Tag Archives: Rick Hill

Warrior Queen (1987, directed by Chuck Vincent)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

The place is Pompeii in the year 79 A.D.

One of the jewels of the Roman Empire, Pompeii is overseen by the decadent Clodius Flaucus (Donald Pleasence).  Despite the warning that the statues of the Temple of Jupiter have been crying salt and that a goat was recently born with the head of a human, Clodius refuses to believe that anything bad could happen to Pompeii.  (“I’d like to see the cow!” Clodius exclaims with  a laugh.)

In the arena, the gladiator Goliath (Marco Tullio Cau) throws deadly frisbees and demands slave girls as his reward for victory.  In the streets, all the women adore Marcus (Rick Hill) but he has eyes only for one of the new slaves, the comely virgin Vespa (Tally Chanel).  Vespa has been purchased by Berenice (Sybil Danning), a former mistress of Caesar who is secretly working to free the slaves.

Warrior Queen was directed by Chuck Vincent.  Vincent was a veteran of the adult film industry and was considered to be one of the best hardcore directors around.  His X-rated films were even positively written up in the New York Times.  In the 80s, he tried to go mainstream and ended up making movies like this one.  Produced by British B-movie impresario Harry Alan Towers and filmed largely in Italy, Warrior Queen was an attempt to capitalize on the minor sword-and-sorcery revival that followed the success of Conan the Barbarian.  There’s plenty of nudity and violence but there’s not much plot and the film feels much longer than its 70-minute run time.  When the volcano does erupt, it’s represented by stock footage and someone shaking the camera while filming the extras.  Pompeii has never looked so cheap.

The main attraction here is Sybil Danning and Donald Pleasence.  Pleasence gives it his all and earns however much he made for this movie.  Danning is only in a handful of scenes and can be seen yawning at several points in the movie.  I think she’s supposed to be the title character but she’s actually neither a warrior nor a queen.  Rick Hill (of Deathstalker fame) and Tally Chanel are at least appealing as the leads, even if Chanel looks more like a lost cheerleader than a Roman slave girl.

The main thing that I learned from watching this film is that the lava that hit Pompeii wasn’t actually that thick, wide, or deep and everyone should have been able to just hop over it and escape.  Anyone who died at Pompeii has no one but themselves to blame.

Retro Television Reviews: The Master 1.9 “Kunoichi”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing The Master, which ran on NBC from January to August of 1984.  The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, McAllister and Max head to Washington, D.C.!

Episode 1.9 “Kunoichi”

(Dir by Gordon Hessler, originally aired on April 9th, 1984)

The 9th episode of The Master opens by showing us what Okasa (Sho Kosugi) has been doing since coming to America to track down and kill his former teacher, John Peter McAllister (Lee Van Cleef).  Okasa has been training an apprentice of his own.  The apprentice ninja is always seen while wearing a light gray ninja uniform, the better to keep the apprentice’s identity a secret until halfway through the episode.

Meanwhile, McAllister and Max (Tim Van Patten) are in Washington, D.C.  As McAllister explains it, he was good friends with Brian Elkwood (Jack Kelly) when they both served in the Army together.  During the Korean War, they were both held in the same POW camp and they escaped together.  (This, of course, goes against McAllister’s previous backstory, which was that he left the Army after World War II and spent the next 40 years hidden away in Japan.)  Elkwood is now an important advisor to the President.  Apparently, Elkwood sent McAllister a letter informing him that a spy known as The Hawk was threatening his life so McAllister has come to Washington to protect him.  (How exactly McAllister received a letter when he and Max are constantly driving around the country in search of McAllister’s daughter is not explained.)

At the Elkwood estate, Brian Elkwood tells his assistant, Allison Grant (Kelly Harmon), that he has been receiving letters from John Peter McAllister in which McAllister has threatened to kill him.  Allison argues that McAllister has always been Elkwood’s friend but Elkwood says that people can change.  Elkwood’s head of security, Ron Gordon (Rick Hill), is concerned not only about McAllister but also about uncovering the identity of The Hawk.

Or at least, that’s what Gordon claims.  A few scenes later, we discover that Gordon actually is The Hawk and that he’s hired Okasa to assassinate Elkwood.  Okasa is planning on framing McAllister for the assassination.  The assassination will be carried about his apprentice, who we learn is close to Elkwood.  The episode tries to build up a lot of suspense over who Okasa’s apprentice actually is but it’s actually pretty easy to figure out.  Elkwood is not the apprentice because he’s the target.  Gordon is the not apprentice because he’s the Hawk.  There’s only one other guest star on this episode so obviously, the apprentice is Allison.  Myself, I’m just confused as to when Okasa’s mission went from personally killing McAllister to framing him for murder.

Eventually, McAllister is able to convince Elkwood that he didn’t write the threatening letters but a sudden attack of Okasa’s apprentice leaves Elkwood hospitalized and McAllister arrested for attempted murder.  Fortunately, Max is able to use his ninja training to help McAllister escape from jail and they manage to not only prevent the second attempt on Elkwood’s life but they also expose both Gordon and Allison as being enemies of the state.  Yay!

This is one of those episodes where everyone, with the exception of Sho Kosugi, steps to the side and lets their stunt doubles do most of the work.  There’s a lot of fights but they are all awkwardly choreographed and framed, probably in an attempt to keep the audience from noticing that Lee Van Cleef’s stunt person was notably thinner and more athletic than Lee was.  As far as episodes of The Master are concerned, this was not a bad one but it still ultimately leaves the viewer feeling that it could have been so much better.

Cinemax Friday: Operation Cobra (1997, directed by Fred Olen Ray)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Interpol agent Kyle Connors (kickboxing legend Don “The Dragon” Wilson) is sent into a tailspin when his partner, Trevor (Rick Hill), is apparently killed during a failed operation.  Connors’s boss (played by the film’s director, Fred Olen Ray) orders Connors to go on leave so Connors promptly heads over to India.  Connors is planning on capturing Daveed (Evan Lurie), the drug dealer who Kyle blames for murdering Trevor.

While searching for Daveed with the help of an honest (and obviously doomed) cop named Ravi (R. Madhavan), Connors has several battles with a group of Indian ninjas who are intent on capturing a mysterious woman named Shallimar (Deepti Bhatnagar).  Connors also meets yet another mysterious woman, Callista (Tane McClure), who claims to be an intelligence agent and who tells him that Daveed’s boss is actually the enigmatic Victor Grayson (Michael Cavanaugh).  While Connors is tracking down Grayson, he finds out about yet another shadowy crime boss known as The Hydra and a computer disk that can apparently be used to hack into computer in the known world.

Can you guess who The Hydra actually is?

As any aficionado of late night Cinemax can tell you, Don “The Dragon” Wilson and Fred Olen Ray are a match made in heaven.  If you were growing up in the 90s, you knew Don “The Dragon” Wilson was cool because everyone who talked about him used both his given name and his nickname.  He was never just “Don Wilson” or “The Dragon.”  Instead, he was Don “The Dragon” Wilson.  Though Wilson never had much screen presence, he was a good on-screen fighter and the fact that he wasn’t a typically muscle-bound action hero made him more interesting than an ‘actor” like Steven Seagal.  Fred Olen Ray, meanwhile, was smart enough to get out of the way and let Wilson kickbox his way through the movie.  Though the story is nearly impossible to follow, a few good fight scenes more than make up for it.  Ray understands that is what most of his audience (maybe all of his audience) is going to be watching for.

Though the plot of Operation Cobra never makes any sense, most people will know what they’re going to get when they see who directed it and who is starring in it.  Even though the film wasn’t shot in the most photogenic areas of India (because that would have cost too much money), it still makes good use of its location footage and it’s hard not to be entertained by a film features Don “The Dragon” Wilson, Tane McClure, Rick Hill, and Evan Laurie.  That’s B-action movie nirvana.  I also liked that it was never entirely clear what the computer disk actually did but that it was extremely important than it not fall in the wrong hands.  It was the ultimate MacGuffin and because the film was made in 1997, it wasn’t necessary to go into details.  All that had to be said was that it had something to do with computers and that automatically made it a big deal.  That’s just the way things were in the 90s.

Robot Without A Cause: Class of 1999 II: The Substitute (1994, directed by Spiro Razatos)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

There’s a new substitute teacher at a local high school in Oregon and he’s not going to put up with any disrespectful punks.  John Bolen (Sasha Mitchell) can educate minds and change lives but only when he’s not busy killing any student with a bad attitude and trying to protect his fellow teacher, Jenna McKenzie (Caitlin Dulany).  Jenna is scheduled to testify against the local gang leader so every punk at school is trying to intimidate her and her boyfriend, Emmett (Nick Cassavetes!).  It takes Jenna and Emmett a while to realize that John is killing all of their students but soon, a mysterious man named G.D. Ash (Rick Hill) shows up and insinuates that John might be connected to the robot teachers that, two years earlier, terrorized a high school in Seattle.

This sequel to The Class of 1999 is mostly more of the same, with the main difference being that the focus is not on the students being hunted but instead on the teachers being “protected.”  If the first Class of 1999 was about the dangers of a no tolerance discipline policy, the sequel is all for it and suggests that maybe the world really would be better off if teachers could just kill some of their more disruptive students.  The first film’s director, Mark L. Lester, did not return for the sequel and directing duties were given to stunt coordinator to Spiro Razatos who, not surprisingly, emphasized action and stunts over characterization.  Fortunately, Sasha Mitchell was a champion kickboxer so he’s believable in the action scenes and he’s such a stiff actor that you could believe that he might be an android.  There’s a good and unexpected twist towards the end of the movie but, ultimately, the victims are too interchangeable and the direction is too flat for this sequel to duplicate the demented pleasures of either Class of 1999 or Class of 1984.