Tag Archives: TV

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Nightmare Café 1.5 “Sanctuary For A Child”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Nightmare Café, which ran on NBC from January to April of 1992.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, the café goes country!

Episode 1.5 “Sanctuary For A Child”

(Dir by Armand Mastroianni, originally aired on March 27th, 1992)

On tonight’s episode of Nightmare Café, we learn a few things about the café.  Apparently, the café is not just located in Los Angeles.  It can materialize anywhere on the planet but it apparently does so on its own.  Though Blackie (played by Robert Englund) claims to be the proprietor of the café, this episode suggests that he actually has no control over it.  While Blackie apparently does know why the Nightmare Café does the things that it does, it would appear that the café still has a mind of its own.  It decides where it is going and it decides when it is time to leave.

This episode, for instance, begins with the Nightmare Café materializing on a street in a small, country town.  Soon after it materializes, both Frank and Fay also materialize inside the café.  I’ve often wondered where Frank and Fay go whenever the café is closed for business.  Frank and Fay, after all, are essentially ghosts.  Do they need to eat or sleep?  This episode suggests that they do, as Fay complains about having to get up early because “the café” has decided to open up the crack of dawn.

Soon enough, a young boy named Luke Wall (Brandon Quintin Adams) comes walking into the café.  He and Frank immediately bond, with Frank realizing that Luke is trying to run away from home.  What Frank discovers upon following Luke out of the café is that Luke’s home is in a hospital.  Luke is in a coma and has been for quite some time.  Frank also discovers that the café has materialized in his home town, the place that he left when he joined the Navy and to which he thought he would never return.  Luke is the son of Frank’s former best friend, Tom (Vondie Curtis-Hall), and his ex-girlfriend, Evelyn (Angela Bassett).  Frank explains to Fay that Evelyn was the love of his life but his racist father demanded that they break up.  That was one of the main reasons why Frank left town and has never returned.

So, the Nightmare Cafe wants two things to happen.  It wants Tom and Evelyn to make peace with Luke’s impending death and also with each other.  And it wants Frank to deal with his past and his feelings towards his late father.

And that’s exactly what happens.  It’s a sweet episode, even if it’s a bit predictable and heavy-handed enough to end with “The Living Years” playing on the soundtrack.  In many ways, this felt more like an episode of Highway to Heaven than an episode of Nightmare Café but, as was so often the case with this show, the strong performances of the cast carried the narrative over any rough spots.  In the end, Frank made his peace with the past, Luke moved on to the afterlife, and the Nightmare Café moved on to a new town.

Next week: the final episode of Nightmare Café!

Horror on TV: Baywatch Nights 2.11 “Possession” (dir by David W. Hagar)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight’s bonus episode of televised horror is an episode of Baywatch Nights that deals with something that every lifeguard eventually has to deal with: demonic possession.

Well, actually, it’s not so much demonic possession as its dead serial killer possession but it’s still definitely not a good thing.  That’s especially true when it’s a friend and/or co-worker getting possessed.  I mean, it’s never fun to end a relationship but having to end it because someone managed to get possessed …. I just don’t see how you live that down.

And, before anyone gets the wrong idea, Hasselhoff is not the one who gets possessed.  It would have been fun if he had been but no.  Sorry.

This episode originally aired on February 2nd, 1997.

Horror on TV: The Hitchhiker 6.19 “Secrets” (dir by Jacques Richard)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

On tonight’s episode of The Hitchhiker, a woman and her lover attempt to collect her husband’s health insurance after his death.  Unfortunately, for them, her husband might have something to say about that.

This episode originally aired on February 15th, 1991.

A Halloween Blast From The Past: Halloween Is Grinch Night (dir by Gerard Baldwin)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

So, we all know that the Grinch once tried to steal to Christmas and then his heart grew a few sizes but did you know that apparently, the Grinch also tried to steal Halloween?

Until a few years ago, I did not.  I was going through YouTube, searching for horror films that I could share here on the Shattered Lens, and guess what I came across?

A TV special from Halloween, 1977 entitled Halloween is Grinch Night!

Unlike How The Grinch Stole Christmas, Halloween is Grinch Night apparently never became a holiday classic.  Perhaps that’s because Halloween is Grinch Night is not exactly the most heart-warming of holiday specials.  Whereas How The Grinch Stole Christmas tells us about how the Grinch learned the true meaning of Christmas, Halloween is Grinch Night gives us a Grinch who has no redeeming features.  There is no hope for this Grinch.  This Grinch will steal your soul and probably drink your blood.  This Grinch is pure Grinchy evil.

This is the Grinch of our nightmares.

Check out Halloween is Grinch Night below and hope the Grinch doesn’t capture you this Halloween….

Retro Television Reviews: Miami Vice 1.8 “No Exit”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Bruce Willis comes to Miami!

Episode 1.8 “No Exit”

(Dir by David Soul, originally aired on November 9th, 1984)

Tony Amato is a complete monster.

He’s an arms dealer, one who is responsible for machine guns showing up all over Miami.  When he’s not selling guns to drug dealers, he’s plotting to sell rocket launchers to terrorists.  He’s a crude and a violent man who has suddenly gotten very wealthy and who likes to show off his money.  He lives in a pink, art deco mansion.  He has a beautiful wife named Rita (Katherine Borowitz), who he regularly abuses.  Miami Vice wants to arrest him to get the guns off the street.  The federal government wants to arrest him so that they can get their rocket launchers back.  And Rita …. well, Rita just wants to hire someone to kill him.

Tony Amato is a memorable character because of just how thoroughly evil he actually is.  He’s a criminal because he enjoys it and it doesn’t bother him that his weapons can lead to innocent people dying. Tony is also memorable because he’s played by Bruce Willis.  This was Willis’s first credited acting role.  (He had appeared as an extra in a few movies before this.)  Willis got the role on the recommendation of Don Johnson, who remembered Bruce as being the bartender at one of his favorite New York bars.  Though there’s not a lot of depth to the role, Willis does get to show off the cocky confidence that would later become his trademark.

As for the episode, it’s dark even by the standards of Miami Vice.  The episode opens with a violent chase and gunfight in the streets of Miami and it ends, just as the previous episode did, with an abused spouse probably throwing their life away to get revenge.  We watch as Tubbs, Crockett, and Lester (Julio Oscar Mechesco) sneak into Tony’s mansion and manage to bug the place before Tony returns home.  They set up their survelliance operation on Crockett’s boat.  Of course, things pretty much fall apart as soon as the federal agents show up and demand to be allowed to oversee the operation.

While the Miami cops and the federal agents fight over jurisdiction, Crockett tries to help Rita escape from her husband.  He approaches her while she’s waiting to meet with a hitman and convinces her to let the cops handle it.  He promises her that he will put Tony away, even though he knows nothing is ever that simple.  Both Katherine Borowitz and Don Johnson do a good job in their scenes together.  Deep down, Crockett knows that he’s giving Rita false hope but he can’t bring himself to admit it.

Tubbs, once again, gets to break out his Jamaican accent as he goes undercover as a terrorist who is in the market for Tony’s rocket launchers.  Through Tubbs’s hard work, Tony is arrested but, on the steps of the courthouse, two new government agents demand that Tony be released because they’ve determined him to be a potential asset in their own Central American operations.  Tony smirks as his handcuffs are removed.  Rita appears on the steps, demanding to know why Tony is being set free.  She pulls a gun from her purse.  We got a freeze frame of Sonny shouting, “NO!” as a gunshot echoes on the soundtrack.  Tony may be dead (and we never specifically see whether Rita’s aim was true or not) but his guns are still on the streets, the people he sold to are still free, and the only person going to prison is going to be an abused wife.

Like I said, this was a dark episode.  This is one of those episodes that left the viewer to wonder why Cockett and Tubbs even bothered to make the effort.  In the end, all their hard work added up to nothing.  For Crockett, the case became about saving Rita but the government was more concerned about their own shady schemes that protecting its citizens.  Of course, even if Tony had been sent to prison, someone else would have taken his place.  That’s life in Miami.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Degrassi Junior High 1.7 “Best Laid Plans”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi Junior High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1987 to 1989!  The series can be streamed on YouTube!

This week, Degrassi goes there!

Episode 1.7 “Best Laid Plan”

(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on March 1st, 1987)

This week’s episode of Degrassi Junior High is cringe city.  I mean that in a good way.  Seriously, Degrassi Junior High may be close to 40 years old but awkwardness about sex, especially when you’re still trying to figure out what it’s all about, is a timeless subject.

Stephanie (Nicole Stoffman) has had a crush on Wheels (Neil Hope) since the series began but their one date ended in disaster when Stephanie had too much to drink beforehand.  Still, she finally works up the courage to ask Wheels if he wants to do something on Friday night and Wheels says yes!  Yay!

Voula (Niki Kemeny), who is absolutely one of the worst characters in the history of Degrassi, pops up to once again whine about Stephanie not thanking her when she won the school presidency and to accuse Stephanie of being sleazy just because she doesn’t dress like a member of polygamous cult.  SHUT UP, VOULA!  Your father won’t even let you stay out past 9:00.

Stephanie gets even more excited when her mother (Pat Beaven) tells Stephanie that she has a date on Friday and she’ll be out of the house.  Stephanie drops Wheels a note asking him to come to her house at 7:30.  Soon, everyone is school is talking about how Stephanie and Wheels are definitely going to do it on their date.  When the creepy twins ask Stephanie if she’s really going to have sex with Wheels, Stephanie shrugs in the fashion of someone trying to be more worldly than she actually is.

Meanwhile, Stephanie is still refusing to admit that Arthur (Duncan Waugh) is her brother.  This annoys Arthur but at least his best friend Yick Yu (Siluck Saysanasy) has managed to get his hands on a VHS copy of Swamp Sex Robots.  Yick wants to watch it but, this being the 80s, the only way to watch it would be to pop it in the living room VCR and his parents are always at home.  Wait a minute!  Arthur has a VCR and both his mother and his sister have dates!

Wheels, feeling insecure about sex, talks to his father (Timm Zemanek).  (Of course, true Degrassi fans know that Wheels is actually adopted and his real father is a drunk living on the other side of Canada but it’ll be a while until we reach that storyline.)  His father tells Wheels that it’s important to use protection so Wheels heads down to the local drug store and purchases some condoms.  The pharmacist is concerned that someone as young as Wheels needs condoms and she gives him a bunch of sex safe pamphlets.  What Wheels doesn’t know is that the pharmacist is also …. STEPHANIE’S MOTHER!

OH MY GOD!  Seriously, cringe!

It’s Friday night!  After embarrassing Stephanie and Arthur by giving them safe sex pamphlets at the dinner table, Stephanie’s mom is waiting for her date.  Stephanie is trying to get ready for Wheels without her mom seeing the slutty outfit that she’s wearing.  And Arthur wants everyone to get out of the house before Yick and his gang of pervs show up to watch Swamp Sex Robots.  Stephanie’s mom’s date arrives on time.  Unfortunately, Wheels shows up early and, when Stephanie’s mom opens the door, both dates are standing on the porch, holding flowers.

“You’re the boy from the pharmacy!” Stephanie’s mom says before yelling at Stephanie to come downstairs.

Stephanie’s hasty attempt to toss on a bathrobe as she comes downstairs doesn’t fool her mother.  After seeing how her daughter usually dresses outside of the house, Stephanie’s mom sends her date home and then yanks Wheels into the house so that she can give both Stephanie and Wheels a lecture about being too young for sex.  Unfortunately, before she can really get into that lecture, Yick and his friends show up wanting to watch their porn….

Seriously, this was a great episode and it represented everything that made Degrassi special.  It was honest but it was funny and it had me cringing as I had flashbacks to my own days of wannabe wild youth.  Like last week’s episode, Best Laid Plans (great title) proved to be too controversial for the UK and the BBC declined to air the episode.

Seriously, Degrassi goes there!

Horror on TV: Baywatch Nights 2.11 “Frozen Out Of Time” (dir by Rick Jacobson)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight, with Halloween only a few days away, The Shattered Lens is proud to present a bonus episode of televised horror!  In this beloved episode of Baywatch Nights, two 900 year-old Vikings are causing chaos in Los Angeles!  Who can stop them?

David Hasselhoff, of course!

This episode originally aired on February 9th, 1997!

Horror on TV: The Hitchhiker 6.16 “Made in Paris” (dir by Rene Mazor)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

On tonight’s episode of The Hitchhiker, a factory owner finds himself cursed after an undocumented worker dies in his factory.  This is a Hitchhiker morality play.  If you’re a businessperson who doesn’t take of your employees, the Hitchhiker is going to show up outside your factory and tell everyone what a terrible person you are.

The episode originally aired on January 25th, 1991.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out 1.4 “X-Ray Marks The Spot”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, it’s physical time!

Episode 1.4 “X-Ray Marks The Spot”

(Dir by Stan Harris, originally aired on October 23rd, 1985)

Oh, the drama never ends in Canada!

Cobb’s has just switched over to a new insurance plan and all of the employees are going to have to get physicals to make sure that they qualify.  That means that everyone has to come in on Monday, regardless of whether it’s their day off or not.  (Since the store only seems to have 3 cashiers and one stockboy, I’m not sure they can afford to give anyone a day off.)  The physicals will be done right in the store parking lot which …. wait, what?  That’s a bit intrusive.

(Actually, I assume they have some sort of mobile doctor’s office but that’s never really made clear in the dialogue, which led me to imagine all of the characters getting poked and prodded in the middle of the parking lot.)

That’s not the only problem!  Murray the stock boy put a lot of cans in the storeroom and, after a torrential downfall, he discovered that he put all the cans underneath a hole in the roof.  The cans got wet and their labels peeled off.  Christian suggests just donating the cans to charity and taking a tax write-off but Howard points out that some of the cans were dog food.  “Okay,” Christian says, “give it to poor people with pets!”

(Actually, that’s not a bad idea….)

Howard, himself, is upset because he nearly got run over by a kid driving a car.  He tells Edna that he hates kid.  Howard picks the worst time to tell Edna this because, before coming to work, she took a pregnancy test and guess who is expecting?

Edna tries to keep the news from Howard until he’s in a better mood but then she discovers that she’ll have to get an x-ray at the physical and, when she tells Howard why she can’t do that, Howard is not particularly enthused about the prospect of being a father.  Edna gets upset and leaves Canada for Florida!

How will all of this get resolved?

Well, the mystery of the cans is solved when Murray gets them ex-rayed.  I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to sell people food that was just zapped with radiation but whatever.

Edna leaving is temporarily resolved when Marlene, who is the best character on the show, become Howard’s new secretary.  Marlene turns out to be so bad at her job that I was cringing at my own memories of my first day as an administrative assistant.  Fortunately, Edna returns and takes her old job back.

She also tearfully tells Howard that the test was incorrect and she’s not pregnant.  Edna sits down at her desk, opens the desk drawer, and discovers the stuffed Panda bear that Howard bought while she was gone.  “Awwwwwww!” the studio audience said.  And, I’ll be honest, I said it too.

The first half of this episode really didn’t work for me, largely because both Don Adams and Dinah Christie (in the roles of Howard and Edna, respectively) had a tendency to go BIG in their performances and that pretty much made it impossible for me to really get emotionally involved with their story.  It was a bit too obvious that they weren’t lovers but that they were instead just two actors reciting their lines.  The second half of the episode was a marked improvement, when both Adams and Christie dialing back their performances and actually talking like real human beings.  Shaky start aside, the episode did kind of earn that “awwww” from the audience.

Next week, a contest goes wrong!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Televison: 10/22/23 — 10/28/23

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

I’ve got so much stuff piling up on the DVR.  I’ll get caught up on it all in November!

Big Brother (24/7, CBS and Paramount Plus)

I wrote about this stupid show over at the Reality TV Chat Blog!  I will be so happy when this season is over.  Every day, I pray for the cancellation of this show.

Check It Out! (Tubi)

I watched the fourth episode of Check It Out! on Friday.  My review will drop in a few hours.

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi Junior High here!

Dragnet (Weekday Morning, MeTV)

I woke up early enough on Monday that, when I turned on television, I found myself watching the episode of Dragnet where Joe Friday served on a review board that was investigating whether a police officer had failed to properly identity himself.  It was not one of the more interesting episodes of Dragnet.

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched an episode of Dr. Phil in which Phil interviewed a woman who shaved her head and faked having cancer.  The woman said that she felt very guilty.  Dr. Phil didn’t buy it.

On Tuesday morning, I watched Dr. Phil talk to a woman who was in an abusive marriage with a total jerk.  Dr. Phil called the jerk a “loud-mouthed bully” but it didn’t really seem to do much good.  Later, on Tuesday evening, I watched an episode about an out-of-control teen named Taylor.  Phil yelled at the parents but he didn’t seem to do much good for Taylor.

On Saturday night, I watched an episode about a disastrous wedding that was still tearing a family apart.  Seriously, it was a really bad wedding.  I think the only solution was for the wife to get a divorce.  “Wow,” Dr. Phil said, in his condescending way.

Gun (Tubi)

I wrote about Gun here.

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

The Hitchhiker (YouTube)

I watched several episodes of The Hitchhiker this week, while choosing which ones to feature on the site.  It was a bit of an uneven show but, when it worked, it worked.  I loved Page Fletcher’s super-judgmental monologues.

It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (Apple TV+)

Erin and I watched this classic on Thursday.  Read Erin’s’ thoughts on it here!

Jennifer Slept Here (YouTube)

I wrote about Jennifer Slept Here here!

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Nightmare Café (YouTube)

I wrote about Nightmare Café here!

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Toy Story Of Terror (Disney Plus)

Erin and I watched this on Thursday, after we watched It’s The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown.  I love the toys!  This isn’t their best adventure but it’s still nice to see and hear everyone again.

The Vanishing Shadow (Night Flight Plus)

I watched Chapter Three of this serial on Friday night.  In this episode, the invisibility ray was used.

Welcome Back Kotter (Tubi)

I reviewed Welcome Back Kotter here!

Yes Prime Minister (Monday Morning, PBS)

A member of Jim’s cabinet had a plan that he felt would help the economy and reduce unemployment.  Sir Humphrey felt that the cabinet member was a pointless radical and encouraged Jim to ignore him.  This episode featured one of my favorite sources of humor on this show, Jim’s tendency to just agree with whoever last spoke to him.  It feels like a very realistic portrait of the way governments work.