Off-Course Romance”

Posted on October 8, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Welcome aboard, it’s love!

Episode 6.21 “The Captain’s Crush/Out Of My Hair/Off-Course Romance”

(Dir by Ted Lange, originally aired on February 19th, 1983)

Kathy Costello (Stella Stevens) is looking forward to taking a cruise with her husband, Joe (Monte Markham). However, at the last minute, Joe decides that he would rather go to a golf tournament than take a vacation with his wife. The angry Kathy boards the boat and immediately runs into her ex-boyfriend, Ted Cole (Ron Ely). Kathy enjoys spending time with Ted but then suddenly, Joe shows up on the cruise. He’s not happy to discover his wife is spending time with her ex. The main problem with this story is that there’s no one to root for. Kathy is cheating but her husband is being a jerk. It’s rare that I ever watch an episode of The Love Boat and say, “This should end with divorce,” but this episode inspired me.

Meanwhile, Lydia (Delta Burke) boards the boat with her wealthy fiancé (Jeffrey Tambor). Lydia’s ex-boyfriend (Richard Gilliland) also boards the boat, hoping to break up their engagement. This storyline felt oddly similar to the other storyline and it suffered from the same problem. There was no one to root for. None of these people deserved to get married.

Finally, movie star Janine Adams (Joan Collins) boarded the boat and ate dinner with the Captain. The next day, the tabloid news wires are full of speculation that the Captain is going to become Jane’s tenth husband and the Captain starts to think that maybe he’d like to be Jane’s tenth husband. Go for it, I say! Seriously, Janine and the Captain are as close to a likable couple as this episode has so they might as well get married. Of course, they don’t get married. I guess that’s a good thing. It’s hard to imagine The Love Boat without Captain Stubing at the helm.

This episode was directed by Ted Lange and, as usual, he gets good performances from the cast. Unfortunately, this cruise is let down by two weakly-written stories.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 7.7 “The Wedding/Castaways”

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, Lawrence ruins everything.

Episode 7.7 “The Wedding/Castaways”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on November 26th, 1983)

Ugh, this episode.

Nerdy Fred Connors (Richard Gilliland) wants to spend a weekend alone with a beautiful woman. His favorite supermodel, Christy Robbins (Phyllis Davis), has been pressured by her manager (Steve Perry) into agreeing to spend the weekend with Fred at Pelican Cove. Fred and Christy will have their picture taken before and after their weekend together to show just how much spending time alone with Christy Robbins will improve one’s outlook on life.

Let’s just stop here and state the obvious. This makes ZERO sense. Christy’s manager has no idea who Fred is. He doesn’t even meet Fred until it’s time to him and Christy to go to Pelican Cove. Christy is a world-famous model. In what world would a celebrity agree to be abandoned on an isolated island with a total stranger? The photographers aren’t staying on the island with them. Instead, Christy and Fred are dropped off on the island and then everyone else leaves. If I was Christy, I would get a new manager.

A rival model named Celina Morgan (Shannon Tweed) was also up for the “abandoned on an island with a possible sex maniac” gig and she’s upset that she lost out to Christy. So, she sneaks out to Pelican Bay herself and soon, she and Christy are fighting over the right to spend their time with Fred. It’s dumb and it makes no sense and, considering that the whole fantasy is basically two beautiful woman fighting over one dorky guy, it’s actually feels a bit demeaning and mean-spirited.

Of course, it’s nowhere near as mean-spirited as the other fantasy. Lucy Gorman (Jeannie Wilson) is unhappy in her marriage to Dr. Jack Gorman (Gordon Thomson). She tells Roarke that the only good thing that came out of her marriage was her daughter (Andrea Barber) but Lucy even feels jealous of her! Lucy wants to go back to her wedding day so she can see what would happen if she left her husband at the altar and pursued another doctor (Richard Pierson).

Well, the main that would happen is that Lucy’s daughter would never be born. But somehow, this doesn’t occur to Lucy until the fantasy has started. How would that not occur to a mother? This fantasy was …. I can’t even begin to describe how annoying it was. Lucy came across as being very self-centered and kind of dumb.

I swear, the seventh season has just been terrible so far and I blame one person.

And, no, it’s not Mr. Roarke.

Seriously, ever since Lawrence showed up, the Island just hasn’t been the same. Are we sure that Lawrence isn’t the Devil? I mean, I know the Devil was traditionally played by Roddy McDowall on this show but I’m sure he change his appearance. There’s something sinister about Lawrence and I don’t trust him. He doesn’t care about Roarke and he doesn’t care about the fantasies.

What a disappointing trip to the Island. Traditionally, the last season of any show is usually the worst but it’s still painful to watch Fantasy Island misfire like it did with this episode.

Film Review: Stay Hungry (dir by Bob Rafelson)

Posted on July 30, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In the 1976 film Stay Hungry, Jeff Bridges plays Craig Blake.

When we first meet Craig, he doesn’t have much of a personality, though we still like him because he’s played by Jeff Bridges. Living in Alabama, he’s a young rich kid who, after the death of his parents, divides his time between his nearly empty mansion and his country club. Craig suffers from a good deal of ennui and seems to spend a lot of time writing letters to his uncle in which he promises that he’s going to eventually get his life together. Craig eventually gets a job at a real estate firm that is managed by Jabo (Joe Spinell). We know that the real estate firm is shady because Joe Spinell works there.

Craig is assigned to handle the purchase of a small gym so that he can eventually close the place and allow it to be torn down to make room for an office building. However, Craig soon falls for the gang of colorful eccentrics whose lives revolve around the gym and bodybuilder Joe Santo (Arnold Schwarzenegger, who gets an “introducing” credit, even though this was his fourth film). The friendly Franklin (Robert Englund) is Santo’s “grease” man. Anita (Helena Kallianiotes) is tough and can kick anyone’s ass. The receptionist, Mary Tate (Sally Field), is a free spirit with whom Craig soon falls in love. In fact, the only less than likable person at the gym is the former owner, Thor Erickson (R.G. Armstrong), a heavy-drinking perv who has a hole in the floor of his office that he uses to peek down at the women’s locker room.

There’s not much of a plot here. Instead, the film plays out in a rather laid back manner, with Santo befriending Craig and showing him the joy of embracing life. Arnold Schwarzenegger actually won an award (well, a Golden Globe) for his performance here and it must be said that he’s very good as the gentle and easy-going Santo. Because he’s huge and he’s Schwarzenegger, we expect him to be intimidating. Instead, he’s a soft-spoken guy who is quick to smile and who doesn’t even get upset when he finds out that Mary Tate and Craig are now involved. There’s even a surprising scene where Joe Santo picks up a fiddle and starts playing with a bluegrass band. Schwarzenegger is so likable here that it’s easy to wonder where his career might have gone if he hadn’t become an action star. Even early in his career (and when he was still speaking with a very thick accent), Schwarzenegger shows off a natural comic timing. He’s fun to watch.

In fact, he’s so much fun that the rest of the film suffers whenever he’s not onscreen. The cast is full of talented people but the film’s loose, plotless structure keeps us from truly getting too invested in any of them. (Santo is training for Mr. Universe so at least he gets an actual storyline.) Sally Field and Jeff Bridges are cute together but their romance is never quite as enchanting as it seems like it should be. The main problem with the film is that, when it ends, one still feels like Craig will eventually get bored with the gym and return back to his mansion and his country club. One doesn’t get the feeling that Craig has been changed so much as Craig just seems to be slumming for the heck of it.

There are charming moments in Stay Hungry. I’m a Southern girl so I can attest that the film captured the feel of the South better than most films. If you’re a Schwarzenegger fan, you have to see this film because it really does feature Arnie at his most charming and natural. Unfortunately, despite all that, the film itself never really comes together.

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 4.10 “High Off The Hog/Reprisal”

Posted on January 23, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986. Almost the entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube, Daily Motion, and a few other sites.

The plane has arrived!

Episode 4.10 “High Off The Hog/Reprisal”

(Dir by Michael Vejar, originally aired on January 10th 1981)

This week’s episode of Fantasy Island is all about being someone that you’re not.

For instance, Hadley Boggs (Stephen Shortridge) wants to thank his family for taking out a mortgage on the family farm, just so he could go to MIT. Hadley has a great future ahead of him but he just wants his dad (Noah Beery, Jr.), mother (Dody Goodman), and sister (Misty Rowe) to have a chance to be live like rich people for the weekend.

Fantasy Island to the rescue!

When the Boggs family arrives, they are shocked to discover that they are going to be living in a mansion. Mr. Roarke has arranged for them to host a cocktail party with ten of the richest men on the island. Unfortunately, he makes the mistake of telling Tattoo to place an invite for the party in the Fantasy Island Chronicle. (Yes, Fantasy Island has a newspaper and, in this episode, it appears to be printed in red ink.) Tattoo decides to spice things up by claiming that the Boggs family owns a uranium mine. Mr. Roarke is not happy.

“But, boss,” Tattoo says, “I am your best assistant!”

“That does not matter,” Roarke snaps before explaining that the Boggs family could be in a lot of trouble if they start buying things with money they don’t have or selling property they don’t own.

And, of course, that’s just what happens. Roger Fox (Shecky Greene) offers the father of the family a few million dollars for the mine. Thinking that it’s all part of the fantasy, Dad agrees. Roger then sells the non-existent mine to someone else because it turns out that Roger is a con artist at heart. Fortunately, with Roarke’s help, the family is able to con Roger into giving them back the non-existent mine and Hadley even falls in love with Roger’s daughter, Kathi (Kathrine Baumann). To be honest, I had a hard time following exactly how Mr. Roarke conned Roger into giving up his fake mine but I’m glad things worked out.

This fantasy was …. eh. The problem is that Hadley’s family was presented as being borderline idiots, what with their amazed reaction to existence of cars, airplanes, servants, and checking accounts. It’s one thing to make them a poor farm family. It’s another to treat them as if they’re the members of a cargo cult that has never had contact with modern human beings before. West Virginia is not the Amazon Rain Forest.

The other fantasy featured Maureen McCormick in one of her six trips to the Island. This time, she plays Trudy Brown (Maureen McCormick), an orphaned gymnast who is treated terribly by her aunt (Janis Paige) and her cousin (Holly Gagnier). Trudy wants to win the Fantasy Island Gymnastics Competition and, in the process, she wants to defeat her cousin. Mr. Roarke gives her the power of telekinesis, which Trudy promptly used to make her cousin fall off the high beam. Roarke gives Trudy a stern talking to.

It’s a struggle but eventually, Trudy realizes that she doesn’t want to win through magic powers. Nor does she want to hurt her cousin or anyone else competing. Roarke takes away her powers and Trudy, having learned a valuable lesson, wins the competition on her own.

This fantasy was actually a lot of fun, just because it gave the viewer a chance to see what Carrie would have been like if Maureen McCormick had played the title role instead of Sissy Spacek. McCormick seems to be having lot of fun loosening screws with her mind. Toss in some gymnastics with the telekinesis and you have classic Island fantasy!

This episode had one boring fantasy and one good fantasy. Luckily, the good overshadowed the boring.

A Movie A Day #56: The White Buffalo (1977, directed by J. Lee Thompson)

Posted on February 25, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

whitebuffalo1977 The year is 1874 and James Otis (Charles Bronson) is traveling through the Dakota Territory. Everywhere that James Otis goes, someone tries to shoot him. This is because James Otis is actually the infamous Wild Bill Hickcock and everyone this side of Deadwood has a reason to want him dead. Hickcock has returned to the territory because he is losing his eyesight and he fears that he may be dying. Hickcock has been having nightmares about a giant albino buffalo and believes that it is his destiny to either kill it or be killed himself.

Meanwhile, a young indian chief (Will Sampson) is also seeking the White Buffalo. The buffalo previously attacked his village and killed his son. The chief must now get revenge or lose his power in the tribe. He is now known as Worm. Before the buffalo attack, his name was Crazy Horse.

Crazy Horse eventually teams up with Hickcock and a one-eyed hunter named Charlie Zane (Jack Warden). They work out an uneasy alliance but who, of the three, will finally get the chance to kill the buffalo?

When Dino De Laurentiis produced The White Buffalo, he was hoping to combine the popularity of Jaws with the star power of Charles Bronson. It should have been a hit but instead, The White Buffalo was one of the many flops that temporarily killed the western as a commercial genre. (Before there was Heaven’s Gate, there was The White Buffalo.) The reason why is obvious: while audiences loved to watch Bronson shoot muggers in New York, they were less willing to sit through a pseudo-intellectual western version of Moby Dick that featured more conversation than gunplay. The obviously fake buffalo did not help matters.

I still like The White Buffalo, though. Because of the movie’s cheap sets, fake snow, and some inconsistent rear projection work, The White Buffalo is sometimes so surreal that it could pass for a Spaghetti Western. (When I saw Bronson, Sampson, and Warden huddled in a cardboard cave while it fake snowed outside, I immediately thought of Sergio Corbucci’s The Great Silence.) Charles Bronson, always an underrated actor, gave one of his best performances as the haunted Hickcock. The White Buffalo was, up until his small role in Sean Penn’s The Indian Runner, the last time that Bronson would allow himself to appear as anyone other than Charles Bronson on-screen.

When watching The White Buffalo, keep an eye out for several Hollywood veterans in minor roles. Kim Novak plays a prostitute. Stuart Whitman is a thief. Slim Pickens drives a stagecoach. Clint Walker’s an outlaw and Ed Lauter plays the younger brother of Gen. Custer. The town’s undertaker is John Carradine. The cameos don’t add up too much but it’s still good to see everyone.