Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing The American Short Story, which ran semi-regularly on PBS in 1974 to 1981. The entire show can be purchased on Prime and found on YouTube and Tubi.
This week, we have an adaptation of a Richard Wright short story.
Episode #4 “Almos’ A Man”
(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired in 1976)
David (LeVar Burton) is a black fifteen year-old living in the Deep South in the 1930s. He works on his family’s farm and takes care of a mule named Jenny. He considers himself to be almost a man. His mother (Madge Sinclair) and his father (Robert DoQui) disagree.
David knows the one thing that he need to make himself a man. He needs a gun and, this being the 1930s, he finds one that he can order from a Sears & Roebuck catalogue. His mother says that there’s no way she’s letting him get a gun. His father is a bit more open to it. David secretly sends away for the gun and, as you can probably guess, tragedy ensues.
This was a downbeat adaptation of a similarly downbeat Richard Wright short story. David obsession with being a man makes sense when you consider that he lives in a world where everyone — from his parents to the menacing white people who show up towards end — calls him a “boy.” The white people even call his father “boy” and it’s a reminder of how that term was used to dehumanize and degrade black men, even someone like David’s father who has raised a family, takes care of his farm, and who is, in every way imaginable, a man.
Nicely done, this one, with good performance from Burton, Sinclair, and Doqui. As for Richard Wright, he had been dead for 16 years by the time this premiered. He died in Paris, having left the United States in 1946. He’s remembered for his novel NativeSon and his memoir, BlackBoy. Personally, I would add that he should also be remembered for his essay that appeared in the anti-Communist collection, TheGodThatFailed. This adaptation of Almos‘ AMan does a good job paying tribute to Wright’s voice and legacy.
This is the last weekend of my vacation! I’ll be back on Monday. Here are a few film recommendations, inspired by both my vacation and the upcoming patriotic holiday!
Keeping The World Safe
Whenever anyone asks me what the best film ever made about Hawaii is (and it happens all the time, let me tell ya), I always reply with From Here To Eternity. Then I smile and say, “Or maybe it’s Hard Ticket To Hawaii!” Directed by Andy Sidaris, Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987) has it all. A mutant snake, a sex doll-carrying assassin on a skateboard, a killer frisbee, the Molokai cops, a single-engine airplane, and Ridge from the Bold and the Beautiful! This is the film that taught me that the proper way to reply to a guy saying, “Nice ass!” was to smile and say, “You too, Pilgrim.” Hard Ticket To Hawaii is one of the most deliriously strange and entertaining films ever made and you can view it on Tubi!
After viewing Hard Ticket to Hawaii, be sure to check out Andy Sidaris’s other great film, Guns (1990). Guns not only features a tropical paradise but it also stars Erik Estrada, giving a totally over-the-top performance as the villain. Guns can be viewed on Tubi.
As a resident of Dallas, I will always have a soft place in my heart for Sidaris’s Day of The Warrior (1996), in which it is established that the world’s most evil secret organization is headquartered on top floor of the Bank America Plaza and that the evil mastermind lives in “North Dallas.” You probably have to be from Dallas to get the joke but it’s a good one. Day of the Warrior can be viewed on Tubi.
Finally, The Dallas Connection (1994)was directed by Andy’s son, Christian Drew Sidaris. I have to recommend this one because it not only takes place in Dallas but it’s actually named after the city as well! Filmed on location, this film features plenty of action and exploding toy boat. The Dallas Connection can be viewed on Tubi.
If you want your action stars to have a bit more of a social consciousness, Born Losers (1967) features Billy Jack (Tom Laughlin) in his first film appearance. In three subsequent films, Billy Jack would go on to fight for pacifism and Native American rights and would eventually becomes a U.S. Senator but, in this film, he just kills a bunch of bikers who have been harassing tourists in California. Born Losers can be viewed on Tubi.
God Bless America
Next Friday will be the Fourth of July. USA! USA! USA!
Invasion USA (1952)takes a look at what happens when a bunch of people take America for granted. Fortunately, Dan O’Herlihy is on hand to hypnotize everyone and force them to experience what life would be like if the communists took over America. Thank you, mysterious hypnotist! This film can be viewed on Tubi.
Years later, those commies were still trying to invade and divide America. Fortunately, Chuck Norris was available to stop them. Invasion U.S.A. (1985) features one of Richard Lynch’s greatest performances and it can be viewed on Tubi.
I Was A Communist For The FBI (1958) claims to tell the true story of a man who spent years working undercover as a communist. His family rejected him. His neighbors scorned him. This film is a real time capsule of the time it was made. That said, it’s portrayal of communists as being a bunch of upper class bigots who manipulate a working class that they have no interest in being a part of still feels relevant today. I Was A Communist For The FBI can be viewed on YouTube.
Odds and Ends
Cold In July (2014) is one of the best neo-noirs of the best ten years and it features an excellent performance from Don Johnson, whose weathered toughness gives him a gravitas that he was occasionally lacking in his younger years. It can be viewed on Tubi.
Finally, Jeff and I watched Smokey and the Bandit (1977) earlier this week. It’s one of Jeff’s favorites and, whenever I watch it, I’m always surprised to re-discover how much I enjoy it myself. Fast cars, a truck that looked a lot like the one my Dad used to drive, Southern scenery, and a theme song that gets stuck in your head, what’s not to like? I related to Sally Field’s confusion as to why anyone would want to eat at a “choke-n-puke.” It’s available on Netflix!
A man who has no memory arrives in the town of Lyncastle and immediately discovers that, whoever he may be, no one wants him around. One person tells him that his name is Johnny McBride and that the police are looking for him. Our stranger may not know who he is but he’s fairly sure that he’s not Johnny McBride. But yet everyone in town insists that he is. When the police try to check his fingerprints, they discover that he has no fingerprints! Apparently, he lost them at the same time that he lost his memory….
That’s the set up for Mickey Spillane’s 1951 novel, The Long Wait. I won’t spoil the rest of it because 1) this book is full of shocking twists, 2) none of them make much sense, but 3) they’re all so over-the-top and ludicrous that you can’t help but love them. Reading The Long Wait, one gets the feeling that Spillane made up the plot as he went along and it’s hard not to admire his dedication to sticking with the story, no matter how weird and, to be quite frank, ridiculous things got.
This is not one of Spillane’s Mike Hammer novels. Hammer is not in this book. If anything, our amnesiac hero is even more violent and brutal than Hammer because the hero of The Long Wait literally has nothing to live for. Hammer at least had an office and a life that he could return to after killing all the bad guys. The hero of The Long Wait may not know who he is but he still knows that’s he’s pretty angry with a lot of people.
Violent, melodramatic, and at times thoroughly gratuitous, The Long Wait is an entertainingly absurd book. I read it in a hotel room and I recommend you do the same.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The entire series can be found on YouTube!
This week’s episode is a sad one.
Episode 3.17 “Jack-In-The-Box”
(Dir by David Winning, originally aired on April 23rd, 1990)
After her lifeguard father drowns, a young girl named Megan (Marsha Moreau) uses a cursed jack-in-the-box to get revenge of those who she blames for his death. Seeing the jack in the box when it opens leads to people drowning. A janitor drowns in a pool. One guy drowns in a car wash. The deaths are grisly but it brings back the spirit of Megan’s death father. Or, at least, that’s what Megan thinks. Personally, I think the spirt was a demon in disguise because some of the things he suggested were really out there.
This was a really sad episode. In an amazing coincidence, Micki knew the lifeguard’s family and she spent most of this episode on the verge of tears. Meanwhile, Megan’s mother dealt with her sadness by becoming an alcoholic and Megan killed a number of people just so she could spend some time with her “father.” This episode was well-acted and well-written and really not the right sort of thing for me to watch at a time when the one-year anniversary of my Dad’s passing is quickly approaching. This was an episode that not only left Micki in tears but it left me in tears as well.
Okay, enough sadness! This was a good episode. The third season has been uneven and I still miss Ryan’s character but this episode showed that Friday the 13th was still capable of being effective even as the show came to a close.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!
This week. Dr. Craig finally gets to perform his first heart transplant.
Episode 2.4 “Qui Transtulit Sustinet”
(Dir by Victor Lobl, originally aired on November 16th, 1983)
It’s a busy day at St. Eligius.
While Morrison struggles to come to terms with the death of his wife, her heart is transplanted into Eve Leighton. Morrison tells Westphall that he wants to keep working at the hospital and that he doesn’t need any time off. Westphall tells Morrison that he’s too distraught to be trusted with patients and that he has to take some time off. Westphall actually has a point, even if he does come across as being a bit cold when talking to Morrison. Even Peter White, that drug-addicted sleazebag, tells Morrison that he’s needs to take some time. Seriously, I think this is the first time that Dr. White’s been correct about anything since this show began.
Dr. Craig finally gets to perform a heart transplant but afterwards, in a wonderfully-acted scene, he tells Westphall that he feels a bit let down. After all the anticipation and the preparation, Craig isn’t sure what to do now that he’s actually performed the surgery. For once, he doesn’t want to talk to the press, regardless of how much the city of Boston expects him to. It’s a nicely human moment, one that we don’t often get from Dr. Craig.
Nurse Rosenthal attempted to console another breast cancer patient and met with Mark Harmon’s Dr. Caldwell to discuss getting breast reconstruction surgery. Nurse Rosenthal’s breast cancer storyline has consistently been well-acted and well-written and it has also been consistently difficult for me, as someone who lost her mother to cancer, to watch and write about. That was certainly the case for me with this episode.
Meanwhile, Fiscus and Luther pool their money to make an investment in silver but, at the last minute, Fiscus pulls out of their investment. His nerves get the better of him. Luther makes a lot of money. Fiscus doesn’t. Hey, guys — Morrison’s wife is dead. Show some respect and save the comedy for another episode.
This was an intense episode but it ended on a beautiful note, with Dr. Morrison listening to the sound of his wife’s heart beating in someone else’s body. A beautiful note but also a very sad one. I’m worried about Jack Morrison. I’m worried about the recipient of the heart. I’m worried about Helen Rosenthal. I’m worried about the entire hospital!
Legendary actor Charles Bronson ended his five-decade career by starring in a series of made-for-TV movies, FAMILY OF COPS (1995), BREACH OF FAITH: A FAMILY OF COPS II (1997), and FAMILY OF COPS III: UNDER SUSPICION (1999). I was in my mid-twenties as this series played out, and I enjoyed each of the installments. Today, I’m going to take a look at the final film in the series, and the final film in Charles Bronson’s career.
FAMILY OF COPS III: UNDER SUSPICION opens with Milwaukee Police Inspector Paul Fein (Charles Bronson) and his detective son, Ben Fein (Joe Penny), investigating the double murder of a wealthy banker, Phillip Chandler, and his wife. Their initial suspect, the couple’s son Evan Chandler (Greg Spottiswood), is later found murdered, so they have to keep digging. They eventually uncover a money laundering scandal involving the current Chief of Police (Sean McCann) that may go all the way up to the Mayor (Art Hindle)! As usual, this series includes additional storylines involving other members of the family. One of the subplots involves Paul’s youngest son Eddie (Sebastian Spence), who’s racked with guilt over a S.W.A.T. raid gone wrong. Unable to open the warehouse door at the appropriate time, Eddie blames himself for the deaths of two cops. The other primary subplot involves Paul’s oldest daughter Kate (Barbara Williams), who finds herself pregnant with the child of her social worker boyfriend. Determined to have the baby whether her boyfriend hangs around or not, Kate must navigate their relationship and all the family drama while preparing for the possibility of being a single mother.
As far as I’m concerned, the fact that this is Charles Bronson’s final film should make it a must watch for any person who considers themselves to be a fan of the icon. Making his debut in 1951 in the Gary Cooper film YOU’RE IN THE NAVY NOW, because he could “belch on cue,” Bronson’s final film would debut on CBS on January 10th, 1999, when he was 77 years old. At such an advanced age, Bronson still commanded the screen even though he was at the end of his career, and as time would tell, near the end of his life. He would be diagnosed in 2001 with Alzheimer’s disease and would pass away on August 30th, 2003. I savor every moment of this film, and while it makes me sad in some ways, in other ways I consider it my favorite of the series. Joe Penny steps up and takes a co-lead role in the film. He’s tough and sensitive, which adds another layer of depth to the foundation that Bronson had established in the first two movies. The series wouldn’t get another movie without Bronson, but I would have definitely been down for a Joe Penny led follow-up! This movie has a stronger sense of humor than we’ve seen in the earlier films, and I also like the main story as Paul Fein and his son take on systemic corruption in Milwaukee. While it’s still formulaic, I found the primary storyline to be more interesting than the generic crime stories in the first two installments. The subplots involving Eddie and Kate add some depth to the Fein family dynamics, but other than the fact that Kate is determined to keep her baby with or without her boyfriend’s help, the subplots didn’t make much of an impact for me. Also, there is one major departure in this installment, as Angela Featherstone does not return as the youngest daughter, Jackie Fein. Nicole de Boer steps into the role, and while she’s cute as a button, the character isn’t given much to do.
Overall, while FAMILY OF COPS III: UNDER SUSPICION is not in the same league as the great films made during Charles Bronson’s prime, it’s still a respectable close to his iconic career. It features good, committed performances, especially from Bronson and Joe Penny. The final shots of Charles Bronson looking over his movie family and smiling as they enjoy each other and share a meal together is a fitting end to his movie career, and one final celluloid glimpse into the man underneath the legendary facade.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!
This week, the fourth season premiere concludes.
Episode 4.2 “Man’s Best Friend Part 2”
(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on September 23rd, 1987)
Picking up where last week’s episode, this episode opens with Alex (Danny Pintauro) visiting Jake the Siberian Husky at the big home that Jake shares with Jenny (Elisabeth Harnois), her grandfather (William Schallert), and her parents, Paul (Stan Ivar) and Michelle Raines (Laurie Walters).
Yay!
Alex’s attitude improves so much that it’s decided to move him into a foster home.
Uhmm….what about the Raines family?
The surrogate hired to carry Paul and Michelle’s baby loses the baby. Paul and Michelle are heartbroken.
Uhmm….hey, I think Alex needs a family….
Jenny gives Jake to Alex.
Awwww!
Alex’s foster family lives in a building that doesn’t allow pets.
Oh no!
Alex and Jake run away and, after nearly dying in the desert, they end up with the Raines family’s home.
I see where this is going….
If you guessed that Paul and Michelle announce that they’re going to adopt Alex and that Jake is going to continue to live with them on the ranch, congratulations! You could have been a HighwaytoHeaven writer!
This episode didn’t make me cry as much as last week’s, mostly because it was pretty easy to see where things were heading from the beginning. Even when Alex and Jake were lost in the desert, I knew they would be okay because this is HighwaytoHeaven. Children and their adorable dogs don’t die on this show. (Except, of course, for those twotimes that they did. Actually, three times, now that I think about it.) That said, I was still relieved when Jake was rescued because seriously, that dog was adorable!
This was a good conclusion to last week’s episode. Everything worked out for the best. At the end of the episode, Mark said that he understood why “they call them man’s best friend.” Michael nodded and then said, a little sadly, “Shouldn’t man’s best friend be …. man?”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999. Almost the entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!
Yes, this is from the first season. I don’t care. I refuse to waste my time looking for a second season advertisement.
This week, guess who is the worst?
Episode 2.16 “Movin’ On Out’
(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on February 19th, 2000)
This episode revisits a familiar theme. Lisa — this is, the show’s Lisa as opposed to your intrepid, red-headed reviewer — is the absolute worse. This week, Lisa is annoyed with Traycee because Traycee doesn’t always give Lisa her messages and Traycee sent the plumber home before he could fix the sink. (Traycee thought Lisa was trying to set her up on a date with the plumber.) Lisa says, “I can’t live like this” and proceeds to write up a long list of rules that Traycee will have to follow if she wants to continue living in the apartment.
(If I remember correctly, Traycee’s name is on the lease so how exactly Lisa is going to kick her out, I have no idea.)
It’s a really long list. Traycee decides to move in with the Collins brothers. The Collins brothers are excited because Traycee is planning on throwing a lingerie party with all of her friend. (Jason and Scott assume they’ll be invited.) Lisa tell Jason and Scott that they will regret letting Traycee move in but actually, Jason and Scott love living with her.
Meanwhile, Lisa gets a new roommate, who turns out to be a psychotic wrestling fan. And really, that’s where this episode should have ended. Lisa spent this episode acting like a spoiled snob, going so far as to tell other people — like the Collins brothers — not to let Traycee live with them. Hey, Lisa — IT WAS TRAYCEE’S APARTMENT IN THE FIRST GODDAMN PLACE! And didn’t we already do this stupid story at the start of the season? Yes, we did! This episode should have ended with Lisa realizing her new roommate was crazy. Instead, it ended with Lisa giving Traycee a not terribly convincing apology.
Anyway, Traycee does move back in with Lisa. She was tired of the Collins boys always wanting her to throw another party. Lisa kicks out her new roommate. Has Lisa ever considered that she might be impossible to live with?
Fortunately, the B-plot was kind of cute. After witnessing him saving the life of a sea lion, Alex develops a crush on Murray. Murray likes Alex but he worries she’s too beautiful to ever stick with a guy like him. Jason advices Murray to act like an obnoxious jackass because women love that. (Excuse me while I dramatically roll my eyes.) Murray takes Jason’s advice, even though Jason hasn’t had a girlfriend since Stads abandoned him for Europe.
(Seriously, Stads dumped Jason for a continent. Ha ha, sucks to be you, Jason.)
This B-plot may have been dumb but you know what? Brandon Brooks was adorable as the emotionally vulnerable Murray. Brooks is often the only reason to watch this show. He manages to play the goofy best friend without turning the character into a Screech-style caricature and that makes him unique amongst the goofy best friends who populated the sitcoms that Peter Engel produced in the 90s and early aughts. When I watched the pilot, I never would have guessed that Murray would eventually become my favorite character but that is what has happened. On a show where everyone else is either self-absorbed, bitchy, or just a jackass, Murray’s good vibes are often Malibu CA’s saving grace.
Legendary actor Charles Bronson ended his five-decade career by starring in a series of made-for-TV movies, FAMILY OF COPS (1995), BREACH OF FAITH: A FAMILY OF COPS II (1997), and FAMILY OF COPS III: UNDER SUSPICION (1999). I was in my mid-twenties as this series played out, and I enjoyed each of the installments. Today, I’m going to take a look at the second film in the series.
BREACH OF FAITH: A FAMILY OF COPS II picks back up with the Fein family a couple of years after the first installment. The main storyline follows Police inspector and family patriarch Paul Fein (Charles Bronson) as he supervises the investigation into the murder of a popular local Catholic priest. Of course, the investigation is a family affair, as his eldest son Ben (Joe Penny) is the lead detective on the case. Paul and Ben follow the clues that lead directly to the Russian mafia. As the investigation closes in, members of the Fein family find themselves targeted for beatdowns by Russian henchmen in order to get Paul to drop the case. Other storylines include the widower Paul’s blossoming relationship with detective Anna Meyer. Her “moves” on Paul, which began in the first installment, seem to finally be paying off. Paul’s eldest daughter Kate, the public defender, has her own set of problems when she successfully advocates for the parole of a 12-year-old criminal. On the little psychopath’s first night out, he robs a store, shoots and kills Eddie Fein’s partner, and then gets killed himself when Eddie fires back. Meanwhile, Paul’s youngest daughter Jackie (Angela Featherstone), who seems to be getting her life back on track after the events of the first film, decides she’s going to join the police academy against her dad’s wishes. Finally, Paul’s sister Shelly (Diane Ladd) visits the family, tells stories about her brother, shares a lot of wisdom, and even finds herself caught up in the crossfire of the Fein family / Russian mafia feud!
Charles Bronson was 75 years old when BREACH OF FAITH: FAMILY OF COPS II premiered on CBS on the night of February 2nd, 1997. He still handles the emotional scenes with his family well, gets to throw a couple of punches, and even gets to shoot some people, but the younger men (Joe Penny and Sebastian Spence) handle more of the action this time around. Charles Bronson is still the main reason to watch, but after all of these years, you can finally tell that he is slowing down. There is only one departure from the original cast, and that’s Joe Penny replacing Daniel Baldwin as the eldest son, Detective Ben Fein. I don’t think it hurts the film in any way, and to be completely honest, I prefer Joe Penny in the role. Sebastian Spence and Barbara Williams get to do a little more heavy lifting as Eddie Fein and Kate Fein deal with the aftermath of the young criminal, that Kate helped get released, shooting and killing Eddie’s partner. There is one exchange between Paul and his daughter Kate, who’s dealing with extreme guilt over the situation, that I always found unintentionally funny. It goes something like this:
Paul: “It’s not your fault.”
Kate: “Of course, it is.”
Paul: “Okay! So it is!”
Thanks a lot, Dad! Angela Featherstone, whose Jackie was the most interesting character in the first film, doesn’t have as much to do in this installment. She and Bronson have a great scene together when he tries to talk her out of becoming a cop, but once she heads to the academy, she pretty much disappears from the last half of the film. And finally, I like Diane Ladd as Bronson’s sister in the film. Her character brings another layer of warmth to the family dynamics and helps us get to know her brother Paul a little better.
As was the case with the original film, the central police investigation into the death of the priest at the hands of the Russian mafia isn’t all that interesting. The bad guys come right out of central casting for TV movies of the era, and the subdued violence and reduced action due to its TV roots can’t help but be compared negatively to the explosive action films that Charles Bronson once headlined. I never felt like the family was really in danger. And this is a completely personal preference, but I don’t care for the romantic relationship that develops between the characters played by Bronson and Kim Weeks. Bronson was dating Weeks in real life at the time of this movie, and they would be married the following year. Although I do hope that they were happy together in real life, I’m just not a fan of Weeks as an actress, and it’s hard for me to accept anyone but Jill Ireland as his on and off-screen love interest.
With BREACH OF FAITH: FAMILY OF COPS II being the penultimate film in Charles Bronson’s career, I definitely recommend it to his fans and to anyone else who enjoys TV movies of the era. While Bronson may be slowing down due to his age, Paul Fein is a perfect character for the icon that allows him to be tough and tender in equal measure. The final sequence of the film always brings a tear to my eye. The entire family is sitting down together to celebrate the weekly “Shabbat” meal when a misty-eyed Paul Fein raises a glass and says, “I’m proud of every one of you… my family.” I know just how much Bronson’s family meant to him, and I can’t help but see that come through in his performance.
Through the Shattered Lens 