Since I reviewed Robert Bloch’s novel, The Night of the Ripper, earlier today, it seems only appropriate that tonight’s excursion into televised horror should be based on another Robert Bloch story about Jack the Ripper!
Yours Truly, Jack The Ripper is a classic episode of the 60s anthology series, Thiller. This episode aired on April 11th, 1961 and it was directed by the Oscar-winning actor, Ray Milland!
Enjoy!
Tonight’s episode of One Step Beyond deals with a bellboy named Gerald Perkins (David Opatoshu). Gerald keeps telling everyone that there’s going to be an earthquake but no one’s willing to listen to him. Everyone knows that Gerald is a recovering alcoholic so they assume that he’s just drinking again. Needless to say, it’s far easier to fire someone than to listen to his insane ramblings, right?
Well, considering that this story takes place in San Francisco in 1906, perhaps they should have listened.
According to host John Newland, this is a true story. It originally aired on January 12th, 1960!
Enjoy!
On tonight’s episode of One Step Beyond.…
A young woman (Suzanne Pleshette) desperately needs a blood transfusion. Fortunately, the police have managed to track down one of the only people to share her blood type, an accountant named Harold Stern (Norman Lloyd). Harold seems like a nice, rather mild-mannered guy and he has a long history of donating blood. However, when the police approach him, Harold refuses to donate.
“What type of crumb are you!?” the police demand.
Harold explains that, whenever he gives someone blood, he develops a psychic connection with that person. He can see their future. And that’s simply a burden that he can no longer shoulder….
This episode of One Step Beyond originally aired on September 15th, 1959. Norman Lloyd, who plays Harold, got his start as a member of Orson Welles’s Mercury Theater and he also played the villain in Alfred Hitchcock’s Saboteur. (Speaking of Hitchcock, Suzanne Pleshette played the doomed school teacher in The Birds.) When Lloyd appeared in this episode of One Step Beyond, he was 44 years old.
Today, Norman Lloyd is 103 years old and guess what? He’s still acting! He had a role in Trainwreck and still occasionally appears on television.
Enjoy!
For today’s televised horror, we have an episode of the 1960s anthology series, One Step Beyond. From what I’ve been able to gather, One Step Beyond was like The Twilight Zone, except that it often claimed that it’s stories were all based on fact.
In The Mask, a World War II-era fighter pilot crashes in the Sahara. Though he’s eventually rescued, he’s forced to wear a mask while recovering from his injuries. When the mask is removed, everyone is shocked to discover that Lt. Harold Wilesnki not only look like an ancient Egyptian prince but he also seems to have the prince’s memories as well!
The Mask originally aired on March 1st, 1960.
Enjoy!
“It’s a cookbook!”
During the month of October, we like to share classic episodes of horror-themed television. That was easier to do when we first started doing our annual October horrorthon here at the Shattered Lens because every single episode of the original, black-and-white Twilight Zone was available on YouTube. Sadly, that’s no longer the case. In fact, there is exactly one episode of the original Twilight Zone on YouTube.
Fortunately, that episode is a classic. In 1962’s To Serve Man, an alien (Richard Kiel) comes to Earth and invites people to return to his home planet with him. He leaves behind a book. When everyone learns that the title of the book is To Serve Man, they excitedly decide that the book must be an instruction manual on how to help mankind. The truth, as we learn in the episode’s classic finale, is something a little bit different.
Here’s the episode! Watch it before YouTube yanks it down.
(This episode originally aired on October 2nd, 1962. It was directed by Richard L. Bare from a script by Rod Serling. It was based on a short story by Damon Knight.)
Enjoy!
Once upon a time, there were two shows about women who could speak with the dead.
One show ran from 2005 to 2011. It starred a future Oscar winner and, over the course of its run, it was nominated for a bunch of Emmys. It may have never been a huge hit but it received decent ratings and, even more importantly, it was a critically acclaimed. The show claimed to be based on fact and it took a low-key, procedural approach to its stories.
The second show ran from 2005 to 2010 and it starred a multiple Golden Globe nominee and it was never nominated for any major Emmys. (The first season, however, did receive a Teen Choice nomination.) Like the first show, it was never exactly a big hit, though it did have a loyal audience. Whereas the first show was acclaimed by critics, the second show was routinely dismissed. If the first show was subdued and low-key, this second show took the exact opposite approach.
The first show was called Medium.
The second show was called Ghost Whisperer.
I watched both of them and I can tell you that both had their strengths and their weaknesses. Medium was, at time, genuinely creepy and Patricia Arquette gave an admirably serious performance. At the same time, the show was often so serious that it was a bit of a drag to watch. You may have believed that Arquette could talk to the dead but you never really bought into the idea that they would want to talk to her or anyone else on the show. In short, Medium was good but it wasn’t much fun.
Ghost Whisperer, on the other hand…
Listen, I’m not even going to pretend that Ghost Whisperer was a great show. It was a frequently silly and over-the-top show. Jennifer Love Hewitt played Melinda Gordon, who lived in Grandview, New York and who owned an antique shop called — I kid you not — Same As It Never Was Antiques. The dead would come to Melinda because they still had feelings that needed to be resolved on Earth before they could cross over into the afterlife. Sometimes the ghosts were in denial. Sometimes they were rude, violent, and scary. Sometimes they were just mildly quirky. But they always ended up happy that Melinda was able to find a way for them to move on. Over the course of five seasons, the show developed both the quirkiness of the town and the mythology behind the ghosts themselves. We learned about the Watchers and the Shadows and the Shinies and the Book of Changes. We also learned a bit about Melinda’s history. Season 3 ended with Melinda helping her deceased father go into the light and you better believe I cried.
If Medium was an often dour, somber, and deliberately frumpy show, Ghost Whisperer was bright, fun, and unapologetically glamorous. While poor Patricia Arquette always seemed to be carrying the entire weight of the world on her shoulders, Jennifer Love Hewitt always appeared to be having a blast playing Melinda. While she may not have been as good as an actress as Patricia Arquette, Jennifer Love Hewitt always brought just enough natural enthusiasm to the role that she could make even the most hackneyed of dialogue believable. When I looked over some of the reviews of Ghost Whisperer’s first season, the immediate thing that I noticed was that many of the critics (in particular, the male critics) were obsessed with pointing out that Jennifer Love Hewitt was continually dressed and filmed in such a way to emphasize her breasts, as if there’s some sort of crime in being proud of what you have. But for me, as someone who shares the struggle of trying to find cute clothes for big boobs, it was empowering that Melinda didn’t hide her body, her personality, or her beliefs. As played by Hewitt, Melinda was confident, outspoken, and unapologetic. Yes, she dressed a certain way. Yes, she looked a certain way. Yes, she believed that she could help ghosts cross over. And if anyone had a problem with it, so what? Melinda was a role model who never really got her due. If I ever find myself speaking to ghosts, I hope that I handle it half as well as Melinda did.
Ghost Whisperer ended in 2010 and Medium ended in 2011. Medium may have been nominated for more awards but guess which one I’ll always make a point to watch in syndication?
Previous Guilty Pleasures
To be honest, I didn’t actually watch the Emmys this year. For one thing, I was upset that Twin Peaks was not nominated for Best Limited Series and I was even more upset that Kyle MacLachlan was totally overlooked. It’s hard for me to take seriously an awards show that snubs Twin Peaks but honors Alec Baldwin’s uninspired Donald Trump impersonation.
However, I did kind of follow the ceremony on twitter. I was happy, for instance, to learn that Bill Hader and Henry Winkler won for Barry and that Thandie Newton won for Westworld. The Emmy that should have gone to Twin Peaks went to The Assassination of Gianni Verscace, which was good but uneven. (The first five episodes were brilliant. The final three felt somewhat superfluous.) Ryan Murphy beat David Lynch for Best Director. I mean, what the Hell?
Anyway, here’s the winners!
Best Comedy: “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” (Amazon)
Best Drama:“Game of Thrones” (HBO)
Best Limited Series: “The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story” (FX)
Best Actress, Comedy: Rachel Brosnahan, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”
Best Actor, Comedy: Bill Hader, “Barry”
Best Actress, Drama: Claire Foy, “The Crown”
Best Actor, Drama: Matthew Rhys, “The Americans”
Supporting Actress, Drama: Thandie Newton, “Westworld”
Supporting Actor, Drama: Peter Dinklage, “Game of Thrones”
Supporting Actress, Comedy: Alex Borstein, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”
Supporting Actor, Comedy: Henry Winkler, “Barry”
Best Actress, Limited Series or TV Movie: Regina King, “Seven Seconds”
Best Actor, Limited Series or TV Movie: Darren Criss, “The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story”
Supporting Actress, Limited Series or a Movie: Merritt Wever, “Godless”
Supporting Actor, Limited Series or Movie: Jeff Daniels, “Godless”
*Television Movie: “Black Mirror: USS Callister” (Netflix)
Variety Sketch Series: “Saturday Night Live” (NBC)
Variety Talk Series: “Last Week Tonight With John Oliver”(HBO)
Reality Competition Program: “RuPaul’s Drag Race” (VH1)
*Reality Host: RuPaul, “RuPaul’s Drag Race”
*Structured Reality Program: “Queer Eye” (Netflix)
*Unstructured Reality Program: “United Shades Of America With W. Kamau Bell” (CNN)
*Guest Actress, Drama: Samira Wiley, “The Handmaid’s Tale”
*Guest Actor, Drama: Ron Cephas Jones, “This Is Us”
*Guest Actress, Comedy: Tiffany Haddish, “Saturday Night Live”
*Guest Actor, Comedy: Katt Williams, “Atlanta”
*Documentary or Nonfiction Series: “Wild Wild Country” (Netflix)
*Animated Program: “Rick And Morty” (Adult Swim)
Writing for a Comedy Series: Amy Sherman-Palladino, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” (Pilot)
Writing for a Drama Series: Joel Fields & Joe Weisberg, “The Americans” (“Start”)
Writing for a Limited Series, Movie or Drama: William Bridges & Charlie Brooker, “Black Mirror: USS Callister”
Directing for a Comedy Series: Amy Sherman-Palladino, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” (Pilot)
Directing for a Drama Series: Stephen Daldry, “The Crown” (“Paterfamilias”)
Directing for a Limited Series: Ryan Murphy, “The Assassination Of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story” (“The Man Who Would Be Vogue”)
*Directing for a Variety Series: Don Roy King, “Saturday Night Live” (Host: Donald Glover)
Writing for a Variety Special: John Mulaney, “John Mulaney: Kid Gorgeous At Radio City”
Directing for a Variety Special: Glenn Weiss, “The Oscars”
*Awards presented during the Creative Arts Emmy ceremony on Sept. 8-9.
Do you remember Shipping Wars?
It’s okay if you don’t. I have to admit that, up until yesterday, I had pretty much forgotten about it. Shipping Wars was a reality show that aired, for three years, on A&E. From 2012 to 2015, the show followed independent contractors as they transported various weird things across America. It was produced by the same people who did Storage Wars and, like that show, a good deal of emphasis was put on the various contractors competing against each other to get the biggest contracts and secure the most profitable paydays. As I said, I had pretty much forgotten about the show until yesterday. That’s when I came across a Shipping Wars marathon on the FYI channel and I was immediately reminded of just how addictive this stupid show could be.
A typical episode of Shipping Wars would open with all of the shippers (as they were called) hanging out in their trucks and staring at their laptops. All of them competed for shipments in timed auctions held on uShip.com. (Basically, the entire show was a commercial for uShip but I’m too much of a capitalist to care.) Typically, each episode featured two auctions. Once the shipper had won their auction, it was then up to them to transport their cargo to a new location without destroying it or arriving late. That may sound simple enough but it was rare that anyone managed to pull of either one of those requirements. That can only mean that it’s either really difficult to transport stuff or that all of the shipper on Shipping Wars were amazingly incompetent.
Of course, the camera crew would follow each shipper as they made their journey. The shippers who did not win the auction would randomly pop up to offer up sarcastic commentary on how their rival was doing. The commentary was notable for how thoroughly petty it often got. For instance, if a shipper got caught in a rain storm, you could just bet that someone would remark, “It looks like your approval rating’s about to go underwater.” If a truck got a flat tire, the commentary would usually be something like, “Way to check your tires before getting out on the road, dumbass!” What they shippers lacked in wit, they made up for in pure spite.
Spite defined most episodes of Shipping Wars. One of the remarkable things about that show is that absolutely no one ever appeared to be in a good mood. It wasn’t just the shippers who seemed to be terminally annoyed. The people shipping the stuff often seemed to have an attitude. The people who received the stuff almost always turned out to be jerks who tried to get out of paying the full amount that they had agreed to pay. And the shippers themselves were always in a thoroughly crappy mood. Roy Gabler, one of the most prominent of the shippers, was infamous for referring to almost everyone he met as being an idiot. Shipping Wars presents a portrait of America where everyone has a chip on their shoulder and absolutely no one ever bothers to say thank you. Since I hate the forced sentimentality of most reality shows, I’ve always appreciated the fact that literally everyone in Shipping Wars was just out for themselves.
The other fun thing about Shipping Wars was seeing some of the things that needed to be transported. One of my favorite episodes featured a wedding cake that was driven across country in an unrefrigerated trailer. Needless to say, the cake did not survive the trip. The previously mentioned Roy Gabler had an affinity for transporting weird things, like classic movie props and, in one episode, a water tower. Nothing fazed Roy. No matter what he was transporting, he was always equally annoyed.
Unfortunately, Roy died shortly before the start of what would be the show’s last season. Shipping Wars never recovered from the loss of Roy’s perpetually annoyed tone of voice and it was canceled in 2015. As I discovered last night, you can see reruns on FYI. Or maybe you can just go on uShip and ask if anyone’s willing to move a cursed house from Texas to Vermont.
That should get their attention!
(For the record, the above clip is a parody but it still perfectly captures the feeling of Shipping Wars.)
Previous Guilty Pleasures
Last night, the Late Night Movie Gang and I watched Zydereen of Neptune!
Never heard of Zydereen of Neptune? Well, don’t feel bad. It’s not really a movie. Instead, it’s three episodes of an old 1950s TV series that someone edited together. According to The Complete Directory to Prime Time Network TV Shows, Flash Gordon aired in 1954 on a now defunct network called DuMont. The eponymous space hero was played by Steve Holland, a clean-cut model with an impressive head of hair. On the show, Flash was a member of the GBI, which is like a galactic version of the FBI. Working with him was scientist and love interest Dale Arden (Irene Champlin) and scientist and non-love interest Dr. Zarkov (Joseph Nash). Flash was not a scientist but he had really nice hair. Did I mention that?
(Seriously, the Late Night Movie Gang estimated that Flash was 90% hair spray.)
Anyway, in three episodes, Flash and the GBI had to defeat the machinations of Zydereen (Marie Powers), an evil witch who lived on Neptune and who yearned to escape and take over the universe. She caused quite a bit of panic on Neptune, the majority of which, according to Wikipedia, was portrayed via stock footage of a 1953 anti-communist demonstration by citizens of East Berlin. Having been made in 1954, it’s not surprising that Flash’s struggle to keep the universe safe feels a lot like America’s effort to keep the world safe from communism.
I was fulling expecting to be dismissive of this low-budget television show-turned-movie but actually, I enjoyed it. From the threadbare production values to the grainy stock footage to the model rocket that crossed the screen whenever Flash was on a mission, there was an undeniable charm to the film’s low budget aesthetic. Steve Holland grew on me as well. At first, he seemed like a stiff but by the 30 minute mark of the film (or the second episode, if you will), Holland seemed a lot more comfortable with the role. If nothing else, he had really impressive hair. (Did I already mention that?)
Plus, Marie Powers was a good villain. Again, it helps to remember that she was playing a space witch on a low-budget TV series that was mainly aimed at children. As a result, neither she nor her schemes are particularly subtle but who cares? It was right for the show.
As I’ve said many times in the past, I’m a history nerd. And, if nothing else, Zydereen of Neptune was definitely a piece of history!
Want to watch it? Well, here it is:
Though I’m really hesitant to admit it and I’ll probably deny it if anyone asks me in the future, last night I watched the first episode of the new ABC “reality dating” show, The Proposal. How soul-searingly bad was The Proposal? It was so bad that I am now convinced that not only is our current world about to end but also whatever world comes along to replace it is probably doomed as well.
Why Was I Watching It?
Because I’m an idiot.
What Was It About?
If you’ve ever watched The Bachelor, you know that it’s pretty much a tradition for the women (and the men, in the case of The Bachelorette) to announce that they can see themselves marrying the Bachelor after only knowing him for three days. Of course, the audience at home always rolls their eyes when they say that. We know they’ve probably been pressured to say that by the show’s producers, just like we know that there’s little chance that anyone on the show’s actually going to end up getting married to anyone else on the show. It’s a fantasy and it’s kinda fun to get lost in it.
Well, The Proposal is basically The Bachelor on cheap steroids. Now, instead of taking a whole three days to fall in love, The Proposal suggests that it can be done in an hour! Woo hoo!
Here’s how last night’s show worked. A man named Mike was sitting in a pod, hidden from the view of the audience. Host Jesse Palmer assured us that Mike was a good guy and a police officer who deserved a good wife. We were also told that, as the result of getting hit by a drunk driver, Mike lost part of his right leg but he was still an athlete who loved to go on hikes. The message was clear: “If you think what’s happening is totally regressive and problematic, then you’re a terrible person who is saying that a one-legged first responder doesn’t deserve a chance at happiness.”
Ten heartbreakingly insecure women were brought out on stage. While wearing swimsuits, each one made a pitch to Mike (who, keep in mind, was hidden from view the whole time). Mike proceeded to cut five girls, all of whom were promptly ordered to get off the stage. Mike then asked the five remaining girls a question. Based on their answers, two girls were cut and three were left on stage.
From the beginning, it was obvious that the final three were going to be Jessica, Monica, and Kendal. Jessica and Monica were the most attractive while Kendal was the only one who had a real job. In fact, Kendal was a neuropsychologist who spoke movingly about how happy it made her to help stroke victims. Given Mike’s own stated to desire to want to inspire people and create something good from his accident, Kendal seemed like the perfect choice…
Until, Mike’s best friend, Andrew, asked some questions! Andrew wanted to know if the women were interested in having children. Kendal said that she didn’t want to have children. The audience gasped in horror and Kendal got this panicked look on her face. Oh my God, I’ve missed out on my chance to get proposed to by a man I’ve never seen before because I was honest about not wanting to have children!
Mike announced that the final two would be Monica and Jessica. Sorry, Kendal! I guess you should have lied until you got that ring!
Once Kendal was gone, the pod opened and Mike emerged. Everyone breathed a sign of relief as Mike turned out to be a generically handsome guy who basically looked like a cop. (He even sported the shaved head look that is oddly popular among police officers.) At this point, I was sure that Monica and Jessica would get a chance to ask a question but no. That’s not the way The Proposal works. The fact that Mike looked like he might be distantly related to Wentworth Miller was good enough. There was no need to know how he voted or if he was religious or if he drank or anything else. Instead, Moncia and Jessica were sent backstage to work on their final plea and change into a nicer outfit.
After a commercial break, both Jessica and Monica returned and made their final pleas but it didn’t really matter what they had to say. Mike was staring at Monica even while Jessica was talking. Mike announced that he had been smitten with Monica from the first time he saw her an hour ago. He got down on his one knee and proposed to her. She said yes. While Jessica silently headed backstage, Monica and Mike shared their first kiss.
“You’re a wonderful kisser,” she told her bald pod person, before adding, “Just wait until later!”
What Worked
Oh God.
Actually, let’s give credit where credit is due. The off-stage announcer was properly snarky as each women was introduced. The tone basically said, “Yeah, I can’t believe this is actually happening, either.”
Plus, I had a lot of fun live tweeting the event! My anxiety was acting up something awful all day yesterday but making fun of The Proposal on twitter helped me calm down.
What Did Not Work
Every single moment of this show was icky and regressive. Imagine The Bachelor without any of The Bachelor‘s goofy charm and you’ve got The Proposal.
“OH MY GOD! Just like me!” Moments
None. Absolutely none. Well, okay — I did relate to the women’s obvious terror when, at the beginning of the show, they were forced to walk down a steep staircase in high heels. I’m amazed that everyone made it down safely.
Lessons Learned
The world is doomed.
Also, I’ll apparently watch anything. What’s really sad is I know I’m probably going to watch next week’s episode, too.
Through the Shattered Lens 