:

Uhmmm…hello? Don’t just go randomly handing out pot brownies like you’re freaking Martha Stewart or someone. That was the main lesson but as an extra, bonus lesson, I learned that you can apparently pin any crime on a devoted boyfriend. And thank God for that!

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night: The Office Episode 0102 — Diversity Day

Posted on December 31, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched a classic episode of the Office: Diversity Day!

Why Was I Watching It:

Down here in Dallas, they show reruns of The Office twice a day on Channel 27. I can literally say that I’ve probably seen every episode about 20 times at this point and now, if I’m home at night with nothing to do, I’m more likely to see what’s on LMN. However, Diversity Day remains like one of my favorite episodes of the Office ever so, when I saw it was going to be on, I had to watch it.

What Was It About:

As the show begins, we find ourselves in the familiar offices of Dunder Mifflin Scranton. However, things are slightly different from the office we force ourselves to watch today. Kelly Kapoor is dressed conservatively. Michael Scott, with his thinning hair slicked back, is still in the manager’s office and, as opposed to being a somewhat docile idiot manchild, is just kind of a jerk. Jim and Pam are still cute and flirty (and Pam is still dressing like someone who actually works in an office). Robert California is nowhere to be seen and, for that matter, neither is Andy Bernard. In fact, we manage to get through this entire episode without anyone breaking out into song. Dwight’s pretty much the same, though.

Basically, Michael has offended just about everyone in the office by performing the infamous “Chris Rock Routine.” Corporate has responded by sending down Mr. Brown (a hilarious Larry Wilmore) from Diversity Today who leads the entire office through “sensitivity training.” Naturally, Michael feels threatened by this and so he decides to form his own company (which he calls Diversity Tomorrow because “…(T)oday is almost over.”) and leads his own sensitivity training workshop. This, of course, leads to Michael eventually getting slapped by Kelly when Michael asks her if she wants to step into his convenience shop and sample his “cookie cookie.”

What Worked?

Yes, Diversity Day is old school Office, back when the show was both incredibly funny and achingly sad too. It was also the first episode to be broadcast after the pilot and it remains one of the best episode of the Office ever. Whenever I catch these old episode of The Office in syndication, I’m always surprised to discover just how sweet and oddly poignant these shows were. Michael is truly a bad boss, the characters are clearly coworkers as opposed to being friends, and there’s none of the silliness that has come to dominate the show after the third season. One reason why the relationship between Jim and Pam was so special in those early episodes is because its made clear that both of them would spend their entire workday miserable if not for the time they spend talking to each other.

I think the main difference between these old episodes and the new episodes is that, if someone had suggested everyone who works at Office spend the weekend together at a Garden Party during the first three seasons, no one would have shown up. That is perfectly epitomized in this episode as all the characters find themselves forced to interact in an awkward attempt to celebrate diversity and mutual respect. The show works because Michael is so hilariously clueless to the fact that most of his employees would just rather work until five and then go home.

(If this episode was made today, Andy would end up pulling out his guitar and leading everyone in a sing along.)

This episode is also full of wonderful little moments and an observant eye for the details that distinguish a good show from a great one. Among my favorite moments: Dwight’s explanation of what a hero truly is (and Mr. Brown’s patient response of, “You’re thinking of a superhero.”), Michael’s cheaply done Diversity Tomorrow Video, and Pam finally falling asleep on Jim’s shoulder.

What Didn’t Work:

The episode itself was about as perfect as perfect can be but as I watched it, it was hard for me not to think about how different The Office is today as compared to what it once was. And that’s all I’ll say about that.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments:

I’ve always enjoyed talking about diversity training because it gives me an excuse to mention that I’m an Italian-Spanish-German-Irish American.

Lessons Learned:

Reruns are always better. Plus, if you are a racist, I will attack you with the north…

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night: A Friend of the Family (dir. by Stuart Gillard)

Posted on December 30, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

What did I watch last night? I watched A Friend of the Family, a 2007 film that shows up on the Lifetime Movie Network every couple of weeks.

Why Was I Watching It?

Ennui.

What Was It About?

Well, it’s yet another Canadian true crime, exploitation film that has found a second life on Lifetime. Newly weds Allison and Darrin (Laura Harris and Erik Johnson) move to a small town in Canada. Darrin befriends and goes into business with David (Kim Coates) and David is like so obviously a serial killer but Allison is the only one who notices. And then, when Allison attempts to let people know that David’s the one who has been killing all the blonde waitresses in town, everyone responds by saying that she’s the one who is being silly and emotional!

What Worked

It all worked! Well, okay, not all of it but enough of it worked that I had fun curling up on the couch and watching it. Laura Harris was a sympathetic heroine (and she played her character with just a hint of instability so you wondered sometimes if maybe she was just imagining it all), Kim Coates was creepy in that Kim Coates way, and Erik Johnson — Oh. My. God. So. Cute.

Add to that, I could relate to this film. Nobody believed me when I said the janitor in high school was a serial killer and I’m still pretty sure I was right about that.

What Didn’t Work?

You know what? It all worked, as far as I’m concerned.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

There were several, most of them having to do with Alison’s struggle to get people to listen to what she was saying. Seriously, men need to lean how to shut up and listen when it comes to potential serial killers living next door.

Lessons Learned

The main lesson was the same one that’s taught by most Lifetime movies: If you ever think the guy next door might be obsessed with you and plotting to kill you, take the law in your own hands. Seriously, all the men in your life are worthless when it comes to these situations.