Tag Archives: What Lisa Watched Last Night

What Lisa Watched Last Night #109: Sugar Daddies (dir by Doug Campbell)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

On Saturday night, I watched the latest Lifetime film, Sugar Daddies!

Sugar Daddies

Why Was I Watching It?

Because it was on Lifetime and it didn’t have a thing to do with football.

What Was It About?

College is expensive and law school even more so.  Can you blame Kara (Taylor Gildersleeve) for agreeing to become the mistress of the wealthy and considerably older Grant (Peter Strauss)?  Grant pays Kara $5,000 dollars a month, gives her a new car, and flies her around in a private jet.  All Kara has to do is be available whenever he demands her presence.

Except, of course, this is a Lifetime movie and nothing is ever that simple…

What Worked?

To be honest, Sugar Daddies is just a fun film.  Yes, it is dealing with a serious subject and, ultimately, it does come down on the side of being poor but honest.  But, before that, you get to look at all the nice clothes and all the well-decorated mansions and you get to enjoy all of the decadence that comes from being a rich man’s mistress.  Sugar Daddies may be a cautionary tale but it definitely knows how to enjoy itself.

This movie was directed by Doug Campbell, who has previously directed such Lifetime classics as Death Clique, The Cheating Pact, and Betrayed at 17.  As a director, Doug Campbell obviously knows how to make the perfect Lifetime film and how to strike just the right balance of melodrama and social commentary.  He knows exactly how far he can push things without going over-the-top and that skill is on full display in Sugar Daddies.

Plus, the film is really well cast.  Taylor Gildersleeve is a sympathetic and relatable as Kara.  Peter Strauss seems to be having a lot of fun playing his sleazy role.  Timothy Brennan is perfectly intimidating in the role of Peter, Grant’s bodyguard who is willing to do anything to protect his boss.  Ashley McCarthy and Samantha Robinson are also well-cast as Kara’s friends.

What Did Not Work?

Are you kidding?  This was Lifetime at its finest!  It all worked.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

I know this where you’re probably expecting me to talk about how I used to have an old, rich boyfriend who helped to pay my way through college but instead, I’d rather point out that Kara and I both own the exact same white dress with black trim!  I was beyond excited when I saw that and plus, it really made me root for Kara because she was someone who I could go shopping with.

Lessons Learned

Private jets are the bomb and we could all use an extra $5,000 dollars a month but sometimes, it’s better to just stick with that demeaning waitressing job.

And, if you do get an old, rich boyfriend, don’t let him talk you into playing the choking game.

Because that never ends well!

What Lisa Watched Last Night #108: Damaged (dir by Rick Bota)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the first Lifetime movie of 2015 — Damaged!

Chris Klein in Damaged

Chris Klein in Damaged

Why Was I Watching It?

You guys know me and how much I love Lifetime movies!  Damaged was the first Lifetime movie of 2015 so it’s less a question of why was I watching it and more a question of how could I not watch it.

What Was It About?

Damaged is yet another Canadian thriller that has found a home on Lifetime.  Sam Luck (Chris Klien) is the big, affable, and quite frankly dumb teacher who has a nice house in the suburbs with a dog and a wife (Tasya Teles).  He also is co-owner of a diner because … well, why not?  (I got the feeling that the filmmakers just happened to have a diner set available.)

Anyway, Sam’s luck changes when the new teenage neighbor moves in.  Her name is Taran (Merritt Patterson) and, along with frequently flirting with Sam (who also happens to be one of her teachers), she also constantly has flashbacks where she’s either watching her mother have sex with an unseen boyfriend or standing in a cemetery while it rains.

As Sam grows closer to Taran, strange things start to happen.  His car is stolen but fortunately, Taran offers to allow him to drive her never-seen father’s car.  His dog disappears.  He’s informed that a student has accused him of sexual harassment.  His partner in the diner accuses him of embezzling money.  With all this happening, who else can Sam turn to for comfort other than his wife the teenage neighbor girl next door?

What Worked?

Damaged was an example of my favorite type of Lifetime movie: A complacent couple in the suburbs has their life destroyed by a malevolent outside force.  There’s something always fun about watching these smug suburbanites discovering just how easily their domestic bliss can be destroyed.

Merritt Patterson did a pretty good job in the role of Taran.  At the very least, she seemed to be having more fun than anyone else in the cast.

Finally, Damaged deserves some credit for not shying away from giving us a properly dark ending.  If this was an old grindhouse film, Damaged would be advertised as being a movie that “goes all the way.”

What Did Not Work?

So, here’s the thing.  If you, as a filmmaker, want us to sympathize with your lead character or, at the very least, hope that he doesn’t end up getting totally destroyed, it might help to not make the character a total moron.  As I watched the film, it was hard for me not to think about all the things that Sam could have done that would have prevented him from getting into this situation.

Here’s just a few examples:

1) When you’re a teacher and one of your students offers to give you her daddy’s car, don’t accept the car.  Why?  Because you’re a teacher and she’s a student in your class!  Yes, I understand that it was a really nice car but again: Student.  Teacher.

2) When you’re a teacher and you’re feeling depressed because someone has suggested that you’ve been sexually harassing your teenage students, don’t pour your heart out to the teenage girl who lives next door.

3) When you’re a teacher and one of your students offers you an expensive watch, don’t accept it!

4) When you’re a teacher and one of your students says she wants to go out and have fun with you, don’t go!

Seriously, it seems like most of Sam’s problems could have been avoided if he had bothered to read the Rules For Teacher/Student Interaction booklet that I’m sure he was given when he was first hired.  As such, it was hard to have much sympathy for Sam.  (Or his wife for that matter because, as badly as things turned out for her, she is the one who married the idiot in the first place.)

However, just to make clear: part of the fun of a movie like this is shaking your head at the stupid things some of the characters do.  And overall, Sam’s stupidity just made the film more fun.  So, I guess it’s debatable whether this is something that did not work.  (Though it certainly didn’t work that well for Sam, personally…)

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

At first, when I thought Taran just had an obsessive crush on Sam, I related to her because it reminded me of when I was in high school and I had a crush on Mark, who was engaged to our speech and debate coach.  One weekend, Mark accompanied us all on a road trip to a speech tournament in San Antonio.  One night, at the motel, I slipped on this pink Victoria’s Secret nightie that I had specifically bought for the trip and then I sneaked out of my room and pulled down on the fire alarm so that I could specifically meet Mark when he came running out of his room in his boxers and I could pretend to be all panicky (and in need of comforting) about the fire.  Ah, memories.

But anyway, as the movie progressed, I realized that I actually had less in common with Taran.  For instance, I’ve never tried to kill anyone.

Lessons Learned

The main lesson I learned was one that I already know.  If the police ever catch you doing something wrong, be sure to cry.  I already knew that crying was a good way to get out of speeding tickets but, according to the final scene of Damaged, it can get you out of a lot worse as well.

As for any teachers who may have been watching, I think the main lesson would be to read your code of conduct.

What Lisa and the Late Night Movie Crew Watched Last Night #107: Prisoners of the Lost Universe (dir by Terry Marcel)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I gathered with about 17 friends over at SyFyDesigns and we watched an obscure little fantasy film from 1983, Prisoners of the Lost Universe.

P-0002_Prisoners_of_the_Lost_Universe_quad_movie_poster_l

Why Were We Watching It?

We were watching it because we are the late night movie crew and that’s what we do.  We watch movies and we watch them late at night and, since we are all intelligent and snarky people, we have a natural tendency to pick movies with titles like Prisoners of the Lost Universe.

(Add to that, since Prisoners of the Lost Universe is in the public domain, it has been included about a dozen different Mill Creek Box sets and it’s also on YouTube.  So, it was an easy film for everyone to watch.)

What Was It About?

News reporter Carrie (Kay Lenz) is interviewing Dr. Hartmann (Kenneth Hendel) when a sudden earthquake hits California.  Dr. Hartmann stumbles into an interdemensional transporter and disappears!  Then Dan (Richard Hatch) stops by Hartmann’s house and he stumbles into the transporter and disappears as well!  And then, after that, Carrie stumbles into the transporter and she vanishes!  Why is everyone in this movie so clumsy?

Anyway, Carrie is transported to the Lost Universe, which looks a lot like South Dakota.  (Actually, the movie was made in South Africa so apparently, South Africa also looks a lot like South Dakota.)  Carrie wanders around for a little while and spends a while talking to herself about how much she hates being in the Lost Universe.  Part of Carrie’s problem was that she was wearing high heels.  If you’re going to visit South Dakota, South Africa, or the Lost Universe, be sure to wear sensible shoes.

Eventually, Carrie is reunited with Dan and they meet a lot of other citizens of the Lost Universe.  They meet a green man.  They meet a gigantic cave man.  They meet a bearded thief.  They also meet a tribe of angry people who all have glowing red eyes.  When they’re climbing up a mountain, Dan offers a helping hand.  “Take your hand off my butt!” Carrie snaps back.  They’re not exactly Hepburn and Tracy.

Finally, Carrie is kidnapped by an evil warlord who happens to be played by John Saxon.  The warlord has a dueling pistol with him that he uses to enforce his will on everyone else in the Lost Universe.  He explains that it was built for him by a sorceror from another universe.  Any guess who that is going to turn out to be?

Anyway, it’s up to Dan to rescue Carrie and hopefully end the tyranny of John Saxon.

What Worked?

Prisoners of the Lost Universe is one of those otherwise forgettable films that suddenly becomes the most entertaining thing in the world if you’re watching it with the right people.  Last night, I watched it with the right people and our natural wit and snarkiness elevated the entire film.

Beyond the snarkiness, John Saxon made for a good and fun villain.  And I liked the Green Man.  He had an above-it-all attitude that was very entertaining.

What Did Not Work?

To be honest, it’s really a very bad movie.  If I hadn’t been watching this movie with 17 other snarky and talkative people, I imagine I would have been bored out of my mind.  If Prisoners of the Lost Universe had been produced by Crown International Pictures, it probably would have been a lot more fun.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

I have a feeling that if I accidentally got transported to the Lost Universe, I’d probably be wearing high heels as well.  And I’d probably complain a lot.  Who wouldn’t?

Lessons Learned

Why go to the Lost Universe when you can just go to South Dakota?

What Horror Lisa and the Snarkalecs Watched Last Night #106: Finders Keepers (dir by Alexander Yellen)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, the Snarkalecs and I watched the latest SyFy original film, Finders Keepers!

FK

Why Was I Watching It?

I had been watching Big Driver over on Lifetime but that film proved to be unusually disturbing and I really wasn’t in the right mood to deal with it.  Sometimes, you need to just be entertained and SyFy original movies are always entertaining!  So, after watching an hour of Big Driver, I turned over to SyFy and watched Finders Keepers.

What Was It About?

Recently divorced writer Alyson Smith (Jaime Pressly) moves into a nice, old house with her daughter, Claire (Kylie Rogers).  At first the house seems ideal but soon, cracks start to appear on this perfect fantasy of home ownership.  Claire starts to act strangely.  A crazy old cat lady (Marina Sirtis) keeps coming by the house.  Alyson does some research and discovers that the reason the house was empty was because, years before, it was the scene of a brutal mass murder.  And, of course, Claire finds a creepy doll in her bedroom and becomes extremely attached to it.

Soon, everyone who knows Alyson and her ex-husband (Patrick Muldoon) is turning up dead.  Could it be that the doll is evil or could it all be a coincidence?

Actually, there’s really no question.  That is one messed up doll…

What Worked?

SyFy hasn’t been showing as many original movies this year as they did last year.  Fortunately, the ones that they have shown have all been excellent and Finders Keepers keeps the streak going.  Finders Keepers is an effectively creepy horror film, featuring excellent performances from Jaime Pressly and Patrick Muldoon, atmospheric direction from Alexander Yellen, and a clever script from Peter Sullivan.

Incidentally, Finders Keepers probably featured one of the bigger body counts that I’ve ever seen in a SyFy film.  Nobody’s safe from that doll!

What Did Not Work?

Over the course of the film, two cats and a crazy old cat lady are killed.  As most of you know, I am about 40 years away from becoming a crazy old cat lady so that was a little bit difficult for me to deal with.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

So, beyond the crazy old cat lady and her two cats, this film also featured a vivacious, 20-something redhead who ended up being murdered by the evil doll.  And then, once the redhead and the cat lady had been dispatched, we were introduced to an incredibly efficient office administrator and guess what happened to her?  That’s right — murdered by the crazy doll.  Speaking as a vivacious and efficient redheaded office administrator and future crazy cat lady, I really have to wonder just what exactly this film had against me!

Lessons Learned

Do not let your daughter keep any creepy old voodoo dolls that she just happens to find in her bedroom.  If she won’t get rid of the voodoo doll, consider giving her up for adoption because, seriously — voodoo is nothing to mess with.

What Lisa and the Snarkalecs Watched Last Night #105: Zodiac: Signs of the Apocalypse (dir by W.D. Hogan)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, my friends, the Snarkalecs, and I watched the latest SyFy original film, Zodiac: Signs of the Apocalypse!  So, was Zodiac as good as Sharknado 2, as underrated as End of the World, as overrated as Invasion Roswell, or as bad as Heebie Jeebies?  Or was it just somewhere in between?  Let’s find out!

Zodiac

Why Was I Watching It?

Why were we watching it?  Because I’m a snarkalec and that’s what we do!  We watch original films on SyFy, we tweet along, and we do our best to try to get things to trend.  My hope was that Zodiac would eventually become a trending topic on California and end up freaking out a lot of people who would naturally assume that the legendary Zodiac Killer had finally been caught.  Unfortunately, last night, we were competing with football and this is America.  Nothing beats football.

What Was It About?

Good question.  It was a SyFy movie so naturally, the world was on the verge of ending.  And somehow, the upcoming apocalypse involved the signs of the zodiac and an ancient stone that was found in a deserted mine.  There was a bad business guy named Woodward (Aaron Douglas) or maybe he was a government guy.  But, for some reason, he wanted to get the stone so he could do evil things with it.  Luckily, there were three scientists (Joel Gretsch, Andrea Brooks, and Emily Holmes) and one scientist’s son (Reilly Dolman) who were attempting to save the world.  And Christopher Lloyd was in it, playing yet another scientist who had apparently invented holograms or something like that.  There was also a guy named Marty (Ben Cotton) who was a survivalist and lived in a really spacious bunker.

And let’s see, what else happened?  Fire rained from the sky.  Raging floods soaked the Earth.  Woodward flew around in a helicopter.  The scientists spent a lot of time driving around in an SUV.  A lot of stuff happened.  How it was all related was not always easy to follow but, then again, we all know that if you’re tying to make logical sense out of a SyFy film, you’re doing it wrong.

What Worked?

You know what?  I always think that when people criticize SyFy films, they’re missing the point.  SyFy films are supposed to be silly, the special effects are supposed to be cheap, and the performances are supposed to be melodramatic.  Occasionally — like with Sharknado 2 for instance — these elements come together perfectly.  And then other times, like with Zodiac, the end results are fun for two hours and quickly forgotten about afterward.  Zodiac was no Sharknado 2 but it gave us everything that we typically want from our SyFy films, it was a fun movie to tweet along with, and it gave the viewers a few laughs.

Perhaps not surprisingly, Zodiac was a Canadian film and Canada certainly looked pretty.

What Did Not Work?

For a film that was sold as being about the signs of the apocalypse destroying the world, the greatest sign of all — Scorpio — was sadly underused.  I kept expecting a scorpion-shaped cloud to form in the sky but it never happened!  Speaking as a Scorpio, I was very let down.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

My favorite character was Sophie (Andrea Brooks), the kickass scientist who survived being buried alive in a mine, not to mention Aquarius, Capricorn, and Sagittarius!  And she did it all while rocking the traditional SyFy scientist outfit of tank top and tight jeans.  She also had great hair!  If I wasn’t already planning on being the Black Widow, I’d be Sophie for Halloween.  She was the best!

WDH-ZODIAC-2014-Andrea-Brooks-2-compressor

Lessons Learned

Don’t mess with the Zodiac.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #104: Petals on the Wind (dir by Karen Moncrieff)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the Lifetime original film, Petals On The Wind.

Why Was I Watching It?

It’s the sequel to one of the greatest Lifetime films of all time, Flowers in the Attic.  How could I not watch it?

What Was It About?

10 years have passed since the Dollanganger children escaped from the attic.  Christopher (Wyatt Nash) is a medical student who, despite being engaged, is still attracted to his sister, Cathy (Rose McIver).  Cathy is a dancer who finds herself trapped in an abusive relationship with the handsome but controlling Julian (Will Kemp).  And finally, Carrie (Bailey Buntain) is still struggling with her memories of being held prisoner.  After several tragedies occur outside of the attic, Cathy returns to Foxworth Hall, looking to get revenge on both her grandmother (Ellen Burstyn) and her mother (Heather Graham).

What Worked?

Heather Graham and Ellen Burstyn reprised their roles from Flowers in the Attic and both of them gave Emmy-worthy performances.  Burstyn, in particular, managed to invoke some sympathy for a potentially monstrous character while Graham brought a great combination of immaturity and evil to her character.

On a personal level, I appreciated all of the dancing.  It brought back a lot of good memories.

What Did Not Work?

Watching Petals On The Wind really made me appreciate Flowers in the Attic, which was great for Flowers but not so good for Petals.  As I sat there, trying to figure out why Petals just wasn’t working for me, it occurred to me that the strength of Flowers in the Attic was that the attic itself became as much a character as any of the Dollangangers.  Even more importantly, being trapped in that attic, gave all of the characters a link that went beyond family and sex.  For the viewer, that attic allowed us to know when the story had truly begun (when the kids were first locked up there) and when the story was over (when they finally got to leave).  In Petals, without the attic, the story of Dollangangers often felt formless and random.  As a result, the film may have been watchable but it was rarely compelling.

Since Petals was supposed to take place ten years after the end of Flowers, all of the Dollanganger children were recast.  And while Rose McIvar and Wyatt Nash are both talented, they didn’t have much chemistry when they were on screen together (especially when compared to their predecessors in Flowers).  That lack of chemistry made all of the incest even ickier than it would normally be.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

All of the dancing, of course!  I also have to admit that, like Cathy, I’ve known a few Julians.

Lessons Learned

From a narrative point of view, it is sometimes better to just stay in the attic.

Petals on the Wind

What Lisa Watched Last Night #103: Death Clique (dir by Doug Campbell)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Bermuda Tentacles and Robot Vs. Aztec Mummy were not the only movies I watched on Saturday night.  I also DVRed Death Clique, a Lifetime original film.

Why Was I Watching It?

How can you not watch a film called Death Clique, especially when it’s on Lifetime?

What Was It About?

Teenagers Sara (Lexi Ainsworth) and Jade (Brittany Underwood) have been friends forever.  However, when new transfer student Ashley (Tina Ivlev) decides that she wants to be Jade’s new BFF, it leads to murder.  According to the opening credits, this is based on “true events.”  (There’s been a lot of speculation on the imdb message boards that Death Clique was based on the horrific murder of Skylar Neese but, while there are similarities, I don’t know that for sure.)

What Worked?

I’m not totally sure how closely Death Clique stuck to the true story that inspired it.  I’m going to guess that some parts of the film were heavily fictionalized, just by the fact that no “real” names were used.  But, even with all that in mind, Death Clique was a disturbing and effective movie about friendship, obsession, and murder.  When you watch as many Lifetime films as I do, you end up seeing a lot of melodrama in a lot of high schools.  Death Clique may not be the first Lifetime film to deal with this topic but it is unique in that it not only got the melodrama right but it got the little details right as well.

A lot of the credit for the film’s success has to go to the actresses who played the three friends — Lexi Ainsworth, Brittany Underwood, and Tina Ivlev were totally believable in their roles.

What Did Not Work?

It all worked.  This was an effective and well-made Lifetime film.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

There were more than I would like to admit.  When I think back to high school and even to college, I can see that there were times when I was just like Jade and when I was just like Sara.  I’ve been the girl with the new and possessive BFF and I’ve also been the girl who suddenly discovers that she’s become the third wheel.  While I don’t think I’ve ever truly been an Ashley, I know what its like to be possessive of a new friend.  Up until the murder, every scene in this film had me saying, “Oh my God!  Just like me!”

There’s one scene, in particular, that struck uncomfortably close to home for me.  That was when Jade and Ashley slashed the tires of a car belonging to their hated Spanish teacher.  In my case, the car belonged to an algebra teacher and, without going into too many details, I was totally justified.

Lessons Learned

Choose your friends carefully.

What Lisa and the Snarkalecs Watched Last Night #102: Bermuda Tentacles (dir by Nick Lyon)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, the Snarkalecs and I turned over to SyFy so we could watch and live tweet the latest offering from the Asylum, Bermuda Tentacles!

Why Were We Watching It?

Because it was the first SyFy original film of 2014, that’s why!  Seriously, yesterday should have been a freaking national holiday.  (Sad to say but rumor has it that the SyFy network may be looking to phase out original films — like Bermuda Tentacles — in order to devote more time to episodic television.  I sincerely hope that the network will reconsider that plan.)

What Was It About?

The President (John Savage) has gone missing in the Bermuda Triangle.  It’s up to rebellious Chief Petty Officer Trip Oliver (Trevor Donavon) to save him!  But while Trip and his crew float around under the sea in a submarine, gigantic CGI tentacles attack Admiral Linda Hamilton and the entire U.S. Navy.  Could the two events be related?

What Worked?

What do I always say about Asylum films?  It all worked.  Asylum films are the epitome of low-budget fun and that was certainly the case here.  To be honest, those who criticize a film like Bermuda Tentacles are missing the point.

Asylum films are designed to be watched by large groups of snarky individuals.  That’s why I always look forward to watching them with the Snarkalecs.  And I have to say that we, as a group, were on fire last night!  We were all in full snark mood and it was a wonderful thing to behold.  Unfortunately, we weren’t able to get #BermudaTentacles trending, largely because there were thousands of tweens tweeting about fucking Ashton Irwin at the same time we were tweeting about the movie.   But still, it was a good effort and everyone should be proud.

One thing that the Snarkalecs seemed to especially appreciate about Bermuda Tentacles was just how long, by Oval Office standards, the President’s hair was.

https://twitter.com/trinityskywlker/status/455164564212944896

Thank you, John Savage, for not getting a haircut!

What Did Not Work?

I have to admit that, unlike TSL editor-in-chief Arleigh Sandoc, I’m hardly an expert as far as military history or ranks are concerned.  However, it was obvious, even to me, that the Navy in Bermuda Tentacles didn’t appear to follow any sort of real-world protocol.  Quite a few people on twitter doubted that an admiral would be on a destroyer and some had issues with a scene where the President referred to Oliver as being a “soldier” as opposed to being a “sailor.”  This really wasn’t a big deal to me because, quite frankly, I hardly expect Asylum films to be documentaries.  However, judging from some of the comments on twitter, it was a big deal to quite a few people who had actually served in the Navy.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

I had a harder time than usual relating to the characters in Bermuda Tentacles, largely because they were all career military whereas I majored in art history.  I was happy to see that the Admiral was a woman and that none of the men in her command had any problems with taking orders from her.  I would hope that, if I was an admiral, I would be just as effective.

Lessons Learned

There’s nothing quite as uniquely fun as watching a SyFy film with the Snarkalecs.  I’m already excited for the SyFy premiere of Big Ass Spider next Saturday.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #101: The Trials of Cate McCall (dir by Karen Moncrieff)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last Saturday, I watched the Lifetime premiere of The Trials of Cate McCall.  (Okay, so technically I did not watch this last night.  Instead, I watched it on Saturday night.  However, if not for the fact that I came down with literally the world’s worst cold, I would have written this review on Sunday.  Cut a girl some slack, okay?)

Why Was I Watching It?

Because it was on Lifetime, of course!

What Was It About?

What isn’t it about?  Seriously, Cate McCall (Kate Beckinsale) has got a lot going on in her life.

Cate is a defense attorney.  She used to be a prosecutor but then she convicted the wrong man and she dealt with her guilt by becoming an alcoholic.  However, after being a few months sober and working under the watchful eye of her AA sponsor (Nick Nolte, of course), Cate is ready to take on the case of a Lacey Stubbs.  Cate is convinced that Lacey was wrongly convicted of murder and she is determined to get Lacey out of a prison.  Presiding over the case is Justice Sumpter (James Cromwell), who Cate had an affair with while she was a law student.

And, on top of all this, Cate is trying to get custody of her daughter and the innocent man she sent to prison wants to talk to her…

What Worked?

In the title role, Kate Beckinsale gave a great performance.  Due to the film’s somewhat disjointed editing, Kate had to basically carry the entire movie on her shoulders and she proved herself to be more than up to the task.

According to the imdb, Taye Diggs played the character of Austin Moseby.  However, at least in the version that was broadcast on Lifetime, there was no character named Austin Moseby and Taye Diggs was nowhere to be found.  I have to admit that I’ve had a lot of fun speculating about who Austin Moseby might have been and why Taye Diggs was apparently edited out of the film.  (Okay, technically, that’s not something that worked for the movie but it has worked towards keeping me amused.)

What Did Not Work?

Despite the snarky commentary that I posted on twitter while watching this film, I was really rooting for The Trials of Cate McCall.  Kate Beckinsale is one of my favorite actresses, I loved courtroom dramas, and I feel that I have something of a responsibility to support films that feature complex and multi-faceted female protagonists.  In other words, I so wanted The Trials of Cate McCall to be a good film.

Sadly, however, this film was never as good as I wanted it to be.  Whether it was the result of postproduction meddling or just inept filmmaking, The Trials of Cate McCall ultimately ended up feeling like a random collection of scenes that never quite added up to being a compelling narrative.  The film had potential but it just did not work.

Add to that, regardless of whether they were justified or not, Cate McCall’s actions towards the end of the film really should have gotten her disbarred.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

Who couldn’t relate to Cate’s struggles to balance about six hundred different things at one time?

Lessons Learned

Just because Taye Diggs is listed as being in a movie doesn’t mean that he’s actually in the movie…

What Lisa Watched Last Night #100: How To Stuff A Wild Bikini (dir by William Asher)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the 1965 beach film, How To Stuff A Wild Bikini.

Why Was It Watching It?

Last night, I was in a motel room in San Antonio.  Now, as I’m sure we all know, one of the great things about staying in a motel is that you get a chance to discover all sorts of strange television stations that you otherwise may not have known existed.  It was while flipping through these odd  stations that I came across the final ten minutes of Dr. Goldfoot And The Girl Bombs.  Dr. Goldfoot was followed by How To Stuff A Wild Bikini.

What Was It About?

Oh Lord, where to begin?

Okay, so Frankie (Frankie Avalon) is serving in the U.S. Navy and has been assigned to Tahiti.  However, he’s worried that his girlfriend Dee Dee (Annette Funicello) might not stay true to him while he’s gone.  Why he thinks that is a good question because, seriously, Dee Dee really doesn’t seem to be the type to cheat.

Frankie goes to the local witch doctor (played by Buster Keaton) who casts a spell that causes a magic bikini to appear on the beaches in California.  “Man,” one surfer says, “dig that wild bikini!”  “A bikini ain’t nothing without the stuffing!” his girlfriend replies.  Suddenly, Cassandra (Beverly Adams) appears, providing the “stuffing” for the magic bikini.  Cassandra has been sent to the beach to keep an advertising executive (Dwayne Hickman) from stealing Dee Dee from Frankie.

Oh!  And the witch doctor also turns Frankie into a pelican so Frankie can fly back to the beach to keep an eye on Dee Dee.

And Mickey Rooney is in this movie!

And there’s a motorcycle gang!

And … it’s a musical!

What Worked?

This was exactly the type of mid-1960s youth film that I like almost despite myself.  Plotwise, it was pretty incoherent.  Acting-wise, it was nothing special.  The songs were not memorable.  The attitudes were sexist.  The entire film felt cheap.  And yet, it was so weird and energetic and sincerely silly that there was no way I couldn’t like it.  If nothing else, watching this film is probably as close as I’ll ever get to experiencing 1965.

What Did Not Work?

After having seen several of his silent films on TCM, it was a bit sad to see how Buster Keaton ended his career.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

Cassandra had red hair, just like me!  Redheads unite!

Plus, I’ve been told that I look good in a wild bikini.

Lessons Learned

A bikini ain’t nothing … without the stuffing!