Film Review: Cast Away (dir by Robert Zemeckis)


“WILSON!”

Seriously, I’m usually pretty well-behaved when I watch a movie but every time I see the 2000 film Cast Away, I find myself thinking, “Protect Wilson!  You must protect Wilson!”  And then, every time, I feel the sting of tears in my eyes as Wilson, with that red-face and that understanding attitude, goes floating away.

Wilson is a volleyball.  When a FedEx executive named Chuck Noland (played by Tom Hanks) finds himself stranded on a desert island, Wilson becomes his only companion.  A stain from Chuck’s bloody palm creates something that resembles a face on Wilson’s rubber surface and Chuck spends a lot of time talking to Wilson.  It’s how Chuck maintains his sanity, even as he loses weight, sheds most of his clothes, and grows a beard.

Chuck learns how to make fire.  He learns how to catch fish.  He is able to survive due to the supplies that he gathers from the FedEx packages that were being carried on the plane that crashed into the island.  But Chuck never stops dreaming of returning home to his girlfriend (Helen Hunt).  Eventually, Chuck finds the courage to try to make the journey back to civilization.  He brings Wilson with him but ultimately, this is something that Chuck is going to have to do on his own.  Of course, Chuck has failed to consider that he’s been gone for years.  He is presumed dead.  On the Island, time seemed like it was frozen.  For the rest of the world, life has continued.

Cast Away is a film that a lot of people, especially online film commentators, tend to criticize.  The complaint is usually that the film is essentially a commercial for FedEx, that it’s not believable that Tom Hanks could survive on that island for as long as he did, and that the film itself has a weak ending.  I’ll concede that the film does make FedEx look like the nicest corporation on Earth.  (FedEx’s CEO appears as himself, which should tell you something about how the company is presented.)  And I will admit that the film’s time-advancing jump cut, which abruptly takes Hanks from being clean-shaven and husky to being thin and bearded, does leave a lot of unanswered questions.  But I will always defend the film’s ending.  The film ends on a note of ambiguity but how else could it have ended?  Everyone thought Chuck Noland was dead.  His girlfriend had every right to get on with her life and, in fact, it would have been psychologically unhealthy for her if she hadn’t.  As for that final shot, it’s an acknowledgment that Chuck doesn’t know what lies ahead of him in the future.  All he knows is that he life isn’t over yet.  It’s a melancholy ending.  It’s a frustrating ending.  But it’s also the only way the film could have ended and therefore, it’s a perfect ending.

Cast Away is a film that I will always defend and it’s also a film that really only could have worked with Tom Hanks in the lead role.  He plays Chuck as being the ultimate everyman, an affable guy who was just trying to do his job and whose survival of the initial plane crash was largely due to luck.  Hanks is one of those actors who is instantly sympathetic and Cast Away uses his screen persona to good effect.  You want him to survive because he’s Tom Hanks.  He may be playing a character named Chuck Noland but ultimately, he’s Tom Hanks.  He survived being trapped in space.  Surely, he can survive being stranded on an island.  The majority of the film is just Hanks talking to himself.  This would have brought out the worst in so many actors but Tom Hanks makes it work.  And yes, he’ll bring tears to your eyes as he watches Wilson float away.  That’s the power of a good actor.

As for Wilson, I like to think that he washed up in Pensecola.  Recently, I played a little volleyball on a beautiful Florida beach.  Was that you, Wilson?

 

Retro Television Reviews: Jennifer Slept Here 1.3 “Not With My Date You Don’t”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Jennifer Slept Here, which aired on NBC in 1983 and 1984.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Jennifer helps out when it looks like both Joey and Marc are about to get their hearts broken.

Episode 1.3 “Not With My Date You Don’t”

(Dir by John Bowab, originally aired on November 4th, 1983)

I should start this review with an admission.  Though every episode of Jennifer Slept Here has been uploaded to YouTube, some of the uploads are a bit better than others.  That’s not the fault of the uploader.  The uploader undoubtedly used the best copy of the third episode of Jennifer Slept Here that they had available.  It’s just an acknowledgement that Jennifer Slept Here is a show that briefly aired 40 years ago and it’s doubtful that anyone, at that time, knew that a reviewer would need a good copy of the third episode to watch in 2023.  The 3rd episode of the show is available on YouTube but the sound quality is a bit muddy and I often struggled to understand all of the dialogue.  So, I’m just going to admit right now that I did the best that I could and if I misheard anything, I apologize.

As for the episode itself, it opens with Joey rehearsing asking out a classmate in front of his mirror.  Jennifer materializes in a red dress that is to die for.  Joey asks Jennifer where she’s going to go in that outfit and Jennifer says that she’s just going out.  To be honest, Joey’s question is a good one because, seriously, where does Jennifer have to go?  She’s a ghost!

When Jennifer finds out that Joey is feeling nervous about asking pretty blonde Linda (Viveka Davis) to go on a date with him, she decides to help him out by going to school with him.  This makes sense because, as we all know, there’s nothing more attractive than a teenage boy who wanders around his school talking to himself.  Anyway, with Jennifer’s encouragement, Joey asks out Linda but she informs him that she already has a date ….. WITH MARC (Glenn Scarpelli)!  Marc is Joey’s annoying best friend.

Joey’s parents set him up with a blind date, who I think was named Eileen (Megan Daniels).  At least now Joey can go on a double date to the movies with Marc and Linda.  (Yeah, there’s no way that won’t be awkward.)  However, Eileen turns out to be a punk rocker with multi-colored hair, who yells at the movie and  totally embarrasses Joey in front of Marc, Linda, and Jennifer (who decides to tag along in ghost form).  Eileen decides that the movie sucks and leaves.  Linda asks Marc to go get her some more popcorn and, after he leaves, she immediately moves over to Marc and starts hitting on him.  Jennifer is scandalized, saying that Linda has no morals.

Later, after the date, Joey is feeling pretty proud of himself when Marc suddenly shows up and accuses Joey of “stealing my girl.”  This brings their friendship to an end.  Yay!  Seriously, Marc is a dork!  Joey needed a better friend.  Jennifer, however, is upset that Joey is allowing Linda — a girl with no morals! — come between him and his dorky friend.

The next day, in school, Jennifer decides to take actions into her own invisible ghost hands by grabbing Linda, shoving her up to the chalkboard, and then grabbing Linda’s hand and forcing her to write that she lied on the chalkboard.  Apparently, the reason she lied was to get Joey to buy her tickets to a Rick Springfield concert but don’t quote me on that.  This where that muddy soundtrack kicked in and made it difficult for me to follow all of the conversations.  All I know that Jennifer forced Linda to write, “I lied” and then Jennifer added, “Springfield tickets” underneath Linda’s admission.  So, that would suggest Linda either wanted to see Rick Springfield or maybe Dusty Springfield, depending on the depths of her musical knowledge.  Or maybe she actually wrote Springsteen on the chalkboard.  I really couldn’t tell.  The important thing is that Joey dumps Linda for being dishonest and he and Marc are friends again.

Even when it came to the parts that I could understand, I wasn’t a huge fan of this episode, largely because I felt it was way too judgmental of Linda.  I mean, really, the only thing that Linda did was flirt with a guy who she hoped would take her to a concert.  It’s not like she was married to either Marc or Joey.  In fact, she only went out with Marc once before hitting on Joey so it’s not like Linda was really even dating either one of them.  Ann Jillian’s outfits were cute but this episode just didn’t work for me.

Back to School Part II #18: Not My Kid (dir by Michael Tuchner)


Not_my_kid

Not My Kid, a made-for-television from 1985, opens with 15 year-old Susan Bower (Viveka Davis) in a car with her friends.  They’re drunk.  They’re stoned.  They’re laughing.  And soon, they’re screaming as the driver loses control and the car ends up getting overturned!  (I’ve had that happen before.  It wasn’t fun but I survived with only a few cuts and bruises.)  Susan isn’t seriously hurt but, at the hospital, it’s discovered that she has alcohol and drugs in her bloodstream.

“NOT MY KID!” her father, surgeon Frank Bower (George Segal), declares.

“NOT MY KID!” her mother, Helen Bower (Stockard Channing, totally wasted in a thinly written role), agrees.

“Totally your kid!” her younger sister, Kelly (Christa Denton), says before then revealing where Susan hides her drugs.  This leads to Kelly getting beaten up by Susan and her drug addict boyfriend, Ricky (Tate Fuckin’ Donavon, decades before playing a hostage in Argo.).

Anyway, neither Frank nor Helen want to admit that Susan has a drug problem so instead, they go to see a smug family counselor who tells them that they are both being too hard on their daughter and that they need to just let Susan be Susan.  That sounds like a good (and easy) plan but then Susan runs away and disappears for two days.  After she’s finally found, stoned and hiding out in the family’s boat, her parents finally decide to send her to rehab.

The rehab is run by Dr. Royce.  Dr. Royce is played by Andrew Robinson and it took me a while to recognize him as being the same actor who played the Scorpio Killer in Dirty Harry.  Perhaps that explains why Dr. Royce came across as being such a creepy character.  As I watched this movie, I kept waiting for the big reveal where Dr. Royce would turn out to be a murderer or something.  That never happened, of course.  In the world of Not My Kid, the harsh and confrontational Dr. Royce is the only thing keeping the entire teenage population for shooting up heroin.

The majority of the film takes place at the rehab and it gets annoying pretty quickly.  This is one of those places where everything is done as a group activity.  Whenever someone says something, everyone in the group replies with, “We love you, so-and-so.”  When Susan doesn’t act properly ashamed of herself, the group gangs up on her.  “You’re a phony!” someone says.  “You’re full of crap!” another person adds.  “We love you, Susan,” the group chants.

AGCK!  Seriously, the rehab scenes totally freaked me out because it came across less like therapy and more like brainwashing.  I spent the entire movie waiting for Susan to escape and when she did, I was happy for her.  She may have been a self-destructive drug addict but at least wasn’t a mindless zombie like everyone else in the movie!  But then she ended up getting caught by her father and taken back to the rehab.

Meanwhile, her parents are going through therapy as well.  Again, it’s all group therapy.  When Frank tries to talk about how Susan’s behavior makes him feel, someone says, “You’re a phony!’  Another person adds, “You’re full of crap!”  And the group chants, “We love you, Frank.”  Okay, to be honest, I’m taking some dramatic license with the dialogue here but hopefully, you get the general idea.

I mean, seriously — I understand that I was supposed to be like, “Yay rehab!” while watching the movie but the rehab came across more like some sort of creepy cult.  It reminded me of both a Canadian film called, Ticket To Heaven and a Texas film called Split Image.  As I watched Not My Kid, I kept waiting for James Woods to show up as a cult deprogrammer.

Anyway, don’t worry.  Everything turns out well in the end.  This was a made-for-TV movie, after all.  Not My Kid is way too heavy-handed for its own good and it lacks a certain self-awareness.  On a more positive note, George Segal does a good job in the role of Frank.

You can watch Not My Kid below!