Tag Archives: short film

The Book Chose Him, AI Short Film Review by Case Wright

Posted on by casewright

Happy Halloween! This is the end to an awesome horrorthon! I will have some more posts today. I will try to find at least one good thing to review for Halloween. It’s not easy and will likely NOT be done by AI because they’re terrible.

The Book Chose Him answers the question: What if Harry Potter sucked and was ninety seconds long?

The film opens with a realistic teenager in a library and magical glowing book starts to open in front of him. I suppose this is the whole “choosing him thing.” Why though? Why stick around to look at a radioactive book? Then, the main character becomes a cartoon, but race swaps from Indian teenager to a eight year old white kid. Why couldn’t he have been Indian the time? It’s confusing and unnecessary.

The protagonist is walking around a fancy library library with glowing candles that are an obvious fire hazard and he switches nationalities 6 more times from white to Indian and back again. It’s super weird. Was there another kid in the library? The protagonist goes to another world where gravity is just not “in” anymore. This is just horrible in every way. This creator should go to the sharks!
This is the worst. Don’t even bother.

Cave, AI Short Film Review by Case Wright

Posted on by casewright

The intro looks terrible. It’s bad even for anything I have seen up to this point. We open with a meteor heading towards earth.

A bear watches the impact and goes to investigate because why not? The meteor was hiding a spaceship. Later, there is a cute couple taking a selfie during their camping trip. I wonder what will happen?

They enter a cave and hear growling. They are confronted by a MONSTER BEAR. A huge huge bear. I’m guessing the bear is part alien now. The monster bear attacks and kills the husband, but the wife escapes and has PTSD hallucinations.

The ending was not great. I would have ended in the cave rather than tack on this boring segment. So, when the angry mobs come to feed the AI creators to sharks, I would just let the sharks gnaw on this creator, but nothing terrible. It was bad though; so, know that and if the creator reads this, please stop doing this.

Alone in the Bathroom, AI Short Film Review by Case Wright

Posted on by casewright

No title card; so, I used this as the title card. *sigh*
This AI short gave me a little jump. It did have some suspense; so, I won’t feed the creator to the sharks. Sorry Sharks.

Woman alone brushing her teeth, but there is a malevolent force in there with her. The bathroom is by definition private and you’re almost always vulnerable. The film has some suspense and payoff.
It is worth watching.

Trepidation, AI Short Film Review by Case Wright

Posted on by casewright

Wow, only 6 days left! I can’t believe it, until I need to review another horrible AI short. Why am I reviewing these universally terrible films? It’s the new thing and someone needed to catalog the beginning. Of course, it had to be me; yes, I am martyring myself, but come on… you don’t want to have to watching this waste of a perfectly good two minutes of your life.

Here we go…there’s a lot of hotties with cleavage in a museum and a number of priests. I’m not sure what’s going on, but there is cleavage; so, you can ignore the terrible film that way. A strange cleavage-showing lady asks odd museum goers to look at a painting and imagine God. I would say, “Lady, I already paid to get in here can you just get out of the way of the exhibits?! Do you even work here?! Where did you get that desk/podium?! Security!!! Security!!!” Sadly, no one made this choice to call security and the film continued.

It turns out it’s a Spirit Halloween skull face that giggles, even though it does not have an obvious respiratory system. This was really dumb. I wonder if when AI gets smart, it will tell these “creators” – “you’re really bad at this….just stop and do something else.”

Gelien, Short Film Review, by Case Wright

Posted on by casewright

Yes, this is their online poster. Yes, there is no title. Yes, the robot apocalypse will be boring.
I don’t know what jobs AI is going to take away, but it will definitely bore us more quickly. Do we really need to make the Alex Magana’s of the world make more film gonorrhea? What would the penicillin be for an Alex Magana film?

However, Alex Magana did not make this steaming pile of jelly garbage, it was Dark Dabs Horror. The world gets attacked by an extraterrestrial jellyfish that covers the earth in goo and kills everything. Why? Who knows? Is it gross? Not really. Nobody dissolves; instead, they all look like they took a swim in jell-o. I wouldn’t call it horror as much as I would call it unintentionally kinda fun in a very sad way. The future is boring.

The Killer, Short Film Review by Case Wright

Posted on by casewright

Once again, I have been thwarted from putting a title card from IMDB in my post. In this case, I think they are kind of shy. I was not even able to provide a link.
It’s called The Killer and it was created by OTP_tv.

The premise is what if a killer really needs to go to the bathroom after the murder? Funny things happen – that’s what! I would almost describe this short as pure comedy, until the end. I was the first person to watch the short because it dropped today and I coincidentally was around at the time. The short is simple and does not try to be too many things, but it does achieve humor and that’s a good thing.

The short begins with a couple bantering about wine and poo….as you do. Then, it appears the wife is bothered by the joke. The husband is stabbed in the bathroom and hilarity ensues. This is a fun short and does not take itself too seriously. If you have 3 or 4 minutes to spare, let it be The Killer.

I reached out to the creators on YouTube and if they get back to me, I will update the review with additional details.

Watch Your Back (AI Short Film), Review by Case Wright

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What film would Alex Magana make if he were a robot? This is a question that no one wanted answered, but Elevate Studios said, TOUGH, you are gettin it! And get it we did!

Many worry that AI will take over the world and our jobs; well, I’m here to tell you that you are 50% correct! AI will likely take your job, but not the world because it’ll just be too busy making boring/terrible short films.
Hey Robots, look I get that you feel like you got a full head of steam here, but why make terrible movies? We have people for that and those are jobs that are too good for you.
This short is about a priest called into perform and exorcism and he proceeds to punch the possessed woman and the demon leaves her. Yes, that was the whole film. I feel less now that I have seen this.

I put together a short myself using AI to show what it will be like when AI displaces humans:

Will the Robot unalive us all? I don’t know, but they will sure try to bore us to death!

A Blast From The Past: Cindy Goes To A Party (dir by Herk Harvey)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

In the 1955 short film, Cindy Goes To A Party, Cindy is upset because she hasn’t received an invitation to a party.  Even her dumbass friend Dennis has been invited!  Cindy’s mom assures Cindy that her invitation has probably just gotten lost in the mail.  Consumed by ennui, Cindy goes to bed at 2 in the afternoon.

Cindy is visited by her fairy godmother who, with the help of her magic wand, transports Cindy to the party and then gives Cindy and Dennis a long list of rules to obey.  For those of you who don’t have 9 minutes to watch this film and discover the rules for yourself, here they are:

  1. Be Clean and Neat
  2. Arrive on Time
  3. Leave on Time
  4. Join In The Games (even if the games are totally lame)
  5. Don’t Be Noisy and Rough
  6. Don’t Break Things
  7. Don’t Tease or Make Fun of Others (even if Dennis kind of deserves it)
  8. Obey the Rules of the Game
  9. Be a Good Loser (this rule is specifically given to Dennis because it’s obvious Dennis will never have to worry about being a winner)
  10. Be Considerate
  11. Be A Good Winner (something that Dennis will never have to worry about)
  12. Be Polite
  13. Be Considerate of other (wait a minute, we just did that one)
  14. Remember Your Table Manners
  15. Leave On Time (again, we already did that one)
  16. Thank Your Hostess

That’s a lot of rules!  I think Cindy would have more fun just staying home.

This short film was one of the many educational films directed by Herk Harvey.  Today, of course, Harvey is best known for directing the horror classic, Carnival of Souls.

“Purr-Normal” Dir.: Noah Randle, Short Film Review, by Case Wright

Posted on by casewright

Happy Horrorthon! This could be a rough start. I would normally be really rough with a short like this, BUT he’s got <500 subs and he’s definitely young. So, I’m gonna play nice.

Noah hear me, I get that you have a love for film, especially weird esoteric film. Here is your MAIN PROBLEM: there is no real story here that is identifiable outside of your own description. A short film needs a beginning, middle, and an end. What makes short-films a special artform is that they create: story, character, and suspense in an instant. They can make you laugh, jump, or cry- if they are done with intentional care.
Other than the make up, there is no character here. It is unclear the lady’s motivation, fear, hope, or even psychosis. The cat is a stranger in the film and it just gets gory for its own sake at the end. I hope you cleaned up after filming and thanked your amazingly patient and lovely parents for letting you do this.

There is NO STORY here. You need a story. You need character. You need for us to care about your protagonist or this is just you messing around with a camera. It is good to have an interest in film, but it’s like you’re trying to fly an airplane before you’ve learned how to walk. Come up with a SIMPLE STORY and get it right; then, go all weird, but even then, you still need a story and character or NO ONE will care about your characters or what happens. I am not doing a plot summary for this because there isn’t one.

I don’t want to be too hard on Noah here, but he’s missing the point of this art. There’s short films on YouTube that are barely a minute long that establish: Story, Character, and Stakes. This is not that, but Noah MIGHT be able to get there if he tries again and starts EXTREMELY small and tells a small story well.

The Gift, Dir. Brian E-RAD Simmons, Review by Case Wright

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This is the Horrorthon short that I am used to seeing: a true James Nguyen level of garbage. There was nothing on IMDB to give me a title card; so, I went with this cute Crab-Dog. One note about this film is the outrageous number of easter eggs referring to people no one has ever heard of. It’s like giving yourself a nickname. I don’t understand. It’s also just a terrible short and what makes it worse is that it purports to be a comedy- WHY?

There’s a woman who gets home from a bad date and the date is presumably stalking her or might be Michael Myers from the Halloween films- I really can’t tell. I hope John Carpenter does a Cease and Desist order. She tries to block the creep and he shows up at her house and stabs her- laugh riot…it’s like some people want me to feel pain. Maybe I deserve the pain? Maybe they know that if they make this horribleness that I’ll have to watch it and reflect upon my failed existence?

If you want to punish yourself and the pain of 7 minutes feeling like 7000, this is for you! Maybe Pinhead made this film and I’m in a Hell Dimension in the Houston Suburbs?

This is the 7 minutes and change of my discontent.