Tag Archives: Ricardo Montalban

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.4 “The Angel’s Triangle/Natchez Bound”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, an angel comes to the Island.

Episode 6.4 “The Angel’s Triangle/Natchez Bound”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on November 6th, 1982)

Death takes a holiday!

Well, not literally.  The Angel of Death, Michael Eden (played by Gary Collins), does come to Fantasy Island but he’s working.  Years ago, he was meant to take soul of Catharine Harris (Carol Lynley), a woman who was in a car accident with her husband, Brent Harris (Doug McClure).  Michael could not bring himself to allow Catharine to die.  So, she miraculously survived.  But now, years later, Michael has been sent to collect the soul of Brent.  Brent and Catharine have come to Fantasy Island to have the honeymoon they missed out on due to the car accident.  Michael has come to make sure that the honeymoon is a tragic one.

Michael very much wants to take Brent’s soul.  If Brent’s dead than maybe Michael and Catharine could (somehow) be together.  But when Brent is taken ill and sent to the Fantasy Island hospital, Michael sees how much Catharine loves her husband.  And he allow Brent to live, which seems a bit unfair to …. well, like anyone.  Or at the very least, anyone who has ever died or lost a loved one.

The interesting thing about this fantasy was that it established that Roarke is apparently not an angel.  When Roarke introduces Tattoo to Michael, Roarke says that Michael “is not like us.”  This leads to a funny moment in which Tattoo, upon hearing that Michael is the angel of death, announces that he some work to catch up on.  I always like it when Tattoo gets to do more than just wave at the airplane.  As for the rest of this fantasy, it wasn’t bad.  Carol Lynley did a good job as Catharine.  Gary Collins was a bit stiff but it kind of worked for his character.  Doug McClure was as goofy as ever.

The other fantasy features Jennilee Harrison as Jenny Ryan, a Vegas card dealer who wants to work on a Mississippi steamboat.  She gets her wish and promptly gets involved with helping a writer named Samuel Clemens (Stephen Shortridge, a.k.a. Beau on Welcome Back Kotter) and a kid named Huck Finn (Adam Rich) hide an escaped slave (Sam Scarber) from a dastardly gambler and slave hunter (Roddy McDowall).  Did I mention that Clemens is having trouble coming up with a plot for his new book?  Jenny inspires Mark Twain, helps Jim get to safety, and returns to the present with a pet frog.  Sure, why not?  This storyline was predictable, largely because I read Huckleberry Finn in high school.  However, Stephen Shortridge was, somewhat surprisingly given his work on Kotter, perfectly charming as Mark Twain and Roddy McDowall obviously enjoyed hamming up his villainy.  (To be honest, when I saw Roddy’s name in the opening credits, I was hoping he’d be returning as Satan.)

This was not a bad episode, especially compared to the previous season 6 episodes.  Both fantasies held me attention and apparently, the Angel of Death will leave you alone if he thinks you’re cute.  That’s good to know!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.3 “The Perfect Gentleman/Legend”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

Smiles, everyone!

Episode 6.3 “The Perfect Gentleman/Legend”

(Dir by Philip Leacock, originally aired on October 30th, 1982)

Jimmy Jordan (Paul Williams, who appeared on a lot of these type of shows) is a rock star who witnessed a mob hit at one of his concerts.  Jimmy did what anyone would do.  He called the police.  They offered to protect him if he testified but then they told him that they probably wouldn’t be able to continue to protect him afterwards.  (Uhmm …. hello?  Witness Protection Program?)  Jimmy decided to fake his own death and then go to Fantasy Island.  His fantasy?  To not get caught by the two mobsters who have been sent to make sure that he’s actually dead.

Uhmmm …. that’s weird.  Like all of that was going on Jimmy just decided to go to Fantasy Island?  And then he shows up on Fantasy Island wearing a trenchcoat over his rock star jump suit?  Weird.

Fortunately, Michelle (Leslie Easterbrook) is on the island and her fantasy is apparently to have a new butler!  Soon, Jimmy is calling himself Godfrey and helping Michelle and her family save their business while Tracer (John Davis Chandler) and Killer (Joseph Ruskin) search for him.  Needless to say, Jimmy and Michelle fall in love and leave the island together and, unless I missed something, it appears that Jimmy is planning on just being Godfrey for the rest of his life.  He even drives Michelle and her daughter to the docks so that they can all fly off to the mainland.  I guess the world is going to go on believing that Jimmy’s dead and….

This fantasy raised way too many unanswered questions and Paul Williams was convincing neither as a rock star or a butler.  This is a fantasy that called out for someone like …. oh, I don’t know.  Sonny Bono, maybe.

The other fantasy was a bit of an improvement, just because it featured the unlikely but surprisingly likable pairing of Michelle Phillips and Andy Griffith.  Phillips plays Andrea Barclay, who has a beautiful singing voice but who suffers from crippling stage fright.  Her fantasy is to successfully perform in front of the toughest crowd ever.

Really?  Roarke says, The toughest crowd?

By now, guests should realize that whenever Roarke says something like that, it means your fantasy is going to be interpreted in a bizarre way that you never expected.  Considering that, the last time that Michelle Phillips was on the show, her fantasy to be the most famous woman in the world somehow led to her becoming Lady Godiva, Andrea really should have known better.  Instead, Andrea is shocked when she finds herself in the Old West, where Judge Roy Bean (Andy Griffith) has promised the citizens of Langtry, Texas that his favorite actress and singer, Lillie Langtry (Madlyn Rhue), will be performing for them.  When Lillie leaves without singing, it’s time for Andrea to put on a mask and pretend to be Lillie as she performs in Judge Bean’s saloon.  Yeah, it’s a silly fantasy but Andy Griffith and Michelle Phillips both put their heart into their performances.  Andy Griffith does his folksy-but-intelligent routine while Michelle Phillips especially deserves a lot of credit for taking things seriously.

This episode had the same problem as last week’s.  Everything felt very familiar.  Last week, we had what seemed like the show’s hundredth boxing and dancing fantasy.  This week, we have what feels like the hundredth singing fantasy.  After five seasons, it’s obvious that the show’s writers had started to run out of ideas.

Next week …. Roddy McDowall returns to Fantasy Island!  Yay!

 

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.2 “Dancing Lady/The Final Round”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, Fantasy Island feels familiar.

Episode 6.2 “Dancing Lady/The Final Round”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on October 23rd, 1982)

It’s another dancing and boxing episode!

I have lost track of how many Fantasy Island stories have centered around either dancing or boxing but I know that they’ve been the subject of multiple episodes every season.  The fantasies always seem to play out the same as well.  A young boxer has a shot at the championship but taking one wrong blow could end their career or even their life.  And a woman with a boring job — usually, she’s a receptionist — wants to be the world’s greatest dancer but, in the end, discovers that love is the most important thing.  Usually, the familiarity of the stories is a part of Fantasy Island‘s charm but I have to admit that I spent this entire episode wondering if I had seen it before.  The fantasies felt so familiar that, ultimately, everyone just seemed to be going through the motions.

The dancer was Kristy Lee (Lynda Goodfriend), who was given a special powder that would give her the ability to be the world’s greatest dancer.  I know what you’re thinking and no, it was not cocaine.  Instead, it was dust that had been gathered from the world’s greatest theaters and which had magical powers only when used on Fantasy Island.  Using the dust, Kristy auditioned for a spot in a musical showcase starring Ray Tucker (Ken Berry), a down-on-his-luck dancer looking to make a comeback.  Unfortunately, Kristy was so good that Ray feared she would overshadow him.  Ray had to find his confidence and Kristy had to learn that she could dance beautifully even without the magic dust because, according to Roarke, the power of love is all one needs.  (That laughter you hear is coming from every dance teacher I’ve ever had.)  The highlight of this fantasy was Ray Bolger, playing a Broadway producer who happened to be an old friend of Roarke’s.  Bolger and Ricardo Montalban, two old show business pros, seemed to really enjoy working together.  As well, Bolger’s producer had a nice scene where he and Tattoo spoke in French to each other.  It was a fun little moment and, if nothing else, it indicated that both Roarke and Tattoo have lives outside of greeting people on Fantasy Island.

The boxing story featured Al Molinaro as Max, a trainer who wanted to train someone for an exhibition match against the world champion.  Max got his chance to train the enthusiastic Tommy Rudolph (William R. Moses) but, when Max’s ex-girlfriend (Rue McClanahan) warned him that one more concussion could possibly kill Tommy, Max had to make a decision.  Would he push Tommy to keep fighting or would he thrown in the towel after Tommy took a few shots to the head?  Max, of course, did the right thing.

As I said, it was all pretty predictable and familiar.  At least Tattoo got to have some fun.  Along with speaking French, he also got to put on a bookie outfit and then take bets on the outcome of the fight.  When Roarke told Tattoo to cancel all the bets, Tattoo replied that being a bookie was his fantasy!

Hey, it made me laugh,

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.1 “Curse of the Moreaus/My Man Friday”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

Welcome to the sixth season of Fantasy Island!

Episode 6.1 “Curse of the Moreaus/My Man Friday”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on October 16th, 1982)

A new season has begun and the fifth season’s Julie experiment is officially over.  Mr. Roarke is back and Tattoo is once again his only assistant.  Julie is not only missing but she’s not even mentioned in this episode.  Personally, I think Julie went to college on the mainland or maybe she married Gopher from the Love Boat.  Either way, Julie is gone and Fantasy Island is back to normal.

This week’s fantasies both felt familiar.  It was another haunted house fantasy and another “secretary-becomes-the-boss fantasy.”  After spending nearly ten years as a secretary at an ad agency, Linda Whitney (Pamela Hensley) has watched as her stupid boss, Ed Turner (Avery Schrieber) has taken credit for all of her ideas and as everyone has gotten promoted but her.  Linda wants to be an executive and fortunately, Mr. Roarke knows the president of her company.  Linda has received a promotion to the executive suite.  She has 48 hours to prove herself or she’ll be “demoted” back to secretary.

(Demoted is in scare quotes because, right out of college, I worked as an administrative assistant and let me just say that a good assistant is the most important person in any office.)

What’s odd about this fantasy is that Mr. Roarke arranges for Linda’s office to be transported to Fantasy Island.  But all of Linda’s co-workers are transported to the Island as well.  In fact, the entire building seems to now be on Fantasy Island.  I mean, at this point, we all know that Mr. Roarke can pretty much do anything but even this seems a bit extreme for a fantasy that is clearly established as not being something that’s just happening in Linda’s head.  Mr. Roarke is somehow transporting office buildings now.  Were Linda’s co-workers given any warning before being transported to the Island?

It’s not easy being an executive.  Her old boss wants her to fail.  All of her former secretarial colleagues want her to fail.  Can Linda get land the big account?  Sure, she can.  Luckily, she has a male secretary named Jack Friday (James Houghton) to help out!  By the end of the episode, Linda has come to realize that she treated the handsome Jack almost as poorly and objectified Jack almost as much Ed Turner did to her.  Then again, Jack does introduce himself by saying that he likes working for women because they have “better legs.”  All that said, I liked the fantasy.  I liked that Linda kept her promotion.  I liked that she worked with Jack without falling in love with him.  I like that she left the Island on her own, satisfied with her new career.

As for the other fantasy, Jack Moreau (Stuart Whitman) is haunted by nightmares in which he kills his wife, Kathy (Barbara Rush).  Agck!  It turns out that Moreau men are cursed.  They murder their wives on their 50th birthday.  Jack failed to mention this to Kathy when they got married.  That’s probably grounds for divorce.  Anyway, Mr. Roarke sends them to spend Jack’s birthday weekend in the Moreau plantation, where they are watched by a mysterious servant (Raymond St. Jacques) who seems to be all about driving Jack to murder his wife.  Fortunately, Jack does not murder his wife.  Kathy tells Jack that she loves him and the curse is broken.  Hey, that was easy!  That said, I enjoyed this fantasy.  The Fantasy Island haunted house stories always have a lot of atmosphere to them.  They’re fun to watch.

This was a good start of the season.  It was nice to see Tattoo and Roarke joking again.  Tattoo points out that a good boss needs good people working for him and Tattoo’s absolutely right.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.22 “The Ghost’s Story/The Spoilers”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, season 5 comes to an end.

Episode 5.22 “The Ghost’s Story/The Spoilers”

(Dir by Don Chaffey, originally aired on May 8th, 1982)

The latest batch of guests are arriving and Julie is nowhere to be seen!  Perhaps that’s because, as Mr. Roarke explains to Tattoo, Julie is helping out a guest who has an invisibility fantasy.  Tattoo and Roarke watch as the guest walks by.  His body may be invisible but his pants are not.

This is the final episode of the fifth season and it’s also the final episode in which Wendy Schaal will be credited as a part of the cast.  I wasn’t a huge fan of the Julie character but it still seems like a bit of a shame that she didn’t get to do anything in the finale.  Then again, this episode doesn’t really feel like a finale.  I don’t know what was going on behind the scenes during the fifth season but it’s hard not to feel, with the way that Julie and Tattoo have randomly shown up in different stories, that the season’s episodes were not shown in the order in which they were filmed.  Maybe all the Julie episodes were filmed at one time, while Herve Villechazie was off doing something else.  Who knows?  It’s just been a strange season.

That’s all wonderful and interesting, Lisa …. But what about this week’s fantasies!? you may be asking.

They both feel a bit familiar.  That’s not always a bad thing, of course.  Fantasy Island is a comfort show and a part of the comfort is knowing that things are always going to play out in a certain way.  But, with this episode, both fantasies felt as if they had been done better in the past.

Harry (Bo Hopkins) is a bounty hunter who comes to the Island to track down fugitive Nick Tanner (Robert Fuller).  Nick has been accused of robbing a bank and is hiding out on a nearby island.  Harry goes to the island but he soon discovers that Nick is innocent and that the real bank robbers have also come to the island in search of Nick.  Luckily, there’s a widow named Juliet (Jo Ann Pflug) who is also living on the island.  Harry and Nick hide out at her place before they all team up to defeat the real bank robbers.  Nick and Juliet fall in love and Mr. Roarke performs one of his trademark wedding ceremonies.  Nick and Juliet then board the plane back to America and …. wait a minute, what about Harry?  It was his fantasy!  We don’t ever see Harry leave Fantasy Island.  Maybe he’s still living there.

(Personally, I think he married Julie and that’s why she was no longer working there once season six began.  I like that.  Consider it to be canon.)

The other fantasy is a haunted house story.  Amanda Parsons (Tanya Roberts) comes all the way from Baltimore to spend 24 hours in one of Fantasy Island’s many haunted houses.  Two other paranormal investigators attempt to do it before Amanda but they end up fleeing after two minutes.  I’m not sure why.  The manor looks creepy but it turns out that the ghost is a rather wimpy and not at all frightening guy named Timothy Black (Dack Rambo).  Cursed by his own father after Timothy refused to fight a duel with Captain Fitzhugh Ross (John McCook), Timothy has spent two hundred years haunting the old manor.  Amanda takes sympathy on him.  It turns out that Ross’s descendant is also on the Island.  Timothy challenges him to a duel, causing the latest Ross to run in fear.  Timothy and his ghost dad (John Myhers) realize it’s okay to be scared of getting shot.  Ghost Dad asks Roarke to bring Timothy back to life so that he can pursue his romance with Amanda.  Roarke does just that, despite the fact that, in many previous episodes, Roarke has specifically said that he cannot bring the dead back to life.

Usually, I enjoy Fantasy Island‘s haunted house fantasies but this one didn’t do much for me.  I think it’s because the ghost was just too wimpy.  There’s nothing more annoying than a whiny a dead guy,

And so ends this very odd season.  Next week, we being season 6!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.21 “The Big Bet/Nancy and the Thunderbirds”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, it’s the last Julie episode.

Episode 5.21 “The Big Bet/Nancy and the Thunderbirds”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on May 1st, 1982)

Because I’ve got a cold and I’ve still got a lot to do for the holidays, I’m only going to do a mini-review for this episode.  It’s not a very good episode so the less time spent talking about it, the better.

  • I knew this episode wasn’t going to be my cup of tea when Julie was the one who greeted Mr. Roarke as he stepped out of his office.  That’s nothing against Wendy Schaal, the actress who played Julie.  It’s just that the episodes in which Julie helps out Roarke are never as good as the Tattoo episodes.  Ricardo Montalban and Wendy Schaal just didn’t have the same type of entertaining chemistry as Montalban and Herve Villechaize.
  • I think a huge part of the problem with Julie is that she is Roarke’s goddaughter and spends a lot of time looking up to him and treating him like a father figure.  Tattoo and Roarke were, more or less, equals and they could relate to each other on a much more honest and, by the standards of the show, realistic fashion.
  • As for the fantasies, neither one is very interesting.
  • Mary Ann Mobley plays Nancy Carsons, who was adopted and raised by an Indian chief.  Nancy]s fantasy is to fulfil the Chief’s prophecy and conquer a thunderbird.  Apparently, only by doing this can Nancy prevent the tribe from falling apart when the Chief dies.  The problem is that the thunderbird is a mythological bird who does not exactly exist.
  • However, there is a squadron of airplanes known as the Thunderbirds and they’re visiting Fantasy Island.  Can Nancy, who is a licensed pilot, fly one of those plans and kind of make the prophecy come true?
  • Of course, she does!  And she also falls in love with Major Wood (Patrick Wayne) so, not only is the Tribe saved but Nancy will now be doing even more flying.
  • If the Thunderbirds fantasy was just kind of bland, the “Big Bet” fantasy is downright offensive, with Corky Daniels (John James) making a bet with his co-workers that he can have sex with Playpen model, Judy Moreau (Lydia Cornell).  Judy just happens to be on the Island, accompanied by Playpen published Hugh Hefner Al Henshaw (Edd Byrnes).
  • Corky tells Judy a lot of lies to get her to fall for him.  When Judy finds out about the bet, she’s so upset that she …. sleeps with Corky anyways.  But then Corky doesn’t tell his friends about sleeping with Judy and loses the bet which proves to Judy that he really does love her.
  • Now, let’s give credit where credit it due.  Both Roarke and Julie tell Corky that he’s being a sexist pig.  I always like it when Roarke gets offended with his guest’s because Montalban always seemed to enjoy playing up Roarke’s anger.  Mr. Roarke comes across as being the perfect host but you don’t want to get him mad.
  • Corky and Judy leave the Island together.  Judy should have tossed Corky in the lagoon.

We’ve got one episode left in season 5.  I checked and it’s a Tattoo episode, which means this week’s episode was Julie’s grand finale.  Unfortunately, it’s not really much of a finale.  Julie’s sudden presence on the Island was never really adequately explained, though it was kind of nice to be reminded that there’s always a lot taking place on the Island and Roarke doesn’t always have time to oversee every little thing.  I suppose Roarke probably has many assistants who we rarely see.

Because of the holidays, this is my final Fantasy Island review of 2024.  I will resume reviewing Fantasy Island on January 7th!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.20 “Forget-Me-Not/The Quizmasters”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, Tattoo is still missing.

Episode 5.20 “Forget-Me-Not/The Quizmasters”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on April 10th, 1982)

Amnesiac Ellen Layton (Jill St. John) comes to the Island in hopes of remembering who she was in her past life.  Ever since she was tossed off a horse and struck her head, Ellen has not been able to recall a single detail of her old life.  Roarke agrees to help, using another one of those magic plants that seem to grow in abundance on Fantasy Island.  However, Roarke also shows Julie a hologram that reveals that, in her previous life, Ellen was a ruthless businesswoman who fired people at the drop of a hat.

As quickly becomes obvious, amnesiac Ellen is far happier than corporate Ellen.  Afterall, amnesiac Ellen has all sorts of friends on the Island and she even has sleazy Mike Collins (Dan Gautier) pretending to be in love with her.  (In what I believe is a Fantasy Island first, we hear the thoughts of Mike and several other men when they first learn that the wealthy and beautiful Ellen can’t remember anything about her past life.)  But when Ellen’s real husband (Brett Halsey) comes to the Island looking for her, she has to decide if she wants to go back to who she used to be or if she wants to continue being the carefree amnesiac that she’s been for the last several months.  Which will she choose?

You already know the answer to that one.  Ellen’s fantasy really wasn’t that interesting.  I preferred the first part of the show’s other fantasy.  Two game show hosts (Gene Rayburn and Jan Murray), who are both in love with the same woman (Vikki Carr), come to the Island because they want to compete in the ultimate game show.  Roarke actually sets up a game show for them, with himself as host and a studio audience.  The two men are asked a question.  The first man to answer correctly is given the choice of opening one of four doors.  Three of the doors contain prizes, like love and money.  The other door is the …. DOOR OF DEATH!

One of the joys of this episode is watching Ricardo Montalban play a game show host.  He appears to be having a blast, especially when he gets to dramatically remind the two contestants about “the Door of Death!”  And, while the two men do manage to open up two of the doors successfully (leading one contestant rescuing Vikki Carr from being burned at the stake as a witch and the other contestant robbing a 1920s bank), the third door that the two men open is THE DOOR OF DEATH!

Unfortunately, the Door of Death turns out to be a bit anticlimatic.  The two men and the women they love have to survive in the wilderness while being pursued by an archer whose fantasy is to — *sigh* — hunt the most dangerous prey of all, man.  The show just did a Most Dangerous Game knock-off just two episodes ago so why do it again?  Fortunately, both of the game show hosts and the woman they’re fighting over survive.  They leave the Island together, their love triangle unresolved.

The game show had a lot of potential but this episode was disappointing.  Unfortunately, Tattoo was not in this episode and Julie served as Roarke’s assistant.  Nothing against Julie but the whole game show thing seemed like it would have been a perfect set up for some Roarke/Tattoo banter.  This show was definitely better with Tattoo than without him.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.18 “Sitting Duck/Sweet Suzi Swann”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

Smiles, everyone!

Episode 5.18 “Sitting Duck/Sweet Suzi Swann”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on March 6th, 1982)

Once again, Julie is not involved in either of this week’s fantasies.  At the start of the episode, Roarke tells Tattoo that Julie has been trying to help a guest whose fantasy was to introduce “women’s lib” to cavemen.  A woman then runs by while being chased by a caveman.  Apparently, the fantasy did not go well.  I’m a bit worried that Julie might lose her job because none of the fantasies that she’s involved with ever seem to go well.

As for this week’s guests, Chuck Conners shows up as Frank Barton.  Barton is a big-game hunter.  He has hunted and conquered almost every type of animal.  Now, he wants to hunt the most dangerous animal of all …. okay, okay, you’ve heard all this before.  This is not the first time that Fantasy Island has looked to The Most Dangerous Game for inspiration.  However, this is the first time that the show has featured a hunter who specifically wants to stalk Mr. Roarke.

It’s a bit of an odd fantasy, though.  Frank doesn’t want to chase Mr. Roarke through the forest or anything like that.  Instead, Frank just wants to plant booby traps around the Island.  If Mr. Roarke survives 24 hours, he’ll be fee to set a few traps of his own.  Roarke agrees, explaining to Tattoo that, if Frank doesn’t come after him then he’ll go after someone else.  Roarke is doing the world a favor by distracting Frank.

Frank tries, he really does.  He tries poison.  He tries explosives.  Even though Mr. Roarke agrees not to use any of his “special powers,” he always manages to stay a step or two ahead of Frank.  Finally, Frank kidnaps Tattoo and that’s when Mr. Roarke says enough of this.  If you’ve ever wanted to see Mr. Roarke beat up a guest, this is the episode for you.  Frank ends up leaving the Island in the custody of two burly men who are apparently going to check him into a mental hospital.  Frank got his fantasy but it didn’t turn out well for him.  At least he wasn’t trying to reason with cavemen….

Meanwhile, Suzi Swann (Helen Reddy) comes to the Island with her boss, fashion designer Jack Becker (George Maharis).  Suzi is in love with Jack but Jack takes her for granted.  Suzi’s fantasy is to fall out of love with him and …. wait a minute!  Didn’t Helen Reddy sing “I am Woman?”  Why is the show wasting her time with this fantasy when they could have cast her as the guest who wanted to teach the cavemen about equality?  If they had done that, Julie could have worked with Helen Reddy and Roarke and Tattoo would have been free to concentrate on Frank and his homicidal fantasy!  I mean, I think it was a mistake to give Roarke two assistants for this season but if you’re going to have Julie around, at least let her take part in one of the main fantasies….

Oh well.  Let’s get back to the fantasy that actually did happen.

Roarke gives Suzi some magic gumdrops that were apparently made with special Fantasy Island berries.  The gumdrops make Suzi feel the opposite of whatever she previously felt.  She takes one and immediately announced that she doesn’t like either Roarke or Tattoo.  “You’re short!” Suzi says to Tattoo which …. ugh.  That’s a terrible line, considering that the show has previously always treated Tattoo’s height with a good deal of sensitivity.

Suzi is no longer in love with Jack and instead, she finds herself attracted to the mysterious Claude Duvalle (James Darren).  But the fact that she is no longer willing to be Jack’s doormat leads to Jack realizing that he failed to appreciate her.  Jack falls in love with Suzi and Suzi falls back in love with Jack.

As Suzi and Jack leave together, Tattoo suggests that Rorake failed to give Suzi her fantasy.  Roarke explains that Suzi fell out of love with the old Jack but then she fell in love with the new Jack so actually, he totally succeeded.  Uhm….whatever you say, Mr. Roarke.

Roarke then takes a magic gumball and tells Tattoo, “I don’t like you.”

AGCK!  But actually, the gumball makes its user for the opposite of what they actually feel so Mr. Roarke actually does like Tattoo!  Awwww!  I’m glad that’s cleared up.

I enjoyed this episode.  Much like last week’s episode it felt like a throwback to the first two seasons of Fantasy Island.  Neither fantasy really made much sense but both Roarke and Tattoo got to do a lot and that really made all the difference.  Fantasy Island always works best when Roarke and Tattoo are more than just bystanders.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.17 “Funny Man/Tattoo, The Matchmaker”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

Smiles, everyone!  Smiles!

Episode 5.17 “Funny Man/Tattoo, The Matchmaker”

(Dir by George W. Brooks, originally aired on February 20th, 1982)

For the second week in a row, Julie only appears in the stock footage at the start of the episode.  And again, for the second week in a row, no mention is made of her.  Mr. Roarke doesn’t say anything about why she’s not greeting the guests at the docks.  Tattoo doesn’t seem to care.

This is actually a big episode for Tattoo.  It turns out that Tattoo has a side hustle going.  He’s running a computer dating service!  (This isn’t surprising.  During the early seasons of the show, Tattoo always had some sort of extra money-making scheme going on.)  He’s invited both Harriet Wilson (Laurie Walters) and Claudette Mills (Misty Rowe) to the Island so that they can be set up with the perfect future husband.  Usually, Roarke isn’t happy when Tattoo invites people to the Island on his own but this time, he doesn’t seem to be too upset about it.  He tells Tattoo that the two women and their fantasies will be his responsibility.  At one point, Roarke even mentions that Tattoo is in charge of overseeing all of the weddings that occur on Fantasy Island.  Does that include Mr. Roarke’s wedding from a few seasons ago?

However, there’s a problem.  Tattoo’s big computer has decided that both Harriet and Claudette should marry Mr. Roarke.  Tattoo and his business partner, Ambrose Tuttle (Skip Stephenson), think that the computer must be malfunctioning but Tattoo did promise the women that he would set them up with the most charming man on the Island and what better description is there for Mr. Roarke?

Mr. Roarke is not particularly amused to discover that he is now expected to marry two women who he doesn’t even know.  Considering the tragic ending of Mr. Roarke’s previous marriage, this isn’t a huge shock.  Roarke tells Tattoo that he has to find other husbands for both Harriet and Claudia.  Fortunately, Amrbose Tuttle is single and a former football player (Russ Francis) has also come to the Island.  Can Tattoo pull it off and help all four of these people fall in love?  To quote Mr. Roarke, “Indeed, he can.”  This is Fantasy Island!

Along with learning about Tattoo’s computer dating operation, we also learn about Tattoo’s favorite comedian.  Beau Gillette (Jimmy Dean) has built a successful career telling jokes about his redneck family.  What he’s never told anyone, including his fiancée (Vicki Lawrence), is that his family is imaginary.  Beau grew up in an orphanage and created his family in his head so he wouldn’t be lonely.  Beau’s fantasy is for his family to exist, just so he can introduce them to his fiancée.  Mr. Roarke suggests that it might be a better idea for Beau to just tell the truth but Beau’s like, “Nah, let’s just bring imaginary people to life.”

While Beau’s performing his act, Uncle Jack (Morgan Woodward), grandma (Jeanette Nolan), and cousin Lindy (Linda Thompson Jenner) all come to life.  The only problem is that they all know that they’re really imaginary and they’re not happy that Beau’s been thinking less about them and more about his fiancée.  They decide that Lindy should break up Beau’s engagement by seducing him.  And if they doesn’t work, they can just kill Beau’s fiancée….

Wow, that got dark!

Actually, this isn’t a very dark fantasy at all.  Both fantasies are played largely for laughs.  Beau, realizing that his imaginary family has been a crutch that he’s been using for too long, confesses that they don’t really exist and, as a result, they all fade away.  Beau’s free to get married and I guess come up with new act.  Yay!

Much like last week, this episode felt like a throwback to the early seasons of Fantasy Island.  Tattoo got a storyline and Mr. Roarke was heavily involved in the fantasies, as opposed to just being a bystander.  Both Herve Villechaize and Ricardo Montalban appeared to be having fun in this episode and, as a result, it was fun to watch, even if it was hard to buy into the idea the Beau Gillette’s rather anodyne jokes about his redneck family would have made him into a star.  Largely due to Tattoo and his computer dating service, this was an enjoyable trip to the Island.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.16 “The Challenge/A Genie Named Joe”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, Fantasy Island reminds us why we love this show in the first place.

Episode 5.16 “The Challenge/A Genie Named Joe”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on February 13th, 1982)

Now, this is a great episode!

Julie doesn’t appear in this episode, beyond the usual stock footage that appears at the start of every season 5 episode.  In fact, Julie isn’t even mentioned in this episode.  Instead, it’s Roarke and Tattoo all the way.  Roarke and Tattoo greet the visitors together.  Tattoo is the one who helps Roarke put the fantasies together.  Roarke and Tattoo say goodbye to everyone at the end.  In a way, this episode felt like a throwback to the first two seasons of Fantasy Island.

The fantasies feel like throwbacks to the first two seasons as well, with both of them featuring interesting guest stars and just enough twists to keep things interesting.  We’ve got one comedic fantasy and one dramatic fantasy but the comedic fantasy is not too silly and the dramatic fantasy is not too serious.  The episode manages to strike a pretty good balance between the two so, for once, neither fantasy feels rushed or short-changed.

The comedic fantasy features Kim Darby as Rebecca Walters, who wants to find a husband who is courteous and handsome.  Tattoo takes her out to the magical Fantasy Island lagoon, where she meets a genie named …. well, he has a really long genie name but fortunately, he’s happy to be called Joe (Larry Linville).  Joe can grant Rebecca three wishes.  As always happens with genies, Rebecca wastes her first two wishes.  For instance, when she says that it’s a little bit too warm for her, Joe grants her wish and temporarily turns Fantasy Island into a winter wonderland, complete with snow and Christmas music playing.  (Seriously, the sight of snow on Fantasy Island was surprisingly charming, as was Tattoo’s shocked reaction.)  In the end, of course, Rebecca comes to discover that she loves Joe.  Joe transforms from a genie-into-a-man and they leave the Island together.  It was a charming and cute fantasy.  Both Darby and Linville seemed to be having fun with their roles and they had a surprising amount of chemistry together.  This was a fun fantasy.

As for the dramatic fantasy, it allowed us to learn a little about the history of the Island.  Apparently, centuries ago, the Island belonged to a Spanish sea captain.  Ruthless tycoon Douglas Picard (Vic Morrow) came across the deed to the island after he moved into a villa that once belonged to the captain.  Picard claims that the Island is legally his.  Roarke points out that the deed is several centuries old and that it would take years for the legal system to sort out who owned what.  Picard challenges Roarke to three challenges to decide who will own the island, challenges that will test the mind, body, and spirit of the two men.  The person to win two of the matches also wins the Island.  Roarke agrees.

Here’s the thing that I find interesting about all of this.  First off, it’s implied that the Spanish sea captain was a part of the Spanish Armada.  Why would the Spanish Armada have been in the South Pacific?  Even more importantly, though, was the island still capable of granting fantasies when it was owned the Captain?  Are the fantasies created by the Island or by Mr. Roarke?  The case for the Island being magical can be found in this very episode, in which Tattoo takes Rebecca to a lagoon inhabited by a genie.  Throughout the series, there have been many such locations on the Island.  But Roarke himself is clearly more than just the charming owner of a resort.  Ricardo Montalban once said that he felt Roarke was a fallen angel who was doing penance on the Island.  That’s an interesting idea and would certainly explain why Roddy McDowall’s Devil always seemed to want to steal Roarke’s soul.  Of course, the Blumhouse film and the recently-canceled reboot both suggested that Fantasy Island has had many different caretakers but I’m not sure that I consider either one of those to be canonical.  I kind of like the idea Roarke having lived on the Island for centuries, like Richard on Lost.

Anyway, the three competitions are actually pretty interesting.  The first one is a chess match that is won by Roarke.  The second one features Roarke and Picard arm-wrestling over a killer spider.  Roarke is in on the verge of winning that one but allows Picard to have the victory rather than kill him.  The third competition is to do something selfless that improves someone else’s life.  (I’m not sure how the winner would be selected but we’ll just go with it.)  Picard gives money to a charity that he knows little about.  Roarke, however, wins because he made Picard’s sister, Eunice (Jane Powell), happy by choosing not to kill Picard.  Picard is so happy to finally see Eunice happy that he decides he doesn’t need to take ownership of Fantasy Island.  Everyone leaves the Island a better person than they were when they arrived.  Yay!

As I said before, this episode felt like a throwback to the earlier seasons of Fantasy Island.  This was a great trip to the Island!