Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.4 “Walk-Alone”

Posted on October 21, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, it’s a rare Tubbs episode!

Episode 3.4 “Walk-Alone”

(Dir by David Jackson, originally aired October 17th, 1986)

As Switek puts it, Tubbs has been walking on air for two weeks. He’s got a new girlfriend, a waitress at a hot Miami restaurant. Unfortunately, a shoot-out at that restaurant leaves her dead. Though Crockett thinks that Tubbs is still too close to the case to be trusted to investigate, Tubbs insists on being involved and Castillo agrees. (Castillo, at times, just seem to automatically do the opposite of whatever Crockett suggests.)

The shoot-out happened as a result of a drug deal that went down in the state prison. Using the name Cubero, Tubbs goes undercover as a recently transferred prisoner. He enters the prison as his usual cool and collected self. He’s promptly beaten up by the Aryan Nations. Fortunately, since this is a television show and not The Shawshank Redemption, beating him up is the only thing the Aryans do to Tubbs.

Tubbs is being targeted by all the prisoners, from the Aryans to the Muslims. But when words get out that he’s a big-time drug dealer, Commander Fox (Keven Conway) makes a deal with him. If Tubbs keeps Fox and his men supplied with drugs, Tubbs (or Cubero) will be kept safe.

Unfortunately, when Switek, Zito, and Trudy go the prison to see Tubbs, a prisoner recognizes them. Tubbs’s cover is blown. Crockett wants to go into the prison to save him but Castillo points out that everyone in the prison knows that Crockett is a cop. (Tubbs has been Crockett’s partner for three years now so why did Castillo assume no one in the prison would be able to make him?) Castillo goes into the prison to save Tubbs from both the guards and the prisoners. The episode ends with Castillo gunning down a few guards and saving Tubbs’s life. Way to go, Castillo! The main lesson here seems to be that Castillo would rather risk of his own life than depend on Crockett for anything.

This was …. well, this episode was okay. The plot was nothing special. For all the talk about how Florida’s state prison was the most dangerous place in the world, it actually came across as being a rather mild place. Tubbs got beaten up and he got threatened but he didn’t get shanked and or any of the other things that one tends to associate with prison. The prison guards were not the most intimidating or interesting villains to appear on Miami Vice, even though one of them is played by a young Laurence Fishburne.

(This episode all features a youngish Ron Perlman, playing a good guy who I kept expecting to turn out to be a bad guy because he was being played by Ron Perlman.)

In the end, this episode was a bit forgettable, though it did allow the often-underused Philip Michael Thomas a chance to have the spotlight for once. He does a good job, even if he doesn’t get to bust out his fake Caribbean accent.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi Junior High 3.13 “Making Whopee”

Posted on October 20, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi Junior High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1987 to 1989! The series can be streamed on YouTube!

This week, it’s an Arthur episode! …. really?

Episode 3.13 “Making Whopee”

(Dir by Eleanore Lindo, originally aired on February 27th, 1989)

With all of the season three drama surrounding Wheels, Shane, Spike, Joey, and Caitlin, it can be easy to forget that Degrassi Junior High started out as a show about a nerdy but well-meaning kid named Arthur trying to navigate his way through a brand new world. Indeed, almost the entire first season revolved around Arthur and his friend, Yick. By the time the third season rolled around, neither character was particularly prominent in the show’s ensemble. I think one reason why Arthur and Yick went from being the main characters just being in the background is because their storylines never presented as much potential for excitement as the stuff going on with everyone else. While Spike dealt with being a mother at 14 and Caitlin dealt with epilepsy and Wheels struggled with depression, Arthur and Yick were just average kids with average kid problems.

That’s why its a little bit jarring — after all of last week’s drama — to suddenly be presented with an Arthur episode. In this episode, Arthur struggles to accept the fact that his dad has a girlfriend and that he would rather hang out with her than watch Space Cadets with his son. When Arthur wakes up one morning to discover that his father’s new girlfriend has slept over, Arthur is stunned. Later, when Arthur’s Dad comes to the Degrassi open house with his girlfriend, Arthur loses it and says that he’s sick of her coming between him and his father. The end result is that Arthur’s father ends up single and depressed. Arthur begs his Dad to watch television with him. Arthur’s Dad sobs on the couch.

Damn, what a sad ending! Of course, sad endings are a bit of a Degrassi trademark. I’ve lost track of how many episodes of this show ended with someone in tears.

As for the B-plots, Luke continues to feel guilty over giving Shane that hit of LSD and the fact that everyone in school blames him for Shane’s accident certainly doesn’t help matters. (Shane, for his part, is still in a coma.) Meanwhile, Melanie finds herself competing for Snake’s attention with a snooty ninth-grader named Allison (Sara Holmes). Melanie has nothing to worry about. Allison may be older but Melanie is still the one who Snake asks to the graduation dance. In fact, not only does Melanie get a date but she also gets her best friend back. Kathleen forgives Melanie for reading her diary and also announces that she is now in therapy for her eating disorder!

Yay! A happy ending for some….

And a totally tragic ending for others!

That’s Degrassi for you.

As for this episode, I’m a child of divorce so I could relate to a certain extent to what Arthur was going through. I always hated it whenever my Mom dated anyone new and I will admit that I could be a bit of a brat about it. That said, I never reduced her to crying on the couch. I mean …. seriously, Arthur, what the Hell? I preferred Melanie’s story because it had a happy ending and it was another storyline to which I could relate. Talking to your crush and not realizing you have lipstick on your teeth? Hey, we’ve all been there!

Horror On TV: One Step Beyond 3.5 “If You See Sally” (dir by John Newland)

Posted on October 20, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

On tonight’s epiosde of One Step Beyond, we visit the legend of the ghostly hitchhiker.

Will Sally ever make it home?

This episode originally aired on October 18th, 1960!

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life on Street 1.3 “Night of the Dead Living”

Posted on October 20, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC! It can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, the Homicide Squad works the night shift on the hottest night of the year.

Episode 1.3 “Night of the Dead Living”

(Dir by Michael Lehmann, originally aired on March 31st, 1993)

On the hottest night of the year, Giardello’s homicide squad works the night shift. Everyone comes in grumpy. Munch has just broken up with his girlfriend. Bolander is trying to work up the courage to call Dr. Blythe. Bayliss is still obsessing on the Adeena Watson case and he and Pembleton are still trying to figure out how to work together. Kay’s sister is having trouble at home. Felton’s wife hates him. Crosetti worries about his teenage daughter and her boyfriend. Giardello tries to figure out why the air conditioner is only blowing out hot air on what Lewis claims is the hottest night in history.

Despite the heat and the statistics that show that most homicide occur at night, no calls come in. Bayliss is convinced he’s cracked the Watson case when he discovers that the fingerprints on Adeena’s library book belongs to someone named James. He sends Thorson out to arrest James. James turns out to be a seventh grader who thinks he’s being arrested by not paying a library fine. (James did check out the book, when he was in the fifth grade.)

A drunk man dressed as Santa Claus is brought in and later falls through the ceiling when he attempts to escape custody. A baby is found in the station’s basement but it turns out to the cleaning lady’s baby. She brings him to work with her to protect him from the rats that live in their apartment building. Eventually, Bolander works up the courage to call Blythe and Bayliss and Pembleton figure out that Adeena’s body was found where it was because her killer brought the body down a fire escape. At the end of the shift, Giardello assembles his detectives on the roof and joyfully sprays them with the water hose.

It’s an episode that feels like a play, taking place in one location and featuring a lot of monologuing. Each member of the squad gets a their chance in the spotlight, with the episode revealing that every one of them is a bit more complex than they initially seem. Even Munch, the misanthrope, is shown to light a candle in memory of “all those who have been killed.” It’s one of those episodes that makes you understand why Homicide is considered to be classic while also showing you why it struggled in the ratings. In this episode, Homicide revealed itself to be not a cop show but instead a show about people who happened to be cops. Most shows about detectives end with an arrest. This episode ends with Giardello showing his love for the people who work for him. After spending an hour with everyone sweating and complaining, it’s nice to see them happy on the roof of the station house. Yaphet Kotto’s joy in the final scene is a wonder to behold. And yet, it’s easy to imagine how confused audiences, whose expectations had been set by more traditional crime show, would have been.

This episode was meant to be the third episode of the series. NBC decided that it worked better as the finale of the first season and instead made it the ninth episode. Peacock has this episode placed where it originally belonged and, with this review, that’s what I’m going with as well.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out! 2.16 “The Oddest Couple”

Posted on October 19, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Viker needs help!

Episode 2.16 “The Oddest Couple”

(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on February 8th, 1987)

Viker has been kicked out by his wife, Mrs. Viker (Laura Henry). Mrs. Viker apparently doesn’t have a first name. Even Viker calls her “Mrs. Viker” whenever he talks to her. Because he has been kicked out of his house, Viker has started sleeping on Howard’s couch.

Howard tells Viker that he can’t sleep on his couch, which just leaves Viker with one other option. He moves in with Howard! Normally, I’d wonder how Edna would feel about this but Edna is not in this episode. In fact, there’s no mention of Howard being involved and his apartment suddenly looks like a tacky bachelor pad. He even has a round bed in the living room.

As you can guess by the episode’s title, Howard and Viker make for an odd couple. It’s not a case of one of them being a neat freak and one of them being a slob. In fact, they’re both pretty neat. It’s just that Viker can be a little weird. He gargles extremely loudly. He takes everything that he hears literally. He spends a lot of time talking about his bunions.

Howard attempts to bring Viker and Mrs. Viker together but, when Mrs. Viker catches Viker teaching Marlene how to dance (more about that in a minute) in the store’s aisles, she declares that she can’t trust Viker. But then Howard invites Mrs. Viker to his apartment, where he has prepared a romantic dinner for the Vikers. That’s all it takes for the Vikers to fall back in love and apparently have sex in Howard’s living room bed while Howard waits in the hallway outside.

Why is Viker teaching Marlene how to dance? Because a good-looking customer named Philip (Richard Hardacre) has asked Marlene to come to his country club! Marlene gets all dressed up, does her hair nicely, and looks forward to her date. But then Richard shows up looking like he’s the bassist in Sex Pistols cover band. Richard says that it’s “punk night” at the country club and he wanted to impress his friends by bringing “an actual punk.” Realizing that she was being used, Marlene tells Richard to get lost and then she, Murray, and Christian go out for pizza. Awww! Since this show usually features those three characters at odds, it’s kind of nice to see them all going out as friends in this episode.

(In real life, Kathleen Laskey, who plays Marlene, is married to Jeff Pustil, who played Christian. Even though their characters are usually rivals, the chemistry between the two performers is obvious.)

This was an okay episode. It made me chuckle a few times. It’s obvious that, after the first half of the second season, the showrunners realized that Don Adams and Gordon Clapp made a great comic team. Check It Out is a show that works best when it embraces absurdity and few characters are more absurd than Gordon Clapp’s Viker.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 10/13/24 — 10/19/24

Posted on October 19, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I watched a lot of horror movies this week but I didn’t watch much television. Starting on November 1st, I’m going to have a lot of shows to get caught up on.

I caught the latest installment of American Sports Story: Aaron Hernandez. Like a lot of Ryan Murphy’s recent miniseries, American Sports Story started out strong but the last few episodes have felt like padding. It’s not that the episodes aren’t contributing to the story. This week, we watched as Aaron committed what was apparently his first murder and as he started to show signs of CTE. But it’s still hard not to feel as if each episode is basically 20 minutes worth of story stretched out to 50 minutes. We’re halfway through this series and it has yet to really give us a reason why we should care about Aaron Hernandez. He just comes across as being an idiot, regardless of his athletic skills, his terrible childhood, or his status as a self-hating gay man trying to survive in a homophobic culture. He doesn’t seem to be worth all of this trouble.

I watched Hell’s Kitchen. The chefs continue to compete at a high level and they continue to have disastrous dinner services. Hell’s Kitchen is one of the few reality shows not to have massively changed its format over the past four years. The producers know there’s no need to fix something that’s already working. If only the producers of Big Brother and Survivor understood that!

I watched an old episode of Night Flight on Friday. It featured Elvis snarling at the camera.

I watched the episode of Dr. Phil in which Phil and cult expert Rick Ross confronted a guy who said he wasn’t a cult leader despite the fact that he clearly was. There’s a lot negative things that can be said about Dr. Phil’s show but the episodes where he exposed cults and their leaders were always entertaining and worth watching.

I watched and reviewed Homicide, Miami Vice, and The Love Boat! I also watched and shared several episodes of One Step Beyond.

And that’s it!

Horror on TV: One Step Beyond 3.3 “The Death Waltz” (dir by John Newland)

Posted on October 19, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight’s episode of One Step Beyond is called The Death Waltz. It’s about what happens when, in 1860, two calvary officers fall in love with the same young woman, Lillie (Elizabeth Montgomery). Lillie has a great time playing the two men against each other but, when one of them is killed by Apaches, she rather heartlessly goes to a dance with the surviving suitor.

Unfortunately, for her, the dead man’s ghost decides to go to the dance as well….

The episode originally aired on October 4th, 1960.

Enjoy!

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 4.4 “Once Upon A Ledge”

Posted on October 19, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC from 1975 to 1979. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Arnold Horshack gets to be a hero!

Episode 4.4 “Once Upon A Ledge”

(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on October 2nd, 1978)

Seriously, what is going on at Buchanan High?

Gabe is vice principal but he’s away at a teacher’s conference. Horshack and Washington are once again running the student store. Epstien is once again working for the audio visual department. Barbarino is nowhere to be seen. This new Sweathog, Beau, is apparently the most popular guy in school, even though this is only his second episode. Perhaps the strangest development is that Julie is now working as Mr. Woodman’s administrative assistant. When did this happen? I can’t even remember what Julie’s previous profession was but I don’t think it had anything to do with education in general or Buchanan High in specific.

Mary Johnson (Irene Arranga) is a shy student who feels that she doesn’t have any sort of identity in the school. She’s one of three Mary Johnsons at Buchanan High. She’s not Mary Johnson the Jock. She’s not Mary Johnson the Cheerleader. She’s Mary Johnson, the one with the perfect teeth. When she tells Woodman that she wants to transfer into the remedial classes so that she can be a Sweathog, Woodman tells her that her C-average makes her ineligible. She can’t even succeed at being a bad student.

Feeling lost, Mary climbs out on a ledge and threatens to jump. Woodman, Julie, and each of the Sweathogs tries to talk her in but it’s only Horshack who is able to get through to her. Horshack actually walks out onto the ledge himself so that he can talk to Mary about what’s it’s like to feel like an outsider. Horshack gets Mary to come in, though he nearly falls off the ledge himself.

While binging and reviewing this show, it’s occasionally been easy to criticize Ron Pallilo’s performance as Arnold Horshack, though I think the real culprits were the show’s writers, who tended to make Horshack into such a strange character that I don’t think anyone could play him without being annoying. But, to give credit where credit is due, Pallilo gives a really good performance in this episode. Indeed, in some ways, this episode feels like a throw back to season one, when the Sweathogs still had a bit of grit and angst to them.

This was a simple but effective episode, even if the absences of both Gabe Kaplan and John Travolta were definitely felt. (Nothing against Stephen Shortridge — who I’ve seen give good performances on The Love Boat and Fantasy island — but Beau was no substitute for Vinnie Barbarino.) Still, it was nice to see Pallilo get a chance to once again play Horshack as a human being as opposed to a walking punchline. And, for once, Woodman got to show his nice side, as he tried to help Mary feel better about her place in the school. This was a surprisingly well-done episode.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 2.14 “Face of Evil”

Posted on October 18, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

It’s sequel time!

Episode 2.14 “Face of Evil”

(Dir by William Fruet, originally aired on February 6th, 1989)

In this sequel to the first season episode Vanity’s Mirror, Joanne Mackey (Gwendoline Pacey) returns to Curious Goods for the first time since the death of her younger sister, Helen. Joanne reveals that she’s the one who stole the cursed gold compact at the end of Vanity’s Mirror, explaining that she simply had to have something that belonged to her sister. Jack is not amused, telling her that she should have turned it over so that it could be stored in the vault.

Calm down, Jack. Joanne knows she did something wrong and she’s trying to make amends. She is especially concerned because the compact is now in the hands of an aging supermodel named Tabitha Robbins (Laura Robinson). Tabitha is upset that her career is struggling and she’s been told that not even plastic surgery can reverse the fact that she’s just not as young as her competition. Tabitha has figured out that anyone whose face is caught in the reflection of the mirror will either die or, at the very least, suffer a terrible disfigurement. Apparently, in this case, the antique’s curse changes depending on who owns it.

I have mixed feelings about this episode. On the one hand, I could relate to Tabitha’s feelings about aging. No one wants to age and that’s doubly true when you’re working in an industry where youth is the most valuable commodity. I also enjoyed the very 80s fashion shoots that were featured in this episode. On the other hand, there were a lot of rather silly scenes of Tabitha trying to catch Ryan and Micki’s reflection in the mirror while Mick and Ryan ducked around with their hands over their faces. There’s no other way to put it other than to say it all looked really goofy.

The biggest problem with this episode is that the majority of it was taken up with clips from Vanity’s Mirror. Every few minutes, Joanne would think about Helen and we would get a flashback. Unfortunately, a lot of the flashbacks didn’t even feature Joanne so you have to wonder how exactly she was able to remember them. The constant flashbacks made this episode feel like a clip show and you know how much I hate those.

In the end, Tabitha accidentally catches her own face in the mirror’s reflection and she immediately starts aging. I guess that’s the risk you take when you try to use a mirror as a weapon. Micki and Ryan finally retrieve the compact and Jack mentions that Joanne could have saved a lot of lives by not stealing the compact in the first place. Look, Jack — she feels bad enough already! I’m sorry everyone isn’t beating down the doors of the antique shop to give you their cursed items. Get off Joanne’s back!

Oh well. At least the evil compact will hurt no one else….