Horror Film Review: Alligator (dir by Lewis Teague)


1980’s Alligator begins in 1968.  While on vacation in Florida, a teenage girl named Marisa Kendall purchases a baby alligator named Ramon.  When she returns home to Chicago, her jerk of a father flushes Ramon down the toilet.

12 years pass.  Marisa (Robin Riker) becomes a herpetologist.  As for Ramon, he actually survives being flushed down the toilet and thrives in the sewer.  He eats the carcasses of animals that had been a part of an experiment involving a growth serum.  The serum had the desired effect of making the animals bigger but it also increased their metabolism to the extent that they became aggressive and had to eat constantly.  Evil industrialist Slade (Dean Jagger) is convinced that, by tossing the carcasses in the sewer, he’s ensured that no one will ever find out about the experiments.  Instead, he’s turned Ramon into a giant alligator who is always hungry.  Soon, the super-intelligent alligator is ambushing and eating sewer workers.

Burned-out Detective Dave Madison (Robert Forster) teams up with Marisa to solve the mystery of why so many body parts are turning up in the sewers.  It’s not easy.  No one wants to admit that there might be a giant alligator living under the city.  Everyone wants to believe that’s just an urban legend.  But, after a tabloid reporter (Bart Braverman) manages to snap a few photographs of Ramon before being devoured, the police are forced to deal with the fact that they’ve got an alligator on their hands.  As Slade continues to try to cover up his involvement, big game hunter Colonel Brock (Henry Silva) comes to town and announces that he will be capturing the alligator.

Directed by Lewis Teague and written by John Sayles, Alligator is a dark comedy disguised as a horror film.  While numerous people get eaten and the film ends on a properly ominous note, Alligator is obviously not meant to be taken seriously.  The cast is full of good actors who send up their own images.  That’s especially true in the case of Henry Silva, who appears to be having a blast as the hyper macho Colonel Brock.  Robert Forster, meanwhile, delivers his lines with a self-aware weariness that seems a bit more appropriate for a noir hero than a film about a detective investigating a giant alligator.  One reason why the film works is because Forster, Silva, and the rest of the cast understood exactly what type of film they were appearing in and they delivered their overheated lines with just enough wit to let the viewer know that the film was in on the joke.  The big and somewhat stiff-looking alligator may not look entirely real and it may move somewhat awkwardly but ultimately, it’s the most likable character in the movie.  It just wants to relax in the sewers but, every few minutes, someone else is bugging him.

When first released, Alligator struggled at the box office but it has since gone on to become a cult favorite.  Quentin Tarantino is a self-described fan and he had said he was inspired to cast Robert Forster as Max Cherry in Jackie Brown after seeing him as Dave Madison in this film.  That’s not bad for a movie about a giant alligator!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.1 and 2.2 “A Song For Jason”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!

This week, Highway to Heaven begins its second season with a two-part episode.

Episodes 2.1 and 2.2 “A Song For Jason”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on September 18th and September 25th, 1985)

Well, this is certainly a tear jerker.

The two-part second season opener of Highway to Heaven finds Jonathan and Mark assigned to work at Camp Good Times, an actual summer camp for children who have cancer.  And while Jonathan is, as usual, enthusiastic about the assignment, Mark responds by begging to be allowed to sit this one out.  Jonathan’s response is to tell Mark to stop feeling sorry for himself and to help the kids.  Mark starts to walk away from his friendship with Jonathan until he runs into one of the kids, Jason (Joshua John Miller, whose best-known work as an actor might be as the scary child vampire in Near Dark).  Jason basically repeats the same thing that Jonathan said, telling Mark that he needs to stop feeling sorry for himself.  Mark realizes that if a kid like Jason can be brave in the face of cancer then the least Mark can do is spend a summer as a camp counselor.

(Adding a bit of poignance to all this is that both Victor French and Michael Landon would die of cancer five years after this episode aired.)

Jason is the son of rock star Miki Winner (Barry Williams — yes, Greg Brady).  Miki is always finding excuse not to spend any time with his sick son.  Maybe Jonathan can change his mind.

But that’s not all!

Curtis (played by a ten year-old Giovanni Ribisi in his acting debut) is scared to death to go outside, a result of his overprotective mother (Robin Riker) constantly harping on the fact that he could die at any minute.  Can Jonathan help Curtis have fun while encouraging his mom to let Curtis be a kid?

Teenage jock Gary (Brian Lane Green) has bone cancer and might lose his leg.  Can he got over his bitterness and get a date with camp counselor Trish (Jill Carroll)?

And will Mark finally realize that there is hope to be found in even the most dire of situations?

(The answer to all of that is yes but you probably already guessed that.)

Even by the standards of Highway to Heaven, this episode was a bit heavy-handed, without a subtle moment to be found.  Barry Williams is as unconvincing a rock star here as he was on The Brady Bunch Variety Hour.  Some of the kids were better actors than others.  It’s also hard not to feel that the story could have been told in just one episode.  The first part, especially, feels a bit padded.  That said, it all still brought tears to my mismatched eyes because, seriously, how couldn’t it?  This is one of those episodes where the show’s earnestness and sincerity really worked to its advantage.  The episode is so heartfelt that it feels rather churlish to be too nit-picky about it.  In the end, flaws and all, the episode works.

Add to that, if you can’t enjoy the scene where Jonathan disguises himself as a barber and shaves a bully’s head, I don’t know what to tell you.

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 3.11 “The Mermaid/The Victim”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  Almost entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube!

Smiles!

Episode 3.11 “The Mermaid/The Victim”

(Dir by Earl Bellamy, originally aired on December 1st, 1979)

This week, Fantasy Island suddenly becomes the most dangerous place on Earth.

Julie Bett (Joan Prather) comes to the island with a simple fantasy.  She wants a date — just one date — with a man that she met briefly four years ago.  Mr. Roarke asks Julie if perhaps she has overidealized her memories of Michael Duvall (James Darren).  Julie says no and that Michael is the ideal man.  Roarke reveals that Duvall lives on a nearby island where Roarke has no legal authority.  Julie says that fine, since the date will be on Fantasy Island.  Roarke reveals that Duvall is usually not allowed to step foot on Fantasy Island because of his shady reputation.  Julie replies that there’s nothing shady about Michael Duvall.  Roarke finally allows Duvall to come to Fantasy Island for the date.

Of course, within minutes of arriving, Duvall has drugged Julie’s drink and then whisked her back to his own island.  It turns out that Michael Duvall is a Jeffrey Epstein-style human trafficker and his estate doubles as a prison for the women that he had abducted.  His evil assistant, Madame Jeannot (Yvonne DeCarlo), announces that there is no way that Julie can escape and, to prove her point, she introduces Julie to Annie (Cathryn O’Neil), who tried to escape and was severely beaten as a result.

Julie tries to rally the other prisoners (including Dorothy Stratten, who would be murdered 8 months after this episode aired) to fight back against Duvall, Jeannot, and their servant.  If her rebellion fails, Julie knows that she’ll never be seen again….

Meanwhile, oceanographer Harold DeHaven (John Saxon) has come to Fantasy Island with his wife, Amanda (Mary Ann Mobley).  Harold and Amanda have a troubled marriage, largely because Harold is too obsessed with his work and his desire to make a major discovery of some sort.  No sooner has Harold started walking along the beach then he comes across a mermaid!  Princess Nyah (Michelle Phillips) is apparently a well-known figure on Fantasy Island and, at one point, Roarke even confronts Nyah about her history of trying to lure the guests to their deaths.  Can Amanda prevent her husband from drowning in his attempt to be with Princess Nyah?

(This episodes leaves us to wonder just what exactly Fantasy Island’s legal liability would be if someone died as a result of their fantasy.  Seriously, it seems like Mr. Roarke has really left himself vulnerable to a lawsuit.)

Anyway, Julie and the other kidnapped women manage to escape from Duvall’s estate, just to find Mr. Roarke and a bunch of policemen waiting for them.  Roarke explains that he knew what Duvall was doing but he needed proof before he could contact that authorities.  Julie provided the proof.  Essentially, Roarke is saying that he put Julie’s life at risk to take down Duvall but Julie and the other women seem to be amused by the whole thing.  Everyone smiles as Mr. Roarke says that he’ll take them back to Fantasy Island.  I guess PTSD doesn’t exist on the islands.

Meanwhile, Amanda’s efforts to keep Harold from swimming off with Nyah nearly leads to Amanda drowning.  Seeing his wife risk her life for him, Harold realizes that he really does love Amanda and both he and Amanda return to dry land.  Disappointed, Nyah swims off.

Yay!  Everyone lived!  As they all left the Island, no one seemed to be the least bit traumatized by nearly dying.  At the plane flies away, Roarke suggest that Nyah’s new target might be Tattoo.  “Be serious, boss,” Tattoo, “I can’t even swim.”  The thought of his assistant dying a terrible death from drowning cause Roarke to laugh out loud as the end credits roll.

There was a weird episode and compulsively watchable as a result.  Seriously, how do you not love John Saxon following Michelle Phillips into water?  That said, Fantasy Island seems like a very dangerous place.

A Movie A Day #47: Body Chemistry II: Voice of a Stranger (1992, directed by Adam Simon)


body-chemistry-ii-the-voice-of-a-stranger-movie-poster-1992-1020211070Dr. Claire Archer is back!

Having gotten away with murder at the end of the first Body Chemistry, Claire (played again by Lisa Pescia) is now working as a radio psychologist, taking the 9 pm to 1 am slot at a station managed by a sleazy chain smoker named Big Chuck (played by real-life sleazy chain smoker Morton Downey, Jr.).  Claire invites her listeners to call with their deepest desires.  “Without pain, you’re not truly alive.”

One night, “John” calls.  When Claire looks at the list of callers and sees, “John likes rough sex,” she immediately put him on the air.  John is actually Dan (Gregory Harrison).  Dan is dating Claire’s call screener, Brenda (Robin Riker), who cannot recognize her own boyfriend’s voice over the telephone.  Dan is a former high school football star who left town and became a cop in Los Angeles.  When his violent impulses became impossible to control, Dan was kicked off the force and he returned home.  Dan wants to suppress his dark side but Claire has other ideas.

Body Chemistry II is a marginal improvement over the first Body Chemistry, because Dan is a more sympathetic victim character than Marc Singer was in the first film and Body Chemistry II puts Lisa Pescia’s vampy performance front and center.  Though both films tell the same basic story, Body Chemistry II is stylistically a very different film.  Body Chemistry II takes it cue from film noir, which means a lot of dark rooms with Venetian blinds.  Dan’s flashbacks and nightmares also add some surreal moments to Body Chemistry II, distinguishing it from the more straight forward first film.

Though there would be two more Body Chemistry sequels, this would be the last time that Lisa Pescia would play Dr. Archer.  Keep an eye out for Clint Howard, Jeremy Piven, and director John Landis, all of whom show up in small roles.

For tomorrow’s movie a day, Shari Shattuck takes over the role of Claire Archer in Body Chemistry III: Point of Seduction.

 

Embracing the Melodrama Part II #91: A Reason to Believe (dir by Douglas Triola)


A Reason to BelieveThroughout the late 90s, a rather obscure film from 1995 called A Reason To Believe used to show up on Cinemax fairly frequently. I was 11 when I first saw it.  At the time, I was indulging in my rebellious streak by secretly staying up past my bed time and sneaking into the living room, where I would watch whatever forbidden sordidness what being aired.  Because I didn’t want to wake anyone up, I would watch with the volume turned almost all the way down.  Hence, when I first saw A Reason To Believe, I literally had to sit less than an inch away from the TV just so I could hear the dialogue.

And I remember that, at the age of 11, A Reason To Believe really blew me away.  I thought it was one of the greatest films that I had ever seen.  The fact that the film involved college students made me feel like I was both watching a movie for adults and getting a preview of what life would be like when I was older.  All of the sex and the language made me feel like I was getting away with something while I was watching it.  At one point, there was a shot of Sharon (played by Holly Marie Combs) putting a condom on Wesley’s (Danny Quinn) erect penis and I found myself glancing over my shoulder, convinced that at any minute a responsible adult was going to enter the living room and say, “WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING!?”

So, when I recently rewatched A Reason To Believe, I did so wondering how the film would hold up now that I’m an adult.  Not surprisingly, a good deal of the film now seemed to be heavy-handed.  For every good line in the script, there was a line that was way too obvious.  Characters who were funny when I was 11 — like dorky stoner Potto (Keith Coogan) — now seemed to be annoying.  And, of course, my more experienced eyes immediately realized that Holly Marie Combs was putting that condom on a prosthetic penis.

And yet, A Reason To Believe is still fairly effective and probably deserves to be better known than it actually is.  Usually, I refuse to give extra credit for good intentions but I’m willing to make an exception for A Reason To Believe because the film deals with a subject that, now more than ever, needs to be dealt with.

Charlotte (Allison Smith) is a student at an unnamed generic university.  When her boyfriend, Wesley (Danny Quinn), has to go away for the weekend, he asks Allison not to go to Viking, an annual party thrown by his fraternity.  Charlotte promises that she won’t but then goes anyway.  At Viking, she hangs out with Wesley’s best friend, Jim (Jay Underwood).  Jim is also dating Allison’s friend, Judith (Kim Walker).  Realizing that she’s had too much to drink, Allison attempts to leave the party but instead, Jim leads her into his bedrom.  He kisses her.  She says no but Jim forces himself on her.  Repeating all the old bullshit excuses (i.e., Charlotte was flirting with him, all girls say no when they mean yes, and all the rest) Jim seems to truly believe that the sex was consensual.  Charlotte knows it was rape.

At first, Charlotte doesn’t want to face what happened.  When she finally does go to the university administration and reports what happened, the frat — including her boyfriend — comes together to protect Jim.  Charlotte’s friends — like Judith — abandon her.  Her only supporter is Linda (Georgia Emelin), an anti-fraternity campus activist who is more interested in Charlotte as a means to an end than as a human being.

A Reason To Believe held up fairly well.  Yes, it’s heavy-handed and a lot of the dialogue is too spot-on and literal.  I could have done without the scenes featuring Obba Babatunde as a bombastic professor.  However, Allison Smith and Jay Underwood both gave excellent performances in the two lead roles and the film deserves a lot of credit for not shying away from just how misogynistic the fraternity/sorority culture can truly be.  Ultimately, flaws and all, it’s a valuable, realistic, and angry portrayal of rape culture and it deserves to be seen for that reason.

It can currently be viewed on YouTube.

Horror on TV: Sabrina The Teenage Witch 1.5 “A Halloween Story”


I used to love watching Sabrina The Teenage Witch when I was younger!  This was mostly because I wanted to grow up to be a teenage witch.

Sabrina’s very first Halloween episode was first broadcast on October 25th, 1996.  In A Halloween Story, Sabrina must use magic (surprise! surprise!) in order to be able to attend two Halloween parties at the same time.  As so often happens with Sabrina, the laughs are surprisingly clever and the ending is nicely heart-warming.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orPkpCPR214