In 1996’s DNA, Mark Dacascos plays Dr. Ash Matteley, an American doctor who works to bring healthcare to the residents of Borneo. When Ash’s former boss, Dr. Carl Wessinger (Jürgen Prochnow), approaches Ash and invites him to take part in a jungle expedition to track down some beetles whose genetic material can cure all known diseases, Ash agrees. However, once Wessinger, Ash, and their native helpers find the beetles in an ancient tomb, it turns out that Wessinger has plans of his own. He shoots Ash in the shoulder and then makes his escape.

Two years later, Ash has long hair and he’s taken to wearing a Hawaiian shirt, but he’s still dedicated to taking care of the poor of Borneo. When CIA agent Claire Sommers (Robin McKee) approaches him and asks him to help lead her through the jungle, Ash says that he’s not interested. But when Sommers reveals that she’s looking for Wessinger, Ash realizes that he has no choice but to help her. For some reason, they take a child named Matzu with them. Why you would recruit a child for a dangerous mission that involves going upriver in a canoe, I’m not sure. Then again, I’m also not sure why Claire would wear a dress while exploring the jungle either, other than the fact that the film needed an excuse to have Ash look away and then sneak a peek while Claire undresses and changes into something more jungle-appropriate.

It probably won’t surprise you to learn that Dr. Wessinger has not been spending his time trying to cure all known diseases. Instead, he’s been splicing genetic material to try to bring an ancient creature back to life. Now, before you say that this sounds like a Jurassic Park rip-off, allow me to point out that Wessinger is not bringing back a dinosaur. Instead, he’s bringing back a big alien creature, one that perhaps crashed on Earth during the prehistoric age. This is not Jurassic Park. At most, it’s Jurassic Alien.

Or maybe it’s just Alien. Once Ash and Claire and the little kid make it inside Dr. Wessinger’s headquarters, there are a lot of scenes of people hiding in offices and nervously walking down hallways and hoping that the monster won’t jump out of nowhere and kill them.

Then again, maybe we should just call this movie Predator because eventually, the action moves back into the jungle and Ash finds himself being stalked by the alien, who is apparently a very good hunter and who lives for the hunt. Ash goes from being a hippie doctor to being a full-blown action hero. There’s even a scene where he and Claire and the kid have to run away from a crashing helicopter. Of course, the helicopter was obviously a model. Still, it was hard not to imagine Mark Dacascos saying, “Get away from da choppah!”

My point is that a lot of different DNA was spliced together to create this movie. Take a little from Indiana Jones and a little from Apocalypse Now and then toss in Alien, Predator, and Jurassic Park and you’ve got DNA. Unfortunately, the film still isn’t as entertaining as it should have been. Mark Dacascos barely gets to show off his martial arts skills while the film can’t even give us one good Jürgen Prochnow freak-out. Even with all of the shameless plagiarism, the film still feels like it’s just going through the motions. Sadly, DNA is never as much fun as it should have been.